- 26/6/2025
Standup comedy
Danh mục
📺
TiviPhụ đề
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02:58She was trailing behind
03:01Yeah, you gotta show her
03:03Like any good boyfriend, I turned my head
03:06And said, hey Slowpoke, try and catch up
03:08And then as I looked forward
03:10I was headed right for
03:12A Chevy Tahoe
03:13It was parked
03:15And then I just didn't, you know
03:17I couldn't maneuver out in time
03:19And I just slammed into it
03:21And broke off the side view mirror with my rib cage
03:24And at that point did she ride by and go
03:27Well, f*** you Slowpoke
03:28No, no, she was very concerned
03:30She was like, are you okay?
03:31And I just reverted back to being a little kid
03:33I was like, let's just go home
03:34Let's just go home
03:35You better hope that redneck does not watch BBC America
03:38Who owns that Chevy Tahoe
03:40Hey, what the hell?
03:41I finally figured out who did it
03:42Hey, Jolene, I was saying a giant hipster done smashed into my truck
03:46They had this mustache snare across the window
03:50I knew it
03:52A few months ago when we interviewed Kevin Smith for the Notice Podcast
03:56Daniel Spillman, who was a Notice Podcast listener
03:58Took it upon himself to take the audio
04:00And then animate it in a way that made us all look great
04:03Except for Jonah, who didn't get any lines
04:05And that is why we're going to show it to you right now
04:07Take a quick look
04:08I was so pissed when I saw National Treasure
04:21And the line, this dollar bill's trying to tell me something
04:24Wasn't in the movie
04:25It was in the trailer
04:26Oh, and when you walked to the movie
04:28It wasn't there because you were waiting for it
04:29Yeah, I was like, here it comes
04:30When this happens
04:31When the credits rolled, did your singular voice go
04:34No, I waited
04:34Bulls***
04:35I was raped by National Treasure
04:38My money's talking to me
04:40It says it wants to come back into my pocket
04:41Because you raped me
04:42What is the dollar bill trying to tell me?
04:46Our first guest tonight is a dear, dear friend of mine
04:48The host of The Late Late Show
04:49And one of the most dapper looking nerds of all time
04:52Mr. Craig Ferguson is here
04:53Was that the Scottish Natural Anthem?
05:15It was
05:15It is now
05:17Hey, what I always meant to ask you
05:20What exactly is this?
05:21Is it like an asshole in a triangle?
05:23Yes, yes, it's an asshole in a triangle
05:26Yeah, all right
05:26It's nice
05:27It's very, ooh
05:28It's like
05:28It's you, it's kind of like
05:30It's asshole, it's earthy
05:30But it's also got a triangle
05:32To imply geometry
05:33No, it's my master plan
05:36If I can control all the assholes in the world
05:38Everything will be mine
05:39Because if you can control someone's asshole
05:41Like, you own them
05:43I can't even control my own asshole
05:44Oh, my God
05:46Oh, no
05:47There it goes again
05:49Will you stop your constant interruptions?
05:51Because I'm trying to talk to the ladies and gentlemen
05:53Aw, can we sing a song please?
05:54Ding ding ding ding ding ding
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13:09Yên cung cầu mỗi bất cứ của ở đây
13:12chúng tôi muốn vật lành luyện thông tin
13:14Chuyển thông tin
13:16Bất cứu tảm ơn tất now
13:18Đức là bất cứu tài như
13:18Chuyển thông tin
13:19Thế người dân thông tin
13:21Thế mặt trích
13:22Cơ sở chó
13:23Đây là tài tài tài tài tài
13:24I can actually point out
13:25indi bi Wrestling
13:26TPTB
13:27thực hiện ra
13:28Tài tài tài tài tàiền
13:29Is it short for something?
13:30Time and relative dimensions in space
13:33Right
13:34Peter Davidsson, 5th Doctor
13:36He was Tennant's favorite Doctor
13:37One of the main things is the whole
13:39Putting on glasses to make yourself look more intelligent
13:41When you don't really need them
13:43Exactly
13:44Yeah
13:45You never see the Doctor like throwing a sweet bunch of fives
13:48And then elbowing someone and then kicking the nuts
13:51The 4th Doctor acquired K9
13:54Did he have Shazam?
13:55Could you hold him up and he tell you what song was playing?
13:58David Tennant
13:59Did he fall in love?
14:00He did with Rose Tyler
14:02And did they ever...
14:05So what is Doctor Who?
14:07A show with unconventional heroes
14:09Grotesque monsters
14:10And household utensils
14:12Reporting for Nerdist in London
14:14I'm David O'Doherty
14:21Guys, guys, hang on, hang on
14:24David O'Doherty is such a nice guy
14:27He actually shipped us something special from the gift shop
14:29At the Doctor Who experience
14:30Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Smith!
14:32Yeah!
14:37Hi, buddy
14:38Hello!
14:39Thank you!
14:40Good to see you!
14:41Thank you, thank you!
14:44Matt Smith!
14:45There you go!
14:46It's a...
14:55I know one audience who might have to change its undergarments
15:00It's a complete surprise that these... they didn't know you were going to be here
15:04We totally surprised them with you
15:05Well, what a... that was a glorious welcome
15:07Thank you so much
15:08Yeah, no, they're very nice
15:09Matt, the success of Doctor Who this year... this past year has been insane
15:13First of all, congratulations
15:14Well done
15:15Yes, well done
15:16On Who
15:17Thank you, thank you, you know
15:18By the time this airs, you might be well into the second half of the series
15:22Why did they decide to break it up?
15:24You know, for Steven, it was his idea, I think, to sort of improve the... the way it's delivered
15:33to an audience, you know
15:34To have great big cliffhangers at either side of the break and entice people in
15:39That and it's a bitch to write, I think
15:41Sherlock, did you watch the Sherlock series?
15:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, I loved it
15:46Steven Moffat, you know, he's... he's just... I mean, you've met him, he's a good guy
15:52He really likes you
15:53What?
15:54Yeah
15:55Oh my God, really? Do you think he wants to go out?
15:56Yeah, he really, really likes you like...
15:58Chris, he's gonna relaunch coupling with you and yourself
16:01Oh my God!
16:03I love that guy, he's a mad genius
16:05I don't know how he manages to write, like, Who and Sherlock and then... he was doing T.T. Jekyll for a while, too
16:11Silver and Hyde and Tintin as well
16:13Yeah, Tintin, yeah, the Tintin one that's coming out
16:15Is it me, or does Benedict Cumberbatch's name sound like a porn star in the Harry Potter world?
16:21Yeah
16:22Do you know what my porn star name is?
16:24Because it's... it's your, uh... it's your first pet's name
16:27Yeah
16:28And your first street
16:29What is it?
16:30I defy you to beat this
16:31Sherbert Shepperton
16:35Give him a lick
16:36Ready?
16:37Shadow Burnham
16:38Ooh
16:40He's like a sultry porn star
16:42Mine is Goldie Darroch
16:46Darroch?
16:47Yeah, Goldie Darroch
16:48Is that a little bit of, uh... is that a little bit of the vogue?
16:50It was a fish
16:51It was a fish
16:52But what was the second word?
16:53Darroch is a Scottish word, you wouldn't understand
16:54I don't understand
16:55It's a street name
16:56Do you have one?
16:57Oh, uh... yeah, yeah, uh... Buck Dick Street
17:03Hey
17:05Are you serious?
17:07Buck Dick Street?
17:08You made it up, but it's still awesome
17:10Thank you, yeah, I did pick it up
17:11Aw, you son of a bitch
17:12I'm from Hawaii, if I were to say it would've been... it would've been Buck Kawaioloa
17:17That's better
17:18When we come back, there's more with Matt Smith and Craig Ferguson
17:20And we're gonna find out what we've learned today
17:22Woohoo!
17:41Welcome back on Nerdist
17:43We're talking with Matt Smith and Craig Ferguson
17:45I know, I'm freaking out about that, too
17:47I mean, I don't suspect that you were a nerdy guy when you were growing up, at all
17:50Đi làm gì đó?
17:52I guess to find nerdy, I made a lot of booby traps
17:54Play chess
17:55Oh, chess?
17:57You're welcome, you're amongst your own kind
17:59Wait, you played chess and made a booby trap
18:02Were you a villain?
18:05I should have been that
18:06That's good, that's good
18:09I'm thinking
18:10I want Craig Ferguson to be in Doctor Who
18:13Oh my God, Craig Ferguson
18:15I like that
18:16I don't know what to do, I mean, I would love to do it
18:21You would be a great 13th Doctor
18:23No, no, no, no
18:24Well, mother
18:25There can't ever be an American Doctor
18:28Like England, there would be a friggin' riot
18:31If there were ever an American Doctor
18:32That'd be good, American Doctor
18:34Morgan Freeman, I think
18:35Morgan Freeman
18:38Samuel L. Jackson
18:39Get these mother
18:41snakes out of this mother
18:43tartis
18:44Yeah
18:46That'd be good
18:48Nice assist
18:50Nice assist
18:52I know this is a little gimmicky
18:53But if so, it's time to regenerate
18:54And you could pick one person from our studio audience
18:56To be the next Doctor
18:58Who would it be?
18:58Oh my God
18:59Me, me, me, me, me
19:00Okay, I'm gonna find someone
19:03You're a mad fanboy, so you can't be
19:05Dammit!
19:05It's gotta be someone, it's gotta be you!
19:07Oh my God!
19:08Yay!
19:09Check out the tartis
19:12Let's check it out right here
19:13Oh yeah
19:15Here, you guys, here, I'll take a picture of you
19:19Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
19:23Wait, uh, isn't the Doctor usually inside the Tartis?
19:28What?
19:29Hey!
19:30One, two, three, perfect!
19:31We can do these!
19:32That is awesome!
19:33Unfortunately, it is not time to regenerate
19:34And Matt has no say in the matter
19:35But we hope you enjoyed the moment
19:36And congratulations to you, the theoretical 12th Doctor
19:38Uh, Mike Furman, uh, what did we learn today?
19:39Oh, we learned a lot
19:40All right, I think we need to recap
19:41Let us take our positions
20:12Because their poop gets in their fur
20:14And this is what we learned today
20:18When it comes to jamming hands inside of puppets
20:21There's Craig Ferguson
20:22Matt Smith's porno name
20:24Is Sherbert Shepelton
20:26And this is what we've learned today
20:30Oh, this is what we've learned today
20:34Matthew Myra's lost a lot of weight
20:38Zombies will be killed by Jonah Ray
20:42This next part has no lyrics here today
20:46So, ba-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
20:51This girl giggles when you touch her face
20:54Break it down!
21:03Make it stop!
21:04Make it stop!
21:05Make it stop!
21:06Turn around!
21:07Turn around!
21:08Turn around!
21:09Wrap it up!
21:10The BBC just paid for crappy dancing on this stage
21:14And this is what we learned today
21:18Oh, these are some things we learned as a group today
21:25Hey, you guys!
21:27Frank Ferguson was here!
21:29Yes!
21:30Yes, Nick was here!
21:32Jonah Ray!
21:34Matt Meyer!
21:35Come on down!
21:37For a big end-of-show hug!
21:39Fight for all of us!
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