- yesterday
Matrimoney - Full Movie [EngSub]
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Your place, your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:11Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29He's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care. That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't worry.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:39Right back at you.
00:01:41I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I fucking hate you more.
00:01:45So, you were arrested.
00:02:07Again.
00:02:08To be fair, when we thought I was leaving, we'll just swim there.
00:02:14There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:23If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I went in a cave.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:35Oh.
00:02:40Come on, Gucci.
00:02:41Let's go.
00:02:42You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:06The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:10I make my own money.
00:03:12Oh, you see, you see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:15I am the spokesperson for man thumb.
00:03:18That means free underwear for life.
00:03:20For life.
00:03:22Some parents would be proud.
00:03:23Yeah?
00:03:24Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:28You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:32Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:36All right.
00:03:37Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:38And don't be late.
00:03:39Bye, Dad.
00:03:40Excuse me.
00:03:42Hello, my Gucci.
00:03:45Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:03:46You…
00:04:02Need to settle down and find yourself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:13Thank you, Amelia.
00:04:15Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool. Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi. I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:04Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were ya?
00:05:10Dad, I'm in a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:14Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:20Ah, it's too late. He's back on the plane again.
00:05:22Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned.
00:05:34You went to business school.
00:05:36You have potential.
00:05:38But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:40Well, you're gonna have to prove it.
00:05:42Well, you've been doing this before.
00:05:44I ain't seen the ante from you.
00:05:46But...
00:05:50Hey...
00:05:51You okay?
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:54Um...
00:05:55But...
00:05:56I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:58So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:16Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20Oh my god.
00:06:21There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:24But it's really expensive.
00:06:27And my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're gonna get through this.
00:06:38Together.
00:06:40Oh yeah.
00:06:54Ciao Gucci!
00:06:56Did she have a good mom?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:05Yeah.
00:07:07I'm sorry.
00:07:08This...
00:07:09No, no.
00:07:10Forget about it.
00:07:11I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:15I have a savings.
00:07:16I have a savings.
00:07:17For my doggy daycare.
00:07:18My dream.
00:07:19But...
00:07:22It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:24And who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After our parents passed, I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia.
00:07:36I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:39You do?
00:07:40Hmm.
00:07:41Come back tonight.
00:07:42And uh...
00:07:43Make something nice.
00:07:45Come on.
00:07:46Okay.
00:07:47Come on.
00:07:48Okay.
00:07:49Thanks.
00:07:50Oh, Amelia.
00:07:51You look bellissima.
00:07:52Except for the dog hair.
00:07:54Come with me.
00:07:55I have someone I want you to meet.
00:07:56Are they from Italy?
00:07:57Yes.
00:07:58Wow.
00:07:59Yes.
00:08:00Of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:02Well, Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:08:05I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:06Uh-huh.
00:08:07Mhmm.
00:08:08We need to know how to get your son.
00:08:09Let's see.
00:08:10Let's see.
00:08:11Let's see.
00:08:12Let's see.
00:08:13Let's see.
00:08:14Let's see.
00:08:15Let's see.
00:08:16Let's see.
00:08:17Let's see.
00:08:18Let's see.
00:08:19Let's see.
00:08:20Let's see.
00:08:21Let's see.
00:08:22Let's see.
00:08:23Let's see.
00:08:24Let's see.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:36Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44I don't know.
00:08:45I don't know.
00:08:46I remember that shit, huh?
00:08:55Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What exactly?
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:12I mean, it's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:21Or not.
00:09:22I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:26You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:30Just a few more pictures.
00:09:32I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:34I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:46Pour me another.
00:09:48I told you, I'm...
00:09:49Now.
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See, dog walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:06This is fucking Prada!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:14You crazy bitch!
00:10:18Amelia!
00:10:19Whoa.
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:20I asked her to pour me another drink
00:10:23and she flipped out.
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus,
00:10:26but your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:28I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature.
00:10:32All right?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you.
00:10:35Poor Florida.
00:10:37Please.
00:10:37All right?
00:10:38Just have a seat.
00:10:39All right?
00:10:40And I promise
00:10:40he'll be on his best behavior
00:10:42for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:43So, Amelia needs money
00:10:46to pay for her sister's
00:10:48cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:51Hmm.
00:10:52Yeah.
00:10:52And you need to settle down
00:10:54and prove that you're worthy
00:10:55of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:02I think we can make a deal
00:11:06whereby everyone gets
00:11:08what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:14No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married,
00:11:17that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus,
00:11:23what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone
00:11:28who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:29Well, at least I don't pose
00:11:31in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Well, Angelo, look,
00:11:34you have to grow up
00:11:36before you can run out business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that
00:11:38is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:41We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know,
00:11:50my wife and I,
00:11:51we were opposites.
00:11:52Oh, yeah, we were like
00:11:53pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:57She sure drove me crazy
00:11:58when we first met.
00:11:59Yeah, I know you're probably thinking
00:12:02I'm just some old fool, huh,
00:12:03but I learned a thing or two
00:12:05in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:12Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:14I don't want to be miserable
00:12:15for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help
00:12:18your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able
00:12:21to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree
00:12:23to this arrangement.
00:12:24What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:41Angelo, it's not polite
00:12:47to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not going to agree
00:12:50to marry her,
00:12:51then you're going to lose
00:12:54the business.
00:12:55And you're also going to lose
00:12:56your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:04Now, let's just
00:13:06go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already
00:13:09drafted the contract.
00:13:11And, son,
00:13:12we are going to need
00:13:13some champagne.
00:13:15Right, my mom.
00:13:16Yeah, try and make yourself
00:13:17look decent.
00:13:21You will be engaged
00:13:22for a period of 30 days.
00:13:24Followed by a wedding
00:13:26planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you,
00:13:28it's going to be a big one
00:13:29for the ages, too.
00:13:30I hope the Hollywood Bowl
00:13:32is not booked.
00:13:33Anyway,
00:13:34you must move in together
00:13:36immediately to avoid
00:13:37any suspicion, you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong
00:13:40with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well,
00:13:43it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out
00:13:45to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be
00:13:47our own secret.
00:13:49I hope we agreed.
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:14:04Salute to the new couple.
00:14:14So,
00:14:24your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:30Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:31So this is
00:14:42Michelangelo's place.
00:14:44It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:14:49Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:04What was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:10So put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here,
00:15:13not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing
00:15:16with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:19It's trademarked.
00:15:24Look,
00:15:24I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up
00:15:27by the time I get back,
00:15:27I'm throwing it all
00:15:28in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh,
00:15:37by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might wanna start
00:15:41wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:46You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:00It's not like you.
00:16:02You're saying we're...
00:16:04reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Well,
00:16:11things change
00:16:12when you find out
00:16:13your sister has cancer.
00:16:14And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered
00:16:17to help pay
00:16:17for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So,
00:16:19I'm okay with
00:16:20a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:27Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've
00:16:30heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo?
00:16:32Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Shhh.
00:16:38Socialite Animal?
00:16:39How did you start a hundred
00:16:40canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:51He's so toxic.
00:16:54Speak of the devil.
00:16:56Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know,
00:17:00that's probably
00:17:01an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:05Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:10Doctor's ready.
00:17:13We'll talk about this later.
00:17:14Ready to be wet, baby.
00:17:39We're already wet.
00:17:40Where did that come from?
00:18:10Nice place.
00:18:25I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks.
00:18:27Finally.
00:18:29Ooh, good taste.
00:18:32No, I'm good.
00:18:34We had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35More for me.
00:18:40You know,
00:18:41if you like it down here,
00:18:43you should see the bedroom.
00:18:52Who are you?
00:18:58Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel,
00:19:00this is Amelia,
00:19:02my roommate.
00:19:04Amelia.
00:19:06Whatever.
00:19:07Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:11This is my house?
00:19:13We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:18You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:22He's jealous.
00:19:24Jealous?
00:19:25I'm not jealous.
00:19:29Sweet dreams.
00:19:30I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:39How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:42Even if he is kind of hot.
00:19:43See you later.
00:19:54Love you.
00:19:56Oh.
00:20:02See you later.
00:20:04And, um...
00:20:05Don't worry about last night.
00:20:07Sorry. I had one too many to drink. It won't happen again.
00:20:11You better not.
00:20:24How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now. My head's killing me.
00:20:28We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No. What we need to do is order a three-egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:33I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine. I'll have her sign an NDA. Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:56Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:59I'm serious. Don't screw this up.
00:21:03I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:07Dog walker.
00:21:09And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:15Fine. Do whatever you want.
00:21:18I'm sorry.
00:21:20It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I'm just really...
00:21:23hungover.
00:21:25I'm over.
00:21:27That could have gone better.
00:21:28Hey, baby.
00:21:36You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:38You're rich now.
00:21:39I know. I like it.
00:21:41Ah, it's good to hear.
00:21:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:47Tell me, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:51Oh, fine.
00:21:53Yeah, we're still getting to know each other.
00:21:55All right.
00:21:56Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:58Oh, and listen.
00:21:59He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:02Look, I...
00:22:02I promise.
00:22:04I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:05Yeah, you're right.
00:22:08Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Come on, Gucci.
00:22:11Come on.
00:22:12Bye, Gooch.
00:22:16Hey, Amelia.
00:22:17Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no.
00:22:21Royce.
00:22:21It's a bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah, same here.
00:22:38Sorry, Gucci's a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46They should make a reality show.
00:22:47The real dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:50Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57I'd like that.
00:23:04So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:06A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:12Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:14Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:18Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21I was trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:40If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:49Do you want to go?
00:23:51I kind of have to admit I had a crush on you.
00:23:56You did?
00:23:56Yeah.
00:23:58Yeah.
00:24:00I still do.
00:24:04He's cute.
00:24:05I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:08Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:15I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:16I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:32Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:36It's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:41Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:46I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:56No.
00:24:57Are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped.
00:25:13You should pick it up.
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:15Just over there.
00:25:19Come on.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:25Of course.
00:25:27Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:28You want to be CEO, you got to look the part.
00:25:31You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:34Very funny.
00:25:34Very funny.
00:25:37You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:38Yes, I know.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:39That means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:49Come on, Dad.
00:25:49Oh my goodness.
00:26:03Are you okay?
00:26:04Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:07You're engaged, remember?
00:26:15And this is our new palette.
00:26:18It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:22Um, but yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:26:36What, Dad?
00:26:39What a day, Dad.
00:26:40It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:42Look at you.
00:26:43You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:49Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Let me just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business, but she just worked hard, and now, well, now
00:27:01she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:21Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:39Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work, raise
00:27:49you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:55You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:28:03Tonight?
00:28:04Shit.
00:28:06When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dino Verdina app.
00:28:19Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:24What's the matter?
00:28:25You're getting along all right, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah, just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight in the limo and don't be late.
00:28:41Bye, Dad.
00:28:41So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:29:02And?
00:29:04And, you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:07But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry, just an expression.
00:29:24How's it going in there?
00:29:25I'm coming out.
00:29:26Is that bad?
00:29:38I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:29:43Buy that dress.
00:29:45ASAP.
00:29:49Leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:29:56I've got my own function tonight.
00:30:26What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:31Thanks.
00:30:32Um, I...
00:30:34Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:42Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome, thanks.
00:30:52I'm taking this.
00:30:53Wait, I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you.
00:30:57I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on.
00:31:01Amelia!
00:31:09All right, hey.
00:31:11Look who's right on time.
00:31:12Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:15She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:31:21If your fiance is sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:37Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:55Hey.
00:31:57It's Michael Angelo, Dean Levino.
00:31:58Do you still track people?
00:31:59Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:19You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:32:24Sorry.
00:32:25I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:26I kind of panicked.
00:32:27No worries.
00:32:28I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:32But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:35Talk to the bartender.
00:32:36Wow.
00:32:37The epic treatment.
00:32:38You look like one.
00:32:40Thanks, Jake.
00:32:43Hey.
00:32:44Lover boy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:48Find me in the green room after.
00:32:51Hope you like it.
00:32:52Break a leg.
00:32:53Lover boy.
00:32:57Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:16Before I do.
00:33:18You know what I want, babe.
00:33:21You know what I want.
00:33:25Good.
00:33:26Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:30One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:38Okay.
00:33:38Jake, you guys were great.
00:33:49You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:55You don't know the strokes.
00:33:59Are they older?
00:34:01I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:04It's all right.
00:34:05Lots of stuff to introduce you, too.
00:34:07You want something to drink?
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:17So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13.
00:34:23Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally
00:34:26going someplace.
00:34:28That's awesome.
00:34:29And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:34:34You're going to quit dog walking?
00:34:36I thought you liked it.
00:34:38I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much.
00:34:44I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:46A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:54I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that?
00:35:05I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:08Now I'm not sure.
00:35:09We have nothing in common.
00:35:11Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:13What the heck?
00:35:17I'm tipsy.
00:35:18He's cute.
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun.
00:35:21Now I can have mine.
00:35:22Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:39What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo Baby underwear model.
00:35:44He's not.
00:35:46You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:51Back off, dude.
00:35:52Back off.
00:35:53Grubby little hipster.
00:35:55She's my fiancée.
00:35:56So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:59Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:02I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not, Jake.
00:36:11This is for making me Uber all the way to fucking sober, Mike.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:25I can't believe you did that after your high and mighty speech.
00:36:27You're such a hypocrite.
00:36:29Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:31I'm just an Italian-American psycho.
00:36:34I'm not following you around.
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it.
00:36:38You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:36:42Me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:46Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:36:50I have a name.
00:36:53Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original.
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:58Oh, fine.
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to H.
00:37:01and get another one.
00:37:02I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:37:05You're treating me like shit.
00:37:08That's from the Renaissance.
00:37:09You're history's worst nightmare.
00:37:11I tried to make this work with you.
00:37:12We signed a contract.
00:37:13For an arranged marriage.
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:19You are such a simpleton.
00:37:23Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:37:23Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:27I tried to get along with you.
00:37:28You brought this on to yourself.
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:37:32Right back at you.
00:37:33I fucking hate you.
00:37:35I fucking hate you more.
00:37:37I wish I didn't get it, but what do you do?
00:37:47I wish I didn't get it, but what do you do?
00:38:01I wish I didn't get it, but what do you do?
00:38:31I wish I didn't get it, but what do you do?
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:03Uh-huh.
00:39:05We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08I know.
00:39:08We had too many drinks.
00:39:09We could just forget it ever happened.
00:39:11If that's what you want.
00:39:14Definitely.
00:39:15Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:20I should get up, too.
00:39:23Oh, my head.
00:39:25There's Pedialyte in the fridge.
00:39:26Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:30Of course.
00:39:31My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:36Well, you look great.
00:39:37Thanks.
00:39:38I don't feel great.
00:39:41The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:45You, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:39:49What's going on?
00:39:50So, Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:58For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:01We're taking it slow.
00:40:04Michelangelo.
00:40:05The male gigolo.
00:40:06Taking it slow.
00:40:07Hmm.
00:40:08Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:40:13And?
00:40:14How was it?
00:40:17Well...
00:40:17Really bad.
00:40:18Right?
00:40:19I knew it.
00:40:20Actually,
00:40:21it was the best sex I ever had.
00:40:24Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:29I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:35That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:37I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike,
00:40:40and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:42I feel like an arcade game,
00:40:44and he just keeps getting the high score again and again,
00:40:46and...
00:40:47you get the picture.
00:40:50Hey.
00:40:53Opposites attract.
00:40:54I mean,
00:40:55that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:58Because you're so different.
00:41:01Something like that.
00:41:01Here comes.
00:41:11Right on the schedule.
00:41:13Dog walkers in love with me.
00:41:16I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:18Weird.
00:41:18I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:31What was that about?
00:41:32Must be the hangover.
00:41:33Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:46Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:11Hey.
00:42:34Hi.
00:42:35We should talk.
00:42:37I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night, I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake,
00:42:49and we can just go back to hating each other
00:42:51like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand it.
00:42:55You just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one-night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it.
00:43:06I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech
00:43:13about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night,
00:43:17that you would.
00:43:18I mean...
00:43:18Frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:21Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:24I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:42Last night...
00:43:43I don't know how.
00:43:45I don't know why.
00:43:46That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:51Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:54I'm not a good actor.
00:43:56I could even do reality TV.
00:43:59But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:44:06You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:13Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it, too.
00:44:22Amelia.
00:44:22Please.
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it, too.
00:44:27I felt it, too.
00:44:32So why are we fighting it?
00:44:34I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me, too.
00:45:04So, I set the kitchen on fire?
00:45:15How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault.
00:45:21They should change the name.
00:45:24No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:45:27If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off espresso and martinis, and he almost sinks the boat.
00:45:39You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag, you're not so bad.
00:45:45Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this.
00:45:51Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:45:53I'm serious.
00:45:56The wedding's coming up.
00:45:59We could give it a shot.
00:46:01You mean, like, you and me.
00:46:03Together, together.
00:46:04Why not?
00:46:05Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:07Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:46:28Oh, hey, Royce.
00:46:31Jake?
00:46:32How's it going?
00:46:34Good.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:35Look, the other night was kind of...
00:46:38Crazy.
00:46:39I know.
00:46:40I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight.
00:46:46I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:52I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:46:58Well, I am his woman.
00:47:00He saw us together, and he got jealous.
00:47:03And I don't blame him.
00:47:04Oh, my God.
00:47:06Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:47:10I didn't mean to pry.
00:47:12Just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:47:15I'm here if you need to talk.
00:47:17Thanks, Jake.
00:47:18But I'm engaged.
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:47:25I thought we had a connection.
00:47:26You're a cat person.
00:47:28It never would have worked.
00:47:31Come on, Gucci.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36Cats are awesome.
00:47:37That was a great presentation.
00:47:44The marketing director loved her ideas for the new line.
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:47Ooh.
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:47:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:53Now, listen.
00:47:54I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci?
00:47:59Sure.
00:48:00But, I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty.
00:48:03Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:48:09At the dog park?
00:48:10Mm-hmm.
00:48:10I just texted her.
00:48:12It's all set.
00:48:13Now, go get a lover, boy.
00:48:16So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:33It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:48:37Let me try.
00:48:38That's okay.
00:48:40I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:48:43Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:50No.
00:48:51I like my work.
00:48:53What's the point of working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:48:57You're right.
00:48:58I should work less.
00:49:01If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:49:08Fetch Gucci.
00:49:13I've got a big surprise.
00:49:16A surprise?
00:49:17Just wait and see.
00:49:27Grazie, Enzo.
00:49:28Have a good night, Mr. Dino Bellino.
00:49:35What's that?
00:49:36A special delivery from Mastrione's Italian Deli?
00:49:42But Gucci?
00:49:44What's your favorite prosciutto?
00:49:47You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were off the clock today.
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion.
00:49:55I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:50:02I'm kidding.
00:50:04This is for us.
00:50:05Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:50:07What else is in the bag?
00:50:08Just some imported Italian ingredients so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:14That was so good.
00:50:30I feel like I just went to Italy, even though I've never been.
00:50:34How did you do this?
00:50:35I can't cook at all.
00:50:38Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:50:40Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:42No.
00:50:42My mom taught me.
00:50:44Tell me about her.
00:50:46I never told a girl about my mom.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51I don't mean to pray.
00:50:53She passed away when I was 11.
00:50:56Breast cancer.
00:50:58But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:51:01She grew up in a little village in Tuscany.
00:51:04She taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:51:07We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:51:12I still have all of her recipes here.
00:51:17Handwritten in Italian.
00:51:18That's really special.
00:51:22I miss her.
00:51:25This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:51:29It's not corny.
00:51:33But I didn't know you were such a softie.
00:51:35Just don't tell TMZ.
00:51:38What about your parents?
00:51:40My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:51:45It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:51:47I'm sorry.
00:51:48I just really hope these treatments work.
00:51:53I don't want to lose her, too.
00:51:57I'm sorry.
00:51:58Your story made me emotional.
00:52:00I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:52:02I'll help you.
00:52:02No, no, it's fine.
00:52:04I like doing the dishes.
00:52:05It relaxes me.
00:52:07Good.
00:52:08Because I hate them.
00:52:09Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:52:11Is it just the wine?
00:52:17Or am I really falling for him?
00:52:20Her.
00:52:23You don't want espresso.
00:52:29Hey.
00:52:34Hey.
00:52:36Do you want an espresso?
00:52:38I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:52:40No, thank you.
00:52:41I mean to have a morning meeting.
00:52:42I'm kind of in a rush.
00:52:43Okay, well, don't forget Gucci.
00:52:45How could I?
00:52:48Ready, bro?
00:52:49Well, let me fix your tie.
00:52:53What do you know about ties?
00:52:54You wear t-shirts to work.
00:52:56And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:53:00Touché.
00:53:01There you go.
00:53:02Okay, bye.
00:53:04Bye.
00:53:07Love you.
00:53:08Love you, too.
00:53:08Love you, too.
00:53:18Sorry.
00:53:20Reflex.
00:53:20I didn't mean to say that.
00:53:22Me neither.
00:53:23Too soon.
00:53:25Talk about it later?
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:28Okay.
00:53:29Okay.
00:53:30Ugh, could that have been any more awkward?
00:53:32And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:53:40Look who's here.
00:53:42Hey, my little guy.
00:53:45Hey, little Gucci.
00:53:47Look at this right here.
00:53:49Huh?
00:53:50Let's try it.
00:53:51Oh, yeah.
00:53:53Now, here's mine.
00:53:55Right?
00:53:56Just like that, huh?
00:53:58Yeah.
00:53:58Even got one for Big Brother.
00:54:00Right there.
00:54:01Here you go.
00:54:02Come to Papa.
00:54:03Yes, my boy.
00:54:05Heh, heh.
00:54:06All right, all right.
00:54:07So, we got to talk about this wedding, right?
00:54:10This is two weeks off.
00:54:12Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:12They're waiting for an answer.
00:54:14And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane.
00:54:17He says the band is free.
00:54:20You like Coldplay, right?
00:54:21Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:25Oh.
00:54:26Well, all right.
00:54:27Then we'll book the Magic Castle.
00:54:29How about that?
00:54:30Not too big.
00:54:30Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:54:33Dad, let's just pump the brakes.
00:54:35We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:54:37What?
00:54:37Something wrong with Amelia?
00:54:39No.
00:54:41Everything is great.
00:54:42It's better than great.
00:54:44Honestly.
00:54:45But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding.
00:54:48That's our thing.
00:54:50It's not Amelia's thing.
00:54:52I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:54:55Wow, I never thought of that.
00:54:58You know, you have a very good point there.
00:55:02I'm very impressed.
00:55:04You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:55:08I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:55:12Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:55:14Love?
00:55:17Yeah, love.
00:55:18I don't know.
00:55:20He's so cute.
00:55:22All right, all right.
00:55:24Change of deal.
00:55:25Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right?
00:55:27And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair.
00:55:30A wedding with Coldplay.
00:55:33No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:35No Coldplay.
00:55:36No Coldplay.
00:55:36So, it's about my cancer treatment.
00:55:47It's not working.
00:55:49I know it.
00:55:49I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:55:53And I'm cured.
00:55:55What?
00:55:56You're cured?
00:55:59Congratulations.
00:56:02I wasn't expecting it.
00:56:04I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:56:07It only took two sessions?
00:56:10I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:56:13Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:56:16What's wrong, sis?
00:56:17We should be celebrating.
00:56:20I brought Prosecco.
00:56:21No.
00:56:22Yeah.
00:56:23No, I'm good.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:26Amelia, I'm your sister.
00:56:28You can tell me anything.
00:56:29Is it Michelangelo?
00:56:33Is everything okay?
00:56:35If that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so
00:56:40far up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:56:43It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:56:47It's me.
00:56:50I have to tell you something.
00:56:55I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage.
00:57:00What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:57:03It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:57:06And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:57:09Actually, he's not that bad.
00:57:13I kind of like him.
00:57:15Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:57:18We need to get you out of there.
00:57:21Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:57:26But what about the tabloid stories?
00:57:30You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:57:33They banned him for life.
00:57:35You'll never go to Epcot.
00:57:37He's not actually like the stories.
00:57:40Or at least not to me.
00:57:42He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:57:45Amelia, if you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:57:53What if you meet him?
00:57:55Yeah.
00:57:57Meet him.
00:57:58Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:57:59Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:58:01Don't count on it.
00:58:03Please, me.
00:58:04Just give him a chance.
00:58:07Fine.
00:58:08Yes.
00:58:09Only one.
00:58:10Yes.
00:58:10You won't regret it.
00:58:14I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:58:18You better bring the whole bottle.
00:58:23Thank you for making dinner.
00:58:25Of course.
00:58:26I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:58:28We need to celebrate.
00:58:32Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:58:37You mean besides me?
00:58:39I'm serious.
00:58:40It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:58:43Have a glass of wine.
00:58:46Tonight's going to be great.
00:58:56It's enormous.
00:59:00Why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:05It's nice to see you too, sis.
00:59:07Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:59:13So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:59:22How about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:59:24$96 Dom Perignon?
00:59:26Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
00:59:29Yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
00:59:32It's worth more than my car.
00:59:33Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:37$8.99 at Ralph's.
00:59:39It's delicious.
00:59:42This was made in France.
00:59:44Sorry, can't touch that stuff.
00:59:47So, who wants a drink?
00:59:49You hardly touch your food.
01:00:11It's a little too rich for me.
01:00:18Mine tastes great.
01:00:20So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:00:27You don't mind, do you?
01:00:30Fire away.
01:00:30So, I know you two have been having your fun.
01:00:37Um, but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:44I don't think it's going to.
01:00:45That's cute and all, but what about her career?
01:00:50Are you going to support her?
01:00:52Or kids, what's your stance on that?
01:00:54Or are you just going to jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Betsy!
01:00:59Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
01:01:05We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:01:08See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
01:01:11You two are getting married and you barely know each other.
01:01:14We know it all.
01:01:16Easy Betsy.
01:01:18I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
01:01:22And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:01:25And what makes you such an expert?
01:01:28I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:01:31Michelangelo.
01:01:31You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
01:01:34It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
01:01:36She gets it from you.
01:01:38Are you going to let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:40You started it.
01:01:47Why don't we all just calm down?
01:01:51Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:01:52No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:01:56That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:01:58She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:02:00You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:02:02And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:02:06You know what?
01:02:06You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:02:08That's my sister.
01:02:09She just survived cancer.
01:02:13That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:02:16This is my house, too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:02:19Not to me.
01:02:20You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:02:21I don't like this side of you.
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:02:26but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:02:28You told her?
01:02:30She's my sister.
01:02:31I don't care.
01:02:31That violates our agreement.
01:02:33Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:02:35A contractual agreement?
01:02:36Some kind of obligation?
01:02:38It's not what I meant.
01:02:39It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:02:41I love you.
01:02:43You love me?
01:02:44Don't listen to him.
01:02:46He doesn't even know what that means.
01:02:47Shut the fuck up!
01:02:48You know what?
01:02:50Maybe she was right.
01:02:51I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:02:53It's over.
01:02:59We need to get out of here.
01:03:02I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:03:06Amelia, I know this is hard to hear, but you did the right thing.
01:03:17You do so much better than him.
01:03:20Yeah, but he isn't a monster.
01:03:23I shouldn't have said that.
01:03:25We can talk about it on the road.
01:03:27Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:03:31Play low for a bit.
01:03:33Mexico?
01:03:33Or Canada.
01:03:35Whatever.
01:03:36It's that, or stay here and get sued by the Dino Lavinos.
01:03:40Or worse.
01:03:41I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:03:44I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:03:47It's not like I told the media.
01:03:49You don't know that.
01:03:51We're liabilities.
01:03:53Loose ends.
01:03:54You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:03:56Get rid of that thing that could be tracking us right now.
01:04:05Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the ecoplex the other day.
01:04:10See?
01:04:12He could have a sniper on us.
01:04:17It's Romulus.
01:04:19Hey, Romulus.
01:04:21What?
01:04:21What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:26Oh, you came.
01:04:39Against my better judgment.
01:04:41I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:04:44I've just been busy, but it's over with now.
01:04:48Well, you should punish me for straying.
01:04:52You make me sick.
01:04:56I make me sick.
01:05:05Nice underwear.
01:05:10It's great craftsmanship.
01:05:11Okay.
01:05:16Let's get this over with.
01:05:21Is that all you have to say?
01:05:23Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:26I'm sorry, Chantel.
01:05:30I thought I wanted this.
01:05:33But I don't.
01:05:34I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:41Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:46It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:52Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair.
01:05:55I am fucking devastated.
01:05:58And all her wishes I could take back how I acted.
01:06:00I just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:07There.
01:06:13Amelia?
01:06:15Hi, Dad.
01:06:18Gucci's gone?
01:06:20I'll be right there.
01:06:23What?
01:06:27Gucci, Gucci.
01:06:28Romulus.
01:06:30What?
01:06:30Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden, he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back.
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah.
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:52Good.
01:06:53Gucci.
01:06:54This better not be a trap.
01:06:56Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci.
01:07:00Gucci.
01:07:00Gucci.
01:07:01Gucci.
01:07:01Gucci.
01:07:02Gucci.
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey, where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:04I thought you were both together.
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:08Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastrionis.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17This doesn't ring out of hiding.
01:07:18Nothing will.
01:07:19Smart move, kid.
01:07:22Here, ladies.
01:07:23Take a piece of this prosciutto.
01:07:24Yeah, that's it.
01:07:25Yeah.
01:07:25Ha, ha, ha.
01:07:29Give me the irk.
01:07:32Gucci.
01:07:33Gucci.
01:07:37Gucci.
01:07:41Gucci.
01:07:47He's hopeless.
01:07:49We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:53We're never gonna find him.
01:07:55Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:55He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:58Keep looking.
01:07:58He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:07:59See, they're not gonna kill us.
01:08:04I do have to admit, though,
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:08He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:19Gucci.
01:08:23Gucci.
01:08:24My boy's back.
01:08:26Oh.
01:08:26Oh.
01:08:27Oh.
01:08:29Okay, okay.
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:43I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:53It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:08:59Amelia.
01:09:01Can we talk?
01:09:05Please?
01:09:09Amelia.
01:09:10Can we talk?
01:09:13Please?
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:16Amelia, I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:30I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:09:34I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:46I needed to hear that.
01:09:49And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:51You're not one.
01:09:53You're not one.
01:09:55I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:58Most of them are good.
01:10:01I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:04I'm not.
01:10:08You're not?
01:10:08What do you mean?
01:10:09Amelia, this might sound crazy, but I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:19And I don't want some silly piece of paper to be the reason that we stay together.
01:10:23I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:29Dad.
01:10:30What is it, son?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:10:36Why, son?
01:10:38Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:41And not because of some legal obligation,
01:10:45but because she wants to.
01:10:48I want to.
01:10:53Consider our contracts null and void.
01:11:02Amelia.
01:11:04What will it be?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:17You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:11:36And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:39Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:42All right, all right, you two.
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast, Italian style.
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved.
01:12:06Especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:10It was worth a try.
01:12:11And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:39Michelangelo?
01:12:41Uh, Amelia.
01:12:45Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time, and not just about dogs.
01:12:58I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:02I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:30Amelia, you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:34I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model, but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell, and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:13:55Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:14:03And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime, in a good way.
01:14:08With the power vested in me by Almighty God, and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:31Thanks.
01:14:33I'm Betsy, Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake.
01:14:37Another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy.
01:14:41You know, given my sister.
01:14:42But I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too.
01:14:48Let's clap.
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