Crocodile Andy

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a gigantic huntsman spider that was seen in Australia which spawns the creation of a parody movie starring Andy as 'Crocodile Andy'.

Transcript

00:00is this the biggest spider ever and this will terrify you a giant angry huntsman spider yeah

00:14terrified a family in their home it's got a name doesn't it it does have a name aragog

00:22aragog what is aragog aragog is the name of this thing i'll show you the picture yeah look at it

00:28look at the size of that thing right there it's bigger than a dinner plate that thing doesn't

00:32even look like a huntsman spider it like looks even more terrifying i'd move out of that house i

00:39would move out of the country that's enough australia for me aragog's here aragog just

00:46moved in i just don't even like knowing that i mean and that's imagine some of the stuff that's

00:51out there that we don't even know man i'm so glad you weren't born in australia i couldn't i would

00:56have ended it a long time ago yeah crocodile andy would never know crocodile andy i'd be like well

01:03there's a crocodile right there and uh that's the uh plane i'm taking the hell out of here

01:07watch as i approach the plane watch as i get out of australia because of aragog and company

01:16crocodile andy would be a totally different movie shorter yeah way shorter be like yeah there's me

01:23in the bush there screaming for my life terrified a young australian man decides he has to get the

01:32hell out of australia has anybody else seen these spiders here i've got to get out of this place

01:38the problem is he's got no money i have zero dollars if anybody can help me out with a plane

01:44ticket i'd really appreciate it i saw a spider the size of a dinner plate today doesn't even have a

01:49cell phone i've got no phone no resources at all i've uh just been abandoned by my family out here

01:55in the australian wild and it is frightening will he make it probably not doesn't look like i'm gonna

02:00make it at all here uh i've got no water i haven't drank anything in about uh three days now so very

02:06dehydrated he's australia's most unprepared bushman that's right i don't even have a knife

02:12i don't even have a knife isn't that crazy i have a stick that's got kind of an end to it but it's

02:18not even going to kill one of those spiders there so looking for a plane ticket get me the hell out of

02:23australia no god i don't even know what that is but i am frightened of it i just see you wearing that

02:30outfit too like i found this it was made for a much smaller man

02:37it turns out the crocodile scales uh they stretch a little bit so that that's helped

02:45a lot with this here and the head also too small my hair sticks out of the side of it there

02:52oh my god

02:54crocodile andy

02:57the scene at the end of the movie where he crawls on everybody's head to get to the girl would be

03:03much different too oh yeah yeah i'm like that's not a knife that's a hershey bar

03:08oh i'd watch crocodile andy yeah it'd be a lot funnier it would be the entire movie would be me

03:19trying to get the hell out of australia exactly please somebody help it would be fun just never

03:23seen anything like it drop andy into australia for a few days you'd have to like chloroform me to

03:30get me over there because if you were like we're going to mr tm we'd have to it is actually a great

03:35idea it's honestly it's a great idea for a show it's kind of like you know like on history channel

03:42they do like alone where andy's just in a in an office building and like okay andy we're gonna

03:49chloroform you now and you're like okay okay and then they do it and every week he's just wakes up

03:55somewhere different somewhere different amazing and all they do all we do is like he gets an

04:02envelope he wakes up and he's like oh my god what is this and then we open an envelope and it's like

04:07australia i'm like no no the whole show would be 30 minutes of me screaming no

04:14not just that but it'd be like him walking and then he'd be given all of his random facts that he

04:20knows in his head i was like do you know that the average vitamins that snake in australia can kill

04:26you within 13 seconds i'm pretty sure i just saw about six or seven goddamn box jellyfish if i if i

04:32go anywhere near that water i'm as good as dead i don't know and then like after a week of him just

04:38almost dying we take him out and then we do it all over again in another terrifying place that he

04:45knows everything about again every show would end with me on a stretcher with an ivy and

04:49yeah completely out they might be able to make that show happen because i think ricky gervais has

04:58a show similar to that called idiot abroad oh yeah they yeah they do they do that they put that guy in

05:03all sorts of situations this i want it to be like alone or naked and afraid that's crazy drop andy in

05:09naked naked now you just kicked it out oh no people are already donating to the kickstarter

05:20for the crocodile andy movie yeah well as long as it doesn't actually take place in australia i'll do

05:27it again if you want to see the pictures of that spider uh dave and chuck the freak dot com you can go

05:32check out what aragog looks like

05:34you

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