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Worst Security Guard Ever
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an e-mail from a listener who could have been on the receiving end of a cuckold invitation at the grocery store or had an encounter with the worst security guard ever.
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Fun
Transcript
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00:00
uh one more email here um this guy said huge fan had a strange encounter at the grocery store
00:10
and not sure if i was being hit on or not so anyway i'm looking at the liquor
00:15
guy rolls up with the cart this is the guy who's emailing us by the way and says so what's your
00:22
poison oh don't talk to me here nothing really he says i said am i kind of more of a beer guy
00:29
i'm just looking around i like men that's my poison then he goes a little down the aisle
00:37
and like is now talking louder so where are you from you live around here jesus christ what do
00:43
you do for work don't talk to me business yeah now here's the thing he says i'm a six foot three
00:49
300 pound black guy he was the tiniest little white dude normally i never think anyone ever is hitting
00:55
on me but i walked away from this encounter so weirded out and confused i was just in sweats
01:01
and a hoodie and this dude wanted my life story right there in the liquor aisle was i being was
01:06
i being hit on was this a potential cuckold setup this is bulls on parade right here just wondering
01:12
if it's normal because i definitely didn't feel like it was normal it's either that or he works
01:16
and like loss prevention whatever like he's like undercover oh my god we got a black guy on
01:22
well shit i'm going to send somebody down there god damn it he's in a hoodie he's gonna steal all
01:28
of our liquor hey buddy where are you from hey man hey just didn't tell what's your poison
01:36
why are you talking to me man what's your poison man hey where you going where you live
01:42
what's that what's your address you from around here or just coming in just looking at liquor gonna
01:49
grab some red huh what's going on here i'm gonna just get to the bottom of you
01:57
what's your full name what's your full name and sosh
02:03
what is it case anything goes missing here in the next couple minutes
02:11
i'll track you down son of a bitch
02:13
that is not that's probably they're supposed to do loss prevention
02:19
it's just not he's horrible at it they're not supposed to talk to the people
02:23
he's bad the people aren't even supposed to know they're there if that's the case that guy's the
02:27
worst security guard ever but the like occam's razor of this whole thing is that it was
02:33
loss prevention the easiest thing is the is often the case right right so it's probably a terrible
02:43
loss prevention hey how you doing there what's your name what are you doing in this area
02:51
are you from out of town somewhere you drove in just want to get into the liquor section and just
02:59
the other security guards are in the room watching on camera what is he doing man looks like he's
03:04
talking to him he can't talk to the guy are you in the hennessy what do you want what are you looking
03:09
for he's approaching him in a way he should not he's supposed to be undercover yeah you can't talk
03:17
to the guy what's your address he's really a lot of questions you got a real loose fitting jacket on
03:24
i wonder why that is any pockets in there he's gonna spook the guy man he's never gonna get him
03:30
and of course this guy thinks he's hitting on me exactly that's exactly i was gonna be a part of
03:36
a cuckold yeah this guy wants me to be the bull he's the black chuck the freak of the grocery store
03:41
just assumes he's being hit on i've been listening to dave and chuck too much because it felt like a
03:46
cuckold everything feels like a cuckold after you listen to that show it's crazy but i felt like it
03:53
was a cuckold but nope just complete stereotyping and racism to the core that's exactly right that's
04:03
what it was yikes let's hope that's not what the case was racism and stereotyping my friend you're
04:09
clear you're not being hit on you're being discriminated against oh man yeah that didn't
04:17
even enter this guy's mind no that does seem like it could be a possibility i'd almost guarantee it
04:22
yeah yeah i mean anything could we know anything could be a cuck scenario because i know when i worked
04:29
in a department store we had loss prevention right and the majority of the time they were you
04:33
know they were undercover so they don't say a word they just pretend to be shopping but we had one
04:37
guy who was kind of like that he was horrible and he would always spook the people he was supposed to
04:43
be watching they'd steal and then they'd see him and they'd put it back and take off so they ended up
04:49
catching as many people because this guy was so bad and he's supposed to turn his walkie-talkie down
04:54
he would forget oh man he'd be like hiding behind a shelf watching someone and then you'd hear the
05:01
walkie-talkie go off yeah seriously black guy aisle six oh man i got this goddamn thing turned up
05:09
are you close to the black guy yeah he can hear everything you're saying right now so
05:16
he can hear everything you're saying your eyes on the black guy
05:19
black guy in the liquor i mean actually i guarantee everything's gone there's probably no liquor left
05:26
by now if you're not buying he put everything back so oh yeah you know you're talking to me on the
05:32
walkie-talkie here he heard dude you gotta turn that thing down did you get his address i didn't get
05:37
his address i tried but i blew it i blew my cover oh boy okay get back to the office until we see
05:45
another black guy shut this thing off yeah these bag uh loss prevention guys are probably trying to
05:52
save these people like i don't want to i don't want to bust you i don't want to ruin your life
05:56
just get out of here get out of here while you still can it is crazy this guy's listened to us long
06:01
enough to he completely forgets about discrimination and he's like cuckold baby
06:09
yeah that's a cuckold cuckold someone said oh well the black guy in your story is probably saying oh
06:15
thank god it's just racism that's why i was like dude relax it was just horrible racism you weren't
06:25
being hit on well maybe this guy does it to other people too i mean yeah just depends there
06:31
is a slight chance i guess it was a cuckold there's a slight chance he was hitting on you
06:34
there's a much bigger chance he's just the world's worst security systemic racism
06:37
the worst of us yeah it's horrible but it's out there and you may have just fallen victim to it
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