When Every Conversation Feels Like a Trigger  Here’s What to Do. - video Dailymotion

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Do you feel like every time you bring up something important in your relationship, your partner shuts down, gets defensive, or turns it back on you?  This video will help you: ✅ Understand why defensiveness shows up ✅ Say the hard thing without triggering your partner ✅ Set healthy boundaries without guilt ✅ Identify when it’s not repair—it’s burnout  Because repair is a two-person job. Let this be the moment you stop personalizing the shutdown—and start communicating from strength, softness, and self-respect.  🔔 Follow for more relationship & emotional intelligence content. 💬 Share your story in the comments—let’s heal together.

Transcript

00:00What do you do if your partner always feels attacked when you bring up an issue in your

00:04relationship? Let's start here. You're not wrong for bringing something up. You're not too sensitive.

00:09You're not always starting something. You're trying to connect, but every time you do,

00:13it's like walking into a landmine. Boom. Defensiveness. Shutdown. Shame spiral. Now

00:19you're the problem for bringing it up in the first place, and now we're dealing with the trigger

00:23instead of what you brought up. I worked with a couple. Let's call them Jamie and Ari. Every fight

00:27followed the same script. Jamie brings something up. Ari gets defensive. Jamie gets sharper. Ari shuts

00:32down. Cue. Silence. Resentment. Two people lying back to back in bed texting their therapist.

00:37Neither of them were trying to be difficult. They just didn't know how to bring up the hard stuff

00:41without it sounding harsh, and Ari didn't know how to receive it without hearing, you're failing.

00:47So what do you actually do? You start here. Don't just say what's true. Say it in a way that keeps

00:51the door open. So instead of, you never listen to me. Just make it about yourself, aka instant

00:57defensiveness. Incoming shutdown. Try. I'm feeling unheard. I really want us to stay connected

01:02through this. Can we slow it down together? Same core message. Totally. Different. Impact.

01:07That's you being skillful. Now, you might be thinking, what if their reaction doesn't change,

01:12even after I've softened? What if I say the hard thing with heart, and they still shut down,

01:17still defend, still make it about themselves? Then you've just gotten really important data.

01:22It doesn't mean you failed, and it doesn't mean they're cruel. So what can you do? You start

01:26setting boundaries from self-respect. So you might say something like, hey, listen, I want to work

01:31through this, but if I can't bring something up without it turning into a blowup, we're going to

01:35need to get help, or space, or both. That's not a threat. That's an invitation to evolve. Because

01:40repair is a two-person job. If you're the only one doing it, it's not repair. It's burnout dressed up as

01:45effort.

When Every Conversation Feels Like a Trigger Here’s What to Do.

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