Kind Hearts And Coronets 1996 by Gilbert Travers Thomas

Oldtuberadio

The third BBC Radio production of Gilbert Travers Thomas' adaptation of the screenplay of the film KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS by Robert Harner and John Dighton from the novel ISRAEL RANK by Roy Horniman.  Louis Mazzini is the only son of the disowned and cast-out youngest daughter of the 7th Duke of Chalfont. After his mother dies and Louis is spurned by the D'Ascoyne family, Louis is determined to ascend to the heights by any means possible ... and no matter how many D'Ascoynes stand in his way of becoming the next Duke of Chalfont!  Louis D'Ascoyne Mazzini ... Michael Kitchen Charles Ascoyne D'Ascoyne, Lord Ascoyne D'Ascoyne, Henry D'Ascoyne,The Reverend Lord Henry D'Ascoyne, Lady Agatha D'Ascoyne, Admiral Lord Horatio D'Ascoyne. General Lord Rufus D'Ascoyne & Ethelred Duke of Chalfont ... Harry Enfield Sibella ... Lyndsey Baxter Edith D'Ascoyne ... Haydn Gwynne Mr. Elliot ... Timothy Bateson Mrs. Mazzini ... Zulema Dene Inspector Burgoyne ... David Lodge Warder ... Leonard Woodrow Prison Governor ... Geoffrey Whitehead Lionel Holland ... David Timson Crown Counsel ... Michael Denison with: John Hartley, David Collings, Tracey Wiles, Jane Wittenshaw, Ross Livingstone, Jonathan Keeble, Roger May, Stephen Critchlow  Music by Barrington Pheloung  Directed by Andy Jordan  Broadcast on BBC Radio 4 6 January 1996   Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00:00The End

00:00:30Michael Kitchen is Louis Mazzini

00:00:42and Harry Enfield plays The Dascoigne Family

00:00:46in Kind Hearts and Coronets.

00:00:49Adapted for radio by Gilbert Travis Thomas

00:00:51from the Ealing Comedy screenplay

00:00:53by Robert Hamer and John Dighton.

00:00:57Kind Hearts and Coronets

00:00:59Capital Punishment Amendment Act 1868

00:01:17The sentence of the law

00:01:19passed upon Louis d'Ascoy Mazzini

00:01:21Duke of Shelford

00:01:24found guilty of murder

00:01:26will be carried into execution

00:01:28at 8 a.m. tomorrow.

00:01:31Adieu, Kain.

00:01:33Well, well.

00:01:35Good evening, Mr. Elliot.

00:01:59Good evening, Warder.

00:02:00Nice drop of rain.

00:02:01Yes.

00:02:02Oh, yes, indeed.

00:02:08Just sign the book, if you will.

00:02:10Yes.

00:02:11Been keeping you busy, Mr. Elliot.

00:02:12Oh, just nicely, you know.

00:02:14This one we've got for you tomorrow

00:02:15is something special.

00:02:17Oh, yes, very much so.

00:02:18Even after all my years in the profession,

00:02:21I'm quite looking forward to him.

00:02:23There you are, Warder.

00:02:27Well, I must be getting along.

00:02:28The governor in?

00:02:29Yes, he's expecting you.

00:02:30Good night.

00:02:31Good night, Mr. Elliot.

00:02:33Usual cup of tea at seven.

00:02:35Oh, please.

00:02:41Good evening, Governor.

00:02:42Well, Elliot, this is a very terrible occasion.

00:02:48Yes, it is indeed, sir.

00:02:50Even my lamented master, the great Mr. Harry himself,

00:02:54never had the privilege of hanging a duke.

00:02:57Quite, quite.

00:02:58What a finale to a lifetime in the public service.

00:03:02Finale?

00:03:03Oh, yes.

00:03:04I intend to retire.

00:03:05After using the silken rope,

00:03:08never again to be content with hemp.

00:03:11Quite.

00:03:12Do you wish to have a look at the duke?

00:03:17Just a glimpse.

00:03:18An idea of size and weight, you know.

00:03:21Quite.

00:03:22How will he approach it?

00:03:25I should think as the calmest you've ever known.

00:03:28Noblest, oblige, doubtless.

00:03:31A difficult plant can make things most distressing.

00:03:34Some of them tend to be very hysterical.

00:03:37It's so inconsiderate.

00:03:40Well, Colonel, considering the importance of the occasion,

00:03:43I shall retire early.

00:03:45The last execution of a duke in this country

00:03:48was very badly bungled.

00:03:50That was in the old days of the axe, of course.

00:03:53Quite.

00:03:54Oh, I almost forgot.

00:03:57You must forgive my ignorance,

00:03:59but when we meet in the morning,

00:04:01what is the correct form of address?

00:04:04Your Lordship?

00:04:06Your Grace.

00:04:07Really?

00:04:08Oh, Your Grace.

00:04:10Well, yes, thank you.

00:04:12Yes.

00:04:13Good morning, Your Grace.

00:04:16Good morning, Your Grace.

00:04:19Good morning, Your Grace.

00:04:21Good evening, Your Grace.

00:04:31Oh, good evening, Colonel.

00:04:33Will you have a glass of wine?

00:04:35Um, thank you, no.

00:04:38I, um...

00:04:39I called to inquire whether you had any special wishes for breakfast.

00:04:43Well, just coffee and a slice of toast, thank you,

00:04:45and perhaps a few grapes.

00:04:47I hate to disappoint the newspaper-reading public,

00:04:50but it'll be too early for the conventional hearty breakfast.

00:04:52The appointment is at eight, is it not?

00:04:55At eight, yes.

00:04:58Well, if there's nothing further I can do for you...

00:05:01No, nothing, thank you, Colonel.

00:05:03Unless, uh...

00:05:04Your Grace?

00:05:05This quill.

00:05:06It scratches abominably, as I write.

00:05:09Of course.

00:05:10I'll have another sent down from my office.

00:05:14We shall have the opportunity of making our adeors in the morning, I presume.

00:05:17I regret to say...

00:05:19Yes.

00:05:20Good night, Your Grace.

00:05:22Good night, Colonel.

00:05:23A brief history of the events leading thereto,

00:05:46written on the eve of his execution

00:05:49by Louis d'Ascoyne Mazzini,

00:05:5310th Duke of Chalfont,

00:05:54who...

00:05:56who ventures to hope

00:05:58that this confession of his guilt

00:06:00may prove not uninteresting

00:06:02to those who remain to read it.

00:06:08With so little time remaining to complete my story,

00:06:11it is difficult to choose where to begin it.

00:06:13Perhaps I should begin at the beginning.

00:06:16My mother was the daughter of the 7th Duke of Chalfont.

00:06:20As soon as she was of age,

00:06:25she eloped with a handsome Italian singer called Mazzini.

00:06:28My mother was the daughter of the 7th Duke of Chalfont.

00:06:42My mother was the daughter of Chalfont.

00:06:43Thus exchanging the medieval splendors of Chalfont Castle

00:06:47for the modern conveniences of No. 73, Balaclava Avenue,

00:06:51London South West,

00:06:52where...

00:06:53After a decent interval,

00:06:58I arrived on the scene.

00:06:59However, my father succumbed to a heart attack

00:07:14at the moment of his first setting eyes on me.

00:07:16Thus,

00:07:16early in his career,

00:07:18Papa was sent to join the Heavenly Choir,

00:07:21and in the circumstances it will be understood

00:07:23that I have but light memory of him.

00:07:26Reduced to an even deeper poverty

00:07:36by my father's death,

00:07:38Mama swallowed her pride

00:07:40and made an effort of reconciliation with her family.

00:07:43They did not even reply to her letter.

00:07:46So in order to keep us both alive,

00:07:49she was reduced to the horrible expedient of taking a lodger.

00:07:54And this is the sitting room, Mr Perkins.

00:07:57Ah, hmm.

00:07:59Well, Mrs...

00:08:01I think we might come to some arrangement.

00:08:05Say, um...

00:08:0625 shillings a week?

00:08:08Thus,

00:08:09protected by Mama's small annuity

00:08:11and the weekly contributions of Mr Perkins,

00:08:14I passed from infancy to childhood

00:08:16in an atmosphere of family history

00:08:18and genealogies

00:08:20until I knew the descent of the House of Chalfont by heart.

00:08:24The dukedom had been bestowed by Charles II

00:08:27on Colonel Henry Dascoyne

00:08:29for services rendered to His Majesty during his exile.

00:08:34Sire!

00:08:35Later,

00:08:37for services rendered to His Majesty

00:08:39after his restoration by the Duchess.

00:08:42Oh, sire!

00:08:44Ahem.

00:08:45The title was granted the unique privilege

00:08:48of descending by the female as well as the male line.

00:08:51It was therefore theoretically possible

00:08:52that via Mama

00:08:54I might inherit the dukedom.

00:08:58Mama scraped and saved

00:08:59and sent me to the best school she could afford.

00:09:02In view of my present predicament,

00:09:05one little incident there occurs to me as amusing.

00:09:08Lionel Holland,

00:09:09what is the sixth commandment?

00:09:11Come, come now,

00:09:14surely you know what the sixth commandment is.

00:09:19Someone else then.

00:09:20Sibela.

00:09:22I know.

00:09:23Please.

00:09:24Louis Mazzini.

00:09:25All right, tell us.

00:09:27Thou shalt not kill.

00:09:29No, in those days I never had any trouble with the sixth commandment.

00:09:33As to the seventh,

00:09:34I was hardly of an age to concern myself with it,

00:09:37although I was old enough to be in love.

00:09:40Sibela,

00:09:41for that was her name,

00:09:43and her brother,

00:09:44were my only friends

00:09:46and we grew up together.

00:09:47In their case,

00:09:48Mama relaxed her objection

00:09:50to my associating with the local children.

00:09:52At least their father,

00:09:54Dr Hallwood,

00:09:54was a professional man.

00:09:56But alas,

00:09:57those carefree school days soon passed.

00:09:59And when I was seventeen,

00:10:01Mama decided to have a serious talk with me.

00:10:04Now, Louis,

00:10:05the time has come

00:10:06to think very carefully about your future.

00:10:08Well, it should be quite easy to get a job.

00:10:10Not a job, dear,

00:10:12a career.

00:10:13Now, who do we know who could help us?

00:10:15Well, we don't really know anyone

00:10:17except the family.

00:10:19And they don't know us.

00:10:20Well, the least we can do

00:10:22is to try once more.

00:10:24I shall write to Lord Ascoind Ascoind.

00:10:27He could surely do something

00:10:29in that bank of his.

00:10:30Bank, Mama?

00:10:31This is a private bank, Louis, dear.

00:10:34They don't pass money over the counter.

00:10:36The letter was duly dispatched.

00:10:38And this time,

00:10:39we did get an answer.

00:10:41Madam,

00:10:43I am instructed by Lord Ascoind Ascoind

00:10:45to inform you

00:10:46that he is not aware

00:10:49of your son's existence

00:10:50as a member of the Ascoind family.

00:10:53Signed by his secretary.

00:10:56It's very stupid of him,

00:10:58of them all,

00:10:59not to admit your existence.

00:11:01It's when one day

00:11:02you might be Duke of Chalfont.

00:11:03It's a very big might, Mama.

00:11:05There must be at least

00:11:06twelve people before me.

00:11:07Stranger things have happened.

00:11:09I don't wish to be unchristian.

00:11:11But in view of their attitude,

00:11:13I could almost wish

00:11:14those twelve people

00:11:15should all die tomorrow.

00:11:18All except one, Mama,

00:11:19because you must be

00:11:21Duchess of Chalfont

00:11:22before I'm Duke.

00:11:23No, it'll have to be a job

00:11:25and not a career after all, Mama.

00:11:26I'm afraid so, Louis.

00:11:29But, oh dear,

00:11:30a Dascoind in trade.

00:11:33Even potential Dukes

00:11:35have to eat.

00:11:37Mr Perkins,

00:11:38our lodger now

00:11:39for nearly fifteen years,

00:11:40did his best to be helpful.

00:11:42Well, Louis,

00:11:43I've had another chat

00:11:44with Mr Parsons,

00:11:45our manager.

00:11:46He says you can start

00:11:48any time you like.

00:11:49I suggest Monday week.

00:11:52Thus, the possible

00:11:52future Duke of Chalfont

00:11:54became what was known

00:11:55as a general draper's assistant,

00:11:57and this humiliation

00:11:58continued for two

00:11:59dispiriting years.

00:12:02Then one day, Mama,

00:12:03who had broken her glasses

00:12:05and couldn't afford

00:12:05to have them mended,

00:12:07was knocked down

00:12:08by a tram near Clapham Junction

00:12:09and fatally injured.

00:12:13Louis?

00:12:14Louis?

00:12:15Louis, where are you?

00:12:16I'm here, Mama.

00:12:17Louis?

00:12:18Yes, Mama?

00:12:19I should like

00:12:21to be buried

00:12:22at Chalfont

00:12:22in the family form.

00:12:24You're not going

00:12:25to die, Mama.

00:12:27Promise me, Louis.

00:12:30Promise me.

00:12:32Mama?

00:12:40I wrote to the Duke

00:12:42of Chalfont

00:12:42informing him

00:12:43of Mama's dying wish.

00:12:45His reply

00:12:46was the curtest

00:12:47possible refusal.

00:12:49Two days later,

00:12:50Mama was buried,

00:12:51and standing by her

00:12:52poor little grave

00:12:53in that hideous

00:12:54suburban cemetery,

00:12:56I made an oath

00:12:56that I would revenge

00:12:58the wrongs

00:12:58her family had done her.

00:13:01It was no more

00:13:02than a piece of

00:13:02youthful bravado,

00:13:04but it was one of those

00:13:04acorns from which

00:13:06great oaks

00:13:07are destined to grow.

00:13:08even then, I went so far

00:13:14as to examine the family tree

00:13:16and prune it

00:13:17to just the living members,

00:13:19of which there were

00:13:20no less than twelve.

00:13:21But what could I do

00:13:23to hurt them?

00:13:25What could I take

00:13:26from them?

00:13:27Except, perhaps,

00:13:30their lives.

00:13:31I even speculated

00:13:32as to how I might

00:13:33contrive it.

00:13:34But there were

00:13:36other more

00:13:36urgent problems.

00:13:38Mama's tiny income

00:13:39came from

00:13:40an annuity

00:13:41and had died

00:13:43with her.

00:13:44The problem

00:13:45of how to live

00:13:46on twenty-five shillings

00:13:47a week

00:13:47was solved for me

00:13:48by an invitation

00:13:49from Dr Hallward

00:13:50to lodge with them.

00:13:51It was galling

00:13:52to accept the status

00:13:53of a poor relation,

00:13:54but the certainty

00:13:55of seeing

00:13:56Cybella every day

00:13:57was too tempting

00:13:58to be refused.

00:13:59The next few years

00:14:21brought many

00:14:21such heartaches,

00:14:22but they also

00:14:23brought promotion.

00:14:25I decided

00:14:26that if I was

00:14:27to be a draper,

00:14:27at least I would

00:14:29not be a suburban

00:14:30draper,

00:14:31so I migrated

00:14:31to a larger

00:14:32modern store

00:14:34which had just

00:14:34been opened

00:14:35in the West End

00:14:36at the gigantic

00:14:37salary of

00:14:38two pounds

00:14:39a week.

00:14:40Every lunchtime

00:14:41I went to the

00:14:41reading room

00:14:42of the public library

00:14:43to see how my

00:14:44inheritance was

00:14:45proceeding.

00:14:47Sometimes the

00:14:48deaths column

00:14:48brought good news.

00:14:50Ah, excellent.

00:14:52Sometimes the

00:14:53births column

00:14:54brought bad news.

00:14:56Oh.

00:14:56The advent

00:14:57of twin sons

00:14:58to the Duke

00:14:59was a terrible blow.

00:15:01Fortunately,

00:15:02an epidemic

00:15:02of diphthery

00:15:03restored the

00:15:04status quo

00:15:04almost immediately

00:15:05and even brought

00:15:06me a bonus

00:15:06in the shape

00:15:07of the Duchess,

00:15:08who succumbed

00:15:09at the same time

00:15:09as her children.

00:15:11But the Duchy

00:15:12of Chalfont

00:15:12was not all absorbing.

00:15:14There were other

00:15:15matters to concern

00:15:16me of a more

00:15:16personal nature.

00:15:18That summer,

00:15:20the Hallwoods

00:15:21gave a party.

00:15:23Wow!

00:15:24That's the last

00:15:25of them, thank

00:15:26heaven.

00:15:27Oh, what an

00:15:28evening.

00:15:29Well, I thought

00:15:29it was a very

00:15:30nice evening.

00:15:30It may have

00:15:31been for you.

00:15:32Oh, it's awful

00:15:33being a woman

00:15:33having to dance

00:15:34with a lot of

00:15:35dull men,

00:15:36laugh at their

00:15:37jokes while

00:15:38they're treading

00:15:38on your feet.

00:15:39I didn't tread

00:15:39on your feet.

00:15:40You're not dull

00:15:41and your jokes

00:15:43are funny.

00:15:44Well, thank you.

00:15:47Sabella?

00:15:48Hmm?

00:15:51Sabella, will you

00:15:52marry me?

00:15:55Oh, no, of course

00:15:57not.

00:15:58And do get up

00:15:59on your knees

00:16:00like that.

00:16:01You may be

00:16:02half Italian,

00:16:02but even so,

00:16:04you do look silly

00:16:04playing the stage

00:16:05lover like that.

00:16:06Oh, I look silly,

00:16:07do I?

00:16:08Yes.

00:16:09Very.

00:16:14Do I still look

00:16:17silly?

00:16:18No.

00:16:19Now will you

00:16:20marry me?

00:16:21No.

00:16:22Why not?

00:16:23Because I just

00:16:25said I'd marry

00:16:25Lionel.

00:16:26Oh, you can't.

00:16:27Why not?

00:16:27Well, he's a clod.

00:16:29He's not a gentleman.

00:16:31Listen who's

00:16:31talking.

00:16:32Whoever heard

00:16:33of a gentleman

00:16:34blacking the

00:16:34lodger's boots?

00:16:35That's a wicked

00:16:36thing to say.

00:16:37Just because

00:16:38Mama was poor.

00:16:40Lionel will be

00:16:40very rich one day.

00:16:41Well, I might

00:16:42be a duke one day.

00:16:43Pigs might fly.

00:16:44No, I might.

00:16:45Really, I might.

00:16:46You see, Mama

00:16:46was the daughter

00:16:47of the seventh

00:16:47duke of Chalfont.

00:16:48Oh.

00:16:49Oh.

00:16:50Yes, I know.

00:16:52Well, when you

00:16:53are a duke, you

00:16:54just come and

00:16:55show me your

00:16:55crown, or

00:16:56whatever it is

00:16:57called, and

00:16:57then I'll feel

00:16:58awfully silly,

00:16:59won't I?

00:16:59Yes, you will.

00:17:01Anyhow, I'm

00:17:02going to marry

00:17:03Lionel.

00:17:04And now I'm

00:17:06going to bed.

00:17:09Good night,

00:17:10Louise.

00:17:10If there was a

00:17:12precise moment at

00:17:13which my

00:17:14insubstantial dreaming

00:17:15took on solid

00:17:16purpose, that

00:17:18was it.

00:17:20The Dascoines had

00:17:21not only wronged my

00:17:22mother, they were

00:17:23the obstacle between

00:17:24me and all that I

00:17:25wanted.

00:17:26There were then

00:17:27some eight people

00:17:29between me and the

00:17:30dukedom, all seemingly

00:17:32equally out of reach.

00:17:34It's so difficult to

00:17:35make a neat job of

00:17:36killing people with

00:17:37whom one is not

00:17:37on friendly terms.

00:17:40I was almost

00:17:40resigned to its

00:17:41being an impossibility

00:17:42when one afternoon,

00:17:44at a moment when my

00:17:44thoughts were furthest

00:17:45from the subject,

00:17:47fate took a hand.

00:17:49If you've nothing

00:17:50better, these will

00:17:51have to do.

00:17:52No, I'm afraid not,

00:17:53sir.

00:17:54All right.

00:17:55We're a couple,

00:17:56do Priscilla?

00:17:57Thank you, Charles.

00:17:58These London shops are

00:17:59so far behind Paris

00:18:00in this sort of thing.

00:18:02Parcel them up quickly

00:18:03and we'll take them

00:18:03with us.

00:18:04Charge them to my

00:18:05account.

00:18:05Yes, sir, what's

00:18:06the name?

00:18:06Mr. Ascoyne Dascoyne.

00:18:10At last I was face

00:18:12to face with one of

00:18:13them.

00:18:13This was the son of

00:18:15Lord Ascoyne Dascoyne,

00:18:17the banker, whose

00:18:18refusal to help me

00:18:19towards a more

00:18:20dignified career had

00:18:22led to my present

00:18:23ignominious occupation.

00:18:26In my excitement and

00:18:27anger, I listened

00:18:29openly to their

00:18:29conversation.

00:18:31I booked rooms at

00:18:32Crookshanks at

00:18:33Maidenhead.

00:18:34I thought we'd go

00:18:35down late on Friday

00:18:36afternoon and

00:18:37stay until Monday.

00:18:38Are you sure it's

00:18:39safe?

00:18:40It's the most

00:18:40discreet place I know.

00:18:42Oh, you've been

00:18:44there before then?

00:18:45No, of course not.

00:18:47What I mean is...

00:18:49Hey, you!

00:18:50Yes, sir?

00:18:51Get on with that

00:18:52parcel and never mind

00:18:53what we're talking about.

00:18:54Don't you dare talk

00:18:55to me like that?

00:18:56I think I'm interested

00:18:57in your idiotic

00:18:57conversation.

00:18:58Oh!

00:18:59If you want to add

00:19:00impertinence to your

00:19:01eavesdropping, we'll

00:19:01soon see about that.

00:19:02Send for the manager!

00:19:04The upshot was that I

00:19:06was dismissed on the

00:19:07spot.

00:19:08I decided to repay him

00:19:10in kind by dismissing

00:19:11him with equal

00:19:12suddenness from this

00:19:13world.

00:19:15His conversation had

00:19:16told me where I could

00:19:17probably find the

00:19:17opportunity to kill him,

00:19:19and Dr.

00:19:20Hallward's dispensary

00:19:21could, I thought,

00:19:22provide me with the

00:19:23means.

00:19:25With a week's wages

00:19:25I had received in

00:19:26lieu of notice, I

00:19:28invested in suitable

00:19:29apparel for Maidenhead

00:19:30and booked a modest

00:19:32single room at

00:19:33Crookshanks.

00:19:36That evening, after

00:19:38dinner, I took a stroll

00:19:40through the hotel in

00:19:41search of my quarry and

00:19:43found them having coffee

00:19:44and liqueurs together

00:19:45on the terrace.

00:19:47I decided to take the

00:19:49bull by the horns.

00:19:52Forgive me, haven't we

00:19:52met somewhere before?

00:19:54I don't think so.

00:19:55Well, that's funny,

00:19:56because I could have

00:19:56sworn I knew your face.

00:19:57Were you at Monty last

00:19:58year?

00:19:59The year before.

00:20:00Ah, that must be it.

00:20:01Won't you and your

00:20:02companion join me for a

00:20:03drink?

00:20:03Thank you, not this

00:20:04evening, we're rather

00:20:05tired.

00:20:07Yes, of course.

00:20:10I deprecated their

00:20:12retiring so early, but

00:20:13it was hard to blame

00:20:14them, for weekends,

00:20:15like life, are short.

00:20:18The next morning, I

00:20:19waited for them to come

00:20:21down, and the next

00:20:23afternoon, but they

00:20:27didn't appear the whole

00:20:28day, nor the morning

00:20:31after.

00:20:34I no longer felt

00:20:35sentimental.

00:20:36The weekend was nearly

00:20:37over, and I could

00:20:38hardly expect Providence

00:20:39to offer me so promising

00:20:40a chance again.

00:20:42When finally they did

00:20:43appear, and made their

00:20:44way to the hotel

00:20:45boathouse, I was in a

00:20:47state of desperation.

00:20:48We'll take the punt.

00:20:50Very good, sir.

00:20:51Let's have some more

00:20:52cushions and an awning.

00:20:53Yes, sir.

00:20:54Ready, darling?

00:20:58They drifted gently off

00:21:00downstream, and for a

00:21:01while I followed them on

00:21:02foot, hoping for I knew

00:21:04not what.

00:21:05I had the poison with me,

00:21:07but they hadn't even taken

00:21:08a picnic basket.

00:21:10It was possible, however,

00:21:11that they might stop

00:21:12somewhere for refreshment.

00:21:13They did stop shortly

00:21:15afterwards, but not for

00:21:17refreshment, and judging

00:21:18by past experience, they'd

00:21:20be there for hours.

00:21:21I decided to hire a boat

00:21:23myself.

00:21:25I shouldn't take her down

00:21:26there if I were you, sir.

00:21:28Oh, why not?

00:21:29Well, they close the weir

00:21:31gates at two o'clock.

00:21:32Ah, is that dangerous?

00:21:34Aye.

00:21:35There have been one or two

00:21:36nasty accidents.

00:21:37People getting carried over

00:21:38the weir.

00:21:40Oh, really?

00:21:41Aye.

00:21:42You'll see a notice

00:21:43further down, telling

00:21:43folks to moor up securely.

00:21:45Do you get any warning?

00:21:47Aye.

00:21:47They all up a red flag

00:21:49and sound a hooter.

00:21:51Thanks.

00:21:52I'll be careful.

00:21:54The rest followed

00:21:55automatically.

00:21:56I found the punt moored

00:21:58under some overhanging

00:21:59branches further up the

00:22:00reach.

00:22:01I tied my own punt by the

00:22:03bank about thirty yards

00:22:04upstream, and pulling

00:22:06off my clothes, slipped

00:22:07over the side into the

00:22:08water.

00:22:11My positioning was

00:22:17perfect, and it took me

00:22:18for a second to untie the

00:22:20clumsy granny knot by which

00:22:22Mr. Ascoyne Dascoyne had

00:22:23secured the punt to its pole.

00:22:25It was beautifully tied.

00:22:27Charles, we're moving.

00:22:40We're in heaven.

00:22:42But, Charles, we're moving.

00:22:45We can't be.

00:22:46We are.

00:22:47By God, you're right.

00:22:49Oh, Charles, no.

00:22:51The world can't be alive.

00:22:53I was sorry about the girl,

00:23:03but found some relief in the

00:23:04reflection that she'd

00:23:05presumably, during the

00:23:06weekend, already undergone a

00:23:07fate worse than death.

00:23:12Then I conceived a brilliant

00:23:14idea.

00:23:15I would write a carefully

00:23:16phrased letter of condolence

00:23:18to old Ascoyne Dascoyne.

00:23:20There would be an agreeable

00:23:21feeling of revenge for his

00:23:23cruelty to Mama, and further,

00:23:26it did not fail to occur to me

00:23:28that there was, at the moment,

00:23:29a vacancy in the banking

00:23:31house.

00:23:32Lord Ascoyne Dascoyne duly

00:23:34rose to the bait.

00:23:35Mr. Mazzini, how do you do?

00:23:39How do you do, sir?

00:23:41Please be seated.

00:23:46Ah, that photograph, isn't it?

00:23:48That, um...

00:23:48My late son, yes.

00:23:51Yes, a great loss.

00:23:52He was young and foolish, but I

00:23:54believe had he been spared until

00:23:56his maturity...

00:23:57Yes, it was my consciousness of

00:23:59that which led me to presume to

00:24:00tender you my sympathy, sir.

00:24:01I am glad that you did, sir.

00:24:04A loss so tragic serves to put

00:24:06lesser matters into their proper

00:24:07perspective.

00:24:09If I remember rightly, Mr. Mazzini,

00:24:11some years ago I received a

00:24:13communication from your mother.

00:24:14It was, I believe, in connection

00:24:16with your career.

00:24:21Hello, Louis.

00:24:22You look very pleased with

00:24:24yourself.

00:24:24And so do you, Isabelle.

00:24:26I have news.

00:24:27And so do I.

00:24:29What is it?

00:24:31No, yours first.

00:24:33Lionel and I have fixed a date

00:24:34for our wedding.

00:24:36In two months' time.

00:24:37Well, my congratulations.

00:24:39No, I should congratulate him.

00:24:40I compliment you.

00:24:42Now your news.

00:24:43Well, it's nothing so exciting

00:24:44as yours.

00:24:45I went today to see Lord

00:24:47Askoin Daskoin, my cousin,

00:24:49you know.

00:24:49He has a private banking house

00:24:51in the city.

00:24:52He offered me employment at

00:24:53once at five pound a week,

00:24:54with excellent prospects of

00:24:55promotion.

00:24:56Louis,

00:24:58I am so glad for you.

00:25:01Well, thank you.

00:25:03Louis,

00:25:04do you remember?

00:25:06What?

00:25:08Once in this room

00:25:09after my party.

00:25:11I kissed you.

00:25:13Yes.

00:25:13And you were horrible to me.

00:25:15Yes.

00:25:16I made fun about you

00:25:18being related to the

00:25:19Askoins.

00:25:20I'm sorry, Louis.

00:25:22Oh, you take it more

00:25:22seriously now.

00:25:24Yes.

00:25:26Louis,

00:25:27kiss me to show

00:25:29you've forgiven me.

00:25:32No.

00:25:34It would be wrong.

00:25:37You're pledged to Lionel.

00:25:39And I behaved like a cad

00:25:40that night.

00:25:41I like you when you behave

00:25:44like a cad.

00:25:45The next candidate for removal

00:25:49seemed to be young

00:25:50Henry Dascoigne,

00:25:51twenty-four years old,

00:25:52recently married,

00:25:53as yet without issue.

00:25:56I had quite an accumulation

00:25:58by now of Dascoigne data

00:26:00culled from newspapers

00:26:01and periodicals,

00:26:02and I looked through it

00:26:03for a possible approach

00:26:04to Henry.

00:26:06I soon found one.

00:26:07This interesting view

00:26:11of the picturesque village

00:26:13of Wimborne

00:26:13was taken by

00:26:14Mr. Henry Dascoigne,

00:26:16an enthusiastic photographer,

00:26:18who has contributed

00:26:20many a beautiful study

00:26:21to our pages.

00:26:24I bought the necessary

00:26:25equipment, second-hand,

00:26:27and bicycled down

00:26:28the following weekend.

00:26:31It seemed to me

00:26:32that I could find

00:26:33no better subject

00:26:34for my first essay

00:26:35in photography

00:26:36than the village inn,

00:26:38and it was through

00:26:39the viewfinder

00:26:39of my second-hand

00:26:41Thornton-Pickard

00:26:42that I first saw

00:26:43Henry Dascoigne

00:26:44emerging from

00:26:45the saloon bar.

00:26:47He watched me

00:26:48for a few moments,

00:26:50then came over.

00:26:52Excuse me?

00:26:54Yes?

00:26:55Isn't that

00:26:55the Thornton-Pickard?

00:26:57Yes, it is.

00:26:58Are you a photographer?

00:27:00Dabbling it, you know.

00:27:01Got a Sanger-Shepard myself.

00:27:03Well, a Sanger-Shepard.

00:27:04Nice little camera,

00:27:05focal plane shutter,

00:27:06rapid rectilinear,

00:27:07and all that.

00:27:08Really?

00:27:08Look here,

00:27:09why not come up

00:27:10to my house

00:27:10and I'll show it to you.

00:27:11I'd like you to meet

00:27:12my wife, too.

00:27:13Well, delighted.

00:27:14My name's Dascoigne,

00:27:15by the way.

00:27:15And mine's Bazzini.

00:27:18You don't do your

00:27:19developing and so on

00:27:20in the house, then?

00:27:21No, I've had the

00:27:22potting shed

00:27:23fixed up as a darkroom.

00:27:27Oh, I say.

00:27:30Couldn't have suited

00:27:30better if it had been

00:27:31built for it.

00:27:32Had the equipment

00:27:33sent down from town.

00:27:34There's everything to hand.

00:27:35Developer dishes here,

00:27:37toning bath here,

00:27:38whole plate enlarger.

00:27:39This is perfect.

00:27:41Not too bad, is it?

00:27:43I'll show you some

00:27:43quarter plates I've taken

00:27:44in the village,

00:27:45if you like.

00:27:45Oh, yes, please.

00:27:46Oh, talking of the village,

00:27:48by the by,

00:27:49I don't know if you're

00:27:50thinking of sending

00:27:50any of your efforts here

00:27:52to some periodical,

00:27:53but there's just one thing.

00:27:54Yes?

00:27:55I'm sure you're a good fellow.

00:27:57I wouldn't like to ask you.

00:27:59Ask me what?

00:28:00I'd be most grateful

00:28:01if you'd keep back

00:28:02that last plate you exposed.

00:28:04The inn?

00:28:05But it was delightful.

00:28:07Yes, yes.

00:28:08No, the fact is,

00:28:09my wife has views

00:28:10about such places,

00:28:12so I never go in them,

00:28:13you understand?

00:28:13Ah, well,

00:28:14naturally.

00:28:15I wouldn't dream

00:28:15of embarrassing you.

00:28:16I knew you were a good fellow.

00:28:18The mental picture

00:28:19of his wife

00:28:19that I formed

00:28:20from Henry's words

00:28:21left me unprepared

00:28:22for the charm

00:28:23of the woman

00:28:24I was to meet.

00:28:25She was as tall

00:28:26and slender

00:28:27as a lily

00:28:28and as beautiful.

00:28:31You'll take some sherry?

00:28:33Ah, well,

00:28:34thank you.

00:28:34I, um...

00:28:35My husband and I

00:28:36never touch alcohol,

00:28:37but we see no reason

00:28:39on that account

00:28:39to enforce our views

00:28:40on our guests.

00:28:42I could well understand

00:28:43Henry's visits

00:28:44to the village inn.

00:28:45Mrs. Dascoyne was beautiful,

00:28:47but what a prig she was.

00:28:49I wondered

00:28:50how to ingratiate myself

00:28:51with her

00:28:51and decided

00:28:52to attack

00:28:53on her own ground

00:28:54with her own weapons.

00:28:57I'm afraid

00:28:58we can offer you

00:28:58only a simple luncheon,

00:28:59Mr. Mazzini,

00:29:00but if you would care to stay,

00:29:02we should be pleased

00:29:03to welcome you

00:29:03at our table.

00:29:04You're most kind,

00:29:05but I feel

00:29:05I should not intrude.

00:29:07It is no intrusion.

00:29:08Well, I'm afraid it is.

00:29:09May I explain?

00:29:10Please do.

00:29:14It was only

00:29:14when your husband

00:29:15told me his name

00:29:16that I realised

00:29:17that I'd come by chance

00:29:18into the most

00:29:19embarrassing situation.

00:29:21My mother, you see,

00:29:22was a member

00:29:22of the Dascoyne family.

00:29:24She married,

00:29:25as they thought,

00:29:26beneath her,

00:29:27and from that day

00:29:28they refused

00:29:29to recognise

00:29:29her or my existence.

00:29:31I feel, therefore,

00:29:33that although

00:29:33in the circumstances

00:29:34you might hesitate

00:29:35to say so to my face,

00:29:37you and your husband

00:29:38would prefer

00:29:39not to receive me

00:29:40at your table.

00:29:40Perhaps

00:29:41you'd be good enough

00:29:42to explain matters

00:29:43to your husband for me,

00:29:44and I shall naturally

00:29:45leave the neighbourhood

00:29:45at once.

00:29:47Mr. Mazzini,

00:29:47please sit down.

00:29:50Oh, well.

00:29:53You have exhibited

00:29:54the most delicate feelings.

00:29:58I know nothing

00:29:58of the history

00:29:59to which you refer,

00:30:00but I have often felt

00:30:01that the attitude

00:30:01of my husband's family

00:30:03has failed

00:30:03to move with the times,

00:30:06that they think

00:30:06too much of the rights

00:30:07of nobility

00:30:08and too little

00:30:09of its duties.

00:30:10How true?

00:30:11The very honesty

00:30:12of your behaviour

00:30:13would appear to me

00:30:13to prove them wrong.

00:30:15Was Lord Tennyson

00:30:16far from the mark

00:30:17when he wrote,

00:30:19Kind hearts

00:30:19are more than coronets

00:30:20and simple faith

00:30:22than Norman blood?

00:30:25I hope you will

00:30:26stay to luncheon.

00:30:28My impersonation

00:30:29of a man

00:30:29of striking character

00:30:31was such a resounding

00:30:32success that

00:30:33Mrs. Dascoyne

00:30:33invited me to spend

00:30:34the following Saturday

00:30:36to Monday with them.

00:30:38When I returned

00:30:39to the somewhat

00:30:39contrasting atmosphere

00:30:41of Clapham,

00:30:42I found the Hallward's

00:30:43House in a Whirl

00:30:45with preparation

00:30:46for Cybella's wedding

00:30:47to Lionel,

00:30:48which was to take place

00:30:49the next day.

00:30:50Before going to bed

00:30:51that evening,

00:30:52I wandered into

00:30:53the old nursery

00:30:54to fetch a book

00:30:55I'd left there.

00:31:01Well, Cybella,

00:31:03you're not looking

00:31:04as radiantly happy

00:31:05as young females

00:31:06in your situation

00:31:07are supposed to look.

00:31:08I was just thinking

00:31:09of all the fun

00:31:10we've had in this room,

00:31:12you and I.

00:31:12And Lionel.

00:31:14Yes.

00:31:15And Lionel.

00:31:18Oh, Louis,

00:31:18I don't want

00:31:19to marry Lionel.

00:31:20Why not?

00:31:22He's so dull.

00:31:24Well,

00:31:25I must admit

00:31:26he exhibits

00:31:26the most extraordinary

00:31:27capacity for middle age

00:31:29that I've ever encountered

00:31:29in a young man of 24.

00:31:31However,

00:31:31it's a bit late in the day

00:31:32to think of that,

00:31:33isn't it?

00:31:33I know.

00:31:35That only makes it worse.

00:31:36I always told you

00:31:37you should marry me.

00:31:39I know.

00:31:39That makes it worse, too.

00:31:44I couldn't help feeling

00:31:46that even Cybella's

00:31:47capacity for lying

00:31:48was going to be taxed

00:31:49to the utmost.

00:31:51Time had brought me

00:31:53revenge on Lionel,

00:31:54and as the Italian proverb says,

00:31:56revenge is a dish

00:31:57which people of taste

00:31:59prefer to eat cold.

00:32:00The following Saturday

00:32:02I left London

00:32:04in the middle of the night

00:32:05and reached Henry's house

00:32:07just before dawn.

00:32:09It took a mere five minutes

00:32:10to get into the potting shed

00:32:12and substitute petrol

00:32:13for paraffin

00:32:14in the dark room lamp.

00:32:15Then I repaired

00:32:16to a meadow

00:32:17and took a few hours sleep

00:32:18while awaiting the hour

00:32:19at which I could reasonably

00:32:21arrive at the house.

00:32:22But the day dragged by

00:32:24in an agony of suspense for me.

00:32:26Henry took photograph

00:32:27after photograph

00:32:28but seemed to have

00:32:29no urge whatever

00:32:30to follow it up

00:32:31with a visit to the dark room.

00:32:32I began to fear

00:32:33he'd suddenly taken the pledge.

00:32:35Hold it.

00:32:37That's perfect.

00:32:40There.

00:32:41I think that'll do it.

00:32:44Look, Edith,

00:32:44if you don't mind,

00:32:46I'll just go and develop

00:32:47these before tea.

00:32:48Care to come,

00:32:49Mr Mazzini?

00:32:50Well, I would indeed,

00:32:51but I have a slight headache

00:32:52in the sun, I think,

00:32:53and I'm afraid the chemicals

00:32:54wouldn't improve it.

00:32:55Pity.

00:32:56Mr Mazzini and I

00:32:57will have tea

00:32:57under the tulip tree.

00:32:58I've always found that

00:33:00most beneficial

00:33:01for a headache.

00:33:07With milk,

00:33:08Mr Mazzini?

00:33:09Please.

00:33:13Mr Mazzini.

00:33:14Yes?

00:33:16I hope you will forgive me

00:33:18speaking to you

00:33:18on a more personal matter,

00:33:20but it worries me

00:33:21that Henry should spend

00:33:22so much time on his hobby

00:33:23that he's little left

00:33:24for any more useful activity.

00:33:26Has he never shown any wish

00:33:27for a career in politics?

00:33:29None.

00:33:30Nor any other ambitions?

00:33:32One only.

00:33:34To win a prize

00:33:35at the Salon of Photography

00:33:36in Brussels.

00:33:40Can you smell something burning,

00:33:41Mr Mazzini?

00:33:42Well, I expect they're burning

00:33:43some leaves at the bottom

00:33:44of the garden.

00:33:45But they can't be

00:33:45at this time of year.

00:33:48Oh, look!

00:33:49The potting shed's on fire!

00:33:50Henry!

00:33:51No, no, you stay here.

00:33:52I'll go.

00:33:53Henry!

00:33:55Henry!

00:33:56Henry!

00:33:58Needless to say,

00:33:59I was too late.

00:34:03The funeral service

00:34:04was held in the village church

00:34:06at Chalfont

00:34:07prior to internment

00:34:08in the family vault.

00:34:10Mrs Dascoyne,

00:34:12who had discerned in me

00:34:13a man of delicate sensibility

00:34:14and high purpose,

00:34:16asked me to accompany her

00:34:17on the cross-country journey.

00:34:20The occasion was interesting

00:34:21in that it provided me

00:34:23with my first sight

00:34:24of the Dascoines en masse.

00:34:27Interesting,

00:34:28but somewhat depressing,

00:34:30for it emphasised

00:34:31how far I had yet to travel.

00:34:34There was the Duke,

00:34:36Ethelred,

00:34:37whose wife and twin sons

00:34:38had fortunately died

00:34:40of diphtheria.

00:34:40There was my employer,

00:34:43Lord Ascoyne Dascoyne.

00:34:45The service element

00:34:47consisted of

00:34:48Admiral Lord Horatio Dascoyne

00:34:50and General Lord Rufus Dascoyne.

00:34:55Next to him

00:34:57was Lady Agatha Dascoyne.

00:35:00Rufus, wake up!

00:35:02Run here, run!

00:35:03Run, run, run!

00:35:04And in the pulpit,

00:35:06talking interminable nonsense,

00:35:09the Reverend Lord Henry Dascoyne.

00:35:10No exaggeration to say

00:35:13that the life cut short

00:35:16was one rich in achievement

00:35:18and promise of service

00:35:20to humanity.

00:35:22Amen.

00:35:26The Dascoyne certainly appeared

00:35:29to have accorded

00:35:29with the tradition

00:35:30of the landed gentry

00:35:31and sent the fool

00:35:32of the family

00:35:33into the church.

00:35:37Here's a carriage.

00:35:39Well, goodbye,

00:35:42Edith, my dear.

00:35:43Bye, Uncle Etheret.

00:35:45No fretting now.

00:35:46After all,

00:35:46one thing to be said,

00:35:47we all have to come to it.

00:35:49Great thing, you know,

00:35:50family of all like ours.

00:35:51Constant reminder

00:35:52of one's heritage.

00:35:53Now, take this

00:35:54newfangled cremation nonsense.

00:35:56Who wants to see

00:35:56his nearest and dearest

00:35:57put in an incinerator?

00:35:59I think, sir,

00:35:59Mrs. Dascoyne should leave

00:36:00the wind as turning cold.

00:36:02Ah,

00:36:03as Mrs. Dascoyne thinks best.

00:36:05I'm glad we had

00:36:05cousin Henry

00:36:06to take the service.

00:36:07Boring old ass,

00:36:08but he keeps a thing

00:36:09in the family,

00:36:10what, what.

00:36:10People getting strange ideas

00:36:12these days.

00:36:13Had a fellow write to me

00:36:14not so long ago

00:36:14wanting to bury his mother here

00:36:16from Tooting or somewhere.

00:36:18Start letting strangers in

00:36:19and the place will be full up.

00:36:20No room for us, eh?

00:36:21I privately promised him

00:36:25that I would make it

00:36:27my business to see

00:36:28there was room for him.

00:36:31Uncle Ethered is

00:36:32not the most tactful of men.

00:36:34Well, I could gladly

00:36:34have struck him.

00:36:36Thank you for intervening

00:36:37when you did.

00:36:38Oh, no, not at all.

00:36:40The house will be so empty

00:36:41when I get back.

00:36:44And yet he will be

00:36:45in it everywhere.

00:36:47I find the thought of life

00:36:48there hard to face.

00:36:50Well, must you stay there?

00:36:51A new environment to...

00:36:53I must.

00:36:54For one reason,

00:36:55if no other.

00:36:57I'd say I was running away.

00:36:59But there was truth

00:37:00in all these rumours.

00:37:01Rumours?

00:37:03In the village,

00:37:04there's been gossip.

00:37:06They say Henry drank

00:37:07in secret.

00:37:09No.

00:37:10They even say that

00:37:11that was the cause

00:37:12of the accident.

00:37:12Well, I'm sure that

00:37:13Henry would never have

00:37:14professed one thing

00:37:15and practiced another.

00:37:16I, too, am sure.

00:37:18Otherwise, I think

00:37:19I could not survive.

00:37:21We have a long way to go.

00:37:23Try to sleep a little.

00:37:25Sleep does not come easily.

00:37:27Please try.

00:37:28I was conscious

00:37:29that a new obsession

00:37:31was about to join

00:37:32the one that I should wear

00:37:33the coronet of the Duke

00:37:34of Chalfont.

00:37:35It was

00:37:36that Edith Dascoigne

00:37:38should wear that

00:37:38of the Duchess

00:37:39beside me.

00:37:40And I resolved

00:37:41to embark upon

00:37:42her courtship

00:37:43as soon as a decent

00:37:44period of mourning

00:37:45should have elapsed.

00:37:46A day or so later,

00:37:47my plans were

00:37:49materially advanced

00:37:51as the result

00:37:52of an unforeseen

00:37:53but highly agreeable

00:37:54conversation

00:37:54with my employer,

00:37:55Lord Ascoyne Dascoyne.

00:38:00Mancini.

00:38:01Yes, sir?

00:38:02I've watched your progress

00:38:03here with great care.

00:38:04In view of that,

00:38:05and in order that

00:38:06you may be able

00:38:07to adopt a style of living

00:38:08befitting a member

00:38:09of the Dascoyne family,

00:38:11I've decided to appoint

00:38:12you my private secretary

00:38:13at a salary

00:38:14of five hundred pounds

00:38:15per annum.

00:38:17Lord Ascoyne?

00:38:18Thank you, sir.

00:38:20I left the Hallward's house

00:38:21and took a bachelor

00:38:22apartment in St James's.

00:38:24Clapham no longer

00:38:25held Sybella's presence

00:38:26to compensate me

00:38:27for the tedious journey

00:38:28between the suburbs

00:38:29and the city.

00:38:30Anyhow,

00:38:30it would be vastly

00:38:31more convenient

00:38:32for her to visit me

00:38:33in my new surroundings.

00:38:36Louis,

00:38:37it's very wrong

00:38:38of me to visit you here.

00:38:39Why?

00:38:40A married woman

00:38:41calling on a bachelor,

00:38:43a dangerous bachelor.

00:38:44in his apartments.

00:38:46Aye,

00:38:47dangerous.

00:38:48These things only become

00:38:49wrong when people

00:38:49know about them.

00:38:50This is a very discreet

00:38:51apartment,

00:38:52that's why I chose it.

00:38:53So that young women

00:38:54could call on you

00:38:55in safety.

00:38:55So that one young woman

00:38:57could.

00:38:57How did you know

00:38:58she'd want to?

00:38:59I hoped.

00:39:01And how did you enjoy

00:39:02your honeymoon?

00:39:03Not at all.

00:39:03Not at all?

00:39:04Not at all.

00:39:06And how was Italy?

00:39:07Oh,

00:39:07impossible.

00:39:09Every time I wanted

00:39:10to go shopping,

00:39:11Lionel dragged me off

00:39:12to a church

00:39:13or picture gallery.

00:39:15He said he wanted

00:39:15to improve his mind.

00:39:17He has room to do so.

00:39:19I should reprove you

00:39:20for saying unkind

00:39:21things about him.

00:39:22But I can't.

00:39:24Oh, Louis,

00:39:24I think I've married

00:39:25the most boring man

00:39:26in London.

00:39:27In England?

00:39:28In Europe.

00:39:29Oh,

00:39:29the Italian men

00:39:30are so handsome

00:39:32that I can never

00:39:33get away from Lionel

00:39:34for a moment.

00:39:35Oh,

00:39:36but I was forgetting.

00:39:37You're Italian.

00:39:38Half?

00:39:39Louis,

00:39:40I can speak frankly

00:39:41to you,

00:39:41can't I?

00:39:42Well,

00:39:42if not to me,

00:39:43to whom?

00:39:43I shall go mad.

00:39:45Already,

00:39:46when he touches me,

00:39:47I want to scream.

00:39:49When you touch me,

00:39:50Louis,

00:39:50I want power.

00:39:53Oh,

00:39:53what am I doing?

00:39:54You know very well.

00:39:56You're playing with fire.

00:39:58At least it warns me.

00:40:01I must go.

00:40:02Lionel is dining

00:40:03at home tonight.

00:40:04And where is Lionel

00:40:05dining tomorrow night?

00:40:06With some business

00:40:07acquaintances.

00:40:08Ah,

00:40:08and where are you

00:40:09dining tomorrow night?

00:40:10Here?

00:40:11Here.

00:40:14Poor little

00:40:14imprisoned bird.

00:40:16While she was

00:40:17welcome to come

00:40:17and flutter

00:40:18her wings with me,

00:40:20I could think

00:40:20of many more

00:40:20disagreeable ways

00:40:21of killing time

00:40:22pending the arrival

00:40:23of the moment

00:40:24when the conventional

00:40:25decencies would

00:40:26permit me

00:40:27to make my

00:40:27declaration to Edith.

00:40:30As to the other

00:40:31undertaking,

00:40:31I had not forgotten

00:40:32or forgiven

00:40:33the boredom

00:40:34of the sermon

00:40:35at young Henry's

00:40:36funeral,

00:40:37and I decided

00:40:38to promote

00:40:38the Reverend

00:40:39Lord Henry

00:40:40Dascoyne

00:40:40to next place

00:40:42on the list.

00:40:44I therefore

00:40:44assumed the garb

00:40:46and character

00:40:46of a colonial bishop

00:40:48spending his vacation

00:40:49making a collection

00:40:50of brass rubbings

00:40:51from country churches.

00:40:53good evening,

00:41:01my lord.

00:41:07Good evening,

00:41:09my lord.

00:41:09Oh, good evening.

00:41:13I was just taking

00:41:14a rubbing

00:41:15of this most

00:41:17interesting brass.

00:41:18An ancestress

00:41:19of my dear

00:41:20late wife.

00:41:22Allow me

00:41:23to introduce

00:41:24myself.

00:41:25Henry Dascoyne,

00:41:27rector of this

00:41:28parish.

00:41:29Ah,

00:41:29Septimus Wilkinson,

00:41:31bishop of

00:41:31Matabeleland.

00:41:33I'm spending

00:41:33my vacation

00:41:34taking a cycling

00:41:35tour around

00:41:35your beautiful

00:41:36country churches.

00:41:36Ah,

00:41:38have you noticed

00:41:39our clerestory?

00:41:40The clerestory,

00:41:42uh,

00:41:43yes,

00:41:43exquisite.

00:41:45The corbels

00:41:46are very fine.

00:41:47Hmm.

00:41:48Perhaps your lordship

00:41:49would permit me

00:41:50to show you

00:41:51one or two other

00:41:52things in which

00:41:53we take a prize.

00:41:53I should be most

00:41:54interested.

00:41:56Well,

00:41:56our most notable

00:41:58features,

00:41:58of course,

00:42:00are the

00:42:00Dascoyne

00:42:01memorials.

00:42:02Indeed.

00:42:03Every member

00:42:04of the family,

00:42:05to a cadet branch

00:42:06of which I have

00:42:08the honour to

00:42:08belong,

00:42:09is buried here

00:42:11in the family

00:42:11vault.

00:42:12Oh,

00:42:12I see.

00:42:14The church

00:42:15is exceptionally

00:42:16endowed also

00:42:17with items

00:42:18of architectural

00:42:19interest.

00:42:20Hmm.

00:42:21You will note

00:42:22that our chantry

00:42:23displays the

00:42:24croqueted and

00:42:25finialed O.G.,

00:42:27which marks it

00:42:28as very early

00:42:29perpendicular.

00:42:30Hmm.

00:42:31The bosses

00:42:32to the pendant

00:42:34are typical,

00:42:36and I always say

00:42:37that my west

00:42:38window has all

00:42:40the exuberance

00:42:41of Chaucer

00:42:42without happily

00:42:44any of the

00:42:45concomitant

00:42:46crudities

00:42:47of his period.

00:42:48Oh,

00:42:48yes,

00:42:49yes,

00:42:49quite.

00:42:49Now we

00:42:51approach the

00:42:52front.

00:42:52Ah,

00:42:53the front.

00:42:55At last he

00:42:56did as I had

00:42:57hoped and

00:42:58invited me

00:42:58to dinner.

00:43:01The Reverend

00:43:02Lord Henry

00:43:02was not,

00:43:03I am glad

00:43:04to say,

00:43:05one of those

00:43:05newfangled

00:43:06parsons who

00:43:07carry the

00:43:07principles of

00:43:08their vocation

00:43:09uncomfortably

00:43:10into private

00:43:11life.

00:43:12My lord,

00:43:13the port is

00:43:14with you.

00:43:14Ah,

00:43:15ah,

00:43:15thank you,

00:43:16thank you.

00:43:16How do you

00:43:22find the

00:43:23wine?

00:43:25Mmm,

00:43:26admirable.

00:43:27Coburn 69.

00:43:29Mmm,

00:43:30no finer

00:43:30year in my

00:43:31view.

00:43:32My doctor,

00:43:33though,

00:43:33is of a

00:43:34different opinion.

00:43:35And what

00:43:35does he

00:43:35favour?

00:43:36Total

00:43:37abstinence,

00:43:38I regret

00:43:39to say.

00:43:40Dear me,

00:43:40dear me.

00:43:41Would you

00:43:42care for a

00:43:43cigar?

00:43:45Excuse me,

00:43:46while I get

00:43:47you one.

00:43:50No,

00:43:51my doctor

00:43:52is continually

00:43:53warning me

00:43:54about the

00:43:54state of

00:43:55my arteries.

00:43:57But I

00:43:57say to him,

00:43:58what possible

00:43:59harm can

00:44:00there be

00:44:01in one

00:44:01glass of

00:44:02an evening?

00:44:05Or even

00:44:06two?

00:44:06Well,

00:44:06what harm

00:44:07indeed?

00:44:08You do

00:44:08not condemn

00:44:09me,

00:44:09then?

00:44:09Oh,

00:44:10not the

00:44:10least.

00:44:10There,

00:44:13my lord.

00:44:15I think

00:44:15you'll find

00:44:16this cigar

00:44:16as admirable

00:44:17in its

00:44:18way as

00:44:19the

00:44:19Coburn

00:44:1969.

00:44:21Thank

00:44:21you.

00:44:22If I

00:44:23may say

00:44:23so,

00:44:24without

00:44:25disrespect

00:44:25to my

00:44:26superiors,

00:44:27your visit

00:44:28has brought

00:44:29me something

00:44:29which I

00:44:30could not

00:44:30expect from

00:44:32any churchman

00:44:33in this

00:44:33country.

00:44:34It had

00:44:35indeed,

00:44:36for the

00:44:36arsenic

00:44:37which I

00:44:38had

00:44:38purloined

00:44:39for young

00:44:39Henry and

00:44:40had not

00:44:41used,

00:44:42was now

00:44:42dissolving in

00:44:43old Henry's

00:44:44fourth glass

00:44:44of Coburn

00:44:4569.

00:44:57On my

00:44:57return to

00:44:58London,

00:44:58I decided

00:44:59to proceed

00:44:59methodically

00:45:00with the

00:45:00elimination

00:45:01of the

00:45:01remaining

00:45:02minor

00:45:02obstacles.

00:45:04Lady

00:45:04Agatha

00:45:04Dascoyne

00:45:05was a

00:45:05pioneer

00:45:06in the

00:45:06campaign

00:45:06for

00:45:07women's

00:45:07suffrage.

00:45:09Votes

00:45:11for

00:45:11women!

00:45:12Votes

00:45:12for

00:45:12women!

00:45:13Down

00:45:14with

00:45:14male

00:45:14tyranny!

00:45:15With

00:45:16the

00:45:16inconvenient

00:45:17consequence

00:45:18that Lady

00:45:18Agatha's

00:45:19public

00:45:19appearances

00:45:19were

00:45:20invariably

00:45:20made

00:45:21under the

00:45:21watchful

00:45:21eyes of

00:45:22the

00:45:22Metropolitan

00:45:22Police,

00:45:24and when

00:45:24she was

00:45:24not making

00:45:25public

00:45:25appearances,

00:45:26she was

00:45:26in prison,

00:45:27and still

00:45:28more

00:45:28inaccessible.

00:45:30Secret

00:45:30plans have

00:45:31been made

00:45:31for Lady

00:45:32Agatha

00:45:32to celebrate

00:45:33her latest

00:45:33release from

00:45:34Holloway

00:45:35by ascending

00:45:35in a

00:45:36balloon

00:45:36and dropping

00:45:37a shower

00:45:38of leaflets

00:45:38over Whitehall

00:45:39on the

00:45:39west end.

00:45:41On hearing

00:45:41of this,

00:45:42I had a

00:45:43brainwave.

00:45:44Not for

00:45:45nothing had

00:45:45I been an

00:45:46ardent

00:45:46toxophilite in

00:45:47my late

00:45:48teens.

00:45:50Good morning,

00:45:51sir.

00:45:51I want a

00:45:52bow and

00:45:52arrow.

00:45:53Pass the

00:46:00leaflets up

00:46:00one bottle

00:46:01at a

00:46:01time.

00:46:02That's

00:46:03right.

00:46:04Steady

00:46:04on the

00:46:04ropes,

00:46:05sir.

00:46:06No,

00:46:06dear,

00:46:06that's

00:46:07the

00:46:07balance.

00:46:08Steady,

00:46:09Miss

00:46:09Harbuckle.

00:46:10Pull

00:46:10on the

00:46:10ropes,

00:46:11sir.

00:46:12Keep

00:46:12the

00:46:12basket

00:46:13level.

00:46:14Police!

00:46:18Nonsense!

00:46:19Cut

00:46:19the

00:46:20anchor!

00:46:21Anchors

00:46:21away!

00:46:23Perfectly

00:46:31composed,

00:46:31I waited

00:46:32by the

00:46:32window of

00:46:32my

00:46:32apartment.

00:46:34My

00:46:34meteorological

00:46:35calculations

00:46:35proved

00:46:36correct.

00:46:37Born

00:46:37steadily

00:46:38along on

00:46:38the

00:46:39prevailing

00:46:39wind,

00:46:40Lady

00:46:40Agatha

00:46:41hove in

00:46:42sight.

00:46:43I took

00:46:44careful aim

00:46:45and fired.

00:46:47I shot

00:46:48an arrow

00:46:49in the

00:46:49air.

00:46:53She fell

00:46:55to earth

00:46:56in

00:46:56Barclays

00:46:56Square.

00:47:00Admiral

00:47:00Lord

00:47:01Horatio

00:47:01Descoyne

00:47:02presented a

00:47:02more difficult

00:47:03problem.

00:47:04He

00:47:05scarcely

00:47:05ever set

00:47:06foot

00:47:06ashore,

00:47:07and I

00:47:07was beginning

00:47:08to feel

00:47:08that this

00:47:09task was

00:47:09beyond even

00:47:10my

00:47:10ingenuity

00:47:11when he

00:47:11was

00:47:11conveniently

00:47:12involved

00:47:13in a

00:47:13naval

00:47:13disaster,

00:47:14which arose

00:47:15from a

00:47:16combination

00:47:16of natural

00:47:17obstinacy

00:47:17and a

00:47:18certain

00:47:19confusion

00:47:19of mind,

00:47:21unfortunate

00:47:21in one

00:47:22of his

00:47:22rank.

00:47:26Full

00:47:27speed

00:47:27ahead.

00:47:28In this

00:47:28park,

00:47:29sir?

00:47:29Full

00:47:30speed

00:47:30ahead,

00:47:31captain.

00:47:31But

00:47:32Admiral

00:47:32Descoyne...

00:47:33Am I

00:47:34in command

00:47:34of this

00:47:35ship,

00:47:35or you,

00:47:36sir?

00:47:36I am,

00:47:37sir.

00:47:40Full

00:47:40speed

00:47:41ahead.

00:47:42Destroy

00:47:42all the

00:47:43port

00:47:43barrels,

00:47:43sir.

00:47:44Bring

00:47:44out

00:47:45a

00:47:45port,

00:47:45captain.

00:47:46Surely

00:47:46you mean

00:47:46stop

00:47:47it,

00:47:47sir?

00:47:48Port!

00:47:57Both

00:47:58ships sank

00:47:59almost

00:48:00immediately,

00:48:01though

00:48:01fortunately

00:48:02all hands

00:48:02were saved,

00:48:04save one.

00:48:05Admiral

00:48:06Lord

00:48:06Horatio,

00:48:07obstinate

00:48:08to the

00:48:08last,

00:48:09insisted

00:48:10on going

00:48:10down

00:48:10with his

00:48:11ship.

00:48:14General

00:48:24Lord

00:48:24Rufus

00:48:25Descoyne,

00:48:25on the

00:48:25other hand,

00:48:26who never

00:48:26tired of

00:48:27demonstrating

00:48:27how he'd

00:48:28fought the

00:48:28most calamitous

00:48:29campaign of the

00:48:30South African

00:48:30War,

00:48:31was a fairly

00:48:32easy proposition.

00:48:34It seemed

00:48:34appropriate that

00:48:35he who had

00:48:36lived amidst

00:48:37the cannon's

00:48:38roar should

00:48:39die explosively.

00:48:41I therefore

00:48:42concealed in a

00:48:43pot of

00:48:43caviar a

00:48:44simple but

00:48:46powerful

00:48:46homemade

00:48:47bomb,

00:48:48and through

00:48:49the post

00:48:50I sent

00:48:51caviar to

00:48:51the general.

00:48:53Humph!

00:48:54Caviar!

00:48:55No wonder who

00:48:56said that.

00:48:57Good stuff.

00:48:58Used to get a

00:48:58lot of it in

00:48:59the crime in.

00:49:00One thing the

00:49:00Ruskies do

00:49:01really well.

00:49:02What was I

00:49:02saying?

00:49:03When you

00:49:03were a

00:49:04subaltern?

00:49:05Ah,

00:49:05gad,

00:49:05yes.

00:49:06We weren't

00:49:06wet nurse then,

00:49:07I can tell you.

00:49:08Stood me in good

00:49:09stead in the

00:49:09last war.

00:49:09You remember

00:49:10it's spying

00:49:11cop?

00:49:12Enemy concealed

00:49:12behind the

00:49:13small cops here,

00:49:1424 foot dug

00:49:15in here,

00:49:16suddenly they're

00:49:17charged,

00:49:18downhill.

00:49:19I held our

00:49:20guns fire until

00:49:22I could see the

00:49:22whites of their

00:49:23eyes.

00:49:24Assume this

00:49:25pot of caviar

00:49:26is the

00:49:26battery.

00:49:27Then I gave

00:49:28the order,

00:49:29fire!

00:49:36One could

00:49:37almost believe

00:49:37there was a

00:49:38curse on our

00:49:39unfortunate

00:49:39family,

00:49:40Mazzini.

00:49:40Indeed,

00:49:41Lord Asquan,

00:49:42one could.

00:49:42I don't know

00:49:43if you realise

00:49:44how close this

00:49:44series of

00:49:45tragedies has

00:49:45brought you

00:49:46to the

00:49:46succession.

00:49:47Do you

00:49:47mean...

00:49:48Do you not

00:49:48realise that

00:49:49you are

00:49:49heir presumptive

00:49:50to the

00:49:50dukedom?

00:49:51That is to

00:49:52say,

00:49:53in the event

00:49:53of the

00:49:53present duke

00:49:54Ethelred

00:49:55dying without

00:49:55issue,

00:49:56I alone

00:49:57intervene

00:49:57between you

00:49:58and the

00:49:58title.

00:49:58But sir,

00:49:59you...

00:49:59And I

00:49:59am an

00:50:00old man.

00:50:01I have

00:50:01never really

00:50:02recovered from

00:50:03the first of

00:50:03these calamities.

00:50:05Do you

00:50:05mean that I

00:50:06might become

00:50:06Duke of

00:50:08Chalford?

00:50:08I mean that

00:50:09you almost

00:50:09certainly will.

00:50:11And in view

00:50:11of that,

00:50:12I feel it

00:50:13would be more

00:50:13fitting that

00:50:14you should

00:50:14cease to be

00:50:15an employee

00:50:15here and

00:50:16become instead

00:50:17my partner.

00:50:18one of my

00:50:33first tasks as

00:50:34partner was

00:50:35to interview

00:50:35Lionel, who

00:50:36came cap, or

00:50:38rather silk hat,

00:50:39in hand.

00:50:41The fact is,

00:50:42old boy, we

00:50:43sold short and

00:50:44the market hasn't

00:50:45dropped as we

00:50:46expected.

00:50:46Yes, I feel

00:50:47entitled to

00:50:47point out that

00:50:48we here in

00:50:48this bank regard

00:50:49our function as

00:50:50the encouragement

00:50:50of constructive

00:50:51investment and

00:50:52not the financing

00:50:53of mere gambling

00:50:54transactions.

00:50:55I know, old

00:50:56boy, but it's

00:50:57like this.

00:50:58At the same

00:50:58time, however,

00:50:59we generally

00:50:59prepare to give

00:51:00a client a

00:51:00second chance.

00:51:01We will

00:51:01renew at

00:51:02three and a

00:51:03half percent.

00:51:04Three and a

00:51:05half percent?

00:51:07Isn't that a

00:51:07bit steep?

00:51:08It would have

00:51:09delighted me to

00:51:10refuse him.

00:51:12However, a

00:51:12bankrupt Lionel

00:51:13could hardly have

00:51:14continued to

00:51:14support Sybella

00:51:15in her

00:51:16extravagances,

00:51:17and I had

00:51:17no wish to

00:51:18do so myself,

00:51:20especially as I

00:51:20judged that the

00:51:21time was now

00:51:22ripe to make a

00:51:22move in the

00:51:23matter of Edith

00:51:24Dascoyne.

00:51:27Mrs.

00:51:27Dascoyne, I'm

00:51:29now going to say

00:51:30something presumptuous,

00:51:32and you must order

00:51:32me from your house

00:51:33if you wish.

00:51:35It is this.

00:51:36If you should

00:51:37ever feel that

00:51:39the constant support

00:51:40of a devoted

00:51:41admirer would be

00:51:42of assistance to

00:51:42you, I should

00:51:44be most honoured

00:51:45if you would

00:51:46permit me to

00:51:47offer you my

00:51:47hand in

00:51:48marriage.

00:51:51Mr.

00:51:51Pazzini,

00:51:52this is a

00:51:54shock.

00:51:56I am most

00:51:58touched, most

00:51:59grateful, but I

00:52:02could not consider

00:52:03even the possibility

00:52:04of remarrying.

00:52:04Yes, yes, yes,

00:52:07of course you're

00:52:08right, I've spoken

00:52:08too boldly, and

00:52:09do forgive me far

00:52:10too soon.

00:52:11Please only

00:52:12regard what I have

00:52:13said merely as

00:52:14something to draw

00:52:14upon should you

00:52:15ever feel so

00:52:16inclined.

00:52:17Cybella was

00:52:18waiting for me

00:52:19when I got back.

00:52:20I was pleased to

00:52:21see her, for

00:52:22while I never

00:52:23admired Edith as

00:52:24much as when I

00:52:24was with Cybella,

00:52:26I never longed

00:52:27for Cybella as

00:52:28much as when I

00:52:29was with Edith.

00:52:31I'm afraid I'm

00:52:31late.

00:52:32Have you been

00:52:32bored?

00:52:33No.

00:52:34I've been

00:52:34looking into the

00:52:35fire and thinking.

00:52:36What about?

00:52:37Oh, how we used

00:52:38to roast chestnuts

00:52:39around the other

00:52:40fire, and what a

00:52:41lot has happened

00:52:42since.

00:52:43Such as?

00:52:44How you told me

00:52:45not to marry

00:52:45Lionel because you

00:52:46might be Duke one

00:52:47day, and how I

00:52:48laughed at you, and

00:52:50how I married Lionel

00:52:51and now you very

00:52:52nearly are a Duke.

00:52:53We are much better

00:52:54off as we are, you

00:52:55and I.

00:52:55It's all very well

00:52:56for you to say

00:52:57that.

00:52:58You're not married

00:52:58to Lionel.

00:52:59Let me get you a

00:53:00glass of wine.

00:53:00Thank you, Louis.

00:53:02The advantage of our

00:53:03association,

00:53:04is that we see

00:53:04each other when we

00:53:05want to, and we're

00:53:06not obliged to see

00:53:07each other when we

00:53:07don't want to.

00:53:09We don't see each

00:53:10other as often as

00:53:10I'd like to.

00:53:12You've been away the

00:53:13whole weekend.

00:53:13Yes, I had to go.

00:53:15Why?

00:53:15I think you'll find this

00:53:18Madeira very much to

00:53:20your taste.

00:53:21You haven't answered

00:53:22my question.

00:53:23Oh, uh, to see

00:53:25Mrs. Dascoigne, the

00:53:26widow of that cousin

00:53:27of mine who was

00:53:27killed.

00:53:28All your cousins seem

00:53:29to get killed.

00:53:31I really wouldn't be

00:53:32in the least surprised

00:53:33if you'd murdered

00:53:34them all yourself.

00:53:35Oh, goodness me, how

00:53:38clumsy of me am.

00:53:39I'm sorry.

00:53:40Louis.

00:53:41Hmm.

00:53:42Who ever made you

00:53:43say that?

00:53:45Just silliness.

00:53:48Well, if you promise

00:53:49not to tell anyone,

00:53:51I'll let you into my

00:53:52guilty secret.

00:53:53I did murder them

00:53:56all.

00:53:57Hmm.

00:53:59I've suspected it

00:54:00for a long time.

00:54:03What's she like?

00:54:04Who?

00:54:05Mrs. Dascoigne.

00:54:06Oh, she's, um,

00:54:08tall, slander.

00:54:10Beautiful?

00:54:11Yes, I suppose some

00:54:12people would call her

00:54:13beautiful.

00:54:14Would you?

00:54:15I suppose so.

00:54:16Never really thought

00:54:17about it.

00:54:18What would you say if

00:54:19she asked you about

00:54:19me?

00:54:21I'd say you were

00:54:23the perfect combination

00:54:25of imperfections.

00:54:26I'd say that your nose

00:54:27was just a little too

00:54:28short, your mouth just

00:54:29a little too wide, but

00:54:30yours was a face that a

00:54:31man could see in his

00:54:32dreams for the whole of

00:54:33his life.

00:54:33I'd say that you were

00:54:34vain, selfish, cruel,

00:54:37deceitful.

00:54:37I'd say that you were

00:54:39adorable.

00:54:40I'd say you were

00:54:42Isabella.

00:54:44What a pretty speech.

00:54:45I mean it.

00:54:47Come and say it to me

00:54:48again.

00:54:51Shortly afterwards,

00:54:53my employer had a

00:54:54stroke.

00:54:56There was little that

00:54:57could be done, and the

00:54:58doctor gave him a month

00:54:59at the most to live.

00:55:01I was glad, after all his

00:55:03kindness to me, that I

00:55:04should not have to kill

00:55:05the old man.

00:55:07Soon the only obstacle

00:55:09between me and my

00:55:10inheritance would be Duke

00:55:12Ethelred himself.

00:55:15I could lay no plan for

00:55:16disposing of him, as the

00:55:18life he led within the

00:55:19great stone walls of

00:55:20Chalfont Castle was a

00:55:22closed book to me.

00:55:24I was gloomily examining

00:55:25the problem for the

00:55:26hundredth time, as I

00:55:28awaited one day the

00:55:30expected arrival of

00:55:31Isabella at my

00:55:32apartments.

00:55:34Coming!

00:55:39Good afternoon, Mr.

00:55:40Mazzini.

00:55:41Mrs.

00:55:41Daskine.

00:55:43I was passing through

00:55:44St.

00:55:44James, and I thought I

00:55:46would take the opportunity

00:55:47to call on you.

00:55:47Well, was that wise?

00:55:49I mean, discreet.

00:55:52There are some

00:55:52conventions which must be

00:55:54governed by individual

00:55:54circumstances.

00:55:57Surely it is safe for a

00:55:58woman to visit a man of

00:55:58your reputation.

00:55:59No, it is of your

00:56:00reputation that I'm

00:56:01thinking.

00:56:02Without being

00:56:02inhospitable, I'd be

00:56:05happier if your visit

00:56:05were not a long one.

00:56:07But please, do come in.

00:56:09I appreciate the

00:56:14scrupulousness of your

00:56:15motives.

00:56:17I have, anyhow, only one

00:56:18important matter to speak

00:56:19of.

00:56:20And that is?

00:56:21I have thought a great

00:56:23deal about what you said

00:56:24to me at our last

00:56:24meeting, and I've

00:56:26reconsidered the offer

00:56:27you made to me.

00:56:29Thank you again for it,

00:56:30and accept it gladly.

00:56:32Oh.

00:56:34You, um, robbed me of

00:56:36words.

00:56:37I think, however, we

00:56:39should make no

00:56:39announcement for three

00:56:40months at least.

00:56:41Well, as you think best.

00:56:42Do you not think, though,

00:56:43that perhaps Uncle

00:56:44Ethelred as head of the

00:56:45family should be told at

00:56:46once?

00:56:46Perhaps so.

00:56:48Yes, yes, I'll write to

00:56:50him.

00:56:51Goodbye, Louis.

00:56:54Goodbye.

00:56:56Edith, you'll leave

00:56:57behind you the happiest

00:56:59man in London.

00:57:01This was not a piece of

00:57:02news which I was looking

00:57:03forward to breaking to

00:57:04Sir Bella.

00:57:05She had no rights in

00:57:07the matter, but women

00:57:08have a disconcerting

00:57:09ability to make scenes

00:57:10out of nothing, and to

00:57:11prove themselves injured

00:57:12when they themselves are

00:57:13at fault.

00:57:15A day or so later, I

00:57:16received a letter from

00:57:17Lionel.

00:57:19He requested an

00:57:20interview with me at his

00:57:22house on a matter of

00:57:23some delicacy.

00:57:25I was somewhat perturbed,

00:57:27for nine times out of

00:57:28ten, what is referred to

00:57:30as a matter of some

00:57:31delicacy is, in point of

00:57:32fact, one of extreme

00:57:34indelicacy.

00:57:36Two days later,

00:57:37therefore, I made the

00:57:39tedious journey to

00:57:40Bayswater.

00:57:41It was typical of Lionel

00:57:43that he should live on the

00:57:43wrong side of the park.

00:57:46Always admired the

00:57:47sporting way in which you

00:57:48took Sir Bella marrying me

00:57:49and not you.

00:57:51Some fellows would have

00:57:52taken it very differently.

00:57:54But may the best man win,

00:57:56you said.

00:57:57And when I won, you

00:57:59behave like a gentleman.

00:58:01You sure you won't have a

00:58:03drink?

00:58:03No, thank you.

00:58:04Never during the day.

00:58:06I thought, as you'd been

00:58:08keen on Sir Bella at one

00:58:10time, and you and I are

00:58:11old friends, I'd ask you

00:58:13to help us.

00:58:15Help you?

00:58:17I told you, some time

00:58:19back, business hasn't been

00:58:20going so well.

00:58:22Since then, it's gone

00:58:23worse.

00:58:25I'm bankrupt.

00:58:27So I said to myself, why

00:58:29not talk to my old pal,

00:58:30Louis Mazzini, who used to

00:58:32have such jolly times with

00:58:33round the old nursery fire

00:58:35roasting chestnuts?

00:58:36I'm afraid your memory is

00:58:37deceiving you.

00:58:38By no stretch of the

00:58:39imagination could you and

00:58:40I be described as ever

00:58:40having been pals.

00:58:42And if I remember correctly,

00:58:44we detested each other

00:58:45cordially from the first

00:58:46day we met with the

00:58:47detestation which increased

00:58:48with our years.

00:58:50Always thought of you as a

00:58:51pal.

00:58:53Always have done.

00:58:54That's why I said to

00:58:55myself...

00:58:56It's only fair to warn you

00:58:57that any further expense of

00:58:58breath on this subject will

00:58:59be a complete waste of time.

00:59:00You know what you're doing,

00:59:02condemning me to death.

00:59:03What do you mean?

00:59:04It's the only way out for me.

00:59:05Do away with myself.

00:59:07If you knew how absurd

00:59:08these histrionics sound.

00:59:10I'm insured.

00:59:11At least the little woman

00:59:12will be provided for.

00:59:13Oh, don't be ridiculous.

00:59:14Louis, I appeal to you.

00:59:15On my knees, I appeal to you.

00:59:18Not for my sake, but for the

00:59:19sake of the little woman.

00:59:21Please rise from that

00:59:22absurd position.

00:59:24All I can say is I think

00:59:27you're a cad.

00:59:29A selfish cad.

00:59:30Let me remind you of a

00:59:31little not-so-ancient history.

00:59:32When I was a draper's

00:59:34assistant and you were

00:59:35rich father's son, you

00:59:36showed me no kindness.

00:59:38Now our positions are

00:59:39reversed and you come

00:59:40whining to me for favours.

00:59:43Draper's assistant.

00:59:46That's right.

00:59:47Rotten little counter-jumper,

00:59:49that's all you are.

00:59:50Very high and mighty now,

00:59:52but your mother married

00:59:53an Italian organ-gringer.

00:59:54Get up out of that chair.

00:59:56Eh?

00:59:56I said get up.

00:59:58I will not tolerate hearing

00:59:59my mother's name on your

01:00:01coarse lips.

01:00:02So, you want to fight?

01:00:04Well, whatever else,

01:00:06Lionel Holland is not a coward.

01:00:07There seems no point in

01:00:08prolonging this vulgar brawl

01:00:09and I refuse to demean myself

01:00:11by fighting with a drunken

01:00:12oath.

01:00:15If you take my advice,

01:00:16you'll pick yourself up and

01:00:17go and put your head under a

01:00:18coat.

01:00:22When I got back to my

01:00:24apartment, I took a bath

01:00:26and decided to relax for

01:00:27half an hour and efface

01:00:28this disagreeable scene

01:00:30from my memory.

01:00:32I was not allowed to

01:00:33relax for long.

01:00:38Sybella!

01:00:40Oh, Louis...

01:00:41Really, Sybella, you do

01:00:42choose the most unusual

01:00:43hours to visit a fellow.

01:00:44Well, you'd better come in.

01:00:45I'm sorry to worry you

01:00:46when you must be so busy,

01:00:47that I have a piece of

01:00:49important news.

01:00:51Bad news.

01:00:53I thought you ought to

01:00:54know at once.

01:00:56Lionel has found out

01:00:57about us.

01:00:58About my coming here.

01:00:59Oh, really?

01:01:00Yes.

01:01:01Oh.

01:01:02I had the most dreadful

01:01:04scene with him last night.

01:01:05Well, I suppose even

01:01:06Lionel isn't stupid enough

01:01:07to be deceived forever.

01:01:09You won't take it so

01:01:10calmly when you hear.

01:01:12He's going to start

01:01:13divorce proceedings.

01:01:15Well, how very

01:01:15unsophisticated of him.

01:01:17There's only one way

01:01:18out that I can see.

01:01:19And that is?

01:01:20Lionel is still in love

01:01:22with me.

01:01:23My happiness is all

01:01:24he cares about.

01:01:25He might do the

01:01:26gentlemanly thing

01:01:27and let me divorce him.

01:01:30If?

01:01:31If I were in a position

01:01:33to explain to him

01:01:34that otherwise

01:01:35he would be jeopardizing

01:01:36the social position

01:01:37not only of the

01:01:38future Duke

01:01:39but also of the

01:01:41future Duchess

01:01:42of Chalfont.

01:01:43I see.

01:01:46Well, you're a clever

01:01:47little thing,

01:01:48Cybella,

01:01:48but not quite clever

01:01:49enough.

01:01:50What do you mean?

01:01:52I mean

01:01:53that not only

01:01:54do I know

01:01:55that you're

01:01:55blackmailing me,

01:01:56an ugly word

01:01:57but the only

01:01:57appropriate one,

01:01:58but I also know

01:01:59that you're bluffing.

01:02:01Call my bluffing

01:02:02C.

01:02:03I will.

01:02:04It so happens

01:02:05that I was with

01:02:05Lionel less than

01:02:06an hour ago

01:02:07and it was

01:02:08transparently clear

01:02:09from his demeanor

01:02:09and conversation

01:02:10that he hadn't

01:02:11the faintest suspicion

01:02:12that you and I

01:02:13had any relationship

01:02:14other than that of,

01:02:15as he would probably

01:02:16put it,

01:02:17old pals who used

01:02:19to roast chestnuts

01:02:20together round the

01:02:20jolly old nursery

01:02:21fire.

01:02:23So, while thanking

01:02:24you for the honour

01:02:25that you've done me,

01:02:26I must decline

01:02:27your offer

01:02:28because I have

01:02:29other arrangements

01:02:30which make it

01:02:31impossible for me

01:02:32to accept.

01:02:34Namely?

01:02:35I'm surely going

01:02:35to announce my

01:02:36engagement to

01:02:37Mrs. Daskoin.

01:02:39May I say

01:02:40that I think

01:02:41you've behaved

01:02:41despicably.

01:02:44And has it ever

01:02:45occurred to you,

01:02:45Sibella,

01:02:46that we serve

01:02:47each other right,

01:02:48you and I?

01:02:50Would it be asking

01:02:51too much of your

01:02:52manners to escort

01:02:54me to the door?

01:02:55I had suspected

01:02:57that to confide

01:02:58the secret of my

01:02:59engagement to

01:03:00Mrs. Daskoin

01:03:01to the Duke

01:03:01might be an

01:03:02adroit manoeuvre

01:03:03and I was

01:03:04proved correct

01:03:05for it produced

01:03:06an invitation

01:03:07for Edith and

01:03:08me to spend

01:03:08a few days

01:03:09at the castle.

01:03:11I must confess

01:03:12that I could

01:03:13not suppress

01:03:14an agreeable

01:03:14sensation of

01:03:15triumph as I

01:03:16approached the

01:03:17gateway.

01:03:18It was just

01:03:19an informal

01:03:20little house

01:03:20party.

01:03:21Our fellow

01:03:22guests were

01:03:22Lady Redpole

01:03:23and her daughter

01:03:25Maud,

01:03:26who most suitably

01:03:27resembled nothing

01:03:28so much as a

01:03:28Redpole cow

01:03:29and had little

01:03:30more conversational

01:03:31ability.

01:03:33Did you go to

01:03:34the opera this

01:03:35season?

01:03:36No.

01:03:38In the afternoon,

01:03:40Ethel had invited

01:03:41me to inspect

01:03:42the castle.

01:03:43I had never been

01:03:44in a building so

01:03:45lavishly equipped

01:03:46with the instruments

01:03:47of violent death.

01:03:49Build the weight

01:03:49of that sword.

01:03:51Our ancestors

01:03:51must have been

01:03:52fine men,

01:03:53Louis.

01:03:53They seemed

01:03:54however ill-adapted

01:03:56to the discreet

01:03:57requirements of

01:03:5820th century

01:03:59homicide and

01:04:00the end of the

01:04:00day found my

01:04:01host still

01:04:02intact and

01:04:03myself still

01:04:04without a

01:04:04plan.

01:04:07Try this.

01:04:08Coburn 69.

01:04:10What?

01:04:11Coburn 69.

01:04:13Family favourite,

01:04:14so to speak.

01:04:15Old Henry was

01:04:16inordinately fond of it.

01:04:17Yes, I believe.

01:04:19They say young

01:04:20Henry drank too,

01:04:21you know.

01:04:21Oh, surely not.

01:04:22I wouldn't say

01:04:23anything to his

01:04:24wife, of course.

01:04:27Beautiful woman,

01:04:27Edith.

01:04:28You're a lucky

01:04:28fellow, Louis.

01:04:30I never ceased

01:04:31to be conscious

01:04:32of it.

01:04:32I suppose I

01:04:33ought to call you

01:04:33Louis, now you're

01:04:34one of the family.

01:04:35Have a nut.

01:04:38What do you

01:04:38think of Maud?

01:04:39Well, a charming

01:04:40girl, though perhaps

01:04:41at times her

01:04:42conversation is a

01:04:43little lacking in

01:04:44sparkle.

01:04:45Most boring

01:04:45woman I've ever

01:04:46met.

01:04:47Only got two

01:04:47interests in life,

01:04:48her stomach and

01:04:49her horses.

01:04:50Plain, too, but

01:04:51good breeding stock.

01:04:52Oh, yes, good

01:04:53breeding stock,

01:04:54the Red Poles,

01:04:55and they litter a

01:04:55very high proportion

01:04:56of boys.

01:04:57Do I gather you

01:04:59to mean...

01:04:59Spoke to old lady

01:05:00Red Pole this

01:05:01afternoon.

01:05:01Only too glad to

01:05:02get the girl off

01:05:03her hands.

01:05:03Oh, my

01:05:04congratulations.

01:05:05Duty to the

01:05:06family, really.

01:05:07When does the

01:05:08union take place?

01:05:10Very soon.

01:05:11I'm not growing

01:05:12any younger.

01:05:13Mightn't get a son

01:05:14first time either.

01:05:15Have a quiet

01:05:16wedding, I thought.

01:05:17We shall

01:05:18honeymoon on the

01:05:18Riviera, and then

01:05:20go on to Italy

01:05:20afterwards.

01:05:22No sense in

01:05:22inflicting her on

01:05:23one's friends.

01:05:25Oh, yeah, when

01:05:25she's got a family,

01:05:26that'll keep her out

01:05:27of the way.

01:05:28This news threw

01:05:30me into such

01:05:30distress of mind

01:05:31that had I had

01:05:32poison in my

01:05:33possession, I would

01:05:34probably have

01:05:35administered it to

01:05:36Etherud there and

01:05:36then, and chanced

01:05:37the consequent

01:05:38inquiries.

01:05:39One thing was

01:05:40clear.

01:05:40If I did not

01:05:42succeed in

01:05:42disposing of him

01:05:43during this present

01:05:44visit to the

01:05:45castle, I was

01:05:45likely to see the

01:05:46ruin of my whole

01:05:47campaign.

01:05:49Next morning, I

01:05:51went out shooting

01:05:52with Ethelred, or

01:05:54rather to watch

01:05:54Ethelred's shooting,

01:05:56for my principles

01:05:57will not allow me to

01:05:58take a direct part

01:05:59in blood sports.

01:06:06Ah, left to the

01:06:07right, by God.

01:06:08What do you think

01:06:09of that, Louis?

01:06:09Remarkable.

01:06:11Morning, Your

01:06:12Grace.

01:06:12Been round the

01:06:13traps yet, Hoskins?

01:06:14Not yet, Your

01:06:14Grace.

01:06:16Don't call that

01:06:16way, sir.

01:06:17Oh, why?

01:06:19Got a trap

01:06:19sit there, sir.

01:06:20Oh, my God, so

01:06:21you have.

01:06:22I shouldn't like to

01:06:23get caught in that.

01:06:25What's it for?

01:06:27Been losing so much

01:06:28game lately.

01:06:29Had to start

01:06:29setting the man

01:06:30traps again.

01:06:31Place is stiff

01:06:32with poachers.

01:06:33Did you ever

01:06:33catch any this

01:06:34way?

01:06:34Called one

01:06:34yesterday.

01:06:35And what do

01:06:35you do with

01:06:36them, charge them?

01:06:36No, Hoskins

01:06:37thrashes them and

01:06:38lets them go.

01:06:39They don't poach

01:06:40on my land

01:06:40again, I can

01:06:41tell you.

01:06:42All right,

01:06:43Hoskins, keep

01:06:44moving the traps

01:06:45around or the

01:06:45blighters will tell

01:06:46each other where

01:06:46they are.

01:06:47Yes, Your

01:06:47Grace.

01:06:48Ah.

01:06:50Getting on for

01:06:51lunchtime.

01:06:52Shall we go back?

01:06:53Yeah, by all

01:06:53means.

01:06:55Oh.

01:06:56Not something.

01:06:57Yes, um, my

01:06:59cigarette case.

01:07:00I must have

01:07:00dropped it back

01:07:00there when we

01:07:01were talking to

01:07:01Hoskins.

01:07:02You go on.

01:07:03I'll catch you

01:07:03up.

01:07:07Can you manage

01:07:07that thing by

01:07:08yourself, Hoskins?

01:07:09Yes, thank you,

01:07:10sir.

01:07:10Where are you

01:07:11putting it?

01:07:11By this

01:07:12helm, sir.

01:07:13I've got a

01:07:13notion these

01:07:14ruffians come up

01:07:14the gully here.

01:07:16Are you looking

01:07:17for something,

01:07:18sir?

01:07:19Uh, no, no,

01:07:20it's all right.

01:07:21I thought I'd

01:07:21lost my cigarette

01:07:22case.

01:07:25Find it?

01:07:27Yes, thanks.

01:07:28Might have

01:07:28another walk

01:07:29around this

01:07:29afternoon if

01:07:30you feel like

01:07:30it.

01:07:31That would

01:07:31be most

01:07:31pleasant.

01:07:33So after

01:07:34luncheon, we

01:07:35went out to

01:07:36massacre a few

01:07:36more unfortunate

01:07:37birds.

01:07:45Ah, blasted

01:07:47birds.

01:07:47They seemed

01:07:48to get up

01:07:48rather quickly,

01:07:49didn't they?

01:07:50What do you

01:07:50mean?

01:07:51As though they

01:07:51were disturbed.

01:07:53Listen.

01:07:55Huh?

01:07:55What is it?

01:07:56Over there.

01:07:57That I heard

01:07:57something.

01:07:58Someone moving

01:07:59through the

01:07:59bracken.

01:08:00Another

01:08:01approaching

01:08:01ruffian.

01:08:02By the

01:08:02gully.

01:08:05Bloody

01:08:05if I can

01:08:06see anything.

01:08:06You may be

01:08:07lying doggo.

01:08:07Try a bit

01:08:08further to

01:08:08your left.

01:08:10Right here?

01:08:10By the

01:08:11tree.

01:08:12Pretty

01:08:12certainly

01:08:13came from

01:08:13there.

01:08:17Blasted!

01:08:19What's

01:08:19happened?

01:08:21Why?

01:08:21These

01:08:21blasted

01:08:22traps.

01:08:24Hoskins

01:08:25must have

01:08:25moved

01:08:25them

01:08:26round.

01:08:28Louis,

01:08:29get me

01:08:29out of

01:08:29this.

01:08:32Hurry up,

01:08:32man!

01:08:33Be quiet,

01:08:34Ethelred.

01:08:35I want to

01:08:35talk to you

01:08:36for a minute.

01:08:37What's the

01:08:37matter?

01:08:38Have you

01:08:39gone mad?

01:08:39No, but if

01:08:40you make any

01:08:40more noise,

01:08:41I'll blow

01:08:41your head

01:08:41off.

01:08:42By the

01:08:43time anyone's

01:08:43heard the

01:08:43shot, I

01:08:44shall be

01:08:44running back

01:08:44towards the

01:08:45castle,

01:08:45shouting for

01:08:46help.

01:08:46I'll say

01:08:46that you

01:08:47stepped on

01:08:48the trap,

01:08:48that your

01:08:48gun went

01:08:49off accidentally

01:08:49as it

01:08:50fell, so

01:08:50be quiet.

01:08:51What?

01:08:52Spare you as

01:08:53much pain as

01:08:53possible, I'll

01:08:54be brief.

01:08:54And when I've

01:08:55finished, I

01:08:56shall kill you.

01:08:57And you'll be

01:08:58the sixth

01:08:59Daskoin that I've

01:09:01killed.

01:09:01You want to

01:09:01know why?

01:09:03In return for

01:09:04what the

01:09:05Daskoins did

01:09:06to my

01:09:06mother.

01:09:06Are you

01:09:07terrible?

01:09:08You yourself

01:09:08refused to

01:09:09grant her

01:09:09dying wish,

01:09:10which was to

01:09:10be buried here

01:09:11at Chalfont.

01:09:12And when I

01:09:12saw her poor

01:09:13little coffin

01:09:13slide underground

01:09:14and saw her

01:09:15exiled in death

01:09:16as she had

01:09:17been in life,

01:09:18I swore to

01:09:19have my

01:09:19revenge on

01:09:20your intolerable

01:09:21pride.

01:09:22That revenge

01:09:23I'm just about

01:09:24to complete.

01:09:25It's clear that

01:09:26you're insane.

01:09:27Give me that

01:09:27gun at once.

01:09:28No.

01:09:30From here, I

01:09:32think the wound

01:09:33should look

01:09:34consistent with

01:09:35the story that

01:09:35I shall tell.

01:09:38No!

01:09:42And so

01:09:48Ethelred,

01:09:498th Duke of

01:09:50Chalfont,

01:09:51duly came to

01:09:52his place in

01:09:52the family

01:09:53vault.

01:09:55There were

01:09:56few Daskoins

01:09:56left to

01:09:57mourn him.

01:09:58My employer,

01:09:59Lord Daskoin

01:10:00the banker,

01:10:00who was

01:10:019th Duke of

01:10:02Chalfont for

01:10:02the shortest

01:10:03possible period,

01:10:04having expired

01:10:05of shock on

01:10:06hearing that

01:10:06he'd succeeded

01:10:07to the title.

01:10:10And so I

01:10:11became the

01:10:1310th Duke of

01:10:14Chalfont.

01:10:16And one

01:10:17evening, a few

01:10:18weeks later, an

01:10:18affecting little

01:10:19feudal ceremony

01:10:20took place to

01:10:21welcome me into

01:10:22residence at the

01:10:23castle.

01:10:32And I promise

01:10:33you that my

01:10:34first consideration,

01:10:36and that of

01:10:36Mrs. Daskoin,

01:10:37who has done me

01:10:38the honour to

01:10:38consent to be

01:10:39my wife,

01:10:39will be the

01:10:43welfare of the

01:10:44estate, and of

01:10:46the people who

01:10:47live on it.

01:10:49God bless you

01:10:49all.

01:10:50The Sprocket Farm

01:11:01lot, your

01:11:01grace.

01:11:01Ah, good

01:11:02evening.

01:11:03Pennyman, your

01:11:03grace, from

01:11:04Sprocket's farm, and

01:11:05Mrs. Pennyman.

01:11:06Your grace.

01:11:07How do you do?

01:11:08My son, Tom.

01:11:10And do you work at

01:11:10Sprocket's farm, Tom?

01:11:11Yes, your grace.

01:11:12Oh, he's a good

01:11:13lad.

01:11:14Mr. Wyvald, your

01:11:15grace, chief

01:11:15herdsman at

01:11:16Sprocket's farm.

01:11:16Oh, yes, I've

01:11:17heard of you, Mr.

01:11:18Wyvald.

01:11:18Oh, thank you,

01:11:19your grace.

01:11:20Er, Mr.

01:11:21Burgoyne.

01:11:22Er, Sprocket's farm?

01:11:24No, your grace, I'm

01:11:25from Scotland Yard.

01:11:27Scotland Yard?

01:11:28A matter of some

01:11:29delicacy.

01:11:31The blow was so

01:11:32sudden that I found

01:11:33it hard to collect

01:11:33my thoughts.

01:11:35And as I walked

01:11:36away from the

01:11:36great hall, I

01:11:37wondered which of

01:11:38them could it be?

01:11:40Young Askoin?

01:11:41Henry?

01:11:42Ethelred?

01:11:43The parson?

01:11:44The general?

01:11:44Lady Agatha?

01:11:46Or could it be

01:11:47all of them?

01:11:51Now.

01:11:53You are, I take it,

01:11:54His Grace, the

01:11:55Duke of Chalfond?

01:11:56I am.

01:11:57I am Detective

01:11:58Inspector Burgoyne of

01:11:59the Criminal

01:12:00Investigation

01:12:00Department, and I

01:12:02hold a warrant for

01:12:03your arrest on the

01:12:03charge of murder.

01:12:04Murder?

01:12:06Of murdering Mr.

01:12:07Lionel Holland at...

01:12:08Murdering?

01:12:09Who?

01:12:11Mr.

01:12:11Lionel Holland at

01:12:13number 242,

01:12:14Connacht Square,

01:12:15Bayswater, on the

01:12:1617th of October

01:12:17last.

01:12:19Utterly bewildered, I

01:12:20tried to fathom what

01:12:21series of events could

01:12:22conceivably have led to

01:12:24this not very amusing

01:12:25irony.

01:12:26I could only suppose that

01:12:27Lionel had actually

01:12:28carried out that drunken

01:12:29threat of suicide, but

01:12:31how then had the blame

01:12:33fallen on me?

01:12:35Time alone, and the

01:12:36trial, would reveal the

01:12:38answer.

01:12:40Seeing no reason to

01:12:41forgo any of the

01:12:42available privileges of

01:12:43my rank, I exercise my

01:12:44right to be tried before

01:12:46the House of Lords.

01:12:54Louis d'Ascoy

01:12:55Mazzini, Duke of

01:12:57Chalfont, you as a

01:12:59peer of England are

01:12:59indicted for murder.

01:13:01How say you, your

01:13:02grace?

01:13:03Are you guilty of the

01:13:04felony with which you

01:13:05are charged, or not

01:13:07guilty?

01:13:08Not guilty.

01:13:09How will you be

01:13:10tried?

01:13:10By God and my peers.

01:13:13God sends your grace a

01:13:14good deliverance.

01:13:17That the evidence I

01:13:18shall give before this

01:13:19court shall be the

01:13:21truth, the whole truth,

01:13:23and nothing but the

01:13:24truth, so help me God.

01:13:27Mrs. Holland, will you

01:13:29tell their lordships in

01:13:31your own words the

01:13:32substance of the

01:13:33conversation you had

01:13:34with your husband the

01:13:35evening before his

01:13:37death?

01:13:37He told me that Louis,

01:13:40the prisoner, was

01:13:42coming to see him the

01:13:43next day on a rather

01:13:44delicate matter.

01:13:45Did he indicate what

01:13:47the matter was?

01:13:49He discovered that the

01:13:50prisoner and I had

01:13:52been...

01:13:53Had been on terms of

01:13:55intimacy?

01:13:56Yes.

01:13:57And what was his

01:13:59attitude?

01:14:00He felt that the

01:14:01correct thing to do was

01:14:02to tell him to his face

01:14:04that he intended to start

01:14:05proceedings for divorce.

01:14:07Now, from your knowledge

01:14:09of the prisoner, how

01:14:10would you expect him to

01:14:11receive that news?

01:14:13I should expect him to

01:14:14be very angry.

01:14:16Now he was heir to a

01:14:17dukedom, he had no more

01:14:19use for me.

01:14:20I see.

01:14:21He was trying to discard

01:14:24you?

01:14:24Yes.

01:14:26Mrs. Holland, I

01:14:27apologize for submitting

01:14:28you to this ordeal, but

01:14:30will you tell their

01:14:31lordships how you found

01:14:33your husband's body?

01:14:34I came back at about

01:14:36half past four.

01:14:38I went into my

01:14:39husband's study.

01:14:43He was lying on the

01:14:45floor with a dagger

01:14:46stuck in his chest.

01:14:48One last question,

01:14:50Mrs. Holland.

01:14:51Had your husband ever

01:14:52at any time threatened

01:14:54suicide?

01:14:55Never.

01:14:56Thank you, Mrs. Holland.

01:15:01My client craves their

01:15:03lordship's permission to

01:15:04cross-examine the witness

01:15:05himself.

01:15:07Their lordship's grant their

01:15:08permission.

01:15:13Mrs. Holland, you

01:15:15understand the meaning of

01:15:16being on oath?

01:15:17Of course.

01:15:19And you realize that a

01:15:20life may depend upon the

01:15:21truthfulness of your

01:15:22evidence?

01:15:23Yes.

01:15:24I put it to you that your

01:15:26story of your conversation

01:15:27with your husband on the

01:15:29night before his death is a

01:15:30complete fabrication.

01:15:32It is not.

01:15:34I put it to you that your

01:15:35husband committed suicide.

01:15:36He would never have done

01:15:38that without leaving a

01:15:39message for me.

01:15:40Can you swear that he did

01:15:41not?

01:15:42The police searched the

01:15:43room very thoroughly.

01:15:44They didn't find anything.

01:15:46I suggest that your

01:15:48evidence is a tissue of

01:15:49lies dictated by motives

01:15:51of revenge.

01:15:54It is not.

01:15:56It is not.

01:15:57I presume that the

01:15:59prisoner has some purpose

01:16:00in these submissions other

01:16:02than that of distressing the

01:16:04witness.

01:16:04My purpose, my lord, is to

01:16:06determine the truth.

01:16:07That, your grace, is the

01:16:09whole purpose of this

01:16:10assembly.

01:16:14Shall be the truth, the

01:16:16whole truth, and nothing

01:16:17but the truth, so help me

01:16:19God.

01:16:20You are Edith Dasko and

01:16:22Mazzini, Duchess of

01:16:23Chalford.

01:16:24I am.

01:16:26When and where did you

01:16:27become the wife of the

01:16:28accused?

01:16:29Yesterday morning in

01:16:30Pentonville prison.

01:16:31I wanted to publish

01:16:33irrevocably before the

01:16:34whole world my faith in

01:16:35his innocence.

01:16:37I wanted to show by my

01:16:38marriage that, though he

01:16:39was led astray, as I

01:16:41believe, by that innate

01:16:42kindliness and courtesy of

01:16:43his, which made it so hard

01:16:45for him to rebuff the

01:16:46advances of a woman, I

01:16:48nevertheless regard him as

01:16:49a man to whom I can

01:16:50happily entrust the remainder

01:16:51of my life.

01:16:53I am not alone in these

01:16:54opinions of him.

01:16:56My late husband, Henry, and

01:16:57his late uncle, Ethelred,

01:16:59the 8th Duke, both

01:17:01unfortunately unable to

01:17:02testify today, these and

01:17:05other members of the

01:17:06Dasko and family, had

01:17:07they been alive, would, I

01:17:09know, have echoed every

01:17:10word that I have said.

01:17:14Now, Your Grace, the

01:17:17deceased was a client of

01:17:19the banking house of which

01:17:20you are chairman and

01:17:21managing director?

01:17:22He was.

01:17:23In the normal course of

01:17:24business transactions, he

01:17:26would have come to see you

01:17:27at your office?

01:17:28Yes.

01:17:28Instead of which, he

01:17:30asked you to go to his

01:17:31house?

01:17:31Yes.

01:17:32He invited you to his

01:17:33house to discuss business,

01:17:36and you asked their

01:17:36lordships to believe that?

01:17:38Yes.

01:17:39In the course of this

01:17:40business discussion, he

01:17:43burst into tears, fell on

01:17:45his knees, and threatened

01:17:47suicide?

01:17:48Yes.

01:17:49Is that usual in business

01:17:51discussions?

01:17:52Not usual, no.

01:17:54But it happened on this

01:17:55occasion?

01:17:56Yes.

01:17:56And you asked their

01:17:58lordships to believe that?

01:18:00Yes.

01:18:01Then this business

01:18:03discussion became so

01:18:04heated that blows were

01:18:06exchanged and he made a

01:18:08murderous attack on you?

01:18:09Yes.

01:18:10Is that usual in business

01:18:12discussions?

01:18:13No.

01:18:13But it happened on this

01:18:15occasion?

01:18:16Yes.

01:18:16And you asked their

01:18:17lordships to believe that?

01:18:19Yes.

01:18:20Very well.

01:18:20You've heard of cases of a

01:18:23jealous husband and his

01:18:24wife's lover coming to

01:18:26blows?

01:18:26Yes.

01:18:27Frequently?

01:18:29It is one of the clichés of

01:18:30the cheaper kind of fiction.

01:18:33I put it to you that in

01:18:34this case it happened not in

01:18:35fiction but in fact.

01:18:37I put it to you that it did

01:18:38not.

01:18:38I put it to you further that

01:18:39being unaware at that time of

01:18:41your future wife's forgiving

01:18:42nature, you assumed that if

01:18:44you were cited in a divorce

01:18:46suit, it would ruin your

01:18:47chances of making this

01:18:48advantageous match with a

01:18:50wealthy and beautiful

01:18:52woman.

01:18:52No, not at all.

01:18:54So you were proposing to

01:18:55discard Mrs. Holland?

01:18:57No.

01:18:59Even though you were about

01:19:00to be married to the other

01:19:01lady?

01:19:05Thank you, Your Grace.

01:19:07That is all.

01:19:09I must confess to feeling

01:19:10quite intrigued as to the

01:19:12decision of my peers.

01:19:15My lords, having just

01:19:17seriously considered your

01:19:18verdict, the question for

01:19:20your lordships is this.

01:19:23Is the prisoner guilty of

01:19:25the felony whereof he stands

01:19:26indicted or not guilty?

01:19:32Guilty upon mine honour.

01:19:37Guilty upon mine honour.

01:19:42Guilty upon mine honour.

01:19:47Thus was I, Louis Mazzini Dascoigne,

01:19:5410th Duke of Chalfont,

01:19:56unjustly condemned for a murder

01:19:59I did not commit.

01:20:10You have a visitor, Your Grace.

01:20:12My wife?

01:20:12No, Your Grace, a Mrs. Holland.

01:20:25Louis.

01:20:26Sybella.

01:20:29I considered it both seemly and

01:20:31touching that my dear wife should

01:20:32visit me as she did this morning to

01:20:34make her farewells.

01:20:35Your arrival, on the other hand,

01:20:37appears to me unseemly and tasteless in

01:20:39the extreme.

01:20:39I couldn't bear my last sight of you

01:20:42to be that look of hatred you gave

01:20:43me as you went out from the trial.

01:20:44In view of the fact that your

01:20:45evidence had put the rope around

01:20:46my neck, you could hardly expect a

01:20:48glance of warm affection.

01:20:50Isn't there any hope?

01:20:52What hope could there be?

01:20:55I was only thinking that that

01:20:57question you asked at the trial about

01:20:59Lionel leaving a suicide note,

01:21:03suppose he did.

01:21:04Suppose that one were found,

01:21:06even now, this last evening.

01:21:10It would save her of a miracle.

01:21:13Miracles can happen.

01:21:15Miracles could happen.

01:21:17A note might be found.

01:21:19I see.

01:21:20It's strange, isn't it, how things

01:21:21turn out?

01:21:23Now, if you had married me

01:21:24instead of Edith...

01:21:25Or you had married me instead of

01:21:26Lionel...

01:21:27He would still be alive, and you

01:21:28wouldn't be going to be hanged

01:21:29tomorrow morning.

01:21:31Unless, of course, you'd

01:21:33murdered somebody else.

01:21:35Yes, all of which is rather

01:21:36beside the point, isn't it?

01:21:37Is it?

01:21:39Do you remember in the old days

01:21:40how we used to play ten green

01:21:42bottles?

01:21:43And if one green bottle should

01:21:45accidentally fall...

01:21:47There'll be nine green bottles

01:21:49standing on the wall.

01:21:53Quite a lot of green bottles

01:21:54have accidentally fallen,

01:21:56haven't they?

01:21:57One way or another.

01:21:58And every one of them

01:22:00a Daskoin.

01:22:01Yes, we don't seem to be a very

01:22:02short-lived family, I must admit.

01:22:05Of course, Edith is only a Daskoin

01:22:07by marriage, so I suppose her

01:22:09prospects of a long life are

01:22:10better.

01:22:11Perhaps.

01:22:12Except for a miracle, like the

01:22:14other one we were talking about.

01:22:16So now we have two miracles in

01:22:17mind, do we?

01:22:18Lionel's note and Edith's early

01:22:21demise.

01:22:22Yes.

01:22:24I wonder if they're in any way

01:22:25dependent on each other.

01:22:27They might be.

01:22:28What do you think?

01:22:29Time's up, Your Grace.

01:22:31What do you think?

01:22:36Poor Edith.

01:22:37I'm afraid all this is going to

01:22:38take years off her life.

01:22:40Do you think so?

01:22:41Well, I'm almost certain of it.

01:22:44Au revoir, Louis.

01:22:47Au revoir, said Bella.

01:22:49So there it was.

01:22:51She would find the note if I, in

01:22:53return, would murder Edith.

01:22:57What could I do but accept?

01:22:59After all, I could always decide

01:23:01afterwards which of these two

01:23:03green bottles would accidentally

01:23:05have to fall.

01:23:08Dear Edith,

01:23:10captivating Sibela,

01:23:12how different they were

01:23:14and how well I knew each of them.

01:23:18Or so I thought.

01:23:20But the night has gone by

01:23:23and nothing has happened.

01:23:29Signed under my hand

01:23:31this eighth day of August 1902,

01:23:36Louis Dascoigne-Mazzini,

01:23:40Duke of Chalfont.

01:23:41Ah, all ready.

01:24:06I'm afraid so.

01:24:07If you have any last

01:24:10instructions.

01:24:12Well, I think, Colonel,

01:24:13it only remains to thank you

01:24:15for your many kindnesses.

01:24:16Your Grace.

01:24:19Won't you introduce our friend?

01:24:22Mr. Elliot,

01:24:23His Grace,

01:24:23the Duke of Chalfont.

01:24:25Good morning,

01:24:26Your Grace.

01:24:28This won't take a moment,

01:24:29but first,

01:24:30if Your Grace

01:24:31will pardon the liberty,

01:24:32I should like to read

01:24:33some verses

01:24:34composed by myself

01:24:35for use

01:24:36on these

01:24:36melancholy occasions.

01:24:39Your Grace permits.

01:24:40Oh, with pleasure.

01:24:41As you see by this pile

01:24:42of manuscript here,

01:24:43I too have not been idle.

01:24:45Oh, fellow artist,

01:24:46Your Grace.

01:24:49My friend,

01:24:50reflect.

01:24:52Oh,

01:24:53oh,

01:24:54pardon me.

01:24:56Your Grace,

01:24:58reflect,

01:24:58while yet of mortal breath,

01:25:00some span,

01:25:01however short,

01:25:02is left to thee.

01:25:04How brief

01:25:05the total span

01:25:06twixt birth and death,

01:25:08how long

01:25:08thy coming tenure

01:25:09of eternity.

01:25:13Well,

01:25:13thank you.

01:25:15Your Grace,

01:25:16prepare.

01:25:18Colonel!

01:25:19Colonel!

01:25:20What does this mean?

01:25:22This letter

01:25:22has come from Whitehall, sir.

01:25:23The messenger said

01:25:24it was to be delivered

01:25:25to you immediately.

01:25:26Excuse me.

01:25:31Thank God!

01:25:33Your Grace,

01:25:34this letter

01:25:34is from the Home Office.

01:25:35Apparently,

01:25:36a note has been found,

01:25:37undoubtedly in Mr. Holland's

01:25:38handwriting,

01:25:39expressing his intention

01:25:40to commit suicide.

01:25:42It is a miracle.

01:25:44Yes.

01:25:45It is, uh,

01:25:46like a miracle.

01:25:47Pending receipt

01:25:48of further instructions,

01:25:49I'll try to make you

01:25:50reasonably comfortable

01:25:51in my quarters.

01:25:52I imagine you won't

01:25:53be sorry to leave here.

01:25:54Well, it is a trifle,

01:25:55Austere.

01:25:57Oh, goodbye,

01:25:57Mr. Elliot.

01:25:58I'm sorry our acquaintance

01:25:59was so short-lived.

01:26:02Good morning,

01:26:03your Grace.

01:26:05Good morning.

01:26:11Well, I'm gratified

01:26:12to think that the Home Office

01:26:14lost no time

01:26:14in ordering

01:26:15your immediate release.

01:26:16Poor Elliot.

01:26:17If he'd not insisted

01:26:18on reading that

01:26:19abominable poem,

01:26:20he'd have had me

01:26:20neatly dangling

01:26:21at the end of his rope

01:26:22before the news arrived.

01:26:23Undoubtedly, yes.

01:26:24He was so looking forward

01:26:25to it.

01:26:25I understand,

01:26:28your Grace,

01:26:28from the men

01:26:28on duty outside

01:26:29that a large crowd

01:26:31awaits your leaving.

01:26:32Well, having robbed them

01:26:33of the pleasure

01:26:33of my death,

01:26:34the least I can do

01:26:35is to let them

01:26:36see me alive.

01:26:37Including, by the way,

01:26:38not only her Grace

01:26:39the Duchess,

01:26:40but also Mrs. Holland.

01:26:43Oh, I see.

01:26:45How does the song go?

01:26:47How happy could I be

01:26:48with either

01:26:48were t'other dear

01:26:50charmer away.

01:26:52Goodbye, Colonel.

01:26:54Goodbye, your Grace.

01:26:56All right, water.

01:26:57Open the gate.

01:27:10Thank you so much.

01:27:12Excuse me, your Grace.

01:27:13Yes?

01:27:13I represent the magazine

01:27:15Titbits,

01:27:15by whom I am commissioned

01:27:16to approach you

01:27:17for the publication rights

01:27:18of your memoirs.

01:27:19My memoirs?

01:27:20Oh, my memoirs.

01:27:23My memoirs.

01:27:25A brief history

01:27:29of the events

01:27:30leading thereto,

01:27:31written on the eve

01:27:32of his execution

01:27:33by Louis d'Ascoyne Massini,

01:27:3610th Duke of Chalfont,

01:27:38who ventures to hope

01:27:40that this confession

01:27:43of his guilt

01:27:45may prove

01:27:47not uninteresting

01:27:49to those who remain

01:27:51to read it.

01:27:52Oh, hee, hee.

01:27:54Oh, hee, hee.

01:27:56Well.

01:27:59Yes, your Grace?

01:28:01Your memoirs?

01:28:02My God.

01:28:05My memoirs.

01:28:07My memoirs.

01:28:23My memoirs.

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