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BetaSeries
  • 25/07/2023
Transcription
00:00 (audience cheering)
00:03 I'm very happy to be here tonight.
00:07 If you've ever seen me before,
00:09 you'll know that you're in for an evening
00:11 of crushing disappointment.
00:12 (audience laughing)
00:15 I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm a vegan, for God's sakes.
00:18 No, no, save your energy, vegans.
00:21 Kids never have tequila for breakfast.
00:26 Tequila for breakfast can lead to tequila
00:28 for mid-morning snack.
00:30 You know, in about 50 years' time,
00:32 they're gonna have to start burying people
00:34 with their phone like that in their hand?
00:36 'Cause if it's not on social media, it didn't happen.
00:40 I developed a lump in my ass.
00:42 I called up my doctor in Los Angeles,
00:44 and he said, "All right, take a photograph of the ass,
00:47 and email it to me."
00:49 I was like, "Doctor?"
00:51 Usually, it's gotta be the third day.
00:53 (audience laughing)
00:57 (upbeat music)
00:59 (whooshing)
01:02 (upbeat music)
01:04 (whooshing)
01:06 (upbeat music)
01:09 [BLANK_AUDIO]