Comedian Mo Mandel on The John DeBella Show

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00Joining us once again, well, I'm saying once again like he's been here on a regular basis.

00:18Last time he was here was 2013.

00:21Did we say something?

00:22Mo Mandel is here.

00:25You should know spiritually I've never left.

00:27Oh, that's nice.

00:28I've been here every morning with my chakras with you guys, so yeah.

00:35So what, you get up at 3 o'clock in the morning out in L.A. to make sure that you're listening?

00:38Again, spiritually I get up.

00:40I would say physically I'm very much asleep.

00:43No, it is nice to be back.

00:44I recognize your mustache.

00:46So you're still rocking that look?

00:48Yeah, yeah.

00:48Well, it's been there since 67.

00:49No sense in changing it now.

00:50There's no sense in taking it out now.

00:52What if you took it off on your life change in amazing ways?

00:54Right.

00:55Wow.

00:56Is there any reality where you cut off the Hannibal mustache and all of a sudden you're

01:00like, you can slam dunk?

01:02Or you always know the lottery numbers?

01:04Right, right, right.

01:05You know, you get an extra inch down there.

01:07What if that mustache, which you have stuck with, has been keeping you back all these years?

01:11You know, I never thought of it that way.

01:13For the lottery, yeah, not a problem.

01:14I mean, for a number of things, that inch, bah, well, you know.

01:17Yeah, I mean, at a certain point.

01:18This is like a crappy take.

01:19At this age.

01:21At this age.

01:21It's like, you know.

01:22When you're talking with nine inches, you can spare one.

01:24Am I right?

01:25Fellas, high fives all around.

01:27Uh-huh.

01:27Some of the ladies, high fives.

01:29Nothing.

01:30Speaking of down there.

01:31Now, look at this straight.

01:32We saw a picture of you and some woman in a podcast that you're doing, and this woman

01:36is your girlfriend, and your girlfriend is a urologist.

01:39Yeah.

01:39Right, right.

01:40And that's not how we met, by the way.

01:41I want to make that clear.

01:42Okay.

01:43Just so people know.

01:44All right.

01:45And she's smoking hot.

01:47Very good looking, yeah.

01:48I thought I backtracked in my search history.

01:50Yeah.

01:50It was like, you know, off hours.

01:52Sexy doctor, eh?

01:54I've seen that video.

01:55Yeah.

01:56Exactly.

01:56So I do this podcast with my girlfriend, Dr. Ashley Winter.

02:00It's called The Full Release.

02:02And it's like Loveline.

02:05Although, I'm going to have to murder her, because she was on Dr. Drew's podcast yesterday.

02:09And this is how she plugged me.

02:11Yeah, I do a podcast with my boyfriend, who's a comedian.

02:14Great plug.

02:16Wow.

02:17Now all we have to do is Google boyfriend comedian podcast.

02:21It's wonderfully done, babe.

02:23Great work on sharing that Dr. Drew fan base with me.

02:29Yeah.

02:30So where are you originally from?

02:31Because you live in L.A. now.

02:32Yeah, I live in northern.

02:33I was from northern California.

02:34Oh, really?

02:35You're a real Californian?

02:36Boonville, California is the town.

02:38Boonville.

02:39Yeah.

02:39Is it still there?

02:40It's still, yeah.

02:41It was wiped out in the meth fire of 86.

02:44No.

02:45Yeah, it's still there.

02:46Actually, my parents still live in the house I was born in.

02:48Oh, wow.

02:49Yeah.

02:49Okay.

02:50Now you were born at home?

02:51Home birth.

02:52Yeah.

02:52No doctor.

02:53Came out on my own.

02:55Really?

02:55Because I don't take any orders.

02:56You know, I decide when I do things.

03:00But actually, there really wasn't a doctor, because we grew up in this teeny little dirt road,

03:03and they were always getting flooded out or whatever, and the doctor or whatever that

03:07day couldn't get there.

03:08So we had a, I think it's called a doula.

03:10We had like a midwife.

03:11Okay.

03:11Yeah.

03:11All right.

03:12I love the way Dave's shaking his head.

03:14Oh, yeah.

03:14Yeah.

03:14He was re-

03:15I live in Quakertown.

03:15We know all about this stuff.

03:16Oh, really?

03:17I'm backwards.

03:17Is that a Quaker thing?

03:19No.

03:19It's big time.

03:20I have a great Quaker story.

03:22This is a, one time I was doing some gig out in Lancaster.

03:25Okay.

03:25And I got a flat tire, and the guy comes in, you know, whatever, his rental car, so I'm

03:31like, I'm going to change this myself.

03:32You know what I mean?

03:32Okay.

03:32So I got somebody to come change it.

03:34This guy comes out there, and he's saying all these very racist things about Quakers, like just

03:38really going on and on and on, and I don't know anything about Quakers, because I'm from,

03:42you know, I don't, unless you, you know, how would I know who a Quaker is really?

03:44So I'm just sort of like not saying anything, just sort of like, all right, I'm going to

03:47let this kind of racist guy do his Quaker rant, and then his big closer is, yeah, they're

03:53even worse than the Jews.

03:55I was like, dude, you're holding my ID.

03:58Like, you clock the name.

04:01Your name's very inconspicuous.

04:02Mo Mandel, clock the name, dude.

04:05And it was like, it was like a perfect example of like that old thing where like, they came

04:10for them, and I said nothing.

04:12They came for them, and I said nothing, and then they came for me.

04:14I was like, oh, that's real.

04:16Okay.

04:17They came to change my tire, and I said nothing, because I wanted to get to Perkins and get

04:23it.

04:24Weren't you engaged the last time you were here?

04:27No, I was never engaged.

04:28I've never been engaged.

04:28You've never been engaged?

04:29No.

04:30See, that's that mustache getting at you, you know?

04:32I got a shaver.

04:33You're probably right.

04:34I was, that's so funny.

04:35I was probably saying I was going to be, because 2013, I was right when I was four

04:38years into another relationship, yeah.

04:40Oh, okay.

04:40All right, all right.

04:41So what was that?

04:41But then I realized, I need someone to get me some Viagra, so I upgraded to a urologist.

04:47Now, yeah, I had a girlfriend for four and a half years, and then we broke up, and I

04:52was single for three years, just hardcore doing the apps and the Zoloft, and that comes

04:59with them.

04:59And, yeah, then I met this, I never would have thought I would date someone who has

05:05a real job, you know?

05:07Or more, I should say, I never thought someone with that kind of a job would date me.

05:11You know what I mean?

05:11Because if you go to medical school for 48 years, why are you like, I need to find myself

05:15someone who does comedy at 1 a.m.

05:18And eats chicken wings, because they're free, and the club, you know what I mean?

05:22Like, it's just a weird, terrible decision on her part, but I mean, you know, at this

05:25point, you know, things seem to be working, so she may be stuck with me.

05:28Now, Steve told me that you're a gamer.

05:31I do some video games, yeah.

05:32All right, well, that probably has to be with you, because you're on the road.

05:35Yeah.

05:35All right, all right, so what's your game?

05:36And I'm like, God forbid I accomplish things.

05:41Do you have a game of choice?

05:42I mean, I've always liked, like, my old school favorite game is Gears of War, you know?

05:47Always people know that I'm going back a little bit.

05:49And then the new Red Dead Redemption, I'm digging that.

05:52Are you online gaming?

05:54No, I pretty much just play by myself.

05:55Just by yourself?

05:56Yeah, I'm an antisocial guy.

05:57All right, all right.

05:58Although, I have so many friends who tell me to do it.

06:00I don't know why, I just haven't really, like, I don't know.

06:02Well, the time of day, I mean, more than likely, it's what you're doing to kill time.

06:06That's what comics do all the time.

06:08You know, they get over a city, I don't really know about it, they sit in a room and out of

06:11the watch, dollars, you know, or game.

06:13If you're online gaming, you're just going to run into little kids.

06:16Right, well, that's exactly, like, and I do a bit about that, where, like, you meet

06:20little kids and they just trash you, and then you're just, like, getting, like, you're

06:24losing a trash-talking battle to, like, an eight-year-old, you know?

06:27Like, because I had this kid who was, uh...

06:29You stink!

06:30Yeah, well, like, they're even meaner than that.

06:32Like, I had this kid who was just, like, trash me, and I was like, dude, where's your

06:34mom?

06:35And he goes, dude, where's your wife?

06:38I was like, dude, I just crushed my soul.

06:41Like, that's, like, a certain kind of immaturity when you're losing a video game to a kid and

06:46then also losing an argument with a kid, you know?

06:49You're like, ugh.

06:50I just became an uncle, too, and so I'm, like, a little untrustworthy of this baby, because

06:55through video games, I do know how mean kids can be, so he's probably got, like, three months

07:00until he's a real prick.

07:03Mo Mandel is our guest, and he will be appearing at Punchline Philly.

07:07There's one show tonight at 8 o'clock, one tomorrow at 7.30.

07:10You gotta get an early night.

07:11I have to get a, you know, I have to go around and get cheesesteaks.

07:13Okay, that's it.

07:14You know, or...

07:15Isn't it annoying that everyone that comes to Philly is like, Rocky and cheesesteaks,

07:19huh?

07:19That's what you guys do here.

07:21I get it.

07:22Most of the city would agree with that, too, though.

07:24Yeah.

07:24I will say there's, like, 400 cheesesteak restaurants around my hotel.

07:28Really?

07:28This is this necessary, huh?

07:30Embrace them.

07:30Yeah, I mean, we embrace the cheesecake, we embrace the pretzel, you know, we embrace Rocky.

07:35What got me was, is one of our newspapers, the Daily News here in Philadelphia, they

07:40said, you know, they had a magazine section, right?

07:42And they decided to call the section, Yo.

07:46Yo?

07:47Yo.

07:48With an exclamation point, like Jeb's campaign.

07:50Right, right.

07:51Yo.

07:52And I'm like, yeah, that really proves our intelligence right there.

07:55Well, I love when it was that you guys had John Kroc and Pete Incavillia, that old-school

08:00Phillies team where it was like, you couldn't...

08:02I mean, I love that team.

08:04Beer and Dingers.

08:05Yeah, you could not have, like, a less classy bunch of delegates for your city than these,

08:10like, just shoes.

08:12And such great shape.

08:14They're all just like, what?

08:16These guys aren't just, like, local guys working at, like, a Jiffy Lube?

08:19These guys are athletes?

08:21Oh, that was my favorite team.

08:22Was it Pete Incavillia, John Kroc, Mitch Williams, right?

08:26Nails.

08:27You know what?

08:27He's serving, like, 40 years in jail now or something like that.

08:30Yeah, Wild Thing.

08:31Hell yeah, man.

08:31They were great, dude.

08:32They're the current GOP ticket, right?

08:34Wait for it.

08:35Wait for it.

08:42Wait for it.

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