Good Morning, Midnight by Roderick Graham

Oldtuberadio

Saturday-Night Theatre: Good Morning, Midnight Roderick Graham's dramatisation of the novel by Jean Rhys based on her own life. Sat 17th Jun 1995, 19:50 on BBC Radio 4 FM  Eileen Atkins plays Sasha, an Englishwoman living in Paris.  The last of the four novels Jean Rhys wrote in interwar Paris, Good Morning, Midnight is the culmination of a searing literary arc, which established Rhys as an astute observer of human tragedy. Her everywoman heroine, Sasha, must confront the loves— and losses— of her past in this mesmerizing and formally daring psychological portrait.  Music by Stephen Warbeck.  Director Jane Morgan  Rene: Dominic Letts Enno: Steve Hodson Delmar: Sandor Eles Paul: Raad Rawi Nurse: Shirley Dixon Dress shop owner: Michael McStay Waiters: Malcolm Ward With Alice Arnold Constance Byme Emma Gregory Jeremy Spriggs Peter Whitman.   Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00:00I may be here to do something about it.

00:00:04Careful, careful, no excitement.

00:00:07You know what happens when you get exalted.

00:00:10Yes, and you know how you collapse like a prick balloon.

00:00:13So, no excitement, not too much drinking,

00:00:16avoidance of certain cafes, of certain streets, of certain spots.

00:00:21No trailing around aimlessly with cheap gramophone records starting up in your head.

00:00:26Above all, no crying in public.

00:00:30No crying at all, if you can help it.

00:00:32I passed the exact place for my afternoon drink.

00:00:36It's a cafe which always seems to be empty.

00:00:39I remember it from before.

00:00:42A perno, siruple.

00:00:43A perno.

00:00:45Just one, just one for luck.

00:00:48Here's to the miracle.

00:00:51How much did you lose?

00:00:52Five hundred, whereabouts.

00:00:55Macara's a stupid game.

00:00:57Drink up now.

00:00:57Now I haven't got the fare back to Algiers.

00:01:02Life's difficult.

00:01:03Yes, life isn't easy.

00:01:05One needs a lot of courage to live.

00:01:08I believe you.

00:01:09Let's go.

00:01:12Another perno, civil play.

00:01:13There were no miracles.

00:01:18I sit alone in a large, clean cafe and watch myself in the mirror above the bar, thinking

00:01:24that I haven't got a care in the world, except the tomorrow's Sunday.

00:01:30A difficult day Sunday.

00:01:32A somber Sunday.

00:01:35Planning it all out.

00:01:37Eating, a movie, eating again, one drink, a long walk back to the hotel, bed, luminal, sleep.

00:01:47No dreams, just sleep.

00:01:51No dreams.

00:01:52I have done it.

00:01:57Sunday at eight o'clock, and here I am, coming out of a cinema on the Champs-Elysees, according

00:02:02to programme, and Paris is looking very nice.

00:02:05You're looking very nice tonight, my darling, my beautiful.

00:02:08And oh, what a bitch you can be.

00:02:11But you didn't kill me after all, did you?

00:02:14I walk along, remembering this.

00:02:18I used to work in a shop off this street.

00:02:21It was one of those dress houses, still with a certain prestige, but its customers were getting

00:02:25fewer and fewer.

00:02:27I sat in a large, white and gold room, with imitation Louis Kahn's furniture, and three

00:02:33or four elongated dolls, beautifully painted and dressed.

00:02:36Every time a customer arrived, the commissionaire touched a bell, and I would advance, smiling

00:02:43a small, discreet smile.

00:02:46Good afternoon, madame.

00:02:47Has madame a want to ask?

00:02:50If madame will accompany me.

00:02:53This shop, among others, was owned by an Englishman who made a royal visit, bowler hat, majestic

00:02:59trousers, along with Salvatini, our boss.

00:03:03I see.

00:03:03Don't let him notice me.

00:03:04Don't let him look at me.

00:03:06Oh, good morning.

00:03:07Good morning, Miss, uh...

00:03:08Mrs. Jensen.

00:03:09Ah, and how many languages do you speak?

00:03:12Uh, one.

00:03:14I don't understand.

00:03:15I understand French quite well.

00:03:18Salvatini told me that the receptionist spoke French and German fluently.

00:03:22Yeah, because I have a friend who knows Salvatini's mistress, and Salvatini's mistress spoke to

00:03:27Salvatini, and the day he saw me, I wasn't looking too bad, and he was in a good mood.

00:03:33Nothing to do with fluent French and German.

00:03:35I'm here because I'm here because I'm here because I'm here.

00:03:40I speak French fairly well.

00:03:43I've been living in Paris for eight years.

00:03:46How long have you been working here?

00:03:47About three weeks.

00:03:48What was your last job?

00:03:50I worked at the Maison Shows on the Place Vendôme.

00:03:52Oh, you worked for shows.

00:03:54Did you?

00:03:56You worked for shows.

00:03:57Were you a receptionist there?

00:03:59No, I worked at a mannequin.

00:04:01A mannequin?

00:04:03How long ago was this?

00:04:04One...

00:04:05Four, nearly five years ago.

00:04:08And how long did you stay there?

00:04:09About three months, and...

00:04:12And?

00:04:13And then I left.

00:04:14Oh, you left shows?

00:04:16Yes, I left.

00:04:17Have you worked anywhere else since then?

00:04:19Well, no, I haven't.

00:04:21I see.

00:04:24Come on, Salvatini.

00:04:25Yes, my dear sir, I left.

00:04:30I got bored, and I walked out on them.

00:04:33But that was five years ago, and a lot can happen in five years.

00:04:37I haven't the slightest intention of walking out on you, I can assure you of that.

00:04:41And I hope you haven't the slightest intention of...

00:04:45And just the thought that you may have the slightest intention

00:04:49makes my hands go cold and my heart beat.

00:04:55Good afternoon, madame.

00:04:56Does madame wish of ondeurs, or mademoiselle?

00:04:59You have some pretty things in your window.

00:05:02I...

00:05:02I want something to wear in my hair.

00:05:05Oh, at once, madame.

00:05:06If madame would remove her hat.

00:05:09Madame takes off her hat, and she is perfectly bald on top.

00:05:13A white, bald skull with a fringe of grey hair.

00:05:18Perhaps the...

00:05:19The hairband?

00:05:20No.

00:05:21No.

00:05:22Too dark.

00:05:23Get me that Spanish comb.

00:05:26Real tortoiseshell, madame.

00:05:28Oh, come along, mother.

00:05:29Let's go.

00:05:30Don't be silly.

00:05:30You won't find anything here.

00:05:32That yellow flower.

00:05:34Is it silk?

00:05:35You're silk, madame.

00:05:36Oh.

00:05:37Clashes with my lipstick.

00:05:39Yellow is very difficult.

00:05:41Can you reach me that green flower?

00:05:43Mother, you look like a Roman emperor.

00:05:46Do let's go.

00:05:47The lace.

00:05:48Oh, oh, too small.

00:05:51I'm very sorry.

00:05:52I'm so sorry to have given you so much trouble.

00:05:56It's no trouble at all, madame.

00:05:58Mademoiselle?

00:06:00The owner sends for me, and I at once make up my mind that he wants to find out if I can speak German.

00:06:06All the little German that I know flies out of my head.

00:06:11Jesus, help me.

00:06:13Ja, ja, nein, nein.

00:06:15Was kostet es?

00:06:16Bean ist eine schöne Stadt.

00:06:18Budapest auch ist eine sehr schöne Stadt.

00:06:21He's sure to notice how shabby my shoes are.

00:06:25Yes?

00:06:27Yes, what is it?

00:06:29Mrs. Jensen, sir.

00:06:30Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:06:32But once I know.

00:06:35He doesn't want me to talk German.

00:06:37He's going to give me the sack.

00:06:39Will you please take this letter to the Kaiser?

00:06:42Um, the...

00:06:43Be as quick as you can, Mrs. Um, please.

00:06:46Thank you very much.

00:06:47I turn and walk blindly through a door.

00:06:53It was a lavatory.

00:06:55They watch sarcastically as I go out of the right door.

00:06:59I walk a little way along the passage and stand with my back against the wall.

00:07:04Kaiser.

00:07:06Kaiser.

00:07:07He's got me into such a state that I can't imagine what it meant.

00:07:11Now, no panic.

00:07:13This envelope must have a name on it.

00:07:15Monsieur le Gruset.

00:07:18Somewhere in this building, there is a Monsieur Gruset.

00:07:22Easy.

00:07:24I turn to the right along a passage down a flight of stairs.

00:07:29No, these are the workrooms.

00:07:32I try another passage.

00:07:34It ends in a lavatory.

00:07:36The number of lavatories in this place.

00:07:38I turn the corner and find myself in the original passage.

00:07:43Well, after this, it becomes a nightmare.

00:07:46I walk upstairs, along passages, past doors, all different, all exactly alike.

00:07:52This can't go on.

00:07:54Shall I throw the damn thing away and forget all about it?

00:07:57What you must do is this, I tell myself.

00:08:02You must go back and say, quite calmly,

00:08:04I'm very sorry, but I didn't understand where you wanted me to take this note.

00:08:10Come in!

00:08:11I couldn't find him.

00:08:16How do you mean you couldn't find him?

00:08:17He must be there.

00:08:19I'm very sorry.

00:08:20I didn't know where to find him.

00:08:21You don't know where to find the cashier, the counting house.

00:08:25I was speaking French.

00:08:26La case.

00:08:26You know the word?

00:08:28Oh, yes, I do.

00:08:29Oh, yes, I do know.

00:08:30Extraordinary.

00:08:31Quite extraordinary.

00:08:32God knows I'm used to fools, but this is complete imbecility.

00:08:35You seem to be half-witted.

00:08:37You're hopeless.

00:08:38Well, quite hopeless.

00:08:41Now, wait a minute.

00:08:42You'd better take that note along.

00:08:44You do know where to take it now, don't you?

00:08:46The cashier?

00:08:47Yes.

00:08:48You're a hopeless, helpless little fool, aren't you?

00:08:51Well, aren't you?

00:08:53Yes.

00:08:54Yes, yes.

00:08:56Yes, oh, yes.

00:08:57Oh, dear me.

00:08:59Do get on with it.

00:09:02I rush away from him and lock myself in a fitting room.

00:09:05In it is a dress that has been shown a lot and is to be sold off for 400 francs.

00:09:12I have tried it on.

00:09:14I have seen myself in it.

00:09:16It is a black dress with wide sleeves embroidered in vivid colors, red, green, blue, purple.

00:09:22It is my dress.

00:09:26If I had been wearing it, I should never have stammered or been stupid.

00:09:30I cry for a long time, for myself, for the old woman with the bald head, for all the sadness of the damn world, for all the fools and the defeated.

00:09:41Now I have stopped crying.

00:09:46Now I shall never have that dress.

00:09:49Today, this hour, this minute, I am utterly defeated.

00:09:54I have had enough.

00:09:57I go into the other room, this time without knocking.

00:10:00The owner is writing letters and looks at me with distaste.

00:10:06Dish of the day.

00:10:07Boiled eyes, served cold.

00:10:10Now look, you have the right to pay me 400 francs a month.

00:10:14That's my market value, for I am an inefficient member of society, slow on the uptake, uncertain, slightly damaged in the fray.

00:10:21You have the right to lodge me in a small, dark room, to clothe me shabbily, to harass me with worry and monotony and unsatisfied longings till you get me to the point where I blush at a look or cry at a word.

00:10:32But the right to ridicule me afterwards, no, that you have not got.

00:10:37And that is the right you hold most dearly, isn't it?

00:10:40Hallelujah.

00:10:42Did I say all this?

00:10:44Of course I didn't.

00:10:46I didn't even think it.

00:10:48Well, what now?

00:10:48Look, I think I'm too ill to go on with this.

00:10:52It's better if I go.

00:10:54At least I got him first.

00:10:56Oh, I quite agree.

00:10:57It would be the best thing.

00:11:00No regrets, sir?

00:11:01No.

00:11:02No regrets.

00:11:13And there I was, out on the avenue mad in me, with my 400 francs.

00:11:18And now, here I am on the avenue mad in me.

00:11:22Time moves on, but I'm still walking in the night.

00:11:26Back to the hotel.

00:11:27Always the same hotel.

00:11:29You press the button.

00:11:31The door opens.

00:11:32You go up the stairs.

00:11:34Always the same stairs.

00:11:35Now the landing is empty and deserted.

00:11:40The man next door has put his shoes outside his door.

00:11:43Long, pointed, patent leather shoes.

00:11:46Very cracked.

00:11:48He does get dressed, then.

00:11:50Perhaps he's a commercial traveller.

00:11:53Perhaps he's a traveller in dressing gowns.

00:11:55No, no.

00:11:58Quiet.

00:11:59Quiet.

00:12:01This is going to be a nice, quiet fortnight.

00:12:05I have a bath and try to relax.

00:12:08Then back to my room.

00:12:10When I get upstairs, the man next door is on the landing without his dressing gown.

00:12:14His night shirt barely reaches his knees.

00:12:17I walk past him without answering.

00:12:27And I get dressed.

00:12:29Who is it?

00:12:31Oh, for pity's sake.

00:12:35Yes?

00:12:37I'm glad to see we've got our white dressing gown on.

00:12:40What is it?

00:12:41Nothing.

00:12:42What do you want?

00:12:44Nothing.

00:12:44Then go away.

00:12:49Oh.

00:12:51There I am, alone in this dim room with the bed for Madame and the bed for Monsieur and the narrow street outside.

00:13:00I can see a girl making up in a window across the street.

00:13:04I can see socks, stockings, underclothes drying on a line in her room.

00:13:09A terrible hotel, this.

00:13:12An awful place.

00:13:14I must get out of it.

00:13:17Only I would have landed here.

00:13:19Only I would stay here.

00:13:22I'm thinking of that white dressing gown, like priest's robes.

00:13:27I'm frightened as hell.

00:13:29I've got to find another hotel.

00:13:34I feel ill and giddy.

00:13:36I remember that I have an address in my handbag.

00:13:40A brochure with pictures.

00:13:42A room with bath.

00:13:43A room with bath.

00:13:44A room with bath.

00:13:49A bedroom with bath.

00:13:50A room with bath.

00:13:51Swing high.

00:13:52Now slowly down.

00:13:55A beautiful room with bath.

00:13:58A room with bath.

00:14:01A nice room.

00:14:02A room.

00:14:05You don't dare, she said.

00:14:08Hang on, I said.

00:14:09You'll see if I dare or not.

00:14:11What did you do?

00:14:12Excuse me.

00:14:13Madam?

00:14:14I want a room for tonight.

00:14:16A room?

00:14:16A room with a bath?

00:14:18I want a light room.

00:14:19Madam?

00:14:20I don't want a room looking onto the courtyard.

00:14:22I want a light room.

00:14:25A light room.

00:14:27We have, um, 219.

00:14:31It's a beautiful room with bath.

00:14:3275 francs a night.

00:14:34Oh, God, I can't afford that.

00:14:35It has two windows.

00:14:36Very light.

00:14:37Marie, show Madam 219.

00:14:39You know 219 is occupied.

00:14:41Oh, no.

00:14:42219 had his bill the day before yesterday.

00:14:44I gave it to myself.

00:14:45That doesn't mean he's gone.

00:14:46When people ask for their bills, that means they're going.

00:14:50Doesn't it?

00:14:50Yes, French people.

00:14:52The others ask for the bill to see if we're going to cheat them.

00:14:55I must have 219.

00:14:59219 with rose-colored curtains, carpet and bath.

00:15:03I shall exist on a different plane at once if I can get this room.

00:15:06If only for a couple of nights.

00:15:08It will be an omen.

00:15:10Who says you can't escape from your fate?

00:15:12I'll escape from mine into 219.

00:15:15Just try me.

00:15:16Give me a chance.

00:15:17Show Madam 334.

00:15:19It looks on to the courtyard.

00:15:20I said I don't want a room looking on to the courtyard.

00:15:23I want a light room.

00:15:24Oh, this is a very light room.

00:15:26Primrose and blue.

00:15:27No, I mean a light room.

00:15:29A light room.

00:15:31Not a dark one.

00:15:33Thank you very much, but no.

00:15:35But we have other rooms.

00:15:37Beautiful rooms.

00:15:38Yes, yes.

00:15:39I'll telephone.

00:15:42So what did you do?

00:15:43Oh, well, I said to her, I said, how would I?

00:15:45When I get back to my hotel after this little fiasco, it looks all right and smells as respectable

00:15:51as you please.

00:15:52I imagined it all.

00:15:55I imagined everything.

00:15:57My neighbor is on the landing, but he goes into his room and shuts the door.

00:16:02Good.

00:16:02If we both try hard to avoid each other, we ought to be able to manage it.

00:16:09The room welcomes me back.

00:16:11There you are.

00:16:12You didn't go off then, it says.

00:16:14No, no, I thought better of it.

00:16:17Here I belong and here I'll stay.

00:16:21Tonight I could go and eat at the pig and lily.

00:16:24So far as I know, I have a perfectly clean record there.

00:16:28I've never made any scenes, collapsed or cried.

00:16:32I screw myself up to go into a room full of people, but the place is empty, dead as a

00:16:38doornail.

00:16:40Not many in tonight.

00:16:42It's always quiet about now.

00:16:43It'll fill up later.

00:16:44Ah.

00:16:45Can I get you something?

00:16:46I used to come here, oh, a bit ago.

00:16:50Monsieur Pekanelli was still here.

00:16:52Well, we've kept the name.

00:16:53Yes, pig and lily.

00:16:55Pardon?

00:16:56Pekanelli, pig and lily.

00:16:58I'm sorry?

00:16:59You're new.

00:17:01Bought it outright two years back.

00:17:03Now then, something to eat?

00:17:04Can I have a hot dog?

00:17:06Not here.

00:17:07We only do Javanese specialities.

00:17:09I'm glad you've kept the English hunting, Prince.

00:17:12Sometimes we light the fire.

00:17:13It's cold, so it has real flames.

00:17:16Part of the old English atmosphere.

00:17:18Tally-ho, tally-ho, a hunting we will go.

00:17:21I'm sorry?

00:17:22Me too.

00:17:23Let me see a menu.

00:17:25The man at the next table is staring at me.

00:17:28Now his girlfriend is looking, too.

00:17:31Do you know her?

00:17:32The old bird at the next table.

00:17:34The old bird?

00:17:35Me?

00:17:36Impossible.

00:17:37The English woman?

00:17:38No, I don't know her.

00:17:40Why should you imagine?

00:17:42I know her.

00:17:43This is as I thought and worse than I thought.

00:17:46There are lots of these old English women.

00:17:49Common as cockroaches in Montparnasse.

00:17:51A mad old English woman wandering around Montparnasse.

00:17:54This is indeed worse than I thought.

00:17:57How's madame chosen?

00:17:58I'll have the nasty goreng.

00:18:00Very good, madame.

00:18:01I can only marvel at the effect this place has on me.

00:18:06I expect it is because the drink is so much better.

00:18:10I'm not at all sad as I walk back to my hotel.

00:18:14No, I'm not sad, but by the time I get to the Boulevard Saint-Michel, I am feeling tired.

00:18:24There is a tabac where I can have a drink near the next statue.

00:18:29But just then, two men come up from behind and walk along on either side of me.

00:18:37Excuse me, madame.

00:18:39Why are you so sad?

00:18:41But I'm not sad.

00:18:42Why should you think I'm sad?

00:18:44Are you Germans?

00:18:45No, we're not.

00:18:47What are you?

00:18:47You're not Scandinavians.

00:18:49We're Russian.

00:18:51Let's go for a drink.

00:18:53A lot of wine be even up nicely.

00:18:55Now, there are two cafes here.

00:18:57One is neutral, but in the other, the proprietor is a bit hostile.

00:19:02So, choose.

00:19:07Here we go.

00:19:09Oh, damn.

00:19:11I must be a bit tight.

00:19:12It's the wrong one.

00:19:14I'll get the drinks.

00:19:15My life, which seems so simple and monotonous, is really a complicated affair of cafes where

00:19:23they like me and cafes where they don't.

00:19:26Streets that are friendly, streets that aren't.

00:19:29Rooms where I might be happy, rooms where I never shall be.

00:19:33Dresses that will be lucky, dresses that won't, and so on.

00:19:37Well, I'm not sad.

00:19:39I'm very happy, very comfortable, quite rich enough, and over here for a few weeks to buy

00:19:44clothes that will startle my many friends.

00:19:47Cheers.

00:19:47You may be quite happy, but you are not rich.

00:19:50I have often noticed that English women have melancholy expressions, but that it doesn't mean anything.

00:19:56That's right.

00:19:57It doesn't mean anything.

00:19:59No, no, madame.

00:20:00You are rich with a beautiful fur coat.

00:20:04I can see that.

00:20:05But I don't think you're happy.

00:20:07I feel a great sadness in you.

00:20:10It is the gods.

00:20:11It's the drink.

00:20:12No, I think madame Venus is playing tricks on you.

00:20:16No, I don't like her anymore.

00:20:18She's played me too many dirty tricks.

00:20:21She does that to everyone all the same.

00:20:23Be careful.

00:20:24I will.

00:20:25What god do they worship in England?

00:20:28Or is it a goddess?

00:20:30I don't know.

00:20:32Somebody wrote once that we worship a bitch goddess.

00:20:35Certainly isn't Venus.

00:20:36Oh, no, not Venus, not her.

00:20:39A bitch goddess?

00:20:41How cruel.

00:20:43Are the English cruel?

00:20:44Human beings are cruel.

00:20:47Horribly cruel.

00:20:48Not at all.

00:20:49That's a very short-sighted thing.

00:20:51Human beings are struggling.

00:20:54And so they are egotists.

00:20:55But it's wrong to say they are cruel.

00:20:57It's a depressing view.

00:21:00To hear you say this upsets me.

00:21:01I didn't mean to upset you.

00:21:03Oh, it's late and I'm tired.

00:21:05Don't be offended.

00:21:07It would be a pity not to meet again.

00:21:10Why don't we three have lunch tomorrow at the Piquet?

00:21:12I don't think I'll be feeling like Chinese food for lunch.

00:21:17What about the dome?

00:21:18Four o'clock then?

00:21:20Four o'clock.

00:21:20When I come out of the hotel next morning, I pass Theodore's restaurant.

00:21:32It's a long way to the place I usually eat at.

00:21:35I hesitate.

00:21:36Go back.

00:21:38Go in.

00:21:39I had meant to avoid Theodore's in case he might recognize me.

00:21:46In case he might think I had changed.

00:21:49In case he says so.

00:21:53Today I must be very careful.

00:21:55Today I have left my armor at home.

00:21:58Monsieur, madame.

00:21:58It's good to see you again.

00:22:00Some white wine, please.

00:22:03The house will do splendidly.

00:22:05What does it matter?

00:22:07They can't kill you, can they?

00:22:10Oh, can't they, though?

00:22:11Can't they?

00:22:13And the sole bonfum.

00:22:16Very good choice, madame.

00:22:18Who else have we got?

00:22:20Two young lovers.

00:22:22My God.

00:22:24Feeding each other from each other's place.

00:22:25At any moment I expect these two to start flapping wings and chirping.

00:22:30A middle-aged couple with their napkins under their chins.

00:22:35And a pretty woman accompanied by her husband.

00:22:38Her husband?

00:22:40Oh, yes, definitely.

00:22:41Not her lover.

00:22:43I eat with my eyes glued to my plate and the feeling of panic growing worse.

00:22:48I told you not to come here.

00:22:50I told you.

00:22:53At last, coffee.

00:22:55Sooner I shall be out in the street again.

00:22:58I feel better.

00:22:59Oh, monsieur.

00:23:01Madame, is that a fortune this way?

00:23:05Oh, my God.

00:23:06Madame, mademoiselle.

00:23:08I'm sorry, monsieur.

00:23:09It's the old lady in the fur coat on such day.

00:23:13I think she's a compatriot of yours.

00:23:14Is she a regular?

00:23:16Not so much now, but I remember her.

00:23:17She used to come here a good deal some years ago.

00:23:20Ah, those were the days.

00:23:21What's she doing here now?

00:23:23Well, just like yourself, she's having lunch.

00:23:26No, everyone in the room is staring at me.

00:23:28It has happened.

00:23:30I'm calm, but my hands start shaking so violently that I have to put my coffee cup down.

00:23:36Everybody comes back to Paris, always.

00:23:38Well, really.

00:23:39Monsieur Theodore, my bill, please.

00:23:42No more coffee, madame?

00:23:44Just the bill, thank you.

00:23:46Oh, I would give my life to put out my tongue as I pass that girl's table.

00:23:51As it is, I can't even look at her.

00:23:52But one day, one day, the fierce wolf that walks at my side will spring on you and rip your abominable guts out.

00:24:01One day.

00:24:02One day.

00:24:03Thank you, madame.

00:24:05Please don't let it be so long next time, madame.

00:24:07I decide to go to the Luxembourg Gardens and sit, as I did yesterday afternoon.

00:24:16I buy a ticket from the attendant, so it is quite legal.

00:24:19I feel safe clutching it.

00:24:21There are cats.

00:24:24There was a kitten in London.

00:24:27It belonged to the couple in the upstairs flat.

00:24:30It had an inferiority complex and persecution mania, a nostalgia de la boue, and all the rest.

00:24:37She was very thin, scraggy, and you could see in her eyes, her terrible hunted eyes, that she knew her fate.

00:24:44All the neighborhood toms were on to her like one o'clock, and she got a great sore on her neck.

00:24:52Feeling what was in the wind, she came down to my room and just crouched against the wall.

00:24:57She wouldn't eat, snarled at caresses.

00:25:01She just sat and stared at me with those terrible eyes.

00:25:05I couldn't stand it any longer, and I just shooed her out.

00:25:08I thought about her the rest of the day, and asked about her.

00:25:14They told me they were going to take her to the chemist to be put away.

00:25:18But she ran right out into the street, and a merciful taxi went over her.

00:25:24The cats here are craftier than that, beside the procession of shabby women, wheeling prams,

00:25:31of men tightly buttoned up into black overcoats.

00:25:34One of the figures detaches itself from the procession, and comes towards me.

00:25:42It is the younger of the Russians.

00:25:44You allow me?

00:25:45Of course.

00:25:48You didn't go to meet my friend Paul yesterday afternoon.

00:25:52He thought it wasn't at all nice of you.

00:25:55I'm sorry, but I wasn't feeling well.

00:25:57My name is Nicholas Delmar.

00:25:59Here, I will write it down for you with my address.

00:26:02I live with Katya, who is ill.

00:26:06That makes me very sad.

00:26:07Ah, I understand.

00:26:09But I can forget it here.

00:26:11Every day I come to the Luxembourg Gardens or the Latin Quarter.

00:26:15I love youth, you see.

00:26:17Mumparnasse is very changed since I first knew it.

00:26:21That was just after the war.

00:26:24As you love youth so much, that'll give you something to think about.

00:26:28You came here just after the war?

00:26:30Yes, and I lived here up to five years ago.

00:26:33Then I went back to England.

00:26:35Yes, it must be very changed.

00:26:38I think you're getting cold, madame.

00:26:41Would you like to go to a pâtisserie and have a cup of chocolate?

00:26:44I'd much rather go to a cafe and have a drink.

00:26:46I've made no mistake this time, and we're in the neutral cafe.

00:26:55Do you know what I think about you?

00:26:58No.

00:26:58I think you are very lonely.

00:27:02I know, because for a long time I was lonely myself.

00:27:06I became so that I hated people, and I didn't want to see anyone.

00:27:10And then one day I thought, no, this is not the way.

00:27:13So now I go about a lot, meet a lot of friends.

00:27:16I'm never alone.

00:27:17And now I'm much happier.

00:27:20Well, that sounds pretty easy.

00:27:21I must try it when I get back to London.

00:27:23I liked your friend the other night.

00:27:27I have many friends.

00:27:29I will introduce you to some of them if you like.

00:27:31And you think they'd like me?

00:27:33Absolutely, yes.

00:27:35There's a man I think you'd like.

00:27:37Serge, he's a painter.

00:27:38He's always happy.

00:27:40He talks to everyone.

00:27:42Do you like art?

00:27:43I used to know a lot of artists.

00:27:45Good.

00:27:45Then you'll like Serge.

00:27:47Come along and meet him now.

00:27:48Not this afternoon.

00:27:50I've promised myself I'll buy a new hat.

00:27:53We'll meet here tomorrow at 4.

00:27:57I leave him sitting there in his long black overcoat

00:28:00and go to the Rue Vavin.

00:28:03There are at least 10 milliner shops in this street

00:28:06and I look in the window of the first one.

00:28:09There is a customer inside.

00:28:12Her hair half-dyed, half-gray is very disheveled.

00:28:16As I watch, she puts on a hat,

00:28:19makes a face at herself in the glass

00:28:20and takes it off quickly.

00:28:23Her expression is terrible.

00:28:26Hungry, despairing, hopeful, quite crazy.

00:28:31Watching her,

00:28:32am I watching myself as I shall become?

00:28:35In five years' time, in six years,

00:28:37shall I be like that?

00:28:38I go into the last but one shop

00:28:42and hope to strike lucky.

00:28:44May I help, madame?

00:28:45I hope so.

00:28:47Perhaps.

00:28:48The hats now are very difficult.

00:28:51All my clients say that the hats now are very difficult to wear.

00:28:55But I will show madame some.

00:28:57May I take madame's hat?

00:28:59I think no.

00:29:02I am sure I shall manage to suit, madame.

00:29:06Now, this hat is...

00:29:08My God, not that one.

00:29:09I can't stand velour.

00:29:11Oh.

00:29:11Now, this will please madame.

00:29:16I don't think so.

00:29:18What about that one with the little grey veil?

00:29:20Well, try this.

00:29:22It's very special.

00:29:25Now, there we are.

00:29:29You know, I'm bewildered.

00:29:32Please, tell me which one I should have.

00:29:35The first one I showed you.

00:29:37Oh, never that one.

00:29:38Hmm.

00:29:39Then perhaps this one madame is wearing.

00:29:43I don't want to insist, but...

00:29:46Yes, that is your hat.

00:29:49I'm not sure.

00:29:52Walk up and down the room in it.

00:29:54See whether you feel happy in it.

00:29:56See whether you get accustomed to it.

00:29:59It is quite dark outside,

00:30:02and we are alone in the shop,

00:30:04celebrating this extraordinary ritual.

00:30:07I very seldom insist,

00:30:10but I'm sure that when you have got accustomed to that hat,

00:30:14you won't regret it.

00:30:15You'll realise that it's your hat.

00:30:18I don't like it very much,

00:30:20but it seems to be the only one.

00:30:22Remember, it must be worn forward

00:30:25and very much on one side.

00:30:29Like so.

00:30:34I'll wear it now.

00:30:36Thank you, madame.

00:30:38All the hats now are very difficult.

00:30:42Bonsoir, madame.

00:30:43I feel saner and happier after this

00:30:49and have a large meal

00:30:51watching the effect of the hat

00:30:52on the other people in the room.

00:30:54Nobody stares at me,

00:30:55which I think is a good sign.

00:30:57When I go out into the Place de L'Odéon,

00:31:00I'm feeling happy,

00:31:01what with my new hat

00:31:02and the meal

00:31:03and the wine

00:31:03and the brandy.

00:31:05Where can I go?

00:31:07Not the dome.

00:31:09I'll avoid the damn dome.

00:31:11And, of course,

00:31:12it's to the dome I go.

00:31:15I have a drink

00:31:16and leave.

00:31:17Good.

00:31:18Escaped

00:31:19and another day seen through.

00:31:21I'm not too dangerous.

00:31:23Now get safely back to the hotel.

00:31:26Excuse me,

00:31:26but can I speak to you?

00:31:27I think you speak English.

00:31:29I am English.

00:31:30Please,

00:31:31couldn't we go to a cafe and talk?

00:31:33Of course.

00:31:34Why not?

00:31:36Well,

00:31:36where shall we go?

00:31:38You see,

00:31:39I don't know Paris well.

00:31:39I only arrived last night.

00:31:41Oh?

00:31:43This looks like a nice cafe.

00:31:45Oh,

00:31:45it's the Closerie des Lilas.

00:31:46Can we go in here?

00:31:48All right,

00:31:48but it's very full.

00:31:50Let's sit on the terrace.

00:31:52All right.

00:31:55You'll have to fetch a waiter.

00:31:57They don't come out here at this time.

00:31:58Right.

00:31:59A, um...

00:31:59A brandy, please.

00:32:03Oh,

00:32:04I remember this one.

00:32:06He was sitting at a table

00:32:07in the opposite corner to me

00:32:08at the dome.

00:32:10The damn dome.

00:32:14I've got it.

00:32:16Oh, Lord.

00:32:18Do I really look like a wealthy dame

00:32:20trotting around Montparnasse

00:32:21in the hope of...

00:32:22After all the trouble I've gone to,

00:32:25is that what I look like?

00:32:27I suppose I do.

00:32:30Shall I tell him to go to hell?

00:32:33But after all,

00:32:34this is where I might be able

00:32:36to get some of my own back.

00:32:37Here we are.

00:32:42Cheers.

00:32:43Good luck.

00:32:47Have you ever felt like this?

00:32:50As if you can't bear anymore.

00:32:52As if you must speak to someone.

00:32:54As if you must tell someone everything

00:32:55or else you'll die.

00:32:56I can imagine it.

00:32:58He's going to say his piece.

00:33:00I've done this so often myself

00:33:02that it's amusing

00:33:03to watch someone else doing it.

00:33:05But why do you want to talk to me?

00:33:08Because I think he won't betray me.

00:33:10Of course I won't betray you.

00:33:11Why should I betray you?

00:33:12No, indeed.

00:33:15Why?

00:33:17Very nice laugh.

00:33:18Very nice indeed.

00:33:20Beautiful teeth.

00:33:21Yes, I know.

00:33:23I am what is called in French

00:33:24Mauvais Garçon.

00:33:25But I like them.

00:33:26I like Mauvais Garçon.

00:33:28I got into bad trouble at home.

00:33:30I ran away.

00:33:32Shall we have another drink?

00:33:33No, it's too cold.

00:33:35I can't stay on this damn terrace any longer.

00:33:37Let's go somewhere else.

00:33:38I must talk to you.

00:33:39All right.

00:33:42But my dear friend,

00:33:43I don't know what you think I can do.

00:33:45People who are in trouble

00:33:46want someone with money to help them.

00:33:49And I haven't got any money.

00:33:50But it isn't money I want.

00:33:53What I hoped was

00:33:54that we could go somewhere

00:33:56where we could be quite alone.

00:33:59I want to put my head on your breast

00:34:00and put my arms around you

00:34:02and tell you everything.

00:34:03I'll say this for him.

00:34:05He's really rather good at this.

00:34:06I could die for that.

00:34:07A woman who would put her arms around me

00:34:09and to whom I could tell everything.

00:34:11Couldn't we go somewhere like that?

00:34:12No, we can't.

00:34:13Impossible.

00:34:14Well, if you won't do that,

00:34:18I thought perhaps

00:34:19you could help me with my papers.

00:34:20You see, I have no passport.

00:34:22The slightest accident

00:34:22and I'm finished.

00:34:24And you think I can help you

00:34:25get a passport?

00:34:26Lay your head on my breast

00:34:28while I get your passport.

00:34:30This must be one of my better nights.

00:34:33Now, where shall we go?

00:34:34I take him to my neutral cafe

00:34:36and see him for the first time

00:34:38in a bright light.

00:34:40He doesn't look like a gigolo.

00:34:41Well, his hair is rather untidy,

00:34:44but nice hair.

00:34:46You know, the barman,

00:34:47he is quite sure we love each other

00:34:50and are going to be very happy tonight.

00:34:52He is envying us.

00:34:54Yes, I expect he'll stay awake

00:34:55all night thinking of it.

00:34:57Like how he will.

00:34:58I understand why you come here.

00:35:02I'm not very fond of people either.

00:35:04I know exactly what you want.

00:35:06Someone very rich

00:35:07and very chic.

00:35:08Yes, that would just suit me.

00:35:09And beautiful.

00:35:10But my dear,

00:35:10you're not going to find that

00:35:11at the Dome.

00:35:12Well, where shall I go then?

00:35:13Where shall I find all that?

00:35:14You could try the Ritz Bar.

00:35:16I can't go there.

00:35:17I'm staying at an awful hotel.

00:35:21I want to find a flat or a studio.

00:35:24A studio?

00:35:25I think I can get you

00:35:26just the place you want.

00:35:27You said you'd only got to Paris last night.

00:35:30Why should that prevent me

00:35:31from getting you what you want?

00:35:33Let it pass, dearie.

00:35:34Let it pass.

00:35:35Can I take you back to your hotel?

00:35:37No, you can't.

00:35:38But let's walk a little.

00:35:40We'll have one more drink.

00:35:48You see, everywhere's shut.

00:35:50Then I must kiss you in the street.

00:35:52Isn't it a bit sudden

00:35:53to start doing this?

00:35:54It's completely mad.

00:35:55But walking along with you,

00:35:56I have the feeling

00:35:56that I'm with a...

00:35:58With a beautiful young girl?

00:36:01No.

00:36:02With a child.

00:36:03You're hallucinating.

00:36:06Oh, this is it.

00:36:07My hotel.

00:36:08Can I come up to your room?

00:36:09No, you can't.

00:36:11I could come back

00:36:12in a little while

00:36:12and then come up and see you.

00:36:13No, don't come here.

00:36:15I should be awfully vexed

00:36:17if you come here.

00:36:17What about the hotel next door?

00:36:18Perhaps I could get a room there?

00:36:20No, I've told you.

00:36:21Nothing doing?

00:36:22Nothing doing.

00:36:25Well, how do I get

00:36:27to the Boulevard Saint-Michel?

00:36:28He's certainly keeping up

00:36:29the pose of being

00:36:30a stranger to Paris well.

00:36:33I have just undressed

00:36:34when the patron

00:36:35comes hammering on the door.

00:36:37You're wanted on the telephone.

00:36:39I'm coming.

00:36:39It's him, of course.

00:36:43I should never have

00:36:44given him my number.

00:36:45I bet he's thought

00:36:46of a new scheme

00:36:46to get some money out of me.

00:36:48Venus and the bitch goddess.

00:36:49Hello?

00:36:56Hello?

00:36:59There's nobody here.

00:37:00It's dead.

00:37:01There was a monsieur.

00:37:03Well, there was a monsieur,

00:37:04but the monsieur has gone.

00:37:07There was more than one monsieur,

00:37:09but they've all gone.

00:37:11What an assortment.

00:37:13One of every kind.

00:37:15I'll lie in bed

00:37:16all day tomorrow,

00:37:17pull the curtains,

00:37:18and shut the damn world out.

00:37:21All the same,

00:37:22at four o'clock,

00:37:23I meet Delmar,

00:37:24as I had said.

00:37:26It's not far.

00:37:27We can walk from here.

00:37:28How far?

00:37:29Not far.

00:37:31My friend can't be there,

00:37:32but he says

00:37:33I can show you his pictures.

00:37:35I am surrounded

00:37:38by the pictures.

00:37:40Now the room expands

00:37:41and the iron band

00:37:42around my heart loosens.

00:37:45The miracle has happened.

00:37:47I am happy.

00:37:49Perhaps one day

00:37:50I'll live in a room

00:37:52as empty as this,

00:37:53nothing in it

00:37:54but the bed,

00:37:55the stove,

00:37:55and the looking glass,

00:37:57and outside Paris.

00:37:59And the dreams

00:38:01that you have

00:38:01alone in an empty room,

00:38:04waiting for the door

00:38:05that will open,

00:38:06the thing

00:38:07that is bound to happen.

00:38:10I have focused

00:38:11on a picture

00:38:12of an old Jew

00:38:13with a red nose

00:38:14playing the banjo.

00:38:15This one.

00:38:16What?

00:38:16I want to buy this one.

00:38:19The price of this one

00:38:21is 600 francs.

00:38:23If you think it's too much,

00:38:24we'll arrange some other price.

00:38:26I don't think it's at all too much,

00:38:28but I haven't got the money.

00:38:29Oh.

00:38:30I can let you have

00:38:31the money tonight.

00:38:32I'll meet you.

00:38:34The couple, lad?

00:38:35Half past ten.

00:38:37At ten twenty-five,

00:38:38still fairly exalted,

00:38:40I'm at the Capillard.

00:38:42For half an hour,

00:38:43nobody turns up.

00:38:45Good.

00:38:46That's what you get

00:38:46for being exalted,

00:38:47my girl.

00:38:49But the protective armour

00:38:50is functioning all right.

00:38:52I don't mind.

00:38:52I'm worrying about

00:38:55how to give this pain

00:38:56to his money

00:38:56when Delmar

00:38:58does turn up.

00:38:59I am so sorry.

00:39:02I went to the flat

00:39:03to collect Serge,

00:39:04but he wasn't there.

00:39:06I waited,

00:39:06but he never showed up.

00:39:07That's all right.

00:39:10Here's the money.

00:39:11Is there a closing

00:39:14of the eyes,

00:39:15a slightly relieved

00:39:16expression on his face?

00:39:18Yes,

00:39:19I think so.

00:39:20And why not?

00:39:21Have a heart.

00:39:23Why not?

00:39:24Serge is quite mad,

00:39:25you know.

00:39:26You would have liked him.

00:39:27Monsieur Dan?

00:39:29Will you have a cup of coffee?

00:39:30No,

00:39:30I'll have a brandy,

00:39:31please.

00:39:32And a coffee

00:39:33and brandy for me.

00:39:34Monsieur Dan?

00:39:34Can we meet again?

00:39:38Well,

00:39:38I'll try,

00:39:39but I'm very busy.

00:39:41I'm leaving Paris next week,

00:39:42sooner than I thought.

00:39:44Well,

00:39:44let me know when

00:39:45and I'll come to the Gardenault.

00:39:46See you off,

00:39:47if you like.

00:39:49Yes,

00:39:49please do.

00:39:51It'll be so nice

00:39:52if you would.

00:39:53It's sad to go away

00:39:54from a place

00:39:55with nobody

00:39:55to tell you goodbye.

00:39:59When I'm back

00:40:00in my room,

00:40:01I start thinking

00:40:01about whether he will

00:40:02get a percentage

00:40:03on the 600 francs.

00:40:05Or perhaps Serge

00:40:06won't get the money at all.

00:40:08The old man

00:40:09with his banjo

00:40:09and I laugh about this

00:40:10all the time

00:40:11I'm undressing.

00:40:13But this damn room

00:40:14is saturated

00:40:15with the past.

00:40:16It's all the rooms

00:40:17I've slept in,

00:40:18all the streets

00:40:19I've ever walked in.

00:40:21Now the whole thing

00:40:22moves in an ordered

00:40:23procession

00:40:24past my eyes.

00:40:25Room,

00:40:26streets,

00:40:27room,

00:40:27streets.

00:40:29Well,

00:40:30London.

00:40:31It has a fine sound,

00:40:32but for me

00:40:32it was a little room

00:40:33smelling stint.

00:40:34Duffy,

00:40:35with my stockings

00:40:35hanging to dry

00:40:36in front of the gas fire.

00:40:38They changed

00:40:39one sheet at a time

00:40:40so that the bed

00:40:41was never quite clean

00:40:42and never quite dirty.

00:40:44A room in a Dutch town hall

00:40:46where Eno and I

00:40:47were married.

00:40:49The start of another saga.

00:40:51He pinned a bunch

00:40:52of lily of the valley

00:40:53to my coat

00:40:54and afterwards

00:40:55and afterwards

00:40:55we went for a drink.

00:40:58What an idiotic

00:41:00business that was.

00:41:01You won't ever leave me,

00:41:02will you?

00:41:03Oh, come on.

00:41:04A little gaiety here.

00:41:06Have some more drinks.

00:41:08Then we can go

00:41:09to our hotel.

00:41:11A clean room

00:41:12in Amsterdam

00:41:13with rose-colored

00:41:14wallpaper.

00:41:15Oh, champagne.

00:41:17Come here.

00:41:18You mustn't worry

00:41:19about money.

00:41:21I can always get some.

00:41:23When we get to Paris

00:41:24it'll be all right.

00:41:25I can sell some of my songs there.

00:41:27Have we still got

00:41:28the 15 pounds?

00:41:29Gone,

00:41:30I'm afraid.

00:41:30But we can sell

00:41:31our spare clothes.

00:41:32That'll get us

00:41:32as far as Brussels.

00:41:34I know someone in Brussels

00:41:34we can borrow from.

00:41:35My beautiful life

00:41:37in front of me

00:41:38opening out

00:41:39like a fan

00:41:40in my hand.

00:41:42A long, narrow,

00:41:43hot Belgian room

00:41:44with a long, narrow window.

00:41:48I think I'll be able

00:41:50to raise some money.

00:41:51I'll go and see that fellow.

00:41:53Wait in the room for me

00:41:54and don't go out.

00:41:55I know.

00:41:55I don't trust the concierge.

00:41:57I won't be long.

00:41:59I hadn't remembered

00:42:00how glassy

00:42:01Mr. Lawson's eyes were.

00:42:04I'm afraid

00:42:05you don't remember me.

00:42:07You took me to dinner

00:42:08in London

00:42:08and then

00:42:09on the boat to Holland

00:42:10you gave me

00:42:11your address

00:42:12in Brussels.

00:42:14You said

00:42:15to look you up.

00:42:18I have a little problem.

00:42:21I'm hating him

00:42:22more than I have ever

00:42:23hated anyone

00:42:24in my life.

00:42:26Why did you go out

00:42:27when I told you not to?

00:42:28I'd managed to borrow

00:42:29a hundred francs.

00:42:31Neither got him from.

00:42:33It's a woman

00:42:34I used to know

00:42:35very well in London.

00:42:36I knew she lived here

00:42:37so I went and saw her.

00:42:39Did your friend

00:42:40give you anything?

00:42:40And this woman

00:42:41gave you a hundred francs

00:42:42just like that.

00:42:44Oh, shut up about it.

00:42:45Don't cry.

00:42:47If you cry

00:42:48I shall go mad.

00:42:49You'll see

00:42:52when we get to Paris

00:42:53it'll be all right.

00:42:55I know somewhere

00:42:56we can get credit.

00:42:59I can see myself

00:43:00in the mirror.

00:43:01I look thin

00:43:02too thin

00:43:03and dirty

00:43:04and haggard

00:43:05with that expression

00:43:06that you get in your eyes

00:43:07when you are very tired

00:43:08and everything

00:43:09is like a dream

00:43:09and you are starting

00:43:10to know what things

00:43:11are like underneath

00:43:12what people say they are.

00:43:14I hadn't bargained

00:43:15for this.

00:43:16Shabby clothes

00:43:18worn out shoes

00:43:19your hair getting

00:43:20straight and lanky

00:43:21the way people

00:43:22look at you.

00:43:24I didn't think

00:43:24it would be like this.

00:43:27If I'm going to look

00:43:28like that

00:43:28there's not a hope.

00:43:30Fancy having to go

00:43:31to Paris

00:43:32looking like that.

00:43:34We come out

00:43:35of the metro

00:43:35and Enno tells me

00:43:36to wait in a cafe

00:43:37until he comes back.

00:43:38I wait three and a half hours

00:43:41with a single cup of coffee.

00:43:44I have got a room

00:43:46in the Rue La Martine.

00:43:48This is Alfred.

00:43:49Madame Wilson.

00:43:50Alfred, order us

00:43:51some ravioli.

00:43:51Yes, yes.

00:43:52All right.

00:43:53Well, he must be kind.

00:43:55He looks nice.

00:43:55Yes, he is nice.

00:43:57We'll have a meal

00:43:57then we can get to the room.

00:44:00It was on the fourth floor

00:44:02with a big bed

00:44:03covered in a red eidodon.

00:44:05Everything was red

00:44:06in that room

00:44:07except for the bugs

00:44:09crawling slowly up the wall.

00:44:12It still smelt of sulphur

00:44:13for months

00:44:14after the fumigation.

00:44:16It's very warm today.

00:44:19But it's not good

00:44:19for Madame

00:44:20to sit in a draught.

00:44:21I'll shut the door.

00:44:22Alfred, leave the door open.

00:44:25It'll help clear the smell.

00:44:26I'm not in a draught, really.

00:44:28Ah, get some air

00:44:29in this damn place.

00:44:32It's a good idea, Madame,

00:44:34giving English lessons.

00:44:35You get two or three

00:44:36good bourgeois

00:44:37to pay up

00:44:38and then clover.

00:44:39We'll see.

00:44:40Mind you,

00:44:41if I were married,

00:44:42I wouldn't let my wife

00:44:42work for another man.

00:44:44I should think

00:44:45it a terrible disgrace

00:44:46to let my wife

00:44:46work for any other man

00:44:47but me.

00:44:48Eva, don't ask

00:44:49what you are getting

00:44:49on my case.

00:44:51What are you trying to say?

00:44:53Right.

00:44:54All right.

00:44:55I'll push off.

00:44:57I can see you're

00:44:58in a bad temper.

00:44:59I'll go.

00:44:59Oh, don't go.

00:45:00You shut up,

00:45:02Madame.

00:45:02What are you laughing at?

00:45:07It's the way

00:45:08he always bows

00:45:09when he says,

00:45:10Madame.

00:45:11It makes me laugh.

00:45:14I'm going out

00:45:14to buy something to eat.

00:45:16Already?

00:45:17Oh, it's too early.

00:45:18Hello, please.

00:45:19Stay with me.

00:45:21Come here

00:45:21and kiss me.

00:45:24What is the point?

00:45:26You don't know

00:45:26how to make love.

00:45:28You're too passive,

00:45:29too lazy.

00:45:30You bore me.

00:45:33I've had enough of you

00:45:34and this damn place.

00:45:38Hello.

00:45:40He left me alone

00:45:41with 20 francs

00:45:43and the knowledge

00:45:43that I was going

00:45:44to have a baby.

00:45:46On the third day,

00:45:47I went out

00:45:47and bought some milk,

00:45:48bread and four oranges,

00:45:50hiding them

00:45:51in case the patron

00:45:51sees them.

00:45:53They don't like you

00:45:54to eat in the rawns,

00:45:55especially not

00:45:56when they know

00:45:56you haven't got a man

00:45:57to pay the bill.

00:46:00Sasha,

00:46:00I have got

00:46:01some money.

00:46:03Hello, darling,

00:46:04where have you been?

00:46:04God, it's hot.

00:46:06Peel me one

00:46:06of those oranges.

00:46:07I know.

00:46:08I have got

00:46:082,000 francs.

00:46:12I told you

00:46:13money circulates

00:46:14and it's our turn now.

00:46:16And I've got some wine.

00:46:18It's cool.

00:46:19I've kept it out

00:46:19of the sun.

00:46:20We will lie down

00:46:22and drink it

00:46:22while I lay my head

00:46:24on your silver breast.

00:46:25I told you

00:46:28it would be all right.

00:46:30Oh, things are going well.

00:46:32We've settled down

00:46:34in the great red rum.

00:46:36Eno sold two articles

00:46:37and sings every night

00:46:38at the La Panagile.

00:46:40I have three English pupils

00:46:41and people give up

00:46:42their seats for me

00:46:43in buses.

00:46:44I am a sacred woman.

00:46:47All the same,

00:46:47I'm not so mad

00:46:48about going out

00:46:49and I spend long hours

00:46:50by myself.

00:46:52I've got hold

00:46:52of some books

00:46:53that I like

00:46:53and I read most of the time

00:46:55and I'm happy.

00:46:56People come in

00:46:57and out of the room

00:46:58all the time now.

00:46:59They're friends of Eno's.

00:47:01He's a great success.

00:47:03I watch them

00:47:04and I never quite know them

00:47:06but one of them,

00:47:07Lee's.

00:47:08I love Lee's.

00:47:09All my underclothes

00:47:10are handmade.

00:47:12Every stitch.

00:47:13I used to be a semestress

00:47:14but it was awful.

00:47:16My eyes hurt so much

00:47:17I could hardly open them.

00:47:18But now you sing

00:47:19in the cabaret.

00:47:20That's better.

00:47:21You sing English songs.

00:47:23But I don't speak

00:47:24any English.

00:47:25Would you teach me?

00:47:27I'm so stupid

00:47:28it'll be difficult.

00:47:30Is it true

00:47:30that English women

00:47:31never use a douche?

00:47:33I use one twice a day.

00:47:35The spaghetti's ready.

00:47:37Pour a semestress.

00:47:40Here you are.

00:47:43I love picnics.

00:47:45Don't they mind you

00:47:46cooking in the rooms?

00:47:47As long as we pay the rent

00:47:48they don't care.

00:47:51Mmm.

00:47:52Mmm.

00:47:53Hey, this is good.

00:47:57How are things

00:47:58at the cabaret?

00:47:59They won't renew

00:48:00the engagement.

00:48:01I know it.

00:48:03Oh, God,

00:48:04I wish there would be

00:48:04another war.

00:48:05Oh, Lee's.

00:48:06Don't say that.

00:48:07Yes, I do.

00:48:08I might have a bit of luck

00:48:09and get killed.

00:48:11I don't want to live anymore.

00:48:14Lee's.

00:48:15You'll get another job.

00:48:17No.

00:48:18I won't.

00:48:20And my eyes are too bad

00:48:21to go back to sewing.

00:48:23I'll have to go back

00:48:24to the country

00:48:25and live with my mother.

00:48:27She beats me all the time

00:48:28for anything,

00:48:29for nothing.

00:48:31And she used to say

00:48:32oh,

00:48:34bad things to me.

00:48:36She likes to make me cry.

00:48:37I'm finished.

00:48:40Oh, come on, Lee's.

00:48:42You've got a few more years,

00:48:44surely.

00:48:45Cheer up.

00:48:47No.

00:48:48I've had enough.

00:48:50Already.

00:48:51I've had quite enough.

00:48:54Poor little Lee's.

00:48:58Oh, my God.

00:49:00This is gay.

00:49:03I've got

00:49:04some more astis romantic

00:49:06and I join the way.

00:49:09Three

00:49:09on a bed.

00:49:13Soon to be four.

00:49:14Then the house

00:49:18on the boulevard magenta.

00:49:20Enno has arranged

00:49:21everything.

00:49:22It will be all right.

00:49:24There will be a tisane

00:49:25of orange flowers.

00:49:26But it will be soon.

00:49:30The doctor said

00:49:31to come straight here.

00:49:32Oh, doctors.

00:49:33They know nothing.

00:49:35You won't be needing

00:49:35the hospital for some hours.

00:49:37Anyway,

00:49:37your room's not ready.

00:49:39Come back at five.

00:49:41That's seven hours

00:49:42to walk and sit

00:49:43in the parks.

00:49:44No taxis.

00:49:45What if my baby

00:49:46was born in a taxi?

00:49:48Then I come back

00:49:49at five

00:49:49as I've been told.

00:49:51Everything

00:49:51as I've been told.

00:49:54I'm not seeing

00:49:55too well.

00:49:57Nothing to worry about.

00:49:59Your room's all ready.

00:50:01Can I lie down now?

00:50:03Now have courage.

00:50:05All will be well.

00:50:07Get undressed

00:50:07and try to sleep.

00:50:11It is a long

00:50:12interminable night.

00:50:14But I do not speak.

00:50:15It is a long time

00:50:17until I speak.

00:50:19Oh, chloroform.

00:50:21Please.

00:50:22There must be

00:50:23a doctor for chloroform.

00:50:25And there are no doctors here.

00:50:26Now,

00:50:27courage,

00:50:28little one.

00:50:29Courage.

00:50:30No more courage.

00:50:34Chloroform,

00:50:34for goodness sake.

00:50:36You're not trying.

00:50:37And I don't approve

00:50:38of chloroform.

00:50:39It's for rich people.

00:50:40They don't have it here.

00:50:41Now,

00:50:42push.

00:50:42Shh.

00:50:43afterwards, I couldn't sleep.

00:50:50Afterwards, I couldn't sleep.

00:50:52My mouth dried up.

00:50:54My breasts dried up.

00:50:56Money.

00:50:57Money.

00:50:59Why can't you sleep?

00:51:01This will never do.

00:51:04Does he cry,

00:51:05the little one?

00:51:05No, he hardly cries at all.

00:51:08Is it a bad sign

00:51:09that he doesn't cry?

00:51:10No, not at all.

00:51:12A beautiful baby.

00:51:14Everything will come

00:51:15right for you.

00:51:16You'll see.

00:51:18I'll send you a tisane

00:51:19of orange flower water.

00:51:21And tonight,

00:51:21you must sleep.

00:51:23But I can't feed

00:51:24my baby.

00:51:25I'll take him

00:51:26for some powdered milk.

00:51:27And all will be well.

00:51:29my beautiful son.

00:51:47Now, you see?

00:51:49You slept.

00:51:50And I'm going to arrange

00:51:52that you will be

00:51:52just like you were before.

00:51:55There'll be no traces.

00:51:57No marks.

00:51:58Nothing.

00:51:59You're pulling that

00:52:03very tight.

00:52:05It hurts a bit.

00:52:07The bandages must be tight.

00:52:09If there are to be no marks.

00:52:11I do this better

00:52:13than anyone in Paris.

00:52:15How is my baby?

00:52:17Usually this is an extra.

00:52:19Usually I charge

00:52:20a great deal for this.

00:52:23I promise you,

00:52:24when you take them off,

00:52:26there will be not one line,

00:52:27not one wrinkle,

00:52:28not one crease.

00:52:31And five weeks later,

00:52:33there I am,

00:52:34with not one line,

00:52:35not one wrinkle,

00:52:37not one crease.

00:52:38And there he is,

00:52:40lying with a ticket

00:52:42around his wrist,

00:52:42because he died in a hospital.

00:52:47When I got back to the hotel,

00:52:49I was very tired.

00:52:51I kept thinking of the dress

00:52:52he had on,

00:52:53so pretty.

00:52:55It'll get spoiled,

00:52:56I thought.

00:52:56everything,

00:52:58everything,

00:52:58all spoiled.

00:53:01A room,

00:53:02a nice room,

00:53:05a beautiful room,

00:53:07a beautiful room with bath.

00:53:10Swing high,

00:53:11swing low,

00:53:12swing to and fro.

00:53:14This happened,

00:53:16and that happened.

00:53:17Eno lost his place

00:53:18at the club.

00:53:20I can get another job

00:53:21in Holland,

00:53:23and get enough money

00:53:24to come back

00:53:25and set ourselves up properly.

00:53:28Yes,

00:53:28Eno.

00:53:30Oh,

00:53:30don't cry,

00:53:31my lovely Eno.

00:53:32I'm not crying.

00:53:35I'll write.

00:53:37Goodbye,

00:53:37Eno.

00:53:38Au revoir,

00:53:40Sacha.

00:53:43Goodbye, Eno.

00:53:56I have to move

00:53:57from the big red room

00:53:58to a hotel

00:53:59on the Place de la Madeleine.

00:54:01I write to England

00:54:02and try to borrow money.

00:54:04I start eating

00:54:04at a convent nearby

00:54:05where the nuns

00:54:06supply very cheap meals.

00:54:08for destitute girls.

00:54:11But,

00:54:11there's always tomorrow,

00:54:13and that was

00:54:14many yesterdays ago.

00:54:16I have my new hat

00:54:18and my Jew

00:54:19with his banjo.

00:54:22My key, please.

00:54:23There's a note for you.

00:54:25From whom?

00:54:25I don't know.

00:54:27A monsieur,

00:54:28an English monsieur.

00:54:30It's from Rene,

00:54:32my gigolo friend.

00:54:33Just dropped in to see.

00:54:35Everything goes well with me.

00:54:37I have had enormous luck.

00:54:40I'm leaving Paris tomorrow

00:54:42or the day after.

00:54:43So sorry I missed you.

00:54:45Thank you, madame.

00:54:47As I get to my landing,

00:54:49there is my neighbor

00:54:51in a white dressing gown.

00:54:53Cow!

00:54:53You dirty cow!

00:54:56Oh, go away!

00:54:58This is...

00:54:59I don't know

00:55:01English winning!

00:55:10Oh, this is too much.

00:55:13Now, look here.

00:55:14Oh, Rene.

00:55:16Oh, it's you.

00:55:17I'm so sorry.

00:55:18I came before,

00:55:18didn't I tell you?

00:55:21But what's the matter?

00:55:22Why are you looking so frightened?

00:55:23I'm not.

00:55:23I mean, I'm not frightened.

00:55:25I'm, uh, well vexed.

00:55:27Oh, you are looking frightened.

00:55:29Who are you frightened of?

00:55:30Me?

00:55:30I'm flattered.

00:55:31I thought it was the man next door.

00:55:32He gets on my nerves.

00:55:34He was shouting things at me.

00:55:35He was shouting at you.

00:55:36I'll punch his face for you.

00:55:37Certainly not.

00:55:38Not on any account.

00:55:39I mean it.

00:55:39I will if you wish.

00:55:40I can be useful in more ways than one.

00:55:41Oh, good God, no.

00:55:42Don't do anything of the sort.

00:55:44Well, perhaps better not.

00:55:46I'd better not get into a row

00:55:48before I give her papers.

00:55:49But I'm getting them tomorrow,

00:55:50so it'll be all right.

00:55:54I like this room.

00:55:55It's a nice room.

00:55:56It's a charming room.

00:55:57Nothing but beds.

00:55:59Yeah, can we sit down?

00:56:00There are only two beds.

00:56:01It's hardly...

00:56:02Ah, yes.

00:56:03That's what I see.

00:56:03Only two.

00:56:05But somehow it gives the impression

00:56:06that it's full of beds.

00:56:09I waited up here for you

00:56:10nearly an hour this afternoon.

00:56:11I told the patron

00:56:12I was a friend of yours from London.

00:56:13I spoke English to her,

00:56:14so she asked me

00:56:15if I'd like to wait in your room.

00:56:16That explains my neighbour.

00:56:18Sorry?

00:56:18He called me a dirty cow.

00:56:21You see, I told you not to come up here,

00:56:22and you said you wouldn't.

00:56:24Why?

00:56:25The woman downstairs is so nice.

00:56:27I don't understand you.

00:56:28She doesn't mind in the least.

00:56:30You could have someone up in your room

00:56:31every hour,

00:56:32and she wouldn't mind.

00:56:34It's a shame to waste this room,

00:56:36this hotel.

00:56:38Very, very good to make love in,

00:56:41this room.

00:56:43Have you really been wasting it?

00:56:45I don't believe you have.

00:56:48Those eyes,

00:56:49those deep shadows

00:56:50under your sad eyes,

00:56:52what about them?

00:56:53Not what you think at all.

00:56:56I don't sleep well,

00:56:57and I take a lot of luminol

00:56:59to make me sleep.

00:57:00Poor, poor girl.

00:57:03And you won't even let me try

00:57:04to do anything about it.

00:57:05Please don't.

00:57:06Don't laugh at me.

00:57:09I came to ask

00:57:10if you'd have an aperitif

00:57:12with me this evening.

00:57:12Please do.

00:57:13I should be very disappointed

00:57:14if you can't.

00:57:16All right.

00:57:17I'll be at the Closerie des Lilas

00:57:18at half past seven.

00:57:19I'm glad you've been lucky.

00:57:23I've met an American.

00:57:24Beautiful and very, very rich.

00:57:27How do you say?

00:57:28Busting with it.

00:57:29Lousy with it.

00:57:30Yes, lousy with it.

00:57:32Did you meet her at the Ritz Bar?

00:57:33No.

00:57:34Don't tell me you met her

00:57:35at the Dome.

00:57:35Not the Dome.

00:57:36The Danish place, you know.

00:57:37Well, we were talking,

00:57:38and she said she wanted

00:57:39to go on somewhere else to dance.

00:57:40I said, quite frankly,

00:57:41I was quite frank, you know.

00:57:43I'll bet you were.

00:57:44I told her there was nothing

00:57:44I'd like better.

00:57:45Nothing.

00:57:46But, unfortunately,

00:57:47at the moment,

00:57:48I was penniless.

00:57:49After that, it was all right.

00:57:51She's staying at the Maurice.

00:57:53It's been a great success.

00:57:55Well, it's nice of you

00:57:56to come all the way over here

00:57:57to tell me about it.

00:57:58That's just it.

00:58:00Perhaps this is something

00:58:01you wouldn't understand,

00:58:02but when you're living like I do,

00:58:04you get very superstitious,

00:58:05and I think you bring me luck.

00:58:07Remember that evening

00:58:08when I met you,

00:58:08I was depressed,

00:58:09very discouraged.

00:58:10You brought me luck.

00:58:11Oh, I've never thought

00:58:12of myself that way before.

00:58:13Let me kiss your hand for luck.

00:58:16Oh, pretty hand.

00:58:17No good.

00:58:20Only worth about 50 francs,

00:58:22if that.

00:58:23Your hand?

00:58:23You weren't looking at my hand.

00:58:25You were looking at my rings.

00:58:27Oh, how suspicious you are.

00:58:30But you will come this evening,

00:58:31won't you?

00:58:33Yes, I'll be there.

00:58:35On the terrace

00:58:36where we talked the other night.

00:58:38See you then,

00:58:38my lucky one.

00:58:39Here I am,

00:58:44prancing about and smirking.

00:58:46I tell myself,

00:58:48I have

00:58:49sixteen hundred francs left.

00:58:53Enough to pay for the dress

00:58:55I chose today,

00:58:56enough to pay my hotel bill,

00:58:58and the journey back to London.

00:59:00Say,

00:59:01four hundred francs over.

00:59:03Two hundred for a meal,

00:59:07if there is a meal,

00:59:09and fifty francs

00:59:10behind the mirror

00:59:10in my handbag

00:59:11for a taxi home

00:59:12in case we quarrel,

00:59:14or in case he turns nasty.

00:59:15Just call,

00:59:16hey, taxi,

00:59:18and you're out of everything.

00:59:20I arrive ten minutes late

00:59:21and glance round the terrace.

00:59:24Nobody there.

00:59:25Well, he's sure to be inside

00:59:27on such a cold night.

00:59:29No sign of him here, either.

00:59:31Waiter!

00:59:31Can you bring me a cinzano?

00:59:35Yes, madame.

00:59:36Is there anyone on the terrace?

00:59:38Oh, no.

00:59:39I don't think so.

00:59:40It's too cold tonight.

00:59:41Would you go and have a look?

00:59:43Very good, madame.

00:59:45Am I disappointed?

00:59:46Am I vexed?

00:59:48No, I'm quite calm.

00:59:50Also, quite confident.

00:59:52He's somewhere around.

00:59:54There's a very pretty girl

00:59:55sitting on one of the stools

00:59:57at the bar.

00:59:58More his meat, I'd think.

01:00:00So, here you are.

01:00:01I thought you'd stood me up.

01:00:03I bet you thought

01:00:03the world had come to an end.

01:00:05I bet you couldn't believe it.

01:00:06Well, no, I couldn't.

01:00:07But I was just beginning

01:00:08to believe it

01:00:08when the waiter came.

01:00:10I've been cursing you.

01:00:12You said where we talked

01:00:13the other night,

01:00:14and that's where I've been waiting.

01:00:15I'm frozen.

01:00:17I've had two panos

01:00:18to keep me warm,

01:00:18but I'm still cold.

01:00:19Feel my hands.

01:00:20Get waiter.

01:00:21Another pano.

01:00:22You see that girl

01:00:27getting off the bar store?

01:00:29Mm.

01:00:30She's very beautiful.

01:00:31Look at the way she walks,

01:00:32the movement of her hips.

01:00:35She's got a beautiful body

01:00:37under that dress.

01:00:38Why didn't you go after her

01:00:39and find out?

01:00:40I'd rather think

01:00:41that was the idea.

01:00:42No, no.

01:00:43It's you I want to talk to.

01:00:44That's what I'm here for.

01:00:46Go ahead.

01:00:47While we're having dinner.

01:00:49Um, about dinner.

01:00:51Let me pay for dinner.

01:00:54To be frank.

01:00:55As you always are.

01:00:56To be frank.

01:00:56When I've paid for this lot of drinks,

01:00:58I shan't have much money left.

01:00:59What?

01:01:00Haven't you got any money

01:01:01out of your American?

01:01:02Oh, no.

01:01:02Not yet.

01:01:03Not yet.

01:01:04When I ask her for something,

01:01:05it'll be quite something,

01:01:06but one mustn't do that too quickly.

01:01:08She must be ready.

01:01:09I think perhaps tomorrow

01:01:10she'll be ready.

01:01:13So, um,

01:01:14can you give me the money

01:01:15for dinner now

01:01:16instead of in the restaurant?

01:01:17I'd prefer that.

01:01:18I was going to, of course.

01:01:21Ah.

01:01:22200 francs?

01:01:24When you've settled up,

01:01:25dinner, drinks, taxes,

01:01:26there'll be about two francs left.

01:01:28I've worked it out.

01:01:30No one would ever think

01:01:31you'd never done this before.

01:01:32I don't know what there is

01:01:33about this man

01:01:34that makes me feel

01:01:35so natural and happy.

01:01:37Almost as if I were young.

01:01:39But I've never been young,

01:01:41really young.

01:01:43I've never played.

01:01:45I take him to the pig and lily.

01:01:47The English hunting scene

01:01:49should set him up for London.

01:01:50I'm going to make a fortune in London.

01:01:52Good for you.

01:01:53Now, you must tell me,

01:01:54which are the really chic nightclubs

01:01:56to go to in London?

01:01:57And how do I find

01:01:58a really good tailor?

01:01:59Do the good ones advertise?

01:02:00I don't know.

01:02:01I'm the wrong person

01:02:01to ask about any of this.

01:02:03Can you give a party in London,

01:02:04then?

01:02:05Introduce me to all your friends.

01:02:06I haven't any friends.

01:02:07It's too bad, too bad.

01:02:10Anyway, I hear

01:02:11half the men are homosexual,

01:02:12so the poor English women

01:02:13are just gasping for it.

01:02:15And if you go about it

01:02:16in the right way,

01:02:16they're prepared to pay for it.

01:02:17You're an optimistic idiot.

01:02:19After a lot of work,

01:02:20you'll probably get

01:02:21an electro-plated cigarette case

01:02:23with your initials on it.

01:02:25Oh, nonsense gold, at least.

01:02:28Now, is it true

01:02:29that English men make love

01:02:30with all their clothes on

01:02:31because they think

01:02:32it's more respectable that way?

01:02:33Yes, certainly.

01:02:34Fully dressed.

01:02:35They add, of course,

01:02:36a Macintosh.

01:02:36When the proprietor

01:02:40comes up with a coffee,

01:02:41he looks at me

01:02:42in a half-pitying way

01:02:43as if to say,

01:02:44really, I should have thought

01:02:45you'd have more sense than this.

01:02:47Well, I don't criticise you,

01:02:50so don't you criticise me.

01:02:52I've arranged everything.

01:02:54While I was waiting for you

01:02:55on the terrace,

01:02:56I asked the waiter

01:02:56to tell me a place

01:02:57I could take you to

01:02:58as you said you didn't want

01:02:58to go back to your hotel with me.

01:03:00He told me about

01:03:01a very good place

01:03:01on the boulevard on Raspari.

01:03:03My God, you asked the waiter.

01:03:05Yes, of course.

01:03:05Waiters always know

01:03:06that sort of thing.

01:03:07Well, there's someone else

01:03:08I won't be able

01:03:08to show my face in again.

01:03:10And then you say

01:03:11you're not a bourgeois.

01:03:12I didn't say that.

01:03:13You said it.

01:03:13Tomorrow, you must walk

01:03:14into the cafe

01:03:15and go to the same table

01:03:16on the terrace

01:03:17and order a drink.

01:03:17Tomorrow, mind you.

01:03:18Tomorrow never comes.

01:03:20I don't understand.

01:03:21Listen, I told you

01:03:22this from the start.

01:03:24There's nothing doing,

01:03:25so I go on about it.

01:03:26Oh, pity.

01:03:27It's a pity.

01:03:28It would have been so nice.

01:03:31He wouldn't have been

01:03:32disappointed in me.

01:03:34I like women,

01:03:35not just for that.

01:03:37I enjoy their company.

01:03:38It's easy for me

01:03:39to be sympathetic with women.

01:03:40I respect them

01:03:41and the way they handle

01:03:43all the problems

01:03:43they have in this world today.

01:03:46It can't be easy

01:03:47having self-respect.

01:03:48I understand that.

01:03:50Then you're worth

01:03:50your weight in gold

01:03:51cigarette cases.

01:03:52I only hope you get them.

01:03:54Let's go and have a drink

01:03:55somewhere.

01:03:56The bill, please.

01:03:57All right.

01:03:58A goodbye drink.

01:03:59Can we take a taxi?

01:03:59It's so cold tonight.

01:04:01Why don't you get

01:04:01your American

01:04:02to buy you an overcoat?

01:04:03No, I'm going to wait.

01:04:04I want to get my clothes

01:04:05in London.

01:04:06Oh, for God's sake.

01:04:07He's not going to start up again

01:04:08about the addresses

01:04:09of London Taylors.

01:04:10We sit side by side

01:04:19in the taxi

01:04:19not touching each other

01:04:21and I watch the streets

01:04:22through the window.

01:04:24Well, there you are

01:04:25Paris

01:04:26and this is the goodbye drink.

01:04:29We go into the Dermagot

01:04:30and I choose a table

01:04:32as far away

01:04:32from everybody else

01:04:33as possible.

01:04:35Suddenly I feel shy

01:04:36and self-conscious.

01:04:37God, this place

01:04:39makes me feel old.

01:04:40Oh, don't say that.

01:04:41Don't talk like that.

01:04:43You're not old

01:04:45but you have got to

01:04:46where you're afraid

01:04:47to be young.

01:04:49That's because you

01:04:50let people frighten you.

01:04:51They will always try

01:04:52to do that

01:04:52if not in one way

01:04:53then in another.

01:04:55Don't be afraid.

01:04:57Thanks for the good advice.

01:04:58I'll try to remember it.

01:05:00Now I'm ready

01:05:00for another brandy.

01:05:02Waiter, another brandy.

01:05:03You said if you drink

01:05:04too much you cry

01:05:04and I have a horror

01:05:05of people who cry

01:05:06when they're drunk.

01:05:07I don't feel a bit like that.

01:05:08Never happier in my life.

01:05:10No, I don't think

01:05:11you are going to cry.

01:05:13Don't be too long.

01:05:14Finish that

01:05:14and then we'll go.

01:05:15Where to?

01:05:16To your hotel

01:05:17or the Boulevard Raspi

01:05:18just as you like.

01:05:19But I don't like.

01:05:20Oh, you're such a stupid woman.

01:05:24Now look me in the eyes

01:05:25and say you don't want to.

01:05:26Of course I won't.

01:05:27Then why won't you?

01:05:29Something so unimportant.

01:05:31But it would be nice.

01:05:33At least tell me

01:05:34why you won't

01:05:35or is that too much to ask?

01:05:37Oh, no,

01:05:37it's not too much to ask.

01:05:40It's because I'm afraid.

01:05:42What on earth

01:05:43are you afraid of?

01:05:45You think I'll strangle you

01:05:46or cut your throat

01:05:47for that not-so-beautiful ring?

01:05:48No, no,

01:05:49nothing like that.

01:05:50Then perhaps you're afraid

01:05:51I'll kill you

01:05:51because I like to do bad things

01:05:53while I don't want

01:05:54to do bad things.

01:05:55There's always the one

01:05:56you do want

01:05:57to do bad things with,

01:05:58isn't there?

01:05:58I want to lie close to you

01:06:00and feel your arms around me.

01:06:02You said that bit before.

01:06:04You are afraid of me.

01:06:06You think I'm a naughty boy.

01:06:07You do think I might kill you.

01:06:09If I thought you'd kill me,

01:06:10I'd come away with you

01:06:11right now

01:06:12and no questions asked.

01:06:15I don't think you're

01:06:16any more naughty

01:06:17than anybody else.

01:06:18Less probably.

01:06:19Then what are you afraid of?

01:06:20Of men of love?

01:06:23Yes.

01:06:24I'm afraid of men.

01:06:26I'm very much afraid of men.

01:06:29And I'm even more afraid of women.

01:06:32And I'm very much afraid

01:06:33of the whole bloody human race.

01:06:36Who wouldn't be afraid

01:06:37of a pack of damned hyenas?

01:06:39And when I say afraid,

01:06:40what I really mean is

01:06:41I hate them.

01:06:43I hate their voices.

01:06:45I hate the way they laugh.

01:06:46I hate their eyes.

01:06:47I hate the whole bloody business.

01:06:49It's cruel.

01:06:50It's idiotic.

01:06:50It's unspeakably horrible.

01:06:53I never had the guts

01:06:54to kill myself

01:06:54or I'd have got out of it

01:06:55long ago.

01:06:56So much the worse for me.

01:06:59Let's leave it at that.

01:07:01What happened to you?

01:07:04Something bad

01:07:05must have happened

01:07:05to make you like this.

01:07:07It wasn't just one thing.

01:07:08It took years.

01:07:10It was a slow process.

01:07:12I believe you.

01:07:13Well, if we're going

01:07:14to start believing each other,

01:07:15it's getting serious, isn't it?

01:07:17Then believe this.

01:07:19I could make love to you

01:07:20and afterwards,

01:07:21you'd be different.

01:07:22You're trying to make

01:07:23an unimportant thing

01:07:25sound important.

01:07:26Important, unimportant.

01:07:27They're just words.

01:07:28If we can be happy

01:07:29for a little,

01:07:30forget everything

01:07:31for a little,

01:07:32isn't that important enough?

01:07:35Now, we'll go back

01:07:36to your hotel.

01:07:37No.

01:07:38Still nothing doing.

01:07:40I must go.

01:07:41Please, I'm tired.

01:07:42Good night.

01:07:43Sleep well.

01:07:44Take a big dose of luminol.

01:07:45I will.

01:07:46Good night.

01:07:47Good night.

01:07:49Good night.

01:07:51Good night.

01:07:52All the same,

01:07:57we part at the door

01:07:58of the hotel.

01:08:00I go to the downstairs lavatory,

01:08:03not sad,

01:08:04not happy,

01:08:05not regretful,

01:08:06not thinking of anything much.

01:08:09I'm not sad

01:08:10as I go upstairs,

01:08:12except that I see

01:08:13very clearly in my head

01:08:14the tube of luminol

01:08:15and the bottle of whiskey,

01:08:18just in case.

01:08:19As I get to my landing,

01:08:22the time switch goes off

01:08:23and everything is in darkness.

01:08:26I'm feeling for the knob

01:08:27when I see the light

01:08:29of a cigarette

01:08:30a yard or two

01:08:31from my face.

01:08:32Who's there?

01:08:33But before he answers,

01:08:34I know.

01:08:35I put my arms around him.

01:08:42Did I frighten you?

01:08:43No,

01:08:44no,

01:08:45a bit.

01:08:47No.

01:08:50It's dark in here.

01:08:51Just a minute.

01:08:52I'll fix it.

01:08:55Here we are,

01:08:56nothing to stop us.

01:08:59A difficult moment

01:09:00when you're out of practice.

01:09:03Would you like some whiskey?

01:09:04I've got some.

01:09:05I bet nobody's ever thought

01:09:08of that way

01:09:08of bridging the gap before.

01:09:09Time,

01:09:12time.

01:09:13Give me time.

01:09:14Not yet.

01:09:16Wait a minute.

01:09:18Cheers.

01:09:19Cheers.

01:09:23Oh.

01:09:24Isn't it right?

01:09:25Don't you like it?

01:09:26Yes, it's all right.

01:09:26I don't want a drink.

01:09:27Mine tastes awful.

01:09:28It tastes of mouthwash.

01:09:29Why do you drink it?

01:09:30Don't drink it.

01:09:31It's funny how some men

01:09:32try to get you to swill

01:09:33as much as you can hold

01:09:34and others try to stop you.

01:09:35Just now,

01:09:35on the landing,

01:09:38you knew it was me.

01:09:39Yes, of course.

01:09:40But how could you have known

01:09:41before I said anything?

01:09:42Well, I didn't know.

01:09:44Then you knew

01:09:44I was coming up after you.

01:09:47You expected me to.

01:09:48No, I didn't.

01:09:49I didn't a bit.

01:09:50You love playing a comedy,

01:09:52don't you?

01:09:52How do you mean a comedy?

01:09:53What comedy, damn you?

01:09:54I'm going to have another whiskey.

01:09:55No, don't drink anymore.

01:09:56Go to hell.

01:09:58I knew you really wanted me

01:09:59to come up.

01:10:00It was easy to see.

01:10:01Hooray, you're psychic.

01:10:02Here's to you.

01:10:06Look,

01:10:06it was sweet of you

01:10:08to come up

01:10:09and I was very pleased

01:10:09to see you.

01:10:10Now you've got to go.

01:10:11Why are you like this?

01:10:12I don't want you

01:10:12to be like this.

01:10:13It's no use.

01:10:14I'd rather you went.

01:10:15I'm not going on

01:10:16to see this comedy through.

01:10:18You'll have to call

01:10:18for someone to put me out

01:10:19if you want to make

01:10:20yourself ridiculous.

01:10:21I've been so ridiculous

01:10:22all my life

01:10:23that a little bit more

01:10:23or a little bit less

01:10:24can hardly matter now.

01:10:26Call out, then.

01:10:26Why do you think

01:10:27knock on the wall

01:10:27and ask your friend

01:10:28next door to help you?

01:10:29I don't want to have

01:10:30a row here,

01:10:30only you've got to go.

01:10:31Why?

01:10:32Because I tell you

01:10:32to go and you'll go.

01:10:33Just like that?

01:10:34Yes, just like that.

01:10:35What do you think

01:10:35I am, a little dog?

01:10:37You think you can kiss me

01:10:38and then say to me,

01:10:39get out?

01:10:39I don't like that voice

01:10:40that gives orders.

01:10:41Very well,

01:10:41I ask you to go.

01:10:42Oh, you annoy me.

01:10:45You'll regret

01:10:45annoying me.

01:10:48And here we are,

01:10:49struggling on the small bed.

01:10:51This is really

01:10:52a bit comic.

01:10:54I want to be able

01:10:55to keep thinking

01:10:56this is really

01:10:56a bit comic.

01:10:58We're on the wrong bed

01:10:59and with all our clothes on,

01:11:00just like English people.

01:11:01Oh, we have a lot of time.

01:11:04We have till tomorrow.

01:11:05A long time till tomorrow.

01:11:07A hundred years,

01:11:08perhaps, till tomorrow.

01:11:09You think you're

01:11:10very strong, don't you?

01:11:11Yes, I'm very strong.

01:11:13I'm as strong as the dead,

01:11:15my dear.

01:11:15That's how strong I am.

01:11:16If you're so strong,

01:11:17why do you keep

01:11:17your eyes shut?

01:11:18Because dead people

01:11:19must have their eyes shut.

01:11:21I'm going to hurt you.

01:11:23It's your fault.

01:11:24I open my eyes

01:11:25and I feel the tears

01:11:26trickling down

01:11:26the outside corners.

01:11:29That's better.

01:11:33Now everything's

01:11:34going to be all right.

01:11:36You understand?

01:11:40I understand.

01:11:43Naturally, I understand.

01:11:45I should be an awful fool

01:11:46if I didn't.

01:11:48If you look

01:11:49in the right-hand pocket

01:11:50of the dressing case

01:11:51over on that table,

01:11:52you'll find the money

01:11:53you want.

01:11:54Take the thousand-franc note,

01:11:56but for God's sake,

01:11:57leave me the rest.

01:11:57It's all I have.

01:12:00You mustn't think

01:12:01that I'm vexed about anything

01:12:02because I'm not.

01:12:04I thought you were

01:12:05awfully sweet to me.

01:12:05I loved all the stories

01:12:07you told me about yourself,

01:12:09especially the one

01:12:09about how much

01:12:10you loved women.

01:12:11That one amused me a lot.

01:12:13I'm just trying to save you

01:12:15a whole lot of trouble,

01:12:17a whole waste of time.

01:12:18He's moved so quickly

01:12:21that I haven't had time

01:12:22to put my arms around him

01:12:23or to say,

01:12:24stay,

01:12:25or don't do this,

01:12:26don't leave me like this,

01:12:27don't.

01:12:28Yes, you're right.

01:12:30It would be a waste of time.

01:12:32He's at the glass

01:12:33putting his ties straight.

01:12:35I keep my arm over my eyes

01:12:37because I don't want

01:12:38to see him take the money.

01:12:40He might say something.

01:12:42He might say good night

01:12:43or goodbye

01:12:44or good luck

01:12:45or something.

01:12:48I turn over on my side

01:12:53and cry in a way

01:12:54that hurts right down,

01:12:56that hurts your heart

01:12:57and your stomach.

01:12:59Who is this crying?

01:13:01That same one who laughed

01:13:02on the landing

01:13:03kissed him and was happy.

01:13:05This is me who is crying.

01:13:08The other,

01:13:09I don't know who she is.

01:13:11She has a voice in my head.

01:13:13I hate to stop you crying.

01:13:15I know it's your favorite pastime,

01:13:17but I must remind you

01:13:19that the man next door

01:13:20has probably heard

01:13:20every damn thing

01:13:21and is now listening

01:13:22in to the sequel.

01:13:24And another thing,

01:13:25if he's taken all your money,

01:13:27which he almost certainly has,

01:13:28that'll be a lovely business.

01:13:30The last performance

01:13:32of What's-Her-Name

01:13:32and Her Boys

01:13:33or It Was All Due

01:13:35to an Old Fur Coat.

01:13:37You've had dinner

01:13:38with a beautiful young man

01:13:40and he kissed you

01:13:41and you paid

01:13:41a thousand francs for it.

01:13:44Not bad,

01:13:45considering the exchange rate,

01:13:46dearie.

01:13:46I get up

01:13:55and blow my nose.

01:13:57There is blood

01:13:58on the handkerchief.

01:13:59I look in a glass

01:14:00and see that my mouth

01:14:01is swollen

01:14:02where he bit it.

01:14:04I go over to the dressing case.

01:14:06I take the money out.

01:14:08Two hundred franc notes

01:14:09and a thousand franc note.

01:14:13What a compliment.

01:14:19Ah.

01:14:21Here's to you, gigolo.

01:14:23Chic gigolo.

01:14:25Have another.

01:14:27I get very drunk.

01:14:29All I hear are voices.

01:14:31I think Madame Venus

01:14:33is playing tricks on you.

01:14:35When you cried,

01:14:36I was so sad.

01:14:37This is indeed worse

01:14:38than I thought.

01:14:38We didn't know

01:14:39about any of this.

01:14:40This woman is the biggest fool

01:14:41I've ever met in my life.

01:14:42I can't bear to see you

01:14:44living like this.

01:14:45It isn't such a long time

01:14:47since he left.

01:14:49Put on your coat

01:14:50and go after him.

01:14:51I can't, my dear.

01:14:53Not that I don't want to.

01:14:54It's just that my legs

01:14:55feel funny.

01:14:57So come back.

01:14:59You shall come back.

01:15:00I'll force you to come back.

01:15:03No, I mean

01:15:03I beg you to come back.

01:15:06I press my hands

01:15:07over my eyes

01:15:08and I can see him.

01:15:10He is walking along

01:15:11the Boulevard Saint-Michel

01:15:12thinking,

01:15:13Ridiculous woman.

01:15:16Stupid bitch.

01:15:17Come back.

01:15:19Come back.

01:15:20You don't like men.

01:15:20You don't like women.

01:15:21You like nothing.

01:15:22Nobody.

01:15:23But why the gesture

01:15:24of not taking the money?

01:15:26Come back and get it.

01:15:27You could walk in

01:15:28and say,

01:15:29I forgot something.

01:15:30Take it

01:15:30and walk out again.

01:15:32He hesitates and stops.

01:15:35I have him.

01:15:36Damned woman.

01:15:38Listen.

01:15:39You hear me now.

01:15:40It's still quite early.

01:15:42The door will still be open.

01:15:44If anyone speaks to you

01:15:45just say,

01:15:46the woman in number 41

01:15:47she's waiting for me.

01:15:48Just say that.

01:15:50I see him very clearly

01:15:51in my head.

01:15:51I see him

01:15:52I daren't let him go

01:15:53for a moment.

01:15:54He mustn't have to knock.

01:15:56He must be able

01:15:56to walk straight in.

01:15:58I get up

01:15:59and try to put the key

01:16:00on the outside of the door.

01:16:01I drop it.

01:16:03I leave the door

01:16:03a little open.

01:16:05I've got all my clothes on.

01:16:06How stupid.

01:16:07I undress very quickly.

01:16:09Now he's turning into the end

01:16:12of the street

01:16:12very clear in my head.

01:16:15I get into bed.

01:16:16I lie there trembling.

01:16:18How awful I must look.

01:16:20I must put the light out.

01:16:21Oh, no.

01:16:22No, it doesn't matter.

01:16:23I cried like that

01:16:25because you went away.

01:16:27Now he has come

01:16:27to the hotel.

01:16:29He presses the button

01:16:30and the door opens.

01:16:32He's coming up the stairs.

01:16:34Now the door is moving.

01:16:36The door is opening wide.

01:16:38I put my arms

01:16:38over my eyes.

01:16:40He comes in.

01:16:41I lie very still

01:16:45with my arm over my eyes.

01:16:47As still as if I were dead.

01:16:49I don't need to look.

01:16:51I know.

01:16:53But I must find out which one.

01:16:56It's very important.

01:16:59I take my arm away from my eyes.

01:17:03It is the white dressing gown.

01:17:07He stands there

01:17:08looking down at me

01:17:09not sure of himself.

01:17:11His mean eyes flickering.

01:17:14Thank God

01:17:15he doesn't say anything.

01:17:17I look straight into his eyes

01:17:19and despise another

01:17:21poor devil of a human being

01:17:23for the last time.

01:17:25The last time.

01:17:29Then I put my arms around him

01:17:31and pull him down on the bed.

01:17:35Yes.

01:17:38Yes.

01:17:39Yes.

01:17:41Yes.

01:17:58The part of Sasha

01:18:00was played by Eileen Atkins.

01:18:03Renee, Dominic Letts.

01:18:05Delmar, Shando Elish.

01:18:06Paul, Radrawi.

01:18:09No, Steve Hodson.

01:18:12The nurse, Shirley Dixon.

01:18:14The patron, Constance Byrne.

01:18:16The dress shop owner, Michael McStay.

01:18:19With Alice Arnold, Emma Gregory,

01:18:21Jeremy Spriggs, Malcolm Ward,

01:18:23and Peter Whitman.

01:18:25Technical presentation by Rosamund Mason.

01:18:27assisted by Alison McKenzie

01:18:30and Hilary Carruthers.

01:18:32Music by Stephen Warbeck.

01:18:35Dean Reese's

01:18:35Good Morning Midnight

01:18:37was dramatized by Roderick Graham

01:18:39and directed by Jane Morgan.

01:18:50Tom, come and Operator.

Category

Transcript

Recommended