- 2 days ago
Vash the Stampede is the man with a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head. The reason: he's a merciless villain who lays waste to all those that oppose him and flattens entire cities for fun, garnering him the title "The Humanoid Typhoon." He leaves a trail of death and destruction wherever he goes, and anyone can count themselves dead if they so much as make eye contact—or so the rumors say. In actuality, Vash is a huge softie who claims to have never taken a life and avoids violence at all costs.
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00:00I'll see you next time.
00:30Oh, my God.
02:00Meryl, I don't see a soul anywhere.
02:07Nobody told me this became a ghost town. I didn't hear anybody say anything about that.
02:12I really hope there's a well around it.
02:15Wishful thinking doesn't help. Just don't think about it. It only makes the truth more painful.
02:19Ah!
02:28You were right. The truth hurts.
02:39I hate being right. Huh? Land subsidence?
02:45Tarnation! First the war dries up, then that dang criminal, the humanoid typhoon, shows up.
02:50This town ain't fit to live in no more.
02:52Yeah, bash the stampede. The new hired gun at Sazor's mansion.
02:54Oh, shucks. This town is finished.
02:56Bad times are here. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
02:58Hmm. Meryl.
03:04Uh-huh.
03:06All right.
03:07I'm so excited. Now we can get water from that mansion.
03:10Oh, I give up.
03:12Excuse me, is this the Cesar residence?
03:17My name is Meryl Streif, and I'm here on behalf of the Bernardelli Insurance Society.
03:21I'd like to talk to you for a minute, please.
03:23Yeah, and I'm her partner, Millie Thompson, and we're very thirsty.
03:27Hey, don't say that.
03:28I just need to ask you a few questions about Vash the Stampede.
03:32I heard that he was staying here.
03:35Ah!
03:36Ah, thank you very much.
03:44Yes, we certainly appreciate this.
03:49Hello?
03:51Hello?
03:53Hey, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here.
03:55I work here now. I'm Mr. Cliff's hired bodyguard, and I'm his exclusive ace gunman.
04:00Hey, is that for me? How nice.
04:03Oh, you shouldn't have.
04:06You're really a bodyguard?
04:08These are good.
04:10I can't believe it.
04:11We're happy to see you again, Mr. Ace Gunman.
04:14That's an amazing coincidence. These are really delicious. Would you like one?
04:20Well, yes, I'd love one.
04:21Huh? You have got to keep your mind on business, Millie.
04:25All right, Ace, I want to know. What's your real reason for being here?
04:29Well, now that was an odd response.
04:33Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt you, but are these young ladies friends of yours, Vash?
04:39What? Vash? He's not Vash. What the hell are you talking about?
04:42In any event, you two seem to be here for a reason.
04:45Huh?
04:46We shouldn't be discussing this out here. Won't you please come in?
04:49Uh, yeah, but I don't think that we...
04:52My name is Cliff Cesar.
04:59I make my living selling water in this town, but recently somebody's been trying to kill me.
05:05That could be bad for business and my health.
05:07So I advertise for a good bodyguard, for someone tough and smart like Vash the Stampede.
05:13I originally put his name down as a joke.
05:17It never occurred to me that it would be taken seriously and that the real thing would actually show up.
05:22Isn't that right, Vash?
05:23Yeah, it's me, all right. Now that I'm here, you have nothing to fear.
05:28The man who will slaughter the innocent!
05:30Does the most evil of evil deeds with a price of 60 billion double dollars on his head?
05:35Yes, I am that man!
05:36What a nice, dependable guy, and modest as well.
05:39Isn't it wonderful? With Vash around, the people of the mansion will be safe.
05:45This may sound rude, but I think you should have your eyes checked.
05:48Now listen, young lady, it's very important that I have a good bodyguard.
05:52Let me explain to you just how important it is.
05:59Her name is Marianne Alokaisen.
06:02She's the granddaughter of the head of the Stantal Federal Bureau, and she's staying at the mansion as my guest.
06:07The truth is, we had an attempted break-in here five days ago, and frankly, I'm a little worried.
06:17I wouldn't have hired a bodyguard if I thought they were coming after me.
06:23But Marianne's safety is my responsibility, and I do not want anything happening to her.
06:28Well, now you know the whole story, and that is why I need your help.
06:32You can definitely count on me, Mr. Cliff.
06:35I don't let anyone in my sights get away, and I'm known for my bullets never missing their mark.
06:41Especially if it's the heart of a beautiful lady.
06:43Bang!
06:46Meryl, are you okay?
06:48I'm happy to have you protect me, Mr. Vash. I really am.
06:51Yeah, a lot of people say that. I hear it all the time.
06:54Is that right? I believe it.
06:57Yeah, they really do.
07:01Hey, Meryl, you need help?
07:05I need to talk to you.
07:07What's the matter, my dear?
07:09Listen to me, Mr. Cliff. I think you're a nice man.
07:13How can you believe that weird guy out there is Vash the Stampede, the legendary gunman?
07:18That droopy-eyed, cocky, upside-down-haired, women-chasing lunatic who's nuts for donuts and gorges them like a starved hog in heat.
07:25You honestly think it's him?
07:26She's really very nice. She bought the donuts.
07:29She's really very nice and loud.
07:31I am telling you for the last time, you are being deceived by that man!
07:35On the contrary, I'm doing the deceiving.
07:39Huh?
07:40I think you got a good look at the city.
07:42With that kind of mess out there, all it took was a simple little rumor that Vash the Stampede was working for me as a bodyguard.
07:48The town folk panicked and headed for the hills, and I'm expecting my enemy to do the same.
07:53Hello?
07:54This ad of yours caught my eye!
07:56Well, congratulations. As of today, you are now Vash the Stampede.
08:00Huh?
08:01Vash the Stampede, it's a pleasure to meet you.
08:03It could have been anybody. He just showed up.
08:07I see. He's a huge inconvenience, but using him in your plan this way makes a lot more sense.
08:12Actually, this whole thing's gone a lot farther than I expected.
08:15The scoundrel who's been after me is a tall blonde man, packing a silver weapon and a reputation as an ace gunfighter.
08:22Huh?
08:23Did you hear that, Millie?
08:25Yes, I did. Every word.
08:27This is an absolute godsend!
08:29What humorous people they are!
08:31Yeah, it's usually best just to leave airheads alone.
08:35Hey, you know, Mr. Cliff, if you don't mind, my partner Millie and I would like to be your bodyguards too, for extra protection.
08:40Only naturally, we won't demand a fee like that greedy faker over there, so there'd be no risk to you whatsoever.
08:45Well, that'd be fine with me.
08:49Thank you, sir. You won't be sorry.
08:51This is not what I expected to do as a bodyguard.
08:56Every journey begins with a single step. We just have to have patience.
09:00Is it ready yet?
09:02We'll take it out when it is.
09:05Wow, scary. Later.
09:07I'd like to show that guy something scary. Nothing has gone right since we met him.
09:12I don't think that's true at all. I'm having a wonderful time.
09:16Plus, we get to have all the water we can drink.
09:20Boy, has she got a short fuse.
09:22I can hear the sound of running water.
09:28And I believe it's coming from the shower in Mary Ann's room.
09:34Lifeline secure?
09:37Wind favorable?
09:39The plan is perfect.
09:41I've got the guts.
09:46I'm coming, Mary Ann!
09:52Miss Mary Ann!
09:57Supper is pre-
09:58Where are you?
10:02Oh.
10:04Hello!
10:06Hello!
10:08What in the world are you doing hanging outside the window?
10:13I'm, uh, well, diligently patrolling the roof area for spooks.
10:16Yeah, that's it.
10:17Oh, wow. That sounds scary.
10:19You bodyguards sure are busy people.
10:22Oh, yeah. I almost forgot to tell you. Supper's ready.
10:25Ah, thanks a lot.
10:40This is Mr. Cliff's study.
10:43Mary Ann.
10:44Ah, this place sure is fancy.
10:49Is water really that profitable, Mr. Cliff?
10:52There's been a drought for the past few years.
10:55I'm very lucky to have been able to enjoy a few luxuries because my father, who was a plant engineer, purchased land with a water supply.
11:02It's a rare commodity around here.
11:04I'd imagine that would tend to make a lot of people jealous.
11:07Yep, I'm afraid a lot of folks want my water rights.
11:09Apparently, they think I'm monopolizing it for selfish reasons and don't want to share the wealth with them.
11:16But the water supply is not limitless.
11:18Unless it's managed properly by someone who knows how, it will completely dry up.
11:23But it doesn't change the fact that you're profiting from a natural resource.
11:27I'm sorry, it's none of my business.
11:31No, you're absolutely right, my dear.
11:34But I can't let the water be stolen by reckless people who don't care if it dries up.
11:39They may call me a coward, but I intend to do what it takes to protect the water.
11:43That's most admirable, Mr. Cliff.
11:47Please excuse me, Mr. Cliff, I'm not feeling very well.
11:50I think I'm going to go to bed early.
11:52She may look calm, but she's probably feeling quite ill at ease.
12:00Perhaps it was not such a good idea to invite her here.
12:04I suppose.
12:05Well, I think I'll make the rounds and make sure this place is secure.
12:09I should at least pretend to look like a real bodyguard.
12:13As an extra safety measure, I've asked Marianne to keep her curtain drawn.
12:17You... I...
12:18But I would never dream of doing anything like...
12:20I mean, good thinking.
12:24Very sensible idea, Mr. Cliff.
12:29Later.
12:45I'm really exhausted, Meryl, from all the cooking we had to do today.
12:49This is only the beginning.
12:51There's no telling when the culprit will show up.
12:53We have to be alert in our duties.
12:55There will be no sleeping for us tonight.
12:58If it doesn't show up, this will really be a wasted effort.
13:02May I come in?
13:04One moment, please.
13:09Come in.
13:11Excuse me.
13:11Is something wrong?
13:14Uh, no.
13:15Were you looking at the stars?
13:19Uh, yes.
13:21I was thinking of my home and my family.
13:24Even though most of my memories there are unpleasant ones.
13:29Thoughts of home, whether good or bad, are positive indicators of a journey of the heart.
13:34Uh, it's always been my dream to travel by myself to any place I want.
13:39But I could never persuade my father to let me do it.
13:43So I've only been allowed to stay at the homes of his closest friends.
13:48This is hardly what I call a journey of the heart, you know?
13:51Uh.
13:51Someday, you'll be able to take a journey to anywhere you desire.
14:01Although it may not exactly be by yourself.
14:05I'm not sure I understand what you mean by that.
14:10Hmm.
14:10Oh, I think I just saw something move.
14:13There it is again!
14:15Wait here.
14:17I'll go have a look.
14:18Are you sure?
14:19It's my job, ma'am.
14:20Damn it!
14:24That hurt, you stupid idiot.
14:30Stay still!
14:32He's here!
14:33It's Vash the Stampede!
14:34Let go of me!
14:35I'll sue you!
14:37You have no idea who you're dealing with!
14:39What are you doing?
14:40Huh?
14:41Hey!
14:42Why the hell did you just attack me, you maniac?
14:44Oh, gee, it's only you.
14:46What do you mean, it's only me?
14:47How rude!
14:48Marianne and I were having a heated discussion
14:50about our future when we were interrupted
14:51by the sound of an intruder.
14:53I just came out to investigate.
14:55So what did I ever do to you?
14:56Now that you've apprehended the intruder,
14:58do you feel like you have a nice, clean conscience?
15:01Well, not when it comes to Marianne.
15:03Gee, Merrill, I had no idea the two of you
15:05were on such friendly terms.
15:07Have you been paying any attention at all?
15:09Hey, Miss Marianne!
15:11You don't have to worry your little head!
15:13I have captured the culprit,
15:14so all is safe and well for you again!
15:16She's doing you calling a culprit.
15:19Huh?
15:23Anything?
15:24No.
15:25I don't understand what's going on.
15:27Both Miss Marianne and Mr. Cliff have just disappeared,
15:30apparently without a trace.
15:31Do you think that they were kidnapped?
15:34We were outside the entire time.
15:35I think that's pretty much impossible.
15:37Oh, I'm so worried about them.
15:39Merrill!
15:40Huh?
15:41They're nowhere to be found.
15:43What is that?
15:44Miss Marianne's dress and some bloody bandages.
15:47There was a man that tried to break in five days ago.
15:50Then we find a discarded dress and some bloody bandages,
15:52and finally Miss Marianne was seen sneaking around
15:55and entering Mr. Cliff's study.
15:57Well, there's more than enough evidence here
15:58to support the fact that Marianne has been after him.
16:01You're wrong!
16:01Huh?
16:02It can't be!
16:03Marianne just isn't that kind of girl!
16:05How can you be so sure?
16:06From the moment I saw her,
16:10from the look in her eyes,
16:11Miss Marianne has a beautiful heart.
16:14You're the easily deceived type
16:15who cries himself to sleep every night, aren't you?
16:17Thanks a lot, dreamwrecker.
16:19I know!
16:20A ghost must have gotten Miss Marianne!
16:22Huh?
16:23You said yourself there were spooks on the roof
16:25when I saw you by the window.
16:27That was...
16:29I mean, what I meant was, you know, spooks, there are...
16:31Huh?
16:34Uh, spooks, you know...
16:35What's this about the roof?
16:37He was hanging outside the window
16:38by Miss Marianne's bathroom.
16:39Aha!
16:40Yes?
16:41Just what the hell do you think you were doing?
16:42Peeking into a lady's room,
16:44you disgusting sicko!
16:45Wait, time out!
16:46Time out!
16:46You may think you're slick, Mr. Hotpants,
16:48but you're not gonna get away with it this time!
16:50Whoa, wait!
16:50Time out!
16:51Time out!
16:52Eee!
16:52Eee!
16:56Huh?
16:57I knew he wasn't telling you,
17:14I knew he wasn't telling the whole truth.
17:28What a naughty little princess.
17:32Huh?
17:34Even pranks have a limit.
17:37Huh?
17:38Huh.
17:39So now they've started using kids
17:41to do their dirty work.
17:43Thanks to your selfish monopolization
17:45of the water supply,
17:46all of the land in this area
17:47has dried up and died!
17:48Do you have any idea
17:49how many people have suffered
17:51because of your greed?
17:52So little Miss Marianne
17:54comes to get the evidence.
17:56Justice doesn't come that cheap.
18:00Oh, that's right.
18:01I almost forgot.
18:03I shot...
18:04The people have all evacuated,
18:10so there'll be no witnesses.
18:17Spreading the rumor of Vash the Stampede
18:20did my business a world of good.
18:22I have far too much invested in this place
18:24to allow the likes of you
18:25to come in and ruin things for me.
18:29Game over, Fran.
18:31Look out below!
18:34Are you all right?
18:41Idiot.
18:42Is that what he meant
18:43when he said he was going to
18:43sneak up behind him?
18:45This mess has gone from spill to overflow.
18:48Great.
18:48Under these conditions,
18:49there's absolutely nothing we can do now.
18:51Oh?
18:52Well, this explains your little luxuries.
18:55Ha!
18:55You're wasting my time here.
18:57Run!
18:58Get out of here quick!
18:59Hurry!
19:00Huh?
19:02Thank goodness!
19:04I knew it!
19:05You are the girl I thought you were!
19:07Uh-huh.
19:12Well, very brave.
19:14Scary!
19:26Scary!
19:26Oh!
19:26Damn you!
19:31He reads the trajectories of the bullets by watching the gun movements and timing.
19:43insane just no skill what the hell are you anyway I'm your bodyguard and ace
19:54gunman just as advertised not bad I guess I was right after all when I chose
20:01to hire you don't you agree how dare you as requested I have protected your guest mr.
20:18cliff but look there
20:48it's all right the damned water just overflowed all at once that's all it's not your fault it
20:59will return underground eventually and make the town prosper again and I'm sure everyone
21:03who left will be able to return to their homes I'm very grateful you're welcome come on all
21:11it was was a series of lucky accidents that's all did you dodge all those bullets just by accident
21:16or did you do it on purpose I suppose it was more like a fluke actually because if you did
21:22that consciously I'm afraid I'd really have to believe that you are in fact the legendary Vash
21:28the Stampede and what if I was Vash the Stampede then I'd arrest you I have the both of you to
21:36thank as well you must be glad it's over your job's completed unfortunately we've just gone
21:41back to square one oh Meryl don't let it get to you are you leaving my job's done here there goes the
21:51bodyguard with no name I could really fall for that guy he's a real man what do you mean that guy is
21:58completely irresponsible I'm afraid you have no eye for men says who maybe someday I'll show you then
22:05you'll see I have absolutely no desire to see thank you very much now Meryl don't let it get to
22:12you I was so sure it would work out this time she was such a cutie but I guess there's no way it
22:23could have worked I don't want to get arrested this one will probably be blamed on me too oh man
22:30you
23:00I have all been left with my left hand.
23:11I'm going to leave my left hand as well.
23:14I have to leave my right hand.
23:18I have left hand-to-hand hand-to-hand hand-to-hand hand-to-hand hand.
23:23He has nothing to do with a smile
23:31It's the end of the day
23:39I'll see you next time
23:48Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na.
24:02Those who make mistakes blame themselves and close their hearts.
24:09It's impossible to fix the mistake.
24:11Men can't return to the past.
24:13That's why they drink.
24:15Lushes, drunks, sliding alcohol down their throats to dilute the memories that can't be forgotten
24:21Frank Marlin, the gunsmith, does nothing but drink
24:25And he questions the glass after it's empty
24:28Am I wrong? Was I wrong?
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