- 6/25/2025
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TVTranscript
00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Transcription by CastingWords
01:00Gate building
01:01Right, and there we are
01:14Bang on
01:15Oh no
01:23That's not completely secure, is it?
01:29That's...
01:30Look at that
01:39The gate didn't fit so I built a dry stone wall, my first one
01:44But I said you'd have put a job like that and then you'll never be able to work that one
01:49You don't, the boys do round the track
01:57I've got another thing or two years ago I'm a subject
01:59Just having, we all, we all call it
02:0176 sheeps, bang on
02:11Significant clusters have developed in South Korea, Japan and Iran
02:20South Korea plans to test...
02:22There are very, very few pleasures in life
02:25As great as opening the fridge door and finding a surprise piece of cold lamb in there
02:33Slice it up
02:35White bread
02:37Thin layer of butter
02:38Any chutney?
02:40No, because then you don't taste the lamb
02:41Iran's deputy health minister has tested positive
02:44Three, four, five, six, seven
02:48As February gave way to March, I figured there was really only one thing to worry about
03:02The impending birth of my lambs
03:07But then, out of nowhere, there was a second thing to worry about
03:27From this evening, I must give the British people a very simple instruction
03:31You must stay at home
03:36The coronavirus is the biggest threat this country has faced for decades
03:41The virus is indiscriminate
03:44It doesn't matter who you are, where you are, or how old you are
03:50All parts of the country are now on an emergency footing
04:01With the whole country in hibernation, I decided to host a socially distanced meeting with the farm's management team
04:10How are you?
04:15How are you?
04:18Well, scared shitless
04:20Are you?
04:21You're twenty-two
04:22Twenty-one
04:23Twenty-one
04:24I'm pushing sixty
04:25I've smoked three-quarters of a million cigarettes
04:27I've had pneumonia so my lungs are scarred
04:30If I get it
04:31Yeah, there's not a lot of hope
04:34It's a worry, this
04:36The only thing I'm pissed off about is I haven't had my perm done
04:39What?
04:40I haven't had my perm done
04:42Yesterday, I was going to have my perm done, but it got cancelled
04:45What, by the hairdresser?
04:46Yeah, because of the coronavirus
04:49This was going to be your big new hairstyle
04:51It was, yeah, the next step of the new Caleb
04:54Yeah, well, I'm not sure that's going to make the news
04:57Anyway, the thing is, we've been listed, weirdly, you and me, as key workers
05:03So the government has said if you're involved in food production, which we are
05:06Yeah, yeah
05:07Farming
05:08Is it allowed?
05:09I mean, it's so funny, the government said, three weeks ago, we think that the idea that British farmers make food for British people is old-fashioned and ridiculous
05:18Buy you food from abroad and we'll just turn the countryside into a big nature park
05:23Now, let's watch them
05:25I mean, I just think, if we stay this far apart
05:27All the time
05:28Disinfect the shit out of everything
05:30Keep camera crews a long way off
05:33Well, you drove your tractor, that Lamborghini, and I drive my one
05:36That's not a bad idea, actually
05:38You know
05:39That's a very good idea
05:40Our own tractors from now on
05:41Yeah, key workers
05:42Key workers
05:43We're going to save the nation, we are
05:45You panic-boying?
05:46I bought five tins of sardines the other day, does that count?
05:49Not really
05:50Have you panic-bought?
05:51No
05:58Whilst key worker Caleb got back to tractoring
06:02I headed to the nerve centre of our next big event
06:08Welcome everybody to the brand new lambing barn we built
06:12The maternity ward, if you will
06:14Here they all are
06:15Seventy-four pregnant sheeps in here
06:17We have Ellen, the shepherd
06:20Can you say shepherdess?
06:22I don't know whether you can say that these days
06:24Anyway, the sheep expert
06:26She's going to be here, but not always
06:29So I need to learn
06:31And I'm going to learn by watching her
06:33Think how many skills I'll have then
06:35Power over steel while shouting
06:38Midwife
06:40Job one was to make sure the expectant mums were evenly split up in the separate pens
06:507, 8, 10, 12
06:54Now why have you all gone in there?
06:58Why have they done that?
07:02Finally though, everything was ready for the arrival of 138 lambs
07:11And now we just had to wait for mother nature to roll her sleeves up
07:21There's been a big rise in the number of people in the UK who have died of coronavirus
07:26The Scottish Government has recommended wearing face coverings in limited circumstances where social distance
07:33The days passed and no lambs appeared
07:37But then one morning, as I was feeding the hens
07:41Stop fighting!
07:45Hello?
07:47What?
07:49On our way, on our way, lambing
07:51Woo, woo, woo, woo, lamb shed
07:54Predictably, one of the sheeps had waited for Ellen the shepherd to go home
07:59And then decided it was ready
08:04Here we go
08:05Going down
08:07And if you edge closer then, she'll get used to you
08:11In an ideal world, she should give birth on her own
08:14I'm just here
08:16As backup
08:19She's trying
08:23Look at her
08:25Oh, God, something's coming out of it
08:28Jeremy, Jeremy, just make sure it's the head first
08:31Well, how am I supposed to see if that's...
08:32Oh, she's up
08:33Oh, it's out, it's out, it's out
08:35Yes, look!
08:38Aw
08:40Oh, that is just brilliant
08:42I am so thrilled
08:44That is a massive bag of blood
08:53Oh, my giddy aunt
08:56The whole process is sort of incredibly sweet and incredibly revolting simultaneously
09:03At the front, every Easter card made real, at the back
09:08I mean, not even John Carpenter has thought of anything that revolting
09:13Our first diddly-squat birth had gone well, but the mother was carrying twins and, worryingly, there was no sign of the second one
09:23There was obviously a problem and there was no point calling Caleb for help, as he'd made it very plain he wasn't interested
09:32You know, sheep, I just don't get on well with them
09:35Jeremy's got this to come
09:36You know, it's summer, it's really hot, he's really busy on the tractor trying to get the corn in
09:40All of a sudden, he sees in the distance there's one sheep twitching
09:43He goes, I'll have a look at that
09:44All of a sudden there's maggots dropping out of it
09:45You know, or he's got his head stuck in a fence and killed itself
09:50Because you know for a damn fact it's going to happen
09:53It's all good when they're lambing
09:54Oh, look at that cute lamb
09:56You wait, come summer and they're all getting out and running around the place
10:00You're going to go, fucking sheep
10:02Happily, back at the barn, Ellen had arrived in time to sort things out
10:07So we have got a head and no feet
10:18Yeah, is that the problem?
10:20There is a foot there, can you see that foot?
10:23There we go
10:24What have we got there, two legs?
10:25Two legs and a nose
10:27Are you just going to pull it out?
10:28So she'll do it on her own now
10:32There you go
10:34So can you see this fluid's quite dark yellow?
10:37Yeah, yeah, yeah
10:38That means that the lamb's been a bit stressed
10:41Why?
10:43Probably because it was just taking a bit longer to come out
10:46Is it all right?
10:47Yeah, it's fine
10:49So that last one was probably just blocking the foot
10:50They were jammed up?
10:51Yeah
10:52It's like that bit on the A40 where the two cars have to go into one
10:55Yeah
10:56Over the next couple of days, the ewe and lamb pens slowly started to fill up
11:06Okay, out she comes, well done
11:10Look, nice drawer
11:16And Ellen's schooled me well in all the jobs that needed doing
11:21Shall we just dip that in there like that?
11:23Is that good?
11:25As long as it's covered in iodine
11:29Admittedly, some jobs didn't go brilliantly
11:32No, I think I've gone in its anus
11:36And others left me speechless
11:40So I'm ringing them, so putting a ring on their tail
11:43So that when they're a bit older and it gets hotter
11:46They're not going to get flies around the bum
11:48Oh, okay, so they're docking their tails
11:51Yeah, and then castrate the males
11:53Sorry?
11:55Castrating the males
11:57The top lambs
11:59Castrating them
12:01What, are you cutting their balls off?
12:02Not cutting them off, but we'll ring them
12:04What does that do?
12:05So that'll cut the blood supply off and that'll make them fall off
12:08The bollocks are going to fall off?
12:11Yeah
12:12Why?
12:13It'll stop them breeding with their sisters when they're older
12:17No, I'm not doing this
12:19Look at him, that doesn't like that
12:22So it won't hurt him for long
12:24What?
12:25It'll make it numb
12:26It does hurt for long
12:28How long will it be before they fall off?
12:30A couple of days
12:31They're...
12:36I'm not surprised, mate
12:38Oh...
12:40He's just been born
12:42I'm a man, I've got everything I need
12:44Oh no, she's put a rubber band around them
12:47Want to go back to mum?
12:48I couldn't chop a creature's bollocks off
12:51Couldn't you just segregate the men and women sheep?
12:54You can, but they...
12:56They will have fun times with each other
12:58What, the men's sheep?
12:59Yeah
13:01That mount one another?
13:02Yeah
13:03Do they?
13:04Yeah
13:05So, you know Leo and Wayne then?
13:06Are they...
13:07Now they're in the field
13:08Will they be having a go on each other when they're not looking?
13:10They won't all the time, but every now and again they might
13:12But they still know what to do when it comes to the girls
13:14Are the ladies... Do they do it as well?
13:18Not... Not as much
13:20No
13:21So there's very few lesbian action then?
13:23Yeah
13:24So it's not like the internet
13:30Eager to escape from Little Bo Peep's torture chamber
13:34I went out into the fields and fired up something called the roller
13:38The most Thunderbirdsy farm machine in my entire arsenal
13:46I want... I was gonna say I want one of these
13:49I've actually got one of these, I like it
13:52Well, haven't I used that before?
13:58Today I was doing important work because I'd come up with an ingenious plan
14:04This bit of field was going to be spring barley
14:08But I think there's no point really growing that
14:12Two reasons
14:13Number one
14:15All the pubs and restaurants are shut
14:16So demand for beer is way down and that's what spring barley makes
14:20And number two
14:21Well, there was such an incredibly wet winter
14:24A lot of farmers are planting in the spring spring barley
14:28So there'll be a glut
14:29Huge amount of product chasing a very small market
14:34So, despite warnings from Caleb and cheerful Charlie that my thinking was idiotic
14:40I was going to plant four acres of vegetables on the basis that in a lockdown world
14:45Veg from abroad would soon be in short supply
14:50So what I'm trying to do here is break up these big very dry bits of mud
14:55To make a very good seed bed for my new vegetables
14:58New vegetables
15:00It does slightly worry me that I'm going to get this virus
15:04I read the other day that 90% of the world's 570 million farms are run by either one man
15:12Or one family
15:13So if that man or family gets the virus
15:17The farm dies
15:19Farmers are actually being urged to keep diaries
15:23So that if somebody is able to come and take over from them
15:26They know what to do
15:27But I mean, what do I write in a diary?
15:29Who do I tell?
15:30Everybody's sitting at home watching Joe Wicks
15:35Wiping their arse on their lavatory paper
15:40Eventually the preparatory work was done and a couple of days later
15:44The vegetable sets arrived
15:47Along with Jethro Tull's old planting machine
15:52If you come around the back, I'll show you how it works
15:56Okay, you have three people sitting here underneath this weather cover being pulled along by a tractor
16:03The vegetables are stacked up here
16:06You take one off, pop it into this little V here
16:09Then the next one in that one, next one in that one
16:10A chain drives that round and then the vegetables are planted underneath your seat
16:16Just one small problem
16:19Two metre separation
16:23Hmm
16:25But first, there was another problem
16:30What are you doing?
16:32There's no chance in hell you can have that on that
16:35No
16:36Why not?
16:37Look at the width of it
16:38What?
16:39Oh, so the tyres are going to crush
16:42Yeah, you'll lose too much earth
16:44So you'll plant one strip, you'll turn round, come back down
16:47And then your tyres are going to be flattening the bits that you've just planted
16:51You want that little Fergie in the shed on it
16:54So the little red tractor would work?
16:55Yeah, the little red tractor
16:56My Massey
16:58Might have to get you sat in the front or me sat in the front for extra weight
17:01Oh, I'm planting in the back, I'm not driving
17:03Yeah, I'm not, I'm driving
17:04Are you?
17:05Are you?
17:06Yeah, yeah
17:07Have you decided or have you?
17:08I have, I'm a tractor driver
17:09Well, let's have a vote
17:10I'll drive
17:11I'll drive
17:12But I'm famous for driving
17:15Yeah
17:18Having hitched Mr. Tull's veg machine to Lisa's 60-year-old tractor
17:23And wheelied it to the field
17:26We were ready for an afternoon of quiet farming
17:29The old-fashioned way
17:31Here we go
17:39My hands, my arms are going to come off
17:42A hundred excruciating yards later, we stopped to check the results
17:54There's one here
17:57There's one there
17:59We're actually planting food, I've no idea what the food is
18:05After we had been rendered completely deaf by the endless squeaking
18:13It was a blessed relief to get back to the maternity ward
18:20Unfortunately though, I was there on my own
18:25Oh God
18:29This is a sign, pouring the ground is what they do when they're about to give birth
18:34Not now, please not now, please not now
18:36Please wait for Ellen to get here
18:38Hold on
18:40Hold on sheep
18:42Hold on
18:45Oh God
18:47I knew this would happen
18:48I knew it would happen
18:49I'd be up here by myself and one of them would start giving birth
18:53The head's coming out
18:55All right, girl
18:56Okay
18:57Here on my own
18:59Look, you see?
19:02There, you're coming, you're coming
19:03Where's the feet?
19:04I've got to grab the feet
19:06There's only one out
19:07Come on sheep
19:08Oh, come on
19:09Where's your other leg?
19:12Come on
19:13There's your other leg
19:14There you go
19:15Round we come
19:17There you go
19:19There we are
19:20Oh, you're alive!
19:22I did a thing!
19:24That is worked!
19:26See, look at that
19:27No epidural
19:29No ow ow ow
19:30No shouting
19:31I hate you
19:32I hate you
19:33Just quietly and calmly got on with it
19:35Oh, hello, here we go
19:36A second one has arrived
19:37Oh, my giddy aunt
19:38Are you in the bag?
19:39Yes, come on
19:40Come on
19:41Round you come
19:42Round you come
19:43Let's get in your mouth
19:44There you go
19:45You're alive
19:46You're alive
19:47I've done another one
19:48Oh, look!
19:49Come on, let's get you out of your bag
19:50Come on, mother
19:51Come on, mum
19:52Come on, mum
19:54Yes, look!
19:55That is now 22 minutes old
20:03And walking
20:06It's like watching a Ford Cortina start in the 1960s
20:10Yes, it will
20:14God, in normal times I'd go and celebrate this in a pub
20:17But all the pubs are shut
20:25In truth, there wouldn't have been time to go to the pub anyway
20:32Because that evening, the lambs started to arrive thick and fast
20:36Come on, come on
20:41Yes, yes, you will
20:48And they kept on coming long after the film crew
20:52And Ellen had gone home
20:55So it's the middle of the night
20:59And there's been a lamb
21:00I just saw on the CCTV camera
21:02That's just been born here
21:06Right, but we've run out of beds
21:12With Lisa on camera and me building new pens
21:15Things were going quite well
21:17But then
21:18Oh, there's a lamb out
21:20There's another one there, look
21:22Look at the lambs everywhere
21:24It's everywhere
21:27Jeremy, this isn't her baby
21:30Well, that's...
21:31Look, she's attacking one of them
21:32She's getting very distressed
21:33It's not her baby
21:36Look, it's budding it, darling
21:37Yes, I know
21:38Come here, sweetheart
21:39Come here
21:40Come here
21:41Where do you put it?
21:43It's got no mother
21:45Incredibly, the lamb continued to be convinced
21:48That the attack ewe was its mum
21:51So before this turned ugly
21:52I had to find the real mum
21:55And fast
21:57Twin, twin, twin
21:59Twins
22:01Twins
22:02If these are all doubles
22:03There's one there with only one
22:05Do you reckon if I put her in there?
22:06Yes
22:07Yep
22:08Yep
22:10She won't let her feed if it's her hair
22:12Exactly
22:15Okay, that's good
22:16So somehow that lamb got into there
22:19That was scary
22:20God, it's a good job we came up
22:21243, 245, 26, 27, 28, we're down 50
22:27There's exactly 50 left that haven't given birth
22:31So we're not even halfway there yet
22:40Whilst my life was being run by the sheep
22:43Key worker Caleb was spending every waking hour in the fields
22:51This meant he was able to spot all the mistakes I'd made when I'd planted the crops four months earlier
23:16Including what appeared to be a massive Brazilian
23:22Why didn't that bit grow?
23:26Because you didn't turn the fan on to let the seed come through
23:30To put it in the ground
23:31Until you got so far up
23:32Well how did the fan know to come on there and the other end then?
23:34I'm surprised to be honest you got that far because it had been beeping at you
23:37Oh it did beep
23:38Oh is that where it was beeping?
23:40Yes
23:4118 and then 18 again
23:42Then he started moaning about the tramlines I'd made for his crop sprayer to drive on
23:47Yeah
23:48So when I stand in the middle of this tramline here
23:51Yeah
23:52Right in the middle yeah?
23:53Yeah
23:54I want to walk 24 metres that way
23:56Yeah
23:57And then I should be in the middle of the next tramline over
24:00Because you're saying your spray thing is
24:03Yes when I'm coming down the tram I'm doing 12 metres that side, 12 metres that side
24:07However, because you're an idiot and you didn't listen to me
24:10I've now got 18 metres that way so I'm going to have to turn one section of the boom off
24:15So I don't scar the crop
24:17Determined to prove that this was a one off error I started measuring the distance to the next one
24:23Six, seven, nine, ten, ten, twenty, twenty, twenty one, twenty three, twenty four
24:32And it's all the way over here
24:34Twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty
24:40Right this, there's a bit, I'll admit there's a bit of a spot, space there
24:44Oh no wait, it's here isn't it?
24:47Yeah
24:48What's that, forty? Was that forty?
24:50It's about thirty four, thirty five metres this one
24:53But I did solve the problem
24:56Go on
24:57Well, you know you were worried that people on the main road would see
25:01Yeah
25:02These tram lines all in the wrong place
25:03Which they did
25:04What?
25:05Which they did
25:06No
25:07Yes
25:08No, because I didn't trim that hedge
25:09Ha ha!
25:10Look, here comes a van, right?
25:11Watch, here comes the van, behind the rape
25:12He's going, oh that's good rape, that's good rape
25:14Gets to this field and he's thinking, oh I wonder how he's done there
25:18And, can't see, can't see
25:21Look, he can't see it, his window's below the hedge
25:25Come on, that's how you solve problems
25:33Mercifully, a couple of days later the key worker had something other than me to moan about
25:38Because his seed drill broke
25:43Look at the little red thing at the bottom
25:45Right in the bottom, see the little red thing that turns?
25:49Yeah
25:50Rats have chewed it
25:51Rats, what, they jumped up from there?
25:54He climbed up into the hopper
25:55Well how did he climb up that?
25:57Not even Sylvester Stallone could climb this
26:00I don't know
26:02It's not a rap
26:03It is, I swear on my life
26:05It is not
26:06If coronavirus wasn't here, I'd jump up there and I'd prove the point
26:10Talking of which, have you seen Gerald?
26:12No I haven't, I think he's properly, properly isolated himself
26:15I can't even get hold of him, I need him to build that wall
26:17Oh really?
26:18Well no, he's just, he's, I think he thinks his phone can pass it on to him
26:22Because he's not answering
26:27So, Gerald and the seed drill were out of action
26:31And there was another problem too
26:33It says here that chickens have been stolen from coops in Leicester, Lincolnshire, Yorkshire and Cardiff
26:39As people try to plunder eggs during the shortage
26:41But actually, eggs aren't the problem
26:44These are
26:46Turns out there's only three places in Europe where egg boxes are made
26:49And two of them have been closed
26:52I mean this is the kind of little, tiny consequence of the quarantine that you don't think about
26:59Where am I going to get my egg boxes from?
27:04In truth though, the food story in the news was rather bigger
27:09Some supermarkets have already introduced limits on the numbers of specific items that can be bought
27:15Buying more than you need means that others may be left without
27:19So, the next day, I made an executive decision
27:24The situation is, there's massive panic buying going on
27:27It's fallen over
27:29There's massive panic buying going on of food and bog roll everywhere
27:33Huge queues at the supermarket
27:35So, I thought I'd opened the shop
27:37And now I'm not supposed to because of planning permission issues
27:40But we've got more important things to think about right now
27:42To be brutally honest
27:50Everyone told to stay at home unless their journey is essential
27:52Well, it doesn't apply to cyclists
27:56Obviously
27:58I've got a car park now
28:01Sadly, it was too early to sell the vegetables I'd planted
28:06But I still had plenty of potatoes
28:11Which I'd put in cold storage when I'd been forced to close the shop
28:16And once they were back on display, it was time to reopen, COVID-style
28:28Hello, how are you?
28:30I'm having some okay, sir?
28:32Good, that's all I've got
28:34So, I put these here, and then that is the money bucket
28:38Yep
28:40All right, bye, well
28:42Thank you
28:43Take care, see you soon
28:46£1.50, if you can chuck that in there
28:49I know this is ridiculous, but it's the only way we could think to do it
28:54And then we put the money in the deep freeze for two weeks
29:00After the first couple of customers, business was not what you'd call brisk
29:04So, like everyone else in those early days of lockdown, we had to make the best of what we had
29:21And what we had was a new car park
29:27Oh!
29:29Turns out you're useless
29:30Just, I'm just warming up, watch this
29:32I'm not much better
29:34Is it a customer? Is it a customer?
29:36Err, no, it isn't
29:46So, um, potatoes, how many have we sold?
29:49Today?
29:51Err, £12.50
29:52I used to get paid a bit more than that, who wants to be a millionaire, you know?
29:59Did you?
30:00Yeah
30:02Oh no, look what I've just found in this puddle
30:05Some lady petrol
30:07This is about £12.50
30:09Which I've chilled
30:11Aw
30:12Life's shit, but I'm loving it
30:24Yes
30:26A little bit of pneumonia before the real pneumonia gets here
30:30Around about now, normally, we'd be Friday night
30:33Yeah, Friday night, we'd be going to the pub
30:35Group of about 20 of us, somebody would have us back to their house
30:38Back to their house
30:40Nice dinner, chat with friends
30:44Roll home about two
30:49These are our new friends
30:51This is it
30:52This is self-isolating
30:53Rebecca, Tony, Charlie
30:55Alex and Claire, look
30:57Yeah, that's definitely Alex and Claire there
30:59Emily
31:00Yeah
31:10Okay, pay attention, sheep
31:11Pay attention
31:17That is the dawn chorus
31:21Yes
31:24Oi!
31:25Don't run into the...
31:26What's that lamb doing here?
31:28Where's your mother?
31:30Right, this one's just been born, obviously, without anyone looking
31:34Of the 74 pregnant sheep, 49 had now given birth
31:39So the maternity ward was getting a bit cramped
31:45Now, you're going in a car, you'll like that
31:49Luckily, though, some of the early arrivals were now big enough to move into the fields
31:55Come on, lambs
31:56Look at this, all fresh grass
31:59Yeah, what do you think of that?
32:02Come on, babies
32:06Come on, Red 2
32:08Oh, no, they're frightened
32:10No, no, no, come on, I know cars are good, but honestly you're going to love it out there
32:15You'll like it, you will
32:16You'll like it, you will
32:23Look at you, lambers
32:25These two here are the ones I gave birth to
32:27Where's your mother gone?
32:28Where's your mother gone?
32:30You can't just be left, the crows will eat you
32:32Well, they'll have your eyes
32:34Crows do genuinely do that
32:37Show a lamb like that lying down straight in, they'll get their eyes out
32:41Next time I come out here, I'm going to have my peace, that's for sure
32:49That's what you've got to worry about, one lamb lying down on its own
32:53That is just crow bait
32:58Are you okay?
33:05Here comes mum
33:07Yeah, come on mother
33:11That's better
33:12This idyllic moment was then interrupted by Ellen
33:18Who needed me back at the barn
33:21To take part in a big lie
33:26Okay, now the problem is
33:28That sheep's given birth to three lambs and she's only got two breasts
33:31So, what we have to do is wait for one of the other sheep to give birth to one lamb
33:37Then we take one of the three and roll it around in the new mother's juices
33:45And then hopefully that new mother will think, oh, I gave birth to two
33:50And we'll rear another sheep's lamb
33:53It's subterfuge, but
33:57I'm sorry, I'm talking to you with
34:02I'm just
34:06We kept the temporarily orphaned lamb fed until later that day
34:11Another sheep gave birth to a singleton
34:17Okay, out she comes, well done
34:20Then the deception began
34:23Oh yeah, so you just squeeze all the fluid off her
34:26Yeah
34:28There's your fluid sack, look
34:29What do I do?
34:30Just pull it and burst the sack
34:31Okay
34:33There is a burst it
34:35Oh, Christ
34:36I've never done this
34:40Right, we've got a bucket here, so we need to put one of the triplets
34:43Yeah
34:44And straight in?
34:45Head and everything
34:46Okay
34:48That's a nice warm bath for you
34:50You've got to get your head under, I'm afraid, darling
34:52There you go
34:54Now what have we got to do?
34:55So, if we get at her like that, it could get up and walk away
34:59And she won't lick it, so we need to tie its legs together
35:02Tie its legs together?
35:03Yeah
35:04Oh, because she hasn't learned to walk yet, in theory
35:06Yeah
35:07I got you
35:09So this won't stay on for long, it'll just stay on until she's started bonding with it
35:13Okay
35:14Triplet in front of us
35:16Yeah, here comes your child
35:19Your new child
35:21There you go
35:24She's licking it
35:26She's licking it
35:29Well done, you
35:30You gave birth to twins
35:36Back in the non-sheep world, I was trying to do my bet for the elderly locals
35:41By donating some of my seemingly unsaleable potatoes
35:47Hi there, that's close enough
35:50How are you?
35:51Very well, brought you some potatoes
35:52Fantastic, thank you very much
35:55Hello
35:59Is Gerald all right?
36:01Yes, yes
36:02I think he's gone off
36:04Yeah, I just haven't seen him for a couple of weeks
36:06Yeah
36:07I thought no pubs and no Manchester United, he might be having withdrawal symptoms
36:10Well, he is going a bit mad, but...
36:13Well, he can cook himself some potatoes
36:16But as long as he's all right
36:17Wonderful, yes
36:18Thank you very much
36:19Good
36:20Okay
36:21See you soon
36:22Thank you
36:23Bye
36:25However, it wasn't all peace and love between me and the locals
36:40These were some old hay bales that we made into a silo so we could store grain and stop kids joyriding on this old airfield
36:54I'm not a detective, but on the ground here, there are some Rizzlers
37:00So what I'm thinking is a group of teenagers decided to ignore the lockdown and set my hay on fire
37:11And we know it is arson because they've set fire to that one as well
37:14Thank you
37:17Well, Charlie
37:18How far is the smoke going?
37:20Well, it's going across the main road to Burford because I was going that way to...
37:25Oh, is that how you knew there was a fire?
37:27Yeah, and I... yeah
37:30Caleb then had to stop crop spraying
37:34to come and put the fire out
37:36This made him very happy
37:51I started pushing it off the concrete but my head feels like it's going to explode and I feel really sick
37:55Because the smoke is blowing straight into the cab
37:58Just fucking annoying
37:59Some idiot come along and go, you know, you know, be funny, you know
38:02I'll go and start the bales over there on the lighter
38:04Then they would have walked off my name
38:07Because they're twat
38:11Having listened to Diddly Squat's social services officer for a bit
38:15I went to cheer myself up by looking at the lambs
38:23Blue 32 is such a violent animal, look
38:26All I have to tell you is hitting other animals
38:28I'm going to run over there and headbutt this one
38:34Here we go
38:40That one is defecating in the water bucket
38:46Why would you do that?
38:52Why would you do that?
38:53Oh, I need a shit
38:54Oh, there's a sink
38:56Oh, yeah, lovely
39:09Although a few ewes were still pregnant
39:12120 lambs have been delivered in just three weeks
39:16What's happening tonight is
39:19Two more have been born
39:21One there and one over there
39:24Most of the births had been a success
39:27Yes, look!
39:29Some were touch and go
39:32Stop breathing
39:36Come on, breathe
39:38We're going
39:40Yes, Alan!
39:41I actually thought that one was no good
39:45She's fine
39:47And a few, I'm afraid, didn't make it
39:52Stillborn
39:58Besides learning that there isn't much dignity in a lamb funeral
40:02I discovered that out in the field some of the mothers weren't always very motherly
40:11Which meant calling in a neighbouring sheep farmer
40:15Is he drinking that?
40:17No, he thinks he's drinking that
40:19This little fellow was found in the field about an hour ago
40:23He's been abandoned by his mother
40:25And Jeremy here is shoving a tube down his throat to deliver glucose and effectively SNA
40:31Because he is very, very weak
40:34We noticed the mother
40:36Last week, actually, in here
40:38Wasn't being particularly good
40:40And now she's just abandoned him altogether
40:45Come on, little urchin
40:47We were all hoping that Jeremy's TLC would have the little fellow back on his feet
40:51But as the day ended, we decided he should be transferred to the intensive care ward
41:01Built a pan, fresh straw, lit the stove
41:04And there you are
41:06Look at that
41:08Come on, let's put you on this bed, it's a bit softer
41:12There we are
41:14Good lamb
41:16Right, three hours, time for your next feed
41:18Throughout the night, he grew weaker still
41:24Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on
41:29Come on, come on, come on
41:31Come on, come on, come on
41:33And although we did eventually get some nutrition into him
41:38There's a lot else you can do for him, to be honest
41:41Well, it's a good feed
41:43Well, it's a good feed
41:47In the end, it was all to no avail
41:59The loss of a lamb was sad
42:03And it was also a financial hit
42:06But paradoxically, at least it wasn't as big a financial hit as it could have been
42:12They've halved, haven't they, in value?
42:15They've just dropped again
42:16They're down to, like, I looked last night, £52
42:18Yeah
42:19That's because all the restaurants are shut
42:21Yeah, and there's big chains as well
42:23Oh, can you export them still?
42:24No
42:26We can't sell them to restaurants, we can't sell them to pubs
42:29So a week ago, a lamb was worth £100
42:32And now it's £52
42:34So it's halved
42:35Brilliant
42:44On the plus side, it had been a successful lambing season
42:53Of the 138 lambs expected, 134 had been delivered successfully
42:59Slightly scary to think that the field is now littered with little testicles that have fallen off
43:14Despite the discarded testes, though, these lambs had turned my farm into a springtime picture postcard
43:21Of what Britain can, and perhaps should, look like
43:28I loved having them around
43:31Here, in this weird little lockdown diddly-squat commune
43:35Diddly-squat commune
43:55Second World War underground air raid shelter
43:57If Covid-19 gets too much, this is where I'll come there
44:07I didn't break the brake light, you've done that
44:10No, honestly, it was 100% you
44:12I've done what? What do you mean I don't?
44:14Come on, you were saying all of my broken down, weren't you?
44:16We hadn't been allowed to leave this place for six weeks
44:20Stay in your vehicle, please, stay in your vehicle
44:24And you know what?
44:27I didn't want to
44:36It is genuinely just about the happiest I've ever been
44:45But once again, it was all about to go horribly wrong
44:53It hasn't really rained for six, seven weeks
44:56No
44:58Come on, girls!
45:00It's not ideal conditions
45:02The crop is stressed
45:04Am I allowed to be a bit worried?
45:06I think it's going to be a real challenge
45:23There's a real challenge
45:24That it would be a bit of a loss
45:25The crop is a very dramatic
45:26The crop is in the very form
45:27There's a very huge blossom
45:28There are many times
45:30In these days we just went on
45:31This is a real challenge
45:32And the crop is a pretty big
45:33The crop is a very hard
45:35The crop is a pretty big
45:36We had a large number of crop
45:37As you can see on it
45:38The crop is a pretty rough
45:40And the crop is a pretty big
45:41There's very small crop
45:42And the crop is an exercise
45:44It's a root and it's not easy
45:46The crop is a very small
45:48And the crop is a more typical
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