Eleni McIllroy's story told in ACT Legislative Assembly

The Canberra Times

Dr Marisa Paterson MLA tells Eleni McIllroy's story in the ACT Legislative Assembly.

Transcript

00:00This is the Assembly adjourned. Dr Patterson.

00:09Thank you Madam Speaker. This is the final story in my series of stories from donor-conceived

00:15people. This is Eleni's story and these are her words. I was conceived in November 1988

00:24via sperm donation in Canberra and born in 1989. I have known about my donor conception

00:32my whole life. I have no memory of being told so I could build my identity around it. My

00:39parents spoke very openly and honestly about it but had no information for me. I left Canberra

00:48for 15 years as an adult for many reasons but I felt a positive side effect would be reducing

00:55the risk of unknowingly starting any kind of relationship with a half-sibling. My understanding

01:01from my parents and the doctor is that my conception happened in consulting rooms outside of an

01:06official clinic. My parents' understanding was that it was a direct agreement between

01:11the three, the doctor, the donor and my parents, all around an anonymous sperm donation. Apparently

01:20confidentiality and privacy forms were signed but no records remain with any party. My parents'

01:27psychological situation is important here in regard to a medical duty of care. Four years

01:33prior to my birth my 13 year old brother drowned, a traumatic experience and a massive loss for

01:40the whole family. After a failed vasectomy reversal my father could not be my biological father.

01:50I don't know how my mother was counselled on making this decision on what was the best format

01:55for going forward. It is important to recognise the impact of her situation on the decisions she

02:01made, her trauma and loss, her age and the time pressures that that presented and how a lack

02:08of regulation and appropriate child centred counselling played into her decision making. She chose donor

02:15anonymity and received no information about the donor or my future rights. I wasn't curious about sperm

02:24donor information until I started thinking about having my own children and how my lack of DNA knowledge

02:30may affect them. So in my mid-20s I contacted the doctor by letter asking about my rights and what

02:38processes were in place. I was informed over the phone that as a private arrangement no details would

02:46have been taken and even if there were data records they would have been destroyed after seven years.

02:52So I would have had to have made that decision by the age of six years old.

02:56I was offered a meeting with the doctor at cost but I was told I would be told the same information.

03:07I was shocked I would be charged hundreds of dollars for 10 minutes and decided not to go through this

03:13process. This forced me to turn to DNA testing which wasn't my preferred method as I actually just

03:19wanted medical information and a knowledge of how many half siblings and cousins etc I would have

03:25and what last names to be wary of. Ultimately I had to pay a genetic genealogist to make sense of my DNA

03:34and now I have identified the sibling group the donor came from and made initial contact with the family.

03:42I also consulted a lawyer to understand my rights and was shocked to learn that there was nothing in the

03:48law that allowed for any support for me, my donor, my parents or the donor's family. I was on my own.

03:56There was no requirement for any basic information such as number of siblings, cultural or medical

04:01history to be kept on file for any decent period of time in the ACT. The costs of pursuing information with

04:09the doctor and lawyers was prohibitive and unlikely to deliver me anything except a painful experience.

04:17Of all the difficulties being a donor-conceived person creates, the treatment by the fertility industry

04:23has been the worst. After making contact with my donor's family I learned all the vague statements the

04:31doctor had supplied about my donor's situation to be untrue. I uncovered important medical and cultural

04:37information that my parents had no access to. The lack of records also means my donor's families can't

04:44get the truth around what happened as there is a very serious concern that my donor was exploited

04:51unknowingly, that I cannot set straight either way without these records. That is Eleni's story

04:59and it's stories like Gayle's, Eleni's and Kiralee's and many others that I've heard thanks to Donor

05:05Conceived Australia that I will continue to pursue to see reform in the ACT and see the rights of the

05:12child front and centre of legislative reform. Thank you. The question is the assembly do now adjourn.

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