- today
Virgins Season 1 Episode 6
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Short filmTranscript
00:00.
00:05Deanne, do you want to tell them, like, what you haven't been doing?
00:09Previously on Virgins.
00:11So I don't really tell people about my lack of sexual experience.
00:14This situation is my worst nightmare.
00:16I haven't been hooking up with people a lot.
00:18If someone could take Deanne's V card, Conrad is the guy that could get it done.
00:23Thumb up if you are interested in the person next to you.
00:27Oh!
00:30Hello.
00:31Hi.
00:32This is Lauren.
00:33I'm really happy Alex is dating again.
00:35Oh!
00:37What a comeback.
00:39Knowing that I'm one step closer to losing my virginity, it's surreal to me.
00:45You're the second man in my life where I've touched me like this.
00:48When it comes to pleasure and touch.
00:51Oh.
00:52I think meeting with a sex surrogate and having a more open mind will allow me to experience
00:59physical intimacy with a man.
01:01What does that feel like?
01:02Amazing.
01:03Oh.
01:04I met a guy.
01:06Do you think that you could have sex with him?
01:09Absolutely.
01:10Oh my gosh.
01:11Look at that.
01:12Handy land.
01:13Handy land.
01:14Oh my goodness.
01:15I am a 42 year old virgin at an adult resort.
01:19Why don't you text your boo thing?
01:22Since?
01:23I don't know if he's gonna say yes and I'm like, oh my God, is this really gonna happen?
01:28This is sexy.
01:45It is the second day at the resort.
01:47It's so wild.
01:49Like all the guys and the girls, they're just like eyeballing me and looking like they
01:54could smell, smell the newness.
01:57I got asked to join couples as I was walking to my room.
02:04Um, I politely declined.
02:07And then I seen a guy with his wiener out.
02:12And he was big.
02:14Walking around, there's a lot going on.
02:23There's ass shaking, pasties.
02:26Hey everybody.
02:27Hi.
02:28Can we join?
02:29Get on the way.
02:30Can I join is like the motto here.
02:32Yeah.
02:33Take it off.
02:34Some naked pieces, you know, all the parts.
02:39Yeah.
02:40And things was floating.
02:42I was like, well.
02:43We don't see you guys too often.
02:45You guys first time?
02:46Yeah, first time.
02:47Never been?
02:48Never been.
02:49So welcome.
02:50Thank you for having us.
02:51Definitely ready to build some new friendships.
02:53Right.
02:54Yeah.
02:55So has anyone piqued your fancy?
02:56I'm kind of talking to someone.
02:58Ooh.
02:59Okay.
03:00Yes.
03:01Is he here?
03:02Oh, he may be coming.
03:03He may be coming.
03:04Oh.
03:05No way.
03:06I've been talking to this amazing guy named William.
03:09And last night I texted him and invited him to come to the resort to meet me.
03:14I just found out he's going to come and he'll be here tonight.
03:17Well, do you want him to come?
03:19Yes.
03:20Yeah.
03:21Definitely.
03:22Coming is important.
03:24I am kind of nervous, but still excited.
03:28You know, we've just been talking for a couple of weeks.
03:31What if he thinks I'm moving too fast?
03:33You know, I don't want to like push him away.
03:35But at the same time, this place is very sexy.
03:38And I'm thinking about him.
03:41I really would like him to come.
03:43So cheers to new friendships.
03:44Cheers.
03:45And a amazing weekend for Washa.
03:47Now we got it.
03:48Washa, girl, get it.
03:50It's definitely going to be my weekend to experience and explore.
03:53Big Pur came to play.
03:57Big Pur came to play.
03:59Since Lauren met my family, we went on a couple of dates.
04:08And the chemistry is amazing.
04:09We're always laughing.
04:10Like, he's always making me laugh.
04:11I'm open to seeing where this goes.
04:12Have you guys kissed yet?
04:15No, we haven't kissed.
04:16We're having pizza.
04:17It's great.
04:18Yay!
04:19I love it.
04:20I got pepperoni.
04:21And I got a slice of the white garlic pizza.
04:22She's awesome.
04:23I can just be myself around her.
04:24And it feels amazing just to be able to do that.
04:26Cheers.
04:27Cheers.
04:28Cheers.
04:29I know it's early in our relationship, but I wanted to try and plan something a little
04:56So I took a big leap, and I asked Lauren to go away for a weekend, and she said yes.
05:03I'm really excited.
05:15We just pulled into the parking lot of this amazing couple's, I guess, resorts.
05:22I hope it's fun.
05:26Yeah, me too, me too.
05:27All right.
05:29Oh.
05:30Yep.
05:32Ooh, this is gonna be fun.
05:33Yes, it is.
05:34I went on the internet and searched for nice romantic getaways, and I clicked on the first link that popped up, thought it was great, and booked it.
05:47Okay.
05:49Oh, my God.
05:51Alex.
05:53Oh, my God.
05:54This is ridiculous.
05:56So as we walk in, I'm kind of curious on what Lauren's thinking, because I'm not sure if girls are really into that sort of thing, but I feel like we could have fun with it.
06:08Are you gonna tell her you're a virgin?
06:10Ugh.
06:13I know I need to tell her, but...
06:15Hi, how are you?
06:16Are you here to check in?
06:18I'm just nervous, because I don't know how she's gonna take it.
06:21I really don't.
06:22You're gonna go down lover's lane.
06:24I'm hoping that if I bring her here and romance her a little bit, it'll soften the blow, so she might accept it.
06:32All right.
06:33Whoa.
06:34Oh, my.
06:35Oh, the fireplace.
06:36What in the world?
06:37Heart-shaped pool?
06:38This was a lot bigger than I was expecting.
06:39It's so spacious.
06:40That's so cool.
06:41There's a sauna right there, and there is a massage tube.
06:44I've never seen a heart-shaped pool. I'm kind of questioning, you know, what this is.
06:48That's incredible.
06:49Look at the ceiling.
06:50Oh, my God.
06:51Are those so cool?
06:52Oh, my God.
06:53Oh, my God.
06:54Oh, my God.
06:55Oh, my God.
06:56Oh, my God.
06:57Oh, my God.
06:58Oh, my God.
06:59Oh, my God.
07:00Oh, my God.
07:01Oh, my God.
07:02Oh, my God.
07:03Oh, my God.
07:04Oh, my God.
07:05Oh, my God.
07:06Oh, my God.
07:07Oh, my God.
07:08Stars?
07:09Lots of mirrors.
07:10I think the room looks great.
07:12It's different than most hotel rooms, but I think it looks really nice, and I'm excited
07:18to see what we do with it.
07:21It's totally uncomfortable.
07:22It's not what I expected.
07:24I guess it screams over-the-top romance, but it's definitely not something I would have
07:28picked.
07:29I think it's really weird and cool that this is round.
07:32Yeah, I haven't seen a round bed before.
07:34Me neither.
07:35The mirrors, though.
07:36Do you think it moves?
07:37I don't know.
07:38Do you think it moves?
07:39I don't know.
07:40Keep your hand and feet on the bed at all times while in motion.
07:43That makes sense.
07:44That's insane.
07:46Oh, my gosh.
07:47Oh, that's awesome.
07:48Oh, my gosh.
07:49That's going to be fun.
07:50A champagne bottle.
07:51Do you want me to pop it open for you?
07:54Um, why don't we explore?
07:55I could use a glass of wine.
07:56We'll see this.
07:57All right.
07:58All right.
07:59I am fantasizing what will happen, but I don't want to get my hopes up.
08:07I did shave my downstairs.
08:08Let's see what spooners have to offer.
08:22That's a funny name.
08:24It is.
08:25You want to go to the bar?
08:26Yeah.
08:27All right.
08:28Can I have a glass of Chardonnay?
08:29Chardonnay?
08:30Sure.
08:31Can I get a beer, please?
08:32Sure.
08:33I think right now it's going pretty good.
08:37We're talking.
08:38We're laughing.
08:39But I don't feel like I'll enjoy the weekend if I don't get a chance to tell Lauren that
08:44I'm a virgin.
08:45All right.
08:46Thank you so much.
08:47You are so welcome.
08:48Thank you so much.
08:49I appreciate it.
08:50You're welcome.
08:51I probably should have told her sooner, but I didn't want to feel that feeling of rejection.
08:54Now that I didn't and I'm telling her now, it could kind of ruin everything.
08:59And that's what's scaring me.
09:02I think it's kind of cool how they have, like, an indoor mini golf.
09:05Yeah.
09:06And then, like, bowling.
09:08I'm glad they have options.
09:10So now it's like, you're not doing that.
09:12You're doing, you can do something other than, you know.
09:14Oh my God.
09:17What's there to do up here?
09:22Nothing.
09:23You just pay.
09:25Totally.
09:26So what did you think of the room?
09:28I thought the room was just a bit overwhelming.
09:31When I saw it online, I thought it would be kind of like, I don't know.
09:35Some, it's definitely different.
09:37But, um, I, I have something I need to tell you.
09:43I don't know how to really come out and say it, but...
09:55I don't know what he's going to tell me.
09:59I'm nervous.
10:00So...
10:01I'm still thinking about my massage from Wayne, the intimacy coach.
10:13I can't believe I even let my guard down and allowed myself to be vulnerable with him.
10:30If you had asked me a few months ago to even talk about doing all this, I'd think you're nuts.
10:36I have really been pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
10:39And I must admit that it's making me more comfortable and curious when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure.
10:45But physically speaking, I'm stuck.
10:50The dilators continue to be super painful and uncomfortable.
10:54Kimberly, the sex therapist, recommended I become friends with my vagina.
10:58The first thing you need to do is make friends with your own vagina.
11:02That's a first. I've never heard of that before.
11:05So, um, I did some research and I decided to meet with a priestess healer.
11:11I'll try anything to be able to have sex.
11:14Hi.
11:15Hi, nice to meet you.
11:17I'm Sonali.
11:18Hello, welcome.
11:19Nice to meet you as well.
11:24Welcome to the temple.
11:26Yes.
11:27Come on in and have a seat here.
11:30My name is Nikki Jean and I am a healer and priestess.
11:35It's an honor to have you here.
11:37Thank you for having me here.
11:39My main focus is sexual exploration.
11:42A lot of us have been programmed to disconnect and have shame in regards to that.
11:47And so a lot of women come for empowerment and embodiment and to activate their own sensual powers.
11:55So if you would like, you can share a little bit of your intentions and your story of what's going on with your body and your womb.
12:04So that we can kind of figure out what we would like to do for your process.
12:08So I am 37 years young and still a virgin.
12:13Wow.
12:15Part of that is cultural.
12:17It's emotional and also physical.
12:19My well-intentioned immigrant parents, they did not allow me to date.
12:22Boys are bad.
12:23Sex is bad.
12:25And then also I realized I'm really tight in my lady parts.
12:28Recently, I visited a pelvic floor therapist.
12:32She explored the physical challenges I have down there.
12:35I have vaginismus.
12:37She gave me dilators.
12:39So have they been working for you, the dilators?
12:42I've only been able to get this much in.
12:45You've got to take that as a good sign that there is a relaxing.
12:48There is a surrendering happening.
12:51This is my first time working with someone that has vaginismus.
12:54It's not my first virgin.
12:56But I think it's wonderful that Sonali has been really focused on the physical.
13:00But I feel that she does need to deal with the emotional.
13:03If Sonali can release a lot of the fear and the anxiety,
13:07she can actually surrender to more pleasure.
13:10I would like to take you through a bit of yoni mapping
13:13to activate your pleasure body and to soften your body.
13:17The yoni is Sanskrit for vagina.
13:20And the goal is to be able to map a full circle around the yoni
13:24and for it to be open, soft, receiving, with no restriction,
13:29no anxiety, no fear, just pure receiving and surrender.
13:35If you're feeling comfortable with it, I have a rose quartz wand
13:40that we can potentially enter to see how your body reacts.
13:44The rose quartz wand, it reminds me of the smallest dilator that I've been trying to use
13:55that has been very painful.
13:57I'm a bit skeptical.
13:59I'm really hoping Nikki Jean has the magic touch.
14:04Breathing nice and deep.
14:08Breathe.
14:09And now I'm going to begin to activate erogenous zones.
14:16Is this okay that I do this?
14:17Mm-hmm.
14:18Okay, great.
14:20And you can use your breath to breathe into your hips.
14:25Telling your yoni that you love her.
14:28Mm-hmm.
14:30Okay, so I have the rose quartz little wand.
14:33And I'm going to use a little bit of coconut oil
14:34just because it's nice to make sure that we're not going to hurt your body.
14:39Mm-hmm.
14:41I am really nervous.
14:43Like, I am truly afraid of how painful it'll be.
14:48What we're going to do is just place this tool at the door.
14:52And exhale and do it.
14:54Can you feel it?
14:55Is that hurting or is it feeling okay?
14:57It's a bit uncomfortable.
14:59Oh, that hurts, that hurts.
15:01Whatever you're doing, just...
15:04What kind of emotion is coming up with the discomfort?
15:08A pain.
15:10A little hurt.
15:11Physical?
15:12Yeah.
15:13Like a pinching sensation.
15:15Is there any fear or any anxiety beneath that?
15:18There is.
15:20It's your truth.
15:21Oh, gosh.
15:22You're doing good.
15:23Oh, my gosh.
15:24I didn't expect this to happen.
15:28I hope you like red wine.
15:30I do.
15:31I love red.
15:32Conrad is super cute.
15:34He's super nice.
15:36It's Deanne's world.
15:37I'm just...
15:38I'm just...
15:39I'm just...
15:40I'm just...
15:41I'm just...
15:42I'm just...
15:43I'm just...
15:44I'm just...
15:45I'm just...
15:46I'm just...
15:47I'm just...
15:48I'm just...
15:49I'm just...
15:50It's Deanne's world.
15:51I'm just living in it.
15:52I can tell Conrad does want to kiss me.
15:53Who knows?
15:54I could hook up with him just to have that experience.
16:12Okay.
16:13Well...
16:14I'm on my way to...
16:17Conrad's.
16:18The guy I matched with at the updating.
16:21I've never gone to a guy's house for a date before.
16:25And I think that kind of makes me anxious because I feel like that could lead to things quicker than a normal date.
16:35I met Conrad for literally 30 minutes in an environment that's just so wild and crazy.
16:41Like, I liked his quick answers that a comedian was asking him, but I have no idea if we're gonna actually click or get along or gonna have any sort of connection at all.
16:50Being 35 and having no sexual experience, like, it's just always like an awkwardness.
17:00Like, I'm always gonna have that fear of I'm doing this bad, I'm doing this wrong, I don't know what I'm doing.
17:05So I'm ready to be through that and to just be having these experiences and just be enjoying it.
17:13Hi!
17:14Hi!
17:15How are you?
17:16I'm good, good to see you.
17:17Good to see you.
17:18How's it going?
17:19Good, it's so cute in here.
17:20Oh my gosh, thank you.
17:21Your neighborhood's so cute.
17:22Yeah.
17:23Thank you for coming.
17:24Thanks for having me.
17:25Well, I'm excited to introduce you to Private Chef Royce.
17:28Wow.
17:29Happy to have him here.
17:30Should we get some wine?
17:31Yeah.
17:32Let's do it.
17:33Since it's her first time coming over, I decided to get a private chef to come and cook an intimate meal for us.
17:42Cheers.
17:43Cheers.
17:44Wow.
17:45I don't know if anything will happen physically.
17:46I don't want to put any expectations on it.
17:48I know that Deanne lives life to her own drum and is on her own timeline and I'm happy and I respect that.
17:55Well, should we step outside?
17:56Sure.
17:57Let's do it after you.
17:58Obviously, I'm very attracted to her.
17:59I think she's beautiful.
18:02I'm just excited to spend quality time with her.
18:04My God, it's so cute back here.
18:07Jeez.
18:08So, this is just kind of my space.
18:10I'm a big outdoors guy.
18:12Does it always look like this?
18:13So, yeah, I actually always have a ton of roses at all times.
18:16All times.
18:17It's just one of my things.
18:18For a first date, it does add an intimacy to it.
18:23Should we sit down?
18:25Wow.
18:26There's roses everywhere and there's candles.
18:30So, in this moment, I'm like, okay, I like this.
18:34So, we met in a fun way.
18:39Yeah, I blacked it out.
18:40I think you crushed it.
18:41It was very overwhelming.
18:43Yeah, but, I mean, it's a tough situation to be in, right?
18:46You're blindfolded.
18:47Especially when they're like, kiss him, kiss him.
18:49I'm like, I just met him five seconds ago.
18:51That's fair.
18:52It was.
18:53That's fair.
18:54And I heard after we got off stage that some girl went on and just made out with the other
18:57guy.
18:58Instantly.
18:59It's even better.
19:00I heard that she made out with two guys.
19:02Yep.
19:03Wow.
19:04Different energy.
19:05Mm-hmm.
19:06The conversation's going good.
19:07It's easy.
19:08We're getting along great.
19:09That kind of freaks me out a little bit because it does make me wonder, is he going to try to
19:15make a move?
19:16Even though I am open to it, I am getting in my head a little bit about what's going to
19:21happen.
19:22One thing you said though, super interesting.
19:25So you're not a relationship person.
19:28No.
19:29I've never had a boyfriend.
19:33Why do you think you're obviously beautiful and smart and dynamic and successful?
19:37Everything in my life, I kind of go for it.
19:41But when it comes to dating, I just don't push myself in that way.
19:45And I think it's because I, instead of everything else in my life, like I leave before I look.
19:50Dating, I kind of look before I leave.
19:52So I've never had that sexual relationship with someone.
19:56It's really weird, I know.
19:57Dang.
19:58I respect that.
20:00And I love that you've like come to peace with that and understood that.
20:04Yeah.
20:05And I love that.
20:06Conrad is super cute.
20:09He's super nice.
20:10All of his answers are amazing.
20:12As I've gone through this experience, I'm realizing that I'm a little too concentrated
20:18on fighting Mr. Perfect.
20:20And it doesn't have to be that way.
20:22I could just have a sex life without it meaning so much more.
20:26I could hook up with him just to have that experience.
20:38I have something I need to tell you.
20:44I don't know how to really come out and say it, but...
20:50So I'm still a virgin.
20:56I feel like we've been having a really good time connecting.
21:06I feel like the feelings have been there.
21:08And that's why I wanted to kind of do something special for this weekend.
21:12So...
21:13Okay.
21:14Yeah.
21:15That's kind of...
21:16Yeah.
21:17Okay.
21:18That's a lot.
21:19Yeah, it is.
21:20For me.
21:21Yeah.
21:24Hearing that Alex is a virgin, I guess I am a little surprised just because he's so outgoing.
21:29But taking me to a romantic place with a sauna and like a pool, like right in your room.
21:35I'm definitely putting kind of the pieces together.
21:38I'm not sure how I feel about it.
21:42In your line of experience, or lack thereof, like...
21:46Yeah.
21:47What is your experience?
21:48I've kissed girls, but not really much of anything else.
21:54So is there like a why?
21:55Is it religious?
21:57Or...
21:58Is it religious?
21:59Um...
22:00I try to date girls, but it's like, you know, they didn't want to give me the time of day
22:03or they just screwed around with me.
22:04And so...
22:05I just kind of chose.
22:07I...
22:08It makes sense now.
22:09I understand the thought process for you.
22:10Yeah.
22:11Okay.
22:12Awesome.
22:13Yeah.
22:14I think this experience speaks to, um, Alex being naive and just wanting to make a romantic
22:21gesture.
22:22It speaks to like his innocence and maybe a little bit of his inexperience that this is what he
22:26was to do, but it was still a really nice gesture.
22:29I...
22:30I think our connection is great.
22:31And I just feel a lot better in telling you.
22:33Yeah.
22:34You know, we all live like different ways and have different experiences.
22:37So that doesn't matter to me.
22:41Lauren's taking the news very well.
22:43All right.
22:44Ready?
22:45Yeah, I'm ready.
22:46Okay.
22:47But now we're heading back to the room and I'm just...
22:50I'm nervous because this is by far the farthest I've ever gone with any woman.
22:56And I don't know what's gonna happen.
23:07I am getting ready to go to the club.
23:12Hopefully William comes.
23:14Are you nervous?
23:15I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm excited for him to see me.
23:22Me and William haven't done anything physically yet.
23:25Just a kiss on the cheek, but we talk every day.
23:28You know, he tells me these nice little bedtime stories.
23:32Stories about us being together sexually.
23:35And I'm still kind of shy about it, but...
23:37Girl, our last interview you told me you wanted your cheeks clapped.
23:40And now you're being shy about it?
23:42Because it's like, it's like actually really like happening.
23:45Like it's because it's like a real possibility now.
23:48And I'm excited.
23:53All right.
23:54You ready?
23:55I'm excited.
23:56I'm ready to go.
23:57I'm hoping Rasha's ready to go, but she's a little bit nervous.
24:00Oh, that looks good.
24:03I mean, she's a 42-year-old virgin.
24:05Like, I don't even understand if you get the magnitude of that.
24:08Cheers, honey.
24:09I am excited for you.
24:11My hope for her tonight is that she can let loose and have fun,
24:15but to her comfort level.
24:17Let me see where he at.
24:18Yes, ma'am.
24:19Oh, he said he's really close.
24:21Okay.
24:22Less than five minutes.
24:23Oh, less than five minutes?
24:24Yeah.
24:25Ooh.
24:29Oh, Lord.
24:31I'm so nervous but excited.
24:34Keep your composure when he walks in.
24:36I want to try.
24:37Okay.
24:38I want to try.
24:39I'm freaking out big time.
24:41Like, oh, my God.
24:42He going to walk through this door.
24:43And I'm sitting there trying not to look at the door,
24:45but still just like trying to twirl.
24:47You ready?
24:48You ready?
24:49You ready?
24:50You ready?
24:51Ready?
24:52Ready.
24:57He's here.
24:58Oh, my God.
25:01Hello?
25:03Hello?
25:07Oh, I thank you so much.
25:13I am freaking out right now.
25:14Like, I'll just tell myself to calm down.
25:16Be cool.
25:17Don't say anything crazy.
25:18No crotch sweat, please.
25:23You having a good time?
25:24You having a good time?
25:25I am.
25:26This is Jessica.
25:28Nice to meet you.
25:29I've heard so much about you.
25:31You look just like your picture.
25:33He looks cute.
25:35Williams always looks handsome.
25:37I'm going to back up and let you talk, girl.
25:39I'm going to go to the bar, honey.
25:41Honestly, I'm like shocked.
25:43He came two and a half hours to see me.
25:46That makes me feel good.
25:47Oh, my goodness.
25:48I'm so happy you're here.
25:49Yeah.
25:49Oh, my God.
25:54I think Rasha's amazing.
25:55To me, the most attractive thing is probably just her face and the way that she carries herself.
26:01She seems very genuine and also incredibly nice.
26:05Tell me more about your stay here so far.
26:08I've seen a lot.
26:10I've seen a lot.
26:12It was a little strange to me that she wanted to go to an adult resort being a virgin.
26:16But also, at the same time, I understand that she is trying to find herself.
26:21And this is just part of the journey.
26:24Well, it sounds like fun.
26:26Mm-hmm.
26:26So I'm curious to see what else they have in the fall.
26:28Yeah.
26:28You're going to see a lot, buddy.
26:30You're going to see a lot.
26:31I'll see a lot.
26:31You know, a lot.
26:33William is definitely in his masculine energy, and that definitely does turn me on.
26:39I don't know how he will be in the bedroom, but, I mean, I think he'll probably take control
26:45and do what he got to do.
26:46I don't know what this is.
26:52It's real good, though, but this is my second one, so I don't know.
26:58I wasn't drunk, but I was just a little bit tipsy.
27:01Mostly, I was a little giddy, a little nervous, a little horny.
27:07All those things.
27:09So, how do you feel about kissing?
27:20Absolutely.
27:24Oh, my God.
27:31I do want to take things to the next level, but I never really kissed a guy like that,
27:37and definitely not in public.
27:39That's super, super nerve-wracking.
27:44Ah!
28:00You're doing good.
28:02It's okay.
28:02Yeah, this is...
28:04I am surprised about the huge wave of emotion that has overcome me.
28:12It's unexpected.
28:15In my mind, I'm thinking I'm here, I'm relaxed, and that for the first time, I'm going to start
28:22to feel pleasure down there.
28:23But then suddenly, it became painful, and I'm getting emotional.
28:30Oh, my gosh, I didn't expect this to happen.
28:32No, this is perfect.
28:33This is what happens.
28:34You're doing good.
28:37The fact that you're crying means it's working, so you're doing a good job.
28:40I am not surprised at all to see Sonali being emotional during the yoni mapping process.
28:47This is actually quite normal.
28:49Sonali needs to feel the emotions that are there instead of disconnecting with them.
28:54If she can actually surrender, she will be able to allow her body to fully experience pleasure.
28:59You can just allow your nervous system to rest and relax, and only through confronting the truth
29:07and going through the hard feelings can we fully let them go.
29:12I've been working so hard to overcome my vaginismus so that one day, hopefully, I can have sexual
29:20intercourse and have a proper romantic relationship.
29:23And even though this yoni mapping is causing me pain and it's hurting, I'm not going to give up.
29:34I'm just going to massage the top of your pelvic floor, like just softening everything.
29:40But what I'm going to do is just keep massaging in the circle
29:44and a little deeper and exhale into it.
29:51As I calm down and start to relax, I must admit, I'm not feeling as much pain.
29:59And I am pleasantly surprised.
30:02Let's see if we can get a little bit deeper in and possibly to your G-spot.
30:08Deserves to feel the love and the pleasure.
30:13I'm just going to start to circle, okay?
30:15Letting your body open to receive the peace, the love, the pleasure.
30:28Letting all that anxiety go.
30:32And exhale into it.
30:34Oh, wow.
30:41I must admit, I am getting turned on right now.
30:44Oh, gosh.
30:45I do feel a wet sensation in my lady parts.
30:48I'm kind of embarrassed about how good this feels because I'm a good Indian girl.
30:54And good Indian girls don't do what I'm doing right now.
30:57Oh, my gosh.
31:01I don't know.
31:02Yeah.
31:04Breathing into your clitoris and your G-spot.
31:18Oh, yeah.
31:22Oh, wow.
31:23Stop.
31:23She's pretty relaxed already, huh?
31:27Oh, my gosh.
31:28It seems like she likes it.
31:31It's a completely new sensation.
31:33I'm giggling like a teenager.
31:36You're an inner maiden.
31:39Do you think you might have had an orgasm?
31:42Yes, I think.
31:44I feel electricity going through my body.
31:46My heart is beating super fast.
31:49Feels heaven-like.
31:50It's nice.
31:51This is pure paradise.
31:52Do you want to see how deep it is now?
31:56Oh, my goodness.
31:57Yeah.
31:57That's two inches.
31:59I've heard the average male penis size is five inches.
32:02So I'm almost half of the way there.
32:05So I'll let you get dressed and then I'll meet you in the other room.
32:08Sounds good.
32:09With this whole Yoni mapping experience, I feel alive.
32:15I feel empowered.
32:17I am excited about perhaps trying this with a man.
32:20It's a really nice sensation and dare I say that I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
32:25How are you feeling?
32:29Magical.
32:33Congratulations.
32:34I've never heard anything like that ever done before.
32:37There's a first step for everything.
32:39Oh, that was fun.
32:51So do you want to try the champagne towel or do you want to try the pool?
32:56I'll start with the pool.
33:01Start with the pool?
33:01Okay.
33:02We can do that.
33:02Okay.
33:03Awesome.
33:03It changed?
33:04Yeah.
33:04Yeah.
33:06This is insane.
33:07I've never been in, let alone a pool with a girl, a heart-shaped pool.
33:12And I don't know if I should make a move or I need to say something slick or sexy.
33:19I don't know.
33:21And I have no one here to help me.
33:22I feel like maybe I could get a kiss.
33:29So, you know, I got to brush my teeth and then I have mouthwash because I got to be extra
33:34bit fresh because if I get a kiss, it has to taste good.
33:39I don't know what she expects to happen.
33:42I don't really know what I expect to happen.
33:45I still want to take it slow, but I'm also really, really nervous because I always somehow
33:50mess things up.
33:52I'm excited, but I am a little nervous, a little overwhelmed.
33:59It's a lot between like the hot tub and the pool and everything, but I can see that he's
34:04trying.
34:05It's really cute.
34:06It's adorable.
34:07And I see the kindness behind the gesture.
34:09All right.
34:15All right.
34:19All right.
34:23All right.
34:25Life is good.
34:27Life is real good.
34:28Seeing Lauren sit on the side of the pool and her rope, I don't know if I need to try
34:44and physically flirt a little bit, you know?
34:46I don't know if I need to try and I don't know if I need to try and I don't know if I need to
35:02I'm just happy that you're here to share this moment with me.
35:17Oh, that's nice.
35:18What's that?
35:19I said that's nice.
35:19Yeah, and then I'm happy that, you know, all the conversations went well.
35:25Mm-hmm.
35:30Being with Alex in the pool right now, I think that we have a really good time together.
35:35I'm just kind of realizing that it might be too much for me.
35:39It might be too soon for me.
35:40I just, I don't think we're there yet.
35:50I do notice or kind of feel that there's some kind of vibe that's off.
35:58Maybe she didn't want to do something so intimate right away.
36:02You know, I told Lauren that I was a virgin, but then now I'm kind of embarrassed because
36:07I don't want her to think that I brought her up here just to lose my virginity.
36:11It's making me think, Alex, what are you doing?
36:14Like, you did it too quick.
36:15You're freaking dope.
36:18So, I feel that even before we end the night, I think I'm going to try the champagne hot tub.
36:25You're going to try the hot tub?
36:26I think so.
36:26Yeah, you should give it a go.
36:28Yeah.
36:29I think that's a good idea.
36:30I mean, I'm already wet.
36:33I totally see that Alex's intentions are pure.
36:37I know he's a good person.
36:38And I just think that I would be more comfortable with my own room.
36:42So, I'm going to go downstairs and just book myself my own hotel room tonight.
36:47All right.
36:48All right.
36:49You can go do your thing.
36:52I'll get out in a little bit.
36:53I don't know if I'm really ready to get out quite yet.
36:55So, whatever you have to accomplish.
36:57All right.
36:58Go ahead.
36:58I went too over the top.
37:05Especially in the stage we are.
37:11I totally understand why she wanted to get her own room.
37:14And it's okay.
37:15It's okay.
37:17That was my mistake.
37:18I really hope I didn't push Lauren away.
37:23Because I do really like her.
37:25Like a lot.
37:26And I still feel she can be the one.
37:30I just got to remind myself not to put my head down.
37:34Because I am so far from where I used to be.
37:39And to me, that's a win.
37:41I do know what that's code for when you invite a guy to your room.
37:56And I want to see where it leads.
38:06Would you be open to finishing our wine by the fire pit?
38:09Sure.
38:10It's freezing.
38:11Let's do it.
38:11You cold?
38:16You okay?
38:17I think I'm good, actually.
38:19Can I move a little bit closer?
38:20Are you cold short?
38:21Is that allowed?
38:21Go for it.
38:23It's Deanne's world.
38:24I'm just living in it.
38:26Just living in it.
38:27Can I hold your hand?
38:28It's cold.
38:30Sure.
38:31Your hands are so warm.
38:32I just feel like your hands are kind of cold, actually.
38:34How are your hands so warm?
38:35I don't know.
38:38I can tell Conrad does want to kiss me.
38:40But I think when it comes to anything physical with Conrad tonight, I'm very much still in the middle of how I feel.
38:50So I'm like, do I want to kiss him?
38:52Do I not want to kiss him?
38:53I've been very impressed by how authentic you've been.
38:57I love how confident you are, and I wear my heart on my sleeve.
39:01And I feel that.
39:02You're very much a boyfriend-type guy where you're just like...
39:09I hope that's a compliment.
39:10No, it is.
39:11It's abnormal for me, but it's a good thing.
39:15It's not a bad thing.
39:17This is, um, Leap Before You Look, Deanne, right?
39:23Conrad does check off every single box that I ever tell people I want.
39:27Would you want to pop inside?
39:29We could do a quick little house tour.
39:31Sure, let's do a tour.
39:32I want to be like, push yourself.
39:35Or do I want that I'm, like, head over heels, so excited to see this person?
39:41Okay, so...
39:42After you?
39:43Tour.
39:47I just really want to give you a baby kiss.
39:50I know.
39:51But...
39:52No.
39:52I don't need to do that on camera.
39:54It's very awkward.
39:56Yeah.
39:56What if I just, like, a little, like, no tongue, and then it's just like, boop.
39:59I feel, like, not in front of the camera.
40:01I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
40:03With Conrad tonight, I very much used the television show as a reason why I didn't want to kiss him goodnight.
40:11If I was super feeling that sparks into him excitedness, I don't know the tele...
40:17The cameras don't mean anything to me.
40:19I would kiss someone on the camera, which tells me the spark's not there.
40:26It's just a camera thing for me.
40:28I get it.
40:29How do you feel about kissing?
40:38Absolutely.
40:39I am so nervous, but then I'm looking at him, and he makes it feel, for me to feel okay.
40:47And that's safety, you know?
40:50And that's what I like.
40:53And I do not want to be a virgin forever.
40:56I do not want to be a virgin forever.
40:58Okay.
40:59Come on.
41:03Mmm.
41:08Mmm.
41:09Mmm.
41:12My first real kiss went tongue, and it was so good.
41:16It wasn't, like, crazy tongue.
41:19It wasn't crazy tongue.
41:20It was just a nice, passionate kiss.
41:22Perfect amount of sloppiness.
41:32I'm feeling bold, and I want to keep things going.
41:34I do know what that's called for when you invite a guy to your room.
41:50And I want to see where it leads.
41:54This is my room.
41:57Oh.
41:59That's super cool.
42:00It has a pole in it, and it has a mirror.
42:04Interesting.
42:06I wasn't expecting the stripper pole.
42:09The mirrors over the bed and on the headboard.
42:12That was a lot to take in.
42:13You like the pole?
42:14You want me to dance for you?
42:16Yeah.
42:16And this is my bed.
42:23You want to come lay with me?
42:24Yeah.
42:27I give myself permission.
42:35Oh, my God.
42:36A man is about to be on my bed.
42:37Oh, my God.
42:38I'm freaking out.
42:43Thank you, God.
42:44Kiss me, William.
42:50So very dramatic.
42:52Just kiss me, William.
43:10It's real life.
43:12It's happening.
43:13And I'm excited and scared at the same time.
43:24Oh, my goodness.
43:26But so many people are watching.
43:33Oh, my goodness.
43:37Big Pearl was happy.
43:38Big Pearl was into it.
43:41She was into it.
43:42She was throbbing.
43:52That man showed me some things.
43:55And I was like, oh, my goodness.
43:57Why are you exposing?
43:59She's destroy it.
44:04Oh, God.
44:18Oh, God.
44:23Use your lips as a guide?
44:24Bitch!
44:25Look!
44:26There you go!
44:35Hurry up.
44:36Yeah, I am.
44:43Get the vacuum ready.
44:44All right, I'm ready, Alex.
44:45This is kind of fun.
44:48I do have somebody amazing in mind for you.
44:55Okay.
44:56He is 42, which I know is a little bit older than you are wanting.
45:11Oh my God!
45:18I'm actually a virgin as well.
45:25Yeah.
45:26Cheers.
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