Peep Show: Should I Tell My Lady About Her Mustache

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask the Lord Vader mug a question for a listener. The man says his wife has started growing some peach fuzz on her lip and he wants to know how he should tell her, if he should at all.

Transcript

00:00This is Darth Vader breathing.

00:27Yes, just so you know.

00:28It's not me.

00:29Everyone's aware.

00:29It's not Andy.

00:30It's not any of us here.

00:32It's Vader.

00:33My wife is the sweetest little thing.

00:38She's so easygoing.

00:40She can be real bitchy at times, but never to me.

00:43Anyway, we've been trying to get pregnant.

00:45So she's been taking these new pills.

00:49And all of a sudden, her upper lip has started growing hair.

00:57Good.

00:59Wow.

01:00Should I let her know or let her find out?

01:05What does she not know on her own?

01:07Wait a second.

01:07You're saying that she does not have any idea that she's growing a stash?

01:12That's what this says.

01:13That's why he's asking Vader.

01:15How can she not know?

01:16Oh, come on now.

01:20The emperor loves him.

01:21Oh, my God.

01:22It's probably his powers.

01:23Yeah.

01:24I was going to say, who cares about the peach fuzz?

01:25Don't get pregnant.

01:26That's what Vader would tell you how to do.

01:27Oh, yeah.

01:28Back out.

01:30Back out.

01:30Oh, my God.

01:32He's morphing into Chuck the Freak.

01:35Oh, more than him like to know, man.

01:37He told me the other day.

01:39He was like, hey, man, I just appreciate, like, you know, you trying to give me the heads

01:43up and all that way back in the day.

01:46I just want you to know you were right.

01:49Come on.

01:49In so many words.

01:51Yikes.

01:52In so many words, I did.

01:53Yeah.

01:53I've seen it.

01:54Yep.

01:54So, does he tell his lady she's growing a mustache or does she, as Lisa said, I don't

02:03know how you don't, unless it's super light and she can't see it, but he can.

02:07I feel like as a guy, you can't tell someone that they have a stache.

02:12I would assume it would be dark.

02:13It can't be just light.

02:15Yeah.

02:16I would assume it has to have some.

02:17Okay.

02:17Let's say you were with a lady, Jason.

02:20Okay.

02:20Let's say you're with a lady and she starts to grow a little something up there.

02:25Mm-hmm.

02:26Would you eventually say, hey, would you mind getting rid of that?

02:32Ah.

02:33Even though, so you lean in for a kiss and you're, like, starting to get grossed out.

02:37I think that's how I would do it.

02:39It would be a kiss and then I'd make a reaction like, you know.

02:43Something got me.

02:43It tickled me.

02:44Something got me.

02:44And she's like, what's wrong?

02:46It's like, ah, I don't know.

02:47Something tickled me.

02:49And then maybe that would lead to her.

02:52I went in point blank to say, you got a bunch of hair growing on your face.

02:56That's it.

02:58I don't know about that.

02:59It's Desi.

02:59He could get her one of those magnifying mirrors that I, like, I have.

03:04Oh, yeah, yeah.

03:05No, yeah.

03:05Stella has one, like, it's, you know, for her makeup or whatever, where it zooms way in.

03:11And it's, like, intense one that, and give that to her for Christmas and then she'll look in it

03:16and she'll see, maybe, though.

03:17Oh, that's a good idea.

03:18That's a way to avoid ever having to deal with it.

03:20Eh, just wax her while she's sleeping.

03:22Oh, my God.

03:23Do not listen to Albeck.

03:25No, don't do that.

03:26Yes.

03:27Wax your lady while she's sleeping.

03:30I don't think as a guy you can say it.

03:33I don't think you can.

03:34All right, well, let's see what Vader.

03:35He asked Vader.

03:36Oh, yeah.

03:36She should know.

03:37I'm troubled by the fact your woman doesn't know.

03:39Doesn't know.

03:40Should he tell his lady she's growing a stash, Lord Vader?

03:44Yes or no?

03:45Oh, let's see.

03:48No.

03:49No, you shouldn't.

03:51No, even Vader knows.

03:52Even Vader knows you can't talk about your lady's stash.

03:55I think once you tell a woman she has a mustache that you don't enjoy, it's pretty tough to

04:01get back in the sack.

04:02Yeah.

04:03You've got a mustache I don't enjoy?

04:05You know?

04:06Imagine saying that to someone.

04:07I can't.

04:08And that's just unfortunate.

04:10And he should strap in because there's a whole lot more changes coming if she gets

04:13from her.

04:14You know what I mean?

04:15Yeah.

04:16I'm working with Chuck from back in the day.

04:20No, I'm just saying.

04:21There's hormones.

04:22You know?

04:22Yeah.

04:23The body changes a lot.

04:24So here's going to pop up in places you never thought it would.

04:27Yeah.

04:28Yeah.

04:28All sorts of changes.

04:30He said that we ended up in the hospital last night for something separate and it really

04:36was visible in that hospital lighting.

04:38Oh, yeah.

04:39That hospital lighting's brutal.

04:41Fluorescent lighting.

04:42She looked like Tom Selleck.

04:44I can't hide anything.

04:47Oh, no.

04:53It is.

04:54Take Tom Selleck to the hospital.

04:57Yeah.

04:58Let me just play this for her whenever she gets in the car.

05:01Hey.

05:02Hey, babe.

05:03I don't know why I'm thinking this every time you come into the house.

05:07I don't know.

05:09I'm kind of attracted to this mustache.

05:14That thing is spectacular.

05:18Yeah, man.

05:19I just don't think you can say it's not your job as a man who's with a woman to comment on

05:28their, you just hope to God they have it all under control.

05:31Some women would say, why didn't you tell me?

05:34Yeah.

05:35Right?

05:35And I would say, you know why I didn't tell you?

05:38Because I enjoy you.

05:41I don't want to be the one.

05:42I'll let you figure that out.

05:44I think Lisa's right.

05:45You get the high-powered mirror, maybe one with the lights on the side.

05:49Yeah, that's what I have.

05:49Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:50I have the lights and everything.

05:52And that way, when they look to the side, they'll get that sheen.

05:56Yeah.

05:56That, like, almost blinding light.

05:59If he has a mustache, he can make out with her and then be like, ooh, her mustache has got

06:03entangled.

06:04Yeah.

06:04I almost put, like, a little strip of Velcro on mine and then get stuck to her.

06:10Like, I don't know what happened.

06:11I had a piece of Velcro.

06:12See?

06:13I'm going to stash you a question.

06:14I mean, uh...

06:15Oh, no.

06:18Oh, get her a spa day.

06:21Okay.

06:21They'll probably do it.

06:23A facial?

06:23A facial would do it.

06:24They would catch it.

06:25I was going to say, if you go, is there anything you can go to that they just take care of any

06:31kind of peach fuzz?

06:32Yeah.

06:33Okay.

06:34So, if you do that.

06:35Yeah, like a facial would.

06:36A facial would.

06:37They have a thing.

06:38They take all, any kind of...

06:40I'll be honest, I feel like that's safer, especially for Christmas, than even getting that mirror.

06:44Yeah, that's true.

06:45I like that idea.

06:46It's funny it doesn't go both ways, because women would be the first to tell a guy about

06:50anything, right?

06:50Oh, like my ear hair?

06:51Oh, yeah.

06:52For sure.

06:52I was like, oh, my God, look at that nose hair.

06:54Look at the length of it.

06:55Look at you.

06:56They don't care.

06:57I would say shave.

06:58Because.

06:59Are you going to shave today?

07:00Shave.

07:01No, because you could say anything to us.

07:04It's more acceptable for a man to have hair, I guess.

07:05I also think no matter how badly you make fun of us, or how badly you put us down, we are

07:11still willing to make out with you, to go to bed, and do all the stuff.

07:17Right.

07:18Because we're dumb.

07:19Even if your mustache is tickling my balls.

07:22Exactly.

07:22You can tell me, oh, wow, time to take care of that unibrow.

07:25I'm still like, I'm not going to put you in a category of like, well, I'm going to,

07:31there's no sex for a week.

07:32But a woman having a mustache is, you know, that's different.

07:35It's hard.

07:35This guy said, I would just put on my big boy pants and say, I thought you'd want to take

07:40care of it because you're such a beautiful woman, and I want you to always know that.

07:44God, that sounds condescending.

07:46But it sounds like, wow, what a good thought in his brain.

07:49Don't let your brain betray you.

07:51That's one of the dumbest things you could ever do.

07:53Like, do not do that.

07:54You can think, oh, I'm going to just be the knight in shining armor here.

07:58And no.

08:00Gift card.

08:01Facial.

08:02They're going to take care of it.

08:04Magnum's in the other room.

08:06You give her the gift card.

08:09Give Tom Selleck the gift card.

08:11This is my woman, Tom Selleck.

08:14They're like, oh, my God.

08:16Yeah, please sit down.

08:19Oh, you got a mustache.

08:21You got to clip that down.

08:23Yeah, that's probably your best bet there.

08:25Christmas facial, a holiday deal.

08:28Now's the time.

08:29Like, honestly, now's the time.

08:31It's the perfect time.

08:32It is.

08:32It's the perfect time of year for your lady to grow a stash.

08:35It is.

08:36Because you can get it taken care of without any suspicion.

08:39So good luck.

08:40Let us know how it goes, whatever you do.

08:42If you ever want to reach us, you always can.

08:43Email at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com or text us for 6969.

08:466969.

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