- 6/14/2025
Celebrity Gogglebox Season 7 Episode 2
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Short filmTranscript
00:00What have we got behind us here, Luke?
00:01What have we got?
00:02What haven't we got, probably?
00:04So, what are these for...?
00:06Premier League nightly wins.
00:07Is that from this year?
00:09Probably this year or last year.
00:10Yeah. How many did you get? Five this year?
00:13Four, yeah. Five.
00:14And you get a nice bonus as well, don't you, for winning the night?
00:16We can all do the maths, Luke. What's that?
00:18Whoa, five times. Whoa, you're doing all right.
00:21Nice, some nice family photos.
00:23But you can do all this.
00:25You can't pass your driving theory.
00:30Ah! What?
00:32I'm so happy for you.
00:33Woo!
00:34I feel bad even saying it, but you're half-look at it.
00:36Oh, no!
00:39I don't want to go to space.
00:40She's a United fan.
00:41Oh, I've gone right off. There you go.
00:43Oh!
00:44Stop it.
00:45Not a great time to have pizza, is it?
00:47Oh, yeah.
00:49This is what we've tuned in for.
00:50Oh, no.
00:51Ooh, trickier. Ooh.
00:54Chill, chill, relax and chill.
00:55Fish bumpies!
00:57Wee-hee!
00:58It's literally the greatest moment of my life.
01:00In the week we bid a fond farewell to Beach Boys legend Brian Wilson, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:08There was more happenings at the hospital on BBC One.
01:12All I'm saying is what is the point of having a wedding if you can't cop off one of the groomsmen?
01:17What?
01:20Have an OK, Reader?
01:21Yeah.
01:22What do you think is in that bag?
01:24Croissant?
01:25I reckon it's an almond croissant.
01:27A what?
01:28Almond croissant.
01:29But why did you go for almond?
01:31When you order an almond croissant, what do you say?
01:33Almond.
01:34What?
01:35Like all normal people.
01:37What do you mean, all normal people?
01:39Almond.
01:41Almond.
01:42Almond.
01:43No, shut up.
01:44It's an almond.
01:45No.
01:46What?
01:47I'm rubbing off on you.
01:50You're making me northern.
01:51And you're from the Midlands.
01:53Clarkson's Countryside Capers continued on Prime Video.
01:58We had now reached the middle of July.
02:01And under a canopy of blue skies, the crops appeared to be coming along nicely.
02:08I grew up on a farm.
02:09What animals did you have?
02:11We had cows, sheep, we had otters.
02:16That classic farmyard animal.
02:19I love that bit of old MacDonald had a farm.
02:23And pets were in safe hands with the Yorkshire vet on Channel 5.
02:28Good lass.
02:29It's all right.
02:30You don't need to worry.
02:33We'll look after you.
02:35My mother once had a golden retriever that used to eat dishcloths.
02:38They used to go all the way through.
02:41Oh my gosh.
02:43And out the other end.
02:44Completely undigested.
02:45And not always come out.
02:46So she would have to stand on one end of the dishcloth and throw a ball.
02:50And the rest of the dishcloth.
03:02In Essex.
03:03They're lovely crisps then.
03:05I like them.
03:06Kettle chips.
03:07Those were the kettle ones.
03:09They're nice.
03:10They cook them in a kettle.
03:11Rylan and his mum Linda.
03:13So you know like your kettle.
03:14Yeah.
03:15For example you could slice up potato.
03:16Right this ain't a wind up.
03:17I'm telling you now mum.
03:18Oh.
03:19That's why they're called kettle chips.
03:20I'm going to try then.
03:21You slice up potato.
03:22Put it in.
03:23Yeah.
03:24And the salt cut.
03:25You're winding me up, ain't ya?
03:26Oh is that your bare darms?
03:29Sorry.
03:30Look.
03:31Do you know what?
03:32Only when you said I'm going to try it I thought you better f*** not.
03:36You can burn the answer.
03:38On Saturday night it was time to find out how clever some famous faces were on ITV.
03:44I'm actually getting a little bit hot now thinking about the fact we're going to have
03:47to try and answer this question and I think you're going to get it and I'm not because
03:51the 1% Club is not my comfort zone.
03:53How would you say your general knowledge is?
03:55Not good.
03:56Not good.
03:57No.
03:58I'll be honest that was the answer I was expecting.
03:59Yeah.
04:00And you got the right answer.
04:01You just have no general knowledge.
04:03Because you don't watch the news.
04:04I do watch the news.
04:05Do you?
04:06Yeah.
04:07I always swipe to the like little side like thing on my phone.
04:10I don't mean the news on your phone I mean on the TV.
04:12Yeah I watch you.
04:13Do you?
04:14When mum puts it on.
04:15Tonight our contestants are all professional footballers and celebrities who support Soccer Aid.
04:20Why haven't they asked me to play in Soccer Aid?
04:23Oh I hate it when they do celebrity versions of stuff.
04:27It's never as good as just the normal ones.
04:35I normally do quite alright on this.
04:37You're good at any quiz you are.
04:39It's time for our first question.
04:42Right get ready.
04:43Lock in.
04:44Lock in.
04:4590% this is always easy.
04:46This is like what day is it?
04:48Which of the following three pieces doesn't correctly match the image?
04:53Oh I like Jill Scott.
04:54I do.
04:58Easily the A.
04:59Earring B.
05:00Yeah. Earring B.
05:01Wait the eye?
05:02No it's not the eye.
05:03No the earring.
05:04What doesn't match?
05:05Doesn't match.
05:07No I think there's an extra wrinkle there and there shouldn't be.
05:10But then it, no because of a mouth.
05:12Oh my god.
05:13I think her eye is okay.
05:14The mouth isn't.
05:15I think it's the eyebrow.
05:16No it's B.
05:17It's A.
05:18It's B.
05:19Nobody should get this wrong.
05:23We can't be out for this one.
05:25See that's the thing as well.
05:26They always make it easy for celebrities because shoes are all thick.
05:30I've even forgot what we did.
05:32Yeah.
05:33We was naming what we did.
05:34B.
05:35Did we do?
05:36Yeah yeah.
05:37One out?
05:38Right we lost one of you.
05:39He's a referee.
05:40Is he?
05:41Yeah.
05:42See what they say about referees boy.
05:43You don't know what you're doing.
05:44He's the ref that's always on Sky.
05:46Stands by the wrong decisions.
05:47So I'm glad he's out.
05:48It's B.
05:49Because the earring is different on Jill's ear.
05:50Woo!
05:51We got it right B.
05:52Yes indeed.
05:5390% of the country got that right.
05:54And you and the ref got it wrong.
05:55Let's move on to the 35% question.
05:56Oh 35 mate.
05:57Oh no.
05:58Oh no.
05:59Oh no.
06:00Oh no.
06:01Oh no.
06:02Get on your game.
06:03This is going to be hard.
06:04Oh trickier.
06:05Oh.
06:06Which Premier League football team is this rhyming code for?
06:07Nest Jam.
06:08Nest Jam.
06:09It's not West Ham is it?
06:10Ah!
06:11He's on it.
06:12He's on it.
06:13It's West Ham.
06:14West Ham.
06:15Why is it West Ham?
06:16Nest Jam.
06:17Food's Nest Jam Jam.
06:18Yeah.
06:19It's not West Ham is it?
06:20Ah!
06:21He's on it.
06:22He's on it.
06:23It's West Ham.
06:24West Ham.
06:25Why is it West Ham?
06:26Nest Jam.
06:27Food's Nest Jam Jam Jam.
06:29Yeah.
06:30Jam Jam Jam.
06:31Yeah.
06:32Bird's Nest Jam Jam Jam.
06:34Come on.
06:35Tottenham.
06:36Let's pot.
06:37Tottenham.
06:38Tottenham.
06:39Tottenham.
06:40It's a rhyming.
06:41Yes bro.
06:42Tottenham.
06:43Premier League football.
06:44West Ham.
06:45Nest.
06:46West Ham.
06:47Liverpool.
06:48I don't know all the teams.
06:49Nest.
06:50Brentford.
06:51Nest Jam.
06:52Nest Jam.
06:53No don't say Nest Jam.
06:54You said Nest Jam 17 times now.
06:55It's not helping.
06:56West Ham!
06:57West Ham!
06:58What?
06:59Nest Jam Villa.
07:00Yeah.
07:01No idea.
07:02Nest Jam.
07:03Nest Jam.
07:04Nest Jam.
07:05West Jam.
07:06West Ham!
07:07West Ham.
07:08West Ham rhymes with Nest Jam.
07:10I can't believe you actually got that right.
07:12That's fucking unbelievable.
07:14I'm not going to lie, that was very quick for me.
07:16I'm quite proud of that.
07:17That's it.
07:18Nest Jam!
07:19Yeah, if you say it quick and fuck.
07:20Ooh!
07:21Ooh!
07:22Ooh!
07:23Nest Jam!
07:24It's time for the 30% question.
07:25Come on Perry.
07:26Head in the game.
07:2730% question.
07:28What does that even mean?
07:29Which England footballer is spelt out in this code below?
07:30Oh no.
07:31Huh?
07:32How am I supposed to know hieroglyphics?
07:33I used to know them, I used to learn them.
07:34I used to have a hieroglyphics bookmark on papyrus.
07:35What?
07:36They've got to be Roman letters or something.
07:39Snake-eye bird wave, whale comb eye foot wings.
07:43Wait, let me concentrate.
07:48Oh, er...
07:50What? There's got to be Roman letters of summer.
07:54Snake-eye, bird-wave, whale, comb-eye-foot wings.
07:59Wait, let me concentrate.
08:03Oh, er...
08:05It's got Frank Kirby, I think. I think one of us has to just gamble.
08:08You have to go summer and I'll go summer. Otherwise, we're both out.
08:13Hey, Mary Earps. I'm going to go Frank Kirby.
08:16It's Frank Kirby because the second letter of the first name
08:19and the third letter of the last name are the same in Fran and Kirby.
08:24Makes no sense at all. Absolutely not.
08:26I think I'm using a pass. I've definitely used my pass.
08:29Let's see who got it right. Everyone's going to be out.
08:31This is going to separate the wheat from the chaff, I'll tell you that for now.
08:36Oh, and they're just ticking them off.
08:39Well, and me. No, because we used a pass.
08:41Fifteen out! That's a lot of people like...
08:43Yeah, I think there's a lot of people like me going,
08:45what? It's Frank Kirby.
08:46It's Frank Kirby. The only symbol that is repeated
08:48represents the second letter of the first name
08:50and the third letter of the second name.
08:52Mmm! Mmm!
08:55Well, you need to go on there.
08:56Is that your most clever now?
08:58Oh, no. Absolutely not.
09:00You took a guess and I took a guess.
09:02Strategically, we played for each other there because we took a punt each.
09:05After whittling down the sports stars and celebrities here in the studio,
09:08we are left with the 1% question.
09:10This is it. Right, deals, come on.
09:11The 1% question because you've never watched this before.
09:14Yeah, good luck, first of all.
09:16Erm, it's basically impossible.
09:18Yeah.
09:19So, I can't point to where as hard this is going to be.
09:21In the opening verse to the original version of Three Lions,
09:26what two words feature exactly three times in the lyrics?
09:30Mum, please don't.
09:32Mum, please don't.
09:33They've seen it all before.
09:36They just know.
09:37They're so sure.
09:41Is it it?
09:42It!
09:43It!
09:44It!
09:45It!
09:46It!
09:47It!
09:48It!
09:49It!
09:50It!
09:51It!
09:52So, it and no.
09:53No.
09:54Ah!
09:55It and no.
09:56England is going to throw, blow it away, but no.
09:57Yeah.
09:58So, no.
09:59Is it no?
10:00I don't know.
10:02Oh, this game's stressing me out.
10:04Three no's.
10:05It's no and it!
10:06No and it!
10:07Yeah, there's three no's.
10:08No and it!
10:09No and it.
10:10It and no.
10:12It and no.
10:13That's what I said.
10:14I said no, did I?
10:15Yeah, you said no.
10:18No and it!
10:19Yeah!
10:20Ha ha ha!
10:22It's literally the greatest moment of my life!
10:25Why didn't they ask you on then?
10:27Can't believe it.
10:28And they all thought I was dopey.
10:30Yeah.
10:31But why did we get it right?
10:32Because you're fucking intelligent.
10:34You're answering things right and you just do it automatically.
10:37Yeah.
10:38Yeah.
10:39With all thought.
10:40As soon as you start thinking.
10:41I do everything without thought.
10:43I mean there's nothing worse than fucking thinking is there?
10:45Yeah, yeah.
10:48In West London.
10:49You know I was supposed to be a doctor.
10:51Is that like your biggest flex?
10:52No, it's not flex.
10:53I'm just saying.
10:54It's a proper job with proper money and proper prospects.
10:57And you would enjoy it.
10:58Krishna and his daughter Jasmine.
11:01Your mum said your job isn't a proper job.
11:03Well my job isn't a proper job.
11:04She's right.
11:05Okay, so you can't look down on me if I don't have a proper job
11:08because you don't have a proper job.
11:09But you literally don't have a proper job.
11:10Because I'm 19?
11:11At least I've got a job that isn't a proper job.
11:12Because I'm 19?
11:13No, I know.
11:14But I don't know what you're going to do.
11:15I'll be fine.
11:16I know you'll be fine.
11:18On Tuesday night we were back in the Dales checking in on our furry friends on Channel 5.
11:24You've got the biggest fly on your face.
11:26Oh!
11:27Get it off!
11:28I've never seen the Yorkshire vet.
11:29Do you watch it?
11:30But I think the vet's is about animals, isn't it?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Someone's getting it put down today, innit?
11:36I hope not, but it is.
11:38In the heart of glorious North Yorkshire, just outside the historic market town of Thirsk,
11:45sits Stony Brough Farm.
11:46Have you heard of All Creatures Great and Small?
11:47No.
11:48I mean, this is like the real life All Creatures Great and Small.
11:50What's that?
11:51All my family's from Yorkshire, bar me.
11:53Who's Lancastrian?
11:54Mum and Dad are Yorkshire.
11:55Grandparents Yorkshire.
11:56The real life Battle of the Roses.
11:58Yeah.
11:59Do you know what?
12:00I bet they have random animals these days come in, don't they?
12:04Right into vets, yeah?
12:05Yeah, not just dogs.
12:06I bet they have hamsters.
12:09Yeah?
12:10Matt's latest exotic patient of the thirst practice.
12:16Oh, what are they taking in?
12:17It's an Australian marsupial from Cannon Hall Farm.
12:20A what?
12:21Clawlaba.
12:22A sugar glider called Pilot.
12:24What the hell is that?
12:25It looks like a mare cat mixed with a squirrel.
12:27What?
12:28How much do you reckon they'd be?
12:29Not much.
12:30Can we get one?
12:31No.
12:32Who needs castrating?
12:34He's getting his sugar lumps cut off.
12:37Why?
12:38That seems a bit harsh.
12:39And I'm going to be honest, on an animal that small, that's going to be tricky.
12:43Good luck.
12:44One of the biggest challenges is getting him under anaesthetic to start with, which is transferring
12:48from his little box to the little anaesthetic chamber that we've got and not losing him.
12:52Look at Pilot there, he's blissfully unaware.
12:56That little thing don't want to be castrated and live in Yorkshire.
12:59No.
13:00Who does?
13:01Certainly he'll be angry, he'll be flighty, and we're going to need to be quick off the
13:04mark.
13:05Damn right he's going to be pissed.
13:06Why are you taking away his nuts?
13:07Sometimes you get them quite nice, you know, but it's very much Jekyll and Hyde.
13:11And certainly when you see the teeth, you don't want to be bitten by one.
13:14Ooh.
13:15We'll be in front of things.
13:16Someone tried to cut my bollocks off, I'd bite them.
13:18How many of them are there in the world?
13:20Yeah, has he got lots of experience?
13:21In York, around Thirsk.
13:23Knowing he could encounter some turbulence with Pilot.
13:27Some turbulence with Pilot, did you get that?
13:30Great banter.
13:31Matt's assembled a crew of nurses, Frankie, Robin and Amy.
13:35So confused.
13:36There's four of them to deal with the flying gerbil.
13:40Right, little Pilot, just see how angry they get.
13:42Here we go.
13:44Ooh!
13:45Ooh!
13:46Rippin' hell!
13:49Oh, he's fuming.
13:50He's absolutely livid.
13:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:55The reason he's come in, because he's just had four new ladies put in with him and he's
13:58pestering them.
13:59He's pestering all the ladies.
14:00Sorry, Pilot, they've got to go, mate.
14:02They've got to go.
14:03Well, I think that's what they should do to all pests.
14:06Send them in to see the Yorkshire vet.
14:09We'll hold them like that.
14:10Ooh, look at the size of them.
14:12Oh, wow!
14:14Massive nuts?
14:16Yeah!
14:17Man!
14:18For such a small thing.
14:19Definitely gets the award for the smallest scrotum area.
14:24Hang on, love.
14:25I might be able to say that.
14:27If you are giving out a cup or something, a certificate,
14:31can I throw my name into the hat?
14:36This is slightly different to normal castration.
14:38Is it?
14:39We're just going to use a searing,
14:41cautery device like a hot blade to cut straight across from the testicles and the scrotum.
14:45Ah!
14:46Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:48It'll provide the least amount of trauma.
14:50Mate!
14:51There he's bald.
14:52The least amount of trauma.
14:54Ha-ha-ha!
14:55I'd say it's quite a lot of trauma.
14:57No.
14:58Oh, my God!
14:59Oh!
15:02Isn't it funny?
15:03That's his job.
15:04To remove testicles off small beings.
15:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:09There we go, and just like that.
15:11And just like that!
15:12Look at these tiny little balls!
15:14What do they do with them now?
15:15Pilot is two passengers lighter.
15:17Ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:18Ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:19Oh, very good line.
15:20He's pleased with that.
15:21Yeah.
15:22Very good!
15:23Look at them laughing at them!
15:24You bunch of sadists!
15:26Oh, I don't want to think about my...
15:28I don't even have balls, but...
15:30Imagine you having your balls chopped off.
15:33Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:35That would be awkward.
15:36Especially if I went to the Yorkshire Bear, yeah?
15:38Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:39I bet you've got so many pits.
15:41Yeah, you're getting a bit outnumbered now, aren't you?
15:43Four dogs and a horse.
15:45You've got a horse!
15:47Did you want that many?
15:48No.
15:49No.
15:50Did you want the horse?
15:51No.
15:52Mm.
15:53Did you want the kids?
15:54Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:03In Essex...
16:04Can I tell you what shocks me to this day?
16:06I can't get over it.
16:07Do you know how much a pack of dishwasher tablets are?
16:09I don't know why they're pricing them there.
16:11You need a small mortgage...
16:13Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:15For dishwasher tablets.
16:16Best mates Jordan and Perry.
16:17Oh, sorry, if I take them home and I've got to rip the packet open.
16:20Yeah.
16:21Fuming.
16:22Fuming.
16:23Like, it's not like a little pot that pops.
16:24Yeah.
16:25But even when you rip the packet open, I find it all the time.
16:27It's like putting my hand...
16:28You put your hand in it, a lot of them are burst.
16:30Like, all the time.
16:31Maybe I'm just too rough on my shopping.
16:32No, you're heavy-handed.
16:33I am quite heavy-handed.
16:34I love, I'm nine and never burst.
16:35I like doing that and then go, whoop.
16:38Okay, I think you need to, you need to grow up a bit, man.
16:41Really?
16:42Yeah, that's how you turn the dishwasher on.
16:43I think you need to live a little.
16:44Next time, next time you put your hand in that packet,
16:48I'm telling you, do that.
16:50Whoop.
16:51Yeah.
16:52Is that it?
16:53Yeah, but it's better without the eye contact.
16:58On Friday, ITV livened up our morning with more of this.
17:03Wakey, wakey, mate.
17:05Fucking this morning's up.
17:07Come in, B.
17:08Let's see how they manage to fill a few hours of television.
17:19Jeez, come on, bro.
17:20This is something called morning TV.
17:23Yeah.
17:23You know, while you're asleep, other people are making television.
17:26Yeah.
17:27You've never watched this, have you?
17:28Because you've literally never been awake.
17:30Yeah.
17:31Not just any old Fish Friday today.
17:33No.
17:33It's officially.
17:34Officially.
17:35Get it?
17:36National Fish and Chip Day.
17:38National Fish and Chip Day?
17:39National Fish and Chip Day, OK.
17:40Wow.
17:41Do you like fish and chips?
17:42I do.
17:43I love fish and chips.
17:43I like fish, chips, loads of something in curry sauce to dip in.
17:48Oh, you're so northern.
17:50To celebrate, we've got the potato queen herself, Poppy O'Toole.
17:53Oh, I like Poppy the potato.
17:55She cooks potatoes in lots of different ways.
17:57Yeah, Poppy's amazing.
17:58She's incredible.
17:59I've seen this girl do things with potatoes that are inhuman.
18:01What's your favourite?
18:02Were you to have a potato?
18:03Go.
18:04You fancy fucker.
18:06So, we've got the mega fish and chip butty, but all of the components are quite flashy.
18:11Oh, look at that.
18:13Oh, yeah.
18:14I will murder that.
18:15Oh, man.
18:16That's not a fish butty, mate.
18:17That's a banquet.
18:18And I'm all for it.
18:1910.30 or not, mate.
18:20I'm in there.
18:21So, we're starting off with a vodka and tonic battered fish.
18:25What?
18:26Yes.
18:27Vodka.
18:28Vodka in the batter.
18:29Oh, she's my sort of, I like her.
18:30Yeah.
18:31A tonic batter.
18:32Yeah.
18:33Just when it couldn't get any better.
18:34You would love that.
18:35Vodka, fish and chips.
18:36My worlds are colliding.
18:37And then we've got orange chips from the Midlands.
18:39Wait.
18:40Orange chips.
18:41Orange chips?
18:42Orange chips?
18:43They're from Byos.
18:44They're from Birmingham.
18:45That's a Black Country thing.
18:46That's why Poppy's from Birmingham.
18:47Yes, girl.
18:48What's your favourite fish to have as fish and chips?
18:51Cod, girl, haddock?
18:52Cod.
18:53It's got to be cod.
18:54This is journalism.
18:55This is good.
18:56I'm haddock.
18:57I am haddock.
18:58I love haddock.
18:59They all taste the same.
19:00They're in batter.
19:01I'd have a remote control for owning a deep fat fryer.
19:03What's your favourite fish for a fish?
19:04Haddock.
19:05Is it?
19:06Yeah, what's yours?
19:07Haddock as well, actually.
19:08Oh, that's...
19:09Good chap.
19:10When you go to a fish and chips shop, what's your normal order?
19:12What about a pickled egg?
19:14I don't mind a pickled egg.
19:15I love a pickled egg.
19:16What are you?
19:17Oh, chips and a battered sausage.
19:19Oh!
19:20You love your sausage.
19:21I do.
19:22And a bit of curry sauce to dip it in.
19:24You?
19:25I've got another question.
19:26Really?
19:27If you...
19:28What do you drink with fish and chips?
19:31Dandelion and burdock.
19:33Yes!
19:34Water.
19:35You drink water?
19:36Because there's enough going on.
19:37Also, you know, I like to make the fish feel at home.
19:40Yeah, I go lemonade or a cup of tea.
19:43Oh!
19:44Cup of tea!
19:45Nah, nah.
19:46Get Phil back.
19:47Get Phil back.
19:48Because he wouldn't drink tea.
19:49No.
19:50He wouldn't.
19:51Get Phil back on.
19:52Really?
19:53Love a cup of tea with fish and chips.
19:54You know what's nice with the fish and chips?
19:55A Malbec.
19:56A Malbec with fish and chips?
19:58Is that wine?
19:59Well, I think it is, you know.
20:00You don't fucking drink wine?
20:02Malbec wine with fish and chips?
20:05Unless you're an alcoholic.
20:06Well, unless you're a twat.
20:08Very nice.
20:09What do you drink at home?
20:11Just send that in to us so that we know.
20:13Let them know, Kelly.
20:14Let them know.
20:15Who's messaging this morning to tell them what drink they have with a chippy tea?
20:18Fucking hell.
20:19More people than you think.
20:21Oh, hang on one second.
20:22I'm just going to message this morning.
20:23I must let Alison and Dermot know.
20:25I have a glass of water send.
20:27Some of your lovely goujons with your vodka tonic.
20:29How are we going to get our mouth round?
20:31Well.
20:33I'm glad someone said it, Alison.
20:34That's too big for my mouth.
20:35Yeah, you can't open your mouth very wide, so that's not draining.
20:38Can't do it.
20:39Guys, I can not eat that sandwich.
20:40Look at the size of that.
20:42That is a big sandwich.
20:43Go on.
20:44Go on.
20:45I would be like, you've got to go to break, because things are about to get real freaky this sandwich.
20:49Honestly, you would not want to cut back to me.
20:52You come back from break and I'll be on the sofa going...
20:54In London...
20:57Shall we compare helmets?
20:59Because you've got a Vespa here, I've got a bike.
21:01Wow, yours is very pink and shiny.
21:03Mates Munya and Jamie.
21:05I'm aerodynamic, yeah?
21:07Look at the...
21:08You look like a professional.
21:09Look at the point on that, yeah?
21:11I'm a professional cyclist when I do this.
21:13It's unbelievable.
21:15Stay like that.
21:16Do you know how you can tell if it's good?
21:17Stay like that.
21:18Don't move, don't move.
21:19This is how you can tell, Freddie.
21:20Let's just...
21:21Ready?
21:22Look at the arch.
21:23The arch is crazy.
21:24Get it, hold on.
21:25And I can keep...
21:26No, no, no, not the water, bro, because now I can't move.
21:27Okay, yeah, yeah, but now do the legs, do the legs.
21:29No, because it's going to spill on me.
21:30It's not.
21:31You've just trapped me.
21:32You've trapped me in some sort of weird twisted sore challenge.
21:35Right, if I cycle real slowly...
21:37Okay, go on, pedal.
21:38Look at that.
21:39I'm pedalling.
21:40I'm just going up a hill.
21:41Ped...
21:42I am pedalling, bro.
21:43Pedal!
21:44On Saturday night, there was even more commotion at Olby General on BBC One.
21:52Bit of casualty for you, Claire.
21:53Casualty?
21:54God, I've not watched this in years.
21:56Is this still on?
21:57Yes.
21:58If you're anybody in the world of British acting, you've had a role in casualty.
22:02For sure.
22:03Who's had one?
22:04Keira Knightley's had one.
22:05Kate Winslet.
22:06Er...
22:07It's mad that people love this.
22:13And it's been on every Saturday night.
22:15Everyone's like, oh, let's settle down and watch trauma after trauma after trauma for an hour.
22:22Yeah, I found her on the floor.
22:24She said her chest hurt.
22:26Chest hurts.
22:27She needs to be careful.
22:28Oh, no.
22:29She's having a heart attack, you see?
22:30Oh, shit.
22:31Is that a heart attack?
22:32Hi there.
22:33I'm Jan.
22:34I'm a paramedic.
22:35Yeah, no shit.
22:36When you hear someone's called Jan, you trust that lady with your life.
22:40Yeah, yeah, Jan.
22:41Jan.
22:42Sue.
22:43Trish.
22:44You can trust.
22:45I wrote for Ranlio.
22:47Training for the whole behalf.
22:50Half marathon?
22:51Bibes.
22:52Put your feet up.
22:53Don't worry about it.
22:54Is it okay if my colleague takes your pulse?
22:56What's Frodo doing there?
22:58My son, he's a personal trainer.
23:04Says I'm unfit.
23:05Well, it turns out he had a point, love.
23:09Am I having a heart attack?
23:11Let's get you in the back of the ambulance and check you over.
23:13That's not what you want to hear.
23:14Am I having a heart attack?
23:16Let's get you in the ambulance.
23:17So, yes.
23:18Yeah.
23:19Indy, she's getting worse.
23:21She's dying.
23:22Two minutes.
23:23Come on, Indy.
23:24Put your foot down.
23:25Blue lights.
23:26There you go.
23:27Oh, yeah.
23:28What's wrong?
23:29Oh, no.
23:30So much wrong with the car.
23:31Oh, my God.
23:32Oh, no.
23:33What's that?
23:34Oh, no.
23:35What's wrong?
23:36Oh, no.
23:37So much wrong with the car.
23:38Oh, my God.
23:39Oh, no.
23:40What's that?
23:41Oh, no.
23:42Oh, no.
23:43It's stopping the brakes.
23:44Oh, fuck off.
23:45I can't stop.
23:46It's speed.
23:47Oh, my God.
23:48That's not going to help the heart attack.
23:52Oh, shit.
23:53Oh, my God.
23:54Oh, my God.
23:55That's not going to help the heart attack.
23:57Oh, shit.
23:58Oh, my God.
23:59Oh, shit.
24:00Oh, my God.
24:01Oh, shit.
24:02Oh, my God.
24:04Oh, shit.
24:05Oh, shit.
24:06Oh.
24:07Oh.
24:08Flipping hell.
24:09We're here.
24:10We've arrived.
24:13We didn't want to make a scene.
24:20Oh.
24:21Oh, God.
24:22Who's that?
24:23Oh, she squashed him.
24:24Get it off me.
24:25Get it off me.
24:26Get it off me.
24:27She has not trapped that fella with the van.
24:29I'm saying get it off me like it's a daddy longlegs or something, not a whole Flipping Ambulance.
24:34This whole thing's basically holding them together if we move it too fast.
24:38Oh, God.
24:39What did you say?
24:40He went, this whole thing's holding them together if we move it.
24:42Oh, my God.
24:47Oh, it's a power cut. It's all fucking going off.
24:49I've got a feeling there's even more disaster pending.
24:52I'm just going to say that because this isn't quite enough yet.
24:55Okay, clearly he's going into shock.
24:57Come on, we've got to move this ambulance now.
24:58Finally.
24:59Now.
25:00They're going to try and move it. They're going to move the ambulance.
25:02I just feel like if they reverse, he might fall apart.
25:05Oh, for sure.
25:08Oh, no.
25:09Here we go.
25:12Oh, my God.
25:13Oh, fucking hell, we've made it worse.
25:18Oh, he's got something lodged into him.
25:21No, something like that metal bar sticking out his tummy.
25:24Come on, let's move.
25:27Oh, the roof's caving in.
25:28Yeah, but that's fine.
25:30Why is that fine?
25:32How's it looking?
25:37How's it looking?
25:38It's not looking good, doctor.
25:40Honestly, it's not looking good.
25:41It's like...
25:42Stomach's distended.
25:47Hemorrhaging.
25:47Want me with you?
25:48Who's this knobhead in the suit like?
25:50I think he must be like the surgeon, I'm going to guess.
25:52I'm going to go and see.
25:52He looks like a surgeon.
25:53The metal is seriously compromising his blood flow.
25:56If you don't act now, he's not going to make it.
25:57Come on, you can save him.
25:58Come on.
25:59Scalp, please.
26:00Oh, God, here we go.
26:01You might need to turn away.
26:04There you go.
26:05Do you see it all on casual, eh?
26:07I don't know.
26:08A few strokes and we're in.
26:10Yeah.
26:10Oh, you don't.
26:12Not a great time to have pizza, is it?
26:13No.
26:14Oh, Jesus, I can't watch this.
26:19Right, it's plastic.
26:20It's plastic, it's pretend.
26:22No.
26:22Oh, the noise.
26:23It's the noise.
26:24It squelches.
26:25I know it.
26:26You don't have to tell me what the noise.
26:28I can hear it.
26:31Oh, fucking hell.
26:33Pepperoni just flew out of him.
26:35Yuck.
26:35Sausages, sausages.
26:36Sausages.
26:37More sausages.
26:38More sausages.
26:38There it is.
26:42Look at that.
26:43He took it out.
26:47Success.
26:48Has he done it?
26:49I think he's done it.
26:50Well done.
26:51Well done.
26:51Brilliant.
26:52This all started because someone tried to do a run in a park.
26:54I'll tell you now, running's bad.
26:56Yeah.
26:56Running is...
26:57That is what we've learned.
26:58Don't run.
26:59What we've taken from casual is everyone out there trying to do half marathons.
27:03Stop.
27:03In West London.
27:12Er, I've got some new bins.
27:14Yeah, go on.
27:14They're quite, erm, flamboyant.
27:17What do you mean they're flamboyant?
27:18I don't think they're flamboyant.
27:19It's all about it.
27:20Quite dramatic.
27:21A little bit of sexy tortoiseshell, no?
27:22Before you start giving me grief, I've seen you've got some glasses down there.
27:26Bang them on.
27:27Good friends Ben and Kat.
27:29Bam!
27:30Hold on.
27:34What?
27:35Come on.
27:36All right, Deirdre Barlow.
27:37They're not.
27:38These aren't.
27:39No.
27:39These are 70s.
27:41Are you kidding?
27:42These are 70s, not 80s Deirdre.
27:44Do you know who Deirdre Barlow is?
27:45Of course I do.
27:45You've got Deirdre Barlow's glasses on.
27:47No, I haven't.
27:48These might be a bit Bette Lynch, but they're Deirdre Barlow.
27:50I'd rather be better than Deirdre.
27:51We're going to get on just fine.
27:54We'll have a pint in the Ravers and watch on telly.
27:56This week we're off on another jolt to the Coxwalls on Prime Video.
28:01So we're watching Clarkson's Farm.
28:03Oh, I love a farm.
28:05My dream is to have a farm one day.
28:06Bro, I swear to you, Ben.
28:08But you want llamas.
28:09I want llamas?
28:12I just really want llamas.
28:14I ain't got time for the other stuff.
28:20Oh, I went to one quite recently, a farm.
28:22Well, I say farm, it's like a petting zoo.
28:24Okay, Clarkson's Farm.
28:27Clarkson's Farm.
28:27I'm not going to do it.
28:28Clarkson's Farm.
28:29Clarkson's Farm.
28:30Never do that again.
28:31I won't do it again.
28:32I've never actually been on an actual farm.
28:33No.
28:35But I did Duke of Edinburgh, bronze award, and I had to walk through a field of bulls and cows.
28:40We're saying, not to flex, but yeah, I've done it.
28:44In the programme, Jeremy was on the hunt for some new livestock.
28:48So I decided to go to my first ever cattle auction and buy some cows.
28:54He's going to take the bull by the arms and buy some cows.
28:57I couldn't go and pick a cow and then be like, right, mince it.
29:01Yeah.
29:01If I bought a cow, it'd be like living with me.
29:03Yeah, in the bed.
29:04It'd be here.
29:06Hello, Charlie.
29:07Hi.
29:08I'm just wondering, how many cows do you think I should buy?
29:12We need between six and seven.
29:14Between six and seven?
29:16Like six and a half.
29:17So I'll get eight cows, and these are store cows.
29:21Because he's bought the pub and he wants to open it in about a month, he's got to get cows that are really close and ready to slaughter.
29:29You want to buy something that actually we can finish fairly quickly?
29:32Finish them really quickly?
29:34Kill them?
29:35I don't know what you mean.
29:36What does that mean?
29:36Oh, no.
29:40I still wasn't totally sure what Charlie was on about, but there was no need to panic.
29:46Because Harriet had kindly agreed to come along and hold my hand.
29:51I actually don't believe that Jeremy's not got a clue.
29:55Yeah.
29:56Really.
29:56Because he's a fucking know-it-all, isn't he?
29:58And we started by going through the breeds on sale.
30:02There's like a catalogue of cows, like it's the Bodhi Argos.
30:05How much is it?
30:07Charolais and Angus.
30:08Yeah.
30:09Is that any good?
30:10Yes.
30:10These were run on Moorland at altitude.
30:13Single suckled, that said.
30:14That means it only suckled on a single teat.
30:18I would want a cow that's been through all the teats available.
30:21Got the best fighting chance.
30:23Could you buy an Angus cow?
30:24I thought that was a steak menu.
30:26That means it's starting.
30:33All right, ladies and gentlemen, make a start.
30:35Of course, you're an expert now.
30:37You see that TV up there?
30:39Yeah.
30:39That's going to tell you what lot of number you want.
30:41Oh, it's like Argos.
30:42Yeah.
30:43Really, isn't it?
30:43It's like Argos or cows, and they call your number.
30:46That was the last thing I understood.
30:49Because at that moment, the auctioneers started speaking.
30:52What?
30:57Not all of them are words.
30:59Not all of them are words.
31:04What number do you know that has rrrr in it?
31:0995, 95, 1,000, 1,000, 1,000, 1,000, 1,100.
31:13Bro, one does not have an R in it.
31:17It does.
31:18I like at the end as well when a little bit Alicia Dixon.
31:20I'm 15.
31:21You know what I mean?
31:22Yeah.
31:23Well, I don't have that 15.
31:25Yeah, you know.
31:27Right, these.
31:28These are good.
31:30Two for the price of one, yeah?
31:32And a ginger.
31:35I did bonus.
31:41That, look.
31:41She's big.
31:42With her head.
31:43Yeah, she just did that.
31:44Just like that.
31:51We got this.
31:51That's how I'd like to go shopping in a shop.
31:53Just look at, like, a pair of shoes and go.
31:5616.20.
31:57So you've got two at 16.20.
31:59Two at 16.20?
31:59Just 16.20 you were.
32:0116 pounds, 20 pence?
32:03I think it's, no, I think it's, no, 1,620 pounds.
32:06Wow.
32:08At this point, I decided it was time to pull rank.
32:11Here we go.
32:12Is Jeremy going to try it now?
32:1311, 10, 20.
32:1411, 20, 30.
32:15He's doing a finger.
32:15Yeah.
32:16I want it, I want it.
32:17I'm leaving you to it.
32:1811, 50.
32:18Put a bit of 50 pounds.
32:19All I know, 11, 30.
32:2011, 50.
32:20He's bidding against himself, then.
32:22Wait, what?
32:2311, 30.
32:24Stop putting your hands on.
32:25I don't get it.
32:28He bid twice.
32:29He bid against himself.
32:3011, 50.
32:31Nearly twice.
32:32Nearly twice.
32:33Nearly bid twice.
32:34He nearly bid against himself.
32:37It's done.
32:38I headed back to the farm with my new cows.
32:41Come on, new cows.
32:43And waited for Charlie to shower me with praise for a job well done.
32:48Charlie is Clarkson's adult.
32:51Those two limousons are cracking.
32:53They're really good.
32:53They'll finish quite good.
32:54They're the ones Harriet bought.
32:55What about the other six?
32:57I don't think this one's pretty cool.
32:59Nate hasn't got a round rump on the back.
33:01It's bare.
33:02He's picked one once.
33:03He's spent all that money for the wrong ones.
33:05He should have just listened to Harriet.
33:07Oh, God, have I done it wrong?
33:09Yeah.
33:09Yeah.
33:10We're not done it right.
33:11He's not great at it, is he?
33:13They just need to be more bootylicious.
33:15Exactly that.
33:16We're sat here watching this.
33:18Do you know what's going on?
33:19No.
33:20I ain't got a clue.
33:23In South London.
33:25Yo.
33:25Oh, look at this.
33:27You got the teapot.
33:28I got a teapot, Bev.
33:30What cup do you want?
33:31I don't care.
33:31I made this one, you know.
33:32You can have that.
33:34I'll go pottery.
33:35Yeah.
33:35Real talk.
33:36I'll go to pottery classes.
33:38I made this.
33:38Good friends, Mo and Babatunde.
33:41You laugh now, 100 years time.
33:43This will be on Antiques Roadshow.
33:46You reckon you'll have your own collection?
33:51No one is going to buy that.
33:53Yeah, this.
33:54No one will buy that.
33:55It's not just any pottery.
33:56Do you know what it is?
33:57No.
33:57Blood clock, pottery.
34:01On Friday, stateside squabbling was headlining the news on ITV.
34:06Right, let's watch the news.
34:07I love the news.
34:08Just before the news stats, just let me adjust.
34:11Right, you...
34:12Yeah, just get me a...
34:13Get your cell and alls, right.
34:15Yeah, because if it's not in the right position, I'm not comfy.
34:18You're like the regurgitator of news.
34:21I'm a news tube.
34:22You're like, like, I'm like one of those little birds that are in the nest.
34:26Yeah, and I'm a bird feeder of news.
34:27And then I'm like this.
34:28This is the ITV Lunchtime News with Charlene White.
34:32Oh, I like her, Danny.
34:34It's not when you got the news at one, but a bewitch concert at two.
34:37Donald Trump and Elon Musk have scheduled a private call.
34:40Oh, here we are.
34:41The Chuckle Brothers are back.
34:42Ha, ha.
34:43After a social media spat between the US president and the world's richest man blew up yesterday.
34:49Bit late for the private call now.
34:51I mean, look, this was inevitable, right, that these two was going to fall out.
34:56Have you been in a relationship that's ended this dramatically?
34:59Several times.
35:01The world's most powerful man and the world's richest man have fallen out, and it hasn't been pretty.
35:07Who'd have thought it?
35:08Two lunatics falling out.
35:10What do you reckon he's saying?
35:12You are a bad boy.
35:15That's not unlike Dealey.
35:17That finger comes out of me a fair few times.
35:18Look at that, look how that moves.
35:20Trump, take note.
35:22The cause of the argument is what the president likes to call his big, beautiful bill.
35:26Trump's big, beautiful bill, right, is really, in it, it basically goes, fuck off electric cars.
35:34We want petrol cars.
35:36Right.
35:36And Musk basically makes his main till off electric cars.
35:43Right.
35:43So he sees Trump now with his bill as fucking him off.
35:49Right.
35:49You know, I was, like, disappointed to see the massive spending bill.
35:54Why doesn't he just go and occupy Mars?
35:56Go and occupy Mars, please.
35:58Occupy Mars.
35:59Only a man with a spaceship can wear that t-shirt, though.
36:02A hundred percent.
36:03A hundred percent.
36:05I slightly rate it a little bit.
36:07Last night, the men started shouting at each other through their social media megaphones.
36:12I love a messy argument on social media.
36:15That's why I'm not deleting Facebook.
36:16The easiest way to save money in our budget, billions and billions of dollars, said the
36:21president, is to terminate Elon's governmental subsidies.
36:25I don't think I ever really did the arguing across social media.
36:28No.
36:28Katie Hopkins called me a slag once on social media.
36:32How was that for you?
36:34I don't really remember.
36:35I mean, you didn't really need to say anything to win that one, did you?
36:38I just remember.
36:38Didn't she get done for shagging someone in a...
36:40That's what I remember thinking.
36:41I'm sure you got caught shagging someone's husband in a field.
36:44Yeah, wasn't she bent over a farmer's gate?
36:46I wouldn't worry too much about her calling you a slag.
36:48Musk hit back with an unsubstantiated claim.
36:51What's he said back?
36:52This is the big one.
36:53That Mr Trump appears in government files relating to the billionaire sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
37:00Wow.
37:00Ooh.
37:03Yo.
37:03Uh-uh.
37:04Yo, he went there.
37:05How does he know if he's on Epstein's list?
37:08Lord knows, man.
37:09I mean, the thing is, they're both totally flawless kings, so...
37:12I'm as shocked as you are.
37:14I don't want to hear that Trump's on that list.
37:15And we've got...
37:17Is that him leaving the White House?
37:19Is that...
37:20Good luck getting your shit back, Elon.
37:23The billionaire then appeared to row back on a threat to decommission one of the SpaceX spacecraft
37:29that America's space programme relies upon.
37:32Well, does he own all those masks?
37:34Yeah.
37:34Well, I don't want to go to space.
37:36How can a man say, I'm taking my spacecraft back?
37:40You can't do that.
37:41Don't be the kid who's like, I'm going home.
37:44I'm taking my ball.
37:45Don't do that.
37:47So men are meant to be better leaders because they're less emotional.
37:50Are they?
37:51In theory.
37:52Who said that?
37:52Who knows?
37:53A man.
37:54Men are meant to be better leaders?
37:56Hmm.
37:56Well, they're doing a fine job.
37:59Aren't they?
38:07In Cheshire.
38:08I've got a random question.
38:09What tea bags do you have?
38:11I've never had a tea or a coffee.
38:13You what?
38:14You've never had a tea or a coffee?
38:16Nope.
38:17Friends Luke and Ginge.
38:20You're 18 years old.
38:21You've never had a cup of tea?
38:22Nope.
38:22Or a coffee.
38:23You're taking the piss.
38:24I'm not.
38:25That's a joke.
38:26Seriously?
38:26Never had one.
38:28What do you drink?
38:29Just anything but tea?
38:31Yeah, or coffee.
38:32Wow, that's crazy.
38:35In North London.
38:37Have you had a good week?
38:38I have, actually.
38:39It's been quite a busy week.
38:40Haven't you been to Wales?
38:41I've been to Wales.
38:42Was that random?
38:43Was it impromptu?
38:44Very random.
38:45You know me.
38:45I'm a random person.
38:47I'm all about spontaneity.
38:48Spontaneity?
38:50Spontaneity, yeah.
38:51Ellie and her good friend, Richie.
38:54Would you just wake up in the morning and think,
38:55I want to go to Wales?
38:56Well, I needed to go see friends.
38:57Oh, OK.
38:59So I was like, oh, for two days off work,
39:02do I have a look at...
39:02Not in Wales?
39:03Can you speak Welsh?
39:04No, can you speak Welsh?
39:06Well, I was supposed to.
39:07You went to school in Wales?
39:08Yeah, I went to school in Wales.
39:10I spoke, went to GCSE in Welsh.
39:13And got, guess what I got?
39:15A.
39:16Me and A!
39:17B?
39:17No, not a B.
39:18Not a C.
39:19T?
39:20A U.
39:21For unique.
39:24I failed my Welsh GCSE.
39:27This week, Hugh Grant was giving us the willies on Prime Video.
39:31I very rarely stay awake until the end of a movie, just so you know.
39:34So if I start snoring or dribbling, give me a nudge.
39:36I remember when you were mean used to watch Dracula,
39:39and you used to have to walk home down the dark road
39:42after we watched Dracula, and you was on your toes.
39:45Yeah, no, I get involved.
39:47In the film, we see two young missionaries
39:50on their way to spread the good word.
39:55This is it.
39:59Crippy house, don't go in.
40:00Crippy house, don't go in.
40:02Crippy house.
40:02I mean, that has foreboding written all over it, doesn't it?
40:05I used to sell double glazing door to door.
40:09I'm not knocking on that door.
40:12Is there someone there?
40:15Ah.
40:17Good afternoon.
40:18Oh, it's here, Grant.
40:19Hello.
40:19CZ.
40:19I absolutely love you.
40:23You know what?
40:24What?
40:24I love you, too.
40:26Oh, you love me, too.
40:28Fish bug me.
40:30Wee-hee.
40:31Good afternoon.
40:32I'm Sister Paxton, and this is my companion, Sister Barnes.
40:35Oh, they're a couple of nurses?
40:36No.
40:37They're Mormons.
40:39Because of a possibility, people live not under the gospel.
40:41No.
40:41Oh, no.
40:42You have a girl roommate?
40:44So they're not allowed to go in, because obviously he's just a man and their beliefs and stuff.
40:48Yeah, yeah, that's right.
40:48It's just for safety.
40:49We don't mind the rain.
40:50But my wife is home.
40:51Does that come?
40:52Yeah.
40:53I think he's lying.
40:54Oh, I don't like this.
40:55No, I think he's lying.
40:56You can tell.
40:57You can tell.
40:58Cardi goes on.
40:59Wife is out.
41:01Cereal care.
41:01Don't trust him, girl.
41:02Do you like pie?
41:03Yeah.
41:04My wife has pie in the oven.
41:05Oh, yes.
41:06Bit of pie.
41:07I'm straight through that door, you should have said.
41:10Straight away.
41:12My wife is being shy.
41:16But the pie, the pie is nigh.
41:19Sketchy.
41:20Oh, there's no wife, is there?
41:22I think it is good.
41:25Why has he got a candle?
41:26Yeah.
41:27To be religious.
41:28Well, our work here is done.
41:30No, I just want you to know that before we start.
41:32Yeah.
41:32Something's happening.
41:33Something.
41:34Where's your wife, Hugh?
41:35Can we meet your wife?
41:38Please.
41:39Of course.
41:40Yes.
41:40See, she's on it already.
41:43She's got it.
41:44Can we meet your wife?
41:45She's like, mm-hmm.
41:46Sorry.
41:47I'll go ask.
41:50See, the moment he leaves the room now to go look for the wife, I'm at the door, man.
41:55He picks up on a sense of something that is a little bit woo and is a little bit wee.
42:00I'm going to be honest.
42:04I don't know what that means, but the candle's gone out.
42:06What?
42:06With the candle?
42:06Why are you looking at the candle?
42:10What is it?
42:10What is it?
42:11What is it?
42:14Blueberry pie.
42:15Oh, he ain't chopping them up.
42:17His wife ain't in the pie.
42:19No.
42:19He said that the wife was cooking a pie.
42:23Oh.
42:23But the scent of the candle's blueberry pie, so they thought they could smell the pie being
42:27made by the wife.
42:28And it's the candle.
42:30Oh.
42:31Oh.
42:31So who's in the fucking pie, though?
42:33No.
42:34There ain't a pie.
42:35Oh, there ain't a pie.
42:39Oh!
42:39Oh, no!
42:40It's locked.
42:41In this situation, you just accept it, don't you?
42:43What?
42:44That you're doomed.
42:45No.
42:46Well, how else are they going to escape?
42:49So we just need your help with the door.
42:52It's a little tricky.
42:53We've tried to escape.
42:54Open the door for us, you weirdo.
42:57The deadbolts are on a timer.
42:59Ah.
42:59Oh, my God, and there's still no pie there.
43:04If you are now, regrettably, ready to leave, you'll have to exit through the back of my
43:09house.
43:10Oh.
43:10Oh, we're not doing that.
43:12Oh.
43:14We're not doing that here.
43:15I'll go through the front door.
43:17Or the window.
43:17Or the fucking window.
43:18Yeah.
43:19I'm not going through your back door.
43:25Belief?
43:26If God is real, and he watches when we masturbate, and he has such a fragile ego that he only
43:32helps us when we beg him and shower him with praise, and he hates gay people for being
43:36what he made them to be, well, that's terrifying.
43:38Eh?
43:39Oh, my God, can I just go home?
43:40Can I go home?
43:41Yeah.
43:41I want this spell here that way.
43:48There's a belief door and a disbelief door.
43:50Which would you pick?
43:52That's the point.
43:53You're not, you know, there's no right answer.
43:55If there's no God, and we're just horny microscopic ants floating on a rock through space with no
43:59divine purpose and no hope to achieve eternal life, well, that's terrifying too.
44:04Oh, it's fucking nuts.
44:06I like that.
44:07Horny microscopic ants.
44:10Which one would you choose?
44:11I feel like I don't, I feel like I don't know what he wants them to say at this point.
44:15Sister Paxton, do you still believe in God?
44:18Yes.
44:20Then let's leave through here.
44:23I would stay together, whatever you do.
44:25Yeah, whatever it is, stay together.
44:26You can always overpower him if you stay together.
44:28I reckon I just might move into that room.
44:30Do I, do I actually like it here?
44:31I think it's really cozy.
44:33Beautiful, you've got a blanket, have you?
44:41Oh, it doesn't look like it's outside.
44:43Brother.
44:45Thank you for all your mentorship and thank you for letting us leave.
44:50Don't thank him, you don't know you're leaving.
44:52Oh, if you think you're leaving, good Lord, you've never seen a horror film in your life.
44:57Oh, let's go to the cellar, let's go to the cellar.
45:04That's not the back door.
45:06They're going, they're going further into the house.
45:08They're going down, yeah.
45:14He's there.
45:15Oh my God, he is as well.
45:17Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
45:18That looks like Russell.
45:24Oh, not Russell, you.
45:26I'm getting you, Grant, mixed up with Russell Grant.
45:29Yeah, oh.
45:30Who was going to tell them they're stars.
45:32Yeah, we wrote a song about him.
45:35Are you coming too?
45:37No.
45:38Of course he's not.
45:38He knows what's down there.
45:39I bet there's a dragon down there.
45:45No.
45:46Oh, no.
45:48No, no.
45:50Yep.
45:51Shit.
45:53Woo!
45:53Whoa!
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