Like A Rock

Beasley Digital

Dave and Chuck the Freak talk about listeners most embarrassing rescues and one guy had to be saved by a family member when his unit was stuck in his zipper.

Transcript

00:00Jim, good morning.

00:12Hi, Jim.

00:13Hey, CrossFit.

00:15CrossFit.

00:16Tell us about your most embarrassing rescue.

00:19Back when I was a child, I got my unit caught in my zipper,

00:24and I had to have my sister-in-law help me get it out.

00:27Oh, man.

00:29How old were you?

00:31Eight.

00:33Yes, young enough, but still highly embarrassing.

00:37Like, as a grown man, imagine getting your dong stuck in your zipper

00:39and having to have someone like Chuck, you do it, and Lisa's here,

00:42and she has to help you.

00:44Oh, no, no, no.

00:45Yes.

00:46Oh, yes, yes, yes.

00:48Lisa becomes the lady dialer.

00:50He'll pretend that it's stuck in there.

00:51Oh, no.

00:54Every single day, he'll pretend.

00:58Ow!

01:00Those are button flies.

01:04Chuck's daily.

01:07Oh!

01:08Dong stick.

01:09Lisa!

01:12But honestly, could you imagine getting your dick stuck?

01:16As a grown man.

01:17As a grown man.

01:19As a grown man.

01:19And then having to approach a co-worker.

01:22A nearby person.

01:24Oof.

01:26I don't care who it is.

01:27Any one of you.

01:28Like, Lisa, of course, that would be another dynamic, I guess.

01:32But if I was like, Dave, Dave, Dave, my dick is stuck.

01:37You don't want to hear that.

01:38I definitely, those are words I never want to hear.

01:40And you don't want to have to try and help me.

01:42Wouldn't it be more of a scream?

01:43Yeah, you'd be a high-pitched.

01:48I'd hear that.

01:49Oh, Chuck got his dick stuck again.

01:53She would just go running out the door.

01:55We've never seen her.

01:56Lisa, here's a high-pitched scream.

01:58She's like, oh, geez, dick stuck.

01:59Gotta go.

02:00She's not going to be the one.

02:01I'd just shut my office door and hide in there.

02:05Lock myself in.

02:05You could hear it, like, over trees and through woods.

02:10That's the sound of a man with his dick caught in his liquor.

02:15Some wild man would say that.

02:16Yeah.

02:17I know that scream.

02:18I know the scream.

02:20Scream of a man.

02:23Zipper.

02:23Zipper's stuck and his dick is in there.

02:27Zipper was designed by the devil himself.

02:34I don't know what that was.

02:35It sounded like somebody was raping a bird.

02:39Oh, I guess.

02:40Maybe what it sounds like.

02:41I don't know.

02:42I mean, I have no idea.

02:45I'm going to have emergency tools for that.

02:47I don't have emergency dong.

02:48Lisa!

02:49Lisa, get your dong rescue tools!

02:52Lisa's got a whole new kit.

02:53Lisa has it.

02:54She's got a whole new kit.

02:55Hold on, let me get my dong rescue.

02:56The penis box.

02:56Yeah.

02:57Yeah.

03:00Quick, pass them Lisa's penis box.

03:03These are my zipper destroyers, they hear them.

03:05She just hand you it.

03:07You do it yourself.

03:08You do it.

03:08That's your dick.

03:09You do it.

03:11She would have the tools, though.

03:12Lisa, don't look, but I need your penis destroyer or your zipper destroyer.

03:17Penis destroyer.

03:18Don't do that.

03:19Don't do that.

03:19No, no, no.

03:20Not that one.

03:20S-Dog asks you, Chuck, would you rather have something stuck in your butt or something snagged

03:26in your zipper?

03:27Oh, my butt.

03:28My butt can handle almost anything you can throw at it.

03:30You would know.

03:31You could not.

03:32I'm telling you.

03:33It can handle a lot more than the...

03:35It is tough, Lisa.

03:38It's built tough.

03:39It's built tough.

03:41Chuck's butt.

03:41Rock.

03:42But what's more embarrassing...

03:44We'll stand in Arrow's dream.

03:46What's more embarrassing, though, is Chuck the Freak.

03:48Charging through the gate.

03:51That's your butt.

03:51What, your butt sings?

03:55I'm correct.

03:58I'm correct.

04:02Yeah.

04:04You think after you decompose, like, your butthole will just still be there in the last four years?

04:09Absolutely.

04:09Like, oh, my God, it's still there.

04:11Like, this is the 400-year-old butthole of Chuck.

04:14I'm correct.

04:16My hands were steady.

04:23My eyes were clear and bright.

04:26I like my balls of the backup singers.

04:28I walk head purple.

04:30My steps were quick and light.

04:33That high elbow was so tight.

04:35Oh.

04:36What I felt was right.

04:38Like a rock.

04:39Yeah, my butthole song.

04:40Yep.

04:42Chuck's butthole's like a rock.

04:44Like a rock.

04:46Hey.

04:47I was strong as I could be.

04:53Nothing ever got to me.

04:55Nothing ever got to me.

04:58I was something to see.

05:03That's great lyrics.

05:07None of the schemes could get to my butthole.

05:21Chuck's butthole theme song, Like a Rock.

05:23So, yeah, I'm just, you know, like a rock, you know.

05:26Eyes were clear and bright.

05:30My walk had purpose.

05:32My steps were quick and light.

05:34They sure were.

05:36And I held firm.

05:38What I felt was right.

05:40Like a rock.

05:43I was strong as I could be.

05:46Like a rock.

05:47Nothing ever got to me.

05:53He's so tough.

05:55I was something to see.

05:57I was something to see.

05:58I was...

05:59I was like, oh, my God.

06:00I was like, oh, my God.

06:01I was like, oh, my God.

06:02I was like, oh, my God.

06:03I was like, oh, my God.

06:04I was like, oh, my God.

06:05I was like, oh, my God.

06:06I was like, oh, my God.

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