- yesterday
Married to a superstar as the housewife full movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:00:02You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:00:05Sweet?
00:00:06We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:00:11Look at them!
00:00:12That's what we call sweet.
00:00:14I wish my hubby was like that.
00:00:17Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:00:19You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:00:21Aubrey!
00:00:22Let me sprint!
00:00:24Wait!
00:00:25Wait!
00:00:26Stop!
00:00:27All right, enough!
00:00:32Cut it out!
00:00:33I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:00:40Look at yourself.
00:00:41Sloppy.
00:00:42You're rude.
00:00:44Totally unfeminine.
00:00:47I want a divorce.
00:00:49Crazy lady.
00:00:57Karma will get that scumbag.
00:01:00No need for karma.
00:01:01I can handle this myself.
00:01:02Hand me the car key.
00:01:13Chris.
00:01:14Leo snucked the role you wanted.
00:01:16No way.
00:01:17Why him?
00:01:18I cannot understand that.
00:01:20He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:01:25The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:01:29Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:01:33But what about you?
00:01:34You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:01:39What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years.
00:01:46But she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:01:50You think that would lend me the role?
00:01:52Sounds more like excused me.
00:01:54That's not good enough, huh?
00:01:56All right.
00:01:57Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:02:01Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:02:06Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:02:09But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
00:02:13All right.
00:02:16I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:02:23Damn it!
00:02:24Fuck.
00:02:31I'm so sorry.
00:02:32Are you nuts?
00:02:33Nuts?
00:02:36Is that all your men got?
00:02:38Yeah.
00:02:39I'm nuts.
00:02:40But you guys, eat don't cook by nuts.
00:02:42Sleep with nuts.
00:02:43Have kids with nuts.
00:02:44You are the real nuts here.
00:02:46No offense.
00:02:47But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:02:49I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:02:54Only supermodels!
00:02:58Screw you for Chris Roberts!
00:03:00Shit!
00:03:10Shit!
00:03:17I sold the house.
00:03:18You've got till tonight to move out.
00:03:20Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:03:22get thrown away. If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead! But how dare you sell our
00:03:30house without my consent! I'll sue you! Think you can afford a lawyer? Don't mess
00:03:37with me or apply for custody for our staff. A jobless housewife like you won't stand
00:03:42a chance. Despicable! So, you divorced? It's none of your business! Marry me!
00:03:52Are you insane? My car's worth four million dollars. You want to talk about
00:04:04marriage or compensation? This way, ma'am.
00:04:13Watch us stop, ma'am.
00:04:22Welcome, ma'am.
00:04:33Wow! So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue. I've seen it in a magazine.
00:04:40So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage? No. This is for Elizabeth, my dog. Yours is upstairs.
00:05:00Bigger and better. Forget that. Come sign the contract.
00:05:08Sign this, and you will be my wife. Sorry, what's your name again?
00:05:11Aubrey. Okay. Aubrey, listen to me. I love you for more than 10 years. I heard that you're divorced.
00:05:22So, I popped the question right away.
00:05:24What? Really?
00:05:26Are you kidding me? Aubrey, this marriage is just for show. I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:05:35Relax. Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:05:38Great. That's amazing. Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:05:46So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar? Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:05:55Don't worry about that. I'm gonna pay you an acting salary. The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:06:01You're Chris Roberts. Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:06:05Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage. Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:06:11And now, 150K. That's enough for you.
00:06:14Per year? Per month, of course.
00:06:31So, you have a son? Don't get me wrong. Just want to know more about my wife.
00:06:36Yeah. His name is Luke. He's nine. In summer camp, I'm aware of the divorce.
00:06:49Good lord. That looks calorie packed.
00:07:02First, it's not for you. Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:07:08Jeez. Touchy. It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:07:14Keep that up. Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow. We're meeting the director.
00:07:20Already?
00:07:22This is your first time stepping out as my wife and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:07:26Need to dress up nicely, alright? Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:07:32Come on. This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:07:35I'll solve this problem right now. Hey, Brad. Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:07:45Oh my god. I didn't expect this to be such a huge project. But luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
00:07:54All right, girls. Let's get going. Right here.
00:07:59I got it.
00:08:08Are you okay, buddy?
00:08:10Sit down. Watch out.
00:08:11Please calm down.
00:08:12Can't you sit up back here?
00:08:13Sit down.
00:08:14Get him out of here.
00:08:15Oh my god. Are you okay, baby?
00:08:16Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:08:27She's my wife now. So yes, it's worth it.
00:08:32Baby Ro, I did my best today. Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:08:46How do I look?
00:08:54Wow. You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:09:00Wow. You sure ain't sure of that ass. Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:09:07Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
00:09:11That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:09:14Let's go, girls.
00:09:15Thank you so much, guys.
00:09:16No problem, baby.
00:09:19Jeez. How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:09:24Just like Kardashians. Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:09:30God is fair. Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbridled confidence.
00:09:36Wow. You're totally gonna nail that role now. We look so perfect together.
00:09:45It's a match made in heaven.
00:09:47No, no, no. There's no spark between you two. You don't love your wife at all.
00:10:03I'm sorry that I can't give you this rule. But we haven't even started talking.
00:10:07You know the law talk is about feeling. I don't feel your love for her.
00:10:12He's crazy about me. The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:10:21I love you, baby. That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:10:26Come back to me or you'll learn to be a proper help.
00:10:35Jeez.
00:10:36Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:10:41Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:10:44Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water? Any steak?
00:10:47Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:10:52You guessed right.
00:10:56Oh, much better now.
00:11:10Can you eat quieter? You're disturbing my reading.
00:11:22You're married? What's up?
00:11:24What? Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:11:27Yeah, of course. I can cover your shift today.
00:11:31Where are you going?
00:11:32The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:11:43Aubrey, what are you doing here? You're not stalking me, are you?
00:11:48Listen, stop harassing me. Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:11:54Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too. It's not just you who found someone new.
00:11:59Jim!
00:12:00I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:12:03I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:12:12If he's so great, when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:12:18Come on, man. Don't just stand there. Serve us.
00:12:20I want hot tea.
00:12:34Jeez. You trying to scald me?
00:12:36Are you satisfied now?
00:12:48That's better. Drink up, dear.
00:12:52Ouch! This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:12:57Check out my engagement ring from Mark. It's whopping two carrots.
00:13:02I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:13:11Wow, good for you. And when you guys eventually split,
00:13:16you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:13:20Don't stoop to our level. You, go and get the steaks ready in 10 minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:13:29I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:13:32Then figured it out.
00:13:35Wait.
00:13:37Tub off my water.
00:13:44Mary, you owe me a proper meal. I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:13:50I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:13:52Aubrey, why are you waitressing?
00:13:55We're not really married. What I do is none of your business.
00:14:01Let's go.
00:14:01The advertisers are waiting.
00:14:05Keep an eye on her. Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:14:09I'm not her agent.
00:14:10But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:14:12Okay guys, if you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:14:16Oh my god. My rain. It's gone.
00:14:22Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my rain.
00:14:26Just because you're a bitch, doesn't mean everyone is.
00:14:29I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:14:33Denying won't help.
00:14:36It's only you somewhere.
00:14:37See? This is proof.
00:14:46I'm gonna have you fired.
00:14:49No way! You're framing me on purpose.
00:14:57Got it. Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:14:59You and your husband are so sweet.
00:15:05You always remembered to buy his favorite pizza.
00:15:08Sweet?
00:15:09We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:15:14Look at them.
00:15:15That's what we call sweet.
00:15:17I wish my hubby was like that.
00:15:21That's actually my husband!
00:15:22You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:15:24What?
00:15:24Aubrey!
00:15:25Let me explain!
00:15:27Wait, wait, wait!
00:15:28Wait!
00:15:29Wait!
00:15:29Stop!
00:15:33Alright, enough!
00:15:35Cut it out!
00:15:37I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:15:44Look at yourself.
00:15:45Sloppy.
00:15:46You're rude.
00:15:48Totally.
00:15:49All feminine.
00:15:50I want a divorce.
00:15:52Crazy lady.
00:15:58The apartment will get that scumbag.
00:16:03No need for karma.
00:16:04I can handle this myself.
00:16:05Hand me the car key.
00:16:16Chris, Leo snuck the rule you wanted.
00:16:18No way. Why him? I cannot understand that. He has fewer Instagram followers than me, and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:16:28The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife. Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:16:35But what about you? You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:16:42What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years, but she's married, and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her? You think that would lend me the role?
00:16:54Sounds more like excused me.
00:16:57That's not good enough, huh?
00:16:59Alright, do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her, vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:17:09Now that's a story people might buy into. But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
00:17:16Alright.
00:17:19I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:17:25Damn it!
00:17:27Fuck.
00:17:34I'm so sorry.
00:17:35Are you nuts?
00:17:36Nuts?
00:17:39Is that all your men got?
00:17:41Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:17:42But you guys eat food cooked by nuts.
00:17:44Sleep with nuts.
00:17:45Have kids with nuts.
00:17:46You are the real nuts here.
00:17:48No offense.
00:17:49But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:17:51I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:17:54Only supermodels!
00:17:58Screw you fuck Chris Roberts!
00:18:02Chris Roberts!
00:18:12Shit!
00:18:20I sold the house.
00:18:21You got till tonight to move out.
00:18:23Or your stuff will get thrown away.
00:18:26If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:18:29Go ahead!
00:18:30But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:18:35I'll sue you!
00:18:36Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:18:38Don't mess with me!
00:18:39Don't mess with me!
00:18:40Or a fight for custody for our son!
00:18:42A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance!
00:18:45It's a pickleball!
00:18:47So, you divorced?
00:18:49It's none of your business!
00:18:51Marry me!
00:18:52Marry me!
00:18:59Are you insane?
00:19:03My car's worth 4 million dollars.
00:19:06You want to talk about marriage?
00:19:08Or compensation?
00:19:11This way, ma'am.
00:19:16Watch your step, ma'am.
00:19:22Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:25Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:36Wow!
00:19:37So, it's your house at 5th Central Avenue.
00:19:39I've seen it in a magazine.
00:19:41So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:19:58No.
00:19:59This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:20:01Yours is upstairs.
00:20:02Bigger and better.
00:20:04Forget that.
00:20:05Come sign the contract.
00:20:07Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:20:13Sorry, what's your name again?
00:20:15Aubrey.
00:20:16Okay.
00:20:17Aubrey, listen to me.
00:20:19I love you for more than 10 years.
00:20:22I heard that you're divorced.
00:20:24So, I popped the question right away.
00:20:27What?
00:20:29Really?
00:20:30Are you kidding me?
00:20:31Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:20:34I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:20:37Relax.
00:20:38Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:20:41Great!
00:20:42That's amazing.
00:20:43Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:20:49So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:20:53Might as well say, till that do us a part.
00:20:57Don't worry about that.
00:20:59I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
00:21:02The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:21:04You're Chris Roberts.
00:21:06Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:21:09Considering our attitude, I'm going to go with minimum wage.
00:21:12Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:21:14And now, 150K.
00:21:16That's enough for you.
00:21:18Per year?
00:21:19Per month, of course.
00:21:21Per month, of course.
00:21:34So, you have a son?
00:21:36Per month, of course.
00:21:37Don't get me wrong.
00:21:38Just want to know more about my wife.
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:46His name is Luke.
00:21:48He's nine.
00:21:49In summer camp, unaware of the divorce.
00:21:53Good lord.
00:22:03That looks calorie packed.
00:22:05First, it's not for you.
00:22:07Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:22:11Jeez, touchy.
00:22:13It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:22:17Keep that up.
00:22:18Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow for meeting the director.
00:22:22Already?
00:22:24This is your first time stepping out as my wife and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:22:29You need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:22:31Because it's going to be the first time that you're going to act as my wife.
00:22:35Come on.
00:22:36This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:22:38I'll solve this problem right now.
00:22:41Hey, Brad.
00:22:43Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:22:47Oh.
00:22:49My.
00:22:50God.
00:22:51I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:22:54Luckily, I'm Hollywood stylish.
00:22:57Alright, girls.
00:22:58Let's get going.
00:23:00Hmm.
00:23:01Right here.
00:23:02I got it.
00:23:03I got it.
00:23:12Are you okay, baby?
00:23:13Watch out.
00:23:14Please calm down.
00:23:15Can we set up back here?
00:23:16Sit down, baby.
00:23:17Get them out here.
00:23:18Oh, my God.
00:23:19Are you okay, baby?
00:23:20Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:23:30She's my wife now.
00:23:31So, yes.
00:23:32It's worth it.
00:23:33Hmm.
00:23:34Oh, wow.
00:23:35How do I look?
00:23:44How do I look?
00:23:45How do I look?
00:23:58Wow, you're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:24:04Wow, you sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:24:07Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:24:11Julia, your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:24:13That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:24:17Let's go, girls.
00:24:18Thank you so much, guys.
00:24:20No problem, baby.
00:24:23Jeez, how did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:24:27Just like Kardashians.
00:24:30Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:24:33God is fair.
00:24:35Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:24:37he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:24:43Wow, you're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:24:46We look so perfect together.
00:24:48It's a match made in heaven.
00:24:50No, no, no.
00:25:02There's no spark between you two.
00:25:05You don't love your wife at all.
00:25:07I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:25:09But we haven't even started talking.
00:25:11You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:25:13I don't feel your love for her.
00:25:17He's crazy about me.
00:25:19The moment I was divorced,
00:25:20he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:25:24I love you, baby.
00:25:26That's because I just can't wait
00:25:27to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:25:34Come back to me.
00:25:35You'll learn to be a proper husband.
00:25:39Jeez.
00:25:39Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director
00:25:42and not some charlatan?
00:25:44Yes, but he did catch you
00:25:46rolling your eyes at me.
00:25:47Maybe it's only because
00:25:48you ordered a cup of water
00:25:49and a steak?
00:25:50Perhaps that's to avoid
00:25:51your dress zipper
00:25:52bursting from one extra bite.
00:25:55You guessed right.
00:26:00Much better now.
00:26:09Can you eat quieter?
00:26:16You're disturbing my reading.
00:26:25You're married?
00:26:27What's up?
00:26:28What?
00:26:29Your daughter's in the hospital
00:26:30with a fever?
00:26:30Of course.
00:26:31I can cover your shift today.
00:26:34Where are you going?
00:26:35The contract doesn't require me
00:26:37to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:26:46Aubrey.
00:26:47What are you doing here?
00:26:49You're not stalking me, are you?
00:26:51Listen.
00:26:52Stop harassing me.
00:26:53Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:26:57Sorry to disappoint you,
00:26:59but I'm married too.
00:27:00It's not just you
00:27:01who found someone new.
00:27:02Jim!
00:27:04I told you she put up a friend
00:27:05about finding someone else.
00:27:09I do have a husband
00:27:10and he's hotter,
00:27:12wealthier,
00:27:13and lasts longer in bed
00:27:14than you ever did.
00:27:16If he's so great,
00:27:17when's an old timer like you
00:27:19still going here
00:27:20serving tapes?
00:27:21Come on, man.
00:27:22Don't just stand there.
00:27:23Serve us.
00:27:25I want
00:27:26hot tea.
00:27:27jeez.
00:27:38You trying to
00:27:39scald me?
00:27:50Are you satisfied now?
00:27:51That's better.
00:27:53Drink up, dear.
00:27:54Ouch.
00:27:56This huge diamond ring
00:27:58makes it hard
00:27:59to lift my hand.
00:28:01Check out my engagement ring
00:28:02from Mark.
00:28:03It's whopping two carats.
00:28:06I heard your wedding ring
00:28:08was
00:28:08a freebie
00:28:11that came with
00:28:12some furniture shopping,
00:28:13wasn't it?
00:28:15Wow.
00:28:16Good for you.
00:28:17And when you guys
00:28:18eventually split,
00:28:19you will get
00:28:20a nice chunk of change
00:28:22from selling
00:28:23this treasure.
00:28:25Don't
00:28:26stoop their level.
00:28:28You,
00:28:28go and get
00:28:29the steaks ready
00:28:30in ten minutes,
00:28:31else
00:28:31I'll be reporting you.
00:28:32I said
00:28:33half an hour
00:28:35when you ordered.
00:28:36Then
00:28:36figured it out.
00:28:38Wait.
00:28:40Pop off my water.
00:28:47Mary,
00:28:48you owe me
00:28:48a proper meal.
00:28:49I'll refrain
00:28:50from stabbing
00:28:51those two
00:28:51for your job's sake.
00:28:56Aubrey?
00:28:57Why are you
00:28:57waitressing?
00:28:58We're not really married.
00:28:59What I do
00:29:00is none of your business.
00:29:04Let's go.
00:29:05The advertisers
00:29:05are waiting.
00:29:09Keep an eye on her.
00:29:10Make sure
00:29:11nobody messes with her.
00:29:12I'm not her agent.
00:29:13But she's my wife,
00:29:14at least on paper.
00:29:15Okay, guys.
00:29:16If you don't need
00:29:17anything else,
00:29:18I'm gonna head out
00:29:19and change shifts.
00:29:20Oh my god.
00:29:22My ring.
00:29:23It's gone.
00:29:25Since you're
00:29:26the only one
00:29:26serving us,
00:29:27I suspect
00:29:28you stole my ring.
00:29:29Just because
00:29:30you're a bitch
00:29:30doesn't mean
00:29:31everyone is.
00:29:32I wouldn't even
00:29:33want to touch
00:29:34the stuff you've worn,
00:29:35let alone steal it.
00:29:37Denying won't help.
00:29:39It's only you
00:29:40somewhere.
00:29:43See?
00:29:44This is proof.
00:29:50I'm gonna have you
00:29:51fired.
00:29:52No way!
00:29:53You're framing me
00:29:54on purpose.
00:30:00Got it.
00:30:01Get the restaurant owner
00:30:02over here for me.
00:30:06You and your husband
00:30:07are so sweet.
00:30:08You always remember
00:30:09to buy his favorite pizza.
00:30:11Sweet?
00:30:12We haven't gotten
00:30:13busy since
00:30:14Thanksgiving
00:30:15three years ago.
00:30:17Look at them.
00:30:19That's what we call
00:30:19sweet.
00:30:20I wish my hubby
00:30:21was like that.
00:30:24That's actually
00:30:25my husband.
00:30:25You jerk
00:30:26cheating on me
00:30:26behind my back!
00:30:27Aubrey!
00:30:29Let me explain.
00:30:30Wait, wait, wait.
00:30:32Wait, wait.
00:30:33Stop!
00:30:35First thing.
00:30:36Alright, enough!
00:30:38Cut it out!
00:30:39I wouldn't have
00:30:42to be out here
00:30:42messing around
00:30:43if you
00:30:44didn't push me
00:30:46to do it.
00:30:47Look at yourself.
00:30:48Sloppy,
00:30:50rude,
00:30:51totally
00:30:52unfeminine.
00:30:54I want a divorce.
00:30:56Crazy lady.
00:30:57No need for karma.
00:31:07I can't handle
00:31:08this myself.
00:31:09Hand me the car key.
00:31:19Chris,
00:31:20Leo snucked the
00:31:21row you wanted.
00:31:23No way.
00:31:24Why him?
00:31:25I cannot understand that.
00:31:26He has fewer
00:31:27Instagram followers
00:31:28than me
00:31:29and his last movie
00:31:30made only
00:31:30$100 million.
00:31:31The director's
00:31:32looking for a guy
00:31:33who's totally
00:31:34devoted to his wife.
00:31:35Leo and his wife
00:31:36are Hollywood's
00:31:37poster couple
00:31:38for true love.
00:31:39But what about you?
00:31:41You're a 40-year-old
00:31:42bachelor
00:31:42known around town
00:31:44as a total playboy.
00:31:45What if
00:31:46I told everyone
00:31:48that I've actually
00:31:49been in love
00:31:50with one woman
00:31:50for all those years
00:31:52but she's married
00:31:53and all my wild
00:31:54dating was just
00:31:55to try and forget her.
00:31:56You think that
00:31:57would lend me the role?
00:31:58Sounds more like
00:31:59excused me.
00:32:00That's not good enough,
00:32:02huh?
00:32:02Alright,
00:32:04do I have to say
00:32:04she just got divorced
00:32:05and I'm rushing
00:32:06to marry her
00:32:07vowing to never
00:32:08look at another
00:32:09supermodel again
00:32:10to prove I can
00:32:11be a committed guy?
00:32:12Now that's a story
00:32:13people might buy into.
00:32:16But the problem is
00:32:17you're just making
00:32:18this up
00:32:18on the spot.
00:32:19Alright.
00:32:22I wish a woman
00:32:24like that would
00:32:24just fall into
00:32:25my life for real.
00:32:29Damn it!
00:32:31Fuck.
00:32:37I'm so sorry.
00:32:39Are you nuts?
00:32:40Nuts?
00:32:43Is that all
00:32:44your men got?
00:32:45Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:32:46But you guys
00:32:47eat those coke by nuts.
00:32:48Sleep with nuts.
00:32:49Have kids with nuts.
00:32:50You are the real
00:32:51nuts here.
00:32:52No offense.
00:32:53But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:32:55I only sleep
00:32:56with supermodels
00:32:57under 25 years old.
00:33:00Only supermodels!
00:33:04Screw you,
00:33:05fuck, Chris Roberts!
00:33:06Ah!
00:33:07Ah!
00:33:08Ah!
00:33:10Ah!
00:33:12Ah!
00:33:12Ah!
00:33:13Ah!
00:33:14Ah!
00:33:15Ah!
00:33:15Ah!
00:33:16Shit!
00:33:23I sold the house.
00:33:25You got till tonight
00:33:26to move out.
00:33:27Or
00:33:27your stuff
00:33:28will be thrown away.
00:33:31If you want to divorce me,
00:33:33fine!
00:33:33Go ahead!
00:33:34But how dare you
00:33:36sell our house
00:33:37without my consent!
00:33:40I'll sue you!
00:33:41Think you can afford
00:33:42a lawyer?
00:33:42Don't mess with me
00:33:44or apply for the custody
00:33:45for our son.
00:33:46Jobless housewife
00:33:47like you
00:33:48won't stand a chance.
00:33:50It's pickable!
00:33:51So,
00:33:52you divorced?
00:33:54It's none of your business!
00:33:56Marry me!
00:34:03Are you insane?
00:34:07My car's worth
00:34:08four million dollars.
00:34:10You want to talk about marriage
00:34:12or compensation?
00:34:13Or compensation?
00:34:15This way, ma'am.
00:34:20Watch us that, ma'am.
00:34:28Welcome, ma'am.
00:34:29You want to talk about marriage
00:34:40Wow!
00:34:41So it's your house
00:34:42at 5 Central Avenue.
00:34:44I've seen it in a magazine!
00:34:45so i get a room like this for a fake marriage no this is for elizabeth my dog yours is upstairs
00:35:06bigger and better forget that come sign the contract
00:35:11sign this and you will be my wife sorry what's your name again aubrey okay aubrey listen to me
00:35:22i love you for more than 10 years i heard that you're divorced so i popped the question right
00:35:30away what really are you kidding me aubrey this marriage is just for show i hope you won't catch
00:35:39real feelings for me relax not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating great that's amazing
00:35:46once i secure the role and bag that oscar we'll part our ways smoothly so we stuck together until
00:35:56we win an oscar might as well say so that do us apart don't worry about that i'm gonna pay you
00:36:04an acting salary the same as i do with my models and actors you're chris roberts those actresses
00:36:10must earn a fortune considering our attitude i'm gonna go with minimum wage usually they pay around
00:36:16500 grand and now 150k that's enough for you per year per month of course
00:36:24so you have a son don't get me wrong just want to know more about my wife
00:36:46yeah his name is luke he's nine in summer camp unaware of the divorce
00:36:55good lord that looks calorie packed
00:37:08first it's not for you second i hate when people reduce food to calories
00:37:13jeez touchy it'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic
00:37:20keep that up another thing clear your schedule for tomorrow we're meeting the director
00:37:25already this is your first time stepping out as my wife and i really want you to take it seriously
00:37:32need to dress up nicely all right because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act
00:37:37as my wife come on this top i'm wearing is like from the supermarket
00:37:41i'll solve this problem right now hey brad didn't you say you could transform any woman
00:37:50oh my god i didn't expect this to be such a huge project
00:37:57luckily i'm a hollywood stylish all right girls let's get going
00:38:03oh my god are you okay baby
00:38:23are these ladies fashion pieces worth the expense for her she's my wife now so yes it's worth it
00:38:37baby well i did my best today remember rome wasn't built in the day
00:38:45how do i look wow you're the most beautiful you have ever seen
00:39:04wow you sure ain't sure that asked why aren't you closing the victoria's secrets show this year
00:39:13julia your acting skills surpassed mine
00:39:17that's what handling a big story does to me
00:39:20let's go girls thank you so much guys no problem baby
00:39:24jeez how did i not realize my backside has such potential
00:39:30just like kardashians guess you regret this fake marriage now huh
00:39:35god is fair though he didn't bless you with a fury physique
00:39:40he gave you unbrittle confidence
00:39:42wow you're totally gonna nail that role now
00:39:49we look so perfect together
00:39:51it's a match made in heaven
00:39:54no no no no there's no spark between you two
00:40:08you don't love your wife at all
00:40:10i'm sorry that i can't give you this role
00:40:12but we haven't even started talking
00:40:14you know the lot talk is about feeling
00:40:16i don't feel your love for her
00:40:19he's crazy about me
00:40:22the moment i was divorced he swooped in with a helicopter proposal
00:40:26i love you baby
00:40:29that's because i just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you
00:40:33come back to me
00:40:38you'll learn to be a proper
00:40:40jeez
00:40:43are you sure he's top hollywood's director
00:40:46and not some charlatan
00:40:47yes but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me
00:40:50maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water
00:40:52any steak
00:40:53perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper
00:40:55bursting from one extra bite
00:40:58you guessed right
00:41:00much better now
00:41:05can you eat quieter
00:41:18you're disturbing my reading
00:41:20you're married
00:41:30what's up
00:41:31what your daughter's in the hospital with a fever
00:41:33yeah of course i can cover your shift today
00:41:35where are you going
00:41:38the contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you
00:41:42albry
00:41:50what are you doing here
00:41:52you're not stalking me are you
00:41:54listen
00:41:55stop harassing me
00:41:57tiffany and i are engaged
00:41:58sorry to disappoint you
00:42:02but i'm married too
00:42:03it's not just you who found someone new
00:42:05jim
00:42:06i told you she put up a front about finding someone else
00:42:10i do have a husband
00:42:14and he's hotter
00:42:15wealthier
00:42:16and lasts longer in bed than you ever did
00:42:19if he's so great
00:42:20when's an old timer like you
00:42:22still going here serving tapes
00:42:24come on man
00:42:25don't just stand there
00:42:26serve us
00:42:27i want
00:42:29hot tea
00:42:31jeez
00:42:41you trying to sculpt me
00:42:43are you satisfied now
00:42:54that's better
00:42:55drink up dear
00:42:57ouch
00:42:59this huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand
00:43:03check out my engagement ring from mark
00:43:06it's whopping two carats
00:43:08i heard your wedding ring was
00:43:11a freebie that came with some furniture shopping
00:43:16wasn't it
00:43:17wow
00:43:19good for you
00:43:20and when you guys eventually split
00:43:22you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure
00:43:29don't stoop to our level
00:43:31you
00:43:32go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes
00:43:34else i'll be reporting you
00:43:36i said
00:43:37half an hour when you ordered
00:43:39then
00:43:39figured it out
00:43:42wait
00:43:44tub off my water
00:43:50mary
00:43:51you owe me a proper meal
00:43:53i'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake
00:43:59aubry
00:44:00why are you waitressing
00:44:01we're not really married what i do is none of your business
00:44:07let's go
00:44:08the advertisers are waiting
00:44:12keep an eye on her
00:44:14make sure nobody messes with her
00:44:15i'm not her agent
00:44:17but she's my wife
00:44:18at least on paper
00:44:19okay guys
00:44:19if you don't need anything else
00:44:21i'm gonna head out and change shifts
00:44:23oh my god
00:44:25my ring
00:44:26it's gone
00:44:27since you're the only one serving us
00:44:30i suspect you stole my ring
00:44:32just because you're a bitch
00:44:34doesn't mean everyone is
00:44:35i wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn
00:44:38let alone steal it
00:44:39deny it won't help
00:44:41it's only you somewhere
00:44:44see
00:44:47this is proof
00:44:49i'm gonna have you
00:44:54fired
00:44:55no way
00:44:56you're framing me on purpose
00:44:58got it
00:45:04get the restaurant owner over here for me
00:45:06you and your husband are so sweet
00:45:11you always remember to buy his favorite pizza
00:45:14sweet
00:45:15we haven't gotten busy since thanksgiving three years ago
00:45:20look at them
00:45:22that's what we call sweet
00:45:23i wish my hubby was like that
00:45:25fuck that's actually my husband
00:45:29you jerk cheating on me behind my back
00:45:30Aubrey
00:45:31let me explain
00:45:33wait
00:45:34wait
00:45:34stop
00:45:36fast
00:45:39all right
00:45:40enough
00:45:41cut it out
00:45:42i
00:45:44wouldn't have to be out here
00:45:46messing around
00:45:47if you
00:45:48didn't push me
00:45:49to do it
00:45:50look at yourself
00:45:51sloppy
00:45:52you're rude
00:45:53totally
00:45:55unfeminine
00:45:56i want a divorce
00:45:58crazy lady
00:46:00damn
00:46:07no need for karma
00:46:10i can't handle this myself
00:46:11hand me the car key
00:46:13chris
00:46:23leo snucked the row you wanted
00:46:25no way
00:46:26why him
00:46:28i cannot understand that
00:46:30he has fewer instagram followers than me
00:46:32and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars
00:46:35the director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife
00:46:38leo and his wife are hollywood's poster couple for true love
00:46:42but what about you
00:46:43you're a forty-year-old bachelor
00:46:45known around town as a total playboy
00:46:48what if
00:46:49i told everyone
00:46:51that i've actually been in love with one woman for all those years
00:46:55but she's married
00:46:56and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her
00:46:59you think that would lend me the role
00:47:01sounds more like excused me
00:47:03that's not good enough huh
00:47:05all right
00:47:06do i have to say she just got divorced and i'm rushing to marry her
00:47:10vowing to never look at another supermodel again
00:47:13to prove i can be a committed guy
00:47:15now that's a story people might buy into
00:47:18but the problem is
00:47:20you're just making this up on the spot
00:47:23all right
00:47:23i wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real
00:47:29damn it
00:47:33fuck
00:47:35i'm so sorry
00:47:41are you nuts
00:47:43nuts
00:47:44is that all your men got
00:47:48yeah i'm nuts
00:47:49but you guys eat don't cook by nuts
00:47:51sleep with nuts
00:47:52have kids with nuts
00:47:53you are the real nuts here
00:47:55no offense
00:47:56but i'm chris roberts
00:47:58i only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old
00:48:01only supermodels
00:48:05screw you fuck chris roberts
00:48:10i sold the house
00:48:28you got till tonight to move out
00:48:30or your stuff will be thrown away
00:48:32if you want to divorce me
00:48:36fine
00:48:36go ahead
00:48:37but how dare you sell our house
00:48:40without my consent
00:48:42i'll sue you
00:48:44think you can afford a lawyer
00:48:45don't mess with me
00:48:47or a fight for the cutscene for a star
00:48:49a jobless housewife like you
00:48:51won't stand a chance
00:48:53despicable
00:48:54so
00:48:55you divorced
00:48:56it's none of your business
00:48:59marry me
00:49:00are you insane
00:49:08my car's worth four million dollars
00:49:12you want to talk about marriage
00:49:15or compensation
00:49:17this way mom
00:49:20watch us that mom
00:49:25welcome ma'am
00:49:33wow
00:49:43so it's your house
00:49:45at 5 central avenue
00:49:46i've seen it in a magazine
00:49:48so
00:50:02i get a room like this
00:50:04for a fake marriage
00:50:06no
00:50:06this is for elizabeth
00:50:08my dog
00:50:08yours is upstairs
00:50:10bigger and better
00:50:11forget that
00:50:13come sign the contract
00:50:14sign this
00:50:18and you will be my wife
00:50:20sorry
00:50:20what's your name again
00:50:21aubry
00:50:23okay
00:50:23aubry
00:50:24listen to me
00:50:26i love you
00:50:27for more than 10 years
00:50:28i heard
00:50:29that you're divorced
00:50:30so
00:50:32i popped the question right away
00:50:34what
00:50:35really
00:50:36are you kidding me
00:50:37aubry
00:50:39this marriage is just for show
00:50:41i hope you won't catch
00:50:42real feelings for me
00:50:44relax
00:50:45not falling for you
00:50:47as easy as drinking and eating
00:50:48great
00:50:49that's amazing
00:50:50once i secure the role
00:50:51and back that oscar
00:50:53we'll part our ways
00:50:55smoothly
00:50:56so we stuck together
00:50:59until we win an oscar
00:51:00might as well say
00:51:03till that do us a part
00:51:04don't worry about that
00:51:05i'm gonna pay you
00:51:07an acting salary
00:51:08the same as i do
00:51:09with my models and actors
00:51:10you know chris roberts
00:51:12those actresses
00:51:14must earn a fortune
00:51:15considering our attitude
00:51:17i'm gonna go with
00:51:18minimum wage
00:51:18usually they pay around
00:51:20500 grand
00:51:21and now
00:51:21150k
00:51:23that's enough for you
00:51:24per year
00:51:26per month
00:51:27of course
00:51:38so
00:51:40so you have a son
00:51:42don't get me wrong
00:51:44just want to know
00:51:45more about my wife
00:51:46yeah
00:51:52his name is luke
00:51:54he's nine
00:51:55in summer camp
00:51:57unaware of the divorce
00:51:59good lord
00:52:09that looks
00:52:10calorie packed
00:52:11first
00:52:12it's not for you
00:52:14second
00:52:14i hate
00:52:15when people
00:52:15reduce food
00:52:16to calories
00:52:17geez
00:52:19touchy
00:52:19it'll make
00:52:21my loving you
00:52:21seem even more
00:52:22dramatic
00:52:23keep that up
00:52:25another thing
00:52:26clear your schedule
00:52:27for tomorrow
00:52:27we're meeting
00:52:28the director
00:52:28already
00:52:30this is your first
00:52:32time stepping out
00:52:33as my wife
00:52:34and i really want
00:52:34you to take it
00:52:35seriously
00:52:35need to dress up
00:52:37nicely alright
00:52:38because it's gonna
00:52:39be the first time
00:52:39that you're gonna
00:52:40act as my wife
00:52:41come on
00:52:42this top i'm wearing
00:52:44is like from
00:52:44the supermarket
00:52:45i'm solving this
00:52:46problem right now
00:52:47hey brad
00:52:49didn't you say
00:52:52you could transform
00:52:53any woman
00:52:53oh my god
00:52:57i didn't expect
00:52:58this to be such a
00:52:59huge project
00:53:01but luckily
00:53:02i'm a hollywood
00:53:02stylish
00:53:03alright girls
00:53:04let's get going
00:53:06right here
00:53:09i got it
00:53:10are you okay
00:53:19please
00:53:20watch out
00:53:21please calm down
00:53:22can't you set up
00:53:22back here
00:53:23get him out of here
00:53:25oh my god
00:53:26are you okay baby
00:53:26are these ladies
00:53:34fashion pieces
00:53:35worth the expense
00:53:36for her
00:53:36she's my wife now
00:53:38so yes
00:53:39it's worth it
00:53:40baby real
00:53:43i did my best today
00:53:45remember
00:53:46rome wasn't
00:53:47beautiful in the day
00:53:48how do i look
00:54:03wow
00:54:05you're the most
00:54:06beautiful you
00:54:07i've ever seen
00:54:08wow
00:54:11you sure
00:54:12ain't sure
00:54:12that asked
00:54:13why aren't you
00:54:14closing the
00:54:14victoria's
00:54:15secrets show
00:54:15this year
00:54:16julia
00:54:18your acting
00:54:19skills
00:54:19surpassed mine
00:54:20that's what
00:54:21handling a
00:54:22big star
00:54:22does to me
00:54:23let's go
00:54:24girls
00:54:25thank you so
00:54:26much guys
00:54:26no problem
00:54:27baby
00:54:28jeez
00:54:30how did i not
00:54:31realize my
00:54:32backside has
00:54:32such potential
00:54:33just like
00:54:35kardashians
00:54:36guess you
00:54:37regret this
00:54:37fake marriage
00:54:38now huh
00:54:39god is fair
00:54:41though he didn't
00:54:42bless you with a
00:54:43fury physique
00:54:44he gave you
00:54:45unbridled
00:54:45confidence
00:54:46wow you're totally
00:54:51gonna nail that role
00:54:52now we look so
00:54:53perfect together
00:54:54it's a match
00:54:56made in heaven
00:54:57no no no no
00:55:09there's no spark
00:55:10between you two
00:55:11you don't love your
00:55:12wife at all
00:55:13i'm sorry that i can't
00:55:14give you this role
00:55:15but we haven't even
00:55:16started talking
00:55:17you know the law talk
00:55:18is about feeling
00:55:19i don't feel your
00:55:21love for her
00:55:22he's crazy
00:55:24about me
00:55:25the moment i was
00:55:26divorced
00:55:26he swooped in
00:55:27with a helicopter
00:55:28proposal
00:55:29i love you baby
00:55:32that's because i just
00:55:33can't wait to spend
00:55:34the rest of my life
00:55:35with you
00:55:36come back to me
00:55:41or you'll learn
00:55:42to be a proper
00:55:43jeez
00:55:46are you sure
00:55:47he's top
00:55:48hollywood's
00:55:49director
00:55:49and not some
00:55:50charlatan
00:55:51yes but he did
00:55:52catch you rolling
00:55:52your eyes at me
00:55:53maybe it's only
00:55:54because you ordered
00:55:55a cup of water
00:55:56any steak
00:55:56perhaps that's to
00:55:57avoid your dress
00:55:58zipper
00:55:58bursting from
00:56:00one extra bite
00:56:01you guessed right
00:56:03much better now
00:56:21can you eat quieter
00:56:22you're disturbing
00:56:23my reading
00:56:23you're married
00:56:33what's up
00:56:34what
00:56:35your daughter's in the hospital
00:56:36with a fever
00:56:37yeah of course
00:56:37i can cover your shift
00:56:38today
00:56:39where are you going
00:56:41the contract
00:56:43doesn't require me to
00:56:44report my personal
00:56:45itinerary to you
00:56:46Aubrey
00:56:53what are you doing
00:56:55here
00:56:55you're not
00:56:56stalking me
00:56:57are you
00:56:57listen
00:56:58stop harassing me
00:57:00Tiffany and I
00:57:01are engaged
00:57:02sorry to disappoint you
00:57:05but I'm married
00:57:06too
00:57:06it's not just you
00:57:07who found someone
00:57:08new
00:57:08Jim
00:57:09I told you
00:57:11she put up a front
00:57:12about finding
00:57:12someone else
00:57:13I do have a husband
00:57:17and he's hotter
00:57:18wealthier
00:57:20and lasts longer
00:57:21in bed
00:57:21than you ever did
00:57:22if he's so great
00:57:23when's an old timer
00:57:25like you
00:57:25still going here
00:57:26serving tapes
00:57:27come on man
00:57:28don't just stand there
00:57:30serve us
00:57:30I want
00:57:33hot tea
00:57:34hmm
00:57:36hmm
00:57:39jeez
00:57:44you trying to
00:57:46sculpt me
00:57:46are you satisfied
00:57:57now
00:57:58that's better
00:57:58drink up
00:58:00dear
00:58:00ouch
00:58:02this huge
00:58:04diamond ring
00:58:04makes it hard
00:58:05to lift my hand
00:58:06check out
00:58:08my engagement ring
00:58:09from mark
00:58:09it's whopping
00:58:11two carats
00:58:12I heard
00:58:13your wedding ring
00:58:14was
00:58:15a freebie
00:58:17that came
00:58:18with some
00:58:18furniture shopping
00:58:19wasn't it
00:58:21wow
00:58:22good for you
00:58:24and when you guys
00:58:24eventually split
00:58:25you will get
00:58:27a nice chunk
00:58:28of change
00:58:28from selling
00:58:29this treasure
00:58:30don't stupid
00:58:33or level
00:58:33you
00:58:35go and get
00:58:36the steaks
00:58:36ready in ten minutes
00:58:37else
00:58:38I'll be reporting you
00:58:39I said
00:58:40half an hour
00:58:41when you ordered
00:58:42then
00:58:42figured it out
00:58:44wait
00:58:45tub of my water
00:58:48mary
00:58:54mary
00:58:54you owe me
00:58:55a proper meal
00:58:56i refrain
00:58:57from stabbing
00:58:58those two
00:58:58for your job's sake
00:58:59aubry
00:59:03why are you
00:59:04waitressing
00:59:05we're not
00:59:05really married
00:59:06what i do
00:59:06is none
00:59:07of your business
00:59:07let's go
00:59:11the advertisers
00:59:12are waiting
00:59:12keep an eye
00:59:16on her
00:59:16make sure
00:59:17nobody
00:59:18messes with her
00:59:18i'm not
00:59:19her agent
00:59:20but she's
00:59:20my wife
00:59:21at least
00:59:21on paper
00:59:22okay guys
00:59:23if you
00:59:23don't need
00:59:23anything else
00:59:24i'm gonna
00:59:25head out
00:59:25and change
00:59:26shifts
00:59:26oh my god
00:59:28my ring
00:59:29it's gone
00:59:30since you
00:59:32the only one
00:59:33serving us
00:59:33i suspect
00:59:34you stole my ring
00:59:35just because
00:59:36you're a bitch
00:59:37doesn't mean
00:59:38everyone is
00:59:38i wouldn't
00:59:39even want
00:59:40to touch
00:59:40the stuff
00:59:41you've worn
00:59:41let alone
00:59:42steal it
00:59:43deny
00:59:44won't help
00:59:45let's
00:59:46arm you
00:59:47somewhere
00:59:47see
00:59:50this is
00:59:52proof
00:59:52i'm gonna
00:59:57have you
00:59:58fired
00:59:59no way
01:00:00you're framing
01:00:00me on purpose
01:00:01got it
01:00:07get the restaurant
01:00:08owner over here
01:00:09for me
01:00:09you and your
01:00:13husband are
01:00:14so sweet
01:00:15you always
01:00:15remember to
01:00:16buy his
01:00:16favorite pizza
01:00:17sweet
01:00:18we haven't
01:00:20gotten busy
01:00:20since thanksgiving
01:00:22three years ago
01:00:23look at them
01:00:25that's what we
01:00:26call sweet
01:00:26i wish my
01:00:27hubby was
01:00:28like that
01:00:28fuck
01:00:31that's actually
01:00:31my husband
01:00:32you jerk
01:00:32cheating on me
01:00:33behind my back
01:00:34Aubrey
01:00:34let me explain
01:00:36wait
01:00:37wait
01:00:37stop
01:00:39first
01:00:42all right
01:00:44enough
01:00:44cut it out
01:00:46i
01:00:47wouldn't have
01:00:48to be out
01:00:49here
01:00:49messing around
01:00:50if you
01:00:51didn't push
01:00:52me
01:00:52to do it
01:00:53look at yourself
01:00:54sloppy
01:00:55rude
01:00:57totally
01:00:58unfeminine
01:01:00i want
01:01:01i want
01:01:01a divorce
01:01:01crazy
01:01:03lady
01:01:03karma
01:01:12will get
01:01:12that scumbag
01:01:13no need
01:01:13for karma
01:01:14i can't handle
01:01:14this myself
01:01:15hand me the car
01:01:16key
01:01:16chris
01:01:27leo snucked the row
01:01:28you wanted
01:01:28no way
01:01:30why him
01:01:31i cannot understand
01:01:33that
01:01:33he has fewer
01:01:34instagram followers
01:01:35than me
01:01:35and his last movie
01:01:36made only a hundred
01:01:37million dollars
01:01:38the director's looking
01:01:39for a guy
01:01:39who's totally
01:01:40devoted to his wife
01:01:42leo and his wife
01:01:43are hollywood's
01:01:44poster couple
01:01:44for true love
01:01:46but what about you
01:01:47you're a 40-year-old
01:01:48bachelor
01:01:49known around town
01:01:50as a total playboy
01:01:51what if
01:01:53i told everyone
01:01:54that i've actually
01:01:55been in love
01:01:56with one woman
01:01:57for all those years
01:01:58but she's married
01:02:00and all my wild
01:02:01dating was just
01:02:02to try and forget her
01:02:03you think that
01:02:03would lend me the role
01:02:04sounds more like
01:02:05excused me
01:02:06that's not good enough
01:02:08huh
01:02:08all right
01:02:09do i have to say
01:02:11she just got divorced
01:02:12and i'm rushing
01:02:13to marry her
01:02:14vowing to never
01:02:15look at another
01:02:15supermodel again
01:02:16to prove i can
01:02:17be a committed guy
01:02:18now that's a story
01:02:20people might buy into
01:02:21but the problem is
01:02:24you're just making
01:02:24this up
01:02:25on the spot
01:02:26all right
01:02:27i wish a woman
01:02:30like that would
01:02:31just fall into
01:02:31my life for real
01:02:32damn it
01:02:36fuck
01:02:38i'm so sorry
01:02:45are you nuts
01:02:46nuts
01:02:47is that all
01:02:50your men got
01:02:51yeah i'm nuts
01:02:52but you guys
01:02:53eat don't cook
01:02:54by nuts
01:02:54sleep with nuts
01:02:56have kids with nuts
01:02:57you are the real
01:02:58nuts here
01:02:58no offense
01:02:59but i'm chris roberts
01:03:01i only sleep with
01:03:03supermodels
01:03:03under 25 years old
01:03:05only supermodels
01:03:08screw you
01:03:11fuck
01:03:12chris roberts
01:03:13i sold the house
01:03:31you got till tonight
01:03:32to move out
01:03:33or
01:03:34your stuff
01:03:35will get thrown
01:03:35away
01:03:35if you want
01:03:38to divorce me
01:03:39fine
01:03:40go ahead
01:03:41but how dare
01:03:42you sell our
01:03:43house
01:03:44without my
01:03:45consent
01:03:46i'll sue you
01:03:47think you can
01:03:48afford a lawyer
01:03:49don't mess with me
01:03:51or apply for
01:03:51the custody
01:03:52for our son
01:03:53jobless house
01:03:54like life
01:03:54you
01:03:54won't stand
01:03:55a chance
01:03:56despicable
01:03:57so
01:03:59you divorced
01:04:00it's none of
01:04:01your business
01:04:02marry me
01:04:03are you insane
01:04:11my car's worth
01:04:154 million dollars
01:04:16you want to talk
01:04:17about marriage
01:04:18or compensation
01:04:20this win
01:04:23mom
01:04:23watch her step
01:04:28mom
01:04:28welcome
01:04:35mom
01:04:36wow
01:04:47so it's
01:04:48your house
01:04:48at 5 central avenue
01:04:50i've seen it
01:04:51in the magazine
01:04:51so i get a room
01:05:07like this
01:05:08for a fake
01:05:09marriage
01:05:09no
01:05:09this is for
01:05:11elizabeth
01:05:11my dog
01:05:12yours is upstairs
01:05:13bigger and
01:05:14better
01:05:15forget that
01:05:16come sign
01:05:17the contract
01:05:17sign this
01:05:21and you will
01:05:22be my wife
01:05:23sorry
01:05:24what's your
01:05:24name again
01:05:25aubrey
01:05:26okay
01:05:26aubrey
01:05:28listen to me
01:05:29i love you
01:05:30for more than
01:05:3110 years
01:05:32i heard
01:05:32that you're
01:05:33divorced
01:05:34so
01:05:35i popped
01:05:36the question
01:05:36right away
01:05:37what
01:05:39really
01:05:39are you
01:05:40kidding me
01:05:41aubrey
01:05:42this marriage
01:05:43is just for
01:05:44show
01:05:44i hope
01:05:44you won't
01:05:45catch
01:05:45real
01:05:46feelings
01:05:46for me
01:05:47relax
01:05:49not falling
01:05:50for you
01:05:50as easy
01:05:51as drinking
01:05:51and eating
01:05:52great
01:05:52that's amazing
01:05:53once i secure
01:05:54the role
01:05:55and back
01:05:55that oscar
01:05:56we'll part
01:05:57our ways
01:05:58smoothly
01:06:00so we stuck
01:06:02together
01:06:02until we win
01:06:03an oscar
01:06:03might as well
01:06:06say
01:06:06till that
01:06:07do us a part
01:06:08don't worry
01:06:08about that
01:06:09i'm gonna pay
01:06:10you an acting
01:06:11salary
01:06:11the same
01:06:12as i do
01:06:13with my
01:06:13models
01:06:13and actors
01:06:14no chris
01:06:15roberts
01:06:16those actresses
01:06:17must earn
01:06:18a fortune
01:06:18considering our
01:06:19attitude
01:06:20i'm gonna go
01:06:21with minimum
01:06:21wage
01:06:22usually they pay
01:06:23around 500
01:06:23grand
01:06:24and now
01:06:25150k
01:06:26that's enough
01:06:27for you
01:06:28per year
01:06:29per month
01:06:30of course
01:06:31so you have
01:06:45a son
01:06:45don't get
01:06:47me wrong
01:06:47just want
01:06:48to know
01:06:48more about
01:06:49my wife
01:06:49yeah
01:06:55his name
01:06:57is luke
01:06:57he's nine
01:06:58in summer
01:07:00camp
01:07:00unaware
01:07:01of the
01:07:02divorce
01:07:02good lord
01:07:12that looks
01:07:13calorie packed
01:07:14first
01:07:16it's not
01:07:16for you
01:07:17second
01:07:17i hate
01:07:18when people
01:07:19reduce food
01:07:19to calories
01:07:20geez
01:07:22touchy
01:07:23it'll make
01:07:24my loving
01:07:24you seem
01:07:25even more
01:07:25dramatic
01:07:26keep that
01:07:28up
01:07:28another thing
01:07:29clear your
01:07:30schedule for
01:07:30tomorrow
01:07:31for meeting
01:07:31the director
01:07:32already
01:07:33this is your
01:07:35first time
01:07:36stepping out
01:07:36as my wife
01:07:37and i really
01:07:37want you to
01:07:38take it
01:07:38seriously
01:07:39need to dress
01:07:40up nicely
01:07:41alright
01:07:41because it's
01:07:42gonna be the
01:07:42first time
01:07:43that you're
01:07:43gonna act
01:07:44as my wife
01:07:44come on
01:07:46this top i'm
01:07:47wearing is
01:07:47like from
01:07:47the supermarket
01:07:48i'll solve
01:07:50this problem
01:07:50right now
01:07:51hey brad
01:07:53didn't you
01:07:55say you
01:07:55could transform
01:07:56any woman
01:07:56oh
01:07:59my
01:08:00god
01:08:00i didn't
01:08:01expect this
01:08:02to be such
01:08:02a huge
01:08:03project
01:08:04but luckily
01:08:05i'm a hollywood
01:08:06stylish
01:08:06alright girls
01:08:08let's get
01:08:09going
01:08:09right here
01:08:12i got it
01:08:13are you
01:08:22okay baby
01:08:23watch out
01:08:24please calm down
01:08:25can you sit up
01:08:26back here
01:08:26get back here
01:08:28oh my god
01:08:29are you okay baby
01:08:30are these ladies
01:08:37fashion pieces
01:08:38worth the expense
01:08:39for her
01:08:40she's my wife
01:08:41now
01:08:41so yes
01:08:42it's worth it
01:08:43baby
01:08:46well
01:08:46i did my
01:08:47best today
01:08:48remember
01:08:49rome wasn't
01:08:50built in the day
01:08:51how do i look
01:09:06wow
01:09:08you're the most
01:09:09beautiful you have
01:09:10ever seen
01:09:11wow
01:09:14you sure
01:09:15sure
01:09:15that ass
01:09:16why aren't you
01:09:17closing the
01:09:18victoria's secret
01:09:18show this year
01:09:19julia
01:09:21her acting skill
01:09:22surpassed mine
01:09:23that's what handling
01:09:25a big star
01:09:26does to me
01:09:26let's go girls
01:09:28thank you so much
01:09:29guys
01:09:29no problem
01:09:30baby
01:09:31jeez
01:09:33how did i not
01:09:34realize my backside
01:09:35has such potential
01:09:36just like kardashians
01:09:39guess you regret
01:09:40this fake marriage
01:09:41now huh
01:09:42god is fair
01:09:44though he didn't
01:09:45bless you with a fury
01:09:46physique
01:09:47he gave you
01:09:48unbridled confidence
01:09:49wow
01:09:54you're totally
01:09:55gonna nail that role
01:09:56now
01:09:56we look so perfect
01:09:57together
01:09:58it's a match
01:09:59made in heaven
01:10:00no no no
01:10:12there's no spark
01:10:14between you two
01:10:14you don't love your wife
01:10:16at all
01:10:16i'm sorry that i can't
01:10:18give you this role
01:10:18but we haven't even
01:10:19started talking
01:10:21you know the law talk
01:10:22is about feeling
01:10:23i don't feel your love
01:10:25for her
01:10:25he's crazy about me
01:10:28the moment i was divorced
01:10:30he swooped in with a
01:10:31helicopter proposal
01:10:32i love you baby
01:10:35that's because i just
01:10:37can't wait to spend the
01:10:38rest of my life with you
01:10:40come back to me
01:10:45i will learn to be a
01:10:46proper
01:10:46jeez
01:10:49are you sure
01:10:50he's top hollywood's
01:10:52director
01:10:52and not some charlatan
01:10:54yes
01:10:54but he did catch you
01:10:55rolling your eyes at me
01:10:56maybe it's only because
01:10:58you ordered a cup of water
01:10:59and a steak
01:11:00perhaps that's to avoid
01:11:01your dress zipper
01:11:02bursting from one extra
01:11:04bite
01:11:04you guessed right
01:11:06much better now
01:11:15can you eat quieter
01:11:25you're disturbing my reading
01:11:27you're married
01:11:36what's up
01:11:37what
01:11:38your daughter's in the
01:11:39hospital with a fever
01:11:40yeah of course
01:11:41i can cover your shift today
01:11:42where are you going
01:11:45the contract
01:11:46doesn't require me
01:11:47to report my personal
01:11:48itinerary to you
01:11:49albry
01:11:57what are you doing here
01:11:58you're not stalking me
01:12:00are you
01:12:00listen
01:12:01stop harassing me
01:12:03tiffany and i
01:12:04are engaged
01:12:05sorry to disappoint you
01:12:08but i'm married too
01:12:10it's not just you
01:12:11who found someone new
01:12:12jim
01:12:13i told you she put up a
01:12:15front about finding
01:12:16someone else
01:12:16i do have a husband
01:12:20and he's hotter
01:12:22wealthier
01:12:23and lasts longer in bed
01:12:24than you ever did
01:12:25if he's so great
01:12:27when's an old timer
01:12:28like you still going here
01:12:30serving tapes
01:12:31come on man
01:12:32don't just stand there
01:12:33serve us
01:12:34i want
01:12:36hot tea
01:12:37jeez
01:12:48you trying to
01:12:49sculpt me
01:12:50are you satisfied now
01:13:01that's better
01:13:02drink up dear
01:13:03ouch
01:13:05this huge diamond ring
01:13:08makes it hard to lift
01:13:09my hand
01:13:10check out my
01:13:11engagement ring
01:13:12from mark
01:13:13it's whopping two
01:13:14carats
01:13:15i heard your wedding ring
01:13:17was
01:13:18a freebie
01:13:21that came with
01:13:22some furniture shopping
01:13:23wasn't it
01:13:24wow
01:13:25good for you
01:13:27and when you guys
01:13:28eventually split
01:13:29you will get
01:13:30a nice chunk of change
01:13:32from selling
01:13:33this treasure
01:13:35don't stoop to our level
01:13:37you
01:13:38go and get the steaks
01:13:39ready in ten minutes
01:13:40else
01:13:41i'll be reporting you
01:13:42i said
01:13:43half an hour
01:13:44when you ordered
01:13:45then
01:13:46figured it out
01:13:47wait
01:13:49tub off my water
01:13:51mary
01:13:57you owe me
01:13:58a proper meal
01:13:59i refrain from
01:14:00stabbing those two
01:14:01for your job's sake
01:14:02aubry
01:14:06why are you waitressing
01:14:08we're not really married
01:14:09what i do is none of your business
01:14:11let's go
01:14:14the advertisers are waiting
01:14:16keep an eye on her
01:14:19make sure nobody messes with her
01:14:22i'm not her agent
01:14:23but she's my wife
01:14:24at least on paper
01:14:25okay guys
01:14:26if you don't need anything else
01:14:27i'm gonna head out
01:14:29and change shifts
01:14:29oh my god
01:14:31my ring
01:14:33it's gone
01:14:34since you're the only one
01:14:36serving us
01:14:37i suspect you stole my ring
01:14:39just because you're a bitch
01:14:40doesn't mean everyone is
01:14:42i wouldn't even want to touch
01:14:44the stuff you've worn
01:14:45let alone steal it
01:14:46deny won't help
01:14:48it's only you somewhere
01:14:50see
01:14:54this is proof
01:14:56i'm gonna have you
01:15:01fired
01:15:02no way
01:15:03you're framing me on purpose
01:15:04got it
01:15:11get the restaurant owner
01:15:12over here for me
01:15:13i'm gonna have you
01:15:32i'm gonna have you
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