Bigfeet EP. 003 | PolyForge TV - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00Found this drink boys. This shit tastes fucking gas. Yeti, bud, you good? Bro, Yeti is sloshed. Yeti, what the fuck are you doing?

00:15This motherfucker randomly just started building a shack. I think this motherfucker just fell off the top and I go take a shit for five minutes and come back to this shit. What a dumb shit.

00:26Let's see if this will work.

00:35I knew that shit would work.

00:40Now the bud is chiefin' on my last dart.

00:44Yeti, I don't know the hell you built this. It's honestly dope as fuck.

00:51I found this human while I was hiking. He said he fucked with the vlog so I let him slide.

00:55Hopefully, he doesn't rat me out.

00:58Alright guys, gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow because if I stay at this location too long, I'm gonna have spectators.

01:04Sleep tight, gooners.

01:05Alright boys, just woke up.

01:08Planning on taking mad blinkers today, but we'll see how it goes.

01:13Well boys, I think that stupid human robbed me for half my sour.

01:16I'm not sure how I'm gonna manage to stay sane.

01:19Luckily, I still have a few zins left.

01:20Sorry about that. I had to protect my zins from this bummy Bigfoot who wanted some.

01:33I can't take it anymore with those damn goons.

01:36We're approaching our resting spot and boy did someone leave some goodies.

01:40I'm gonna drop a turd in the bush so it won't count as stealing.

01:47Well, that's it for today's vlog.

01:49Follow if you want more. Big feet out.

01:52We just found our goat, Diesel.

01:55Bro, that's a geek bar.

01:57We are so cooked.

01:58He's on the move.

02:01Bro, get to the whip.

02:02This car is still trash, but we're locked in.

02:06He's geeked and mobilized.

02:08We gotta move.

02:10This gummy worm flavor slaps so hard, bro.

02:17Bro, he set a trap.

02:18He's got logs.

02:20Alright boys, we're blocked in.

02:23He set the trap.

02:24He's close.

02:25And he's still vaping.

02:28Alright boys, terrain looks sketchy out here.

02:32Bro, it's a zin trap.

02:34Man, we gotta come back for all this.

02:38Alright boys, he pinged just over here.

02:40Time to set out the trout.

02:43Alright boys, we put the trout in the back of the subie.

02:52Got him boys.

02:53Alright boys, you know the drill.

02:55Drop that gas pump emoji if you like the vlog.

02:58Bigfoot boys out.

02:59Peace.

03:00Yo, what's up guys?

03:01Today we're cooking crystal meth.

03:03Fuck yeah we are.

03:04We Heisenberg'ing it, motherfuckers.

03:06Alright, Chad, it's brewing.

03:08Did you add the pseudo?

03:09Hell yeah I did.

03:11I put a little extra for the buzz.

03:13Alright boys, this is the finished product.

03:15And boy oh boy, are we about to get lit.

03:17Hell yeah we are.

03:19We straight chain smoking this for real.

03:20Now we just need to package this shit and get it all ready.

03:23I call first hit.

03:25Hell nah bro, I did most of the work.

03:28You ready to smoke this shit?

03:30Hell yeah I am.

03:31Holy fuck, I can't feel my balls.

03:40Dude, me either.

03:47Wait, since when were we in water?

03:49Dude, we just got to land.

03:54Dear God, that was the worst trip ever.

03:56What the hell happened?

03:58Don't take meth, kids.

04:00This is Gerald.

04:02Found him lost in the woods and now I can't imagine life without him.

04:06We're like two peas in a pod.

04:08So Gerald had to, well, you know.

04:11But he lived his best life.

04:13Today we're making herb crusted lamb chops.

04:16We're going with rosemary, thyme, garlic, basically anything that didn't smell poisonous.

04:22Just press it in like you mean it.

04:24High heat sear, three to four minutes per side.

04:26Internal temp, 130 for medium rare.

04:29Let it rest.

04:30Patience is key unless you like chewing leather.

04:32Found this mayo near a tent site.

04:35No idea how old it is, but it hasn't grown legs, so it's fair game.

04:40Time to serve.

04:41Don't be shy.

04:42It's free range, forest raised, and emotionally complicated.

04:45People always ask if I really cook the animals in these videos.

04:51Maybe.

04:52Or maybe Gerald's back at home watching TV.

04:55You'll never know.

04:56Alright, you've all been asking for the cabin tour.

04:58It's coming soon.

04:59Cleaned it up.

05:01The mess.

05:02Blame my roommate.

05:04Just found this homeless dude.

05:05He smells like shit and piss, but he told me if I took him someplace, he'd make it worth

05:09my while.

05:10Guys, he wasn't lying.

05:12Homie hooked me up with a buttload of zins.

05:15That guy wanted me to take him to the edge of a cliff.

05:18The only reason I said yes is because if he accidentally slipped and fell, I'd have some

05:22free dinner.

05:23While I was hiking, I found this guy named Rick, who's an albino Bigfoot.

05:27What's good, chat?

05:28We homies now, for real.

05:29He's mad chill.

05:30We just scared some hikers shitless.

05:32I'm pretty sure I saw a shit stain on one of their pants.

05:36They are never coming back to Yosemite.

05:38Chat, Rick just said he's afraid of water.

05:40Should I throw him in?

05:42You better not.

05:43Guys, wait.

05:45Maybe I'll do it up ahead.

05:46Holy shit.

05:47We're in the damn air.

05:49Yeah, no shit.

05:50Smart ass.

05:50We flying.

05:51You want a zin?

05:53Hell yeah.

05:54Holy shit.

05:55That was crazy.

05:57Guys, he didn't mention it, but he was scared as fuck to go skydiving.

06:00Oh, shut up.

06:01All right, boys.

06:02That's all for today's vlog.

06:04Make sure to follow for more.

06:06Shut up.

06:06That's my line.

06:07Boys, we might be off the coast of Cuba.

06:12Let's go check out that suspect ass boat behind me.

06:17We are definitely off the coast of Cuba.

06:23Jackpot.

06:23I'm a crackhead.

06:26I'm officially a crackhead.

06:28I should be, like, dead after all that.

06:33They crashed out so hard.

06:35Super lit, though.

06:36But it looks like we're here.

06:38But I smell sunscreen.

06:41As soon as I got to the beach, I had to dip.

06:43Locals were tripping.

06:45That leftover boogie shuggy in my system had me zooming out of there.

06:49Not too sure where I am, but I see a swamp just up ahead.

06:53Going to rip a little dip.

06:54Yeah, I know.

06:55Wet the whistle a little bit.

06:57These little lizards behind me think they're the shit.

06:59I can take them.

07:02Swamp puppy catching cook coming soon.

07:05Saw a sign that said Everglades or something like that.

07:08Where's the Floridian hussies?

07:09I'm trying to link.

07:11See you guys in the next one.

07:13Guys, I think they caught Rick.

07:14That dumb dickhead thought it would be a good idea to piss on a human's tent.

07:18Now he's fucked.

07:20You have the right to remain silent.

07:22Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

07:25Fuck yeah, Chad.

07:26I escaped.

07:27Fuck the police.

07:31All right, now I got to find big feet.

07:34Those pigs never had a chance of catching me.

07:39Guys, look who it is.

07:40This motherfucker somehow got away from the cops.

07:42Oh, it was easy.

07:43I just used a donut as a distraction and those bums fell for it.

07:46To celebrate, we've taken blunts.

07:50Oh, fuck yeah.

07:51A blunt and a zen for the win.

07:53All right, boys.

07:54We just caught dinner.

07:56Yeah, and I get first roast.

07:57Fuck no, dude.

07:58I caught most of the food.

07:59And you're going to eat most of it too fat ass.

08:02My meat is the best meat.

08:03Boy, you fruity as hell.

08:09All right, boys.

08:10That's it for today's vlog.

08:12So follow if you want more.

08:14Big feet and Rick foot out.

08:16Well, that didn't last long.

08:17Damn it, damn it, damn it.

08:19These tribies look pissed.

08:21I got to try and bribe them.

08:24Guys, I'm hiding.

08:25There's like 100 cracked out tweakers with spears.

08:28Stay tuned.

08:32I managed to get to the top of their island.

08:35I can see the yacht from here.

08:37I'm going to make a break for it.

08:40Those tribies tried to sacrifice me.

08:42I had to drop a couple of them.

08:44That was really 100 men versus one gorilla right there.

08:48I fully crashed out, guys.

08:49They really tried to turn me into a myth.

08:52I'm back at the yacht.

08:53I'm safe.

08:54I need a beer.

08:56Caught dinner.

08:58Pretty sure I saw this guy in Nemo.

09:00Not my first time second guessing what I'm about to eat.

09:04Let's just say I did not know this guy was up here.

09:07I'm going to watch a quick tutorial on how to fly this puppy.

09:10And we'll take her for a spin.

09:12Damn it, damn it, damn it.

09:13That tutorial sucked, bro.

09:15I wasn't even in the air for like 20 seconds.

09:17Bruh.

09:18Goofy ass helicopter.

09:20Whatever.

09:21Whatever I just licked off that tropical frog is really starting to kick in now.

09:26I feel like I'm going to...

09:28Yo, I am tweaking.

09:29I'm definitely tweaking.

09:31Never again.

09:32Got some bad weather coming in, boys.

09:39Might be cooked.

09:41Damn!

09:43We're all good, boys.

09:45I got enough beer in me to riz some mermaids if need me.

09:49Why-ee-ha-ha!

09:51Woo!

09:52I was watching some campers earlier.

09:53They kept putting this thing to their mouth and sucking on it, creating smoke.

09:56So I stole it and, well, now I can't stop sucking on it.

10:00These little lizards behind me think they're the shit.

10:02I can take them.

10:05Swamp puppy catching cook coming soon.

10:08Moon dot shine?

10:10That'll put some hair on your hair.

10:16We are definitely off the coast of Cuba.

10:18Jackpot!

10:24I can't take a dump without some dude named Kyle yelling,

10:27There he is!

10:28I see him!

10:30I mean, damn!

10:31Guys, I've been thinking, every time I try to join society

10:34and kind of, you know, get out of my comfort zone,

10:37y'all call it a sighting and run.

10:39I found some cigs.

10:40Vape had me blowing Fruit Loops.

10:42This?

10:43This makes me want to wrestle a moose.

10:45All right, boys, we just got a delivery from you.

10:50Y'all been begging me to try this forest pre-workout,

10:52and it's finally here.

10:54Let's give it a rip.

10:58Nah, this is gas.

11:00Man, that gummy worm pre got me buzzing.

11:02We gotta get to water.

11:05This ain't good.

11:06Why did you guys recommend this?

11:08Someone call Fred.

11:11Bro, where'd you go?

11:12I need you, dog.

11:15This forest is too real, man.

11:19This thing's got torque.

11:22Okay.

11:24We made it, boys.

11:26That water looks like it pays taxes.

11:30Man, I think this pre is just now kicking in.

11:32This ain't a pump.

11:33This is a crisis.

11:36Bro, my teeth just dialed 911.

11:37All right, boys, that was brutal.

11:42Let me know in the comments what you want me to try next,

11:44and drop a gas pump emoji if you like the vlog.

11:46Bigfoot boys out.

11:47Peace.

11:49All right, guys.

11:50Looks like we're cooking steak today.

11:53Been saving air for a special occasion.

11:56All right, yeah.

11:57Pan's hot.

11:58You want to hear that sizzle.

11:59If it ain't sticking a little, it ain't hot enough.

12:01Final touch, yeah, butter bath.

12:07Fire, fat, and patience.

12:09That's the combo.

12:11Time to serve these to the crew.

12:18Thinking about documenting more of my cooking out here.

12:22Let me know in the comments what else I should try.

12:25Bigfoot out.

12:26Cooking with Bigfoot.

12:28Cooking with Bigfoot.

12:30Let's go.

12:31Just took a blinker and three zins,

12:33and I'm ready for a damn good time.

12:42Found this guy.

12:42I'm going to get lit with him.

12:48Man, I'm whitewater rafting with my bud right now.

12:51Life is great.

12:53Me and that guy had a good old time.

12:57But all good things come to an end.

13:01Some people ask me if I feel guilty for making animal burgers,

13:05and, well, to that I say, negative.

13:08Just made a skate park.

13:10I'm about to grind on this thing.

13:11The tastiness overpowers the morality.

13:23The tastiness overpowers the morality.

13:23Man, today has been great.

13:24Man, today has been great.

13:30Hopefully I don't get more zen withdrawals, though.

13:32Shh, you guys are not going to believe this.

13:34I just spotted some hikers setting up camp.

13:37Tonight, we're giving them the full Bigfoot experience.

13:40Okay, I'm super close to those hikers now.

13:42They've set up camp just over there.

13:45Time to plan my big scare.

13:46I found this the other day.

13:48I've seen people use them.

13:49They make a little pop.

13:50I think they call them fireworks.

13:52That'll be the perfect scare for the hikers camping nearby.

13:54I just set up the fireworks in the hikers campfire when they went down to the lake.

13:59Now it's time to wait and see how they get scared.

14:12I thought what I used was just a fucking firework.

14:15Fuck, fuck, fuck.

14:16Yeah, got lucky with the huzz last night.

14:20Anyway, gotta get up.

14:21I promised my cousin I'd visit him at work today.

14:24Last night was crazy.

14:26Anyway, visiting Gary at the ranger station today.

14:29Family dinner.

14:30Guess you could say I'm turning myself in.

14:32Family's family, even when they work for the enemy.

14:35Gary's a Sasquatch, too, but he cut some deal with him.

14:38So I gotta be sneaky.

14:39Can't blow my cover.

14:40Oh, great, a bridge.

14:42It held squirrels.

14:43It held hikers.

14:45Let's see if it can handle 600 pounds of forest mystery.

14:48There's the station, the belly of the beast.

14:50If this vlog cuts off, tell the raccoons I love them.

14:54And delete my footage with the huzz.

14:56Blending in.

14:58Totally normal vending machine.

15:01Just taller.

15:03Way taller.

15:04Worth the annual anxiety attack.

15:06Snuck past three rangers, a vending machine, and a suspicious squirrel.

15:09But hey, chicken with family hits different.

15:12Oh, hey, there's one of those delivery trucks my cousin mentioned.

15:15Said they've been getting lots of health supplements lately.

15:18See, business must be booming.

15:20Amen.

Bigfeet EP. 003 | PolyForge TV

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