- 5/21/2025
Grosse Pointe Garden Society Season 1 Episode 13
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Short filmTranscript
00:00That bitch killed my dog. Give me the quote. No, it's Patty's
00:09Good news, baby. I found a way to get you that tuition. She was wearing a fancy blue dress
00:15She was with a friend in a red dress
00:18phony bitch
00:20Stole I can't have our baby behind bars. It's not going ice fishing. Where's he going shopping for his new life?
00:28Please tell me I didn't just hear they're gonna dig up the body. Yeah, we have to move it
00:58I
01:17Did the Pattersons put in solar panels
01:20Well, they're not even working because Joyce refuses to cut down that big sugar maple that's blocking the Sun. Well, she's worried about her carbon footprint
01:28She should probably start with their private jet. You want a banana muffin? They're fresh from the oven
01:34You know what I want
01:37Could take up some of that Irish butter you like I
01:40Want my quilt Marilyn Donna didn't deliver it. No, you told me to pick it up the morning after the gala
01:48Did I
01:50You don't know where it is, do you
01:53Not at this exact moment, but you know where my money is though, let's just cool our jet
01:57Oh, these jets are just warming up. I will get to the bottom of it
02:02You better before Keith gets back from the cabin. It's no way to talk to a friend
02:09Friends don't swindle each other
02:13What happened to us Oh, please Marilyn
02:18You know what happened
02:21If I don't get that quilt, you know what happens next
02:37Melissa
02:41It's um right here he's um, come in
02:50You didn't have to make the bed I don't want to interrupt you guys it's only gonna get a little messy again
03:00Anyone want coffee I'm caffeinated
03:13She's having a hard time at home. Yeah, it's none of my business. I'm sleeping on the couch
03:21I wanted to send some random guy to serve him
03:26You don't have to do this. I
03:28Thought it would be more humane if I brought it myself. I meant take the kids
03:33Do you have a lawyer?
03:34With what money just want to make sure that you have a fair shot at the custody hearing now
03:38You want to play fair? I'm not the one who put a knife to that guy's throat again
03:42scissors
03:45Just get a lawyer
03:50I
03:56Should go you don't have to yeah. Well can't hide here forever
04:03At some point I'm uh, I'm gonna have to face what we did
04:12Your garden is only as good as the seeds you plant
04:16But it's hard to tell when you get a bad seed
04:41And you never know how many there are in the past
04:46There's bagels in the kitchen
04:50I'm good. Thanks. Yeah, somebody picked weird flavors like blueberry and garlic
04:59Anything else I can do for you you remember that bracelet you got off that tweaker gas station guy
05:06So in the end every seed that's planted is a flip of a coin
05:10Because what looks perfect on the outside might be totally rotten on the inside
05:16Okay, which one of these says put me on the side of bus?
05:21They all look the same she looks honest
05:25She looks like a murderer. Well. She looks professional. Yeah like a hitman
05:30Come on, babe. They all look a mess
05:32Yeah like a hitman come on, babe, they all look amazing they all look like mug shots
05:40Mommy put that in the compost just goes to the same place, baby, but it won't break down in the trash
05:45Oh, I smell you science girl. Okay, go get your backpack
05:51What's the point uh, well 30 reduction in landfill waste no, I mean
05:57All of it
05:58How do I teach our kids to recycle and respect the planet?
06:02How do I pretend to be someone that you can trust to sell your home? How do I organize pta food drives and book fairs?
06:09You just do
06:13How do I pretend I didn't just murder someone okay look you put your shoes on
06:18You go outside and you just get through the day
06:21Okay, you know one's gonna be able to tell the difference between the realtor and the hitman
06:52Um
06:59What ew
07:00Absolutely not
07:02Think about it. The whole point of compost is to break down things. We want to get rid of we can't compost my husband's father
07:11I'm, not sure how to put this delicately then don't it only takes a month to mulch a human body
07:15Please tell me you did not look that up on your phone. Well addy referenced a chicken in her science project
07:20So i'm ballparking it
07:22There must be someplace
07:24more humane
07:26I'm open to any other alternatives. What about a freezer?
07:30who's
07:32Well, did you have that big one in your garage? Oh, sure
07:35We'll just tuck him in right next to addy's ice cream sandwiches and dakota's frozen waffles
07:41Once they finish the site survey, they're gonna break ground
07:46We have to move quiche now
07:49At least he'll be enriching our soil
07:52Maybe quiche is just what we need to win the cup
07:55I'm, just saying if you believe that god has a plan for everyone
08:05The math just ain't mathing a pill popper with a bunch of priors stealing a bracelet
08:10That's up to me. Then why'd this pete guy corroborate his story?
08:13Pete who's pete? Some drifter who washes windows for change at the station. That's your witness
08:21He told me what the lady was wearing
08:23He also mentioned the self-serve propane tanks are
08:26Blocking the government from reading his thoughts. He described her friend wearing the red dress, too
08:35Look I admire your ambition here
08:37Duncan, but we're talking about a couple of junkies
08:40But both those dudes were so specific about that red dress
08:46Okay said it sparkled like a christmas ornament sounds like they were high
08:53Sounds like the one that your friend was wearing, too
08:57Who you know the one that came to see you that same night
09:10So
09:14You want to make a name for yourself
09:18Just trying to do what's right. All right, but if you poke enough bears
09:24One's bound to wake up
09:31Yes, sir
09:33So
09:39Based on donna's rudimentary timeline the quilt went off the grid around 1100 hours. Who else knows?
09:46You and donna are the only ones with clearance
09:49clearance
09:56We're not on break donna
09:59Every second counts in the kidnapping case
10:02What is all this? So we are cross-referencing every guest at the gala who drives a black cadillac with everyone who bid on a quilt
10:10And you expect someone to just confess when donna joins the bureau she was trained in voice analysis
10:18I can hear when you're lying
10:21Oh
10:22What if it's just gone?
10:24What do you mean i'm just saying sometimes things that get stolen aren't always recovered say that again, but slower
10:33Okay, if we don't find the quilt alice no one will ever bet on anything at the gala again, well, let's get to work
10:42Oh, okay. Oh, sorry hold for maryland paper towels by the sink
10:50Gary's wife amanda ears on
10:54Amanda
10:56How's that cute baby girl ears
11:07Passion for something
11:10What
11:23You're a goddamn fraud and I will not rest until you tell us all where you've been keeping our mother love and quilt
11:33Well, amanda mills doesn't have it
11:39What's wrong sweetie
11:43You're out of paper towels
11:50Hi, thanks for coming
11:55This for me 15-year mcallen
12:03Why am I here no
12:06We've been going about our marriage all wrong agreed i'm glad you think that too
12:16So let's change that
12:21We've been so consumed with what you need
12:26There's nothing left for me
12:29What do you need?
12:31Well, first I want custody of the kids
12:33Yeah, that was our plan. And then I want to go back to work
12:37You're the one who wanted to take time off. You're a great lawyer
12:40and
12:41Maybe I should go to therapy
12:45Whatever it takes I just want you happy mel
12:49And I don't want to be unfair to you I appreciate that
12:55Which is why I want a divorce
13:01I
13:11You bought me a bottle of 15-year for first anniversary
13:22We were different then
13:31Huh
13:33I am covered in blisters. We deserve everyone
13:38Almost there guys where china
13:41Actually, we'd end up in australia
13:43That's what's straight down
13:45Once we do this, it's over as long as they don't find a body. He's just a missing person and we're not criminals, right?
13:51No, just horrible human beings
13:57Guys I hit something. Oh god
14:02Okay
14:18Where's the rest of him
14:21Oh
14:36Keisha's gone
14:44Gotta be the cops
14:47There'd be crime tape everywhere
14:49Yeah, and it'd be all over the news
14:52Who else would take a dead body you read about those people every day
14:57Where are you reading this my phone?
15:11Wow
15:13Yeah
15:15Y'all are quite the gardeners
15:17He wants how much yeah just for the body. Do you even have that kind of money?
15:23Oh
15:24He knows
15:26Everything well, listen, you can't give it to him
15:27I don't want to give it to him
15:28It's an admission of guilt and they just keep coming back for more and more and more until the only way out is to expose
15:34yourself
15:35Literally sounds like you're speaking from experience. Let's just say don't google me with the safe search off. Oh my god
15:41You know, you really shouldn't be here
15:44Where else am I gonna find a dirty cop, you know, I need to lay low for a while
15:48Aren't you supposed to serve and protect not like this?
15:53Oh, well, who else is gonna pull this prick over and plant a kilo of coke under his seat?
15:57It's not 1985. I could end up in jail. Yeah me too
16:05Me too
16:08What's going on
16:12I didn't
16:15I didn't want to worry you yet yet. Now i'm worried. It's nothing I can't handle
16:34What do I do
16:38I can't leave a cop like this
16:46I'm your friend
16:52Yeah, uh, this is not my friend guy's been here all night well, he cannot keep it
16:56Oh, you might as well enjoy it because we're about to kick him out
17:02Hey champ
17:04so what you're stalking me now to just looking to split a little calamari with
17:08you why don't you do that with your goon when you put on me that guy's a dirt
17:15bag yeah it's way worse than that how about some wings champ
17:20hmm quit calling me that come on you did it you knocked me on my ass lights out
17:29Gale just go home man wish I could I'll call you an uber she left me
17:44when you guys work it out I gave her cars houses vacations even a botched
17:54vasectomy but I never could give her the one thing she ever really wanted
17:58what's that Connor you she left me for you yeah for all the wrong reasons
18:11she's got a funny way of showing it all right
18:16beat it pal
18:26I only hurt the ones you love champ
18:46I want to take a breath
18:55I like to you
19:05I like to you to see them true
19:46you
20:16and over here next spring we're gonna plant the whole row of cherry blossoms
20:32I love those really no where's my money at oh here she is oh sorry my banker was
20:40asking a lot of questions okay let's do this whoa whoa where's our body yeah and
20:47all those pictures that you took of us
20:51coordinates SIM card ah you first no you first like we're gonna trust you you
21:01people are the murderers why don't we exchange at the same time yeah fine
21:08count of three
21:12one don't get frosty pal
21:39I was gonna do what she did only on the count of two that's not a plan yeah but
21:45it never ends with guys like this now it will whoa okay just let's hold on we
21:50will get you the money hey Siri call the gross point police department
21:57damn it Siri police department look I can Venmo you that's not gonna work
22:04whatever Siri
22:11sir are you okay is it your heart not again we should probably do something we
22:26really should but if we didn't
22:41and he just expires then this all goes away we can get quiche back nice
22:52honestly it's an act of God not to pile on but it's not exactly like the world
22:58needs him oh yeah he's a terrible person
23:03then what does that make us oh my god you're heroes true heroes all of you we
23:15just did what any decent human being would do are you kidding me they said it
23:19was like a Widowmaker oh that's the bad one yeah he wouldn't be here if you
23:26guys hadn't done CPR well just wasn't his time well it's still touch-and-go
23:33it is but are they leaning more 50 50 60 40 it's just too soon to tell sorry I'm
23:46a mess of course you are he's your dad if you can call him that what do you
23:54mean I don't know he just wasn't really around much when I was a kid doesn't
24:01mean he doesn't care about you I don't even have any pictures with him
24:09you'll just have to take some together when he wakes up you guys are angels
24:24you know he's always reminding people innocent until proven guilty someone
24:29who's guilty cross off Randy Bowman that's nearly everyone Marilyn well we
24:39have Donna still going door-to-door so maybe that will bear fruit or maybe it
24:43won't what have you been smoking Alice I know where the quilt is okay please
24:56tell me only if you tell me something first anything
25:21why do you have this
25:26tonight the chef has prepared some minced sole moon here with a demi-glace
25:37of truffles and mr. fingers time for dinner
25:50mr. fingers
25:56mr. fingers
26:26mr. fingers
26:56I didn't know who else to call these you don't have to do this no no no my
27:06mother always said have a cake on hand cuz you never know who's gonna drop by
27:09her what feelings need eating oh honey I know I know why would Alice's dog be in
27:18my backyard she's an animal the yards and gross point they get out but next
27:24to her at the rich then she would've been shot by a sprinkler stop stop don't
27:28do this to yourself I wish you'd never loan me that damn thing you you wanted
27:44it to fix your coyote problem you knew guns scared me don't you dare put this
27:51I don't even know how to shoot that's why I suggested the class I'm going to
27:58tell my daughter-in-law that you smoked her dog do you have any idea how much
28:04that could hurt buzz what about my family well there's there's an election
28:10coming up patty oh that is disgusting even for you this could be the chap a
28:15gross point please buzz is a Republican
28:21pee backs are a bitch patty excuse me well you're just a piece of trash that
28:30flew in from downriver big old mess of teased hair and drugstore eye shadow I
28:37mean there be no country club no quilting circle no table at the grill
28:47me none of it without me I was a long time ago thing is I can still take it
28:55all away
29:07what do you want
29:24please say something why didn't you tell me I wanted to you acted like my friend
29:34I am your friend Alice and then you call me when your cat is actually
29:39attacked by a coyote because I thought that you'd understand because you shot
29:44my dog when you put it like that this is beyond mental Marilyn
29:50you have no idea how different things would be if you had just come clean
30:04believe me if I could go back and just undo it all yeah me too
30:12hiding that awful it just rocks a person it just eats at you from inside
30:22you know
30:27it must be terrible changes you forever
30:35I can imagine
30:38I'm really sorry
30:42I forgive you
30:58you're a wonderful person
31:05I'm no better than you
31:12you
31:17sweetie
31:20you said you knew where the quilt is
31:26it's gone Marilyn
31:35there's a full workout facility with like weights and a pool and those
31:39climbing walls dope and you know it's free they're even hooking me up with a
31:45nutritionist I don't even know what that means
31:50you should take a selfie like now yeah we don't have any pictures I'm gonna do
31:56that social media crap I just want something to remember you by I'm gonna
32:02be here till summer yeah well I might not be
32:06where are you going just you never know
32:12does this have anything to do with that Cadillac you stole
32:21how'd you get so smart
32:26genetics dude not cool not cool I got it
32:35okay that's one that's the one what are you doing I'm waiting for you the judge
32:49isn't gonna like that shirt so you need to take this seriously
32:58this isn't just about the kids Melissa
33:05we're gonna be late they're just an excuse Brett you're punishing me come on
33:11no I wish we could give it another shot I just can't right now I am NOT in junior
33:22high and our kids aren't rocks you can throw at me on the playground
33:27huh
33:32where are you going not in there don't be stupid
33:44just make sure what you're doing in there is for the right reason
33:57hi
34:01you're probably at the courthouse but I realized I never answered your question
34:09from the other night I guess the truth is yeah when we're
34:18together sometimes it does feel like there could be something more I am
34:30I've just been getting a lot of stuff wrong lately and I wanted to get
34:39something right for a change so
34:45this is Alice by the way okay
34:54can I help you man
35:00I did something you guys should probably know about
35:09Oh
35:27thank you
35:33we're even
35:37you're a good friend Patty
35:42not anymore
35:47hold on to this
35:50why
35:55so you never forget what you did
36:06hey mom hey how was the trip oh it was just the vibe I needed well you have a
36:20lot going on yeah um I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at the gala who cares
36:31what other people think how very ungrossed point of view honey this girl
36:37is from gross eel yeah oh so I forgot to cover the patio furniture oh I'm sure
36:50dad did it before he left what do you mean you think your father would ever
36:54risk ruining our new patio furniture he wasn't at the cabin mom didn't you two
37:03go ice fishing I haven't seen dad since the gala
37:12where should I begin let's start with your name Alice Morris m-o-r-r-i-s okay
37:26so what'd you do miss Morris hey bud take this oh no I got it
37:33I pulled a double already so why don't you get out of here why I'm just trying
37:40give you a break well let me get her statement then I head out you were
37:50saying here's the thing about bad seats they don't all start out that way this
38:02is embarrassing it's a moment mother nature loves to throw curveballs
38:10Oh
38:20how will we ever be the same
38:26we won't
38:30we'll be better
38:33sometimes there are factors in the garden beyond our control
38:52a surprisingly warm spring can dry your seeds out
39:03and even besties can't grow in shoddy soil
39:16you
39:28doesn't feel right doing this without Alice has anyone heard from her she left
39:35me a strange voicemail strange how like not herself maybe all of this is just
39:43too much for her maybe we should have left him in that guy's storage locker
39:50at least now he's helping the planet yeah next spring I'll be part of a
39:55beautiful garden
40:04rest in peace quiche
40:13Oh
40:30god I can't wait to go back to being a basic bitch
40:43so it doesn't always matter where your seats come from or how much you spend on
40:49them or how perfect they appear
40:54the dead she's in the wrong environment all seats can go bad
41:14could you do this to us we trusted you
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