Comedian Moshe Kasher on The John DeBella Show

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00Would you please welcome, Moshe Kasher!

00:16Alright, called me a gentleman, I see you haven't seen my comedy.

00:23No, but I have seen your wife, I didn't realize it.

00:26Wait, what do you mean you've seen my wife?

00:28In what state?

00:29On TV.

00:30Oh, okay.

00:31I didn't realize that you were married to Natasha Lagaro.

00:34Yeah, yeah.

00:35Now, how does Moshe...

00:38You know, I don't like where this question is going already.

00:41Get an Italian girl and get her to convert.

00:46Well, Jews are just Italians with worse food.

00:49Isn't that known?

00:50I thought that was known.

00:52And the way that I got her to convert was I forced her.

00:55I see.

00:57Like the good Jew that you are.

00:58That's right.

01:00No, she was ready to exit the Catholic school program that she had grown up with, and I

01:05provided an alternative.

01:07Was it a theological thing?

01:10Was it a philosophical thing?

01:12Yeah, she's a deeply devout Jew at this point.

01:14Well, I've noticed over the years that the worst Jews are the converted ones.

01:20They are just...

01:21They'll drive you crazy.

01:22Oh.

01:23They drive Jews crazy.

01:24Which is very difficult to do.

01:26You know, to annoy a Jew is a truly...

01:28That is something.

01:30No, you know, hey, I'm very lucky that she chose to do that with my extreme suggestions.

01:37And now here we are.

01:40And you have a new baby, don't you?

01:42Yeah, we brought a new Jew into the world.

01:43A new Jew into the world.

01:45All right.

01:46Well, we don't do missionary work, so you have to create a squad of your own.

01:51All right.

01:52Now, did you go with the circumcised type, or did you go with the...

01:54Oh, she's a girl.

01:56She's a girl.

01:56So, yeah.

01:57We went for it.

01:59Yeah.

01:59I just wanted to make...

02:01I wanted to ask...

02:02You know, I grew up in a very Italian slash Jewish neighborhood.

02:08Maybe they were Italian or Jewish, there was nobody else around.

02:10Okay.

02:11One Irish guy showed up, he says, no way, there's no bars.

02:13All right.

02:13So, but one of the things they always used to throw in my face is, ha ha, you got hell,

02:18we don't have hell.

02:19Oh, no hell.

02:20No, but hell, we brought hell to earth in the form of our mothers.

02:24I see.

02:25I see.

02:26We bring hell in real time.

02:28Yeah.

02:28This is really cool.

02:30It feels like eternity.

02:31That's all.

02:33So, what is life...

02:34This is your first child.

02:35What is life with a newborn like?

02:39It's incredibly easy.

02:41Primarily, it's easy to be a parent.

02:43Everybody knows that.

02:44A lot of people ask you, they go, like, how are you sleeping?

02:47And it's like, it's so...

02:48I don't even understand the question.

02:49It's so easy to sleep with a newborn.

02:51Here's what you do.

02:52You go to sleep at night.

02:53If at some point in the night the baby begins to cry, the lady who sleeps next to you

02:57goes and takes care of the baby.

02:58And then you sleep in, you go surfing with your buddies.

03:00It's really cool.

03:05Are you...

03:06Do you find yourself becoming a doting parent?

03:08Are you there with the bottles and the...

03:10Oh, yeah.

03:11No, I love her.

03:12She's great.

03:13She's great.

03:13My wife is great.

03:15No, it's very sweet.

03:17It's a very sweet experience.

03:19You know, she's starting to crawl and stuff like that.

03:21She's starting to take over the various zones of our house.

03:24So, you know...

03:24Yeah, no, I'm a doting.

03:26I'm a doting.

03:27I'm a doting father.

03:28But, you know, the show is X-rated.

03:29So, don't expect that you're going to get me...

03:31I feel like I'm coming across like Dr. Phil up here.

03:35But, no, I...

03:36But I will say that, you know, in the beginning, you know, you have to feed babies all the time,

03:44you know, and I don't...

03:46I'm not like a natural-born parent like some people are, and so my wife would always come

03:51into the room and I would be feeding the baby, but I would have, like, World Star Hip-Hop

03:54fight compilation videos.

03:56Like, she would be hearing these, like, you know, screaming Waffle House fights and be

04:00like, what is happening?

04:01And this, like, innocent little child, I'm, like, you know, rocking her back and forth

04:05while I'm watching these, like, horrible violent videos.

04:07She's like, somehow that's getting in the baby's brain.

04:09Don't do that anymore.

04:10Your kid's first word is going to be yelling, World Star!

04:14Now, you're originally from New York, but you, basically, you're really from Oakland.

04:24I'm from Oakland, yes, yes, yes.

04:26A classic Oakland guy.

04:27All right, all right.

04:28And you had a baseball question, didn't you?

04:30I did.

04:30Well, I said, I'm sorry about the baseball game the other night.

04:32And I said, I don't know what baseball is.

04:35Take a look at me.

04:37Analyze who you're talking to right now.

04:39But I assumed that the baseball squad lost, and I, it was great.

04:44They were dispatched by a team called the Yankees.

04:46Oh, I've heard of them.

04:47Okay.

04:48That's right.

04:48Yes, yes.

04:49The old, the old, uh, the old, uh, Bronx, uh, Bombers.

04:54Bombers.

04:54Yeah.

04:54Those, those guys, huh?

04:55Mickey Mantle or something.

04:57Yeah, it's a homerun reference.

04:58Oh, man.

04:58They're still playing.

04:59Mantle.

04:59You can't get past the, oh, yeah, the babe.

05:02Yeah, baby, baby, baby Ruth.

05:04Can't get past the candy bar of baseball.

05:06You know, that's what they say.

05:08Did you grow up, you know, liking sports at all?

05:11And being in New York, did you, I guess, go to basketball or anything?

05:13He left New York when he was nine months old.

05:14Yeah, that's right.

05:15Oh, I wasn't.

05:16I'm sorry.

05:16I missed that.

05:16Never mind.

05:17Well, growing up in New York until you were nine months old, did you like basketball?

05:20I loved basketball.

05:22But, uh, junior squad, junior squad.

05:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:24Um, uh, do I like sports?

05:26Is that what you're asking?

05:27I just, I figured, growing up in New York, but I didn't realize you left.

05:29What is the answer to that question that will get people to come to my show?

05:32Uh, I love the Eagles.

05:33Yeah, do an Eagles chant.

05:34I love the Eagles, baby.

05:35Eagles.

05:36I love the dance.

05:37I love the, oh, man, I love the, they soar through the sky like the freedom that we so enjoy

05:44here in this, in this land.

05:45Eagle, Eagle, Eagle, baby.

05:49Yeah, Sam.

05:50Wise Sam.

05:52Wise Sam.

05:54That was two years ago.

05:55Oh.

05:55You do understand what sport they play.

05:58The Eagles are a football team.

06:01They're a football team.

06:02And wait a minute.

06:02They won the Super Bowl.

06:04Yeah!

06:04I believe my cab driver told me that on the way here.

06:08Fairly certain your show's just sold out.

06:10Yes.

06:12No, actually, this is true.

06:13The entire team is coming to all of the shows.

06:17All four?

06:18All four of the shows.

06:19Wow.

06:19So if you come to any of the shows, you'll be able to meet and greet with the Eagles after

06:23the show.

06:24And Gritty's doing security.

06:25Yeah, it's good.

06:26So, I mean, look, they asked me not to say anything, but I just couldn't, I couldn't.

06:30Cats out of the bag.

06:31Yeah, Eagles out of the bag, you guys.

06:33John DiBella.

06:34One crazy ass genius.

06:35Classic Rock.

06:37102.9 MGK.

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