Peep Show: Blood Farts

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in China who was fired from his job for spending up to 6 hours a day in the bathroom. Then, they discuss the fear of hemorrhoids and hear some disturbing listener experiences involving blood.

Transcript

00:00A man in China has been fired for taking up to six hours in the toilet every day during

00:14his eight-hour work shift.

00:15See, James, I told you.

00:17You were right.

00:18I didn't think you'd be able to do it.

00:19Yeah, I told you.

00:21You can do it.

00:22If Chuck wasn't on the air, he might be able to pull this off.

00:27Potty break.

00:2820 minutes, they start looking for you.

00:29Yeah.

00:29Yes, I was wrong.

00:30Yep.

00:30The Chinese court recently ruled that the daily toilet breaks the man surnamed Wang were

00:35taking were not within reasonable and normal needs, even though he cited some body concerns

00:43as his reason for them.

00:46Right.

00:46I do my best work there.

00:48The local media outlet reported the employee had surgery due to an anorectal problem several

00:56years ago.

00:57Ooh.

00:57Are you okay, Wang?

01:01No, he's not.

01:02He's not okay.

01:03It sounds pretty bad.

01:05No, he's not.

01:07Man spends six hours in the bathroom.

01:09You okay in there, Wang?

01:10No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:13You have an anal problem.

01:16I have an anal problem.

01:19No.

01:20No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:23Maybe you should find a different gig or something.

01:26Ooh.

01:29I mean, do you think he's in there?

01:31I think he might be in there because he has to be in there.

01:35yeah it sounds like it's starting to lean that way i thought he was just a genius who was just

01:40avoiding work but if your life is six hours on the toilet at work that's a nightmare to me i'm

01:48not like you guys file for something i just like to get in and out i don't linger you guys linger

01:53i can't imagine spending six hours it takes six hours at least get might as well get paid to do

01:57it to be honest the only time i would ever linger is like i would linger the longest when i worked

02:02at the factory because it was just like you didn't want to go back yeah i linger the longest when i

02:09know the child is awake and the wife is home yeah yeah a lot of dads i have to go poop so i'm sorry

02:15i will be back in 45 minutes 45 minutes it's many a man's you know layer i'm just the fear of getting

02:25hemorrhoids sticks with me so often that i never linger you have hemorrhoid fears he does he put

02:31them in my head he's gonna get them one day least i am not he's got the roidophobia

02:36he's gonna get them his butthole's not gonna last forever oh well you've had them no i'm not i've

02:42had them and i've i kind of i know my limit now like i know okay i'm coming up close better get

02:49wiping yeah the hemorrhoids is knocking on the door i got i got a little guy banging on the back door

02:55time to get out of here yeah that's one fear i don't have time for his hemorrhoid well okay well

03:00that's good i don't know he put it in my head and i've heard horrible stories about them and how

03:04painful they are that it's funny though but i've heard like a lot of different things like i remember

03:08when i was like a painter kid and stuff like it's like sitting on cement like you know like and not

03:15a chair you got to watch that you gotta watch a whole bunch of different things but it's lingering

03:20coming on the toilet or pushing too hard yeah but it's coming for you dave it's not coming for me

03:24not everyone gets hemorrhoids does everyone let's find out does everyone eventually get a

03:30hemorrhoid how i don't think so many i think they do people get hemorrhoids good luck yeah

03:40yeah that's fine it's close enough wow one in 20 americans yeah so not everybody i think they have

03:47we're really uh really kicking the average there chuck and i yeah we are oh this one says between 20

03:52and 50 percent that's more accurate uh someone said i got hemorrhoids last year and then got addicted

03:58to those preparation h suppositories oh god don't knock until you try it what you just shove

04:06something up there to cool it down used one of those i've never used one of those i think that's

04:11just a pervert texting it yeah i think so too because they come right up i think he liked putting

04:15them in what do they they could unlock something in that gentleman i didn't even know they had

04:20relieves painful burning itching and swelling so you shove it up there to calm the the wildfires i

04:26guess of your ass well yeah the tube has a little applicator too in case you need to oh do you suffer

04:32too oh man i've talked about it yeah you know that's why i think these numbers are off and that's

04:38why i'm like okay so the guy who's in the most shape out of all of us his b-hole has even failed

04:44him it's coming for you it has and it's never been easier to treat there's nothing to be afraid that's

04:48right exactly you're so positive about it you should be like a positive guy with hemorrhoid

04:52motivational speaker i currently don't have any but i mean i actually was thinking of becoming a high

05:00school motivational speaker about it but that's well jason's already could do it yeah okay listen to this

05:06fear the roids he says uh-huh 50 year old guy it's like i have my period all the time

05:12what he bleeds out can i tell you he needs to add some fiber to his diet go see a medical

05:19professional sir maybe lay off the cheese he's losing like a pint of blood a day or something

05:24yeah it's just you blood flies out of your butt well if they burst they if they're open they burst oh

05:30yeah someone said i had one burst and it bled right through my pants oh my god that's embarrassing

05:35that's a dead giveaway i'll tell you that hey chuck dude that's really embarrassing um i don't know

05:40how to say this i can see your ass blood oh i can feel it because uh it feels like uh faucets on

05:47in my b-hole right now so yeah thanks for the heads up but uh yeah because you think they would

05:54just be like yes i've had a hemorrhoid burst yeah thanks like what else are you saying somebody

06:00confronting you yeah don't confront anyone well i i understand you see that that's from my ass

06:07because i had a hemorrhoid burst thank you for noticing but after you ridiculed the asian man

06:15for taking time on the toilet and not getting to work

06:19i thought i'd just sit here in a pool of my own blood

06:23that's no good that is a bad day i don't know what would have to be going on back there

06:33for me to wave the white flag and say i'm gonna spread my cheeks in front of a room of people

06:41for them to finally do something to help well it's obviously you don't have it as bad this is what i'm

06:47saying like how bad must it be at that point well they've probably waited because there's a lot

06:55of blood farts coming in oh my god blood farts

06:58don't swear yeah i'm just giving you a heads up yeah i hope it never happens chuck's talking

07:06about how bad it could get to me a blood fart pretty bad that's like a jean-claude van damme movie

07:11i would see that one blood farts yeah it might be my money makes later it's all the splits

07:18yeah it's a lesser known cause of hemorrhoids yeah too many splits yeah i think yeah just don't sit

07:31on the toilet too long don't strain just make sure you're eating some fiber keeping it nice and

07:36flowing just and you're gonna be okay you know get after it early early treatment yeah early

07:42all this horrible yeah he's so right hemorrhoid motivational speaker jason watson hey okay now

07:48listen don't be afraid i do i know hemorrhoids are something that we all fear hemorrhoids are

07:53your friend right jason well they're not your friend but they don't have to be your enemy there

07:57you go hemorrhoids are a friend of mine hemorrhoids don't have to be your enemy that's what he says

08:03they don't deny your friend but they don't have to be your enemy yeah you know what's my enemy two

08:06words blood farts okay yeah when they go wrong they seem to go really wrong someone said it's

08:12the real reason some men wear maxi pets blood farts yeah i mean that makes more sense than just

08:19whatever grease yeah yeah it's picturing a woman's feminine hygiene commercial that's targeted towards

08:25men to for the prevention of blood farts jason starring jason watson i've had all the male anal

08:31blood i can handle for one day let's move on to something else

08:34you

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