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  • 2 days ago
Vash the Stampede is the man with a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head. The reason: he's a merciless villain who lays waste to all those that oppose him and flattens entire cities for fun, garnering him the title "The Humanoid Typhoon." He leaves a trail of death and destruction wherever he goes, and anyone can count themselves dead if they so much as make eye contact—or so the rumors say. In actuality, Vash is a huge softie who claims to have never taken a life and avoids violence at all costs.

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00:00This video is brought to you by
00:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:30We really do appreciate you lending us bus fare.
01:42Hmm? What are you talking about?
01:44If we don't come with you, we can't do our job!
01:47I'll hate you! I'll haunt you and your children and your children's children, too!
01:52Oh, yeah. I knew it was a mistake, but I couldn't take the whining.
01:55I appreciate it!
01:56Okay, okay. You can shower me with all the appreciation you want.
02:00Just make sure you pay me back when we hit town. My wallet's almost empty.
02:04You've got a point there!
02:07Am I really getting through to this girl?
02:09I'm a little bit thirsty. Do you think that I can have some of your water?
02:12Finally! I'm not getting through to her at all!
02:15Will you keep it down?
02:16Haven't you noticed that everyone here is exhausted from the terrible ordeal in the sand steamer?
02:22Don't worry! I've shut him up for you! He won't be causing any more trouble!
02:27I really don't think you had to hit me.
02:29What is it this time?
02:36That!
02:45That is one heck of a well-prepared dead guy.
02:51Hey, you!
02:52Well, praise the Lord! Hello!
03:04Are you alright?
03:05Here, have some water!
03:06Oh, thank you.
03:11Ah!
03:14Ah! I'm alive again!
03:16I'm much obliged.
03:18You're welcome!
03:19But that was my...
03:20What were you doing out in the middle of the desert?
03:24Ha! Well, my bike decided to break down on me.
03:26About 100 aisles or so down the road from here, so I thought I'd just hoof it!
03:29Are you saying you actually walked 100 aisles?
03:32That's right! It was pretty horrible.
03:37Gee, it must have been awfully tiring to walk carrying that huge thing on your back.
03:42Ha! Ha! I couldn't leave it behind.
03:44I do have my pride as a tradesman, you know.
03:46A tradesman?
03:48I'm a man of the cloth.
03:49You? Are you serious?
03:51Do you like make pretty dresses?
03:53Hardly! I'm a priest, saving the lambs who have strayed off their path.
03:56A soldier of love!
03:59You girls are the ones who spotted me, aren't you?
04:01You saved my life.
04:02Well, actually, the one that spotted you when you were nothing but a tiny little speck on the horizon
04:06was that pathetic guy.
04:10Oh.
04:11Hey! I'm alive because of what you did!
04:14How could I ever thank you?
04:15Uh, Mr. Uh...
04:17I am known as Valentines Alkalinella Zihak Shushiraboheretz.
04:22Gumby Gobella, Blue Stradivari, Talent Trent Pierre, Andre Chartenhamos, Ivano Vinci Baldos George, Deutzel Kaiser III.
04:34Don't hesitate to call.
04:35What are you talking about, Mr. Vash the Stampede?
04:39Hmm?
04:40I hate it when you call me by my full name!
04:43The Vash?
04:44You mean to say he's the Vash the Stampede?
04:48Huh?
04:49Can this man really be him?
04:52He's absolutely nothing at all like I envisioned.
04:55How is that possible?
04:58Yeah, I know. I have trouble believing it, too.
05:00You mean...
05:02Oh, hey, gee, sorry about that.
05:07I'm Wolfwood.
05:08At your service.
05:09Life sure can be funny sometimes.
05:17Imagine running into the legendary outlaw in a place like this.
05:22Don't broadcast it to the whole world, okay?
05:25If I shot you dead right now and collected the 60 billion double dollars, I'd have a really fun journey, wouldn't I?
05:31You weren't listening, were you?
05:33Got any more water?
05:35I would, but you drank it all.
05:37Sorry about that.
05:39Hey, they seem to be getting along really well.
05:45The birds of a feather have flocked together.
05:50That was a long trip.
05:53I gotta stretch.
05:57Look, mister, do me a favor. Please count it one more time.
06:00Okay. Ready?
06:02One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
06:07Recount it all you want. It's still not enough.
06:09Like I told you, the fare is one hundred double dollars.
06:12If I give you any more, I'll die of starvation.
06:15Come on, driver, please. Give me a break.
06:18Uh, all right.
06:19I'll tell you what.
06:20I'll let you ride for eighty double dollars.
06:22Take it or leave it.
06:22Really? That'd be great.
06:24Thanks a lot.
06:25Oh, I almost forgot.
06:27Whoa, what the hell is this?
06:29It's a confessional.
06:30You know, those private rooms they used to have in the churches back home?
06:34This one is portable.
06:35You must have something to confess.
06:37Some blasphemous act, an indiscretion maybe?
06:39It's on the house.
06:40Go ahead. Don't be shy.
06:42No thanks, Padre.
06:46Huh. Well, now, he's not much fun.
06:48Looks like you've got a pretty tough job, hmm?
06:51Is that thing part of your gospel?
06:53Of course not. It's all business.
06:55Unfortunately.
06:56Our church kind of doubles as an orphanage.
07:03We scrape out a living doing what we can.
07:05We take in all these kids with no living family, no place to go.
07:10Guess it was time I left the church anyway.
07:13I decided it was a hopeless effort unless I made some money for them.
07:17Are you saying you make money as a priest?
07:20Well, I wouldn't exactly put it like that, but...
07:23Oh.
07:24Mama, I'm really hungry.
07:25I'm tired.
07:27We'll be in the city sooner than you think, girls,
07:29and once we get there, I'll give you plenty to eat.
07:31Be patient for Mommy, okay?
07:33But Mom...
07:34Don't be that way, honey.
07:35It's only going to be a little bit longer.
07:39I want food now.
07:44Mama, I'm thirsty.
07:45Please, Mama.
07:46Are you guys hungry?
07:49Uh-huh.
07:50I see.
07:51Well, I have these.
07:52They're little, but they taste pretty good.
07:55Okay.
07:59Well, this is yours.
08:02And this one is yours.
08:04And then this one, uh, is mine.
08:08Sorry it's not much, but you think it'll be enough for now?
08:24Come on, YouTube.
08:28Wasn't that nice?
08:29Yeah.
08:29I won't drop a crumb.
08:30Well, I'll be.
08:38I'm actually surprised that you can smile like that.
08:41Huh?
08:42What do you mean?
08:43You had me kind of worried.
08:45I noticed that you always smile and seem really friendly,
08:48but the way you smiled was so empty it hurt to watch you.
08:52You're hurting like crazy on the inside,
08:54yet you grin and bear it.
08:56At least that's this man's opinion anyway.
09:00That's why I have this confessional!
09:03No matter what the worry, I'll listen to it.
09:06Just put a coin in here.
09:08You're really good at your trade.
09:09I've got to be to make a living.
09:11It's not easy, you know.
09:13Somebody come quick.
09:14Huh?
09:14Eric is completely crazy.
09:16I guess it was bound to happen.
09:18The sun is getting worse.
09:22Hey, Eric, buddy.
09:23Are you all right?
09:24Hang on, okay?
09:26It... it was...
09:27Don't talk.
09:29Hey, get the stretcher over here!
09:30He's just falling down.
09:32He doesn't really look that bad.
09:34Hmm?
09:36Who's responsible for this?
09:38There isn't anyone here but the passengers.
09:42All right, all right, all right!
09:44Whoever did it, come out with your hands up right now!
09:46Why are you pointing that thing at me?
09:49Well, it was you, wasn't it?
09:50It was no mortal that did this.
09:52Huh?
09:52Come again?
09:55What the hell is that?
09:56That thing is huge!
10:05Well done!
10:06It's still alive!
10:07What is it?
10:12Hey, not bad, girl!
10:13Ha ha ha!
10:14Why doesn't anything nice ever follow you?
10:22I know, it's a real drag, isn't it?
10:27What the hell are those ugly things?
10:29Hunks of lost technology?
10:30Damn!
10:31It's all because I changed my route to save that stupid cheap priest!
10:34I'm too nice!
10:35I should have charged it full price!
10:36Now, now!
10:37How can they still be operational?
10:42Their expiration date was a long time ago.
10:46This is horrible!
10:48Can you help him?
10:49I may not look it, but I am a priest.
10:51Leave it to me.
10:52I'm sure I have a book on it.
10:56Never mind.
10:57I'll do it.
10:58Okay, thanks!
10:59Helen, has anyone seen my daughter?
11:06Oh my god, no.
11:11Take care of the wounded man!
11:13Oh dear!
11:13Great!
11:14What are you doing?
11:26Don't ask ridiculous questions.
11:28I'm gonna save the child.
11:30With your bare hands?
11:34Oh shit!
11:37You would have gone anyway, huh?
11:40Of course I would.
11:42I see him, I see him.
12:03There's lots of those big guys.
12:05Hey, but those are nothing for the likes of Vash the Stampede, right?
12:09What's wrong with you?
12:11My stomach kinda hurts.
12:12Aw, come on now, tough guy.
12:14Get over it.
12:14You're not that fragile, are you?
12:16I got shot by the leader of the Bad Lads about three days ago.
12:20You got shot by Brilliant Dynamite's Neon.
12:22Ha ha ha!
12:23Now that is impressive.
12:24You do lead an exciting life, just like they say.
12:27We gotta go.
12:28You listen to people, and then again you don't.
12:30What's up with that?
12:31A child's life is on the line.
12:33She needs help.
12:34Just look for a second, will ya?
12:35They use that thing on the end to detect objects which radiate heat.
12:41Hey, listen to me!
12:42I don't have time to just sit around and chit chat.
12:45Oh, this is bad.
12:53This is gonna be tough.
12:54I'm in trouble!
12:55I'm in trouble!
12:56Warning!
12:57Your ID has not been registered.
12:59Therefore, you may not enter this area.
13:02Huh?
13:03Oh, you will now be removed by force.
13:14Get down!
13:15Fire!
13:22That's him, Alred.
13:24Hey, nice support!
13:26And you were a nice decoy.
13:29Oh!
13:33Now that's what's known as a nice cover.
13:35You were the decoy that time.
13:36Huh, guess so.
13:37Nice support.
13:40What is it?
13:41Over there!
13:49She's still alive, and she looks okay!
13:51Praise the Lord!
13:58He's fast.
14:00Unbelievably fast.
14:01That sounded like a single gunshot.
14:03Thanks a lot, Bash!
14:11Behind you!
14:15Well, it looks like we're just about done.
14:18Huh?
14:19Nuts!
14:19Nuts!
14:19No!
14:20No!
14:20No!
14:20AHHHHHHHHH!
14:24No!
14:29AHHHHH!
14:31No no no! It's Quixote!
14:35AHHHHH!
14:42What an embarrassing way to go.
14:45what is this place we really fell into it now we're smack in the middle of their territory
14:54what this is the inside of an alien ship you're telling me we discovered some kind of spaceship
14:59that crashed here a long time ago i'm curious to know what's inside the belly of this monster whale
15:04now i know why the shorthead girls always so pissed off at you all the time when you're around
15:13things always seem to get much worse my brain's about to explode into pieces
15:17it's your fault do something you fell in all by yourself you're the outlaw
15:23what's i got to do with anything
15:43i think we should take five here all this is making me hungry
15:46there
15:50here
15:53that's funny with the children you seem to be a bit more generous
15:58i guess you don't want it
15:59i am eternally grateful for your humanity in this most extreme situation
16:04okay that was fun so what do you want to do now
16:11i lost eighty billion double dollars at poker but there's a little left
16:14well a real man would lay it all on the table
16:16all right then let's find ourselves a casino
16:19the plant's fully operational this is an awfully big casino
16:45the plant's fully operational this is an awfully big casino
16:50well then where are the cards
16:52right here
16:53huh
16:54i'll go you cover me
16:56hey i have to tell you i've never fired a gun before
17:00besides if i go ahead and take this one doesn't that mean you're going in there completely unarmed
17:05you're really crazy
17:06why don't you go then i'll wait here i'll shoot the gun
17:09okay shuffle the deck it's time for a game
17:12just one moment
17:13what is it
17:15may you go with the protection and love of almighty god
17:18it's the usual mantra for the big guy
17:21does it work
17:22that's entirely up to you
17:24wonderful mantra you got there
17:25believers will be redeemed in the end
17:27okie dokie then
17:29shall we begin
17:31okie let's get in the game
17:38he's good
17:45that's precise shooting
17:46i knew he was no ordinary priest
17:48i'll get it
18:00huh
18:02damn
18:08please show your id number
18:13leave me alone already
18:15unable to confirm identity
18:17conclusion intruder
18:19would you just
18:21get out of my way
18:22this is bad
18:26what happened there
18:39huh
18:41hey vash
18:42he's alive
18:48i don't believe this guy
18:51you can stop now
18:55there's no one left to protect
18:58good night
19:13good night
19:27what happened back there
19:33what do you mean
19:34don't play dumb with me
19:35i'm asking what you did back there
19:37it must have been god
19:38it's the only explanation
19:40what's that
19:42oh no
19:45oh no there's more
19:46hello are the two of you down there somewhere
19:51can you hear us
19:52it's us
19:53millie and meryl
19:53we're here to save you
19:54if you're there
19:56give us a sign
19:57i think there may be
20:01a little late i'd say
20:03you can get out of the worst predicaments imaginable just like they say vash the stampede
20:24i'd much rather lead an uneventful life if it was up to me
20:33you couldn't if you tried
20:35huh
20:36can i sit here
20:38huh
20:39uh
20:39yeah go ahead
20:41hey you're really comfortable
20:46uh
20:51boy that guy sure has a lot of nerve
20:56actually he reminds me of someone i know
20:58yeah isn't he horrible
21:00well i think we should tell him off
21:01yeah let's do that
21:03huh
21:30my back hurts
21:36thanks a lot for all the support vash
21:39it was a fun and interesting trick
21:40you're leaving now
21:41i gotta get back to work you know
21:43hey preacher man
21:45hey thanks a lot
21:49damn that thing's heavy
21:51that my friend is because it's so full of mercy
21:54see you later
21:55try to stay out of trouble vash
21:59i wish everyone around you will be a whole lot healthier for it
22:01and with any luck we'll meet again soon
22:03may you all go with god my friends
22:12he was a strange and unusual man
22:14yeah
22:17and there went wolfwood
22:20okay i think i'll go get something yummy to eat
22:23mmm that sounds good
22:25but first i need you to return the money i lent you
22:28all right already we'll give it back
22:29it's not like you don't know where to find us or anything
22:31oh my god
22:33i don't like you
22:34yeah
22:35i don't like you
22:35i don't like you
22:36yeah
22:37no i don't like you
22:38yeah
22:41The blue sky in the sky, the wind is coming to the future
22:51The day of the day of the sky, I can hold on to the sky
22:59It's just that it's been released
23:07The only one left left
23:16With my eyes and eyes
23:20With my eyes and eyes
23:24There's nothing else I need
23:28I can't wait to see the smile
23:32It will be forever
23:36I can't wait to see the future
23:40I can't wait to see the future
23:46I can't wait to see the future
23:50Na, na, na, na
23:54Na, na, na, na
23:58I think I'd like to do something nice for somebody
24:10I think it's good if you smile at someone and they smile in return
24:14Voluntary love encourages people to create a sense of friendliness
24:18Love that is unconditional gives us respect as people
24:22However, it's wrong to force love to try to keep it alive
24:26If the strain goes on, eventually it'll bloom into the flower called lye
24:30The deceptively thorny flower that hurts people
24:34The Bristol Tower
24:36The hoping will be more that hurts people
24:38Thank you
24:40Some people and your people
24:42Who'll never have an end
24:44This is a wonderful pie
24:46How people feel
24:49Never know
24:49This Mukher thing
24:52Was something memorable
24:56how you can put your potential
24:57Ros Sue
24:57Is something new
24:59Knowing my thoughts

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