- 09/06/2025
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FunTranscript
00:00You can do what you want to do, in living color, in living cell, you can do what you want to do, in living color, in living color, you can walk all the moon float like a balloon, you see it's never too late and it's never too soon, take it from me it's aight to be, in living color,
00:29and how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete, and all mankind danced to the exact beat, and at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color, you can do what you want to do, in living color, in living color, you can do what you want to do, in living color, in living color, everybody here is equally kind, in living color,
00:57what's mine is yours or what's yours is mine, in living color, and how would you feel knowing everybody was different, from thin to thick and through thick and thin, an egotypical chip was put to an end, in living color, you can do what you want to do, in living color, in living color, you can walk all the moon float like a balloon, you see it's never too late and it's never too soon, take it from me it's aight to be, in living color,
01:25in living color, and how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete, and all mankind danced to the exact beat, and at night it was safe to walk down the street, in living color, you can do what you want to do, in living color, in living color, in living color.
01:43Ladies and gentlemen, Kimi Ebony Townsend.
01:58Who the hell are you man?
01:59Who's asking?
02:03Thanks for standing in for me daddy.
02:05You got it baby, don't shake it too hard.
02:08I'll see you later Kimi.
02:16How about a hand for my fly guy?
02:23Alright.
02:24Hello, thank you, welcome to the party, I'm Kimi Ebony Wayans, this is In Living Color, good to have you all here tonight.
02:30Yeah.
02:31We got a fun show lined up as usual, so sit back, relax, before I get started, say hello to my DJ SW1.
02:47Y'all need to stop that, cause I gotta take him home later and he's gonna be souped up and just not good.
02:52Say hello to the fly girl, start over here with Dee, Carrie Ann, Lisa, Michelle and Carrie.
02:58Yeah.
02:59We'll be back in a few.
03:00Yo big head, kick it.
03:01Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Jesse Jackson.
03:14Good evening and thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the press, my fellow Americans, brothers and sisters.
03:29Good evening, and thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the press, my fellow Americans, brothers
03:41and sisters. Welcome to the last press conference of my presidency. Now, a few people thought
03:49eight years ago that a poor boy from the Carolinas could go from the outhouse to the White House.
03:56From eating in cheap jaunts to talking to joint chiefs. From niggering on jalapenos to meeting
04:05with the Filipinos. Hip-hop, you don't stop rocking to the Bang Bang Book of the...
04:12Now, I know that you all have deadlines, so I won't keep you. I'll open the floor to questions.
04:23Mr. President, Mr. President, Mr. President, as the first black president, did you ever
04:28fear an attempt on your life?
04:30Well, my administration did fear assassination, either about strangulation, decapitation, or
04:38driving through the South without identification.
04:40So, I took several precautions to ensure my safety. One was to increase the size of the
04:54security, and I thank Eddie Murphy for loaning me Big Fruity and Rick. I also, as all of my
05:03predecessors have, kept Dan Quayle as a vice president. Next.
05:07Uh, Mr. President, what would you say were the most important accomplishments of your
05:12eight years in office?
05:13Well, my administration was responsible for much, much legislation, though it took a lot
05:20of perspiration. But the one act that I feel most proud of is the Jackson Limitation Act.
05:27As all of you know, that is the bill that bans all performances by LaToya or Tito Jackson.
05:33Mr. President, Mr. President, Mr. President, Brother President.
05:40Yes, call me, Jesse.
05:41Do you feel that you have kept all of your promises to the American people?
05:47Well, I most certainly have tried, and do feel that I have kept the most important promise
05:55to the American people, which is to keep hope alive.
05:58Uh, would you elaborate on that, please?
06:01Oh, yes, I can. May I have your attention, please?
06:05As you can see, Bob Hope has been frozen solid.
06:12And our scientists believe that he can be kept alive for at least another hundred years.
06:18That is all the time I have, so I ask that you will, please, one last time, join hands with
06:24them and say, keep hope alive!
06:27Keep hope alive!
06:28Keep hope alive!
06:30Keep hope alive!
06:32Keep hope alive!
06:33Keep hope alive!
06:36They sing with more scats than Ella, more riffs than Luther.
06:40These R&B sensations throw in more vocal gimmicks than any other singers in history.
06:44They're the king and queen of maxed-off music, Cephas and Reesey Mayweather.
06:49A round and round, the more bearable...
06:54She said, Mom, baby!
06:55That monkey...
06:56Look out, monkey!
06:57That monkey, he chased a weasel...
07:00I thought that a weasel...
07:01I thought that a weasel...
07:03That what they done did?
07:04That a weasel.
07:04He stopped his grinning and saying...
07:07What'd they say?
07:08Here we go!
07:09Yeah!
07:11Pop goes a weasel!
07:14Pop goes a weasel!
07:16Pop goes a weasel!
07:17Pop goes a weasel!
07:18I thought that a weasel!
07:20I thought that a weasel!
07:21They performed before the Crown Heads of Nebraska, and now they'll sing for you on this new K-PAL album, Wee Tight.
07:28The Mayweathers can take any song and give it that special touch.
07:33Look up in the scabra, baby!
07:35Ain't that a scabra?
07:37This for you.
07:39Oh, no.
07:40Twinker!
07:42Twinker!
07:42A little scabra!
07:46How I wonder...
07:50What you wonder...
07:52Where you been?
07:53I've been hanging around, waiting on my baby!
07:57You'll also get all of Cephas and Reese's greatest hit, the number one song in the Tri-State area for almost a week and a half, Wee Tight.
08:07Wee Tight!
08:07And get all of the Cephas and Reese's you can stand!
08:08You can stand!
08:10You can stand!
08:11Wee Tight!
08:12Wee Tight!
08:13Let's go back!
08:14Robot!
08:15Look right now, you'll also receive the special bonus.
08:18Your very own 10-carat gold-plated toothpick, just like the one Cephas and Reese's wear.
08:23Just send $11 in cash to Wee Tight, P.O. Box 2 1⁄2, Littlefoot, New Jersey, 10022, and get all of the Cephas and Reese's you can stand!
08:34Tom!
08:44Welcome back.
08:46I'm Allen Vick, sittin' in for Johnny Carson.
08:48Because everyone knows at this point, another Carson impression would be totally passe.
08:53Ed won't be here tonight either.
08:56He woke up with the head of a Clydesdale in his bed.
08:59bet i guess when you're in between marriages you'll bring home anything
09:06all right our next guest is joan embri from the san diego anthropological institute
09:12as you know joan is always bringing with her strange and exotic inhabitants of the planet
09:17and tonight she's bringing us an endangered species ladies and gentlemen please welcome joan embri
09:29yes he is this is calvin he's a homeboy sapien africanus or or b-boy as they're known in the
09:43neighborhood is he able to walk oh yes he walks but you see these are new sneakers and they don't
09:49like to crease them i see and what is he doing now this is what they call chilling alan
09:59well it is kind of cold in the studio today oh no no not that kind of chilling he's just
10:04relaxing and getting used to his environment i see yo just because you live in large with crazy
10:10banking stupid wheels and i'm butt naked don't give you the right to dish you know what i'm saying
10:17per quoi well uh theirs is a rapidly changing language alan there's new terminology almost daily
10:25but as of last friday what he said to you was just because you're rich and he's poor doesn't give
10:30you the right to disrespect him oh boy i wouldn't say that around him alan it tends to um it tends to
10:38to agitate him yo yo yo calvin man cool out the dude's just buggin is he dangerous well alan like
10:54any of god's creations without love a proper diet a decent education and equal opportunities he could
10:59be extremely dangerous all these lights and cameras don't help either he's got a gun no no alan it's
11:08just candy yo chill out it's it's a candy it's an apple jolly rancher yeah it seems to be the
11:16foundation of the homeboy's diet why they prefer apple as opposed to grape we're really not quite sure
11:24well what other kind of things can he do well he can do anything anybody else can do oh yeah
11:30well can he host a talk show i'm sure he could yes yo that ain't nothing man you'll check this out man
11:38this thing on yo what's up what's up you got the c the a the l the v the i the n i'm coming to you my
11:47friends we go
11:52when i take to the streets and i start to chill are people looking at me like looks could kill
11:58now i wasn't born with a silver spoon i'm from the hardcore street and that's the name of the tune
12:02i'm not some crazy freak from the city zoo i'm just a down to earth brother that's a lot like you peace
12:08that will never be the same
12:21you
12:30look at all the hair on the floor it looks like the bathtub after you shave your legs
12:34oh i thought you shaved your shoulders huh hector sweep the floor concha
12:43hey mira what's the matter with him cha-cha let me tell you baby it's a big situation what happened
12:49yesterday she called hector in the bathroom with another woman
12:52no i mean let me tell you last night i stood over daisy's house and concho to maritza and maritza
13:02to lucy and lucy to pablo and pablo to pepe and pepe to kuka and kuka to crazy legs and crazy legs
13:07to mad dog and mad dog to lefty and lefty to shorty and shorty to pepe and pepe to sore and so to me
13:12baby so you know it's a fact i know it i know it's a fact
13:16good job i told you to sweep the floor why don't you ask that bandera i caught you with to sweep the
13:24floor huh oh my little pastelio it was nothing that i i i mira condena you bit my lip
13:33finger
13:48hi i'm visiting from out of town and the concierge at the hotel directed me to the vadel
13:54set soon next door but they have apparently burnt down
13:56oh madonna just cancel hector you're free
14:11oh follow me senorita chachavete
14:21oh all right
14:25the lady would like a manager
14:28so are you married senorita well oh my goodness
14:34aren't you something as a matter of fact i am senior hector let me ask you a question
14:38what would you do if you found your worthless husband alone in the bathroom with a strange
14:46woman oh i'm afraid i would just kick his little behind out what if he was only there trying to fix
14:51the plumbing well there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that i guess but what if his plumbing is
14:58so bad that he can't even satisfy his own wife you know as a wife i would find that extremely
15:05frustrating oh well of course maybe he wasn't doing everything he could to feel more like a man of
15:10what i mean is i mean maybe it was because his cologne smelled a little more like a woman oh no baby
15:16i bought hector da cologne okay are you talking about my wife's tasting
15:21well no i'm you know i think i would just have to know a little bit more about the whole situation
15:26before rendering an opinion excuse me i'm late for the time
15:29what is that look at that another valued customer has left my establishment and it's
15:37all your fault i'll kiss my chuteca and die i'm going to kill you oh honey i sure hope she don't
15:50take off that shoe and throw it in his head again like she did last time it's okay because he's so
15:54hot up he's not even going to feel it you know i love you when your eyes are bulging you make me feel so
16:04caliente when that little vent pops out of your head chica take a break i guess maybe they're not
16:11going to get a divorce after all no honey if that's okay let me get on the phone because i gotta tell
16:14back so he can tell beppe and beppe can tell
16:37brother open your eyes tell me what you see
16:40can you see racism's hostility you don't know in your soul as well as your heart
16:45walk walk what's the time it's time to get smart
16:48what's the time it's time to get smart y'all
16:54you see
17:11pbs the pavement broadcast system proudly presents a new do-it-yourself at home home improvement show
17:24my name is anton and this is my house slash bathroom slash kitchen slash backyard slash library
17:38oh i forgot we're on tv let me fix my makeup
17:41now let's we're gonna need a little bit of work light so let's go to a convenient power source
17:58oh
18:03oh
18:09oh
18:11oh
18:13Remember, safety lasts when you ain't got no money.
18:20Now, today we're gonna add on a new room,
18:24but I have to make sure that I got the proper tools.
18:30This is the drill.
18:34My hammer.
18:38My measuring tape.
18:47Oh, that's the extension cord.
18:53Let's just use the rope for now.
18:59And last but not least, I need my screwdriver.
19:07I need another one of that.
19:24Now, let's get started, shall we?
19:30Now, in order to add on this new room, we're gonna have to make a new doorway.
19:37So what do we do?
19:39We mark it.
19:41With an X.
19:47And then we cut the hole.
19:55Smooth out the rough edges.
20:00Pick up our pants.
20:06And now, let's add on the new room.
20:15Now, in order to bond this, we're gonna have to use an all-natural adhesive.
20:21Y'all children don't try this at home.
20:37We just put that there.
20:42It'll be crazy like crazy glue.
20:48Now, our new guest wing is almost complete.
20:53But not yet.
20:55We need to install the plumbing.
21:00I'll go get the bathroom.
21:12So we'll just set that there right there, wait.
21:17Put a little toilet paper in there.
21:24So now, when company come over,
21:26they don't have to steal your bathroom.
21:30Well, that's the show for today.
21:33Join me next week when I'll be showing you
21:36how to make a jacuzzi out of a garbage can.
21:39This is Anton for this old box saying,
21:44I still have something of it.
22:00All right, thank you very much.
22:02See you next time.
22:05Say hello to our newest cast member.
22:07Say goodnight to everybody.
22:09Tell them to see you next week.
22:10See you next week.
22:11See you next week.
22:12See you next week.
22:13See you next week.
22:14See you next week.
22:15That's why she's not getting selected.
22:16That's how she's not getting selected.
22:25You can watch me.
22:27All right.
22:28View, view, view.
22:29View, view, view.
22:31View, view, view, view.
22:32View, view, view.
22:33View, view, view, view.
22:35View, view, view, view.
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