It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 17 Episode 1

Cinema Series US Film

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 17 Episode 1  #CinemaSeriesUSFilm   🎞 Please join  https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm

Transcript

00:00so as you may recall a little while back we had some volunteers at the school found out they were

00:19here for community service I wasn't tripping four days free labor and they were out of here

00:23but we were alerted to some additional footage if you will turns out these clowns were up to a lot

00:29more than we knew welcome to Abbott Elementary the best elementary school in the universe um what's

00:34the deal with all the cameras we have like a Vanderpump thing going on don't worry about it

00:37no no I think I'll be spending my time on the other side of the camera thank you very much

00:42see yeah okay um if Caucasian cultural exchange is over let's get to the free work before we do that

00:51uh uh could my associates and I talk if you want to talk talk in private I mean I'm away from the

00:58yeah that's it oh he's got a thing we could just not be yeah I'll at least take a second yeah Frank just

01:03go go yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll be right back yeah this is gonna be gonna help you with the ducks and

01:08yeah just in a minute go go go go close that door and lock it okay I got an idea Frank let's not make

01:17this a whole thing please yeah just quick in and out yeah the faster we get it done the better I see an

01:21opportunity here how's a school an opportunity it's not just a school it's a gold mine I can't believe

01:29these shitheads forgot they were mic'd

01:38I was a school a gold mine copper piping thousands and thousands of yards of it and it's not just a

01:48I was a school a gold mine copper piping thousands and thousands of yards of it and this is an old

02:00building they use a thick kind I mean offensive pay a fortune for that Frank Frank well we're not

02:05ripping copper piping out of a public school well why not the city's gonna make them do it anyway

02:10and they're gonna wind up paying for it we'd be doing them a favor okay stop stop we're not doing

02:13this all right we're just we're gonna get through the day okay and then we're gonna get the hell

02:17out of here because I can oh my god this coffee is sludge what's the story on the snacks are these

02:23free or what guys I'm with Dennis if I can just get this release sign that we could be out of here

02:27in a week all right look I don't want to get lice for one of these kids oh did you guys know that

02:31black people can't get lice Dean that's like crazy racist no no no that's just science it's the lice

02:37who are racist okay hold on you hear this conversation this is this is us digging a deeper hole

02:42please not I'm begging you all why is this door locked who are you people oh hey we're your

02:48volunteers you're not supposed to be in here this is a teacher's lab ah then where's the volunteers

02:52lounge uh yeah actually um question sorry are you in charge of cleaning the coffee pots because um

02:57they're really dirty and you're not doing a good job what is this quit eating that yeah quit eating

03:03that I'm not I thought we're free it's not free well get the hell out of here get the hell out of

03:08here I said I thought they were free get the hell out of here okay all right it's just a

03:12misunderstanding probably no guys are gonna be a problem take care of them I can't say I'm surprised

03:17by any of this I mean I liked Dee at first but things got awkward when she tried to steal you

03:22that was never gonna happen still safe to say I liked her less after that but it wasn't until I saw

03:27the extra footage that I was able to realize just how much of a I need to say a bad word

03:33it's okay yeah yeah I'm gonna say it's real bad you talked about this how much of a total

03:38fucking cunt she was I thought you was gonna call her a bitch no I didn't feel that was strong

03:45enough okay bitch can be a very fine dog that is not what this woman is class can I have your attention

03:52for one second you are being taught by a genius and class if I may you have a genius volunteer aiding

04:00you oh you you you it's definitely you right now one two three you

04:08okay I notice you following that one around a bunch what is going on with that I'm not picking

04:18up star vibes from her she's a dud she's a giant dud but I have an idea you follow me around make me the

04:23star of whatever this is and I will make this shit pop right I'll steal her man I'll expose her for the

04:28dud she is what do you think let's work together huh hey hey we can't wait till you come back I can't

04:36wait to come back oh my god I mean what is she talking about the star of the thing what I don't

04:45know she's crazy she really is crazy if anything Ava's the star maybe Barb could be me at this point

04:51but you know sure yeah sure you don't think I've gotten no I mean no absolutely no absolutely yeah

04:59you're just focus they kind of you are go through my yeah it's it's interpretation of it okay yeah okay

05:04well actually that's not what this is about no because it's about the kids exactly but the good

05:08news is she was never actually attracted to Gregory at all sorry she should have been no

05:18these dumbasses couldn't even pretend to volunteer for very long day one they try to recruit athletes

05:25for their old high school yo hey dude this place is the worst man they're like totally like trying

05:34to teach me to read and stuff and I'm just like playing along being like oh you know you can help

05:37me but it's just like I'm trying to kill time you know like it's so boring yeah sure what do they got

05:43you doing uh well they don't really have me doing anything but I decided to do this oh what

05:48what is this uh well I uh I grabbed a bunch of stuff from the science class I'm doing a little

05:53science experiment is it coffee it is coffee I could smell it it's the most amazing coffee you've

05:58ever had you wouldn't believe it dude sick give me a cup like Walter White over here yeah absolutely

06:01I got one poured you go you would not believe the bozos they got as the stars of this thing

06:06stars of what thing yeah their reality show or whatever it is they got going oh oh shit I keep

06:13forgetting about these guys yeah yeah yeah but I'm gonna use it as a launching pad though

06:16I got an angle no no we're not doing angles yeah what smells good oh it's coffee you gotta try

06:21and make one yeah you want one this is a coffee yeah yeah come back a little slow so I'll make

06:24a small one raccoon on the loose what really yeah I brought a raccoon in to keep that janitor busy

06:31coffee man nice dude good move yeah no no Frank cameras what's up bitches have you guys seen the

06:37talent in this school no good no what are you doing we're just doing the one thing okay you guys are

06:41talking about five different things for Christ's sake you're all over the place sorry what talent what are you

06:46talking about yeah there's kids like that are taller than me I say recruit one for the basketball team

06:50St. Joe's no no no no two great idea man they've been sucking ass we are just doing the one thing

06:55all right yeah I want a straight line to Friday that's it okay all right all right yeah get him some

07:00coffee man make a coffee for Matt try a coffee yeah all these coffees it's really perfectly ph-balanced

07:05I keep forgetting about the cameras forget about them every time dude yeah yeah

07:09it is easy to forget about the cameras I keep cash on me to make things go away but they took it to

07:17the next level oh that's a good idea totally profit off a young basketball player like pull a blindside on

07:26are you pissing in that locker oh it's a coffee I it takes so much calls right yeah yeah let's do the

07:32blindside well yeah but I think we're not supposed to say blindside because it's like oh yeah it got

07:36frowned upon because it was like a white savior thing and I think white people aren't supposed to

07:40help black people oh no no no that's a misunderstanding okay yeah you see St. Joe's is a predominantly white

07:46team so we're helping a white school so it's fine oh look at that one he's tall well don't say that

07:51one I know that let's go get it oh I meant that black hey okay let's go get it okay hey kid look at

07:58you wow oh man we saw you in the hall we liked everything we saw we did what's it gonna take to

08:04convince you to leave a place like this and come with us we may have access to alexis if you want to

08:09joy like joy right whoa whoa what is what is this what is going on here

08:13uh well he uh he left yeah how are you okay you need to leave too all right what the poor Rodney

08:27he was really freaked out maybe it was Jacob interrupting them or maybe it was when they found

08:31out that Rodney is legally blind in one eye and can't shoot for shit don't think we didn't try he's trash

08:36a basketball recruit oh thank god my mind was going to terrible places

08:43anyway they got off that idea and bounced to the next one like one of those

08:48ADHD kids the only thing I will say is their coffee was fantastic

08:52okay uh got soy almond latte for Gregory there we go much a blast and uh Janine you had the uh it was

09:01a mocha grande half calf with a splash of a splash of vanilla okay I got you right here

09:06there we go enjoy thank you enjoy Katie I remember you super complicated order

09:13I gotta say guys this experience is not as bad as I thought it was yeah it's fine you know I mean for

09:18once laying low is maybe paying off for us no no no no screw laying low I'm making a play for

09:23dingbat's guy and it's working I said no angles excuse me guys excuse me I'm volunteering so I have to

09:29come through here yeah yeah yeah they said that the volunteers had to come through because we

09:34wouldn't normally do that um we're good people but uh we had to so what guys I'm actually like

09:42really pissed at this school like they have no idea how to teach people you know like what you're not

09:46learning to read no it's not the reading I know how to read it's 9-11 man well what what what about

09:519-11 yeah my kids don't know anything about it man they don't know what it is what I heard a couple

09:58of them joking and they were sharing funny like internet memes and they're like oh yeah oh that I

10:02know that internet joke thing no that's how they know it hold on a second well now I have to get

10:07involved because that's insane yeah that's kids these days huh 9-11 is just one giant meme yeah it's a

10:11big joke it is yeah it's like Pearl Harbor I mean you know that happens everybody looks the other way

10:18now we're all buying Japanese cars I mean the Arabs are buying golf from us what golf is for sale dude

10:24the purest sport in the history of humanity I mean what happened to never forget yeah we said

10:29we made an agreement to never forget we forget about these things trying to see something at the camps

10:34and just buying whatever car we want I mean what the hell is this getting what happened this argument

10:38went on for way too long these people were passionate but dumb as shit because at some

11:00point they argue themselves right into conspiracy theories so so it had to be a hoax yeah I mean

11:06steel would not melt at that temperature I mean take fire to steel and see if it melts it won't

11:11absolutely not you know what a missile sent by our own government is probably what it was

11:15there wasn't even a plane I'm starting to think there wasn't even towers dude I've never been

11:20anybody seen the towers with your own eyes not a picture exactly not a picture that the government

11:24is showing towers god they're changing the weather now do you know about this yeah they control the

11:29weather with frogs I saw it they control the weather yeah wait frogs yeah they shoot the frogs

11:33they're throwing tornadoes at Florida yeah crop control there's too many oranges

11:40I know it sounds crazy but I think at one point these people were trying to start a boy band

11:47all right remember to combine all three words here Darnell Lewis and Jordan Cox please report

11:52to the principal's office I thought it was kind of odd when Ava had one of the volunteers making

11:56announcements now really think about oh actually wait yeah sorry go to the bathroom no no don't

12:02tell them to go to the bathroom Dennis the acoustics are better have them come to the music room yeah

12:07okay fine uh Darnell and Jordan please go to the music room or whatever thank you did you have that

12:11push the whole time you want keep keep doing your work I'll be I'll be right back so I had to go down

12:16there and check it out for myself I'll make love to you like you want me to and I'll hold you tight baby all through the night

12:29oh this is what we want yeah this is it that's good you're a very good singer very nice

12:35not a little pitchy but it's looking fine yeah but my main concern is he's coming off like kind

12:41of a nerd you know we've already got our nerd we need a bad boy we do uh hey Steven would you say

12:45you're a bad boy I don't know you don't know you don't know I feel like a bad boy would know if he was

12:51bad right yeah I think so yeah damn it I told Mac to get the detention list yeah because that's how we're

12:56gonna find that boy hey how we doing all right what's what's going on in here oh we're just

13:01having auditions yeah Ava said we could use the room yeah we got her real quick just want to walk

13:06this back um Ava said that it was okay for you to pull kids out of class so they could sing for you

13:11yeah otherwise how are we gonna know it's kind of like a class in a way it's a music class basically

13:16like we're just kind of like shopping for kids here and we got a pretty good collection you know we got

13:21a nerd and we got the boy next door we got the ugly one that people feel sorry for but yeah he's so ugly

13:25like he's uglier than maybe too ugly yeah now we found our bad boy yeah you see the bad boy is the

13:32most important one though because the bad boy uh uh makes the sexual component less weird

13:37yeah I wouldn't have said that but that's not why that's not why this was some crazy shit

13:48I didn't want to deal with it so I took it to Ava

13:51Ava what the others were right these volunteers have got to go no you were right they're amazing

14:00in their stands I might frame them for another crime just to get their hours up

14:04okay she was right between fighting teachers pissing in lockers and the boy band thing I should have

14:20booted their ass because that white woman was going in what do you mean you didn't get the fight

14:26on camera what is wrong with you I'd let that bitch kick my ass so that I could look like a victim

14:32you think I couldn't kick her she's tiny I could destroy her I'd rip her hair out I got old I'd rip

14:39this whole school bald if I wanted to oh but that would look like some kind of hate crime and the

14:44liberal media would oh wouldn't they just love that no I'm not doing it what's wrong with you

14:49you call yourself a camera crew oh my god get your head out of your ass now I've seen some shit

14:55but crazy white people hit different let me kick her ass no I am not a violent person

15:03but if I want to kick someone's ass I will just let me kick her ass she said that no no and you

15:10know what I'm not mad I'm not because I am totally over that woman um because I am a happy person

15:17so I'm so sorry I saw a mosquito

15:26yeah so at one point I was misled into believing they were shooting an educational video in the

15:34vein of Billy Joel's we didn't start the fire I don't know how the fuck they got on this

15:38knock knock knock I've got a uh piping hot caramel macchiato for a Melissa

15:45that's me oh there you are thank you Dennis no it's my pleasure absolutely hey go birds go birds

15:51hey listen um might I trouble you with a query on the subject of Billy Joel uh with the scale being

15:57one I can't stand his music to ten I think he's the single greatest musician in the history of sound

16:02where do you place the man negative five but you know who is a massive fan

16:07150 a million ten infinity amazing okay great yeah so we're actually looking to recruit teachers

16:13to help us with uh a little song

16:16by that point I should have known better but um I'm a sucker for anything Billy Joel related

16:22this is really exciting guys okay so here's here's what we're gonna do um you our modern educators are

16:29going to sing the updated lyrics to Billy Joel's classic song and we will be reenacting the iconic

16:35historical moments on video at a later date oh my god can we be part of that as well I feel like

16:40it wouldn't be right if you weren't that's that's great let's get them involved yeah and uh as a matter

16:44of fact I'm gonna film the rehearsal if you don't mind yeah shoot everything um okay I'm gonna stumble

16:48through one don't don't worry if you get it wrong let's let's just try it from the top okay uh okay

16:53Katelyn Clark and Angel Reese Captain Sully hit some geese marijuana legalized the price of copper's on the rise

17:04Kaepernick takes a knee Ozempic cures obesity Y2K was overblown they shut down Guantanamo

17:12actually they did start a fire you see this look it's not even wilted it's indestructible you're

17:38telling me that an entire building is gonna melt to the ground but we can't even melt the bench

17:41eventually the whole song thing fell apart when they discovered something that they did not like

17:50look guys I'm so excited and I really can't wait to be a part of the reenactments just want to throw

18:01that out there again but I'm just curious like as to why you guys are doing it I just was wondering

18:07oh yeah that's a good question like so we realized that the kids don't know anything about 9-11 really

18:11it's like a joke or meme to them and like never forget you know instead never forget and they seem to

18:16have forgotten I love this I mean I love this human beings have been educating one another through

18:22the method of song for generations that predate even the most ancient of society absolutely yeah

18:28it's true this particular song was instrumental I would say in our educations and we just felt like

18:33it was due for an update right it's due for an update and I love that you guys did it almost better

18:37than fallout boy you know with the lyric change and everything well no this is Billy Joel song

18:41oh no no the the band fallout boy they they they already did an update yeah like of this song

18:47changed all the lyrics and who's fallout boy it's an emo band that did a really good update it was

18:53really good okay yeah I thought that's why yeah will you excuse us for a moment we're gonna need a

19:00we're just gonna need a minute okay is it to go listen to their version no no okay apparently this

19:08fallout boy thing was a big deal to them god damn time we try a single thing this god damn fallout

19:15boy I've got nothing for this in all my years of teaching primary school I have never seen a

19:35student of mine tantrum that long and these were full-grown adults with fully developed frontal lobes

19:42I thought they were done but then I found this video online it was titled fallout boy can't stop us

19:48I gotta hand it to these jabronis because I didn't really like the original because I felt like billy joel

20:14didn't even try to match the lyrics to the video but these guys they milked the school for every

20:19minute of content they could it reminded me of that verse on DMX is what you want there was Brenda

20:25Latisha Linda Felicia I wasn't mad at it it was a bop look at the end of the day did I like those people

20:32no I did not but I I will admit that what they did before they left was pretty nice thank you all so

20:40much for coming here please enjoy a round of drinks on us oh Johnny Walker blue no spirits

20:46Chardonnay please oh gosh we don't have a bottle already open yeah okay Heineken well no imports though

20:53yeah Jesus Christ uh how about an iced tea iced tea uh I think we have ice nope don't have ice I

21:02already checked and yeah no we're off water all together actually not doing water anymore in the

21:07bar that's a whole thing you know I am so sorry but um why are we here like what what what is this oh

21:11um yes no fair um yeah well listen we just wanted to let you know that our experience uh with you

21:17really touched us you know you you blindsided us with your heart and your care for those children

21:24and while Frank is sorry that he couldn't be here today he did spring for this gift for your

21:29teacher's lounge Mac a new espresso machine nice right yeah we don't even have one of these

21:37may you be as happy as you are caffeinated

21:41maybe they're kind of sweet that was kind of sweet yeah yeah it wasn't that sweet come with me

21:48I think they lured us down to their bar so the old one can do this

21:54he must have ripped out about a hundred feet of copper but on the bright side the state was

22:05gonna make us move out some old pipes so actually he saved us a few grand in construction costs

22:09I'm gonna lose my job if anyone sees this so burn those tapes

22:39obviously almost somewhere on me that says you don't know

22:57I don't know what happened.

Category

Transcript

Recommended