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00:00Name your consultant.
00:15What? What time's your appointment?
00:18No, I don't actually have one.
00:20If it's an emergency, you best go to A&E.
00:22I'm afraid we don't offer a drop-in service.
00:24No, I know. Sorry, it's just...
00:27I've only just worked it all out, you see.
00:29I've got this online. I've saved the link. Hold on.
00:35Just...
00:35Too much of this is matching up.
00:37I knew that there was something seriously wrong with him. I knew it.
00:40It's just the way he's reacting.
00:44Or actually, he's not really reacting, and it does say on here
00:46that if it isn't his eyes, then it's most probably something to do with his brain.
00:51So, what, I go to A&E, and I sit there for ten hours,
00:54and then I'm just going to get told to come back here, aren't I?
00:56So, I need...
00:58We need to see a consultant, and I need to get him checked out.
01:01OK.
01:02You will need an actual referral.
01:07Well, you do emergency appointments here, don't you?
01:09Yes.
01:10Right, OK.
01:10Well, can I get one of them, then, please?
01:13His name's Jimmy Bill.
01:14He should be there because he's literally only two weeks old.
01:16I appreciate you, baby, stressful times, Mrs. Bill.
01:20Brannan.
01:21Miss.
01:23This isn't me just being paranoid.
01:25Look, I'm sorry.
01:27I'm sorry.
01:27I know babies don't usually focus this early,
01:30and they develop at different times.
01:34This...
01:35This is different.
01:38OK, I can feel it.
01:39I know it's different.
01:40It would strongly suggest, as a start,
01:43if Mum is worried, she'd contact her health visitor.
01:45For God's sake, no!
01:46It's not me that needs help!
01:47It's him!
01:48It's my baby!
01:49This is urgent!
01:52Right.
01:53Listen, mate, I need a word.
01:55Your mum is...
01:56I'm not saying she's, um...
01:59She's ill,
02:00and there's nothing to worry about, mate,
02:02but a lot of women can feel quite strung out and sad
02:05right after a baby's born.
02:07It's just going to be hardest on your mum, you know?
02:10So let's just...
02:11Let's be nice to her.
02:12Don't kick the football against the front door.
02:15Yeah, and that.
02:17Right, come on.
02:21Lauren?
02:24Babe?
02:28Oh, the pram's gone.
02:30If she's taking Jimmy for it,
02:31that means she can pick up some milk, Lee.
02:33Why don't you take your tablet?
02:35What?
02:35Under the sink.
02:37What do you mean?
02:38What do you mean?
02:38What tablet?
02:41What tablet?
02:42Louie?
02:45Louie!
02:47When did you last see your mum take your tablet?
02:52Right, two minutes break.
02:53Don't go anywhere.
02:54Louie, stay there, yeah?
02:59Linda?
03:00Linda?
03:02Linda, have you seen Lauren?
03:03I can't find her.
03:03Well, Lauren could be having her lie down upstairs if...
03:07Well, she's not there.
03:08She's not in.
03:09And you don't understand.
03:10The health visitor thought she might have postnatal depression.
03:12Okay, but...
03:13It's not that, though, is it?
03:14Well, does the health visitor know that Lauren...
03:16Not that.
03:17Is it?
03:17Come on.
03:18Hang on.
03:20Hang on.
03:20There's no way.
03:22She has another stash.
03:23What?
03:23That's what Louie says.
03:25It must be morphine again.
03:27What?
03:27She's got drugs in the house.
03:28Grand shut me down, but it makes sense.
03:30That's why she's all over the place.
03:31Peter!
03:31There's tablets under the sink.
03:34That's what Louie told me.
03:35But they're not there anymore, Dad.
03:36They're gone.
03:37I took her at face value.
03:38Just...
03:38Just...
03:39Hang on.
03:39All right?
03:40Lauren talks to you.
03:41Doesn't she?
03:43Lynn, you can't just go on the say-so of a nine-year-old.
03:46Why would Louie make it up?
03:47I mean, once an addict, always an addict.
03:50I'm sorry, Lynn, no offence, but it's easy to have a relapse, isn't it?
03:58I told you, I've already seen my health visitor.
04:00And she didn't pick up anything with your son.
04:02Oh, Dave.
04:03Barb's going in the disabled loos again.
04:08Maybe she just got distracted or jumped to conclusions.
04:12We do have a waiting list.
04:13What's that going to be for an urgent appointment?
04:15Six months, if I'm lucky.
04:17Have you got any idea how hard that is going to be to wait for?
04:21For us?
04:23For him?
04:24For me?
04:24Doctors were happy.
04:26Otherwise they wouldn't have discharged you.
04:28If you're not satisfied with your health visitor,
04:30you need to make an appointment with your practice.
04:32If necessary, the GP will refer James to us
04:37and an appropriate consultant.
04:39It is not James.
04:41It is Jimmy.
04:43And that is just not good enough.
04:45Well, that's how the system works.
04:47Well, I'm just his mother.
04:49What do I know?
04:56No, do you know what?
04:58I want to speak to your manager.
05:00And then I want to speak to your manager's manager.
05:02I'm sorry, guys.
05:03I'm sorry.
05:04But we just...
05:05Looks like we're going to have to wait a little bit.
05:06For as long as it takes.
05:09Because I am not moving.
05:13Go on, then.
05:15Call security.
05:17Hope you don't mind your face all over social media, then.
05:19We do not tolerate threatening behaviour.
05:24You need to listen to me.
05:26Just listen, OK?
05:29I know that you probably end up with all sorts in here,
05:32and you probably have had a guttful.
05:35This is not just my job.
05:39This is my life.
05:41My baby.
05:43And for all we know,
05:45every second that you spend just fobbing me off,
05:47he is getting worse.
05:50I am not some crazy hysterical mother
05:53that you get to patronise.
05:55I'm not.
05:55My son needs help.
05:58He needs help.
05:59So, you need to help him.
06:02Help him.
06:03Help him.
06:03Now.
06:04Lauren?
06:11After everything she said,
06:13right, after everything she promised,
06:15I mean, that girl is a walking disaster.
06:18I mean, lack of sleep, stressed.
06:20I mean, you go and look it up, right?
06:21It is all classic signs of morphine addiction.
06:25Withdrawal.
06:25I mean, she's been at it again.
06:26Right underneath our noses.
06:28Or new motherhood, Ian.
06:29Look, I can spare an hour.
06:31Go and check up the park.
06:32I should have trusted my instincts, all right?
06:34I mean, she's a brainy.
06:36You want to watch out for your little girl
06:37with her genetics?
06:38Lauren loves her boys.
06:40According to Peter,
06:41my grandson is losing weight
06:43because she can't even breastfeed him properly.
06:45What did you just say?
06:46Look, I'm just saying how it is, all right?
06:48I mean, I've had enough of this woke stuff.
06:51Well, I can only apologise to my son, Linda.
06:53It's his age.
06:54I'm spending too much time
06:55following powerful men online
06:57and liking their nonsense.
06:59I don't need any more grief.
07:00Look, any money,
07:01Lauren will be back before tea time.
07:03It's exactly what I said.
07:05Hello?
07:06She says...
07:07Hospital.
07:09It's the hospital.
07:11Yes.
07:13No.
07:14Well, I've managed to calm her down a little.
07:16If someone can come to pick them up,
07:18if I can try to stay with her until then.
07:20No, not at all.
07:22It's not unusual for new mums to worry,
07:24particularly when there's been issues with feeding.
07:26Lauren clearly just...
07:28Sorry, what do you mean?
07:30Shh.
07:34Shh.
07:34Oh.
07:36It's OK.
07:38It's OK.
07:39Don't cry.
07:40Oh, don't cry.
07:42You're hungry, little boy.
07:43I know.
07:45It's OK.
07:46We can try again, can't we?
07:49Yeah?
07:50We can try again.
07:53I'll never stop trying.
07:57Lauren, can you open the door, please?
07:59Uh...
08:00Lauren, can you hear me?
08:01Yeah.
08:02Have you got someone?
08:03Have you...
08:03Have you found us a consultant?
08:08I'm very sorry to be blunt,
08:09but I'm afraid I have to ask.
08:11Peter is concerned.
08:12Are you taking any unprescribed medication
08:14your family weren't aware of?
08:16What?
08:18Peter thinks I'm relapsing.
08:20Something your older son told him?
08:22Tablets you store under the sink?
08:27Yeah.
08:29Thank you, darling.
08:32Hello.
08:34Penny said everyone's up to dash off.
08:36I thought we could have our dinner out
08:38at a proper restaurant.
08:40Wond you, Megan?
08:42What?
08:42You heard what I said?
08:44Louis was left here.
08:46Louis stays here.
08:47Oh, right.
08:48And what are you going to do if I don't agree?
08:50Hospitalise me?
08:51We've already got our nuggets in the oven,
08:53haven't we, darling?
08:54Is Mum ill again?
08:55Is that why you're whispering?
08:56Um, no.
08:57Oh, no.
08:58Um, do you know what?
09:00They do brilliant ice cream in that restaurant, too.
09:03We've got ice cream.
09:05Are you staying, Grandma?
09:06Can she stay, Gran?
09:08Of course.
09:09Oh, excellent.
09:12Nuggets.
09:13Your Gran's best dish.
09:14Hey, hey, little man.
09:30You all right?
09:31Sleepy.
09:32You OK?
09:34Is she OK?
09:37Right, there's these tablets.
09:38She's been taking these tablets.
09:39I think Lauren should explain.
09:40Have you any idea how disappointed we are?
09:42Spolic acid.
09:44I mean, what is that?
09:44Some sort of freak?
09:45Folic acid.
09:45It's folic acid.
09:46It's just what every pregnant woman takes.
09:49Every breastfeeding woman would take.
09:50They're trying to do what's best for their kid.
09:52It's a supplement over the counter.
09:54So why is she hiding it under the sink, then?
09:56I don't know.
09:58I've got no idea.
09:59Have you ever given birth, Ian?
10:02Had to look after a whole household and the other child,
10:04all while you're wearing a maternity pad the same size as a pillow?
10:07And then your boobs are just leaking.
10:13I think I just put them next to the nappies.
10:18I did.
10:18I just put them next to the nappies.
10:22I don't know.
10:22I could be lying because I don't...
10:24I honestly do not remember the last time I had a shower.
10:27I don't remember the last time I brushed my teeth.
10:29I'm sorry.
10:30No, don't.
10:31Don't touch me.
10:32I don't want you anywhere near me.
10:33We're meant to be doing this together.
10:37Out of everyone, you are meant to be on my side.
10:41Perhaps we could give Mum and Dad a minute.
10:43Well, you don't exactly make it easy, don't you?
10:44Shut up, Ian.
10:48Lauren, I thought you might need some more express milk.
10:56No, I wasn't... I didn't...
10:58Postnatal depression?
11:00Would anyone actually be surprised?
11:01I mean, your whole family talking down at me.
11:06You're always looking for a problem as long as it's mine.
11:08Will you blame us?
11:09I am not Cindy!
11:13I'm not your mum!
11:15I stand by my kids.
11:19I...
11:19I...
11:20I raised Louis on my own for years.
11:25Do you know what?
11:27I'm done.
11:29I'm done.
11:30You win.
11:32I'm not trying to win anything over you, Lauren.
11:34I've just lost it.
11:34It's my hormones.
11:35I'm just some pathetic ex-addict.
11:38Some little woman that you've just got to try and control.
11:40That's not what I think of you.
11:42No, it is.
11:42No, it's not.
11:43Yes, it is.
11:44You just fake like you're listening to me.
11:47And you just smile.
11:48And you nod.
11:49Anything for an easy life, Peter.
11:50I have said it over and over again.
11:55And you still haven't even looked at him.
11:58You haven't.
11:59Not properly.
12:00Not once.
12:01Why are his eyes like that?
12:03Because he can't focus.
12:08His gaze just sort of drifts off.
12:11Hey, you all right now?
12:13It's like that.
12:14It's like that all the time.
12:15It's constant.
12:16And you have to really, really look for it.
12:18Right?
12:18But it's just...
12:19It's like his eyes just wobbling.
12:20It's like it.
12:24Okay.
12:26Might be worth getting someone to have a little look.
12:28As you're here anyway.
12:38Can you put a call up from S.O.U.?
12:40Now, please.
12:43S.O.U.?
12:44Do you have a minute?
12:45You know what?
12:45The amount I've paid in parking fees,
12:47they should give me my own space.
12:49Martell cappuccino.
12:51It's not going to make any difference to the taste, is it?
12:58One step at a time, eh?
13:02One step at a time.
13:04If you think you'll be all right.
13:17I'm sorry.
13:20I've got an addictive personality.
13:26You've always known that about me.
13:29But it's like every time I say it, it just doesn't land with you.
13:33The morphine, it didn't just kick off because I went wandering about the streets looking for it.
13:40And that is not me saying that none of this is my fault.
13:43I know.
13:44I broke your trust and I'm not proud of myself.
13:51I'm just not sure that this is going to be something that we can get over, is it?
13:56Every time that you expect the worst of me, or you just ignore me, you break my trust.
14:07And not one of our parents has ever just stood by each other.
14:17Maybe loyalty just isn't in our DNA.
14:20I'm sorry.
14:21I'm sorry.
14:22I'm sorry.
14:23You know, ever since Lucy died, I...
14:25The only time I don't feel like half a person is when I've got you by my side.
14:31It's the only time.
14:45I just want you, me, the boys.
14:51I just want a normal life.
15:01Mum, I can't answer what I don't know.
15:10Alright, um...
15:12Maybe it wasn't drugs, alright?
15:16I mean, she was still pretty hysterical.
15:21Yeah, the midwife said, well, might as well do some testing as we're here.
15:26Let's have a look.
15:27Now, to be honest, I think they're a...
15:31I think they are just humouring Lauren.
15:34Yeah, his eyes are a little bit slow, but I mean, that's...
15:38It's nothing unusual in my experience.
15:40I mean, give the poor little fellow a chance.
15:42I mean, he can't even lift his head up yet, can he?
15:45That's right.
15:45Oh.
15:47I mean, all he's meant to be able to do is eat, sleep, and...
15:50Yeah.
15:51Exactly.
15:53Well, if the hospital were that worried,
15:55like, they'd have had him in straight away, wouldn't they?
16:01I can't see anything wrong with his eyes.
16:06Yeah, they're going to do some non-invasive tests, you know.
16:10Just check little Jimmy out and put their minds at rest.
16:16Yeah, and get Lauren off their bags.
16:18OK.
16:21Yeah, well, I'm...
16:22I'm sure you're right.
16:25Well, we...
16:26We just have to wait and see, won't we?
16:29All right.
16:30Bye.
16:30Bye.
16:30Bye.
16:38Bye.
16:51Bye.
16:53Bye.
16:56Bye.
16:58Bye.
16:59I told you I don't do politics
17:17I'm just saying
17:19when we were growing up
17:20being a powerful man
17:22didn't make him toxic did it
17:25I mean what is wrong with wanting to try and get out
17:27what you put in
17:28I mean that's my point
17:29I mean I pay my taxes
17:31I mean by rights you could say
17:33I bought this for the NHS
17:35well you've killed off their plastic pot plant
17:38obviously I'm not going to ask them for it back
17:40but if I did own this
17:41I would have fixed it
17:43obviously that's a design flaw
17:48people wonder why the NHS is on its knees
17:51are we done yet
17:57or do I have to go and stick another second mortgage on
17:59to pay for half an hour of parking
18:01Peter
18:02we can take five if you'd like to go after him
18:08let Peter catch his breath
18:10why don't I find some literature that might help
18:15so as I explained
18:17Jimmy has optic nerve and chorio retinal coloboma
18:21which means that the back of his eyes hasn't properly formed
18:25back of the eye is vital
18:27to give the brain the information it needs
18:30to make a picture of the world
18:32we will need to do further tests
18:34this is such an unusually early diagnosis
18:38wouldn't normally have been picked up
18:40until Jimmy was several months
18:42but
18:43I can't see
18:43I would suggest that we register Jimmy
18:48as severely sight impaired
18:51he's blind
18:57I can't see
19:03I can't see
19:09I can't see
19:10right so what now
19:15Peter you need to man up
19:18no no this doesn't make any sense
19:21alright
19:21I mean how could this happen
19:22I mean how could my grandson learn anything
19:25right how's he going to read
19:27drive
19:28dress himself
19:29feed himself
19:29how is my grandson going to have any sort of normal life
19:32when he can't see
19:33it's his eyes
19:35it's not his brain
19:37right you need to get back in there
19:40right and see that Miss A up
19:42okay
19:42tell her that we are going to go private
19:44look I've got a pension
19:45that I can access
19:46we are going to get a second opinion
19:48we are going to get every treatment
19:50we are going to get every operation
19:51we are going to fix
19:52Jimmy
19:52unfortunately
19:56there is no operation
19:58in some families
20:01coloboma can be inherited
20:03but many cases appear
20:05without any previous family history
20:07the methadone you were prescribed
20:11cannot have caused this Lauren
20:13it
20:14it can be environmental factors
20:17infections
20:18or
20:20harmful drugs
20:22during pregnancy
20:23I did this
20:29we will need to carry out further tests
20:32we'll have a much clearer idea
20:34when those results come back in six weeks
20:36I did this
20:37I did this
20:39this is my punishment
20:46this is what I deserve
20:50but not him
20:50I mean
20:51how can you play Russian roulette
20:53with a little tiny baby's life
20:55no
20:57what sort of mother does that
21:02Lauren
21:03selfish
21:06screw up
21:08now he's the one that loses
21:10okay listen
21:12we can't know the cause
21:14at this stage
21:15but he's to say
21:21that's what you're telling me
21:24that's what you're telling me
21:24for definite
21:27yes
21:30but he is
21:34this
21:36this is all my fault
21:37my baby is disabled
21:43for the rest of his life
21:46a disability is not a death sentence
22:07details of the eye care liaison officer we mentioned
22:11and charities
22:13there were some really great advice teams
22:15once things start to sink in
22:18you and Lauren are bound to have questions
22:19could you just take me out
22:23right
22:26right
22:28okay
22:28well I'll make sure that Lauren gets back okay
22:32thank you
22:33for being so kind
22:35they just need to give themselves some time
22:37Peter is shell shocked
22:39they all are
22:40thank you
22:42well
22:46okay
22:47well
22:48he's
22:48good
22:48you
22:49I'm
22:50good
22:51you
22:52I'm
22:52good
22:52you
22:55Huh?
22:57Huh?
23:02Oh, yeah.
23:25HE SIGHS
23:46God, forgive me.
23:50Please. Please forgive me.
23:55I'm so sorry.
23:58I'm so sorry, Jimmy.
24:05Everything.
24:08Everything that I've taken away from you.
24:14You can't see.
24:17You can't see me.
24:19I would do anything. I would give anything to take it all back.
24:27I promise you I am never going to take not even a paracetamol ever again.
24:33The future that you don't have.
24:39How?
24:41How?
24:43How could I do this to you?
24:46You deserve so much better than this.
24:51I love you.
24:54I love you.
24:57I love you so much.
25:02Oh, God.
25:04God, I'm scared.
25:09Oh, I'm scared.
25:12I don't know how to do this.
25:14I don't know what you need.
25:19I never meant for any of this to happen.
25:28That's it.
25:30That's all well done, you beautiful, beautiful baby boy.
25:33Shh.
25:36Shh.
25:38Shh.
25:40Yeah, we got there in the end, didn't we, eh?
25:44You and me.
25:47Because it is, it's you and me.
25:50It's you and me now.
25:54And I owe you.
25:58I've got to work this out.
25:59I will, I will work it out.
26:05I am never going to stop fighting for you.
26:08I am going to be right there with you.
26:18In the dark.
26:19Because we are, aren't we? We're in the dark together.
26:32And I don't know...
26:34I don't know how we're going to get through it
26:37and I can't say that everything's going to be okay.
26:39I can't.
26:41I swear to you.
26:44You're not on your own.
26:46You're not.
26:47Mummy's right here with you.
26:51Mummy's right here.
26:55We are going to do this together.
26:56Is together?
27:05mm-mm…
27:06mm-mm…
27:11.
27:15bardzo, bardzo