- 7/11/2025
Award-winning filmmaker Amanda Nell Eu opens up about her multicultural roots, her journey from Venice to Cannes, and why female rage, Malaysian myths, and the grotesque are at the heart of her storytelling.
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00:00And I keep telling younger filmmakers that it's like you just keep trying to listen to yourself, listen to your own voice and I love characters who are women and they're nasty and selfish and weird and complicated.
00:12After speaking to multiple filmmakers, I think it would be safe to say that your process is pretty unique.
00:18I mean in general I think hearing from Southeast Asian women, hearing women from Indonesia, also from Malaysia saying that this was me at school, I was that kid.
00:28And to see so many women relate to that and understand it, I think that was really special.
00:42Welcome to another episode of Life Confessions. Another fantastic guest joins us today.
00:49She is Malaysian filmmaker Amanda Nell Yu. Thank you for joining us Amanda.
00:55Thanks for having me.
00:55Now I have to say up front, I just watched Tiger Stripes just about a month ago and I wanted to watch it just before meeting you again but so much of it is still fresh in my mind.
01:07And I gotta say, I really enjoyed that movie.
01:11Yeah, thank you.
01:12And before we get into everything right now, tell us about what that movie means to you because it's what now so many people know you for.
01:21Yeah, I mean it's my first feature film so I think, you know, even when I was in film school, it was always this pressure of doing your first feature, your first feature and like I built it into my head that your first feature has to kind of have your full voice.
01:39And like, it's the first time you really show the world who you are, what your personality is, what kind of filmmaker you are.
01:46So, so yeah, I think I did that.
01:49I think, you know, of course I'm very proud of the film but it's also another life.
01:55Like I think recently I watched, like I did a talk and they showed like two scenes from it.
02:00Who made that?
02:01Like, I don't even know who she was or who, like, because yeah, when you make your film, it's so much like of yourself in it but it's also so much of the moment.
02:09And then you kind of mature and you get older and you look back and you're like, wow, like I don't even know who that girl was like a few years ago.
02:17But yeah, but that is the kind of journey of art and storytelling I think, you know, you have your own journey and your voice has its own journey.
02:26But yeah, it's definitely 100% me, still my personality but yeah.
02:30I loved it. I definitely loved it.
02:31Now, you know, you've got quite a story of your own, a personal journey of your own because you spent part of your childhood in Malaysia before moving to the UK at the age of 11.
02:40How have these diverse cultural experiences, you know, and how have they affected your trajectory in terms of the films that you make and any pivotal moments outside of filmmaking that shaped and influenced the way you tell your stories?
02:54Yeah, I mean, very much, I think when I was growing up in the UK, you know, I spent many years there and I always felt like an outsider, obviously, like, you know, I look so different to everyone and, you know, always was like token Asian or like, you know, all these kind of little slight triggers of racism, casual racism and, you know, never really fit in.
03:19And then growing up there, you know, in my teenage years, I moved back to Malaysia, you know, in my late 20s.
03:26And again, felt like a complete outsider back home in Malaysia, you know, spoke differently, like my Malay was so bad, my Chinese was so bad.
03:35I behaved differently, I behaved differently, I dressed differently, again, was an outsider, struggling so hard to assimilate, you know, you know, especially, you know, back in Malaysia, assimilate back into my home, back into my own country.
03:47I was always told like, oh, you don't belong here.
03:49And so that kind of shaped the stories I wanted to tell.
03:53And I think it was coming back here where I really felt like I knew my voice and it was a voice for monsters.
04:01It was a voice for characters who didn't fit in with society, who felt like they were, you know, on the fringes or were either labeled a monster or different or they don't belong in this society or this community.
04:12And so that was when I started to tell stories about these characters and Tiger Stripes is very much a story about, you know, a girl who doesn't fit in or struggling to fit in until she realizes she is who she is.
04:25And that's amazing.
04:26Yeah.
04:26I mean, now to hear the way you tell your story and to be reflected in the creation of Tiger Stripes makes even more sense, right?
04:35To feel that, oh, I don't want to give too much away about the movie because in case you haven't seen it, you need to watch it.
04:39It's on Netflix.
04:40But the fact that you built this, well, I felt this empathy and sympathy for the monster of the film, right?
04:49And you've spoken a little bit about feeling that sense of rejection and feeling setback through your journey before becoming a filmmaker and even as a filmmaker.
04:59What was the hardest moment in that journey and how did that shape the artistic vision that you have now?
05:06I think it was never fitting in.
05:08It was like, and also even like, you know, when I was in film school, studying film, there's, you know, when you're younger, there's a certain type of film you want to make or a certain type of filmmaker you want to be.
05:19And I tried so hard to be all those things and I couldn't.
05:23And I think it was just to overcome that idea and start listening to myself and start finding my own voice and believing in it and trusting in it and kind of just going like, yeah, I'm just going to do what I want to do and, you know, tell my personality and tell myself on the screen, which is very much, I think, how I approach filmmaking now.
05:45When did that moment happen?
05:47It's quite late, like, I think like, like late 20s.
05:51Yeah, around there, like, yeah, in my late 20s.
05:53Well into studying film already.
05:55Studying, already started working.
05:57I remember I was working in the film industry and I was like terrified of directing short films and suddenly it all clicked.
06:04I think when I moved back here and it was like, I've been back here for like two, three years and suddenly I was like, oh, I'm just going to try and make this short film.
06:13And suddenly I was just like, it was like a slap in the face.
06:16And I keep telling younger filmmakers that it's like, you just keep trying to listen to yourself, listen to your own voice.
06:23You have to persevere.
06:24One day it will be like, overnight, like it all comes together and then it goes smooth sailing.
06:31You kind of understand who you are and what kind of films you want to make.
06:33That's how it happened for you.
06:34For me, at least.
06:36Yeah.
06:36Wow.
06:37Your films actually are amazing.
06:39I've only watched the one, which is your feature length Tiger Strike, right?
06:43But you often draw from Malaysian folklore featuring entities like, okay, I can't, before we continue, I have to admit.
06:51You don't make names, sis.
06:52Okay.
06:52I can't mention the names of these particular films.
06:54It's like Voldemort, cannot say, right?
06:57Even though I don't consider myself to be a particularly superstitious person, but apparently I've been told if I say it out loud, they'll come look for me at night.
07:04Yeah.
07:05But apparently it's okay for a woman to say it.
07:07So I'm going to say entities like the Fon Tiana and the Fernanggal.
07:12Yeah.
07:13I'm not going to pronounce it the right way.
07:15And yeah, they feature in the stories that you tell.
07:18What draws these mythical creatures to you and you to them to then want to make it into a movie that's more contemporary?
07:26Yeah.
07:27I mean, yeah.
07:28So it's like, well, he met the Pontianak and the Fernanggalan.
07:33I think what draws me to them is because like folklore is so interesting, right?
07:38It's done through, especially in our culture, like oral storytelling.
07:42And I also love that there's so many kind of relations with other folklores around Southeast Asia.
07:49You know, there is a Penanggalan in like so many cultures in our region.
07:54And I'm like, where?
07:55Different things.
07:56Yeah.
07:56With different names.
07:57And I'm like, where does she come from?
07:58Like, why does she exist?
08:00And so I always like to question that.
08:02And of course, I question like why so many of them are women.
08:05So then I look back and I think like, you know, is it a fear of the female body?
08:10Is it a fear of this kind of strength or this rage or this rawness that these characters have?
08:16And then I'm so drawn to them because these are qualities that I find very empowering as a woman and very like unapologetic.
08:25And I think, you know, it's so strong to be unapologetically yourself.
08:29And so it's strong to be unapologetically fierce and kind of fight for your existence.
08:36And so then I turn them into my heroes.
08:39And so then I start telling stories about them.
08:42Watching Tiger Stripes, I don't know whether this is a compliment, but to me, this is a compliment.
08:47Which is that it felt like the Malaysian woman's version of Frankenstein.
08:54It's a creation of a monster that is misunderstood.
08:58And told through the story of a very, very young girl.
09:03Yeah, yeah, definitely.
09:04I mean, I would say it is definitely about a monster that's misunderstood.
09:09The only thing with Frankenstein is it's, you know, a monster created by a man.
09:13Whereas this is not, she is not created by anyone.
09:16She's inherently, the monster inside her is who she is.
09:20So yeah, you need to be clear on that.
09:22Like, no man made this monster.
09:24Yes, yes.
09:25She is her own person.
09:26She is her own, yeah.
09:27You know, before the movie, I didn't even know that there were, there was such a thing as a weird tiger.
09:32Right, yeah.
09:33It was part of my knowledge of folklore.
09:36Yeah.
09:36But it was really exciting to see that brought into the film as well.
09:40Now, your upcoming gothic drama.
09:43Yeah.
09:44That's set in 1930s Malaya, which explores themes like motherhood and postpartum psychosis.
09:51Another aspect of being a woman that sometimes is misunderstood.
09:55Yeah, I think I'm just going to tell the same story over and over again until like everyone gets sick of me.
10:01But yeah, I mean, right now it's in development.
10:04So it's really early days.
10:06But yeah, you've already teased all the things that I normally tease.
10:10Oh, so we're not saying more than that at the moment.
10:12Because right now, still working on it, still doing the script, very early days.
10:18What's your process like when it comes to?
10:20Script writing or...
10:21Creation.
10:22Everything.
10:23Yeah.
10:23I mean, for me, it takes a long time.
10:27I'm not...
10:29I don't like, you know, going in and starting to write a script.
10:33I do something very kind of weird and zen and body-like and very intuitive thing where it takes me about six months to a year to figure out what the heart of the story is.
10:45So it will be like just one sentence that you need to figure out or one question that you want to ask the world, the universe.
10:53And the answer is the film.
10:55So asking this question is so difficult because you're only allowed to ask one question.
11:01And it was the same with Tiger Strikes.
11:02It was like one year of just figuring out what it is that the film is about.
11:07What is that one statement that I want to make?
11:09I know vaguely I want to talk about, let's say, Tiger Strikes, right?
11:12A girl going through puberty and she's labeled as a monster, but actually she's not the monster.
11:17I know that that was the idea.
11:19But what was the heart is the difficult thing.
11:22So that is my process is to figure out this heart that is so emotionally connected to me and emotionally connected to the world.
11:30Once you know that, it's really easy to write the script.
11:34So yeah, with Lotus Feet, I spent the whole of last year figuring it out.
11:39This year I wrote the script.
11:40Oh, that's the title.
11:41Yeah, it's called Lotus Feet at the moment.
11:43And this year, yeah, I wrote the script in like less than two weeks, like 10 days.
11:48Once you get it, it's very easy.
11:50You kind of know.
11:51And that statement carries through with your casting, with your pre-production, even on set when you don't know like what to do or what choices you're making.
12:02You just ask yourself that same statement.
12:04It's like, am I saying this thing?
12:06And even down to the poster, like even Tiger Strikes, that poster that you see, Oh My Key Still, is still related to that one thing that I've figured out like years ago in the writing process.
12:18After speaking to multiple filmmakers, I think it would be safe to say that your process is pretty unique.
12:26Yeah, I don't know.
12:27I mean, I have other filmmakers and they all have a version of that.
12:31Right.
12:31But because I love telling stories in a very intuitive way.
12:37Sometimes I joke like, Oh, I'm like the laziest director.
12:39Like I hate planning, like I hate like, you know, like, Oh, we have to keep going on set and like prep, prep, prep.
12:47I mean, we do our prep.
12:48I do my prep.
12:49But I also love having this kind of spontaneity with directing and creating and kind of listening to your instinct and intuition.
12:59And I would say like, I listen to my body a lot more than my brain.
13:04So when I think like, if you give me time to think, then I start overthinking and then questioning and then analyzing and everything.
13:13But if you don't give me time, I just feel things.
13:15And I'm like, this is the way to go.
13:17They're like, why?
13:17I'm like, I don't know.
13:18It feels right.
13:19So that's how I like kind of, yeah, doing my work.
13:22Wow.
13:23Feelings.
13:23Makes sense when you watch the final product as well.
13:28How do you navigate that balance between authentically representing Malaysian culture and making your stories also accessible to an international audience that will be able to appreciate the story without knowing the cultural significance in many ways?
13:43Yeah.
13:43I mean, I think there's no balance.
13:45I think, you know, the film, I like films that are very culturally specific.
13:49I think it's so important to the more kind of specific to its culture and the kind of more of a microcosm of the world it is, I think, because it's universal because we're all humans.
14:02And we all, if you think about the story universally, we're all humans trying to fit in, trying to connect, trying to find community, trying to find our own little group that, you know, we're accepted in, that we're loved in.
14:15And that's universal everywhere, no matter what language you speak, no matter what culture you are in, whatever you practice in.
14:22Yeah, that's the root of human nature.
14:24And I think stories, you know, a good story inherently all has that.
14:29Right.
14:29Then you just flourish in the culture that you come from, in the culture that, you know, you see it and, you know, you see every day, you see these girls every day, you drive past these schools every day, you see the teachers and, you know, you kind of see the land that you're involved in and that's around you.
14:45So, yeah, that's, for me, there's no balance.
14:48It was just, it's how you should tell stories.
14:50It's your vision.
14:51Yeah.
14:51And it's something that can be appreciated on an emotional level.
14:55Yeah, I think the universal part is the emotional part and then the culturally specific part is, is, is the beautiful world that you're introducing someone to that has never been here, for example.
15:05Yeah.
15:05That makes sense because for a man in his mid-40s to appreciate a movie about a girl going through puberty.
15:14Yeah, like a, like a 12-year-old girl going through puberty, it's like you would never relate to it, but somehow, you know, hopefully you can relate to it as part, some of her emotions.
15:23Yeah, absolutely.
15:24You've done very well for yourself.
15:28I will, I would say that.
15:29What do you think about?
15:31No, it's good.
15:32It's been good.
15:32Yeah, it's been a very nice journey, like very unexpected in a way.
15:38It was kind of like a whole, wow, like, you know, when Tiger Strikes came out in Cannes and then kind of the journey it's had has been very insane.
15:48But, you know, when you're going through a journey, you just ride, ride it.
15:52And I think that's part of the reason why I like, after that whole year of traveling and promoting the film all over the world, I was like, I need to shave my head.
16:01Like, I need to do something because I'm very, you know, I'm a very body person, right?
16:05So, even like the act of like letting go, I'm like, let's shave my head and just have a new era now.
16:13How did that feel?
16:14Oh, amazing.
16:15It was so fun.
16:16Tell me about it.
16:17Yeah.
16:18Now, your short film, right?
16:22One of your short films, It's Easier to Raise Cattle, which is the English translation of the title, premiered at the Venice International Film Festival and received a special mention at the Clément Fara.
16:31I'm probably pronouncing that right.
16:33How did these early successes influence your then career trajectory?
16:38Oh, very much so.
16:40I mean, like, I think that short film itself really kind of was a great, let's say, a little like mini explosion starter to being who I am as a filmmaker today.
16:52I mean, going to Venice is, you know, obviously an A-list festival and you start meeting people.
16:57But it wasn't just Venice, you know, through that, the film got selected in a lot of very prominent short film festivals as well around the world, around Europe.
17:07And I traveled with it.
17:08And, you know, traveling with it is so important because then you start to build your network as well.
17:14And that's really how everything all starts.
17:16Then you start to learn about, you know, the grant system in financing.
17:22You start learning about filmmaker labs.
17:25You start learning about film markets.
17:28You start kind of building a network of filmmakers and producers as well within the region.
17:32And that really kind of kickstarted my career into developing Tiger Stripes as well.
17:39People don't see sometimes when we are sitting in that cinema, watching the movie, how much effort went into creating this work of art that you ultimately see.
17:50Yeah. And it's not even just making the film itself.
17:53It's also, you know, putting yourself in those spaces where, you know, let's say if you're in development, it's to make sure people already know you're making this film and people are already getting excited about it.
18:05And so there's kind of this watch of how this project even progresses.
18:10So when it's, you know, being, let's say, you know, the Hollywood's greenlit or financed to go into production.
18:19And now when you see how far you've come, how does it feel and can you believe where you're at?
18:26Yeah, I mean, I guess because it's, I've always, you know, me and my producer, Fu Feiling, who's the other half of Ghost Girl Pictures.
18:33We kind of took our journey in a very organic, we'll say yes to everything and be really open to everything and be open to listen and be open to learn.
18:45So, so it kind of made sense that everything, it wasn't actually a giant, like from one day we're here and the next day we're up there.
18:53It was a very small, slow, you know, trajectory of building, you know, our knowledge and our network and our kind of understanding of this space of, let's say, yeah, the festival type art house independent film.
19:09Right, right.
19:10Speaking of the films that you make, the one that is probably the most well-known currently is Tiger Stripes, which is your transition from short films to feature length projects.
19:22What were the most significant challenges that you faced during the process of making Tiger Stripes specifically?
19:29I think, well, like I said, it was, it was a very kind of slow building blocks of knowledge and learning.
19:37So it wasn't a scary transition to go from short to feature.
19:42But I always said this, like the most difficult challenge was because of COVID.
19:47Like, I mean, it's such a unique experience, right?
19:49Like all my life as a, you know, young filmmaker dreaming to make my first feature film, I would always tell myself like, oh, it's going to be so terrifying, but you're going to get there.
19:59You're going to be able to have that confidence to tell the story, you know, this whole feature length story.
20:06I would never experience like, oh, we all had to go in lockdown.
20:09We all had to live in a bubble.
20:11We all had to test like three times a day and I would have to check every day, like how many crew is dropping like flies and, and like balancing that and balancing health and safety where it was like such an important thing to do.
20:23So COVID made me so confident in being a director.
20:26I was like, okay, I can direct.
20:28I can't deal with this, like this other thing that no one knew was going to happen.
20:32So it's a very unique experience for me.
20:35And I think in a way, a blessing, but not, but a blessing for my confidence.
20:40Yeah.
20:40Yeah.
20:41Because the entire film was actually shot during.
20:46Yeah.
20:46Yeah.
20:47Yeah.
20:47There's actually one shot, very wide shot where like it's, it's very, like it's a crowded scene, but there is one person we forgot to ask them to take the mask off.
20:57You've also won the Critics Week Grand Prize at the 2023 Cannes Film Festival.
21:03Yeah.
21:04A monumental achievement, some people would say, right?
21:06Yeah.
21:06Can you share your initial reaction to this honour and its impact on your career?
21:10Oh gosh, the initial reaction was like lots of expletive words in my life.
21:16I'm like, what is going on?
21:18Like really unexpected.
21:19I think, you know, winning a prize is not something anyone should ever expect because, you know, I've also been jury, you know, in festivals.
21:27And I know what jury is like.
21:29It's very much taste and luck, but it just so happened at the time.
21:32Who's on the jury at the point.
21:33Yeah.
21:34The jury just really, I guess, really enjoyed the film or saw something in the film.
21:39So, I mean, again, it was so amazing to win and such an honour.
21:44And that does affect your career, you know, like.
21:47Like, and it also kind of puts Malaysia and a Malaysian filmmaker on the map because I don't think a Malaysian film has ever won in Cannes ever.
21:56So, so that was quite special to kind of, you know, be like, hey, we can do it too.
22:02Even though, you know, our film industry, at least in the independent side, you know, is quite small.
22:08But, but I, I see changes.
22:11I, you know, I know that in 2023, there were a lot of independent films coming out.
22:15There was this year, another short film in Malaysia, from Malaysia in Critics Week as well in Cannes.
22:21So, so yeah, things are slowly changing.
22:23Yeah.
22:24Being criticised is such a big part of being in the entertainment field and being a filmmaker.
22:31Yeah.
22:31Who would you consider to be your biggest critic?
22:33Would, would you be your biggest critic?
22:35Oh yeah, of course.
22:36Yeah.
22:36Definitely.
22:37I'm the biggest critic.
22:39Yeah.
22:39That's why it's so hard.
22:41Like, I think, you know, you know, you mentioned a bit about like, you know, I talk about my second feature, but I'm also scared to talk about it because there's so much fear after making the first one.
22:52And I'm like, I don't want to be a one hit wonder.
22:55You know, like you come back and you're like, ah, and then you try to write it and you're like, everything is not good enough.
23:01And you have this bar that is insane because no one else set the bar except you.
23:06Right.
23:06So, of course, I'm like the biggest critic.
23:09Like, everyone else is allowed to critic whatever they want.
23:12And I think that's what I find so beautiful about art is once I put the art there, it's not for me to protect anymore.
23:20It's more it's for the audience to take whatever they want.
23:23Of course, I'll protect my cast, my crew, everyone, the whole team.
23:27Yeah.
23:27But the art itself is for the audience to take it whatever they want to take.
23:32Yes.
23:32Yeah.
23:33Wow.
23:33I was going to say, I'm so looking forward to seeing what's coming, but I don't want to put any more additional pressure.
23:39You're putting on yourself.
23:41But I mean, I'm looking forward to it too.
23:42At least that.
23:43So exciting.
23:45I did want to ask also about the fact that because Tiger Stripes had such a young cast.
23:52Yeah.
23:52The main cast was very young.
23:53Yeah.
23:55Four girls?
23:55Three girls?
23:56Three girls.
23:57Yeah.
23:57Right.
23:57And many a time you hear when it comes to filmmaking, people will say it's the most challenging thing you can do in film.
24:03No, with kids and animals.
24:05I did both.
24:06And one of the characters was both.
24:08Yeah.
24:09A tiger and a child.
24:10Yeah.
24:10So how did you manage to get these performances out of these very young talents?
24:17I mean, we did a lot of prep work for them.
24:20We did a lot of acting classes, acting coaching.
24:24And again, because of pandemic, we would start, you know, doing these acting classes with these girls.
24:31It wasn't just the three girls.
24:32We had a whole group of girls that were hand-selected to go into these workshops.
24:36And we also had a professional acting coach, Bella Rahim, you know, also another, you know, well-known face here locally.
24:43But she was basically, yeah, the kind of leading these acting workshops with these girls.
24:49And then we'll go in lockdown.
24:51And then I'll be like, oh my God, are they going to grow up, like, be good?
24:54And then we come back, we meet each other again, like, okay, no, it's okay.
24:59Like, we do work in film.
25:00We can, like, paint costume and everything.
25:03But we had that time as well to kind of really build the trust within this space.
25:09And to really, like, I really wanted them to have a safe space as well to express themselves.
25:15And I think that was when I really saw how beautiful they were when they kind of, like, broke down all the walls that every girl starts building, actually.
25:23We're all building these walls, especially, I think, young women, you know, with this, like, idea of shame and judgment and guilt and fear, which is also a lot of the themes in the film.
25:34And it was to kind of build a space where we'd break it down.
25:37And because acting is about vulnerability.
25:39It's about showing that heart that you always didn't want anyone to see.
25:44And then that's when the beauty of acting comes out.
25:47And so, yeah, we kind of built a space where they felt safe enough to do that and express themselves in what they really felt.
25:54So that rage, that teenage angst she has, is probably the teenage angst that she also has inside her.
25:59Like, that's partly real, yeah.
26:02Part of it is real.
26:03Part of it is play, yeah.
26:04It made me realise while watching the movie how much, how talented these young actresses are.
26:10Because there are many moments, multiple moments in the movie where there are lingering scenes without dialogue.
26:16Yeah.
26:16And then you get to see the acting come out without the words.
26:21Yeah.
26:21And you did that multiple times.
26:24Yeah.
26:24In this movie.
26:25And now I get a better idea of how you did that.
26:27Yeah, I think they all relate to the themes a lot.
26:30They're also teenage girls themselves.
26:32They also know what bullying is like.
26:34They know what it's like to be left out.
26:35They know all these emotions.
26:37So it's something very relatable to them.
26:39But also at the same time, you know, I want to protect them.
26:41And so it is this coaching that I had to teach them where acting is play.
26:47And so that's why, you know, we did so much work on what acting really is.
26:52And when we went on set, when we say action, it's play.
26:55It's really a make-believe and a fiction.
26:57Yeah.
26:58And thank you for making the film.
27:00I really appreciated it.
27:01Now, Southeast Asian cinema is gaining more international recognition, in part thanks to you as well, because of the work that you've done.
27:10Yet many filmmakers struggle with funding and visibility.
27:14You've talked a little bit about that as well, finding ways to learn how it works behind the scenes.
27:18What structural changes do you think need to happen for this recognition to be more sustainable for the industry?
27:27Like, you've seen a little bit about how it works, right?
27:29Yeah, I mean, I really appreciate how the European financing system works for films.
27:38It's very much, you know, a lot of grants from countries and a lot of either like tax grants or co-production grants.
27:48And I think that's something we can benefit for Southeast Asians is to have co-productions, is to have, you know, our governments valuing co-productions.
27:59I mean, I think it's so great in Malaysia, we, you know, we have government grants, you know, Finas, you know, for films.
28:07But to venture out and to make our cinema more healthy and sustainable is to start thinking about, really start thinking about co-production.
28:16To give our producers more access to films, let's say in Thailand or Singapore or Vietnam or Indonesia, and to be able to work together.
28:25Because I think Singapore started doing it, Philippines has started doing it.
28:29Yeah, let's start working in this way so that we can build a system and a network which is Southeast Asian.
28:36And so, yeah.
28:37It sounds like the talent is ready to do this.
28:40The talent is there, yeah.
28:41It's just that we need the framework.
28:43We need the framework and we need the countries to start talking together.
28:46You know, the film body in Vietnam to start talking to the film body here.
28:50And, yeah, we need more of that instead of being so insular and thinking about, like, just, you know, our own nation.
28:57No, we're part of this ecosystem.
28:58Do you see some of it happening already?
29:00I mean, it's starting to happen.
29:02I mean, Tiger Stripes itself, we have a Singaporean and Indonesian co-producer.
29:08So that has benefited the film a lot, you know, to have a Southeast Asian kind of stronghold with the French co-producers as well.
29:16So with my next film, we'll also kind of think about that, how we start having co-productions again.
29:23There's a lot of films, independent films that are starting to do that, that has really benefited.
29:28Yeah.
29:28Yeah.
29:28Yeah.
29:29And based on the productions and movies that you've made, you've been helming almost every aspect of the creation of the movie.
29:37You direct it.
29:39You write the script.
29:40You also are involved in every aspect.
29:43Yeah, of course.
29:44Would there be a point where you would be more willing to, do you see yourself in the future, taking on one of the roles and relinquishing part of the creative process?
29:54Well, I think if you're a director, you can't relinquish any process.
29:57You are there all the way through.
30:00Right.
30:01Maybe not the writing part.
30:03Because I know...
30:04You said it's so big.
30:05Yeah.
30:06So, with so much hesitation.
30:08My dream is to really, is to actually not write, because you, you know, I've already shared how long it takes me to write, how difficult it is to squeeze this thing out of my body, like, give birth to it, literally.
30:20But it's tough to find scripts and writers.
30:25Right now, I'm yet to find my dream writer that really gets me.
30:30And so, I'm like, okay, if I can't find the scripts out there, I have to make it.
30:34I have to make it for myself.
30:35Yeah, I have yet to find a writer that I'm, like, really connected to.
30:40And the collaboration is there.
30:43And so, you know, they can write the work while I'm, let's say, shooting a film.
30:48And then, once it's done, we can kind of work together on that.
30:51So, I don't have to be alone on this.
30:54Because I don't like being alone.
30:55I think that's why I love directing it, because I love the collaboration.
30:58But the writing process is...
31:00It's a very lonely process.
31:01Yeah.
31:02So, I have to, yeah.
31:03But, yeah, you have to write the things you want to direct for now.
31:07So, yeah.
31:07When you are in that process, right?
31:11When you're actually making the movie and you're also writing the movie.
31:16People, I'm sure people understand that there are...
31:19People have to...
31:20You have to rework it as you go along.
31:21Yeah, of course.
31:22You're always, yeah, developing and changing it, yeah.
31:25Along with sometimes whoever that's on set.
31:28How much of it is a collaboration for you at that point?
31:30Full collaboration for me.
31:32Like, I...
31:33Again, another thing I always say, I'm so lazy because I let everyone else do everything.
31:37But, I mean, what I mean is, like, let's say, you know, I have a DOP.
31:41That person is going to know how to shoot something, how to frame something way better than I do.
31:47Because that is what they're good at.
31:49They're the best in their field in that.
31:51Or, you know, like a costume designer or a production designer.
31:54These people are experts in their field.
31:56I'm not an expert.
31:57So, what I do is how do you communicate?
32:00I think a director, their job, and they need to be an expert at communication.
32:05Right.
32:05I need to communicate what's in here, what's in here to them and see how they relate to it and how they can execute, like, that feeling.
32:13So, I think that's really the job of a director.
32:16You're communicating even to your cast.
32:17You're communicating to your heads of department.
32:20You're also using a different language each time in how you communicate.
32:24I think that's our skill is we're very good communicators.
32:27And that's all we need to do.
32:30You make it when you swing it down to the right.
32:33But the communication is key.
32:35Right.
32:36And, you know, I've said it over and over again how much I appreciated Tiger Stripes.
32:40I'm sure I'm not the only person who has told you that I've enjoyed your work.
32:45What are some of the best pieces of feedback or appreciation someone has said to you about something that you've created about one of your works?
32:55What comes to mind now?
32:56I mean, in general, I think, you know, just hearing from Southeast Asian women, hearing women from Indonesia, also from Malaysia saying that this was me at school.
33:06I was that kid.
33:08Like, you know, I didn't feel right.
33:10Or, you know, and to see so many women relate to that and understand it.
33:15I think that was really special.
33:16Of course, it was so nice, you know, to have people outside of Southeast Asia relate to the film.
33:22But I think Southeast Asia was one of my, I was the most afraid to show it here because, I mean, this is a Southeast Asian film.
33:28And so, if they are like, yeah, we don't get this, it's totally alien to us.
33:33I'll be like, oh my God, like, this is not, you know, like, of course, yeah, I'll be sad.
33:40But it worked.
33:41I mean, I think Southeast Asian women especially really got it, you know, showing it in these festivals in the region as well was really special.
33:49I think people were very excited to see, you know, a film from this region do so well, you know, in Cannes, for example.
33:57So, bringing it back, it wasn't just Malaysia.
33:59It was the region that was very excited to see what is this film.
34:02I want to check it out.
34:04But another one that I thought was really special that I'll never forget was this girl.
34:09I think she sent me some DM on Instagram saying, like, I watched this when I was studying for my SPM with my sister.
34:15And all we had were, like, loads of stickers and we stuck it on our face.
34:18So, watching the film, and I was like, oh my God, this is a film, like, about you guys too.
34:22Yeah.
34:22Okay, in case you missed the reference.
34:25Yeah.
34:25Because in the movie, there are...
34:27There's loads of stickers.
34:28Stickers on faces.
34:29And studying for exams.
34:31And, yeah, being very girly and girlhood in it, yeah.
34:34Yeah, because it's amazing how much this movie represents.
34:36It represents youth.
34:39It represents change.
34:40It represents Southeast Asia.
34:41It represents feeling different.
34:44It represents becoming something that you're not.
34:49Yeah.
34:49And being comfortable with yourself.
34:51If you haven't...
34:52If anyone hasn't seen this film, I think they should definitely do it because it's available on Netflix.
34:56That's one thing, right?
34:56Yeah.
34:57You know, now being where you're at and all that you've achieved, what guidance would you offer to emerging filmmakers now,
35:04particularly those from Southeast Asia,
35:06who want to tell culturally specific stories like you have?
35:12Be specific.
35:14Be more and more and more specific.
35:16Be more and more specific to also your experiences, to your own voice.
35:22Listen to that.
35:23Really listen to your voice and listen to your instinct.
35:27And I think that's where it starts from.
35:30You know, don't pluck things out of the air.
35:32It has to...
35:33I always feel like something's worth telling if it hurts me inside first,
35:38where I'm like, I feel this heaviness inside me.
35:41Then that's something that's personal already.
35:44And then, yeah, be as specific as possible to what you see around you.
35:48Be okay with feeling the hurt as well as...
35:52Feeling the hurt.
35:52Because with the hurt, there's also joy and this pain and this anger,
35:56but there's also celebration at the same time.
35:59Emotion.
35:59Wow, yeah.
36:00We're coming now to the rapid-fire question part of this.
36:05We're going to ask you the questions and whatever comes to mind first.
36:09It could change...
36:10Don't swear.
36:13We'll have our bleeper ready.
36:15Okay, first question.
36:17What's the last film that made you cry?
36:20Okay, film would be Flo, the animation about the cat.
36:24Yeah, I love cats.
36:26So, yeah, 100%.
36:27I think I cried from 10 minutes of the film until the end, non-stop.
36:33Wow.
36:34Okay, next rapid-fire question.
36:35What's the best piece of advice you've ever received that you think of now?
36:39Best piece of advice is, what are you trying to do,
36:42trying to tell a story when you should listen to your body?
36:45If you could adapt any book into a film, what would it be?
36:51Recently, I've been reading a lot of stories by Eliza Clark, this writer.
36:58I think she's like a young, new hip writer.
37:01I love her work, so maybe one of her stories.
37:04Yeah, I mean, her characters are just nasty, and they're all women.
37:09And I love characters who are women, and they're nasty, and selfish, and weird, and complicated.
37:15What's a film genre you'd love to explore, but haven't yet?
37:19Okay, so I usually say I'm not a big fan of sci-fi,
37:25just because it's, you know, I mean, it's weird because I love horror.
37:29And horror is known to be a very male-dominated genre,
37:32but it's, of course, changing a lot.
37:35And sci-fi, I always kind of related it to a very male genre.
37:38But recently, I did watch this anime called
37:41dead dead demons
37:43DDD destruction
37:45okay
37:46oh my god
37:47like finally
37:48it's a sci-fi
37:49that I relate to
37:50and so beautifully done
37:52like I'm so obsessed
37:53with it
37:54like right after
37:54I finished the anime
37:55I went to Kinokuniya
37:56and I bought like
37:57all the entire manga set
37:58and yeah
37:59I'm devouring it
38:00so sci-fi
38:02would be a genre
38:03that I finally decided
38:04I want to play with
38:05yeah
38:06another thing to look for
38:07I hope that happens too
38:08yeah
38:08what scares you more
38:11Ghosts
38:12Or censorship
38:13Censorship
38:14Ghosts are my friends
38:17Okay
38:18What's one film
38:20You wish you had directed
38:22Yeah
38:24The Substance
38:25Oh my god
38:25Yeah
38:26Like 100%
38:27Like I mean
38:27Yeah
38:28I wish I made that film
38:29Because it's
38:29It's so disgustingly beautiful
38:31Yeah
38:32Okay final question for you
38:33Which is our
38:35Question we ask
38:36Of all of our guests
38:36Who join us
38:37If you had the opportunity
38:38To make one change
38:40As Prime Minister of Malaysia
38:42For a day
38:43What would it be
38:45And why
38:46For a day
38:47For a day
38:48That means you make this change
38:49And you can just drop it
38:50And leave
38:50Oh no
38:51Like no censorship
38:53Of course
38:53Easily
38:54Thank you so much
38:57For joining us
38:58It's been great
38:59Hearing your point of view
39:01On not just film
39:03But just kind of
39:04How humans treat
39:06Other humans
39:07In a way
39:08How to be a human
39:09How to be a human
39:09Be a delicious monster
39:12We look forward
39:15To seeing your
39:15Upcoming project
39:16Which
39:17Thank you
39:17All we know so far
39:18Is the title
39:19Yeah
39:19Which is
39:21Lotus Feet
39:22But it might change
39:23It might change
39:24Okay
39:24Possibly this
39:25Maybe something else
39:26We appreciate you so much
39:28Thank you
39:29Amanda for joining us
39:30Here today
39:30Thank you
39:31And of course
39:32You stay tuned with us
39:34Here on Life Confessions
39:35For that next guest
39:36Who will be joining us
39:37Who will be hopefully
39:38As amazing
39:39As you've been
39:40Thanks
39:40To see you
39:45As
39:59Things
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