Peep Show: Worst Thing Said Before Sex

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share the worst things people have said to them before sex. Hemorrhoids, a fear of finale stuff and the deepest voice we've ever heard on the show are some highlights.

Transcript

00:00All right, a man with a self-proclaimed micropenis is going viral after revealing how he breaks

00:12the news about his minuscule manhood to potential sex partners.

00:17My manhood is quite minuscule.

00:21My manhood.

00:22I'll get into this in a second.

00:23I want to know from you, what's the worst thing someone has said to you before sex?

00:26Like, I've got a micropenis, ladies, is probably the worst, one of the worst things you could hear.

00:33This anonymous teacher divulged his techniques for broaching the uncomfortable subject.

00:41He says, I've experienced many awkward, embarrassing situations.

00:46He has an adult micropenis defined by the Cleveland Clinic as a member that measures 3.67 inches

00:55or less when fully erect.

00:59That's all you're going to get out of him, maximum wise.

01:02Yeah, I know how that goes.

01:03He claims his is only a quarter of an inch while flaccid.

01:11You couldn't even see it.

01:13What's he, a quarter of an inch?

01:15A quarter of an inch while flaccid is what he claims.

01:19How's he take it out?

01:20How do you take it out?

01:27Like, you just pull your pants down and wave his laughs.

01:29Unfortunately, like, there is, like, a size that, like, it has to be in order to do the actual act.

01:38You know what I mean?

01:42Yeah.

01:43Like, if it's just a nubbin, then it's just a rubbin.

01:48That rhymed.

01:49He said that before.

01:50I've said it so many times.

01:52That's how I break the news.

01:54That's how I break the news to somebody.

01:56It's new to me.

01:58Probably the first time I've heard it.

02:00You're probably pretty lucky.

02:01If it's just a nubbin, it's just a rubbin.

02:06Yeah, it's probably, you probably consider yourself lucky you never heard that.

02:11It's the worst nursery rhyme you can be told.

02:16I'm no Dr. Seuss.

02:22Yeah.

02:24Ah, shoot.

02:26Ah, goodness.

02:27Yep.

02:27Dr. Seussicide over here.

02:29Yeah, my God.

02:30I've never heard that one before.

02:33God, rhymed.

02:35It's like you've said it hundreds of times.

02:40Yep.

02:41You figured it out.

02:42Old Captain Nubbin over here.

02:45My God, I've never even heard anything close to that.

02:49It's terrible.

02:51Amanda's with us.

02:52Hi, Amanda.

02:53How are you?

02:54Good.

02:54How are you?

02:56Worst thing said before sex?

02:57Um, so it wasn't really like before, but it would have definitely saved me some time.

03:03Um, uh, this guy I met, he, we were in the middle of doing the deed and I was working at

03:10this restaurant and while we're in the middle of it, he goes, yeah, I've seen you working

03:14at restaurant and I was like, that's so weird to say while you're inside of me.

03:19Oh my God.

03:21Yeah, I see you working at that restaurant, huh?

03:23How's that going for you?

03:25I was like, are you sure it was me though?

03:27Because there's a girl who also works there that I guess people confuse us.

03:30Oh, that's so awkward.

03:33Let me pull it out.

03:34Oh my God.

03:34Did he get the right girl?

03:36It's not the time to have a conversation about work.

03:38Oh wait, that year not Susie?

03:40I really don't want to talk about this right now.

03:42It's so bizarre.

03:44Yeah.

03:44Great waffles, I gotta tell you.

03:46I love the waffles you guys.

03:48What's your hours?

03:49How much?

03:52What?

03:53I guess.

03:53Thanks.

03:55All right, Amanda.

03:56Thanks for calling it in.

03:57I just get busy at lunchtime.

03:58He just doesn't, is he just like the worst sex talker ever?

04:02He just, it's all small talk?

04:04It's strange.

04:05Yeah, I've seen you at that restaurant.

04:06With like a little bit of a dirty twinge to it, like.

04:09Yeah, he's trying to be dirty.

04:10Yeah, exactly.

04:12What's your soup of the day?

04:14Exactly.

04:15Yeah.

04:17Tell me about the specials.

04:19I don't know if it was a man or a woman that said this.

04:22Okay.

04:23But the worst thing said to one of our listeners before sex,

04:25don't mind the hemorrhoid, the doctor wouldn't chop it off.

04:31That was a man who said that.

04:33I'm just going to say that.

04:35Well, where would a lady would be going?

04:38I don't know.

04:40Behind him?

04:40Maybe not.

04:42I don't know.

04:43I'll tell you what could ruin the day.

04:48Hey!

04:49Oh, no.

04:50Oh!

04:52Oh, no.

04:52Doggy, I, listen.

04:55It's totally her.

04:56It's my favorite position, but, uh, just to let you know.

05:02Don't mind the hemorrhoid.

05:06Yeah.

05:07Put this little leaf over top of it.

05:09The doctor wouldn't cut it off.

05:11He won't lance it.

05:13I asked him to.

05:14I'm waiting.

05:15I tied a string around it.

05:16I told him.

05:17No one's going back there.

05:22Wow.

05:23Goodness gracious.

05:24That is bad news.

05:26Let's go to Brad.

05:28Hello, Brad.

05:29Good morning.

05:30Light, blitz eyes.

05:32Like a dog.

05:34What is the worst thing someone said to you before sex?

05:38That I'm afraid of semen.

05:41Oh, my.

05:42Ah!

05:43Ah!

05:47Ah!

05:47They run out of the room screaming and crying.

05:52Oh, my God.

05:53How do you react to that?

05:55I go, what do you, what do you mean?

05:57I can't see it, can't touch it, can't be near it.

06:00If you kaboom boom into a condom, I gotta be, can't see and take it and do with it what

06:05you gotta do with it.

06:06All right, deal.

06:07That's not too bad.

06:08Yeah, deal.

06:08I mean, yeah, that's fine.

06:10I'll take with it and do with it what I must.

06:12But, now, this is a little off, but if you, when you put it into the trash, this has nothing

06:18to do with that, but the dog.

06:19Oh, no.

06:21More dog stuff.

06:22Man, we know dogs get in the trash cans today, huh?

06:25Jesus.

06:26Good Lord.

06:28Voice changing technology.

06:31Hello, Anonymous.

06:33Hey, hey.

06:34How are you?

06:35I'm good.

06:38I was calling it because the worst thing I've ever been told before.

06:42The worst thing was to keep my black guy voice down.

06:46She covered my mouth, and she looked at me, and she said, keep the black guy voice down.

06:51Keep your black guy voice down.

06:53Keep your black guy voice down.

06:55I couldn't believe it.

06:56Wow.

06:57I've never encountered with voice changing technology.

07:00You have the deepest voice we've ever heard.

07:02It's the deepest voice in the history of the show.

07:04That's right.

07:05What, sir?

07:05What did she say, sir?

07:08Keep my black voice down.

07:10I'm sorry, sir.

07:10We're having a hard time.

07:12I'm not talking about black voice down.

07:13No, it's still, if you could maybe raise your pitch a bit.

07:16This is as high as I can call it.

07:18This is, no, I'm not, I'm not understanding.

07:20This is it.

07:21It's the lowest tone it's ever recorded on radio.

07:23I know it really is.

07:25And you take him, and you put him in voice changing technology?

07:28I was not ready for it.

07:29It was almost like.

07:30We can't go lower.

07:31I saw the system almost.

07:34I saw it almost crashing and smoking.

07:38We can't go any lower than any lower.

07:41It was lower than that.

07:45It was lower than that.

07:48Sorry, dude.

07:49You broke our voice changing technology.

07:51Yeah, my God.

07:54Ah, goodness.

07:55But I guess that could shut it down.

07:58I mean, it's not a nice thing to say.

08:01It's not a nice thing to say.

08:02It's not great.

08:03It's not a nice thing to say.

08:04It's not a nice thing to say.

08:05It's not a nice thing to say.

08:06It's not a nice thing to say.

08:07It's not a nice thing to say.

08:08It's not a nice thing to say.

08:09It's not a nice thing to say.

08:10It's not a nice thing to say.

08:11It's not a nice thing to say.

08:12It's not a nice thing to say.

08:13It's not a nice thing to say.

08:14It's not a nice thing to say.

08:15It's not a nice thing to say.

08:16It's not a nice thing to say.

08:17It's not a nice thing to say.

08:18It's not a nice thing to say.

08:19It's not a nice thing to say.

08:20It's not a nice thing to say.

08:21It's not a nice thing to say.

08:22It's not a nice thing to say.

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