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Max investigates a Washington museum where KAOS is smuggling agents into the country in mummy cases.
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00:00The End
00:30I just never get tired of this business.
00:45I think I just hurt myself.
01:00Wake up. Wake up.
01:07They're after me.
01:08They tried to kidnap me.
01:10Don't let them get me.
01:11Please, you must help me.
01:13There, there now.
01:14You're perfectly safe here.
01:16Now, why don't you just sit back here and relax
01:18and tell me who you are.
01:21I'm Miss United States.
01:24Miss United States?
01:25That's an odd name for a girl.
01:27Well, it's just my title.
01:28My real name is Tisha.
01:31I came in town for the beauty contest.
01:33My daddy told me to come to you if I needed help.
01:37Your daddy? Who's that?
01:39Herman Heinzschmidt.
01:41Of course.
01:43Herman Heinzschmidt, the famous American scientist.
01:47Now, that clears up a lot of questions.
01:50Let's see.
01:51The chief should still be in his office.
01:53Look, you just sit back and take it easy.
01:55I'm going to call the chief.
01:56Everything's going to be all right.
01:58Hello, chief.
02:06This is Max.
02:07I've got a code 16 on my hands.
02:10Code 16?
02:11Hang on, Max.
02:11We'll get you out.
02:14All personnel, red alert.
02:15Code 16.
02:16Code 16.
02:17Code 16.
02:24Chief.
02:25Oh, William, did you take this?
02:31Larrabee.
02:33Jones.
02:36Hang on, Max.
02:38Chief, will you stop all that yelling so I can tell you about my code 19?
02:4219?
02:43I thought you said 16.
02:4516, 19.
02:46What's the difference?
02:47About $5,000.
02:49$5,000.
02:55All personnel.
02:57All personnel.
02:58Code 16 canceled.
03:00All clear.
03:01Repeat.
03:01All clear.
03:02Max, I wish you'd study your manual.
03:08Sorry about that, chief, but I've never had a code 19 before.
03:12As a matter of fact, I've never had a code 16 before.
03:15All right, Max.
03:15You've got a code 19.
03:17Woman being pursued by an unknown assailant, right?
03:20Right.
03:20Who is she?
03:22She's the daughter of Herman Heinzschmidt, the famous American scientist.
03:26Well, you'd better let her stay there tonight.
03:28Right, chief.
03:28I'll call you in the morning.
03:30No, hold on a minute, Max.
03:31You're spending the night at my apartment.
03:33Well, chief, is that advisable with a code 19?
03:36That's an order, Max.
03:37Herman Heinzschmidt is a personal friend of mine.
03:39I'm not going to let his daughter spend the night with an unmarried agent.
03:43Chief, do you know how long it'll take to get a married agent over here?
03:47Max, I don't want any agent over there.
03:50Give her a gun to protect yourself and tell her not to open the door for anyone.
03:55Right, chief.
03:58I'm going upstairs and change my clothes.
04:00I'll be down in a few minutes.
04:01If you need me, just call.
04:07All right, teacher, I have to go now.
04:09But here's what I want you to do.
04:12I want you to take this gun.
04:14And if anybody comes to that door, I don't care how innocent he looks.
04:17I want you to shoot first and ask questions later.
04:20You understand?
04:21I understand.
04:23I'm Mr. Smart.
04:24Now, you can call me Max.
04:25Max?
04:30You're welcome.
04:37One more thing.
04:38One more thing.
04:44One more thing.
04:47One more thing.
05:48Is that you, Mr. Smart?
05:51Yes, it's me, Max. Open up.
05:53How did you find out about that?
06:03How'd I find out about what?
06:05The secret panel.
06:06That's my own personal and highly secretive invention.
06:09Oh, how exciting.
06:10Hmm.
06:10Yes, I use it so I can get in when I forget my keys.
06:14What are you wearing?
06:16Oh, I took the liberty of borrowing a pair of your pajamas. I hope you don't mind.
06:20No, that's all right.
06:22My, you are a neat man, Mr. Smart.
06:24Oh, thank you, Tisha.
06:25Shirts in one drawer and socks in another drawer.
06:29Classified information in another drawer.
06:32I couldn't get the top drawer open, though.
06:34I always keep that drawer locked.
06:36Why? What's in it?
06:38Pajama bottoms.
06:39Listen, Tisha.
06:40You better get dressed.
06:41We've got to go downtown to control headquarters and see the chief.
06:44He wants you to look at some pictures so that maybe you can identify your would-be abductors.
06:49Oh, I'll hurry.
06:50Now, wait a minute, Tisha.
06:51Did anybody try to get in here last night?
06:53No.
06:54Your landlord came to the door, but I wouldn't let him in.
06:56Good girl.
06:57What did he want?
06:58He wanted to know if there was a girl in your apartment.
07:00I told him no.
07:02Good.
07:02What did he say to that?
07:04He said you better take something for your cold.
07:06Yes, well, why don't you go get dressed, Tisha?
07:11I'll hurry.
07:13And, uh, don't put those pajama tops in with the classified information.
07:18It's not on a terrible danger, aren't it?
07:21Yes, Tisha, but don't worry about it.
07:22You're in good hands.
07:24You'll be protected 24 hours around the clock
07:26by a control agent who is highly intelligent,
07:29extremely perceptive, and absolutely fearless.
07:33Oh.
07:34What's the matter?
07:35Well, I was hoping it would be you.
07:48Miss Heinz-Schmidt, this is the Chief.
07:50Chief, this is Miss Heinz-Schmidt.
07:52Miss Heinz-Schmidt.
07:52Hi.
07:53Uh, Miss Heinz-Schmidt,
07:55do you think you could identify the men
07:56who tried to kidnap you last night?
07:57I'm afraid not.
07:58It was dark.
07:59I couldn't see.
08:01Well, I can confirm that, Chief.
08:02Last night was a very dark night.
08:04Well, who'd want to kidnap the little old me?
08:07Your father is a very valuable scientist.
08:09There are certain people who'd like to get hold of him.
08:12Like who?
08:13Tisha, there's an organization of shrewd, determined men
08:16who have been trying to get control of this country for a number of years.
08:19Perhaps you've heard of them.
08:20Oh, you mean the Republicans.
08:25No, we mean chaos.
08:27Chaos?
08:29Yes.
08:30A monstrous organization of evil
08:32dedicated to the destruction of the free world
08:35and the systematic subjugation
08:37of every man, woman, and child on this planet.
08:40Oh, my daddy wouldn't work for them.
08:42He hates to see children subjugated.
08:44Miss Heinz-Schmidt.
08:45Would you call me Miss USA?
08:47It sounds so much nicer than Miss Heinz-Schmidt.
08:51Miss USA, it's obvious you're in great danger.
08:54I must recommend that you withdraw from the contest.
08:57Withdraw from the contest?
08:59Well, I can't.
09:00I simply can't.
09:01But your life may be at stake.
09:03It doesn't matter.
09:04I love this contest
09:06and all that it stands for.
09:08Beauty, cooperation, friendliness,
09:11and $10,000 in prize money.
09:16Chief, did I talk to you for a minute?
09:18Yes, ma'am.
09:19Excuse us.
09:22Chief, she just gave me an idea.
09:24Forget it, Max.
09:25No, Chief, you don't understand.
09:27It's obvious from what this girl tells us
09:29that chaos has infiltrated this contest.
09:31Now, if we want to ferret them out,
09:33we're going to need this girl's help.
09:35It's dangerous, but she seems willing.
09:37Yes, well, what we have to do
09:38is assign a control agent to her.
09:40Someone the girl can trust.
09:41Max, I want you to stay by her side
09:4524 hours a day in Garter.
09:47This is your case, Max.
09:48All right, Chief, but there's one problem.
09:50I'm going to be the only man there.
09:52Those girls will all be trying to make a play for me.
09:54Why, they'll be all over me like a swarm of locusts.
09:57So what's the problem?
09:58Well, when am I going to find time to work on the case?
10:04Now, Carlson,
10:05I always wanted to wear one of these opera hats.
10:08It's neat the way they fold up.
10:10It's fine!
10:11That hat doesn't fold.
10:14Well, I can see that.
10:18Hold on!
10:22Say, Carlson,
10:23it's a good thing I got this umbrella.
10:25Oh, my God.
10:25Can you tell me about the camera?
10:37I was just about to.
10:42Give me the umbrella, Max.
10:44Be careful, Chief.
10:45It's not only an umbrella,
10:46it's a rifle.
10:47I know, Max.
10:48And it also has a high-speed camera in the handle.
10:51This is the lens and this is the shutter release.
10:54Oh, I get it, Chief.
10:55If a chaos agent attacks me,
10:57I can take his picture.
11:00Max, the purpose of this umbrella
11:01is to take pictures of the contestants.
11:04Get the film back here.
11:05We'll process them
11:05and put them through the computer.
11:08Chief,
11:09do you think it's fair to judge the girls on looks alone?
11:12Max,
11:12we are not judging the contest.
11:14I have a suspicion
11:15that one of the entrants
11:16is a chaos plant.
11:18Now, the computer will make the identification.
11:20You've got to take a picture
11:21of every girl in that contest.
11:23In bathing suits?
11:24Any way you want.
11:25Okay, bathing suits.
11:27Max,
11:27if my hunch proves correct,
11:29one of the photos
11:30will identify a beautiful chaos agent.
11:33Well,
11:33what'll we do
11:34with the rest of the pictures, Chief?
11:35And what do you suggest?
11:3850-50?
11:3950-50?
11:3950-50?
11:4050-50?
11:4150-50?
11:4250-50?
11:4350-50?
11:4450-50?
11:4550-50?
11:4650-50?
11:4750-50?
11:4850-50?
11:4950-50?
11:5050-50?
11:5150-50?
11:5250-50?
11:5350-50?
11:5450-50?
11:5550-50?
11:5650-50?
11:5750-50?
11:5850-50?
11:5950-50?
12:0050-50?
12:0150-50?
12:0250-50?
12:0350-50?
12:0450-50?
12:0550-50?
12:0650-50?
12:0750-50?
12:08Come, we go.
12:26Did you ever see so many gorgeous females?
12:37Well, Tisha, to me, this is just another job.
12:43Let's go.
12:52What happened?
12:54You fell over the luggage.
12:56Right.
12:56Don't make a sound.
13:06We have to check out this entire suite
13:08and make sure it isn't bugged.
13:10You take the bedroom, I'll take the living room.
13:11You take the bedroom, I'll take the bedroom.
13:22You take the bedroom.
13:25Did you find anything?
13:45Nope, did you?
13:45No.
13:46Well, what do we do now?
13:47Call the desk and have the maid make up the room.
13:49Gosh, Mr. Smart, you're too nice to be a secret agent.
13:56Well, there are good secret agents and there are bad secret agents.
13:59There are?
14:00Well, what's the difference?
14:01Well, the good secret agents are on our side.
14:03The bad secret agents are on their side.
14:06Oh, this is room 613.
14:08Would you send a maid up, please?
14:10Golly, Mr. Smart, you sure are taking good care, little old me.
14:13I sure hope there won't be any trouble.
14:15Well, I don't think there will be, Tisha.
14:18Although there's something that's been bothering me.
14:20Somehow I feel that I've seen that face somewhere before.
14:24What face?
14:25The face on that fat, stupid chaperone.
14:28So I'm fat and stupid, eh?
14:30Quiet.
14:31You're bored to lose a little weight, stupid.
14:34You pay for this, Mr. Maxwell Smart?
14:36Maxwell Smart?
14:37Yes.
14:38Are you certain?
14:39Yes.
14:39I saw his picture in post office at Chaos Headquarters.
14:42Well, then I assume the presence of Mr. Maxwell Smart will change the nature of our mission.
14:48Yes.
14:49Before we get the girl, we must kill Smart.
14:52But how?
14:52We are under strict orders to do nothing that will attract attention to ourselves.
14:56Yes.
14:57Wait.
14:59There is to be a cocktail party this afternoon in suite of Miss USA, no?
15:04Yes.
15:04What better way to commit a quiet murder than in a noisy party?
15:18Pardon me, but could you tell me where the hors d'oeuvres are?
15:21I was looking for a piece of cheese.
15:23Cheese?
15:24Would you like some champagne?
15:27No, I'm sorry, but I'm not drinking.
15:29I notice you're not drinking either.
15:31It's humble costume to drink only tea.
15:33I took the privilege of ordering some.
15:37Ah, here it is now.
15:42Come at me, please.
15:47Would you care to join me?
15:48Good idea.
15:51Do you like the tea strong?
15:54Yeah, just a couple of more dunks, please.
15:59Here, I'll take that.
16:05To your health.
16:07To yours.
16:18I've heard of strong tea, but this is ridiculous.
16:20Honey.
16:24Are you enjoying yourself?
16:30Oh, yes.
16:31Thank you very much.
16:32It's a delightful party.
16:34Yes, it is.
16:36American men.
16:37Mmm.
16:38So exciting.
16:40So suave.
16:41So...
16:41So double-nive.
16:43Thank you for saying so.
16:48You've just put the mid-end of the cigarette in your mouth.
16:54Yes.
16:54Well, that way I don't get too many ashes on the floor.
17:03Oh, I feel terribly warm.
17:05Would you be kind enough to open a window?
17:08Certainly.
17:08Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?
17:18I would like to propose a toast to the ladies of the contest.
17:23The most beautiful girls in the world.
17:25What happened?
17:36Well, either Chaos just lost one of its agents or the people in this hotel just aren't tipping enough.
17:42Here's your umbrella.
17:43Have you taken enough pictures yet?
17:44Are you kidding?
17:45I'm on my third handle.
17:47Listen, I've got to get the film from this back to the laboratory and have it run through the computer.
17:53Then we'll know which one of the contestants is the rotten, vicious, evil, chaos killer.
17:57Oh, I hope it's nobody nice.
18:02Look, the party is beginning to break up.
18:04Now I'm going to leave.
18:04I want you to stay here in this room.
18:06Don't budge.
18:07Have you still got the gun I gave you last night?
18:09I sure have.
18:10Where is it?
18:10On the table next to the bed.
18:12Good.
18:12Back at your apartment.
18:16Have you got a headache?
18:23Carlson, this film was smuggled out of Chaos headquarters.
18:26Now it contains pictures of their top staff, code books, and maps of their global network.
18:31Now you've got to be especially careful with it.
18:33It cannot be duplicated.
18:34I'll stand by while you're developing.
18:36I understand, Chief.
18:36I'll use extra fine developer.
18:38Uh, would you close the door, please?
18:39Oh, yeah.
18:43Careful now.
18:45Carlson!
18:46Anybody here?
18:49Carlson, are you in there?
18:51Don't be here!
18:56What you got there, Chief?
18:59Nothing, Max.
19:00Absolutely nothing.
19:02Well, I've got something here.
19:04Pictures of every girl at that hotel.
19:07Process it, Carlson.
19:10Carlson, have you noticed that the Chief is getting a little moody lately?
19:14Yes.
19:14Miss Transmania?
19:19We've identified her as the chaos agent.
19:22Now look at this picture.
19:24Who's this, Chief?
19:26That's Dmitry Sokolov, a deadly chaos agent.
19:29Now look at this picture.
19:30Why, that's Miss Transmania's chaperone.
19:34Wrong, Max.
19:35That's Sokolov.
19:36That's Sokolov?
19:37What's he been taking, hormones?
19:40Max, Sokolov is not her chaperone.
19:41He's her husband.
19:43These chaos agents are in the room next to teachers.
19:46I've got to get back to the hotel.
19:47She's in danger.
19:49Max, whatever you do, remember rule five of code 19.
19:52Uh, I've forgotten rule five, Chief.
19:55But I know rule six.
19:57Rule six?
19:58Yes, Chief.
19:59Rule six states that all control agents must memorize rule five before proceeding to rule six.
20:07Yes, Chief.
20:08Do the words get out mean anything to you?
20:10Sonic.
20:11No, no, no, no, no, no.
20:41Well, she started it.
20:53All right.
20:54Inside.
20:55Come on, move.
21:00All right, get over there.
21:02Okay, let the girl go.
21:05Now back up against that wall.
21:07Come on, move.
21:08Now turn around and put your hands up.
21:11Come in.
21:18Miss Formosa.
21:20Well, this is no time for tea.
21:22It's always time for tea.
21:24Tea refreshes.
21:29Good work, Carmen.
21:30You will receive a hero's medal from our government.
21:33Ow!
21:33You see, my country also wants daughter of famous American scientist.
21:40But we're all working for the same cause.
21:44Comrade, we're all members of chaos.
21:47That is true.
21:49But your brand of chaos is weak and confused.
21:52Only in our country is there pure chaos.
21:54And now, Mr. Smart, you're about to become an ex-control agent.
22:00Wait a minute.
22:01Couldn't I just resign?
22:02Oh!
22:02Golly, gee, that wasn't very nice, was it?
22:15No, it wasn't.
22:17But I must say that you've handled yourself very well, Tisha,
22:20in the midst of all this violence and horror and deceit.
22:23Well, after all, it is my third beauty contest.
22:39Max, you did a fine job.
22:41Well, thank you, Chief.
22:42You know, there's one thing that puzzles me about all this, though.
22:44I don't understand how the computer failed to identify the chaos agent
22:48who was posing as Miss Formosa.
22:50I'm sure I sent in a picture of her.
22:52Let me show you, Max.
22:53Look, here are different girls from that same area of the world.
22:58Now, this one is the chaos agent.
23:00This one is a student.
23:02This is the real contestant.
23:04This one's a dental technician.
23:06The computer's only human, after all.
23:08I see, Chief.
23:09To the computer, they all looked alike.
23:14Hello?
23:16Oh, yes, Carlson, right away.
23:18I have to go down to the lab to see Carlson.
23:20Wait here, Max.
23:20I'll be right back.
23:21Right, Chief.
23:23Control headquarters.
23:33Code 16?
23:34Hang on, 27.
23:35We'll get you out.
23:38Now, hear this.
23:39Now, hear this.
23:39Old personnel, stand by.
23:41Code 16.
23:41Code 16.
23:42Red alert.
23:43Red alert.
23:44Red alert.
23:44Now, let me take this.
23:54Max, who's signing the Code 16?
23:56Agent 27, Chief.
23:57Contact the White House.
23:59Chief, what is a Code 16?
24:00Invasion from out of space.
24:01Put me through to the President.
24:03Code 27, this is the Chief.
24:04Who is it?
24:04The Martians?
24:06Code 15?
24:07Max is a Code 15, not 16.
24:14Missed it by that much.
24:15I'm sorry.
24:18I'm sorry.
24:26É.
24:29See you?
24:29No.
24:29Nein.
24:30No.
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