Detroit Official

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share the moments when they realized they were officially Detroiters.

Transcript

00:00we're talking about um when you realized you were officially a detroiter renee when was it for you

00:13oh hi uh penis guys penis penis we love you shahol thank you um i'm from birmingham and we

00:22are notoriously soft in birmingham sure and my husband made me take self-defense lessons

00:28when i started working in detroit okay darling if you're heading downtown you must take self-defense

00:34yes yes self-defense lessons okay um didn't know what good they would do me but we were out to dinner

00:41and some guy grabbed me by the throat and tried to mug me said give me your money

00:46and i broke his arm uh and when he was down on the ground i kicked him you said i'm from birmingham

00:53bitch you just got your arm broken by a birmingham woman good for you

01:07with a lot of makeup on wow thanks holiday what a great story i'm from must take self-defense lovey

01:16i didn't even have to drop my scone

01:18oh there's blood in my burberry scarf

01:23oh thirst and thank you for telling me to take those classes

01:30that's right my dear it was just time

01:33i knew going down to that city would be treacherous

01:36i knew the blacks would get you

01:39oh my

01:43it's very good

01:45birmingham

01:46it's birmingham

01:47the mind of birmingham

01:48the mind of birmingham

01:50birmingham

01:50that's amazing i mean she got taught some good stuff though because

01:55to snap some guy's arm

01:57yeah

01:57is impressive

01:58yeah it is

01:59because i always thought to myself i really i always thought to myself that those

02:02classes were like setting someone up for just a real bad time

02:05yeah robin's taking them and sometimes she'll be like come at me and try to grab my arms

02:09i'll be like okay and i'll do it and she'll be like

02:13get me by the thumb or something and i'm like yeah i can't murphy murphy

02:18that's good they're no joke

02:23yeah

02:23good

02:24well she'll just emerge from the shadows

02:26come on

02:27try to grab my neck

02:28she's dressed like a ninja

02:30try try something on me

02:33dare you

02:35double dog dare you

02:37like

02:38neck snap

02:39uh redneck you're on with dave and chuck the freak good morning

02:44splash

02:45hey morning ribcord

02:47ribcord how did you realize you're officially a detroiter

02:49i got propositioned by a midget hooker

02:51with soleno heels

02:53she's a little black lady

02:54uh-huh

02:55she had leather on

02:56little uh little steel studs sticking out of it

02:59me and my father-in-law she asked me about it

03:01i said no i'm gay

03:02she looked at my father-in-law

03:03my father-in-law was going uh uh uh

03:05i said hey it's just a detroit thing dude

03:07yeah

03:08dave wants to know where she's at

03:10yeah so i can avoid it

03:12jack midget hooker comes up to me

03:15probably accidentally kick her

03:17i would love it

03:19i'd love it if she was after dave

03:23be gone girl

03:25i'd pay i'd pay her like

03:28i'd pay her like a thousand dollars

03:30to just not leave dave alone

03:32no matter how many times

03:35he rejects her

03:37thousand dollars

03:39just don't take no for an answer from this man

03:42she'd do it for a week or two

03:44uh-huh

03:45for a grand

03:45yeah

03:46just stay on him

03:49that's diabolical

03:50no matter what he says

03:52keep advancing

03:53uh this one might watch him

03:55a lot

03:56touch is growing

03:57okay

03:57get away from that little black midget

04:00hooker girl

04:01go

04:02touch is growing

04:04all right so um

04:05the question is

04:06when did you realize

04:07you were officially a detroiter

04:09that's what we want to know here

04:10wendy from chesterfield

04:12how are you

04:12good how are you balls

04:14balls

04:15what was it for you

04:16my car ended up breaking down

04:18at grash it downtown

04:19and i ended up rolling into

04:22literally my car rolled into the gas station

04:24and uh

04:25all these

04:26nice

04:27gentlemen

04:28were surrounding my car

04:29giving us

04:30ladies some nice compliments

04:32and

04:32this older

04:33this older

04:35this older lady

04:37pulled in

04:38and she's like

04:38i can't leave you girls here

04:40they literally ripped me out of my truck

04:42and stole my truck

04:43from this gas station

04:44so she's like

04:45stay here

04:46don't get out of your car

04:47no black ladies

04:48i can't leave you

04:49yeah

04:49i think you'll see

04:50y'all are dead

04:55yeah

04:56yep

04:56yeah you will get those people

04:59that are you know

04:59i think there's uh those

05:01that side of detroit too

05:02which gets less press

05:03obviously

05:03but there's like the good people

05:04that'll save you from the bad

05:05yeah

05:06yeah

05:07there's people that'll help you

05:08yeah that guy at the gas station

05:09was like look at that giant white man

05:11yeah

05:12he's just pumping gas

05:13he's just not a care

05:14not a care in the world

05:15he's probably whistling or humming or something

05:17i think he's whistling

05:17that man is whistling

05:20oh he doesn't even know where he is

05:23hey you know you ain't supposed to be here right

05:26Dave's like washing his windows

05:28with like a squeegee thing

05:30he's squeegeeing his windows

05:31this man is crazy

05:34his windows was clean too

05:37i don't even know why he was squeegeeing

05:39this was clean windows

05:42what's on still

05:45is that the green aces theme

05:49what the hell is that

05:50yes he was nice enough to say

05:57get the hell out of here

05:59yeah

05:59you don't stop here

06:00you don't stop here

06:01but

06:03isn't it

06:04it's on still

06:04when

06:05you but

06:06you

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