Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
  • yesterday

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Okay, well, we've been up early to redecorate, so, er, we'll all just forget the epic meltdown.
00:22Keep calm, carry on.
00:24Yesterday was just a blip on what is going to be a lovely festive family day.
00:28Right, Billy and Honey are still coming and you boys are going to be there.
00:32God, this is a joke.
00:34Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
00:37Because he's got private elf care.
00:39That's a joke.
00:41And this is half Christmas.
00:43And it's mandatory.
00:45I wouldn't be half Christmas if we weren't papering over cracks.
00:49I wouldn't miss it for the world, Mum.
00:57Right.
00:59Paddy's party.
01:01Which one of these makes my eyes pop the most?
01:03Listen, I was thinking maybe we should give Julie a call, you know, having another familiar face around the place might help knock stuff like yesterday on the head.
01:12I made my decision and we made a pact.
01:16I think it's got to be this one.
01:18But don't need any.
01:19Not bad for a last minute brainstorm, eh?
01:31Paddy.
01:32No one calls him Paddy.
01:33Well, maybe you should.
01:35It's very endearing.
01:36And do not worry, there is no whiskey or creme liqueur in that.
01:40Only rum and bitters.
01:41I've done my research because I wanted to give him a little bit of peacock panache for his birthday.
01:46Now, I know Yolandi shook on 300, but I think another 80 should cover it.
01:54As and when you've got it, Hobbs.
01:55Um, Mum.
01:56Hmm.
01:57Yolandi and Kim wanted this to be a classier then.
02:00Yeah.
02:00I don't think umbrella straws and rum punch is what they were after.
02:04Well, no one does class like us and there's more surprises to come.
02:08So tell Kim I've got it covered, yeah?
02:10Okay.
02:11I am going to go get some coffees.
02:13I think we're going to need them.
02:14Oh, lovely.
02:16Mum, are you doing that thing where you throw yourself into something because something else is worrying you?
02:21And that something being George.
02:23George is ancient history.
02:28This is our pub.
02:31And getting it back on its feet has absolutely nothing to do with him.
02:35And he can whistle up a gum tree if he wants a slice out of it.
02:38Listen, why don't you go to your meeting?
02:41In fact, have the day off.
02:43Look, I'm sorry I left you with all the hard work.
02:46But Mother is back now.
02:52Oh, there is not.
02:53Now, it's not just Raymond and Pearl that you're looking after.
02:56You've got cats, kids too.
02:58So you tell your mates that they are the priority, right?
03:03Listen, no messing about.
03:04Don't worry, Mum.
03:05My boy's a good boy.
03:07So that was Howie.
03:09We've got Carter Caribbean Coop on our hands.
03:12I need to get over there.
03:13No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:13There's no time for that.
03:15What?
03:15We need to get Patrick to think that it's a fancy lunch.
03:18Remember?
03:19Not 12 rounds we've left at Laney.
03:21So let's fight, more pearly whites.
03:24Yeah.
03:24Yeah.
03:24Hey!
03:25Look at the wonderful girls.
03:28Are you all ready for a good time?
03:30All the time.
03:31Let's go.
03:32The call centre's rent's gone up and the mini-mart's overheads are a fortune, too.
03:40Well, I'm sure Ravi's got the same over at Wolf of the East.
03:43It's, um, risk and reward, ain't it?
03:45And anyway, who are we to question the Palazzo's empire, eh?
03:48Talking of questioning, have you seen these invoices from Mac and Sons?
03:53I'm presuming they're for work on some of the properties, but they are charging a bomb.
03:59Do you feel we should check with Sookie?
04:01Um, uh, don't, don't worry, I'll, um, I'll sort it.
04:07Less quarter day, yeah?
04:09Does Patrick even like cricket?
04:11He better.
04:12I mean, Grant's probably set a wicket up outside of Vic by now.
04:16Well, you're a trustman, Taylor.
04:17You coming to Patrick's party later?
04:18Um, maybe I'll, we'll see.
04:29So, have you already told her about us being official, or is that a way of showing us to all who knows?
04:34She's just jealous that you've stolen me away, that's all.
04:36I will tell her at the party, and all you need to do is pass the boyfriend.
04:45Right, who's for a top-up? Don't be shy.
04:48Sure.
04:50Billy, don't fill yourself up on those, and you'll spoil your lunch.
04:55We've always didn't have pigs in blankets for Christmas, did we?
04:58Not in here, is it?
05:00Oh, there's my baby!
05:02Oh, you're getting in the spirit, aren't you, darling?
05:05Well, well.
05:07Be calm and carry on, right?
05:09Sit down.
05:11Oh, I'll get it.
05:12Right, then.
05:13I'm going to top up these pigs in blankets.
05:15Seem to be running low.
05:26It's all right.
05:28What the hell's he doing here?
05:29Well, I invited him.
05:32Half Christmas is about family time.
05:35And he is family.
05:37Right?
05:37Brad, are you, er, are you sure about this?
05:49It's just, I really don't think parties and limbo sort of scream, I see.
05:54It's a party, darling.
05:55Your mum asks for help, and you two have done nothing but poke holes in it, so pipe down,
06:00all right?
06:00OK.
06:01Hey, what do you think?
06:03Hey!
06:03Hi!
06:04Yay!
06:05Oh, there he is, the birthday boy!
06:07What do I see here?
06:09Surprise!
06:11Yeah, classy lunch, I should have known.
06:15Well, you know, we thought you, you, you know, deserves something special.
06:20And very, very classy.
06:23Yeah, well, my wife-to-be and the girls all know what I like.
06:28Yay!
06:28Come on, look.
06:34Mission accomplished.
06:35Yeah.
06:39Is that you reporting?
06:41You know Chelsea's done a playlist, yeah?
06:44Yeah, of course, darling, but I added a few extra bits.
06:46Nothing's as classy like Annie, can't I?
06:52Who invited him?
06:53Oh, well, they're good mates, aren't they?
06:57Sorry.
06:57No, no.
06:58He needs to go.
07:05Now.
07:06Like I told you, I was invited.
07:08Yeah, well, you are family.
07:10Oh, you think this is funny, do you?
07:13Doing this to your brother?
07:15Doing what?
07:17Making him face the truth.
07:19Making us all face it.
07:20This ain't out of spite, Mum, it's for his own good.
07:22For his own good.
07:24Look at him.
07:26I'm gonna go.
07:27Maybe we should go.
07:28Oh, sit down.
07:29All right, this is a family occasion.
07:32Okay?
07:33And he ain't family.
07:35Teddy.
07:35Get him out now.
07:38Listen, mate.
07:47I'm sorry.
07:48I would never have done this to you.
07:50I just thought...
07:51I don't know what I thought.
07:54Yeah, I mean.
07:55What are you doing?
07:59Listen.
07:59I ain't here to score points, play games, whatever.
08:04I'm here for you.
08:05If you ever need me, you know to call.
08:09See you later, mate.
08:12You all right, Mum?
08:14It's fine.
08:16We're all fine.
08:18Right.
08:19Who's up for charades?
08:20Me.
08:21Yes.
08:38I can't post this.
08:4280 quid.
08:43They're charging us an extra 80 quid for cultural aggravation.
08:46That's what they're gonna say on the comments.
08:48It's appropriation.
08:48What is aggravation for me?
08:50Can you just relax?
08:52I quite like this, you know.
08:54This punch is pretty good, to be fair.
08:56It's supposed to be a classy party.
08:58You know?
08:59A drum over the rocks.
09:01Civilised chit-chat.
09:03Not limbo and dull boys' blue lagoon.
09:05He's having a good time.
09:07And all you both know that deep down,
09:09carnival gets classy in your book.
09:12Just forget what some idiot says online and enjoy yourself.
09:17There's something else, you know.
09:18You know what?
09:21I say if you can't beat them, you'll have to dip them out, innit?
09:24Innit.
09:24Okay, here we go.
09:26Here we go.
09:27Here we go.
09:31Do I need to count the jugs when you're gone?
09:33I mean, you're only here to price up what you're gonna steal from me, right?
09:36I'm here for Patrick.
09:38Not well.
09:39Well, you're gonna get one if you don't clear off.
09:44I'm sorry I lost my temper.
09:47I'm 58 years old.
09:48This place was my library.
09:49What do you want me to do?
09:50I don't care what you do.
09:51We signed a postmark.
09:54And if you were half the man I thought you were,
09:57you wouldn't be here cap in hand for my money.
10:02Yeah.
10:03And if you were half the woman I thought you were,
10:06we'd still be together.
10:07Overproof.
10:15I ain't drinking this.
10:17You're an evil.
10:18All right, shoot yourselves.
10:19It does the trick.
10:20How long is that film gonna last?
10:22I don't know.
10:22Until I put the next one on.
10:23Obviously, Ricky's dark dust,
10:25so there's plenty more to go around,
10:26so let's drink up.
10:27Well, this is tragic.
10:29Get out before I throw you out.
10:30I can't have a peace offering.
10:32What's all you can do with it?
10:36Look, guys.
10:37I've been an idiot, all right?
10:40I know there's probably nothing I can do or say
10:42to make up for it,
10:44but for what it's worth,
10:46I am sorry, anyway.
10:50We can stop your sorries.
10:53But I will take that.
10:55Stay out my way, yeah?
10:57Where's that bottle of vodka you got, is it?
10:59I just walked past Patrick's, too.
11:01Reckon I could charm us a job or two off the lane.
11:03Dad, don't bother.
11:04We've got enough.
11:04Nobody's drinking that.
11:08It's a good idea.
11:09Oh, leave it to me.
11:10No, no, look.
11:11It's my family, dude.
11:13I'll sort it.
11:14It's nice to see Nigel having fun, isn't it?
11:32Yeah, he's really bounced back, hasn't he?
11:34Carol wants to be a cool Julian for some help, but...
11:37Well, Nigel won't, I bet.
11:39Well, I just hope he was a blip, you know.
11:41It's all about distractions, isn't it?
11:42Yeah.
11:43I think it's really good, eh,
11:45you've been taking care of Nigel.
11:47But don't forget to look after yourself and all, man.
11:52And Raymond's been to you, too.
11:54Cheers.
11:55No bloodshed yet, then.
12:04Oh, for now.
12:05I've texted Mum, she's on her way over.
12:08Oh, there we go.
12:11That's more fun on the way.
12:12She hates me.
12:14Because of Keanu.
12:15And now, Felix is going to tell her we're official.
12:19Do you really like him?
12:20Yeah.
12:21Yeah.
12:24Well, then, you'd better make sure that she likes you.
12:28Because the last thing that we need is the past coming back to haunt us.
12:42Okay.
12:43Go on, then.
12:45Said you were going to sort her?
12:46Sort her.
12:47Wait.
12:49Wait.
12:50You all right?
12:56Sorry to hear about you and George.
12:57If I was 20 years old, I didn't know.
13:00You still wouldn't stand a chance.
13:05Look.
13:06Come on, Elaine.
13:08I'm 17 sooner.
13:10You know me.
13:11You know the family.
13:13A class each of this isn't going to hurt anyone, is it?
13:17We're celebrating Patrick, and my dad's over there.
13:19He said he's cool with it.
13:25Yeah, all right.
13:26One glass each, but that's all, yeah?
13:29And then go and enjoy yourselves.
13:32Because that's what I intend to do.
13:33Yeah, cool.
13:41It's all right.
13:48Phil.
13:50Peter Rabbit.
13:52Oh, Peter Rabbit too.
13:53Oh, if you're not going to play properly, then don't play at all.
13:56You've caused enough trouble today, as it is.
14:01Pretty woman.
14:02No.
14:04Come on, Barn.
14:04Get involved.
14:06Right.
14:06The devil wears Prada.
14:12Where's Prada?
14:13Yeah.
14:14Oh, no, not that you're the devil.
14:17It's just...
14:18Barn, where are you going?
14:19Barn!
14:21Barn!
14:21Oh, this is more me.
14:30It's cheap vodka.
14:31Well done, Dan.
14:32Fair play, mate.
14:33That was all you.
14:34It's your idea, though.
14:35Right.
14:36Well, me and you, we're stickering the proper stuff.
14:38Don't want to be mixing our drinks, do we?
14:39Yes.
14:39Cheers.
14:40The devil's finished!
14:41It was rubbish, by the way!
14:44All right, well, I'll put another one on.
14:45You chose it.
14:46The board.
14:46Proper boards.
14:47Do you guys want the console on?
14:48Yeah?
14:49I'll put the console on.
14:49All right.
14:49Are you going to put some music on or what?
14:54Yeah, all right.
14:55Dan, do you got a speaker?
14:56Uh, check around the kitchen.
14:58Stay on.
14:59It's Patrick's party, Mum.
15:01If he wants to have a drink with George, that is his choice.
15:04Yeah, and it's your choice to come back and get busy.
15:07When I told you to have a day off.
15:09I am fine.
15:11Look, I know you're angry, all right?
15:12But it's only money.
15:14George is trying to start a new chapter the same as you.
15:17Look, Johnny texts me because he's worried about you, Mum.
15:21And so am I.
15:23Maybe if you calm down and lay off the drink a bit,
15:26you might realise that you're better off with a clean break and no bad feeling.
15:30Because this is becoming a problem, Mum.
15:33This is our pub, and I am entitled to have a drink.
15:37My only problem is keeping George's hand out of my purse,
15:39and that is exactly what I'm going to do.
15:42Look, I know we weren't exactly subtle,
15:45but we just wanted to tell you that we're going to give it a proper go.
15:47I think officially.
15:49And you are my cousin and my best mate,
15:51so, uh,
15:52well, your approval's all I need.
15:56Right.
15:57On that note, I need a top-up,
15:59and I will leave you to give him the once-over here.
16:01So, it's going well, then,
16:11the panacea stuff.
16:16OK.
16:18I know you don't like me,
16:20and I understand.
16:22But I really like Felix,
16:25and he loves you, so...
16:27So, can we just try and put everything in the past?
16:32Yeah, no, you're right.
16:34No, why shouldn't I be happy about you
16:36being with my cousin and your family
16:37while I'm all on my own?
16:41Your mum killed my brother,
16:44and you helped her get away with it.
16:46It's not the past for me, Johnny.
16:48It's my life.
16:49It's my life.
16:57I had to get out of there meself,
17:00but your mum is one glass of Buck's Fizz away
17:04from strangling your brother with them lights.
17:12I'm sorry, mate.
17:14You didn't deserve that.
17:16Your brother's a prat with a point to make,
17:18and in this world, there ain't much worse.
17:23He did it to you, too.
17:25Ain't you angry?
17:26Well, I'd be a lot angrier
17:29if I didn't think he had a point.
17:34And when we found out
17:36you were a boy,
17:39I remember thinking,
17:41why, they all sussed.
17:42Nudy drill.
17:44Bit of football.
17:45Clip round the ear every now and then.
17:47Worked for Harry.
17:49Thought that's how it was done, you know?
17:52And then you came along.
17:56And you were different.
18:00Mate, you liked books for a start
18:02and hated anything with a ball that weren't Pokemon.
18:07You were cautious.
18:10Clever.
18:10Kind.
18:14And you used to give me a hug
18:15before you went to bed.
18:20I couldn't work you out.
18:23But I loved every second of it, mate.
18:26Every second.
18:27I've taken more hidings in my life
18:34than I'd like to admit.
18:36But finding out about this one...
18:39nothing's hurt me more.
18:45Nothing.
18:49But the truth is...
18:51nothing's changed for me.
18:55I look at you now
18:56and I still feel the same.
18:59The same as I felt
19:00when I held you in my arms
19:02as a baby.
19:03You're mine,
19:07but...
19:08you're my son.
19:10And I am proud to be your dad
19:12and nothing's gonna change that.
19:18Your mum...
19:20she's embarrassed.
19:22She's taken it out on Zach.
19:24But for me,
19:28he's the unlucky one
19:29because he's the one
19:30that's not had you in his life.
19:34And if he cares enough
19:36to want to know you,
19:39then I'll love you enough
19:41to put my ego aside
19:44and let him in your life, mate.
19:49That's what you want.
19:50I love you.
19:54I wanted to ignore it,
20:03but we can't, can we?
20:05And this ain't his fault.
20:07It's not ours, either.
20:09I love you, Dad.
20:12I don't need him.
20:15What pushing him away
20:16ain't fair, is it?
20:18And what he's doing
20:19is pushing us further
20:21from each other, too.
20:24You're the smartest person
20:26I know, bud.
20:28So I know you'll make
20:29the right call
20:30for all of us.
20:46I want my clunkies.
20:48That's a show.
20:49Are you all right, man?
20:51Are you good?
20:52I'm fine.
20:52You don't look good.
20:54Bro, you don't.
20:55Do you want some water?
20:56I don't want some water.
20:58I don't want some water.
20:58Sorry.
21:00Guys, where's the other jug?
21:04I should be checking
21:10for zip tyres and vans, or what?
21:12We don't do gifts at half-Christmas,
21:16but thank you.
21:18I know these are book vouchers,
21:20but I think this place
21:21sells board games as well.
21:23Might get Mum a new one
21:24for next year.
21:25I think today put her
21:26off charades for good.
21:28It's all right.
21:29I'm sorry.
21:30Yeah, I'll just...
21:30No, it's OK.
21:32I'm sorry, too.
21:34I mean, Harry did kidnap you,
21:36so I'm not really sure
21:37why you'd trust him.
21:38But still, I'm sorry.
21:40It's more hope
21:41than expectation, mate.
21:43Story of my life.
21:47Look, I know this is weird,
21:49but maybe it doesn't have
21:51to be this weird, right?
21:53Yeah.
22:00I don't need a dad.
22:02I've got one.
22:04I could always do
22:04with more friends,
22:05cos I'm not exactly
22:06Mr. Popular around here.
22:09You know?
22:10Even if you are
22:10in your mid-thirties
22:11and share my DNA.
22:14So, maybe we could start there?
22:23I'd really like that, mate.
22:28It's hard not to drink it.
22:30I can't believe
22:31they did the whole jug.
22:32OK.
22:32Look, I need water.
22:33I need water.
22:34Yeah, good.
22:36Look, Raymond,
22:37you're OK, mate, yeah?
22:38I just need you to drink
22:38this and lay down.
22:39Come on.
22:39You're all right, mate, yeah?
22:40Come on.
22:41I feel sick.
22:43Denzel, we need to call someone.
22:43No, no, no, no.
22:45We don't need to call anybody.
22:46They're going to be fine.
22:46I will sort it out.
22:49Can someone get him some water?
22:51It's all right, but...
22:53All right, all right.
22:59I want to thank all of you
23:00for coming to my surprise party.
23:03You know, I had no idea at all,
23:05you know?
23:07Man, I want to thank
23:09my beautiful wife-to-be
23:11and my girls and them,
23:13you know,
23:13for organizing this surprise.
23:16You're welcome.
23:18OK, OK.
23:19So, why don't we all
23:20raise a glass, yeah?
23:22To Patrick!
23:27And to real men,
23:29unlike George over here,
23:31who would like me to maintain
23:32his lifestyle
23:34without his second name.
23:36Go on.
23:37No, no, no.
23:37Everyone loves George,
23:38don't they?
23:40But in the meantime,
23:41he's got his hand in my purse.
23:42You wouldn't get Patrick doing that,
23:44or Phil,
23:45or any man
23:46with any decency.
23:48Oh, calm down.
23:49Hey, Patrick,
23:51got your cake.
23:52She's drunk.
23:53And she's
23:54the one who cheated.
23:55It's always the ones
23:57you least expect.
23:58Oh, yeah.
24:00Like you weren't
24:00in and out
24:01of your old rose bush
24:02every chance you got.
24:05I'm as sober as a judge,
24:07but I now see people
24:09for who they really are.
24:10Say cheers,
24:12everyone.
24:13Miss,
24:14Miss Raymond and the twins,
24:15they need an ambulance now.
24:17They've been drinking the punch.
24:18What?
24:18Come on, come on.
24:24So,
24:25he definitely failed
24:27the best friend,
24:27boyfriend,
24:28check them.
24:30I'm sorry,
24:31all right?
24:32Look,
24:37I know that I've been
24:39spending a lot of time
24:40with him recently.
24:41I promise
24:42I will make time
24:43for you too.
24:45Because official or not,
24:46when you've got me,
24:48you're not alone.
24:51Okay?
24:54Okay.
24:58Come here.
24:59I love you.
25:14Right,
25:14where are they?
25:17Move.
25:19I said move!
25:22Come here, darling.
25:23You okay?
25:25Baby?
25:26Baby?
25:27Pearl,
25:27you all right?
25:28Yeah.
25:28You sure?
25:29You're all
25:31going to be fine.
25:32Okay?
25:35You all are.
25:43Oh,
25:43there you are.
25:45You got it out
25:46of your system then.
25:48You know,
25:48if you're hungry,
25:49there's plenty of food
25:50left over.
25:50Well,
25:51bar the pigs in blankets.
25:52We'll have to get
25:53more in next year
25:54for Billy.
25:55Maybe we can
25:56give Monopoly
25:57a spin too,
25:57eh?
25:57Okay.
25:59Well,
26:00I'm going to head
26:01upstairs now.
26:02Let this play out.
26:10Today was supposed to be
26:11a nice family day.
26:12You know,
26:13to remember the good times.
26:14And he's ruined it.
26:15I mean,
26:15you're an idiot,
26:17but the front of him
26:18turning up here like that...
26:19It ain't his fault.
26:21And it ain't Harry's either.
26:22It's yours.
26:24And we went and saw Zach.
26:26Barney is going to have him
26:27in his life,
26:28whether you like it or not.
26:30And the way I see it,
26:32he needs more
26:33good people in his life.
26:35Merry half-Christmas, Mum.
26:45How could you be so stupid?
26:47I let a 16-year-old
26:48have one cocktail
26:49and a family do
26:50that he told me
26:51his father had okayed.
26:53How is I to know
26:53he's going to steal
26:54a couple of jugs
26:55and feed them to kids?
26:56Listen to yourself.
26:58You believed him
26:59without talking to Howie.
27:01You have put them kids
27:01in hospital
27:02and have a licence at risk.
27:03Chelsea said
27:04the paramedics told her
27:05they're going to be fine.
27:06But don't worry, Donnie.
27:06You make me the villain
27:07because you'd rather be here
27:09with your pal George,
27:10wouldn't you?
27:10What?
27:10I'm your mum
27:11and this is our pub.
27:13Yeah, and you're acting
27:13like a spoilt brat.
27:15Mum, calm down.
27:15No, no.
27:16All right, she needs to hear it.
27:18Yeah.
27:18Yeah, your marriage is over.
27:20And yeah, it's sad,
27:21but that doesn't give you
27:22the right to act like a teenager
27:24who's had her heart broken.
27:26I can't do this, all right?
27:28I can hardly look after myself.
27:29I can't look after you
27:31and this pub as well.
27:32Let me have a little think.
27:34I might have looked after you
27:35a few times, yeah?
27:36You really want to start
27:37tallying up who's made more mistakes?
27:39I have a long way to go
27:40before I catch up with you.
27:42I don't need you
27:43looking after me
27:44or this pub.
27:45I can look after both
27:46on my own.
27:48Be the landlords.
27:50We've been informed
27:50that Amarno and Walford General
27:51reserved alcohol
27:52from these premises.
27:54We're here to investigate.
27:54Okay?
27:56Well done, Mother.
27:57Thank you for her.
28:03I've been a must for her.
28:03What do I mean by her?
28:04Okay.