My Big Fat Fabulous Life Season 13 Episode 2

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My Big Fat Fabulous Life Season 13 Episode 2  #PrimeUSTV   🎞 Please join  https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm

Transcript

00:00Previously on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

00:05I'm going to pursue artificial insemination.

00:10I'm running out of time, and if I want a child,

00:13I have got to take this by the reins and do it myself.

00:17I don't have to take this person to dinner first.

00:20I just buy yours.

00:21Picking a sperm donor is like a dating app on steroids.

00:25Oh, no, he's out. He's out.

00:27He's out, and I have never been more discouraged in my life.

00:33Jessica's dad, Will, died after a long battle with cancer.

00:39Every time I want to talk to him and I realize I can't,

00:42it really messes me up pretty bad.

00:46Ashley's going to die.

00:47Wait, you're talking to Ashley?

00:49I mean, not about you.

00:50Things are just, like, super awkward,

00:52because we had that huge blow-up.

00:54Ashley and I don't speak, we don't communicate.

00:56in almost two years.

00:57Ashley really hurt me, and you knew that.

00:59It just feels like you're not on my team.

01:01No, there's no teams, Tal.

01:03I know that you...

01:04That's the .

01:05I have never been caught in an argument

01:07between Tal and someone else, and it is messy.

01:10Maybe I'm not the friend that you need right now.

01:12You...

01:13I know he's pissed,

01:15but Tal and I are going to have to talk about this.

01:17Get away from me.

01:38I know you don't have me out here like this.

01:41Amongst the youth.

01:44You act like we're spring chickens.

01:47I conspired with Isaiah to get Jessica out of the house

01:50for, like, a really fun night out.

01:52How are you?

01:53Since Will died, Jess has understandably been

01:55swallowed with grief,

01:57and I think she just needs a break.

01:59So Isaiah's suggestion was basketball.

02:02Which isn't exactly what I had in mind, but whatever.

02:06Whatever.

02:07Ugh!

02:08Holy...

02:09I can't do it.

02:12Uh-uh!

02:13These women are absolutely garbage at basketball.

02:16Ugh!

02:18Oh, that was really bad.

02:20If I would've known they were going to be this bad at basketball,

02:22we would've went bowling somewhere in downtown Greensboro.

02:26Oh!

02:27Oh, my God!

02:28Oh!

02:29We could've played Uno.

02:30Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh!

02:32Uh!

02:33Shuffleboard or cards.

02:35Uh-oh, uh-oh!

02:38Oh!

02:40Anything besides basketball.

02:42Let me know my trick.

02:44I come at you like this.

02:45All right.

02:46I come at you like this.

02:47And then I come at you like this.

02:48No!

02:49And I come at you like this!

02:50Hey!

02:54Who ain't been at the gym in a year?

02:58If watching me trying to play basketball

03:00does not bring a smile to Jessica's face,

03:02truthfully, I don't know what will.

03:05I'm too out of shape for real-life sports.

03:07Well, we have a lot of things to discuss.

03:09You gotta tell me what's going on with Tal.

03:12What happened?

03:13So, Ashley wanted to come over, talk, meet up, something.

03:17Because you haven't seen her in a year and a half.

03:19We talk, but I haven't seen her.

03:20So, I mentioned to Tal about Ashley.

03:22He was like, you're talking to Ashley?

03:25She makes me really uncomfortable.

03:26So, I realized he's all pissed off.

03:28And then he called me and he was like,

03:29I think you're picking sides and it's not mine.

03:32And I was like, I'm not picking anyone's side.

03:34He was like, and then he hung up on me.

03:36Wait, so he's, so basically he wants you to pick sides

03:39and it has to be his side.

03:40Correct.

03:41I've been trying to get in touch with Tal

03:43since he hung up on me the other night

03:44and I have not heard from him.

03:46I love Tal and I just feel concerned

03:49that I don't know where his head is at.

03:51Anyways, what's going on with you?

03:54The same been going on.

03:56You also trying to get pregnant?

03:57Still just trying.

03:58I got a doctor's appointment.

03:59Probably talk to them about going ahead

04:01and starting the steps for IVF.

04:03Yeah, that's what we were gonna do

04:04when I had the last miscarriage.

04:06And then we decided, well, if we got pregnant twice

04:09in like three months, maybe we should just keep trying

04:11until the end of the year.

04:12And you haven't been pregnant since?

04:13Mm-mm.

04:16Isaiah and I have been trying to have a baby together

04:19for over two years now, going on three.

04:22I have what is considered stage IV endometriosis.

04:26Typically women shed the lining of their uterus

04:29and mine sheds on the outside.

04:31So everything that my body has been through

04:33has been a lot.

04:35miscarriages and, you know, recovery time.

04:38And it makes me resentful.

04:40It makes me angry.

04:41But I think that I'm at a place where I'm ready

04:44to start considering IVF again.

04:48It's hard to think about it right now, honestly.

04:51Yeah.

04:52But I know I'm not getting any younger.

04:55I know that's right.

04:56One of us should get pregnant.

04:58So, well, I've been thinking about artificial insemination.

05:01What?

05:02What?

05:04Bitch.

05:06When I tell you.

05:08Whitney.

05:09Wow.

05:11What is happening?

05:13You want to try to do it on your own?

05:15Yes.

05:16Oh, my God.

05:18Yes.

05:21Yes.

05:22Whitney.

05:23What?

05:24What?

05:25Oh, my God.

05:26Well, last I checked, Whitney was looking for a man.

05:29And now she's looking for a baby.

05:30So.

05:31You should have seen.

05:35Dad was shocked when my friend Tatiana was telling him about,

05:38she did this.

05:39You literally can just pick the perfect specimen.

05:41And you don't even have to have a connection with them.

05:43See?

05:45Whitney obviously wants the whole thing.

05:47You know, the husband, the kids.

05:48And so far it just hasn't worked out for her.

05:51And I certainly know better than anybody how emotionally draining it is trying to get pregnant.

05:57So whatever Whitney has to do to make this work, I'm going to be there and I'm going to be her biggest cheerleader.

06:03So listen, I'm going to need y'all's help.

06:05Okay.

06:06To purchase my sperm.

06:07Which, by the way, is worse than being on a dating website.

06:10Real sperm?

06:11Yes.

06:12Do you know that they have like profiles with pictures.

06:14Yeah.

06:15And then they answer questions.

06:16Okay.

06:17Well, and so I've narrowed it down to three guys.

06:19Okay.

06:20I was like, I could never choose this person.

06:22Like, I can't do it.

06:24So you didn't purchase sperm?

06:25Not yet.

06:26That's what I need you to help me with.

06:27I'm about to pull up the website.

06:29You pick the winner.

06:31Let's see.

06:32I have spent the past few sleepless nights in my bed on this sperm bank website, poring over profiles, reading about men's ethnicities and their heights and their medical information.

06:45Like, I have been doom scrolling sperm.

06:48Exhibit A.

06:50I have narrowed this down to three sperm donors.

06:54The problem is that I just don't know how to make the final choice.

06:57Do they have like height athleticism?

06:59They have height and stuff, yeah.

07:01All of these men are very intelligent, well-educated, and have no genetic illnesses.

07:06Now, other than that, they're different colors, heights.

07:08I don't know what is going to be the defining factor.

07:11So I am genuinely trusting Isaiah and Jessica to make this decision for me.

07:16Reported pregnancy?

07:17Reported pregnancy?

07:18What does that mean?

07:19They've gotten someone pregnant.

07:20Which is what you want.

07:21Which is hilarious.

07:22Yeah, it's hilarious.

07:23You're like, oh, 20 babies?

07:25Hell yeah.

07:26Oh my God.

07:27Okay, so the first guy is the smartest.

07:30He's only 5'6".

07:31Oh, no.

07:32He's...

07:33154?

07:34He's like, my time!

07:35Jess!

07:36Donor number one is really smart.

07:39He's got a master's degree in economics.

07:41The only thing is he's an inch shorter than my height prerequisite.

07:46And I'm already really short myself.

07:48So that's a shortcoming.

07:51We're not letting her do that.

07:54All right, the next guy is a carpenter, so good with his hands.

07:57Oh, Hungarian.

08:00One of the smartest people I've ever known was Hungarian.

08:03Donor number two also has a flaw.

08:05He's blonde.

08:06I've never been attracted to blonde men.

08:08But he's a carpenter who owns his own business.

08:11And the best part is that he has 15 reported pregnancies.

08:14So he is virile.

08:16I feel like Whitney's typing blonde hair blue eye.

08:19She's not dating the guy.

08:21That's true, but she don't want her kids coming out looking like him.

08:24Eh.

08:25He's shorter than me.

08:26Y'all are stressing me out.

08:27And I'm short.

08:28This was supposed to be less stress, not more.

08:29Can we put them all in at the same time and just see what takes?

08:32Bitch.

08:33From three different men.

08:35I did.

08:36Could you imagine?

08:37That sounds like a Friday night in 2007, Jessica.

08:39And I'm not trying to go back.

08:40Whitney.

08:41What?

08:42Now, the last guy speaks like seven different languages.

08:45Dark brown eyes, dark brown hair.

08:48He's Danish and German.

08:50Donor number three is probably my favorite so far.

08:54I find him to be impressive.

08:56He's got a great education.

08:58He speaks like seven languages.

09:00And he's really tall.

09:01My only problem with him is that he does not have any reported

09:04pregnancies yet.

09:07He's 6'7", 218.

09:08That's our boy.

09:09Why does he have a gold profile?

09:11Isaiah, do it.

09:12Do it.

09:13Yes.

09:14Isaiah is looking for league babies is what we call it.

09:17You want a baby that's going to the NFL or the MLB or the NBA.

09:21What does that say?

09:22Oh, he is 6'7".

09:236'7", 218.

09:24Oh, let's get these.

09:25Do you want to be taken care of for the rest of your life?

09:26Let's get these swimmers.

09:27I'm getting his sperm, not the man.

09:29But you'll get the child.

09:30I'm trying to find this elite athlete filter.

09:33Forget all this brains, IQ, GPA.

09:36We don't care.

09:37What is your 40 time and how high can you jump?

09:41Boom.

09:42All right, Whitney.

09:43We pick the one we want.

09:446'7", 218.

09:46I added it to the cart.

09:47Playing for the Los Angeles Lakers.

09:48Jess and Isaiah are right.

09:51I think donor number three is the one for me.

09:53He's smart.

09:54He's a linguist and he's tall.

09:56I definitely don't want to pass on my really short genes to my child.

09:59This guy is 6'7", 218 pounds, which look, some women might find that intimidating,

10:04but I don't because I once dated a man in college for a year who was 6'9".

10:09Buy it.

10:11I'm doing cat cow.

10:14I cannot believe that it's done.

10:18The sperm has been ordered.

10:20It's on the way.

10:21And now I am one very big and important step closer to becoming pregnant.

10:27Oh, my God.

10:28So we just bought sperm with her credit cards.

10:30And then we have a baby.

10:33Oh, my God.

10:34Exactly.

10:35Now that I'm here telling people about artificial insemination, it just feels like it's really going to happen.

10:41It's a little strange, but I'm trying to channel it and just stay calm and breathe.

10:46The person he picked is a giant.

10:48Okay, so that's good.

10:49She going to be cussing you when that big old baby coming out.

10:53We're going to light the sage.

10:55You know what?

10:56I have always said that if I need to, I will sage my I don't care.

10:59It is ovulation station.

11:01Ashley is about to prepare our wombs for conception.

11:04Do you actually have any idea what you're doing?

11:06Do I have kids?

11:07Do I have kids?

11:18Come on, girls.

11:19Go see Daddy.

11:20Let's go see Daddy.

11:21Good girl.

11:22Yeah.

11:23You were doing so good.

11:25What's that?

11:26What's that?

11:30I got him back from the debts.

11:33Isn't she?

11:35Oh God.

11:36He's in here.

11:37Well, his remains are in there.

11:39He's in the atmosphere.

11:53It's only been a week since she died and I knew that this was coming from the vet, but I'm glad Todd is with me honestly.

12:03Because I love that cat.

12:07I had him for 17 years.

12:09So this is very emotional.

12:18They're so tiny.

12:20When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.

12:22There's always food and water in warm spring weather.

12:25There the old and frail animals are young again.

12:28Oh God.

12:29I'm going to cry.

12:30You take them in your arms and embrace your faces kissed again.

12:33And you look once more into the eyes of your loving pet.

12:36Then you cross the rainbow bridge, never again to be separated.

12:39God.

12:40Oh .

12:41Oh .

12:44This is a snout print.

12:46They put a little ink.

12:47Oh my God.

12:48They put a little snout in ink.

12:51I've seen it perfectly clearly.

12:54Oh my God.

12:55I knew they were going to send his ashes, but like this is an entire like party favor bag.

13:02I mean, I've got snout prints, footprints, palm prints, fur.

13:08His luscious fur.

13:11Oh, his luscious fur.

13:18My big, big boy.

13:21I'll never get over this.

13:23He was so precious.

13:25Celebrating Hinchy's life is really important to me.

13:27He was my soul cat and he deserves an epic send off.

13:33I need to put you in charge of his memorial.

13:34His being Hinchy's.

13:35That means it's location, it's refreshments, and it's guest list.

13:38It's got to be all Hinchy's favorite things.

13:40Oranges and flowers.

13:42Oranges, flowers, plastic, all the things he liked.

13:46How many are going to be in attendance?

13:48At the memorial?

13:49Yeah.

13:50Well, it'll be dad.

13:51Me, you, Ashley.

13:53Ashley.

13:54He used to sleep on her pillow every night.

13:55But if it's Ashley, then it can't be Tal.

13:56If it's Tal, then it can't be Ashley.

13:57Who loved him more?

13:58He'd sleep on Tal's pillow every night.

13:59Who loved him more?

14:00Tal didn't even let him upstairs.

14:02This is like a delicate situation because Tal and Ashley had this falling out.

14:08So I don't know what's going to happen.

14:10I think this is really the best way to get people in that circumstance under the same roof.

14:14Well, exactly.

14:15Because how are you going to not come to Hinchy's Feud?

14:17Enclosure.

14:18There will be no fur flying, but look.

14:20Well, this is a good place to be, not talking to people.

14:22Well, this is Hinchy's Feud.

14:24And I will not be having a cat fight.

14:27More right.

14:28So guest list, time, place, refreshments, all the things that Hinchy loved.

14:37Tuna.

14:38Correct.

14:39Love Tuna.

14:41He loved you.

14:42Thank you for loving him.

14:44And I love you too.

14:47Todd tends to clam up about outward and overt displays of affection.

14:51Like if I tell him that I love him.

14:53But he shows me that he loves me through actions.

14:56And I know how much he loved Hinchy.

14:58Well, come on, Goosey girl.

15:00Goosey, you want to go with daddy?

15:02I could really use Todd's help now more than ever because I'm about to inseminate myself in a few days,

15:08which is probably the biggest, most life-changing decision I've ever made.

15:13And I don't think that I have the emotional wherewithal to wallow through my grief and plan Hinchy's funeral at the same time.

15:20Come on, girly.

15:22Come on, girl.

15:23Come on, Hinch.

15:43It's okay, girl.

15:47It's okay.

15:48Hi.

15:49Hey there.

15:50Can I just get your sign real quick?

15:51Yes.

15:52I am freaking out a little bit.

15:54I have been tracking this package so obsessively.

15:57It's frozen sperm.

15:59And one thing that I love about this modern world is the ability to have almost anything you want right at your fingertips.

16:07I mean, on this sperm donor website, I just plug in the ovulation days that I need the sperm for and they get it to you just like that.

16:23I've seen sperm come from a much smaller package before.

16:30I wasn't expecting this.

16:36Bitch.

16:37Look what just came.

16:41What is that?

16:42A cooler?

16:43It's a nitrogen tank.

16:46I need more information.

16:48It has the sperm.

16:53Look at how big it is.

16:57Oh, my God.

16:58That's surreal.

17:00One thing I do love about my friends is that they are never surprised about anything that I get up to.

17:06Like, I can hop on the phone call Ashley and be like, look, bitch, this bucket of sperm just arrived and she's not phased.

17:12So what, like, what now?

17:13Well, when you're ready to inseminate, I know you have to defrost it.

17:18Like a casserole.

17:20Yeah.

17:21And then you inseminate.

17:22Well, I ordered the insemination kit and it should get here today, I think.

17:25What's the kit?

17:26What's the kit?

17:27It's just, you know, what you need to get it on up there.

17:32Get it, get it, get it.

17:33Get it on up there.

17:34Yeah.

17:35I will say, through the years, Whitney has had a lot of ideas and plans that were discussed but never quite made it off the ground.

17:45And I kind of thought this self insemination thing would be the same way.

17:50And then it would just evaporate into the ether.

17:54But obviously she's serious.

17:56I mean, she's got this big package in the mail just having sperm delivered right to her doorstep.

18:03You remember when you and Todd did that, like, ceremony for me when I was pregnant with Harper with the liturgical dance?

18:10I think he birthed me, didn't he?

18:12He did.

18:22Oh, y'all got to be born.

18:26Would you want to do something like that?

18:28Would you want me to, like, prepare the womb, prepare the way?

18:31Yes, but let's make it for two because Jessica, you know, she's had some miscarriages and they're still trying and everything.

18:37So.

18:38I knew they were trying.

18:39I didn't know she had miscarriages.

18:40Mm-hmm.

18:41Mm-hmm.

18:42Aw.

18:43I would love to include Jessica.

18:45You just feel like it can't hurt to just, like, reinforce to yourself and, like, put out there in the universe, like, how badly you want this to happen.

18:51Correct.

18:52Correct.

18:53Yeah, fine.

18:54I would love that.

18:58This is actually happening.

19:00This is where my life has brought me.

19:02It's not what I expected.

19:03I've never tried to get pregnant ever in my life.

19:06I'm 40 years old and now I'm trying.

19:08Like, this is actually happening.

19:11I always kind of figured to get your sperm from a package, but I didn't know it was gonna be delivered.

19:16Always figured, bitch!

19:18I'll be out there working for my sperm.

19:20Right!

19:21From a different kind of package.

19:22Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

19:24I'm gonna prep your womb in your room.

19:26When I found out you were still in communication with Ashley, I felt really betrayed.

19:34So are you gonna be okay with us having a friendship?

19:37They already brought us soup.

19:52Yeah.

19:53So delicious.

19:54Oh, they're the best.

19:55How we doing?

19:56Oh, hey.

19:57Hi, Daddy.

19:58How's your day been?

19:59Good.

20:00Yeah?

20:01I just got this as I was leaving.

20:02Well, you don't have to bring it.

20:03I didn't want anybody grabbing it off the porch.

20:04One advantage and disadvantage of having Glenn Thor live with me is that he is a porch pirate.

20:18I get packages almost every day, and if it is left out there for five minutes too long, it will disappear.

20:25Please do not open that.

20:26Oh, it's Christmas.

20:28Get out of my mail!

20:29That's a federal offense, Dad.

20:33Oh, God.

20:35What are these tadpole?

20:38Do they have those on there?

20:40Why do they have those on there?

20:41So, wait, wait.

20:43We're not just gonna bulldoze through that.

20:46I think we are.

20:47You're going forward?

20:50The sperm is going forward.

20:52The sperm?

20:53Well.

20:54I'm gonna be stationary.

20:55But you're really taking that step.

20:57Yeah.

20:58Well, who's bringing the sperm?

21:01A very trusted and established website, because I'll tell you.

21:04A website?

21:05Oh.

21:07You picked the donor?

21:08I didn't pick.

21:09Jessica and Isaiah picked it.

21:11Wait, what?

21:13I would have thought you would have picked the donor.

21:16Seeing it's gonna be your baby.

21:19Well, I narrowed it down to three.

21:21Yeah.

21:22And then they picked the guy.

21:24I know that Whitney has talked about doing this artificial insemination.

21:28Having a child without a husband is not ideal, but if she needed any help, I think I should have been consulted.

21:35You know, letting Jessica and Isaiah pick out a donor, I guess, is better than flipping a coin, but not much.

21:45I didn't trust myself.

21:47Oh.

21:48I have been letting idiots ejaculate in me for 20 years.

21:55And I couldn't bear to pick another one.

21:57Sorry, Dad.

21:58God bless him.

22:00I've seen the ones you've picked.

22:01You're right.

22:02And I never picked a good one, have I?

22:05If I wanted an idiot to impregnate me, I could have been doing that for the last 20 years.

22:08You could have married Fat Frank.

22:09I could have married Fat Frank.

22:11I mean, you picked, what's his name?

22:13The one who had the girlfriends all over the world.

22:15Avi.

22:16Avi, you picked Avi.

22:17I did, I thought I was gonna marry him.

22:18That's what's rich.

22:19Anyway.

22:21Whitney has had a plethora of idiot boyfriends.

22:24There's Fat Frank, who was this guy that Whitney dated about 15 years ago.

22:28And he was trying to get paint off some old doorknobs.

22:31So, the genius thought he would boil them in one of my mother's favorite pots.

22:36And he ruined it.

22:37And there's Avi, who was a serial cheater with women all around the world.

22:42This sucks, isn't it? Being humiliated is sucks, doesn't it?

22:49I mean, maybe her picker is broke.

22:53Aren't you still on the apps?

22:55All rivers flow to the same ocean.

22:58I'm just saying that, like, you meet somebody,

23:00and let's say it goes really well in your connection,

23:03but at the same time...

23:04That's our first unlikely scenario.

23:05At the same time, you're, uh, self-pumping or something?

23:09Ew!

23:11Gross.

23:14This is an incredibly personal decision that I've made for myself,

23:18regardless of what other people think.

23:21However, of course, I want my dad and my brother

23:24to be excited for me because without a husband

23:27or a boyfriend in the picture,

23:29I'm gonna need all the support that I can get from my family.

23:33So, are you seriously going through with this?

23:36Well, she got the box, so it sounds pretty serious to me.

23:40Well, if this is what you really want,

23:43and you know what, I want a grandchild.

23:45If this makes you happy, then...

23:47Does it make you happy, Daddy?

23:49Does it make you happy, Daddy?

23:50It'll make me happy if you're happy.

23:53That's a perfect right answer.

23:56If this artificial insemination is something that she wants to do,

23:59I'll support it.

24:00But I'm still holding out that maybe she will meet somebody

24:03she loved and loved her and would help her raise a child

24:07if that's what she wants to do.

24:08I'm assuming you're taking the inseminator.

24:16Tomorrow, between 6.30 and 8.30,

24:18I need all men out of the house.

24:21So don't come home.

24:23We'll be shooting pool.

24:24Good.

24:25And I'll be shooting something else.

24:27Hi, this is Tao.

24:41Please leave a message.

24:43Tao has not been responding to my texts and my calls,

24:46so the thing about me is I'll sit in your driveway.

24:52Hi, this is Tao.

24:53Please leave a message.

24:54Hello.

24:57I am in your driveway.

24:59Can you please come outside?

25:01I know you're in there.

25:03Almost two years ago,

25:05Tao and Ashley got in this argument

25:07and both of them said really hurtful things to each other,

25:10and they have not spoken since.

25:14I've remained neutral up until now,

25:16and I didn't foresee the fact that I'm friends with both of them

25:19becoming a problem.

25:24I got you a coffee.

25:27Oh, thank you.

25:31I'm sorry I've been such a mess.

25:34It's okay.

25:36What is happening?

25:37I guess when I found out that you were still in communication with Ashley,

25:41that just really set me off.

25:43Mm-hmm.

25:44And I felt really betrayed because Ashley really hurt me.

25:47I didn't know that you expected maybe that I literally had not spoken to her.

25:55No, I can believe that.

25:56You know?

25:57I just wanted to make sure that you were still on my team.

25:59I'm always on your team.

26:01I want to feel like if Ashley were and I were to see each other,

26:08like she wants to do this thing for me and Jessica,

26:11like this womb cleansing thing.

26:15I don't know what it is.

26:16That's my job to do the energy cleanses.

26:19But she has more experience in the womb.

26:21I can't relate to that.

26:22Right, exactly.

26:23So are you going to be okay with us having a friendship?

26:26I don't even really care about Ashley.

26:27I've just like not been in a good place lately and that really set me off.

26:30And if I were doing better, I probably wouldn't have even reacted to it.

26:34You can, I don't care if you talk to Ashley.

26:36That's, our beef is not y'all's beef.

26:39So you don't even, you don't need to talk to Ashley.

26:41You don't need to resolve with Ashley.

26:42It don't even matter.

26:43It's not about Ashley.

26:44I mean, I'm not opposed to reconciling with Ashley.

26:47I don't like knowing that we're both just kind of out in the world

26:50and, you know, used to be close and aren't anymore.

26:53Mm-hmm.

26:57I think the way I acted the other night was a little irrational

27:00and I hate this whole thing just because I feel like it's a reflection

27:04of just how hard things have been for me the last couple of years.

27:07And I think my mental health was already in decline

27:10when Ashley and I had our big falling out.

27:12So if I'd been in a better spot then, maybe this never would have happened.

27:16I don't know.

27:17She came at me kind of incorrect, but I still could have responded differently.

27:20And if given the chance to reconcile, I would.

27:23We're almost 40 years old.

27:24I mean, I don't want to be having this kind of beef with people.

27:27I've just really been hanging on by a thread lately.

27:30I mean, I've never been this depressed for this long.

27:32And so that just scares me like it's like something in my brain just broke.

27:35I'm just hoping that something will click or something will change.

27:39Yeah.

27:40Tal's experiencing a lot of conflict in his life right now

27:44and he's not in a good mental place.

27:46And maybe if he needs closure, then it could be good if he and Ashley talk,

27:50if that's something that she's open to.

27:53I think it may help improve how he's been feeling.

27:57Thank you for coming over.

27:58I love you.

27:59I love you too.

28:00This really did help.

28:01I'm just glad we're all right.

28:02Of course.

28:03Yeah.

28:04I love you.

28:05Oh, I feel like we're about to kiss.

28:06Oh, it did seem intimate.

28:07Did it?

28:08We might dabble in a little witchcraft.

28:13Honey, cast a spell on me.

28:15I made y'all these dolls.

28:17I hope I'm getting a couple girls pregnant tonight.

28:20Oh, no.

28:21And it's gay.

28:23I kind of pictured her coming in here, giving us a massage or something,

28:38and then I was just going to go to sleep.

28:40Massaging of the womb?

28:42You know what?

28:43I don't know why people don't do that.

28:45Well, not the womb, but like when you go get,

28:47because I get massages frequently.

28:48Only like once in my life has someone like massaged my belly.

28:52Like why don't they?

28:53I want my belly massage.

28:54Why don't they do that though?

28:55Because your organs are there.

28:57Don't be digging around at organs and such.

28:59Bitch, you know how far you got to get to get my organs.

29:03Who you playing?

29:04There.

29:05Bitch.

29:07Hello.

29:08Hello.

29:09Are you at home?

29:10We are.

29:11We're up here in the bed with Goosey.

29:12Y'all just stay there.

29:13Like, stay comfortable.

29:15I need you to keep an open mind, okay?

29:17Not trying to concern, just trying to prepare.

29:20I'm wide open, Ashley.

29:21I was about to say, I was already planning on keeping my legs that way.

29:24Is the door unlocked?

29:25Yes.

29:26All right, love you.

29:27I'll see you in a minute.

29:28Bye.

29:29I'm very concerned.

29:30I was going to say, I may have a concern or two.

29:32I'm very concerned.

29:33This is the most exciting Thursday night I've had in a long time.

29:36It is ovulation station.

29:38And Ashley is about to prepare our wombs for conception.

29:42I've got the sperm right in there.

29:44No, you don't.

29:45Do you know they delivered?

29:46Look at what they delivered it in.

29:47Go look in there.

29:48Go look in there.

29:49You're going to die.

29:50Whitney.

29:51Jess.

29:52This is so bootleg.

29:53You're the one who ordered it.

29:54What?

29:55It comes in like a nitrogen tank.

29:57This?

29:58Yes, bitch.

29:59There's actually sperm in there?

30:00Yes.

30:01Yeah.

30:02Jessica and I have been tracking our ovulation to a T.

30:05And we are both ovulating at the same time.

30:08So nothing could be more perfect.

30:10I am ready to inseminate and pray for a miracle.

30:13So I'm going to be here for the basting?

30:15Well, no, it's just the insertion.

30:17But then you've got to get home and get in the sack.

30:19Oh, do I?

30:20Yes.

30:21What are you doing?

30:22We've already done that like every night this week.

30:24When you've been trying to conceive,

30:26as long as Isaiah and I have been trying to conceive,

30:29sometimes the act itself can become a little bit mechanical.

30:33I feel bad saying that.

30:35But like the doctors suggest certain schedules,

30:37like every 48 hours starting on this day.

30:39Or sometimes they say do every three days.

30:41Sometimes they say do it every day for this five day window.

30:44And we've tried for like all the days.

30:50Let me check my app.

30:51You are ovulating, right?

30:52Yes.

30:53OK.

30:54You should have had Isaiah waiting in the car.

30:55Stop.

30:56Did someone say womb ceremony?

30:59Hello.

31:00Cause...

31:01What is...

31:02Is that a turtle?

31:03It's purely symbolic.

31:05I went all out.

31:06You did go all out.

31:07Well, and this is not the only thing.

31:09I got supplies.

31:10Oh.

31:11Gosh.

31:12What's his name?

31:13Cappy.

31:14Cappy.

31:15In memory of...

31:16Cappy.

31:17Whitney had a turtle.

31:18And he lived to be 22.

31:19What is this?

31:20Why is this?

31:21Cause I...

31:22You'll see.

31:23What I expected Ashley to bring.

31:25But I can tell you that an aquarium with a rubber turtle was not on the list.

31:29For about half a second, I thought that maybe you had brought me another animal in this house.

31:33Oh my gosh.

31:34And I was like, I don't have 22 years to waste on another turtle.

31:37But you're trying to have a baby.

31:39Well, I know.

31:40But I have 22 years to waste on a baby, but not on a turtle.

31:44Well, I have other things.

31:45I'll be right back.

31:46Okay.

31:47Knowing Whitney's penchant for like the supernatural and...

31:52Just like the woo-woo of it all.

31:54I think a good old wound cleansing is in order.

31:58Apparently pineapple and any kind of salty food stimulates the blood flow to your uterus.

32:06I have really done my research.

32:08I've looked up the old wives tales.

32:10I am ready to just kind of put some of these things into practice and see what sticks.

32:15I hope I'm getting a couple girls pregnant tonight.

32:18Here.

32:19We might dabble in a little witchcraft.

32:23Honey, cast a spell on me.

32:25Hell yeah.

32:26I have to put these socks on you.

32:28These socks are very comfy.

32:29I told you.

32:31Wait, now why do we have to wear socks?

32:33Warm feet, warm wound.

32:34Oh, okay.

32:35Is that what they say?

32:36I don't know.

32:37It's what I say.

32:39Do you actually have any idea what you're doing?

32:41Do I have kids?

32:44Do I?

32:45When I was pregnant with Harper, Whitney did all these old wives tales.

32:48Things to try to get me to go into labor.

32:51That's disgusting.

32:53She fed me some pretty strange spicy foods.

32:57I'm gonna throw up.

32:58She gave me a kind of uncomfortable facial and a very uncomfortable nipple rub.

33:05This is the weirdest thing that I've ever experienced.

33:09She put together a baby blessing ritual.

33:12Call in baby spirits and welcome you baby.

33:16And then to top it off, she held my leg in the delivery room.

33:20There it goes.

33:24Oh, she's beautiful.

33:26And so now that she's trying to get pregnant, I feel like it's time for me to return the favor and listen, where there's a womb, there's a way.

33:34Next, we're going to light the sage.

33:38You know what?

33:39I have always said that if I need to, I will sage my , I don't care.

33:43I have saged my .

33:44Have you?

33:45I haven't, so I'm ready.

33:46Absolutely.

33:47That didn't say that's where we're going, but sure.

33:49Gonna need a little more lighter on that.

33:53I just put that sage on out.

33:55Am I light in the right end?

33:57Is there a right end?

33:58I don't think you are.

34:00I am looking forward to this.

34:02I have got energies I need to clear out.

34:03Yeah.

34:04Plus, I'm talking to some guys on the apps and I'd like it to be squeaky clean.

34:08How would the guy feel if you fall pregnant?

34:11Who said I can't be dating and inseminating?

34:13Stop.

34:14Who said I can't?

34:15Me.

34:16Who said I can't?

34:17I'm saying it right now.

34:18Sage in that mouth.

34:19What happens if she gets pregnant and she's like on date three with some guys she really

34:25likes?

34:26Like, what is she just gonna say?

34:27Hey, how do you feel about being my baby's daddy?

34:32Maybe you should put the dating on hold?

34:35I made y'all these dolls.

34:36Oh.

34:38You are meant to be given these by someone who has like successfully bared children.

34:45Now where's his hood up?

34:46So listen, what you do with these and this is, hey, don't laugh.

34:50I'm not.

34:51This is from a culture, okay?

34:52You put these around under near the area where you are intending to conceive.

34:59Stop.

35:00So I hide this under my bed?

35:01Have you seen what happens in movies when people do that?

35:04These are some weird ass rituals.

35:06We've got some Blair Witch dolls.

35:08Oh, now he's right cute.

35:10Yeah.

35:11Fake turtles.

35:12They're very symbolic of fertility.

35:15And now she's making an omelet on Whitney's bed?

35:18What the hell have I gotten myself into?

35:21Okay.

35:22Oh.

35:23Listen, just listen.

35:24I'm gonna say some words.

35:26Eggs to earth.

35:27Oh, no.

35:28And it's okay.

35:30Repeat after me.

35:31Eggs to earth as moon mourns dust.

35:35Eggs to earth as moon mourns dust.

35:38Mother earth shall hold them warm.

35:41Mother earth shall hold them warm.

35:43And on my union place her charm.

35:47And on my union place her charm.

35:50I can't believe that Ashley really did all this.

35:52I'm thoroughly impressed.

35:53We have an egg wash.

35:55We got sticks.

35:56I mean, we have a prayer.

35:57Like, she went all out.

35:59Now you take your doll and your turtle.

36:02You put them under your bed.

36:03And you get at it.

36:04All right.

36:05Let me go do it then.

36:06Hurry.

36:07Okay.

36:08Wait outside.

36:09I'll let you know when I'm ready.

36:10I'll be just as quick as any man.

36:11Trust me.

36:12Okay.

36:13Oh.

36:14Ew.

36:15It was all fun and games when Ashley walked in with a rubber turtle.

36:18But now things are getting really real.

36:20Y'all take Goosey now.

36:21She don't need to see this.

36:23She ran.

36:24She agrees.

36:26It was one thing to have my eggs frozen.

36:28And this is another.

36:29This is actually the most intentional act that I've ever done to try to get pregnant in my life.

36:36And it feels weird that I'm doing it alone.

36:39I'm probably nervous.

36:42Like.

36:47I don't know.

36:51All right.

36:52I think I'm.

36:53I'm ready to get pregnant.

36:56All right.

36:57I guess we can cut guys.

37:00I'm about to inseminate myself.

37:03And hope that I get pregnant.

37:05That is like.

37:07That's crazy.

37:08But there's.

37:09There's no going back now.

37:10So.

37:13Here we go.

37:25Ashley has cleansed and prepared my womb.

37:29And I am ready to receive.

37:31I really do hope this happens for you guys.

37:34Yeah.

37:35I know.

37:36Right.

37:37Yeah.

37:38It's kind of weird to think about the fact that like.

37:40Whitney's in the other room.

37:41Like.

37:42Inseminating herself.

37:43Like.

37:44She could literally be getting pregnant.

37:46Like right now.

37:47It's kind of crazy.

37:48Whitney.

37:49Are you ready for us?

37:50Yeah.

37:51Surprisingly.

37:52This whole operation was pretty quick.

37:54And I feel a little panicky.

37:56I have that like.

37:57Oh my God.

37:58Oh my God.

37:59Oh my God.

38:00Feeling.

38:01I will say.

38:02This process was really much more efficient.

38:04Less disappointing.

38:05And a lot cleaner.

38:07Than.

38:08Doing it the natural way.

38:10It was only this much.

38:12Just like real life.

38:13No.

38:14It didn't seem like enough.

38:15You know.

38:16It don't take much.

38:17I am so confused about the amount.

38:20Of the sperm.

38:22I have never seen.

38:26This little tiny amount.

38:28I just feel like.

38:29Are y'all sure I don't need some more?

38:31Do you feel pregnant yet?

38:33I am not sure.

38:35You know what.

38:36Let's put your leg.

38:37Can you hold a leg?

38:38Oh hold a leg.

38:39Hold a leg.

38:40We have come full circle.

38:41Oh my God.

38:42Let's put your legs in the air.

38:43Well who is going to hold my leg?

38:44Well.

38:45Isaiah.

38:46There.

38:47Okay.

38:48Yeah.

38:49Get it in there.

38:50What was that like?

38:51I have to say.

38:52I never envisioned it quite like this.

38:54I think this is the best way.

38:56God.

38:57This is like.

38:58This is worse than when Tal did the love spell.

39:00Worse?

39:01What do you mean?

39:02God bless him.

39:03Well.

39:04I'm okay hearing about Tal.

39:06We might not be friends.

39:07But I don't want like bad things for him.

39:09I know.

39:10I'm actually worried about him.

39:11I think.

39:12That Tal's been going through it for a long time.

39:14And I think that maybe this has been weighing on him.

39:16Maybe he just needs to sit with you and hear.

39:19What we all know to be true.

39:21Which is just people grow and evolve.

39:23And things change.

39:24And I wish you well.

39:25I don't want to have a conversation.

39:28I've said before.

39:29What if he needs that for his healing?

39:31Because he.

39:32Ashley when I tell you.

39:33Why would he need me to heal?

39:34I think maybe.

39:35The healing should be within.

39:36I know.

39:37But maybe he just needs closure.

39:38You know I'm a great mediator.

39:40What if I was there and I mediated it.

39:42So nothing went sideways.

39:43I'll have to think about it.

39:45Please do.

39:46It's not any of my business.

39:47Whether they want to repair their relationship or not.

39:49However.

39:50I hope that neither one of them are suffering.

39:52And that it's not like affecting other parts of their lives.

39:54And.

39:55Ashley might be there.

39:56But I don't think that Tal is.

39:58You go home.

39:59Go home.

40:00Get my freak on.

40:01I want to be like.

40:02I can't get my shoes on with my socks.

40:03Text me.

40:04But then that's like a little.

40:05Well.

40:06I guess we'll find out in about two weeks.

40:07Wait.

40:08How long do we have to wait?

40:09Just two?

40:10No way.

40:11We're gonna know for real.

40:12Yeah.

40:13Two weeks.

40:14You got your turtle.

40:15We're gonna know if we're pregnant in two weeks.

40:16Honestly.

40:17I don't know what I was expecting.

40:18But this was definitely a different experience.

40:20And now.

40:21I'm thinking about.

40:22Oh my gosh.

40:23What if I'm pregnant?

40:24What if I.

40:25What if I have a child?

40:26What if I have to change the diapers?

40:27What if I have to send it to school?

40:28What if I have to get in a math tutor?

40:29What if I have to coach the soccer team?

40:30All those thoughts that normally scare the out of me.

40:32Are actually very exciting.

40:33Because that's actually sounds like a really cool life to have.

40:36And I would be so happy if that life is gonna be mine.

40:40Put that doll under your bed.

40:42Yeah.

40:43It's going under the bed.

40:44Oh.

40:45Or wherever we end up doing it.

40:46Bye, dad.

40:47Bye, guys.

40:48I got a clear.

40:49Good luck text.

40:50Okay.

40:51Oh.

40:52Bye, girls.

40:53Bye.

40:54Bye.

40:56Next time on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

40:58I just threw up in your parking lot.

41:00Is it a pregnancy throw up?

41:01Are you pregnant?

41:02If I'm pregnant, I don't think I would know yet.

41:04Make a joke.

41:05A pipe pal.

41:06I don't know what is happening right now.

41:09I feel weird.

41:11We are here to remember Henchy.

41:14I was told to dress in black formal attire for a memorial service for a cat.

41:20You're not.

41:21I thought.

41:22What?

41:23I know that Buddy did not bring a new cat to Henchy's funeral.

41:29Woo!

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