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  • 6/24/2025

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00:00I've got the face on it.
00:17Anyone, I think I was giving you a bed bath.
00:20I could have done this myself, couldn't I?
00:21Yeah, you could, just really badly.
00:23Morning, Phil.
00:24I'm, uh...
00:25Uh, Kat's come round to dress... dress me up.
00:27What happened to you, Ron?
00:31I, uh, I was carrying out a pound of hot water when I had tripped.
00:35Well, you want to be careful.
00:36Your balance falls off a cliff in old age.
00:39Listen to that, or you'll be the one falling off a cliff.
00:41You heard that.
00:42If anything happens to me, you're my witness.
00:45Anyone want, um...
00:48You stuck them on the fridge yesterday.
00:51You... Do you remember who they are?
00:53Yeah, yeah, of course.
00:54That's Mrs. C.
00:56Uh, Debbie and Claire, Julie, Josh.
01:01I feel like only yesterday.
01:03What does?
01:04Being with, um...
01:06Julie and Debbie.
01:08Not at the same time, I hope.
01:14She died, didn't she, Debbie?
01:16Yeah, yeah.
01:18Yeah, she did, mate.
01:19Right, I'd better get going.
01:20See if the boys are ready.
01:21I'll pop back later, yeah?
01:23Cheers.
01:23Yeah.
01:24Yeah, cheers.
01:25I know I get muddled from time to time,
01:34and I know that, um, you must find it hard.
01:39Uh, but I want you to know that I'm...
01:44I'm grateful to be here with you.
01:47All right, Tommy?
01:57Yeah, I'm coming back now.
01:59All right, darling.
02:00See you in a bit.
02:01Oh, so we're actually going through with this charade, then, are we?
02:13It's not a charade if it gets Barney back on track.
02:17Oh, you've got to be kidding.
02:19My fault's entirely, son.
02:21Oh, don't be so miserable.
02:25All right?
02:26Half Christmas has its benefits, remember?
02:30You want me half cut using heavy machinery?
02:32Are you trying to bump me off and all?
02:34Oh, yes.
02:35I wasn't sure you were actually going to go through with it.
02:37Yeah, of course we are.
02:39Half Christmas is back, darling,
02:40and it's going to be better than ever.
02:42Can I help decorate the tree?
02:44Oh, Barney, you know my feelings on that.
02:48Look, it's a job for an artist.
02:50If I need a little help, your dad's here to help.
02:53There's 20 quid in my purse.
02:55Go and enjoy yourself.
02:56Oh, thanks, Mum.
02:58Thanks, Mum.
03:00Do you remember why we started this stupid tradition?
03:04Oh, nothing to say.
03:08And what about Zach?
03:10Shireen?
03:12Nothing to say about them either?
03:14Nah.
03:15Nah, it's better we just sit round the table,
03:17pulling crackers,
03:18and eating a turkey no-one wants.
03:20Like, none of it happened.
03:22Will it happen, Bon?
03:25Oh.
03:27Barney!
03:39All right?
03:40The kids?
03:42Now they're at school.
03:43Has Yolandi said anything to you about the kids having a party round hers tomorrow?
03:48I've had Tommy in my ear hole.
03:50Yeah.
03:50Dental's babysitting, isn't he?
03:52Oh, is that right?
03:53Yeah.
03:54Because when I asked Tommy if he'd take the twins with him,
03:56he said it was for older boys only.
03:59Trying to pull a fast one.
04:01He thinks he can get away with anything, because Alfie ain't here.
04:03Oh, I...
04:04Um, you know what you were saying yesterday about feeling lonely?
04:09I mean, it's totally understandable why you would want to, you know, find someone, like a companion.
04:18Um...
04:19I just saw you leaving Phil's house.
04:21Seriously.
04:23Alfie goes walkabouts, and I'm sleeping with my ex.
04:27Well, you said you're lonely, which means you're vulnerable.
04:29Yeah, I am.
04:30But we're not all Harvey, jumping into bed with our neighbours at the drop of a flaming hat.
04:35Right, well, I'm glad you're clear about your feelings.
04:37Just make sure Phil is.
04:38You need to see this for what it is.
04:49Mum's making out she's doing it for you, but she ain't.
04:51Well, at least she's doing something.
04:52What are you doing, Harry?
04:53Just moaning as usual.
04:55Billy, we're having a celebration around last tomorrow.
04:58Did you want to come?
04:59We're hanging on your birthday, is it?
05:00No, no, it's a half-Christmas tradition we have.
05:04Half-Christmas?
05:06It's Mum's idea.
05:07One year, she ruined Christmas so bad, she invented half-Christmas to make up for it.
05:13Paper over the cracks.
05:15And now she's doing it again, trying to win Barnova.
05:18Make her forget what she's done.
05:20Yeah, but you see right through her.
05:22So why are you letting her get away with it?
05:25Come on, see you tomorrow.
05:26See you later.
05:31Amy, are you going around Denzel to one night?
05:33Probably why.
05:35I don't know, just because I'm not the only one going.
05:38I'll be there.
05:39Anything to get out of the house.
05:43He's missing Charlie and Lily, so I wouldn't count on him being much fun.
05:46To be honest, he wasn't the one I was looking to have some fun with.
05:50Grinch.
05:51I know Varnia's probably told you all sorts about me, but most of that ain't true.
05:55I'm actually quite a sensitive guy.
05:57Is that right?
05:58Come tomorrow and I'll prove it.
06:00We could hang out now.
06:02Come on, I'll let you buy me some chips.
06:03You know she's a cop with his daughter, right?
06:05What's that supposed to mean?
06:06Well, if you don't think mad tomorrow night, she's probably going to snitch.
06:09Is that really what you think of me?
06:10What was that?
06:15I was just trying to protect her.
06:16Me or her?
06:17Yeah.
06:18I'm starting to think you ain't a real man, Tommy.
06:22I'm starting to think you're more like a woman.
06:24I'm weak.
06:25Can you believe a fella was going to throw all these away?
06:36Yeah, I can, because no one watches DVDs anymore.
06:40Or swapping shares just away against some mug to say you're going to the tip.
06:43You're a philistine, do you know that?
06:45This is a treasure trove of classic horror.
06:48Tonight, you and me are going to watch my all-time favourite, The Exorcist.
06:53Er, no, I can't, you can't.
06:55Lex is going mad.
06:57Me granddaughter.
06:59Oh, we're crying out loud tonight.
07:00She comes around here all the time.
07:02I can't be expected to know everyone and everything, can I?
07:05It's too much.
07:06All right, all right, all right.
07:07I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
07:07Look, did you, do you want to carry that up to you?
07:09No, no, I can do it myself.
07:23Phil, don't look at me like that.
07:41Hi.
07:47Oh, morning.
07:48Morning, Linda.
07:50I just came to check that everything is still okay for Patrick's party tomorrow.
07:53Do not worry, everything is under control.
07:56It's going to be magnificent.
07:58Look, I know I haven't been pulling my weight recently,
08:00but I'm back now, firing on all cylinders.
08:03The party is going to be a tour de force.
08:05A surprise party?
08:07Secret?
08:08Of course.
08:10Thank you, ladies.
08:13Oh.
08:14Jean.
08:17Jean.
08:18What, are you okay?
08:19Yeah, I'm absolutely fine.
08:22A little bit tired, maybe,
08:24because I was up before the crack of dawn on an agency clean,
08:27but, um, yeah.
08:29I was going to ask you if you could help me against the table, too.
08:32You're probably too tired.
08:34No, I'd love to.
08:35Not that I'm, um, shorter things to do, you understand,
08:39but, um, no, I'd love to help.
08:41Well, I am going to pack Patrick over here with his crosswords,
08:45and, um, I need somebody to make sure that he stays here
08:48until I finish making his birthday cake.
08:50He could do that for me.
08:51Yeah, I'd love to.
08:54See you.
09:00Did you double the sign in the place on the ice cream?
09:02Oh, no, I ain't got time.
09:03I said I'd meet learning ten minutes ago with Panesar accounts.
09:07To be honest with you,
09:07I think my clunkies is stretching the budget.
09:10I just ain't getting enough hours at the timber yard,
09:12and I've got your sister breathing down one minute to pay her back.
09:14Well, she wouldn't be pestering you if you'd paid up on time.
09:16You all right?
09:20What do you want?
09:22Nothing.
09:23It's about Barney.
09:28We've got this tradition round our gaff.
09:31Half Christmas.
09:32It's like the second Christmas halfway through the year.
09:34To be honest, it's kind of embarrassing,
09:36but I was wondering if you wanted to come.
09:40Me?
09:42What come round yours after what you did?
09:43You having a laugh?
09:44It's not my idea, mate.
09:46It's Barney's.
09:48Yeah, now he's had time to think everything through.
09:50He's got it in his head that he wants to get to know you more.
09:54To be honest, I think I talked him out of it,
09:56so he probably won't say nothing to you.
09:58But it's what he wants.
10:03Look, I wish none of this ever happened, yeah?
10:06But it has.
10:08So now,
10:09we've all just got to do what's best for Barney.
10:11Anyway,
10:16an invitation's there if you want it.
10:19I wonder if his mum and dad are across that invitation.
10:23I don't care.
10:25Barney wants me there.
10:27As far as I'm concerned,
10:28that's the only invitation that counts, isn't it?
10:34Here you are, darling.
10:35You're welcome.
10:36Well, I'll get you a drink.
10:39Let me.
10:40Huh?
10:41What would you like, Jane?
10:41Uh, lime and soda.
10:43Thanks.
10:44It's probably best if you go, you know, keep things civilised.
10:48Yeah, well, we tried that yesterday, didn't we?
10:50Uh, lime and soda.
10:57Large rum and a pint, please.
10:59That meant to intimidate me.
11:01I'm just getting around here.
11:02Mum, please.
11:04You're barred from here.
11:06You know you are.
11:07Here we go again.
11:07You can't bar me from your own pub.
11:11It's not your pub anymore.
11:14It's mine.
11:15Well, my brief says differently.
11:17She told me that I have a legal claim to the place,
11:20so you can get my round in,
11:22or I can come out and have a side and serve myself.
11:24Linda.
11:25Linda.
11:37Well, he seems calm now.
11:48Yeah, well, that's the way it goes with him.
11:50You know, he gets stressed.
11:51I back off.
11:52He watches the film.
11:53Half an hour is all right again.
11:54So he's found a way to deal with his stress.
11:56What about you?
11:58If you ask me, you need a break.
11:59Why don't you just get someone in?
12:01No, no.
12:02He wouldn't like that.
12:03Well, send him away a couple of times a week, then.
12:06What's it called?
12:07Respite care?
12:08No, no, no.
12:10Thanks, but he ain't going anywhere.
12:13Problem?
12:15Oh, it's George saying thanks.
12:18He's getting told up for his divorce.
12:20He's...
12:21I gave him Richie's phone number this morning.
12:23Don't seem too happy about it.
12:25Yeah, well, I think Richie is.
12:27You know, she wants everything to be a fight.
12:29Sometimes you want that, sometimes you don't.
12:31I don't remember her being that bad when we got divorced.
12:33Well, that's because I kept her on a tight leash.
12:35Let's just say, my heart won't, innit?
12:40Who wants to watch the wicker man?
12:43Pagan atrocities in the Outer Hebrides, anyone?
12:46No, I'd better get going.
12:48There'll be pagan atrocities across the road.
12:50Right, er...
12:52You'll come back later, though, won't you?
12:53You know, for dinner, maybe?
12:54Oh, well...
12:56Um, Lexi's going around, so...
12:58Well, listen, that reminds me I've got a bit of some food in.
13:01Oh, no need.
13:01Um, Julie can rustle up a feast out of nothing.
13:06Yeah, sorry, I forget.
13:08I forget sometimes.
13:11And sometimes it's...
13:13It's like it was only yesterday.
13:15A shock of it.
13:16Hearing that...
13:18Julie had died.
13:20Me and Grant going to pick up Claire from school
13:23and taking her to the park, sitting her down on the bench.
13:25It's all just like it was yesterday.
13:28Nigel, that weren't Julie.
13:30That was...
13:30That was Debbie.
13:31Julie's...
13:32Julie's still alive, remember?
13:36Yeah.
13:36Yeah.
13:37Yeah, you're right.
13:38Yeah, of course.
13:39Right, I'll come back later with some food, yeah?
13:43I always cook too much.
13:45And Alfie's not here, so I'll have loads left over,
13:47so, um, you might as well have him.
13:49See you a bit later.
13:50Yeah, yeah.
13:51See you later.
14:04You know no-one eats them, right?
14:06That's not the point.
14:07It's a family tradition.
14:09We ain't family.
14:11A girl can have dreams at Christmas, can't she?
14:14This June.
14:15And it's a sham.
14:17And it don't mean nothing.
14:19Try telling that to Barney.
14:22Like all of this,
14:24it's for him.
14:25Cos putting a smile on that boy's face
14:27is all I care about right now.
14:32Well, perhaps it is a bit bare.
14:35Even for half Christmas.
14:37Yeah, well,
14:40Santa's little helper went walkabout, didn't he?
14:42Listen, this colleague of yours that looked over the post nub,
15:00you rate him, yeah?
15:01Of course, why?
15:03I just want to make sure everything's watertight.
15:06Yeah, it's as watertight as things like this can be.
15:09Well, I mean,
15:10occasionally the court determines there's grounds to have a turner,
15:12but it's right at it.
15:12Well, call him, please.
15:15I want it double-checked.
15:17There, let me see now.
15:19That is 12 across, huh?
15:21Sussex resort.
15:23Two words.
15:24Last word beginning with R.
15:27Regis.
15:28Impressive.
15:29Bognor Regis.
15:30We went paddleboarding near there with the Wendy's.
15:35Harvey got attacked by a nocturl.
15:42You all right?
15:44Yeah, yeah.
15:49I'm just nipping to the loo.
15:50Right, so, the cake's out the oven, right?
15:57Is that a code for something?
15:59No, no, no, no.
16:00The cake is, like, literally out of the oven.
16:03Now, you and Andy, she wants you to take him home now
16:06so that we can bring some of the decorations over here.
16:08How?
16:09Well, I don't know.
16:11Tell him you want him to show you his over-proof,
16:14or I don't know.
16:20Patrick, this might sound ever so strange,
16:27but, um, I've always wanted to see your over-proof.
16:30Si.
16:32Surely you mean tis.
16:33But...
16:34George?
16:38Go on, hey, guys.
16:40See you a bit.
16:42What you said to Mum about, um,
16:45you know, having the right to be here.
16:47I just don't want to be grand.
16:48She's been bossing her, and I can't have that.
16:50Yeah, I understand.
16:52Believe me, she's been unbearable.
16:54But I am asking you, please,
16:56not to make life harder just to prove a point.
17:01Yeah.
17:05Go look after yourself.
17:07And those lovely kids of yours.
17:10See you later.
17:10See you later.
17:18So, well, what have they got you doing, then?
17:23I've got to write a story based on something that happened in my life.
17:28I don't know what to write about.
17:30Well, Nigel's always good at that.
17:32He was always a creative one.
17:35Lex needs, uh, to write a story about her life.
17:37You can help her out, could you?
17:38Yeah, yeah, marvellous.
17:40Nice one.
17:40So, um, what do you want to write about her?
17:45Well, she says we should think about entertaining the reader,
17:49but I think something ever happens to me, so...
17:53Well, something must have happened.
17:56Well, my dad's in prison in America.
17:59I suppose some people might think that was exciting.
18:02Hmm.
18:03What about your mum?
18:04She died, but you knew that, didn't you?
18:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
18:13Um, I think what your teachers want you to do
18:19is write something truthful, something that matters to you,
18:22so, um, why don't you write about your mum?
18:27I know that would be definitely something I'd be honoured to read.
18:31Oh, sorry.
18:38Hey, man, I'm going to ask you to be my crossword partner more often.
18:46Oh, that's your overproof, I see.
18:49Well, it must be very special if you have to keep it under lock and key.
18:53Oh, well, if I didn't,
18:54Kim would turn this liquid gold into banana cocktail or something foolish.
19:01I'm surprised that you are interested in my, um, rum collection.
19:07I would say you're more of a white wine kind of girl.
19:11I am, really, if I do drink, I'm not supposed to,
19:14but, um, I've always opened to new experiences,
19:16and I've always wanted to taste just a little bit.
19:18Well, you see, I brought this back from Trinidad in 2003,
19:22and that was the same trip that I met, Yolandi.
19:27Yeah, so one love of my life reminds me of the other.
19:31Ah, how romantic.
19:34Did you always know you were meant to be together?
19:37Oh, yeah, man.
19:39But it took us a while, though.
19:41You know, she comes, she goes.
19:44The part is never straight.
19:46But we got there in the end.
19:47Yeah.
19:49No?
19:53Oh!
19:56Oh, well, there.
19:58I don't think Harvey and I will ever get back together.
20:03Can't even rely on family.
20:05But a family stayed, right?
20:07Well, you'd have thought so, wouldn't you?
20:09But sometimes I wonder if I know any of them at all.
20:12I mean, take Cat, for example.
20:13Some of the things she says to me,
20:15I wonder if I ever known her at all.
20:17Well, it seems to me that you and Cat should sit down
20:20and have a talk, you know,
20:22with your own rum.
20:24So, go on.
20:27Talk to her.
20:28Oh, no, I can't go now.
20:31Don't worry, I'm not going anyplace
20:33that I'm not supposed to be.
20:36Listen, now, man,
20:37half a dozen people have asked me
20:39what time is my party tomorrow.
20:41Oh, it's supposed to be a surprise.
20:45Don't worry.
20:46I've got that surprise.
20:49So, go on.
20:50Have a talk.
20:52Hmm?
20:55My biggest worry is that I'll forget her.
20:57So, sometimes, I get my dad, Jay,
21:00to play some of the videos of her on his phone.
21:03And when I see her, it's like she never left.
21:09You want me to stop?
21:10No.
21:12No, I love it.
21:13It's, um...
21:14It's a wonderful tribute to your mum.
21:16It's just that, um...
21:18I get scared that I'll forget people, too.
21:23I recognise Mrs. Cotton,
21:29cos she used to live round here.
21:31Yeah, they all did.
21:32Well, you...
21:33You recognise your, um...
21:35Your great-uncle Grant, of course.
21:37You met him.
21:38He looks a bit like Grandad,
21:39but I like Grandad more.
21:41Well, your Grandad's a very special man.
21:43I don't know what I'd do without him.
21:47Who's that?
21:47It's my daughter, Claire.
21:50And is that her mum?
21:52Yeah.
21:56Who's that?
21:59That is Julie.
22:02Um...
22:03Who's that?
22:04It's Debbie.
22:07She's so pretty.
22:10Were you married?
22:11Yeah.
22:16But...
22:17You're still married to Julie?
22:20Yeah.
22:23If you're still married,
22:25why aren't you with her?
22:30Because I...
22:31I was worried.
22:32Uh, I'm...
22:34I didn't want her to feel, um...
22:40I didn't mean to make you upset.
22:42No, you didn't.
22:42You didn't.
22:43It's just, um...
22:44I get worried that I'll forget things.
22:49But, um...
22:51Maybe it'd be better if they were forgotten.
23:01Tommy let me in.
23:03Do you want a drink?
23:04No.
23:04I've had plenty.
23:08Listen, Jean, what I said to you this morning...
23:10It's all right.
23:11There's no need to apologise.
23:12I should never have accused you being with Phil.
23:15No, but you're right.
23:17I'm sorry I've hurt you.
23:21Smells good.
23:23Yeah, it's for Phil and Nigel.
23:25Phil's struggling right now,
23:26and if you don't get any help,
23:27he's gonna sink, so...
23:31Ah.
23:36Lex?
23:38Nigel!
23:39Nigel!
23:52Are you okay?
23:53Come and sit down.
24:03There's...
24:03There's something I have to tell you,
24:05and I don't know how to do it.
24:09It's okay.
24:11Just so.
24:14It's...
24:15It's been a terrible accident,
24:17and your mum's dead.
24:20I'm sorry.
24:21I'm so sorry.
24:22Nigel!
24:22What do you think you're doing?
24:25I have to tell her.
24:26What, her mum's dead?
24:27She thinks you don't know?
24:31Claire.
24:32This ain't Claire, all right?
24:34This happened before we vote, remember?
24:36Look.
24:37Debbie's dead.
24:38Yeah, Debbie died 30 years ago, mate.
24:40We've been talking about it for the last three days.
24:42Let's just get inside.
24:43Let's get inside.
24:44I'm so sorry.
24:45You all right, Lex?
24:50You're just sad, Grandad.
25:00Yesterday, you said that looking after Nigel is saving you.
25:03And I believe you.
25:05I don't think he's saving you.
25:07He's killing you, and you need help.
25:09I made Nigel a promise, all right?
25:12He's just going to fob him off on some stranger.
25:14You don't have to be a stranger.
25:17Listen, Nigel's clear, all right?
25:19He don't want Julie drawn into this.
25:21And anyway, he never agreed a bit.
25:23Well, then we don't ask him.
25:25He'll be on that now.
25:26Just call her, Phil.
25:27I'm scared.
25:30I'm scared for you, because you're too pig-headed to ask for help.
25:34And six months down the line, you could be back in that mental health unit.
25:39Or worse.
25:48Yeah.
25:50Got it.
25:53Thanks.
25:57Well, that'll give the neighbours' hat to talk about.
26:00Yeah.
26:01Give them something else to talk about, too.
26:04You and me, after Christmas Eve, boys are in bed.
26:07Do you remember?
26:08Don't, Nick.
26:10Don't what?
26:11You know what?
26:12Oh, you haven't gone all shy, have you?
26:14My naughty little elf.
26:16You really think I'd go back there after what you've done?
26:19I only put up with you because of them boys.
26:22So let's make this very clear.
26:24I think you're a nasty, toxic mess of a person, Nick.
26:30The most selfish, manipulative human I've ever had the misfortune of meeting, let alone marry.
26:36How can you say that to me?
26:38I am the mother of your children.
26:40Yes.
26:41You are.
26:42And God help them.
26:44And they're the only reason I'll tolerate you.
26:46But make no mistake.
26:47I despise you.
26:50I hate the very bones in your body.
26:54And even to look at you now makes me feel sick.
27:00Stop this, Nick.
27:01Stop it.
27:02Stop it, Nick.
27:03Stop it, Nick.
27:04Run!
27:04Run!
27:04Run!