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  • 2 days ago
Short jokes about life at the Psychiatrists office by Gary Crockett.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:01Do baby crows even exist? I've never seen one.
00:08A guy barges into a psychiatrist's office and screams,
00:12Doctor, I have suicidal tendencies.
00:16What do I do? The doctor calmly answers, pay me in advance.
00:20Knock, knock, who's there? I'm a, I'm a who?
00:23I'm a psychiatrist, I'm here cause you won't open up.
00:26A psychiatrist finds a man lying by the road who has been robbed and beaten senseless.
00:32The psychiatrist says, my God, whoever did this needs help.
00:38Yo mama so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
00:43A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said,
00:48There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see who claims he's invisible.
00:54The psychiatrist responded, tell him I can't see him.
00:59A man went to see his psychiatrist and told him no one understands me.
01:04The psychiatrist says, what do you mean by that?
01:10A man was at the hospital and he walked into a surgeon's office.
01:15Can I help you? He asked.
01:18I keep thinking that I'm a mom.
01:21The man replied, you probably want a psychiatrist for that.
01:27Yeah, I know he looked confused and why are you here?
01:31The light was on.
01:34What's the difference between a psychiatrist and a God?
01:38And a God, God doesn't think he's a psychiatrist.
01:41A man visits a psychiatrist for evaluation.
01:47After the checkup, the psychiatrist said that he was a kleptomaniac.
01:52The man replies, is there anything I can take for that?
01:58A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, doctor, you gotta help me.
02:02My wife thinks she's a piano.
02:05The doctor will bring her in and I'll see what I can do.
02:13The man says, are you nuts?
02:15Do you know how much it costs to move a piano?
02:18Doctor, a man told his psychiatrist.
02:21My wife thinks I'm crazy cause I like sausages.
02:25That's nonsense, said the psychiatrist.
02:27I like sausages myself.
02:30You do the man's treat.
02:31You should come and see my collection.
02:34I've got thousands.
02:37A wife and his husband went to see a psychiatrist.
02:40What can I do for you? He asked.
02:42Our son has got an imaginary friend.
02:45Said the wife, there is nothing wrong with a good, healthy imagination.
02:51To help a child to develop.
02:54And this is very common and nothing to worry about all.
02:59Said the psychiatrist, we haven't got a son.
03:03The husband replied.
03:04A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office.
03:13The psychiatrist asks, what seems to be the problem?
03:19The guy says, I just can't seem to make friends with anyone.
03:23Can you help me, you fat, ugly bastard?
03:27A woman asks, a psychiatrist, what is wrong with her husband?
03:32Who keeps saying over and over.
03:35I'm a TP.
03:37I'm a wigwam.
03:38Easy diagnosis.
03:40The doctor says he's too tense.
04:02I'm HIV.
04:08him
04:09Yahweh
04:11Him
04:12Whom
04:14chicken
04:17physical
04:19A was
04:21Afro
04:25Potato
04:27Engine