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Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00This is my version of a power shower with extra moss.
00:05Swimming worked up an appetite.
00:07No cookbook, just 800 years of wild guesswork.
00:13I found this just sitting in the middle of the trail.
00:17Left foot gave up, right foot's probably still out there fighting for its life.
00:21Found this in a tent last week.
00:23I don't know what it is, but I can't stop sucking on it.
00:27But, he's been following me for like three miles.
00:32Either a fan, or he wants my snacks.
00:37Whoever lost this, I hope your head's doing okay.
00:41This thing is built for squirrel.
00:45Sophie, age nine tech, you asked if I live alone.
00:48Not anymore.
00:50Got a raccoon roommate with attitude.
00:53Cabin upgrade complete!
00:54Interior design's hard when your contractor is a squirrel.
01:01Alright boys, someone got my address and sent me a burrito from Taco Bell.
01:06Hopefully this shit is good, boys.
01:08Damn, this shit is pretty good.
01:13Whoever sent me this, thanks my brother.
01:15They also sent me this, it's called the Volcano Taco, so this might be spicy, boys.
01:24Boys, I gotta run back to camp, and then I think I'm about to shit myself.
01:27AHHHHH!
01:33Boys, I gotta take a shit here, I have no choice.
01:35I just left a gnarly shit in someone's tent.
01:39I couldn't make it back to camp.
01:40That food gave me the runs.
01:43Whoever sent me this, should be sent right to prison for food poisoning.
01:49Nah, I'm just joking.
01:50This shit is good as fuck.
01:52I just had to take some zins to control my stomach.
01:54Anyways, if you liked the video, subscribe to Horror Gorillas for more food reviews and Bigfoot vlogs.
02:03We're fucking back again with Bigfoot vlogs, and you guys loved the last collab, so you know we had to run it back.
02:08Let's go fuck some shit up.
02:10Bigfoot has this shit called Tren.
02:11Apparently it makes you fucking huge.
02:13So, we're gonna let Randy take it for a spin.
02:16The label's just written in Sharpie.
02:17Holy shit!
02:20Randy's benching fucking 500 pounds.
02:22Bigfoot has these things called zins.
02:28Apparently they get you fucking dialed, so we're gonna rip some upper deckies and see what happens.
02:33Holy fucking shit!
02:35We're fucking dialed.
02:36I think Randy's already addicted.
02:38Bigfoot's not even breathing.
02:40I think he ascended.
02:41Randy found a fucking landmine.
02:43Bigfoot told him to stand on it to test if it's lived.
02:45And this dumbass did it.
02:46If he explodes, I'm using his bones as tinder.
02:48So, Randy just fucking walked off the landmine, casually, and then just snatched some radioactive purple shit out of Bigfoot's canteen.
02:57Thanks for fucking watching the vlog.
03:01And let us know who you want us to collab with next.
03:04Alright boys, no cap.
03:05We just found a full plane in the woods.
03:07Like, Fred already walked up to it.
03:08This thing's actually gassed.
03:09We're gonna see if we can rip it.
03:10Bro, Fred's already in the cockpit.
03:12I don't even know if this thing works.
03:15This is actually cooked.
03:16We're sending it either way.
03:18Bro, the wing lizard.
03:19That's what this thing is called.
03:22We're not making it home.
03:26No way.
03:27He's actually doing it.
03:31We're off the ground.
03:33This is cooked.
03:34He just let go.
03:35We're midair and he's chilling.
03:37This is actually fried.
03:39Bro, if you don't land this thing, I'm leaking the photo.
03:41Don't test me, Fred.
03:42Bro, what was that?
03:43We just got hit.
03:44Bro, the plane's cooked.
03:46We're about to bail.
03:47And I'm out here with a book bag.
03:49Bro, we're parachuting.
03:51Fred's not even looking down.
03:53This guy's built like an aircraft.
03:55Nah, this is actually insane.
03:57Bro, there's something in the back.
04:01That's not supposed to be in a plane.
04:04I swear if this thing's alive.
04:06Alright boys, if you want to see what's in the box,
04:08drop a gas pump emoji.
04:10Bigfoot boys out.
04:11Peace.
04:11Hey guys, another day at my new job.
04:14Today I'm going to show you some of the tools I've been learning to use.
04:18This is a nail gun.
04:20It's pretty sweet.
04:24Now let me show you the circular saw.
04:26Got to be extra careful with these bad boys.
04:28Let's give this sawzall a try.
04:36We use this on those cold, wet days to dry stuff off.
04:48So I'm probably going to be done showing you guys tools for today.
04:54One of my co-workers said I'll probably be dealing with HR.
05:01I think that stands for hourly rays or something.
05:05So I guess it means human resources.
05:08I told the lady they should have a Sasquatch resources.
05:11She didn't laugh.
05:13Guys, it's been 18 hours.
05:15I called him to see if he was okay.
05:16He didn't move.
05:17I think we lost him at hour 12.
05:19I guess I'll give it a couple more hours before I check again.
05:21Guys, Bigfoot was cheating with a bamboo straw to sneak in some air underwater.
05:25And I thought he was built different.
05:26All right, let's get this straight.
05:29Me and Bigfoot did not kiss.
05:31And if we did, it would have been a homie's kiss.
05:35Guys, today, me and Bigfoot will be blackout, drunk, and horse riding.
05:45I named him Uber.
05:46He takes me home when I can't walk.
05:51Bro, you're supposed to ride the horse, not become luggage.
05:54Stop laughing and help me.
05:57I can't.
05:58I'm filming this for content.
06:00Bro, that's not a fish.
06:03That's a dinosaur with attitude.
06:05It blinked.
06:06You know what that means.
06:07You said it.
06:08He gave us consent.
06:10Add more salt.
06:15Annual Area 51 trip today.
06:18I've been doing this for, what, 12 years now?
06:20Time to see what weird stuff the government boys want this time.
06:23There's my usual ride.
06:25Hey, guys.
06:26Thanks for the offer, but I'm walking today.
06:27Got to burn off last night's berries.
06:30Cardio goals.
06:30You know how it is.
06:31Long walk, but worth it.
06:33Only place I can have a normal conversation without someone fainting.
06:37Well, normal is relative.
06:40Security knows I'm coming.
06:41We've got an understanding.
06:43Kind of hard to miss the big hairy guy in the desert.
06:45Oh, hey, Dr. Peterson.
06:48Come say hi to the vlog.
06:50I'm a content creator now.
06:51Finally found something I'm good besides scaring hikers.
06:54The one downside of government friendship, they're really into my hair for some reason.
06:58But hey, at least they pay in salmon and wild berries.
07:02Another successful visit.
07:04Got enough supplies for summer.
07:06They're strange, but they're great listeners.
07:08Really hang on every word I say.
07:1012 years of government meetings.
07:12They're the only humans who treat me normal.
07:14Well, if normal means wanting your DNA.
07:16Bigfoot out.
07:20Oh, sounds like a storm is coming.
07:23Good thing I went and grabbed these tacos beforehand.
07:26I think my tacos got a bit wet.
07:31Still good, though.
07:33All right.
07:40What did that even hit?
07:50Mother Nature just tried to confiscate my canoe, and I won.
07:58Mother Nature doesn't like to lose.
08:00This bitch took my cabin instead.
08:03Well, back to living in the forest.
08:05I got my canoe back, but at what cost?
08:13Well, if it isn't one thing, it's another.
08:16Fuck Mother Nature.
08:19It gets pretty lonely out here.
08:21Tried making friends with a possum yesterday, but it hissed at me and then played dead, so I ate them.
08:27I think I need to find a nice location.
08:29Everywhere I've went ends in a disaster.
08:31Might try a city if I can live under the radar.
08:34Good night.
08:34I accidentally hooked up with Yeti's sister last night.
08:39I was so hammered.
08:42Man, fuck.
08:43I hope Yeti don't find out.
08:45She woke up on some bullshit saying her she loves me.
08:48F-U-K that shit.
08:50Ain't no way Yeti left the fucking car running.
08:53I'm stealing this bitch.
08:58Holy shit, there's beer in this bitch.
09:01Let's fucking G-O.
09:02Yo, chat.
09:07We crashed the Hellcat.
09:10I barely tapped the brakes, bro.
09:12Yeti's throwing a party and invited me, so his sister definitely didn't snitch.
09:16Might crack his sister again, Laukia.
09:18Now I got a pregame.
09:19Peace out.
09:20So I found this.
09:22It says, fast-acting hair removal, but Yeti's dumbass can't read, so I told him it's fur shine ultra.
09:28Bro said he want to glisten like a glacier.
09:30Look at him moisturizing like a king of bad decisions.
09:33It's tingling.
09:33That's how you know it's working.
09:35Oh, it's working.
09:35All right.
09:36Fur's coming off like peach fuzz in a blender.
09:38Man's about to unlock his final form.
09:40Smooth Yeti.
09:41Why is it patchy?
09:42W-H, why is it patchy?
09:44He looking like a busted plushie.
09:46Bro's molten.
09:48My fur.
09:50I look diseased.
09:52Water's not going to save you, bro.
09:53You need a time machine.
09:56What kind of shine cream melts fur?
09:57The kind made by humans.
10:00He looked like a rotisserie chicken.
10:02Can't even make eye contact with himself.
10:05Bigfoot did this.
10:07He mad.
10:08Bald and belligerent.
10:10I'm going to shave your back in your sleep.
10:12You'll need therapy first.
10:15So I told him it was an exfoliation prank.
10:17He said, you better sleep with one eye open.
10:20So now I live in this bush.
10:22Found you.
10:23What's up, fuckers?
10:23My alcoholic Uncle Jeff bet me 20 bucks we couldn't survive a night in a haunted house.
10:27I'm broke as shit, so here we are.
10:29I hope they have a toilet.
10:29I'm going to shit myself.
10:30This shit is fucking spooky.
10:32The ghosts need to hire some fucking cleaners.
10:34It stinks of shit in here.
10:35Nah, that's just the burritos I had earlier.
10:37Why?
10:37What the fuck?
10:39Guys, look at this.
10:40Who the fuck keeps this much baby oil stashed in a haunted house?
10:43We found this Ouija board.
10:45Let's see what the ghost has to say.
10:47N-I-G.
10:48Hold the fuck up.
10:48I don't like where this is going.
10:50I told you this was a bad idea, bro.
10:51We heard a noise upstairs, so I'm going to investigate.
10:54I ain't scared of no ghost.
10:55Never mind.
10:58Fuck that shit.
10:59This actually ain't so bad.
11:01Oh, hell nah.
11:02It's behind us.
11:04This is not worth 20 bucks.
11:05Apparently the ghost only attacks kids, so we should be good.
11:08I wonder if ghosts have a fetish for monkeys.
11:11Shut up before I lock you in the basement with the ditty ghost.
11:14Thank fuck we got out of there without getting our bum cheeks fiddled with.
11:17I don't know what this is, but it smells like it'll ruin my life.
11:25Let's go.
11:26Oh, damn.
11:31Is this what y'all drink?
11:33This tastes like speed and trauma.
11:37Why can I hear colors?
11:39Why do I suddenly want to start a podcast?
11:45Uh-oh.
11:46Uh-oh.
11:48This isn't energy.
11:49This is betrayal brewing in my colon.
11:53Clear the trail.
11:55Nature's about to get real personal.
12:01Coffee?
12:02Y'all drink that every day?
12:04No wonder humans are always angry and sprinting to the bathroom.
12:09Next time, leave a warning label.
12:11Or a diaper.
12:13You people are so unwell.
12:18Morning, squad.
12:20Biggie here.
12:21Biggie here.
12:22Slept like a moss-covered rock.
12:26Alright, break in camp.
12:28Tent survived the night.
12:29Barely.
12:30We're headed downstream toward camp spot two.
12:36River's moving fast, but Biggie's got paddle power.
12:39Keep it down, squad.
12:40Humans in the area.
12:41Real ones.
12:42Hiking boots and everything.
12:43They get closer.
12:44I activate blur mode.
12:45Don't panic.
12:46We wait.
12:46We watch.
12:46We stay blurry.
12:53Moss stew and some emergency jerky.
12:55Not bad for a wilderness dinner.
13:00Well, folks, that's the tent all set up.
13:10It's been a long day of hiking and exploring.
13:14Sounded like maybe three.
13:16Ghost elk?
13:17So, guys, I lost my fantasy football league, and all of my boys are clowning me because now
13:22I have to fucking go skydiving as a punishment.
13:24Kind of low-key tweaking about this skydiving, like what happens if the parachute doesn't
13:30open.
13:32I'm currently meeting up with the boys, but guys, one of my friends gave me these gummies
13:36and said that I should take them whenever I'm stressed, so we're going to see if this
13:39helps.
13:40These gummies are not fucking helping at all, and I am faded as shit, and there's only 10
13:44minutes until we take off.
13:45This shit is so fucking nuts, I low-key pissed myself when I first jumped out.
14:04Not sure what to do from here.
14:05I think we might be cooked.
14:07Ate shit when I landed, but the thing that really sucks is that my boys texted me and said
14:11good luck getting home.
14:12I don't know where the fuck I am.
14:14Okay, guys, just got this delivery from Amazon.
14:17I don't remember ordering anything, but hey, let's see what we're dealing with here.
14:22I've had beef with bears before, but I've never seen one that's small and white.
14:27Apparently, this is my prize.
14:29Sure, why not?
14:30Out gathering sticks to build this guy a little home, and before anyone asks, no, I'm not
14:34going to eat him.
14:35Trying this whole bonding instead of barbecuing thing.
14:38Construction's going all right.
14:39He's supervising.
14:41Got that look like, this better be worth whatever you paid.
14:44Joke's on him.
14:45I didn't.
14:46All right, house is done.
14:48Pretty sure my prize approves.
14:49Almost took my finger off celebrating.
14:52Amazon forgot to mention the teeth.
14:54Time to feed my grand prize.
14:56Probably starving after that big journey.
14:59Nothing like fresh forest fish for a prize-winning polar bear.
15:02Going to let him sleep a bit before dinner.
15:04Still can't believe this all came from a random delivery.
15:08Chat, let me know in the comments.
15:09Should I keep them?
15:10Guys, it's my first day as a cashier at Burger Shack, and can't wait to help all the sexy
15:14huss with their orders, and I think some fine shit works here, too.
15:17I ordered extra large fries, and you gave me a fucking large.
15:20We don't even sell extra larges here, you extra large bitch.
15:24Bigfoot, stop yelling at the customers and just get this chopped huss some more fucking fries.
15:29Thank you, sir.
15:30Man, I swear it's always the chuss starting some bullshit.
15:32Oh shit, guys.
15:35Maybe the back isn't that bad.
15:36I'm about to get rizzy.
15:37So you got a man, or are you just out here looking so fine for me?
15:40Bigfoot!
15:41Bigfoot, what the fuck are you doing?
15:42She's still waiting on her fries, dumbass.
15:45All right, y'all.
15:45Here's her extra fucking large.
15:48Make sure you wash it down with some Ozempic.
15:51Guys, I shouldn't have eaten that burrito.
15:53This shit ain't normal.
15:54I ain't cleaning that toilet, bruh-gay.
15:56I'm gone.
15:57Bigfoot, get back here!
15:58Guys, I needed that job to pay my child support.
16:05You guys need to check out the Flash Loop app if you want me to be able to eat this month.
16:08H-E-A, you!
16:11All right, boys.
16:11We just crashed this plane about to pop this mystery crate.
16:14Wait, bro.
16:15Is that the feds?
16:17Bro, the cops rolled up right when we were about to open the crate.
16:20We gotta come back.
16:21There's something crazy in there.
16:22All right, boys.
16:23We're deep in the woods running from the cops.
16:25Why is Fred moving like this isn't his first time?
16:30Man, it wasn't geek bars.
16:31It wasn't honey packs, bro.
16:32That crate, that was something bigger, like Area 51 type stuff.
16:35We're not supposed to know what was in there, but we're coming back.
16:38Bro, if we get caught again, tell them we thought it was a camping crate.
16:42Bro, they're on a smoke break and that thing just moved.
16:45This is not a honey pack shipment.
16:46That's Area 52.
16:48Bro, they just dumped it in the Escalade.
16:50It made a noise.
16:51What was that?
16:52That wasn't normal.
16:53Bro, the feds dipped.
16:58Bro, it's still here.
16:59Bro.
17:01Bro, it's Lil' Foot.
17:03Woo!
17:04All right, boys.
17:05Drop a gas pump emoji if you enjoyed the vlog.
17:07Let us know what you want to see next.
17:08Bro, Lil' Foot's still out here.
17:10We gotta track him down.
17:11Bigfoot boys out.
17:11Peace.
17:13Look at that.
17:14Now that's good cornbread.
17:15Today, we're making hot skillet cornbread from scratch.
17:19Let's get started.
17:19All right.
17:24First things first, crack in your eggs and pour in that buttermilk.
17:28Can't have cornbread without it.
17:31Now we add our dry mix.
17:33Cornmeal, flour, a little bit of baking powder, and some salt.
17:38Don't forget your melted butter.
17:41That's what makes it real moist and rich.
17:47Now pour it in and let her bake.
17:50You want that skillet hot so you get that crispy edge.
17:53And there it is.
17:56Hot cornbread straight from the fire.
17:59Crispy on the edge.
18:00Soft in the middle.
18:01Just how I like it.
18:03Take these five galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:06Um, I'd take them, but I need a goon right now, bro.
18:08Okay, I'll double that.
18:08Ten galaxies.
18:09Let's go.
18:09Yo, women.
18:10Take these ten galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:13Um, I would take them, but what the fuck is a galaxy gas?
18:15No questions.
18:15I'm gonna double it.
18:16Yo, sir.
18:16Take these 20 galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:19Um, I'm not a sir.
18:20I'm a ma'am.
18:20Sorry, sir.
18:21I'll double it.
18:21I said sir, not ma'am.
18:23No, my galaxies.
18:23Yo, muscle, man.
18:24Take these 40 galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:27Um, does it have protein?
18:28No, dumbass, it doesn't.
18:30Drink your shake like a good boy.
18:31Yo, fine shit.
18:32Take these 80 galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:35Um, I had too much, so I'll double.
18:37Okay, tall ass.
18:38I'll double it.
18:38Yo, grandma.
18:39Take these 160 galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:43Um, my grandson already gave me a few, so double.
18:45Okay, granny.
18:46I'll double it.
18:46Yo, douchebag.
18:47Take these 320 galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:50Yo, oh, my frat loves that shit.
18:52Double it.
18:52Okay, tough guy.
18:53I'll double it.
18:53Yo, muscle, mommy.
18:54Take these 640 galaxy gas or double it and pass it on to the next person?
18:57Give me that shit.
18:58Bet, but if you're following me, I'll give you double.
19:00Of course I follow Bigfoot on the street.
19:01This is so exciting, Bigfoot.
19:04Yo, what's up, guys?
19:05Look who just dropped in.
19:07This fuckface McGee brought gifts today.
19:10Whole crate of fun, baby.
19:11Not bad at all, but this flavor, it's kind of weird, huh?
19:17I wonder what they put inside this thing.
19:20Hey, Yeti.
19:20Sitting here and I gotta say, you're looking kind of good.
19:24Probably these honey packets messing with my head or else what?
19:27Oh, hell nah.
19:32I'm out.
19:33Where you running, my little snowflake snack?
19:36Yeti, where are you, baby?
19:37My little snow elephant.
19:40Baby, baby oil.
19:42Baby, baby oil.
19:44Yeti.
19:47Yeti.
19:47Oh, come out, come out, wherever you are.
19:49I've got a surprise for you.
19:52Yeti.
19:54Come back, I got the booger sugar.
19:56It's still right here, same spot.
19:58The honey pair gone, but I still got...
20:00Well, well, well.
20:01That little snowball up there looks kind of familiar.
20:03You think I wouldn't notice?
20:05Get your fluffy ass down here and claim your sausage.
20:08What the hell is this?
20:09Black Death Sour Candy.
20:11That sounds like a threat, not a snack.
20:13Who the fuck names candy this?
20:15I'm eating it.
20:15You know, people are soft these days.
20:17One little sour candy and they're crying on TikTok.
20:19Please, I've eaten rocks on purpose.
20:22Well, let's see what you've got, Black Death.
20:24Okay, seriously, who the fuck vacuum sealed this?
20:26Fort Knox doesn't even have this much security.
20:29There we go.
20:30Took less effort to build a cabin.
20:40Why is it attacking me?
20:43My jaw just tried to escape my face.
20:45I think I bit a hole in the air.
20:48If I don't make it...
20:49Tell my mom I wasn't a bitch.
20:56You think you broke me?
20:57Nah, I'm Bigfoot.
20:58I've survived forest fires, weird hikers, and a guy trying to pet me once.
21:02Let's dance, bitch.
21:04You know what?
21:04No.
21:05I'm done.
21:06Let the forest deal with it.
21:08I can still taste battery acid.
21:11Time to try KFC for the first time.
21:14Let's see if this chicken lives up to the hype.
21:26Bro, this chicken is going to bless my soul.
21:29Time to dunk the bird.
21:31It's weird.
21:38Mmm...
21:38Joe, can you pass me a honey packet?
21:56I used them all last night.
21:58got that gravy train baby
22:02comment the fried chicken emoji if you love kfc
22:08and comment what you want us to eat next
22:12yo guys i'm gonna put a honey pack in yeti's drink
22:16watch this
22:18let's see if he notices
22:28he's got no idea
22:35what do you mean by that nothing bro just saying you liked it
22:41is it just me or is it like really nice out here today yeah totally normal vibes
22:48bro man i feel good like i could run up that ridge
22:50okay it's kicking in he want my cheeks help me
22:53he's too fast
22:55yeti's uh he's chasing some other animal now something easier to catch i think it was a raccoon
23:04poor dude all right that's it for today gang don't put honey in your best friend's drink unless you
23:10want to get hunted like comment subscribe before yeti finds me again this is peter he's been stealing
23:15from my garden for months i was going to do something about it but decided he's too small
23:19and innocent i guess we have a bond or whatever so peter got into the herb bed again one thing led
23:24to another anyway tonight we're making slow cooked rabbit stew with carrots his favorite
23:30start with carrots because poetic irony is important garlic so he doesn't come back
23:33to haunt me time because i didn't give him enough of it peter would have hated this
23:38you want a gentle simmer nothing crazy let it take its time like i should have with peter
23:43he was a terrible gardener he fought for these carrots died for him too sorry peter
23:52anyways guys i just dropped my first round of merch check my bio to get yours peter would have wanted that
24:01you
24:10you
24:12you
24:14you
24:18you
24:20you