Saleem Albela Aur Goga Pisroori Ki Standup Comedy - Hans Hans Kay Mahool Bana Diya - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00 Now, we have a segment, stand-up comedy.

00:01 Wow!

00:04 That's too much.

00:05 So, all of us should stand up.

00:06 I knew that stand-up comedy would happen this week.

00:11 Why?

00:11 Because this week, some people have returned from Australia and New Zealand

00:15 and have brought many stories with them.

00:17 Yes, absolutely. And we thought

00:19 that before they tell us in solitude,

00:22 let's hear it in front of the whole nation.

00:24 Let's make everyone feel it.

00:25 And secondly, they didn't bring chocolates.

00:27 So, let's hear the stories.

00:29 No problem. If they can't bring chocolates,

00:31 and sometimes, people can't bring them,

00:33 I won't listen to anything about them.

00:35 They have found you.

00:38 I think, they have eaten and died.

00:40 How many have you got?

00:42 A lot.

00:44 You can't eat alone. You won't digest it. I am telling you.

00:47 Okay.

00:47 They have eaten alone and digested it.

00:50 That's wrong. Why is there discrimination?

00:53 Why didn't you bring chocolates for us?

00:54 Okay, let's go.

00:55 They have got chocolates.

00:56 Everyone has got perfume like me.

00:58 Perfume?

01:00 Yes.

01:00 Do you think we have got perfume?

01:02 No, I don't think so.

01:04 I had asked for it and it didn't come for me.

01:07 You must have got a bag like they have given me.

01:10 No.

01:10 You didn't get a bag?

01:12 Sir, they have brought a curry for me.

01:14 I asked them to give me curry.

01:15 They said, it's a good curry.

01:16 So, I gave it to them.

01:17 Why did he ask for curry?

01:19 Yes.

01:19 He must have danced in the tram.

01:20 Mr. Haroon, call them. I will ask them why they didn't bring it.

01:23 Yes, I will call them.

01:24 Let's welcome them for stand-up comedy.

01:26 Salim Albela and Goga Pasroori.

01:29 Welcome back.

01:36 Salim, Goga, where are the chocolates?

01:38 You both have brought them.

01:40 I was sleeping in the helicopter.

01:42 You have got a lot of ear wax.

01:45 After the hunt from Australia,

01:48 both the beasts were looking at the birds

01:51 as if there is going to be a huge accident.

01:53 This is coming towards us.

01:56 Oh!

01:57 Goga, I asked you to bring the perfume.

02:01 I messaged you a few times.

02:03 But you didn't reply. Why did you bring it?

02:04 We came to the show, not to the car.

02:06 Mr. Salim, this is a serious question.

02:10 Chocolates..

02:11 Let them go.

02:13 They have come for you.

02:15 So, let them go.

02:16 But.. - I have brought chocolate colour for you.

02:19 We know what is wrong.

02:23 If they had gone for a walk,

02:24 it was fine. They had gone on their own.

02:26 We thought they had spent a lot.

02:28 They have gone to earn and still they didn't bring it.

02:31 You didn't know what had happened with them.

02:33 What?

02:34 Tell us.

02:35 We had a tour.

02:37 We went on a tour.

02:38 Australia, New Zealand, England, Canada.

02:43 Where should we take you for your tour?

02:46 Tour?

02:47 Tour?

02:48 Mr. Salim, tour.

02:50 Tour.

02:50 You are talking about everything.

02:51 Look at his confidence.

02:54 Who will he show it to?

02:57 He has bought New Zealand.

03:01 Mr. Goga, what would you say about your New Zealand tour?

03:05 I will say it was larger than life.

03:08 Wow!

03:11 Wow!

03:12 Like sea, like nature, like penguins.

03:17 The one who has come has respect.

03:22 God has given you respect.

03:24 Okay.

03:24 The city we had been to,

03:26 Stelia,

03:27 he has given us respect.

03:28 Stelia.

03:29 People get respect on tour.

03:32 But they didn't get the tour.

03:34 Are you happy to see kangaroos?

03:37 Kangaroos look at him and say, 'Come on, let's go.'

03:40 'Our uncle is here.'

03:41 Okay.

03:42 Looks like Salim is a kangaroo of New Zealand.

03:45 We had been to many places.

03:48 What?

03:49 We had a flight from Lahore to Karachi.

03:52 Okay.

03:53 When we landed in Karachi,

03:55 we had a stay of six to seven hours.

03:57 Six to seven hours stay in Karachi.

03:59 And he was at the airport

04:01 because he thought it would be difficult to get a visa.

04:04 Our flight was at 7 pm.

04:10 We reached there at 11 pm.

04:11 Okay.

04:12 We went out and there was a visa issue.

04:14 It was a domestic matter.

04:15 Okay.

04:16 He went out.

04:18 We knew that he was going to be a domestic.

04:20 Okay.

04:20 He said, 'Sir, if he doesn't come, I won't come.'

04:23 Believe me, when we got a flight from Lahore to Karachi,

04:30 we had to show our passports.

04:31 We went to the sea.

04:33 Okay.

04:34 He collected three boxes of boxes.

04:36 We enjoyed a lot at the sea.

04:39 And it was night.

04:40 I asked Gokay, 'Gokay, I have a cold.'

04:42 'I can see a little in the waves, but I don't have a cold.'

04:47 Gokay smiled a little and then he realised that he had a cold.

04:49 We had a flight to the Lanka Airlines.

04:53 Okay.

04:53 We..

04:54 We had a flight.

04:57 We were wearing black.

04:58 We were walking with our dogs.

04:59 We had to show our passport and visa.

05:03 We had to board an international flight.

05:05 Okay.

05:05 We all passed by.

05:07 He was the one who got it.

05:08 When Gokay went to get his visa, he said,

05:10 'Go and get it from your country.'

05:15 He fell asleep on his feet.

05:16 I told him to sleep on his pillow.

05:17 He was calling his wife.

05:20 She said, 'Palli, she has pushed me.'

05:22 She said, 'I was talking to Mrs. Gokha.'

05:27 'She pushed my husband.'

05:29 Okay.

05:30 She said, 'No, she is our big officer.'

05:33 'She will tell you when she comes to the airport.'

05:35 'She had gone to pick up the kids from school.'

05:38 Okay.

05:39 'She came after a long time and got three or four flowers.'

05:41 Okay. - God bless.

05:42 Do you remember that she got four flowers?

05:44 She was not an officer in Thailand.

05:46 She was a flower pot of the airport.

05:48 She was a big officer.

05:50 God bless. - God bless.

05:52 She got six flowers.

05:54 She got six flowers.

05:57 Wow.

05:58 She did it. - She did it.

06:00 She was like a star in the movie 'Star'.

06:03 I asked him what the problem was.

06:06 He said, 'This is the problem.'

06:07 I said, 'She is an artist.'

06:08 'Watch her on YouTube.'

06:10 She said, 'I don't watch her on YouTube.'

06:11 'I watch her on YouTube.'

06:12 Okay.

06:14 She was a nice girl. - Okay.

06:15 I said, 'Okay, you can go.'

06:16 'There is no problem.'

06:17 Gokhale, tell me something. - Yes.

06:19 What did you pray for?

06:22 I didn't have to pray.

06:23 I just had to get the food.

06:25 We sat on the side. - Okay.

06:27 I told you about the first seat.

06:29 Gokhale asked the hostess where his seat was.

06:31 She saw his face and turned around.

06:33 You were in the club class.

06:36 You sell clubs?

06:37 Yes, there is a club class ahead.

06:38 We were looking for you in the club and the net.

06:41 Yes.

06:42 We got to Sri Lanka. - Okay.

06:46 We found out that it was a disaster.

06:48 Oh, God!

06:49 We travelled so much for the stage.

06:52 We couldn't even go to the beach.

06:54 You went on a plane. - Yes.

06:56 You spent a lot of time on the plane.

06:58 We used to stay there because we used to meet there.

07:02 We didn't want to take them further.

07:03 We spent eight hours there.

07:08 We used to scold each other.

07:11 Okay. Then?

07:12 He is sitting on the floor. He said, 'It's okay.'

07:15 Wow! - He is like a Punjabi.

07:16 He is like a Punjabi.

07:17 Okay. - The sea..

07:19 I saw it live.

07:21 I enjoyed it a lot.

07:23 He was the one who was pushed back.

07:25 He was left with his feet. - Okay.

07:28 Gokhale said, 'The sea is at your feet, Nala.'

07:30 I think he is narrating an incident from a foreign country.

07:36 He looks like he has been to a police station.

07:40 I don't think he has been to a police station.

07:42 But I don't think he has ever stolen anything.

07:47 What happened after you reached there?

07:49 We got down late. - Okay.

07:51 We said, 'Thank God, there is no plane now.'

07:53 A family ran towards us with their kids.

07:59 I said, 'I don't know. They are our guests.'

08:01 Okay. - Okay.

08:02 They said, 'They are our guests.'

08:03 They were our fans. - Okay.

08:06 They said, 'We know that you will come at 9.'

08:09 'We leave at 6.'

08:10 Wow.. - Wow..

08:12 Amazing.. - They took selfies.

08:15 So, we had to.. - How did they know you?

08:17 Are you a star?

08:18 I said, 'Your programme is watched everywhere.'

08:25 Oh, God. - You must be thinking

08:26 that this is what happened when he went.

08:28 What will happen when we go? - What will happen?

08:30 Yes..

08:31 They said, 'Who is with the kids?'

08:32 'Who is with the kids?'

08:33 They said, 'Where did you hide them?'

08:36 Sydney is very beautiful. - Okay.

08:39 Oprah.. - If you go around Oprah, you will find Oprah.

08:42 They believe in airports. They are very laughable in English.

08:45 Really? - Yes. I spoke to him.

08:48 What did you talk to him?

08:49 I said, 'How are you?'

08:50 He said, 'Fine.' I said, 'Okay.'

08:52 When we were going to New Zealand from Australia

08:58 we had to stop Gogya from coming to the airport.

09:00 Okay. - He said, 'Sorry, flammable things are not allowed.'

09:03 'Not allowed.'

09:04 Did you have sushi there?

09:06 Sushi? - Yes.

09:07 It was like this there.

09:09 We didn't know how much sushi we were eating.

09:13 He said, 'I got a call after two days.'

09:15 I said, 'What are you eating?'

09:17 He said, 'We are eating this.'

09:18 Sir, when we landed in Brisbane.. - Yes.

09:22 We landed in Brisbane. - A producer son came to pick us.

09:24 Yes. - He took us straight to our house.

09:26 Okay. - His name was Tarak Naveed.

09:28 Okay. - I didn't eat the food

09:30 that was served in his house. - Okay.

09:32 We were tired. We got up. - Okay.

09:34 We had lentils and vegetables.

09:36 And the way he looked at Gogya

09:41 he gave him lentils and vegetables.

09:42 He said, 'He can't even make vegetables.'

09:43 But you must have had Alfredo Fettuccine

09:46 when you went to Australia.

09:48 Yes. No, I don't eat that.

09:50 But there's a good thing about New Zealand. - What?

09:54 The people there.. - Yes.

09:56 They smile at each other. - Even you?

09:58 Sir.

10:01 Sir, they call us rainbow kids.

10:03 We are rainbow kids. - What?

10:05 They call us rainbow kids. - Yes, rainbow.

10:06 Sir, I have seen so many of them. - Yes.

10:08 Let's not talk about it. - Let's not talk about it.

10:10 Let's not talk about it. - Let's not talk about it.

10:13 Let's not talk about it. - Okay.

10:14 (audience laughing)

Saleem Albela Aur Goga Pisroori Ki Standup Comedy - Hans Hans Kay Mahool Bana Diya

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