Comedian Adam Ferrara on The John DeBella Show

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00The star of the new film, Little Italy, for some reason it takes place in Canada, is joining us this morning.

00:25And you're playing this music.

00:26Well, yeah, it deserves it.

00:27Why don't you just be throwing a pizza when I come in here?

00:29Well, that's what you do in a movie.

00:30That's true, yeah, but it's good to see you, Polly.

00:33How are you?

00:33It is very good to see you, too.

00:35Nice to be back.

00:36All right.

00:36So how are things?

00:38Things are great.

00:39Adam is in a new film called Little Italy.

00:41Yes.

00:42Which you told us about the last time you called me in.

00:44Yeah, we did a press tour.

00:45I called you.

00:45Well, last time I called in was when you were going to the Super Bowl.

00:49No, no, no.

00:50It was the time in between.

00:51It was the time in between?

00:52Yeah.

00:52I remember the Super Bowl one because being a Jets fan, I was like, thank you, and I have

00:56to warn you.

00:57Because there was, remember that crap?

00:58He hurt his hand.

00:59Right.

01:00No, he didn't.

01:00No.

01:01He's never going to die, and if he is, just drive a wooden stake through his heart to make

01:05sure because it's just the depression.

01:08But then when you guys won the Super Bowl and the guy ate the horse crap, and I was like,

01:14I forgot about that.

01:14Oh, I got to get this out of my system.

01:16I don't know.

01:17Because look, man, I've been excited, and I've been hungry at the same time.

01:23And I've been drunk all three.

01:24I never looked at a horse after he's done like, you finished?

01:28Can I have that?

01:30You've obviously had the carrots.

01:31So, yes, and I think that's the last, I think it was the last time.

01:37And they greased the poles so you wouldn't climb stuff, and you guys are sitting there

01:43going, oh, that's just a challenge.

01:46You don't scare me.

01:48So, yeah, I think that was the last, or I think I called him to plug the movie after

01:52that.

01:52The movie is fun.

01:54Yeah, it's a nice family movie.

01:55We shot it in Canada.

01:56It's like Romeo and Juliet with two boring pizza families.

02:00I learned how to throw pizza, which was nice.

02:03And I realized, because Toronto's such an international city.

02:05You were the dough family, right?

02:06No, I was the sauce people.

02:07Oh, you were the sauce people?

02:08Okay.

02:08Animale.

02:10Look at you.

02:11Yeah, it was Romeo and Juliet, and I was Lord Capulet.

02:14I was Emma Roberts' father.

02:16Right.

02:16We shot it in Canada, and it's such an international city that they have all this weird fusion food.

02:21Right.

02:22I don't think there's any rules for what fusion should be, because we were shooting this barbecue

02:26scene, and they went to these local restaurants, and we had Mexican-Korean.

02:31What?

02:31Yeah.

02:32There's a reason those countries are separated by an ocean.

02:35There was a lot going on in that taco, man.

02:38There was kimchi and Mexican spice.

02:41I'm like, wow.

02:42And I think it was North Korea, because I passed a missile.

02:45I swear.

02:46You hate that.

02:48There's no next way you're saying that, man.

02:50I have to ask how the dog is, because the album cover is...

02:56Me and my dog.

02:57You and your dog, both with the collar of shame on it.

02:59Yeah.

03:00Well, she had the surgery, and the name of the album is called Unconditional, Sometimes

03:03Love is a Pain in the Ass, because I had to wear a cone when my dog had a cone, because

03:07I didn't want her to feel upset, because she was shamed.

03:09And so I was walking around, you know my wife?

03:12Yeah.

03:12Yeah, wow.

03:12She was afraid the dog's going to be emotionally scarred, because my wife, she's a hippie.

03:17It's 2018.

03:18Yeah, I know.

03:19Dogs have feelings, too.

03:20Well, we know the dog, the heat was getting to her body, because the dog's acupuncturist

03:26told us that.

03:27I'm not making it up.

03:29I am not making this up.

03:31The dog has an acupuncturist, because she comes and gets the heat out of the body, and

03:35then the eye went bad, and she got glaucoma, but what happened was, I try to fix stuff,

03:43because I'm codependent and Catholic, so I got a lot of problems.

03:46You know, he's dead, my fault.

03:48That's the way I started life.

03:51So I'm trying to take care of everybody, so I couldn't, when the dog started going blind,

03:55I was like, you know, I couldn't fix it, and my heart's breaking.

03:57My wife took little bells and safety pinned them to the back of her jeans, and walks around

04:01the house.

04:02My sister-in-law does the exact same thing.

04:03Here's the bells, and her tail's wagging, and I'm like, I don't know if she feels the

04:07compassion coming from another being, or it's the weed, because she's got glaucoma, and

04:13weed, in California, we got weed biscuits.

04:16You go to the dispensary, you know, my dog is sick.

04:18Take these, dude.

04:19And the dog chews the weed, and is following around the house.

04:22My wife is tinkerbelling around the house, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, and the dog is

04:25high behind her, like, wow, wow, wow, yippee-ah, yippee-ah, walking around the

04:31house, happy as can be.

04:33I put her on the album, because with pictures with the cones.

04:36And that's the album.

04:37That's how you sell the album now.

04:39It's an access card.

04:40I know.

04:41If you can't, this is great radio.

04:42This is how you say it.

04:43Look at this.

04:44So it's just a regular access card.

04:46You don't sell albums anymore.

04:47I know you're thinking, how am I going to clean my weed on that?

04:49Right, exactly.

04:50Well, but it's good for blow.

04:52Yeah.

04:52Oh, my gosh.

04:54Because you remember, we were kids.

04:56You're like, you know, you kids with the vape.

04:57Look at you.

04:58We had to pick out seeds and stems.

05:01We had to work for it.

05:02You can just go to a dispensary.

05:06You know, oh, I can't sleep.

05:08Take this.

05:08Breathe this in.

05:09We had to go to some creep's basement and make believe your friends.

05:13Listen to an Emerson Lake and Palmer album.

05:16Admire his homemade taxidermy.

05:18Oh, you stuff this yourself?

05:20Oh, God.

05:21The eyes are so real.

05:24You know what?

05:25The thing that you guys don't get is how close to real what he's saying is.

05:28It smells like grandma's basement.

05:31He hasn't showered in a while.

05:33And he's got a wallet with a chain on it.

05:35There's nothing in the wallet.

05:36There's six bucks and a picture of his motorcycle.

05:38It doesn't work.

05:42But it's true.

05:44It was always that creepy guy and you always went down in the basement and you always made

05:47like you were his friend.

05:48Yeah, I had to make believe you were his friend.

05:50No, really.

05:50And he had the black light with the posters from Spencer's Gifts.

05:55You know, the black light now you use in a hotel room to see like all the human stains

05:59that you're living with.

06:00This guy had one down there ahead of the curb.

06:04Right, right, right.

06:05And a Hendrix poster.

06:06Yeah, a Hendrix poster.

06:10And Japanese throwing stars sticking out of the wall.

06:14And you were afraid he was going to ask you to stand against the outline, dude.

06:17No, I'm getting better.

06:19Can I get a nickel bag and go home?

06:24Yeah.

06:25I just don't see you as, you know, a pot smoker.

06:31I don't see you as a druggy in any way.

06:33I'm not, as far as you know.

06:35I mean, I'm not.

06:36I can't even take the medicine that's good for me.

06:38I mean, the ADD.

06:39It's raging today.

06:39Did you notice?

06:41Because I can't take, when it first came out, they gave me the Adderall.

06:44Right, right.

06:44Because it's counterintuitive.

06:45But it does work for ADD.

06:47But it's speed.

06:48I mean, it's not at its expense.

06:50It was $125 for a prescription.

06:52And the doctor said, I said, what is this?

06:54He goes, it's amphetamine sulfate.

06:56I can go to Port Authority and get a bag of whites for $30.

07:00What is this?

07:01So I took it.

07:02And it does work.

07:03But it's speed.

07:04I can't be on speed.

07:05I don't understand why you would take somebody who is hyper already and give them more hyper.

07:10I don't know.

07:10But it works.

07:11Caffeine kind of works, too, a little bit.

07:13It just, I don't know why.

07:14And I had it before anyone knew what ADD was.

07:17You know, the cure when I was a kid.

07:18You had to be first.

07:19Yes.

07:20And before it was trendy.

07:22When I had it, sit down!

07:24That's the way it was dealt with then.

07:28Now there's a name for it.

07:31You know what I always found interesting is that you're a guy who, I mean, you've had so much time doing Top Gear.

07:37Yeah, yeah.

07:38Right?

07:38All right.

07:39But when you live in New York, you don't have a car, do you?

07:42Well, I grew up on Long Island, so I grew up in the suburbs.

07:44Oh, okay.

07:44So I had a car.

07:45All right.

07:45And cars were important.

07:46You know, now it's like, you know, the biggest thing in a car now is, can I get on the internet?

07:50Right.

07:51You get in a car to get away from that stuff.

07:53You know, I like to drive.

07:54I play Vegas, so every time I go to Vegas...

07:57You're kidding.

07:57You take the drive from LA?

07:58I drive.

07:59Really?

07:59I just did a thing for Shelby.

08:01The Shelby Museum is in Vegas, and they said, we'll fly you in, and I went, or send me a

08:07Shelby to drive.

08:08So they gave me a new Mustang.

08:10I was happy as anything.

08:11See, this is why I hate you.

08:13Why?

08:13Because you get to drive all of the cars that I dream of driving.

08:17Yes.

08:18All right.

08:19Yes.

08:20That's good.

08:21You have a Super Bowl trophy.

08:22Shut up.

08:22The John DiBella Show.

08:25You guys are all gigantic losers.

08:27Classic Rock.

08:28102.9 MGK.

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