- 2 days ago
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00:00Ah! Now you've finished breakfast, I want you to go into the garden.
00:09Why do I get the feeling that I'm going into the garden?
00:13We must help Emmett.
00:15Well, how is my going into the garden helping Emmett?
00:18Because he's so shy, poor dear.
00:22Now look, I know he's dying to offer me a role in The Boyfriend,
00:25but he just can't pluck up the courage.
00:27Yeah, I think he's got people for all the parts already.
00:33Now, you go out into the garden, and when you spot him,
00:36give me a signal, and I'll start to sing.
00:40What signal?
00:41Oh, point or something.
00:44But what act?
00:45At anything. Point, up in the air.
00:48Say, oh, look, there's a bluebird.
00:51There aren't any bluebirds.
00:52Blackbirds.
00:53Well, it's blackbirds, then.
00:55Please don't make difficulties, Richard.
00:59Well, you should tell her.
01:01She never listens.
01:04Harsinth is a talker, not a listener.
01:06You was face up to her fairly and squarely.
01:09I tried that.
01:10I told her the other morning, in the middle of that excruciating coffee session.
01:14The one you couldn't make, sister dear.
01:20Harsinth, I said.
01:21Harsinth, my production of The Boyfriend is already fully cast.
01:25That was very brave.
01:27What did she say?
01:29She gave me one of her smiles,
01:31slipped me a parsnip and rhubarb biscuit,
01:34and then asked me whether I'd seen her pictures of Sheridan
01:37when he came first in his dance class.
01:42Have you seen them?
01:43No, thank heavens.
01:44Oh, they're worth a look.
01:46Poor Sheridan.
01:48You know, he never really stood a chance.
01:51Show me your signal, Richard.
01:52Right, I'm off.
02:12Is the coast clear?
02:13Well, there's just Richard behaving very strangely.
02:17Poor chap's finally flipped.
02:27And who can blame him?
02:29I'm amazed he didn't flip years ago.
02:36Morning, Richard.
02:42Good morning, Emmett.
02:43Oh, look, a blackbird.
02:48Oh, look, another.
02:57Oh, Violet, you know you can confide in me.
03:02You're getting fed up with whose company?
03:05Bruce's?
03:07Oh, well, that's only natural.
03:08He's your husband.
03:09Oh, yes, they do get tiresome.
03:14What you need is another dimension to your lifestyle.
03:19Yes, perhaps you should entertain a little more.
03:22Mmm, give a little soiree.
03:25I could come along and bring some socially acceptable guests.
03:29Yes.
03:31No, don't get alarmed, Violet, dear.
03:33We can keep it quite simple.
03:35Oh, a little caviar, champagne and cut-glass fingerprints.
03:43Onslow?
03:45Where did we first make love?
03:55Did you repeat the question?
04:00Where did we first make love?
04:03It made such an impression on you, you can't even remember it.
04:09I can remember when we last made love.
04:15Just.
04:18Why is father standing in a bucket?
04:23Is he standing in a bucket?
04:25Just standing there with both feet in the bucket.
04:28Is he quiet?
04:29Yes.
04:30So leave him alone.
04:31Get yourself another bucket.
04:33I don't want a bucket.
04:35So why do you care if father's standing in a bucket?
04:40I wish I'd never asked.
04:45Why didn't you come out when I signalled?
04:47I was on the telephone.
04:50Oh, of nothing to wear.
04:52Well, you've missed Emmett.
04:56Oh, you can forget all about that now.
04:59What?
05:01We shall invite Elizabeth and Emmett to go with us tonight to Violet's.
05:05Are we going to Violet's?
05:07Yes, Richard.
05:09For a superlative summer evening with my well-heeled sister.
05:13Caviar, champagne, quail's eggs, cut-glass finger bowls.
05:21Hmm.
05:27Is Rose cooking breakfast?
05:29I shouldn't think so.
05:31Well, if Rose is cooking breakfast, it smells very funny.
05:34It was in that bush shelter in Milton Street.
05:45What was?
05:47Where we first made love.
05:49No, it wasn't.
05:51We never needed a bus that went past Milton Street.
05:56I was sure I had a boyfriend that needed a bus that went past Milton Street.
06:01Well, it wasn't me.
06:02It's not an empty bucket.
06:09What's in it?
06:11Horse manure.
06:15Ask a simple question.
06:17Father is standing barefoot in a bucket of horse manure.
06:22Why would he do that?
06:25Maybe he lost his slippers.
06:29I knew it didn't smell like breakfast.
06:32You'll love it at Violet's.
06:40You've heard me talk of Violet.
06:42Many times.
06:43She's my sister with the Mercedes sauna and room for a pony.
06:49You must bring Emmett.
06:50We shall have a superlative summer evening.
06:56Caviar, champagne, quail's eggs, smoked salmon parcels.
07:00Nothing too formal.
07:03Just something tasteful with hand-engraved cut-glass finger bowls.
07:07Oh, Emmett will love it.
07:15Oh, Emmett will love it.
07:28Oh, I don't think Emmett will be able to come, Hyacinth.
07:31Hmm?
07:32Oh, he will when he knows I'll be there.
07:34Well, I'm not even certain I can get word to him.
07:38You see, he's rehearsing all day at the church hall.
07:41Oh, don't worry about that, dear.
07:43We'll catch him there.
07:45Well, I don't know that that's a fright.
07:47I could help Emmett drill his cast.
07:51It'd be nice for him to have someone to lean on.
07:55Oh, I'm sorry.
07:56How did that get in there?
07:57I'm terribly sorry, Hyacinth.
08:08Don't worry, dear.
08:10They're not really all that expensive.
08:15More than most people would pay, but then accidents will happen.
08:20Rather too frequently, unfortunately.
08:24Oh!
08:27Should we really be interrupting Emmett's rehearsals?
08:34That's been worrying me, too.
08:36Oh, Emmett won't mind if it's me.
08:38Emmett and I are bonded by our mutual love of music.
08:42Well, I think perhaps we ought to warn him.
08:43Call him on the telephone first.
08:45That sounds like a very good idea.
08:48But there's no phone in the church hall.
08:50We'll have to phone the vicarage,
08:52and his poor wife will have to take the message over to the hall.
08:55I still think it might be the thing to do.
08:57Richard, did you see this?
09:23This man pushed in.
09:25Just wait.
09:27Wait!
09:28Why should I wait?
09:35Excuse me, but that's my telephone call you're making.
09:38I was here first.
09:41Please go away, madam.
09:43I shan't be a minute.
09:44Richard, eject this man.
09:51Richard, this man's insulted me.
09:57Not quite, but it's getting close.
09:59You obviously overuse the public system.
10:16I very rarely use it,
10:17as I possess a white, slimline telephone
10:19with automatic re-dial.
10:21With a horse like yours,
10:23I'm surprised you even need a telephone.
10:25Richard, come and help me.
10:34Hyacinth, stop that at once
10:36and get into the car!
10:38Well done, sir.
10:54In wartime, you'd have got a medal for courage like that.
10:56We've been finished
11:02and our family's one
11:04we've been diminished
11:06but at least we all have a medal.
11:12Hold it.
11:13Hold it, girls.
11:14That's very good,
11:16but I think we can do a bit more work.
11:19Vic,
11:19have you ever done this sort of thing?
11:22Not for some time.
11:23University?
11:24I'm sure you can remember the old...
11:27Yes.
11:38Knees are a bit rusty.
11:40No, it's good, it's good.
11:41It's not... not... not bad at all.
11:42Why don't you come up here
11:44and we'll show them how to do it.
11:46Okay.
11:46Come on, girls.
11:48Go down there and watch.
11:56We're perfect young ladies
11:58preparing to be...
11:59This is amongst the noblesse.
12:03We're perfect young ladies
12:04preparing to be...
12:12Father's not as daft as you think.
12:20Standing in a bucket of horse manure.
12:23He's giving it a good try.
12:25He says it's good for his chillblains.
12:28Has he got chillblains?
12:30No, so there must be something in it.
12:32Where did he get the stuff from anyway?
12:38He found it in the street.
12:41He's beginning to worry
12:42where his next load's coming from.
12:44Well, I'm not going out collecting for him.
12:54Now what?
12:57He may think it's good for his chillblains,
12:59but if that's the only medicine he's got faith in,
13:02I hope he never gets barber's rash.
13:03It's no good sulking, Harrison.
13:23The situation called for firm measures.
13:26It was embarrassing.
13:27It was embarrassing.
13:30I must say, Richard,
13:31there are times when I'm amazed by your impatience
13:34and your lack of consideration for other people.
13:38My impatience?
13:40Yes.
13:42Elizabeth was a witness.
13:44She heard you raise your voice to me.
13:49Well, I've never raised my voice to you before.
13:52Well, I think I'll just go and warn him at your coming.
13:55No.
13:56We'll surprise him.
14:01I think I'd rather be out here
14:07when Emmett's surprised.
14:08And don't forget the smiles.
14:12Always big smiles.
14:14Is that what you're wearing?
14:29Not very haute couture, is it?
14:32Has anyone seen Emmett?
14:34I had to leave.
14:35In a hurry.
14:36In a great hurry.
14:38Oh, what a pity.
14:40You'll be sorry he's missed me.
14:41Of course, I could wait
14:45and take you through your paces.
14:47Any girl who's reached the age of seventeen or their vows
14:57Has got my desire in you
15:02She does, she does, she does, she's a slave
15:05Even one to care about
15:07Nothing else will be true
15:11Let's go right outside
15:19It's her husband
15:27Come on, quick
15:29Isn't that young?
15:36My wife, yes
15:37I thought I recognised the noise
15:39We need a voice
15:41Shall we go round the back, wee?
15:45What a good idea
15:46Oh, my friend
15:50Did you note my diction is very important
15:56The audience can hear the words
15:58Why exactly is Mrs. Bouquet singing?
16:03She wanted to involve herself in my brother's rehearsals
16:06Oh, I bet he was pleased
16:08Please don't feel embarrassed watching me
16:14I can quite understand how envious you must be
16:17It's a gift, you see
16:19Some of us have it, some of us don't
16:21You can't all expect to have voices like myself and Joan Sutherland
16:26Thank you for helping me carry the jumble
16:30We'll put it under the stage
16:31Would you mind, Elizabeth?
16:33No, no, no, of course not
16:34If I pop inside, perhaps you'd hand things down to me
16:38Certainly
16:38What on earth's going on?
16:47What are you all doing down here?
16:50Rehearsing
16:51Aren't we?
16:52Yes
16:53Yes
16:53Yes
16:53A very tricky routine
16:55Oh
16:56Very tricky
16:58Ready, girls?
17:00One, two, three
17:01We're perfect
17:02Young ladies
17:03Prepare you to do
17:04Emmett!
17:05What on earth are you doing?
17:08Rehearsing
17:08I'm afraid I'm not convinced
17:11Michael, what are you doing under the stage with three girls?
17:16Well, it's not just three girls
17:17Emmett's here
17:18He's a single man
17:20Divorce?
17:22It's the same thing
17:24Not quite technically, dear
17:26Excuse me
17:28Look, why are you making such fuss?
17:34You think under the stage in the pitch dark with three girls is really appropriate for a vicar?
17:41Well, darkness is clerical territory
17:43You're supposed to fight it, not join it
17:46Hello
17:49There's a perfectly simple explanation
17:52I know
17:53That's what worries me
17:55Oh, there you are, Emmett
17:57Just when I thought I was in enough trouble
18:01And you too, vicar
18:03How fortunate to find you all together
18:06I have a surprise for you
18:07You're all invited this evening
18:11To my sister Violet's
18:13She's the one with the Mercedes
18:14The sauna and room for a pony
18:16Now, I want you all there at six o'clock this evening
18:20For a bon vivant buffet
18:22And alfresco manchettes
18:24The weather permitting, of course
18:27We do on soggy volovan, do we?
18:29Now, Richard
18:47I want you to be at your most elegant this evening
18:51I don't do a good elegant
18:57But of course you do, dear
19:00Look who's been training you all these years
19:03Something about the buffet items
19:08Oh, you can fetch all that in a minute
19:10Listen, it's even better than ours
19:18Hello, dear
19:22Hi, Yacinth
19:23Richard
19:25Where the hell have you gone now?
19:28Violet
19:28Pay attention when I'm yelling at you
19:31Get lost
19:33At you
19:35Him
19:36Lovely to see you both
19:38Who was this guy you were with
19:46In the bus shelter in Milton Street?
19:50Don't worry about him
19:52You liked him
19:53It's not as if it was somebody you didn't like
19:56Sounds as if you liked him better
19:58What do you mean, I liked him?
20:03He was a friend of yours
20:05Oh, nice
20:07Some friend
20:08It's not as if we were married at the time
20:14Father's gone
20:16Did you know she used to be in a bus shelter in Milton Street with some guy
20:20Only on Fridays
20:22What guy?
20:24That's what I want to know
20:25What guy?
20:26What do you mean, Father's gone?
20:29Oh, he's gone with his bucket looking for another load
20:32Do you mean that shelter at the bottom end of Milton Street?
20:37That's the one
20:38Oh, I've spent some happy hours in that shelter
20:42Sounds as though everybody except me spent happy hours in that bus shelter
20:47I think he's jealous
20:49Oh, I think that's so sweet
20:53I wouldn't mind you
20:58But always borrowing your bus fare
20:59It looks rather good
21:03Not quite my candlelight supper
21:06But it's certainly elegant
21:07Why are you trying to choke me?
21:10I hate you!
21:11I can't stand you!
21:12Why don't we just phone round and cancel everybody?
21:15Richard, I will not disappoint people
21:17We have friends coming tonight
21:19Who are expecting a bon vivant buffet and alfresco munchiettes
21:23And that's exactly what they're going to receive
21:25But what about the row indoors?
21:27It'll quieten down
21:29It'll have to
21:31If it doesn't, we'll drown it out with music
21:34Do we have any music?
21:37Don't make difficulties, Richard
21:39Take a positive attitude, dear
21:42I want this evening to be elegant and memorable
21:46Don't do that!
21:48I have a feeling it is going to be memorable
21:51Hmm
21:55Oh, yes, that's really lovely
22:02An elegant gastronomic delight
22:06Are you on top of the barbecue, Richard?
22:11I'm getting there
22:13Slowly
22:14You've hidden the carving knife again
22:17I've every reason to hide
22:19Carving knife
22:19Did you hear that?
22:21Richard, I will not have you eavesdropping on private conversations
22:25You call that private?
22:27Get out of my way!
22:29Do something, dear
22:31I hate you!
22:33Your legs are too short
22:34Wait, I have an idea
22:36I'm going nowhere near them if they're waving carving knives around
22:39We need to be able to drown out their voices
22:42Nor am I contacting the Royal Artillery
22:46No
22:48Just go and have a look inside
22:50And see if you can find some large sheets of card
22:53And a thick pen
22:55What for?
22:57Never you mind
22:58Couldn't we have a puncher or something?
23:01Couldn't the car break down
23:02And then we couldn't possibly get there?
23:04You promised the vicar you'd come
23:06You're going to give each other mutual support
23:08If I had a brain, you'd think I'd be married to you
23:11There
23:13Well, what are you going to do?
23:16Hold it up and hope that Violet and Bruce will surrender?
23:20No
23:21We're going to have a barbecue sing-song
23:24Surely you can understand anyone hiding from the bucket woman
23:29Yes, of course I can
23:31What I can't understand is why you felt you needed the moral support
23:36Of three attractive young ladies
23:39You're the one with them out
23:41Do you really think this is going to work?
23:42What did I say makes sense?
23:44It will if you sing loud enough
23:46That's probably Elizabeth and Emmett
23:51Well, at least it's quiet at the moment
23:54They'll be in each other's arms
23:57Looking for the jugular
23:59Hello, Elizabeth and Emmett
24:02Hello
24:03Hello
24:04Welcome to our barbecue
24:05With the unique sing-for-your-supper speciality
24:10Oh, no
24:11She's not going to sing
24:12Tell me she's not going to sing
24:14Be quiet
24:16Well, I must say the buffet looks lovely, Hyacinth
24:20Thank you, dear
24:21How does the singing side of the evening work?
24:25Oh, it's a party game based on an idea
24:28Originally conceived by Henry VIII for his banquets
24:31How interesting
24:33Yes, fascinating
24:35Yes, it's perfectly simple
24:37Whenever I pick up one of these cards
24:40Then everyone sings the song it names
24:43I know, I just better look
24:45Rule Britannia
24:47Britannia rules the waves
24:49Britannia never, never, never shall be slaves
24:54Oh, Richard, sing up, dear
24:55Rule Britannia
24:57Britannia rules the waves
25:00Britannia never, never, never shall be slaves
25:05Lovely
25:05Lovely
25:07Now, what can I offer you as a preliminary nibble?
25:13Do you think she has any suicide pills?
25:16Behave yourselves
25:17Oh, hello again, Vicar
25:20How nice to see you and your good lady
25:23Good evening, Mrs Bucket
25:25Bookie
25:25Do relax and enjoy yourselves
25:28Why'd you go that funny collar?
25:31I think I've stood life with you
25:32There's always a country lane
25:39Wherever there's a party small
25:43Beside the field of rain
25:47There's always a country lane
25:50And England shall be free
25:54Just a party game, Vicar
26:00You'll soon get the hang of it
26:03Richard will soon have the hot food ready, won't you, dear?
26:10But in the meantime, do help yourself to my ancillary items
26:14Thank you, Hyacinth
26:15Don't bite me there!
26:16No inviting me there!
26:19There will always be a new heart
26:23While there's a country lane
26:26She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes
26:30She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes
26:34She'll be coming round the mountain
26:37Coming round the mountain
26:38Coming round the mountain when she comes
26:41I can't believe this is happening
26:44Now, do help yourselves
26:47I don't want to take it all home again
26:49It all has to be eaten
26:51How dare you say that?
26:54Oh, that's Donald
26:55We had a farm
26:56E-I-E-I-O
26:58And on that farm there was a
27:00E-I-O-E-I-O
27:03With a quack-packing
27:04Quack-packing
27:05Quack-packing
27:06Quack-packing
27:07Oh, Richard, what are you doing?
27:10Your barbecue's out of control
27:12Daddy, what a miracle
27:15Just when we need him
27:18Daddy appears with a bucket of water
27:20Oh, dear
27:23What a pity Bruce can't stay
27:40You wouldn't join us, Violet, dear
27:43I thought we might take home a Chinese
27:46What a pity
27:48What a lkov
27:49Slovoc
27:50What a pity
27:51You wouldn't join us
27:53I went
27:56The little
27:57Club
27:58A
27:59The
28:00A
28:02We
28:02Industry
28:03Why
28:03Why
28:04I
28:06K
28:08K
28:10Well
28:11There
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