Bigfeet EP. 001 | PolyForge TV - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00Today we're building a primitive smokehouse to cure some meat the old-school way. Let's get to it, boys.

00:05Bro, we're bone hungry. Any of this wood will work, and we just need to go put it in the work and start chopping.

00:12We need flat ground and dry dirt. Perfect right here.

00:16Fred needs to put in some work. He's been getting lazy on me. Manual labor builds character, right Fred?

00:21Man, we're about to grub out with the boys. We're smoking this fish all night, old-school style.

00:31Yeah, what should we build next? Leave a comment below.

00:34I've seen these Takis on TikTok. I have to see if these Takis are spicy or are humans just pussies.

00:43Hopefully this shit's spicy, unlike a Hot Pocket. Not sure why y'all called it hot anyways.

00:51This isn't too bad. You guys might just be some pussies.

00:59Oh my fucking God.

01:03Is that what Satan's dick tastes like?

01:06I may have underestimated the Takis a little bit.

01:10Now my stomach is fucked.

01:13Never gonna eat Takis again. They fucked up my throat.

01:19Have a good night, fuckers.

01:21Now that the Takis are out of my system, someone recommended the one-chip challenge.

01:27It doesn't sound too bad.

01:29This time I came prepared.

01:31I got some milk.

01:33So hopefully this doesn't fuck up my stomach.

01:37Hmm. Not too bad.

01:39Oh my fucking God.

01:45I need to stop underestimating these recommendations.

01:48Fuck the person who recommended this, Chip.

01:50You are an asshole.

01:51Well, it wasn't that bad.

02:08You guys might just be weak as fuck.

02:11Oh my God.

02:17My asshole is on fire.

02:20Well, today wasn't too bad.

02:22I might need to lay off that spicy stuff for a while.

02:26Good night.

02:27Guys, Rick just ripped absolute ass.

02:30It actually smells like straight, pungent rectum ass right now.

02:33Oh, shut up. It ain't that bad.

02:34Oh, yes the fuck it is.

02:36Never eat cremini mushrooms again, dude.

02:38Dude, stop. It's really not bad at all.

02:40I can't believe a smell like that is physically possible to create.

02:43Dude, seriously, put that shit away.

02:45Bro, I'm going to eat it, dude.

02:47No, like genuinely, I want to vlog without having to cover my damn nose.

02:51Bro, why didn't you just listen to me?

02:54All right, fine. Maybe you were right.

02:56You're never coming back on another vlog again, you stinky ass squatch.

02:59You better hope these zins help you, dude.

03:01Oh, trust me. A zin will definitely do the job.

03:04Hopefully it doesn't act as a natural laxative though or we're fucked.

03:07Guys, it acted as a natural fucking laxative.

03:10Oh, God damn it.

03:11Dude, holy shit. It's everywhere, GGs.

03:15Guys, Big Feet had to go hurl because of the crime scene, so now you got only me.

03:19I will admit it was a dirty one.

03:21He's definitely going to be all right though.

03:23Dear God, I'm not sure if Rick is going to be on these vlogs for much longer.

03:26That shit was straight hell. My nose hairs were seared off clean.

03:29The only thing I can smell now is the devil.

03:32Today I'm going to be giving you boys a tour of our new humble abode.

03:36Starting off in the new lettuce farm we built last week.

03:40Yeti just finished building our lettuce farm last week.

03:43Could be a bit bigger, but...

03:45It'll do.

03:47All right, boys. So this is the house.

03:49We went with a modernistic approach because somebody couldn't live in a manly house.

03:55This is the man cave and we got playstations, TVs, pool tables, and a lot more.

04:02This is my favorite part of the man cave. Unlimited bug juice.

04:11You boys know we had to go all out for the bathroom.

04:14This is where I spend most of my time if I'm not scrolling on reels.

04:18This is our outdoor gym I've been working on for a while, and I've been working on a smaller one for Yeti since he can't lift the logs I lift.

04:26This is usually how I spend my nights, watching Sunday night football and chilling in the hot tub.

04:33Whoo!

04:34So today I wanted you guys to see my mushroom operation.

04:38Business is decent. Got three regular buyers in the forest community now, which ain't bad.

04:42These purple ones are popular with hippie campers.

04:45They get super giggly for some reason.

04:48I just grew them because they looked pretty, honestly.

04:50Got a question about that grainy footage on Twitter, Ted. Is that really you?

04:54Yeah, I was just looking over for a good fishing spot.

05:00Creek's been low with this heat.

05:02These campers have been near my home for way too long.

05:05Let's see if they get scared.

05:09Can you believe a customer complained my mushrooms made them see double?

05:13I said that's not a bug, that's a feature.

05:16Two for the price of one vision.

05:17Daily bird feeding time.

05:19These guys are worse than humans.

05:20Always hungry, never clean up after themselves.

05:22Good thing they're adorable or they'd end up in my soup pot.

05:26Evening patrol time.

05:27Got to make sure no campers left trash around.

05:29Last week found three beer cans and this flip-flop.

05:32Who loses just one flip-flop?

05:33Not as wild as usual, but can't skydive every week.

05:37Sometimes you need calm days.

05:38Plus somebody's got to manage these mushrooms.

05:40Bigfoot out.

05:42Yo, found this hot sauce called death.

05:44Let's see what's up.

05:47Not even, uh-oh.

05:50Okay, okay, I was wrong.

05:51I was so wrong.

05:53Why would they bottle this?

05:54I need snow.

05:55I need new tongue.

05:57I drank the whole creek.

06:00Still burning.

06:01If I don't make it, tell the others.

06:04Don't trust anything named death.

06:06I tried mud.

06:08Nothing works.

06:09If this is how I go, let my legacy be a warning.

06:13I saw the other side.

06:17It was made of hot sauce.

06:19Don't let this be you.

06:22It's been three minutes.

06:23Still burning.

06:25Is this how chip challenges end?

06:28Send yogurt, please.

06:29You fool.

06:32You tried death sauce, didn't you?

06:34I saw the end.

06:36You're an angel.

06:38Survived death sauce, thanks to my guy here.

06:40Always carry milk, folks.

06:42Bigfoot and Yeti.

06:44Spice level defeated.

06:45Which sick fuck looked at a cow and went,

06:47Yeah, let me yank on those tits and drink whatever comes out.

06:49Y'all drink cow titty juice every morning like it's fucking normal.

06:52What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

06:54Some absolute maniac saw a fungus growing out to cow shit and went,

06:58Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna eat that and see what happens.

07:01Who the fuck thought freezing milk was a good idea?

07:04It melts, it's cold as balls, and it hurts your damn teeth.

07:07Y'all call this dessert.

07:08Y'all need help.

07:09Who the fuck saw an egg drop out a chicken's ass and said,

07:12Yeah, I'm eating that for breakfast.

07:13Y'all out here chomping on chicken periods like it's gourmet?

07:16Humans are fucked, man.

07:17Some dumb fuck saw this dirty ass rock pop out of the ground and said,

07:20Fuck it, let's cook this dirt nugget and pray we don't die.

07:22And now it's fucking fries?

07:24Y'all are deranged.

07:26Who the fuck...

07:27Burnt ass seed pounded up, poured this little wailing water on it and said,

07:33Some dumb fuck looked at this bitter ass fermented seed and said,

07:38Let's grind it up, mix it with sugar, pour it in a mold and call it dessert.

07:41Some crazy bastard hugged a pig and said,

07:43I'm gonna slice you into crispy strips for breakfast.

07:45If I ever meet that guy, I'm shaking his damn hand.

07:48Fucking brilliant.

07:49Do I pay taxes?

07:50Tried filing once.

07:53Turns out Bigfoot isn't a legal name and my cave isn't a valid address.

07:57Do you have huzz in the forest?

07:59Not really.

08:01Closest I've had to a relationship was with a squirrel and she ghosted me during acorn season.

08:06Do I believe in aliens?

08:07Believe in?

08:09Bro, I owe one money.

08:11We play cards behind the ridge every Tuesday.

08:13Do I have hobbies?

08:14Rock collecting, bird watching, and professional lurking.

08:20I'm really good at lurking.

08:21My skincare routine?

08:24Rainwater, pine sap, and weekly mud masks.

08:28What's your advice for staying in shape?

08:32Walk everywhere, eat organic, and occasionally chase tourists.

08:36Great cardio.

08:37What's the worst thing about being famous?

08:39Everyone's always trying to get blurry photos of me.

08:41It's 2025.

08:42Your cameras are better than that.

08:44Kind of insulting.

08:45All right.

08:45That's enough questions for today.

08:47My PR team says I need a nap.

08:51See you in the next one.

08:52Chat, today we are going to be screaming workers' names, but we got Yeti as a backup screamer

08:58in the other aisle.

08:59Let's see how this goes.

09:02Grr!

09:02Gregory!

09:04I need help!

09:05Please help me, Gregory!

09:08Excuse me, sir.

09:12I know that was you that just screamed my name.

09:13I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

09:14What?

09:15That was not me.

09:16All right, chat.

09:17I hear Bigfoot arguing with the worker.

09:19Now it's my time to shine.

09:20Gregory!

09:22Where are you?

09:25Oh my gosh.

09:26What the fuck?

09:27I'm so sorry, sir.

09:28I thought it was you.

09:29Oh yeah.

09:29Let me guess.

09:30It's because I'm black.

09:32Holy shit, y'all.

09:33That worker is one dumbass bitch.

09:35I hear his ass yelling at Yeti right now.

09:37Let's go check that out.

09:42I know it was your ugly ass screaming my name.

09:44Get the fuck out the store before I call the cops.

09:46Damn, he tripping, chat.

09:48All right, chat.

09:49We have to end the vlog here.

09:50Gregory is tripping, and his bitch ass called the cops.

09:53So we out this bitch.

09:54Catch y'all in the next one.

09:56What's up, you fuckers in?

09:58Me and this fucker just found this big ass bottle.

10:01I think it's water.

10:04This shit tastes gas.

10:06Best water I've ever tasted.

10:07I feel like I could go run a fucking marathon.

10:15Just built this fucking boat.

10:18Yeti hasn't done a fucking thing, bro.

10:20I was fucking sloshed.

10:23Boys, I forgot to build the boat by the water.

10:25So now we just have a boat in the middle of the woods.

10:28We're going to do a challenge.

10:33See who can hold their breath longer.

10:35This asshole thinks he can beat me.

10:39Damn, Yeti's been under there for like an hour.

10:42He might actually beat me.

10:43How the fuck did I end up here?

10:57Look at me and Yeti are blasting MK-677.

11:00And when we get strong, we're going to get all the Yeti huss.

11:05Let's go.

11:05Push that shit up.

11:07Remember all those lies she told you?

11:09Push, Yeti.

11:10Push.

11:10Move that shit, lightweight.

11:14This shit is so fucking heavy.

11:17Damn.

11:18That MK-677 shit fucking works, bro.

11:21MK got me feeling like Mr. Olympia type shit.

11:23We're eating a 35-ounce ribeye today, boys.

11:26To fuel the fucking pump and biceps.

11:29This shit about to hit.

11:31I'm not going to lie.

11:33I didn't know Yeti could cook, babe.

11:35That shit was good as fuck.

11:37If you're trying to make some crazy fucking gains this summer, download Physiquex AI.

11:43Link in bio.

11:46Come on, Bigfoot.

11:47Pretend like you're lifting up the fat huss.

11:49The fat huss might be too heavy for me, Yeti.

11:52Yeti flex.

11:53I'm putting this shit on my Tinder profile for all the fine shit to see.

11:57Well, I didn't put a fire blanket under the plate I was welding, and I set the roof on fire.

12:01Guess I gotta fucking pack my shit and drag up.

12:03Hopefully that one pipeline will take my ass back.

12:05Boys, we made it to the pipeline.

12:08Gonna lay this mean ass root in.

12:10Watch these fucking dimes.

12:15Union break, boys.

12:17Beer, bud, and bad decisions.

12:19Now, who's got some booger sugar?

12:21Goddamn helper forgot my grinder.

12:23Again.

12:25All that fucker's good for is rolling joints and sleeping in the rig.

12:29Well, I failed my piss test.

12:31They told me to get the fuck out.

12:33Hope that one fab shop will take me back.

12:37Boys, we made it to the fab shop.

12:39Hopefully this job lasts a little longer.

12:41Welding some frames up today.

12:43Should be chill.

12:43Good thing I'm geeked right now.

12:45Fuck yeah, bud.

12:46I'm laying some absolute dimes right now.

12:49I could weld the crack of dawn all the way to a broken heart.

12:52I need more booger sugar.

12:54Meet Wilbur.

12:55He's been helping me clear the underbrush all season.

12:59Today's his last landscaping job.

13:02All right.

13:02Ribs are looking thick today.

13:06Wilbur lived full and flavored.

13:08Rest in peace.

13:09Okay.

13:10Now that we got the ribs going, oh,

13:12just hitting them with some wild herb blend.

13:15If it smells edible, it's seasoning.

13:17Low and slow.

13:18That's the secret.

13:19Breaks down the collagen so it's fall off the bone tender.

13:23Takes time, but hey, I've got a few hundred years.

13:25Found this BBQ sauce back at that abandoned camp last week.

13:29Yeah.

13:30Expired in 2019, but it smells fine.

13:33All right.

13:35Ribs are done.

13:36Mouths are ready.

13:41Someone asked how I got so good at cooking.

13:44Try feeding a forest full of picky eaters for 200 years.

13:48You either get good or get eaten.

13:49All right.

13:50That's it for today's cookup.

13:52Drop me a comment.

13:53What else should I try making out here?

13:55Bigfoot out.

13:56What's up, you weak-ass humans?

13:59I was just chilling.

14:00Then I found this bright blue magic nugget.

14:02If I grow another arm after taking it,

14:04don't say I didn't warn ya.

14:05Cheers to human technology.

14:07Let's see what this bad boy unlocks.

14:09Worst case, I fart glitter.

14:14Hold up.

14:15Something's moving.

14:16Oh, no.

14:17Oh, hell no.

14:19Why is it pulsing?

14:21Stop standing up already.

14:23Baby, I'm begging you, man.

14:25I can't live like this.

14:27It's got its own heartbeat now.

14:30You used to sleep like a kitten.

14:31Now you're like a damn street light.

14:33And I miss you when you were gentle.

14:35I'm sorry I woke the demon inside you.

14:37What the fuck is happening?

14:39I only took one.

14:40I didn't ask for this.

14:42I need water.

14:42I need mud.

14:43I need F-U-C-K-U, Viagra.

14:45All I wanted to do was piss.

14:47Ugh.

14:48Now I'm babysitting Satan's glow stick.

14:56Hey, hey.

14:57This isn't what it looks like.

14:58I was just doing forest yoga.

15:01All right, forest fam.

15:02Today's the day I'm going skydiving.

15:05Let's see if this big guy can fly.

15:09Pre-jump ritual, baby.

15:11Let's get feral.

15:12All right, forest fam.

15:18This is it.

15:19One small step for man.

15:21One giant leap for...

15:22I'm not falling.

15:27I'm ascending.

15:31The sky tastes like blue.

15:3510 out of 10.

15:37Stuck the landing.

15:39Ugh.

15:39I think I kissed a cloud.

15:40Sponsored?

15:42No.

15:43Obsessed?

15:44Absolutely.

15:46Smells like pine, glory, and redemption.

15:49Showered.

15:51Sparkly.

15:53Vibin'.

15:54Time to go feral.

15:55Let's rage, forest fam.

15:57So apparently, interpretive flailing isn't a vibe.

16:01Got kicked out for dancing too hard.

16:03Haters don't understand the art.

16:05All right, forest fam.

16:07I danced, I flew, I got clean.

16:09Time to log off.

16:11Stay wild.

16:12Good morning, pox.

16:13Forest fam.

16:14Just woke up and decided to upgrade my shelter situation.

16:18These branches are...

16:20Found this old game trail.

16:21Looks fresh.

16:23Deer came through here this morning.

16:25Might track them later if I've got time.

16:28All right, so I found some solid pine branches.

16:31Gonna use these for the roof.

16:33Gotta stay dry out here.

16:34Rain's coming.

16:35Nothing beats a warm meal after a long day.

16:39Check out this stew I whipped up.

16:47Hey, pox.

16:48Dinner time.

16:50Caught this beauty in the stream earlier.

16:52Stone tools take time, but once you've got an edge this sharp,

16:56you're in business.

16:58No metal, no problem.

17:00No metal, no problem.

Bigfeet EP. 001 | PolyForge TV

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