- 5/8/2025
As we grow up, so do our parents—and with that comes a new kind of worry: Are we financially ready to take care of them if something unexpected happens?
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00:00It's great that you want to help them out, but I think one thing you need to make sure of is that
00:03you're okay financially. Because emergencies for you could be a medical bill, it could be you have
00:08to change tires, unless something really happens to your car, you need to buy a new car. I think
00:11whatever your parents need, there is or there are alternatives to it. In the worst case scenario,
00:16I would help you out, but I need you to also help yourself out.
00:23What's up guys, I am Ymir with The Money Goal Podcast and today I have Anis with me.
00:28Hi! Anis, I heard you are, you're in a bit of a pickle thinking about your parents and their
00:33finances. So, why don't you talk a bit more about that? I see. Well, first of all, thank you for
00:38having me here. I guess straight to the point, obviously, being the oldest daughter, it is,
00:44I guess in a kind of a sense, I feel a bit more responsibility to my parents, even at like the
00:49ripe age of in my late 20s. But recently, my dad is about to retire. And unfortunately, in the past
00:57like 10 years, he has been having a lot of health issues. And because of that, once he retires,
01:03he doesn't have like his health insurance anymore, right? So, it got to a point to me like, I look at
01:08my savings and I look at my parents and I'm like, I don't think I can be able to help them.
01:13Support them after retirement, right?
01:14Yeah, it's like, it's getting a little bit, you know, like, I'm a little bit scared for them.
01:19Obviously, my mother is still around. She's also working. And also, again, I'm like, she can't be
01:23alone to like, you know, support my dad after this. So, I'm just thinking like, is there any way for me
01:27to start now? Or is it too late or something for me to kind of support my parents with however I can,
01:35like financially, once my dad retires, you know?
01:38Okay, okay. That's a very good thought process, I guess, being responsible and stuff. I have an
01:43older sister. So, I guess I'll let her worry about this.
01:45I'm the older sister here.
01:47Yeah, I think before we even get to the finances or I mean, what you can do and stuff like that.
01:54It's great that you want to help them out. But I think one thing you need to make sure of is that
01:58you're okay financially, right? So, before even worrying about other people,
02:02of course, we want the best for, you know, our parents, our siblings, our friends, relatives,
02:07whoever it is, right? But you need to make sure that you are okay first. So, I think we need to
02:10just, you know, make sure that that's there. But okay. So, if your dad, so right now he has
02:15his company's health insurance, right? Which is, so you're worried that once he stops working,
02:18he wouldn't get insured anymore?
02:20Yes, yes. So, basically, what I understand from his company is that, well, some companies have
02:25like a relatively very robust, like even like after retirement, some form of that money
02:32will, you know, go into his retirement. But unfortunately for my dad, that's not the
02:36case, which is why I'm a little bit more concerned.
02:38Okay, okay. But you said your mom is still going to continue working?
02:40Yes, she has like, I mean, relatively, they are of like the same age.
02:44Similar age.
02:45Yeah, but my dad is going on an early retirement because of his health.
02:49I see. Okay, okay, okay. I think first thing they can consider is, I'm not sure if your mom's
02:54company would have this, but I think most companies would do health insurance for your spouse as well.
02:58Yeah, for your spouse and kids, right? Direct family. So, I think that could be something
03:02to consider just, you know, for as long as your mom works, at least your dad is still
03:05covered. Right? Yeah.
03:07That sounds great. I'm pretty sure my mom has that.
03:09Should be.
03:10But again, like, she probably only has like another five years.
03:12Yeah, so you still need to prepare for after that, right?
03:14Yeah.
03:14Yeah, exactly.
03:15Would you say that that is actually a good time, like, I guess for me to start and build
03:21something for my dad and maybe along the way of like my mom as well?
03:25Okay, so when it comes to finances, I always think the best time to start was yesterday,
03:31but the next best time is today. So, I mean, we are here today, right? So, there's no point
03:34talking about, ah, I should have started five years ago or 10 years ago. I think today is
03:36always a good time to start, right? So, okay, when it comes to healthcare, you can start saving
03:42for your parents. So, I think what you can do is set up something called a sinking fund.
03:46So, this is sort of a separate pool of money that you're setting aside for any potential
03:52medical needs that your parents will need, you know, down the line. So, let's say you
03:55say, okay, every month, I'm going to get RM7,000 salary, example, and I'm going to put
03:59in RM1,000 every month to put towards my parents' medical needs, right? So, whether you
04:05hit, whether you have a goal in mind or not, I think if you have a goal, then you can just
04:09backwards calculate to see, you know, if you can achieve it or not. But I think at this
04:13point, five years ago, you can just do as much as you can. Like I said, you don't want
04:19to do it to the point that you're sacrificing your own situation, right? A lot of people,
04:25a lot of Malaysians are in what we call a sandwich generation. Have you heard of that?
04:30A sandwich?
04:31A sandwich generation. Like you're literally a sandwich, yeah.
04:33What is that?
04:34So, a sandwich generation is a bit of an unfortunate situation where we are sandwiched by cause
04:40of our parents and our kids as well. So, we are the in-between. We are the in-between.
04:45And this is something that countries like South Africa as well, they are having problems
04:49with it. People don't want to have kids because they are sandwiched, right? So, you have your
04:53own expenses, of course. You still want to eat. You still want to enjoy life, right?
04:57But then, you know, you have kids. Obviously, you need to take care of them and then you have
05:00parents as well.
05:01So, this is a tricky thing. Like I said, you can save as much as possible for your parents,
05:07but at the same time, you still need to think about yourself. Because I think that's just
05:09like I said, one thing that we just want to make sure that that's clear. For your parents,
05:14like I said, just put it aside into a sinking fund and then see how much you can save after
05:19five years and then let them have it there, right? This is for them.
05:23I see. I just have a question. Like, would a sinking fund actually be different, for example,
05:28like an emergency savings? Would that be separate, like completely separate from my own, like,
05:33you know, like I have like my savings and then I have a little bit of like just in case if I make
05:37a car breakdown or like again for health issues. Would the sinking fund, for example, for my parents
05:42be separate from that?
05:44Okay, I would do it separate. Yeah, I would do it separate because I would say your emergency
05:47funds are really for your emergencies. And this is something that I think everyone needs. You have
05:51to have it, right? Because emergencies for you could be a medical bill. It could be you have to change
05:55tires. Unless it's something really happens to your car, you need to buy a new car. So, you don't
05:59really want to touch these, or sorry, this money for anything that your parent might need.
06:04Because, okay, I think now we need to get a bit towards that side. Because I think whatever your parents
06:08need, there is or there are alternatives to it, right? So, for example, with your dad, medical
06:14needs in Malaysia, there's always KKM, right? There's always KKM that on the worst case scenario,
06:19you will get treated at least. And it's going to be very cheap for you. It's going to be free or
06:23extremely cheap, right? So, that's why to me, my thinking is push comes to shove. If, let's say,
06:29there's a very expensive medical bill, if you were to go private, and you're thinking, hey, I can afford
06:33this with my emergency fund, I can take it away from my savings. But I could also just go the
06:39route of KKM. Yes. Right? I think at the end of the day, people need to be responsible for their
06:43own finances. And it's not that KKM is bad, right? I think KKM is a pretty good option that we can
06:48utilize. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But again, I guess it's also the notion like, oh, why settle for KKM
06:54when you can like try the best. But unfortunately, I feel like sometimes, you know, like when you go look
06:59back at finances, like, can you really afford? Exactly. Yeah, I get what you mean. So, I think
07:03recently, I just went through this myself as well. I think, yeah, because my mom just retired, I
07:08think, one or two years ago. Oh, okay. Right? And so, I didn't wait for anything to happen to her.
07:14Everything was in anticipation. Okay. So, I was honest with her upfront about, you know, this is
07:19your situation right now. This is what you can afford. Of course, in the worst case scenario, I
07:24would help you out. But I need you to also help yourself out. Right? So, for example, a few years before
07:29she quit, I made her get like medical insurance. So, she is on medical insurance right now,
07:34which would cover any medical bills. Right? But even aside from that, because I assume you're not
07:38just thinking about medical insurance. You're thinking about their day-to-day expenses, if they
07:42need care later on in life, where they're going to live and all those stuff. Right? Yes. I went
07:46through the same thing as well. And I was honest with my mom. Right? This is how much money you have
07:50in EPF. Good thing is your son knows a bit about finances. So, let me just help you calculate,
07:55you know, how much can you spend a year? And you should not exceed this. So, I was very brutal. I was
08:00brutally honest. Right? Everybody wants to have a nice life. My mom said, oh, I want to enjoy luxuries
08:04in life as well. Everyone wants to enjoy luxuries. But the reality is, this is your scenario. And this
08:08is what we need to work with. In the case where I'm a millionaire, where I make a lot of money, of
08:13course, I will give you this money to enjoy life even better and stuff. But you should not live your life
08:18as if I'm going to continue supporting you forever. Right? I think those kind of things, being preemptive,
08:23it's a lot better than, oh, no, I'm out of my EPF money now. Because I assume your dad,
08:27your mom has EPF as well? Yes. Fortunately, that's, I guess, like, the initial, like,
08:32initially, they were already like, okay, we have EPF. Maybe we can make it. But I guess it's the,
08:37I guess it's the responsibility of, like, the oldest, the oldest child, right? It's like,
08:41alah, ma, I need to, I need to take care of my life. Yeah. I don't want to see them in,
08:45you know, if I can afford private health care, why not pay for it? Like you said, like,
08:48they retire, they should be enjoying life, you know, like, being at their best. But yeah,
08:54it's like, I want to give them the best. Yeah. Can I? Exactly. Yeah. Okay. So I guess that's a
08:59very good question then. Can you afford it? So do you do, do you budget? Do you budget for yourself?
09:03Yes. Yes. Okay. So you have your own budget, like, this is your income. This goes to expenses. This
09:07goes to savings. This goes to one. So yeah. Yeah. I guess it's just the idea of like, oh, I have to like
09:13split it a little bit more to kind of allocate to my parents. Okay. For the just in case. Okay.
09:18Cases, I guess. Yeah. I would say then if you're someone who's financially comfortable already on
09:22your own, like, let's say this includes savings, by the way. To me, this includes saving for your
09:25future as well, not just your immediate needs, right? So if you have your immediate needs sorted,
09:29you have your savings, your investments all sorted for yourself as well for your future. Yep. And then
09:34you have extra cash. If you want to allocate that towards your parents, then I think by all means,
09:38that, right, do it. This is like, there is a portion of money that people can spend however
09:44they want. Some people would rather blow it having nice dinners and stuff, but some people
09:49more responsible like yourself. I know a lot of people are like this. They would rather
09:53put it to your parents. And I think that's fine. I think if you think this will bring you
09:56happiness, if you think that this is the least that your parents deserve, then this money
09:59can go towards that. Right? Yeah. I'm definitely trying. I mean, I'm not necessarily, I don't
10:04think that I'm in a sense of like comfort levels. I guess like I'm okay.
10:08Um, I just, I guess I assume the worst in the sense. So I want to give the best. And
10:15unfortunately, I do feel like maybe I have to take a little bit from myself, which I
10:20understand from what you say, like I need to put myself first. Exactly. Because if I
10:23have nothing, what am I supposed to give? Yeah. It's going to be hard for you to help
10:26them if you're in a tricky situation, right? Yeah. It's going to be a lot easier if you're
10:30stable and then everything from there is easy. So, okay. The trick that I use at least
10:35for my mom was that she just retired. Okay. I didn't want her to splash or splurge
10:41everything. I think that's very dangerous. You know, once they get access to the EPF
10:44money, you know, oh, I have 1 million in there. That's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot, but it's
10:49not going to last you 20, 25 years, right? With prices going up. So I would say one thing
10:54you can do with your parents is you want, you tell them you want to do the best for them.
10:57You want to give them the best, but starting out when your dad just retires, just take
11:01it easy, right? Don't go too overboard. Try going with KKM, just budget around what he
11:06has with EPF. At least you start early. And then if you realize that, you know, he has
11:12extra money in EPF that he can spend, or if you start doing better, then he can increase
11:15his lifestyle. So the reason I say this is I think increasing your lifestyle is a lot easier
11:21than decreasing your lifestyle. It's a lot easier than, you know, when you're just retired,
11:25you're like, oh, I'm going to a five-star hotel in Bali. I'm flying to Europe every
11:29year. And then five years later, you're like, oh, no, I don't have any more money. It's
11:32going to be very difficult to adjust your lifestyle downwards, right? Which is why I
11:35think at the start, just take it easy. Use KKM. Don't go too ham. Don't decide to buy
11:40a new house. I've heard a lot of people get their EPF money and they're like, oh, 1.5 million.
11:46Let me just buy a house. And I think that's one of the worst decisions that they can
11:49make. Try to just hold on to that cash. Yeah. I guess, I mean, in a sense
11:54that, from what my mom says, right, it's like, oh, it's okay because like, we have your dad's
11:59EPF and we have my EPF. So they're thinking in like the combined EPF is like, it's enough
12:05for them to kind of like live comfortably. But I guess in a sense, see, as a person from
12:11the outside, seeing my dad go like every year, like sometimes he goes into the hospital for
12:16like three to four times a year. It's really jarring for me as someone on the outside to
12:22see this, right? They say they're fine, but are they really? So I'm thinking on a sense
12:27of like, if, for example, like the insurance, obviously, like they have insurance that my
12:32dad has insurance and everything. Okay. But worst comes to shove, like if, for example,
12:38like my mom suddenly gets sick as well. And it's like, not just my dad, but also like my
12:42mom, right? That's where I'm kind of concerned. Like, would that like some of EPF would be
12:48okay for the both of them? Or again, like, do I have to really like be, like you said,
12:54like you are really brutally honest with your mom, right? I'm relatively not that
12:59honestly, but should I be just as brutally honest? Like, okay, you seem okay that, you
13:04know, you have both each other's finances, like EPF sorted, but are you guys really
13:10sure? Because I've heard, like my mom is like, like, obviously her first thing is
13:14like, oh, I want to go to Umrah again, which is like, yes, obviously, like we want
13:19that, but should you do immediately? Or like, let's just wait a while. Yeah, I
13:24think exactly like I said, right? Just wait a while, you know, delay that
13:28gratification a bit. Okay. I think one thing with EPF, I'm not sure if this is how
13:31your parents calculated it, but okay, let's say EPF dividends is 5%, right? Let's
13:36say it's 5% a year. Yeah. So if they want to spend 100k a year, if they need that
13:40post-retirement, right? So we can just 100k divided by 5%, which we will get 2
13:44million, right? So it means that if combined, they have 2 million in EPF, I
13:48would say honestly, they're sorted because just from dividends, they can
13:52settle their monthly expenses. They don't even have to touch that 2
13:54million. It will just continue. Yeah. That's basically what people use for a
13:58gauge of whether they're ready to retire or not. Yeah. So let's say you just
14:01bring this up with them and see that that's the number that they're using. And
14:04if they want to do certain things, let's say they want to go to Umrah, they want
14:07to buy a house, stuff like that. You tell them, hey, if you do that, you're
14:102 million will now be 1.5 million. Your dividends on that would not be 100k
14:14anymore. It would be 75k. Are you okay with that? Right? Are you okay? Yeah, I
14:18think these are the things that people need to consider when they get close to
14:20retirement age. And like I said, I think if they have a lot of cash, if they
14:24think they are comfortable with hospital bills and stuff, like I said, I think
14:28they can go for it if they think they have enough money, but they need to know
14:30the downsides as well. Like I said, if you spend that money, that money is now not
14:33earning you dividends anymore. It means that in the future, you might not, you
14:37know, have as much cash flow that's coming from investments. But like I said, I
14:41think at the end of the day, having KKM, having free healthcare in Malaysia is
14:44amazing. How do your parents feel about that? Do they, are they like, ah, worst case, we
14:49can just go to KKM. Are they okay with it? My mom is perfectly okay with KKM. She's fine.
14:54Yeah, like obviously like my dad, because he, I guess he's comfortable, you know, like
14:58having like the free insurance from his company. Obviously, his, because of his like
15:02split disc and diabetes, he has been going to more private hospitals for the, the
15:07specialists there. Uh, so I guess it's a little bit of a change to kind of bring
15:11him back to like KKM. Um, he might have some form of like, uh, resistance at first, I
15:17guess. But at that point, I feel like I have to speak to my mom to kind of like
15:21joke him like, it's not that bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess it's a misconception as
15:26well. It is, it is, it is, yeah. I've been to like, I, I visited like my cousin at the
15:32Putrajaya Hospital, or was it like Serdang, I believe. Yeah. They're, they're like, from
15:37like the facilities and the looks of it, I don't know, services wise, but facility
15:41wise, we're really top notch already. But it's just, I guess, the misconception of
15:45like, oh, we need to always get better. Free versus paid, you know. Yeah, paid is always
15:49better than free. Yeah, private surely is better. I think a lot of people think that
15:51you've got to be brutally, I mean, you've got to be not brutally honest, but you've just
15:54got to have this conversation with your parents, you know, as they retire, um, things
15:58will have to slow down a bit, right? Certain things will just have to be reduced
16:02in terms of lifestyle, just to make sure that the trade-off to that, you know, of
16:05going from a private hospital to KKM, is that for the next 20, 30 years, they'll
16:09be sorted. They'll be, uh, you know, their monthly expenses are all covered. That is
16:12a cost to everything. Of course, then they might think there is another solution,
16:16which is, uh, you pay for me, right? Which I guess is basically the, the, the cross
16:20of everything you're talking about today, right? Yeah, the people pleaser in me will
16:24just come out and be like, okay. But I understand it is, it is a process. Yeah. I
16:30believe, like, obviously, like, just currently, if I'm wrong, like, even with your mom, it
16:34needs, she needed time, I assume, kind of, like, get everything and get a little bit
16:38of that momentum of not working anymore and just being at home. Sometimes I feel
16:43like my dad is also the thing of, like, he, he feels a bit restless going into this.
16:47He, he feels like, oh, he still wants to do more. He told me, like, oh, maybe he can
16:51start a business. And I'm like, just calm down. That would be a good idea. I would feel
16:56the same way. I honestly can't imagine retiring at all. To be fair, same. Yeah. I know a lot
17:00of people are like, oh, I want to retire early and stuff. I was thinking, if I retire, what
17:03am I going to do? Yeah. Right? Yeah. But I just said, well, I guess, in a sense, slow
17:08talk and then KKM is always there. Yeah. Okay. I think, I think to, to sort of just wrap
17:13this up, I think three key takeaways from this for anyone who is in a similar situation
17:17to, to Anis right here. If you have parents who are going through retirement and, you know,
17:22you're thinking about the finances, what you can do. I think first things first with
17:25them, you need to have a conversation with them just to be honest about your own situation
17:30and why you need to think about your future as well. I think that's number one. Right?
17:33And then number two, you need to let them know that, you know, they need to be realistic
17:37with what they have. Yeah. In an ideal world, we're all living in a bungalows. We all have
17:41private chefs who cook food for us. Wow. But we need to be realistic and live within our
17:46means. Especially when you're retired, you want to make it go as far as possible. Yes.
17:50Right. And then number three, like Anis here, she's a very good daughter. I hope my daughter
17:55one day thinks like you, but if you guys want to save for your parents, you can do that.
17:58Right. You can save for your parents. You can set aside a separate sinking fund, but make
18:02sure that all of your needs are sorted out first. Make sure your necessities, your savings,
18:07your investments, everything is good to go. Then you can put any extra money that you have
18:10towards your parents. Right. I think that wraps it up pretty well. Oh my God. Thank you so
18:14much. I'm definitely going to bring all these tips back to my parents. Glad it helped you.
18:17Yeah. That is the end of today's episode of The Money Goal. I'm with Anis. Thank you
18:22very much, guys. See you guys in the next one. Thank you. Bye.
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