The Party Animal_1984

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HOT MILF COMEDY MOVIE   A farm boy arrives at college determined to lose his virginity, but has no luck with women... until he discovers the secret formula to the most powerful aphrodesiac in the world and becomes the party animal.   *  #watchfreemovie  #watcnow  #fullmovie  #watchonlinemovie  #freestreaming  #StreamingNow  #MovieRecommendations  #MustWatch  #ClassicMovies  #Thriller  #Mystery  #WatchOnline  #TopRatedMovies  #CinemaLovers  #DramaFilm  #ForeignFilms  #AwardWinning  #MovieOfTheDay  #InstantClassic  #FeelGoodMovies  #RetroMovies  #MovieClips  #BestCinematography  #StreamingTonight  #LateNightMovies  #RomanticDrama  #Top10Movies  #PopcornTime  #MovieMarathon  #LoveStory  #romanticmovie  #WatchFree  #FreeMoviesOnline  #FilmOfTheYear  #BestMoviesEver  #Comedy  #FunnyMovie  #mustwatchmovie  #Movie  #Film  #filme  #Movies  #FullMovies  #ActionMovies  #ComedyMovies  #HorrorMovies  #DramaMovies  #RomanticMovies  #ThrillerMovies  #EuropeanFilms  #europeanmovie  #FrenchCinema  #SpanishMovies  #ItalianFilms  #GermanMovies  #EuropeanMovieClips  #EuropeanFilmFestival  #BestEuropeanMovies  #TopEuropeanFilms  #ClassicEuropeanCinema  #EuropeanDramaFilms  #EuropeanFilmAwards  #ScandinavianMovies  #EuropeanHorrorFilms  #EuropeanComedyMovies  #EuropeanArtFilms  #EuropeanIndieFilms

Transcript

00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords

00:00:30CastingWords

00:01:00CastingWords

00:01:30CastingWords

00:01:59himself a woman, but he was jinx.

00:02:04Even for a white boy, he was awkward.

00:02:06Old Pando had an almost a supernatural ability

00:02:10to get on the wrong side of a woman.

00:02:13Who would have ever thought it would turn out the way it did?

00:02:23Strangely enough, I was his best friend

00:02:25through the whole ordeal.

00:02:28I remember the first time I saw him driving up

00:02:32in the back of that turn-up truck.

00:02:34I thought to myself, now there's a geek,

00:02:38but basically, he was just a very nice guy.

00:02:44He just had a one-track mind.

00:02:46He was obsessed.

00:02:48I went out with Pando once, and one time only.

00:02:53Never again.

00:02:55I'd heard about him, and everything I heard about him

00:02:57was true, and now he's famous.

00:03:01I don't believe it.

00:03:02No, no, I understand.

00:03:03I don't mean Capitato, Pando, Sinatra, no!

00:03:08There was something about him.

00:03:12I think it made me want to throw up.

00:03:14He was what you call in America a nerd.

00:03:20All this talk is like Pando was turned into this big myth

00:03:23or something.

00:03:24He was just an ordinary guy.

00:03:25He was very horny, yes, but he was an ordinary guy.

00:03:29I heard he was raised on a pig farm.

00:03:31I believe it.

00:03:32He wasn't that bad.

00:03:34I was the first one.

00:03:36It all started with me.

00:03:37I think I'm the one that should be famous, not him.

00:03:39Creep.

00:03:44I tried to introduce him to campus life.

00:03:48There were some amazing-looking girls at this school.

00:03:51I tried to teach him to walk like a stud.

00:04:19All good women playing with their greasy diesel toys.

00:04:22It was hopeless.

00:04:23I mean, everyone agreed.

00:04:24Pando, Sinatra, was going to die a virgin.

00:04:28I never dreamed that it would turn out the way it did.

00:04:35Women hate me.

00:04:36It's ridiculous.

00:04:37I'd sell my soul for a piece of ass.

00:04:40Don't say that.

00:04:42It's true.

00:04:43Well, I know it might be true, but don't say it out loud.

00:04:46I'd sell myself for a piece of ass!

00:04:48I'd sell myself for a piece of ass!

00:04:50I'd be sorry you said that.

00:05:00Pando, no!

00:05:01No!

00:05:02Pando!

00:05:02Why not?

00:05:03I'm not that kind of a girl!

00:05:04Yes, you are.

00:05:05Pando!

00:05:06Stop it!

00:05:07Why?

00:05:08Oh!

00:05:09I don't know you well enough!

00:05:11Please!

00:05:12No!

00:05:13I'm a virgin!

00:05:14Get used to it!

00:05:15Please!

00:05:16I gotta know what it's like!

00:05:17I'm going blind!

00:05:18Pando!

00:05:19Don't beg!

00:05:20I'm not!

00:05:23Drive me home!

00:05:24Bend over and I'll drive you home!

00:05:26That's disgusting!

00:05:27Don't go!

00:05:28I'm sorry!

00:05:29Please!

00:05:30Ah!

00:05:31Pando, Sinatra, everything I've heard about you is true!

00:05:34You're an animal!

00:05:35And you're disgusting and you're gross!

00:05:37Can I call you tomorrow?

00:05:40Seduction is an art.

00:05:42You make love, you create art!

00:05:45You, Pando, you wage war, you understand?

00:05:48It is a war.

00:05:49It's hell.

00:05:50Old Pando was 26 years old when he started to college.

00:05:54Now, you've heard of a second year senior.

00:05:57Well, old Pando, he was a fifth year senior.

00:06:02They finally held an election and booted the boy out.

00:06:27It's been a great time since the game is not so tired.

00:06:28I had much angered!

00:06:29I'm similar, but it was in London and couldn't be elected.

00:06:32I'm a good lad!

00:06:34I'm the queen of this.

00:06:34You worked with my friends, middle two, and the wife over the home,

00:06:37DAD.

00:06:38Can i call you a member for this.

00:06:39ários, рын섯, telef.

00:06:40He is an epidemiologist.

00:06:41wide?

00:06:42Animals, friends, enough!

00:06:44They will make Arctic Nation and biếtありがとうございました!

00:06:47itious Navy Games, etc.

00:06:49Please!

00:06:50Tosses it.

00:06:51He's in Philip

00:06:56Oh, my God.

00:07:26Oh, my God.

00:07:56Oh, my God.

00:08:26Oh, my God.

00:08:56Oh, my God.

00:08:58I don't know how to pick me up here.

00:09:00Oh, here's a lovely area.

00:09:02Look at the tree.

00:09:04Here we go.

00:09:05Ladybug.

00:09:06Here we go.

00:09:08Hey, Natasha, here it is.

00:09:11Ah, this is so lovely.

00:09:14Look at the banners and the sky.

00:09:17Oh, Pando, this is beautiful.

00:09:19These flowers, they are like snow.

00:09:22Oh, Pando, this is so romantic.

00:09:27Just setting the stage.

00:09:29The stage?

00:09:30I love the theatre.

00:09:32Oh, dear.

00:09:34Your blocks, your stones,

00:09:36your worst and senseless things,

00:09:39your creaks where dead man's fingers grow.

00:09:43Ha, ha, ha.

00:09:44Brilliant trouble.

00:09:46Fantastic.

00:09:47Fantastic.

00:09:48One, two, three.

00:09:51Of course you know I'm theatre major, yes?

00:09:54I am a thespian.

00:09:55A lesbian?

00:09:56No.

00:09:57I am an actress.

00:09:59Oh, fine.

00:10:02I like to show off.

00:10:04You see?

00:10:05Yeah.

00:10:06Woo!

00:10:07Curtain.

00:10:08We got a live one, Pando.

00:10:11Big blue.

00:10:12Oh, God, I love nature.

00:10:14I love the sun and its hydrogen licking my burning skin.

00:10:27Test testing.

00:10:28One, two, three.

00:10:29Test testing.

00:10:30I love the grass roaring up out of the ground.

00:10:33Protoplasm come to get me.

00:10:35I love the wind whirling.

00:10:38What's that?

00:10:39Um, a hearing aid.

00:10:40Oh.

00:10:41I talk louder.

00:10:42That's okay.

00:10:43That's fine.

00:10:44It's fine.

00:10:45Don't panic.

00:10:46Give her the champagne.

00:10:47Do you want some champagne?

00:10:48I can do without the sham.

00:10:50Just give me the pen.

00:10:52Don't whine.

00:10:54Don't whine.

00:10:56Don't whine.

00:10:57Don't whine.

00:10:58Don't whine.

00:10:59Don't whine.

00:11:00Oh, it's fun, yes?

00:11:04Are you a poet?

00:11:05Are you a wit?

00:11:07I'm a nitwit.

00:11:09I'm a nitwit.

00:11:10I'm a halfwit.

00:11:11I'm a halfwit.

00:11:12I'm a halfwit.

00:11:13I'm a halfwit.

00:11:14I'm a moron.

00:11:15I'm a moron!

00:11:16Really?

00:11:17Goddamn you stunning.

00:11:18Will you?

00:11:20Will you just trust me on this, okay?

00:11:22Before you.

00:11:23Before you.

00:11:24I'm a moron.

00:11:25Before you, I am wordless and brainless, struck dumb, and left mindless, before the ferocious intelligence of your beauty.

00:11:45Beautiful.

00:11:46You silver-tongued little devil.

00:11:49No devil.

00:11:51No devil.

00:11:51You are certainly no saint.

00:11:54I am a devil.

00:11:55I am a pilgrim.

00:11:58Come to worship.

00:12:01Come to worship.

00:12:03Worship what, pilgrim?

00:12:11My headphones are out!

00:12:14That's okay.

00:12:16I can hear you.

00:12:19Worship what, pilgrim?

00:12:20Uh, no.

00:12:21Worship what?

00:12:22Tell me and I'm yours.

00:12:24You tell me.

00:12:26Make up something.

00:12:27Uh, the holy spot.

00:12:30No!

00:12:31The fertile delta?

00:12:32No!

00:12:33The bearded clam.

00:12:34Pondo!

00:12:35I thought you were a boy.

00:12:37I am, I am.

00:12:38Well then make love to me in verse.

00:12:42Go.

00:12:42Do it.

00:12:44Do it.

00:12:44But I'm leaving.

00:12:45But I'm leaving.

00:12:46I'm leaving.

00:12:47Roses are red.

00:12:49Violets are blue.

00:12:51You got big tits.

00:12:52I want to suck on them too.

00:12:54I'm leaving.

00:12:55Wait.

00:12:55Natasha!

00:12:56Good evening.

00:12:57I can get down.

00:12:58I can get down.

00:13:02Oh yeah.

00:13:04I'm a party animal.

00:13:06I can get down.

00:13:07But honestly, how do you expect me to party with no tools?

00:13:10I'm a party animal.

00:13:14You party animal.

00:13:15I'm a party animal.

00:13:17You party animal.

00:13:18I'm a party animal.

00:13:20You party animal.

00:13:21I'm a party animal.

00:13:24You party animal, you.

00:13:26Oh, basically, it was a free super-minded majesty.

00:13:31Kept to my mouth, I kept getting put down.

00:13:35Never knew, never knew, I never knew.

00:13:38I'm a party animal, you.

00:13:39Go ahead and do this, get down.

00:13:41I'm a party animal.

00:13:42You party animal, you.

00:13:44I'm a party animal.

00:13:46You party animal, you.

00:13:47I'm a party animal.

00:13:49You party animal.

00:13:50I'm a party animal.

00:13:52You party animal, you.

00:13:54So I go out.

00:13:57I never dream.

00:14:05Life's an illusion, love is a dream.

00:14:07Life's an illusion, love is a dream.

00:14:10Life's the illusion, love is a dream.

00:14:12Life's an illusion, love is a dream.

00:14:14Ponder, you've got to learn to knock.

00:14:17You've got enough knockers in here.

00:14:19Whatcha what?

00:14:20I'm gonna kill myself.

00:14:23Ponder, don't give up.

00:14:27All right, all right. I'll help you.

00:14:31Your will?

00:14:32Sure.

00:14:33How?

00:14:34Have you ever seen the school nurse?

00:14:35She's beautiful.

00:14:37She's yours.

00:14:38What?

00:14:39What are they asking?

00:14:40How? What do I say to her?

00:14:42You get her to examine you.

00:14:44What'll I say?

00:14:45Tell her you've got a problem with your pecker.

00:14:48I've got a problem with my pecker.

00:14:51Your what?

00:14:52My hooter.

00:14:57How long have you had it?

00:14:59I've had my hooter all my life.

00:15:03What's the problem with your member?

00:15:06My what?

00:15:08Your member.

00:15:10Well, I never thought of him as a member.

00:15:12I kind of always thought of him as a loner.

00:15:16Take off your pants.

00:15:20Underwear, too?

00:15:27I'll take off mine if you take off yours.

00:15:29Get off on the table.

00:15:31Put my hat on the table.

00:15:35Oh, no, no, no!

00:15:36Get off!

00:15:43She came at you with a face like a flower.

00:15:46Her miniskirt, short boots, and whiskey sour.

00:15:49Don't know why they won't grow up so fast and lose precious hours.

00:15:53How is she?

00:15:53Just a girl, just a girl

00:15:56You make them up and set them up and give them some lines

00:16:00That fourteen-year-old's acting like she's twenty-nine

00:16:04She thinks she's got it made, but loses every time

00:16:07Is she?

00:16:08Just a girl, just a girl

00:16:10She's just a girl

00:16:13And you welcome her with open arms

00:16:16You could be her father

00:16:18She's just a girl, just a girl

00:16:20Say that she wants

00:16:22And I'll give you her, you see

00:16:24She's just a girl, just a girl

00:16:27She's just a girl, she's only a girl

00:16:30She's just a girl, just a girl

00:16:34She's just a girl, she's only a girl

00:16:37Don't you see?

00:16:39She's just a girl, just a girl

00:16:41She's just a girl, just a girl

00:16:44She's just a girl, just a girl

00:16:47She's just a girl, just a

00:16:52Pondo, you've got to quit giving up.

00:16:57You just need some training.

00:16:59Training?

00:17:00What do you need to do?

00:17:02You need to know what to do.

00:17:04I don't know what to do.

00:17:06But you don't know how to do it.

00:17:08You need a teacher.

00:17:09What?

00:17:13You said you were my sister.

00:17:17I want to take you to see my teacher, Elba.

00:17:21Oh, Elba.

00:17:24Hmm.

00:17:25Okay.

00:17:30Oh, shit, Studley, I'm sorry.

00:17:33Hey, it's all right.

00:17:40So you come to old Elba for some advice, huh?

00:17:43Yes, sir.

00:17:46You ain't getting no pussy, is you?

00:17:51No, sir.

00:17:54Why do you think we call pussy pussy?

00:17:59Well, I don't know, sir.

00:18:00Because it's furry.

00:18:02Nah.

00:18:03Because it's warm.

00:18:06Uh-uh.

00:18:08Because it's scratch when it gets angry.

00:18:11Nah.

00:18:12Well, what then?

00:18:14Now, it don't purr.

00:18:17Ain't it don't meow?

00:18:19Then why do we call it pussy?

00:18:23I don't know, sir.

00:18:27Because that old hound dog gonna eat it up.

00:18:29You've got to be the hound dog.

00:18:32You've got to let that pussy know you're the hound dog.

00:18:36Put it in your mind.

00:18:38Be it in your body.

00:18:40Hound dog's gonna eat that pussy.

00:18:44Let me hear you say that, boy.

00:18:47Hound dog is gonna eat that pussy.

00:18:51No, no, no.

00:18:52Hound dog's gonna eat that pussy.

00:18:55Hound dog is gonna eat that pussy.

00:18:59Hound dog.

00:19:00Hound dog.

00:19:01One more.

00:19:02Hound dog's gonna eat that pussy.

00:19:06Hound dog is gonna eat that pussy.

00:19:09Hound dog is gonna eat that pussy.

00:19:20A billy white musk in your bed.

00:19:24A billy white musk in your bed.

00:19:27A billy white musk in your bed.

00:19:29A billy white musk in your bed.

00:19:34A billy white musk in your bed.

00:19:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:39Hound dog is gonna eat that pussy.

00:19:43Oh, no.

00:19:45It's gonna eat that pussy.

00:19:51A billy white musk in your bed.

00:19:54Yeah, what's going on, nigger?

00:19:57Get down.

00:20:02All right.

00:20:04Hey, brothers.

00:20:06Where be the dames tonight?

00:20:09Don't want to go home on three legs.

00:20:13Hey, now that's what I'm talking about.

00:20:16Hey, you ain't a man till you made it with a ten.

00:20:20Hey, Barry, what's that?

00:20:22Hey, excuse me, sucker.

00:20:25Well, the hound dog's not running with the pack tonight.

00:20:30Evening, darling.

00:20:32Hound dogs come to make love.

00:20:36Hey, brothers.

00:20:38Listen.

00:20:39Take note and look.

00:20:41Because the hound dog, he done written a book.

00:20:44I'm a man.

00:20:46I'm a brother.

00:20:47I'm a soul brother.

00:20:49I'm a...

00:20:50Honky.

00:22:57We got to play by the room.

00:22:58Off and come.

00:22:59I'm embarrassed.

00:23:00Oh.

00:23:01Don't be.

00:23:02It's just us.

00:23:03Come on.

00:23:04Show the boobies.

00:23:05Take off your goddamn shirt.

00:23:07Come on.

00:23:15Hey.

00:23:17Come on, okay.

00:23:18All right.

00:23:20Oh.

00:23:21I hope you lose.

00:23:23I win! Bye!

00:23:27I lose.

00:23:29Sure do.

00:23:31We lost the war.

00:23:33Yeah, I know, but I mean, that was years ago.

00:23:37A defeat like that

00:23:39kills all the romance

00:23:41in a woman's heart.

00:23:43I really find that hard to believe.

00:23:45I'd sell my soul for a piece of ass.

00:23:49Don't say that.

00:23:51That's true.

00:23:53I know it might be true, but don't say it out loud.

00:23:55I'd sell myself for a piece of ass!

00:23:57I'm sorry, you said that.

00:24:01I think you need some new clothes.

00:24:03Clothes make the man.

00:24:05Now, I want you to go to Willinger's.

00:24:07You got that? Willinger's.

00:24:09It's a clothing store.

00:24:11You tell him to give you the works.

00:24:13Willinger's.

00:24:21Willinger's.

00:24:27Studley said to give me the works.

00:24:33Tell!

00:24:35Oh, no!

00:24:37Oh, damn punk rocker!

00:24:39Damn you, Studley!

00:24:41Oh, no!

00:24:43Oh, no!

00:24:45Oh, no!

00:24:47Oh, no!

00:24:49Oh, no!

00:24:57Oh, no!

00:24:59Oh, no!

00:25:01Oh, no!

00:25:03Hi, Studley.

00:25:10Oh, no, no!

00:25:33Would you shut up?

00:25:49Would you shut up?

00:25:51I am not an animal.

00:26:03Bullshit!

00:26:06That's an animal!

00:26:08Whoa!

00:26:13Lando, don't worry about it, because I got it all figured out.

00:26:16This is absolutely guaranteed to get you laid.

00:26:21I have never seen this fail.

00:26:24Come on.

00:26:52One blue job, $22.50.

00:26:56One hand job, $11.50.

00:27:00One hemorrhoid massage, $12.95.

00:27:06Hi, girls.

00:27:08Ponder, come on.

00:27:10No, don't go away.

00:27:12Come on, don't be embarrassed.

00:27:14Attaboy.

00:27:16What the hell?

00:27:20Ew.

00:27:22Oh, my God.

00:27:24My face is only a cockroach.

00:27:27I got money.

00:27:29My face don't have that.

00:27:31I'm glad to fuck my father.

00:27:33Ew, get away from me!

00:27:35Studley.

00:27:37Studley.

00:27:38Damn.

00:27:39All dressed up and no place to go.

00:27:45To be here, please go.

00:27:46Go B.

00:27:47Go B.

00:27:49Go B.

00:27:51Go B.

00:27:53There, though.

00:28:25I've been waiting so long for something like this.

00:28:30Elbow, you gotta help me with Ponder.

00:28:33Can't do it.

00:28:34Talk to him.

00:28:35I talked to him. It didn't help.

00:28:37He keeps trying to kill himself.

00:28:39That's because he can't get no tail, Studley.

00:28:42But I'll tell you something.

00:28:43The more tail you get, the more tail you get.

00:28:47Now, you ought to know that, Studley.

00:28:49Yes, sir.

00:28:50Well, the less tail you get, the less you get.

00:28:54Now, that's true, too.

00:28:55Amen.

00:28:56Now, Ponder is going downhill.

00:28:58And he's picking up speed by the minute.

00:29:00The best just to get out of the way.

00:29:02I can't do that. He's my best friend.

00:29:04This is bigger than friendship.

00:29:06This is what you call, uh, cosmic.

00:29:09Really?

00:29:09Yeah.

00:29:10Yeah.

00:29:11Uh, the Buddhists call it, let me see, uh, reincarnation.

00:29:16I thought you were a Baptist.

00:29:18I figure Ponder is paying for some past lifetime.

00:29:23He'd be bad back there.

00:29:26Maybe a pharaoh.

00:29:29Maybe he had a harem of a thousand wives.

00:29:32A thousand wives?

00:29:33You know, maybe he was a jackrabbit.

00:29:37A jackrabbit?

00:29:38Yeah.

00:29:39Now, that explains it.

00:29:40In past life, Ponder was a horny little jackrabbit.

00:29:44And he got so much rabbit pussy, the good Lord said, you can't have no more.

00:29:49That explains it all.

00:29:50I don't know.

00:29:52I have never seen anybody try so hard.

00:29:55Me neither.

00:29:56But you know what?

00:29:58That's nature.

00:29:59And Mother Nature's a beautiful woman.

00:30:02You know, she'd be the final piece of ass.

00:30:04Understand?

00:30:06Yes, sir.

00:30:07Leave it be.

00:30:09That's what you call karma.

00:30:11Karma?

00:30:13Karma.

00:30:20I just want a piece of ass.

00:30:40Jesus.

00:30:42I do what I'm doing wrong.

00:30:46I'll be a party party here.

00:30:47I'll be a little fella.

00:30:48I don't want to be exactly elbow.

00:30:56Napoleon was sure.

00:30:59Did he elate?

00:31:01I'll be a little fella.

00:31:02I'll be a little fella.

00:31:03I'll be a little fella.

00:31:05I'll be a little fella.

00:31:06What am I doing?

00:31:10Everything.

00:31:11Everything.

00:31:11Tell me what to do.

00:31:15Please.

00:31:15I'll be a piece of ass.

00:31:17Oh, please.

00:31:18Not that you were the last member of this.

00:31:21Please.

00:31:22Forget it.

00:31:23No.

00:31:24No.

00:31:25No.

00:31:26I'm not a virgin.

00:31:27I'm not a virgin.

00:31:29I'm not a virgin.

00:31:29No.

00:31:30I'm not a virgin.

00:31:31No.

00:31:32No.

00:31:33No.

00:31:34No.

00:31:48No.

00:31:49No.

00:31:49Who was that?

00:32:16Trouble.

00:32:17She's that girl everywhere I go.

00:32:20I even started dreaming about her.

00:32:22Hey, you forget her.

00:32:24Forget hell.

00:32:25Now that's a woman.

00:32:38How the hell am I going to get laid?

00:32:42Drugs.

00:32:43Women love drugs.

00:32:45I've been flat broke, hot to my knees, but it's going all right now.

00:33:00No, man.

00:33:02No, man.

00:33:06A disguise, poverty, cappuccino, and lunch like that.

00:33:11No, man.

00:33:13No, man.

00:34:15Why don't we do some pills?

00:34:21I need some coke.

00:34:35Why don't we do some pills?

00:34:43Why don't we do some pills?

00:34:47Why don't we do some pills?

00:34:51Why don't we do some pills?

00:34:53Why don't we do some pills?

00:35:03Why don't we do some pills?

00:35:05Why don't we do some pills?

00:35:07Acid.

00:35:23I'm not on purple.

00:35:37I'm not on purple.

00:36:07I'm not on purple.

00:36:37I'm not on purple.

00:37:07I'm not on purple.

00:37:36I'm not on purple.

00:38:06I'm not on purple.

00:38:36I'm not on purple.

00:39:06I'm not on purple.

00:39:36I'm not on purple.

00:39:38All right, what's this for?

00:39:40Twins.

00:39:41Do you know how unhappy this one paragraph makes me?

00:39:55You know what this is about?

00:40:01This is about the salt talks.

00:40:03You know what the salt talks are?

00:40:05Yeah, sure, boss.

00:40:06Strategic arms limitation treaty.

00:40:07That's right.

00:40:08That's right.

00:40:09That's very good.

00:40:10So what they do, they say, well, listen, we'll get some more missiles.

00:40:13Moscow has more missiles.

00:40:14We need more grand.

00:40:15They call it the start.

00:40:16You know what start is?

00:40:19Strategic arms.

00:40:20That's very good.

00:40:21That's very good.

00:40:22That's very good.

00:40:23That's very good, too.

00:40:24But you see, what it really means is I can give you a little audio-visual aids here.

00:40:27Now, let's see.

00:40:28You can take this missile here, okay?

00:40:29This will represent a missile in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

00:40:32Okay?

00:40:33This will be the death count four in Colorado.

00:40:35All right?

00:40:36Those are yours.

00:40:37And we'll set up some missiles in Moscow.

00:40:40I got this one and this one over here.

00:40:42Okay?

00:40:43Red Square, right there.

00:40:44And let's say this is the president.

00:40:47Okay?

00:40:48So, one day, he comes in the office after having a bad night.

00:40:53It hasn't been so good for him, right?

00:40:55So this prick comes into his office, scratches his head, and says,

00:41:00I think I'll blow off the world today.

00:41:02Leans over, presses the button.

00:41:04What's that do?

00:41:05That launches your missile from Pittsburgh, right?

00:41:08Go ahead.

00:41:09Launch it.

00:41:10Go.

00:41:11So Moscow sees it coming and says,

00:41:15Oh, Matt Akonsky is sending a muscle.

00:41:17We have to take care of this.

00:41:23Russia's really pissed off now, right?

00:41:25So what they do is they decide to send a missile of their own, right?

00:41:29No.

00:41:30No.

00:41:35Okay.

00:41:36We've got a mess here.

00:41:37A total mess.

00:41:38But one more thing.

00:41:39Russia's got a missile they've been keeping up their sleeve.

00:41:42They roll it into position.

00:41:44They launch it.

00:41:45And...

00:41:49We're fucked.

00:41:50It's not funny.

00:41:51Scary shit, boss.

00:41:53Yeah.

00:41:54It's a shame because, you know, I love America.

00:41:59America could have been somebody.

00:42:01America could have been a contender.

00:42:07I need something to help me with women.

00:42:09You came to the right place.

00:42:10Well, sell me something.

00:42:11I got just the thing here for beginners.

00:42:14Got a little starter model right here.

00:42:17What is it?

00:42:18It's a vibrator.

00:42:20I'll take it.

00:42:21What size do you want?

00:42:22I want the biggest one you got.

00:42:23The M5, boss?

00:42:24The M5.

00:42:25Yeah.

00:42:26You don't want that one.

00:42:27He wants it.

00:42:28You don't want that one, kid.

00:42:29I want it.

00:42:30The M5, boss?

00:42:31The M5.

00:42:32Yeah.

00:42:33You don't want that one.

00:42:34He wants it.

00:42:35You don't want that one, kid.

00:42:37I want it.

00:42:38The M5 sexual device?

00:42:39You don't want that one, kid.

00:42:40Yes, he does.

00:42:41He wants the M5.

00:42:42The M5's the greatest sexual device ever devised.

00:42:43I want the M5!

00:42:45Oh, no.

00:42:46Come on.

00:42:47It's cold out.

00:42:48I want the M5!

00:42:49I want the M5!

00:42:54Oh, no.

00:42:55Come on.

00:42:56It's cold out here.

00:43:10Well, it seems so real.

00:43:13I can't see it.

00:43:16Yo, Nora.

00:43:17Don't go away.

00:43:18I'll be right back.

00:43:21This will be worth it.

00:43:26No!

00:43:28Let her rip!

00:43:48No, no.

00:43:49Oh, my God.

00:44:19Oh, my God.

00:44:49May I help you?

00:44:55I'm here to see the dean.

00:44:56Really?

00:45:04Name.

00:45:07Pondu Sinatra.

00:45:11Mr. Sinatra is here to see you.

00:45:13Yes, ma'am.

00:45:17You can go right in.

00:45:20Thanks, ma'am.

00:45:28This thing blocked out the entire campus last night, Mr. Sinatra.

00:45:32We have rules at this college, Mr. Libido.

00:45:37And if you do not abide by those rules, you'll be out on your ass.

00:45:41Is that clear?

00:45:42Yes, ma'am.

00:45:43You may go.

00:45:44Absolutely anything is possible.

00:45:51From interstellar communications to the development of a functioning aphrodisiac.

00:46:02Now, let us first look.

00:46:07Uh, Professor Schmidt.

00:46:10Ja, Herr Sinatra.

00:46:13What is an aphrodisiac?

00:46:15The word aphrodisiac comes from the African root.

00:46:23Aphro meaning large penis.

00:46:30aphrodisiac, which means want it bad.

00:46:44Now, class, please repeat after me, aphrodisiac.

00:46:52Und large penis, want it bad.

00:46:56You got it.

00:46:58Uh, Professor?

00:47:00Ja, ja?

00:47:01If one wanted to make an aphrodisiac, what would one do?

00:47:06One would have to find, you see, that element which most stimulates the female libido.

00:47:23Ha, ha, ha.

00:47:28No, I want to go home.

00:47:29I've got something for you.

00:47:30I'll bet you do.

00:47:32No, it's not what you think.

00:47:34Oh, it's not what you think.

00:47:37What is it?

00:47:37Oh, it's not what you think.

00:47:41Oh, it's not what you think.

00:47:43Oh, it's not what you think.

00:47:45Oh, it's not what you think.

00:47:47I've got something for you.

00:47:56I'll bet you do.

00:47:57No, it's not what you think.

00:47:59What is it?

00:48:00You will never guess.

00:48:03A hot beef injection?

00:48:04No.

00:48:06A trouser worm?

00:48:07Uh-uh.

00:48:08What is it?

00:48:10What's that?

00:48:12Well, this is a...

00:48:14It's a...

00:48:16No.

00:48:17Oh, shit.

00:48:21Oh, shit.

00:48:23Oh, shit.

00:48:24Oh, shit.

00:48:28When I come along, I'll pretend that it could never wait too long.

00:48:36That's why I'm telling you don't try to see me wrong.

00:48:40Keep it on the right side of the stick.

00:48:44The more I look around, I like it this way.

00:48:48It's just a little crazy.

00:48:50Everyone say, I'm not a good guy.

00:48:54I'm not a good guy.

00:48:56I'm not a good guy.

00:48:58That's why I'm not a good guy.

00:49:00That's why I'm not a good guy.

00:49:01That's why I'm not a good guy.

00:49:13Hey.

00:49:17Help!

00:49:21Help me!

00:49:23Help me!

00:49:25Help me!

00:49:26Help me!

00:49:27Help me!

00:49:28Help me!

00:49:29Help me!

00:49:30Help me!

00:49:31Help me!

00:49:32Help me!

00:49:33Help me!

00:49:34Help me!

00:49:35Help me!

00:49:36Help me!

00:49:37Help me!

00:49:38That's why I'm not a good guy.

00:49:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, son.

00:49:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, son.

00:49:50Do you know what these are?

00:49:52No.

00:49:53Gas pills.

00:49:54What?

00:49:55They make you fart.

00:49:56Make you fart?

00:49:57Shh.

00:50:00Come on.

00:50:01Come on.

00:50:08Yeah, I've done it.

00:50:09Twenty-two years of blue balls, and now it's over.

00:50:20Sophie.

00:50:21Stoodley, mamma mia!

00:50:22Just go out with him.

00:50:23He's my best friend.

00:50:24I can't get anyone else on campus to go out with him.

00:50:27Sophie, Stoodley.

00:50:29Now, he does not speak Italian.

00:50:31Italiano?

00:50:32Bueno, bueno!

00:50:33No, no, no, no.

00:50:35No Italiano.

00:50:36No.

00:50:37Maledizione.

00:50:38Capiscio.

00:50:40Uh, he's gonna be here at six o'clock.

00:50:43Buongiorno, Stoodley.

00:50:45Uh, yeah, bye.

00:50:59Oh, bello.

00:51:00That burned your nose.

00:51:01Oh.

00:51:02Oh.

00:51:03Oh.

00:51:04Swallow.

00:51:05Just swallow.

00:51:06Swallow.

00:51:07Oh.

00:51:08That's good.

00:51:09Amore mio.

00:51:10Oh.

00:51:11Let's take your car.

00:51:17Just swallow, swallow.

00:51:23That's good.

00:51:25Amore mio.

00:51:27Let's take your car.

00:51:47Oh, okay.

00:51:53Glacier.

00:51:59Glacier.

00:52:05Glacier.

00:52:08Glacier.

00:52:12Glacier.

00:52:14Glacier.

00:52:15No?

00:52:17No?

00:52:27Ah!

00:52:39Excuse me.

00:52:45Oh, mamma mia!

00:52:53Non capisco!

00:52:56Non mi era mai capitato, saranno stati quelli spaghetti americani di ieri sera!

00:53:07Oh, mamma mia, mamma mia!

00:53:15SPAGHETTI AMERICANI

00:53:45Don't write a match!

00:53:47Huh?

00:53:48Don't write a match!

00:53:49Huh?

00:53:50Don't write a match!

00:53:51Huh?

00:53:52Huh?

00:54:15Mr. Sinatra, you leave me no choice.

00:54:17Your presence at this university can no longer be tolerated.

00:54:22God knows what I'm going to tell the parents of these poor children.

00:54:46Oh, shit.

00:54:48Not a pretty sight, is it, Pando?

00:54:52Are you pleased with yourself?

00:54:58Pack your things and get out.

00:55:02Hey, Pando.

00:55:03I heard you got thrown out of school.

00:55:05Yes, sir.

00:55:06Well, you don't have to clean up that mess. I'll clean it up.

00:55:09Don't worry about it. I made a mess. I'll clean it up.

00:55:12You've got it.

00:55:17Hi, Holly.

00:55:18Hi, Holly.

00:55:19Mmm.

00:55:20Hey.

00:55:21Hey, I'm good.

00:55:22Hey, I'm good.

00:55:23I like it.

00:55:24Hey.

00:55:25And then, I'll put it in this place.

00:55:26It says the most exciting thing to eat is the most exciting thing.

00:55:27So, I'm gonna put it in place.

00:55:28Yeah.

00:55:29Oh.

00:55:30Let's go.

00:56:00I know.

00:56:01What?

00:56:02Shut up and kiss me.

00:56:07Oh.

00:56:08Ow.

00:56:09Oh.

00:56:10Hi.

00:56:11Why are you?

00:56:13What are you?

00:56:14Oh.

00:56:21Don't go.

00:56:22Easy, baby.

00:56:30Now I'm going to show you the eighth wonder of the world.

00:56:37Don't you touch me.

00:56:39Oh.

00:56:41Holly?

00:56:42Uh, can I...

00:56:57What is this shit?

00:57:00Elbow?

00:57:01Elbow!

00:57:02Elbow!

00:57:03Elbow!

00:57:04Elbow, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:57:05I'll clean it up.

00:57:06I'll clean it up.

00:57:07I'll do it.

00:57:08I'll do it.

00:57:09It ain't that much fun, Ponda.

00:57:10No, go on, Elbow.

00:57:11I'll do it.

00:57:12I'll do it.

00:57:13I'll clean it up.

00:57:14Go have a bourbon in the boiler room.

00:57:15Bye, Elbow.

00:57:16Go on.

00:57:17Bye, Elbow.

00:57:18Go on.

00:57:19Go on, Elbow.

00:57:20I'll do it.

00:57:21I'll clean it up.

00:57:22Go have a bourbon in the boiler room.

00:57:23Bye, Elbow.

00:57:24Go on.

00:57:25Go on.

00:57:29Go on.

00:57:30Go on.

00:57:31No.

00:57:32Go on.

00:57:33Go on.

00:57:34Go.

00:57:35Talk to me.

00:57:38Not that much.

00:57:44Do what I've been looking for.

00:57:53I got it. I got it!

00:57:56Elbow! Studley!

00:57:59I got it!

00:58:05I got it!

00:58:23The rain.

00:58:25Thought I heard the footsteps.

00:58:28Thought I heard the phone.

00:58:31Standing on the doorstep

00:58:35Listening alone

00:58:38And all I hear is

00:58:44Rain falling from my eyes

00:58:49These kinds of days

00:58:52I really miss you now

00:58:56Seasons will change again

00:58:59I really miss you now

00:59:03I said your name

00:59:05I wonder where you are

00:59:09What's in the rain

00:59:12And it makes me remember

00:59:14Things I tried to say

00:59:18No, not the whipped cream, not the whipped cream

00:59:22Oh no, oh no

00:59:25Oh no

00:59:26Hi girls

00:59:27Out of the way

00:59:37Whoa

00:59:39Oh

00:59:41What happened?

00:59:51I found it

00:59:53You found what?

00:59:54I'm a party animal

00:59:56Yeah, I can see that

00:59:57I found it

01:00:15Up

01:00:16Up

01:00:17Stand up straight and give me double time

01:00:20Just get up high, get up high, get up high

01:00:22Get up high, get up high, get up high

01:00:25Now hear this and you get it right

01:00:29Today's the first time you're gonna learn how to fight

01:00:32Forget about those sentiments you always feel

01:00:35From now on all you think of us, kick, kick, kick

01:00:38Ah, no!

01:00:42Now I mean what I say, cause I'm your general

01:00:44Say I'm your night and day, cause I'm your general

01:00:47I'm the one who charges, I'm a general

01:00:50I'm much weaker than sorry

01:00:52Sex weights, I'm a woman killer

01:00:55Sex weights?

01:00:55Yeah, feed me, women

01:00:57Girls, girls, girls, girls

01:00:59Good one

01:01:04Ponder, the girl is a half a mile away

01:01:08Oh, pretty

01:01:10Hey!

01:01:13Girlie!

01:01:14Over here

01:01:17Over here

01:01:19Again

01:01:21Listen

01:01:23Oh, oh

01:01:25Oh

01:01:26Oh

01:01:31Time and Daniel

01:01:33Through you

01:01:33Hertz

01:01:34I'm your general

01:01:34Down to you

01:01:35Now I mean what I say

01:01:36God, hunting general

01:01:37Say I'm your night and day

01:01:39I'm the general

01:01:40I'm the one who is yours

01:01:42I'm your general

01:01:43How much better the stars

01:01:45This is a Mount Everest of womanhood.

01:01:50No sweat.

01:01:51These girls live behind steel doors.

01:01:53No sweat!

01:01:54No man has ever made it to the third floor of this building.

01:01:58Suddenly, no sweat!

01:01:59All right.

01:02:13I need a beat.

01:02:28Kiss me!

01:02:29Ah!

01:02:30Ah!

01:02:31Ah!

01:02:32Ah!

01:02:33Ah!

01:02:34Ah!

01:02:35Ah!

01:02:36Dudley, I did it.

01:02:39Au contraire, Pando.

01:02:42Look.

01:02:43Pando.

01:02:44Pando.

01:02:45Pando.

01:02:46Go.

01:03:13Pando.

01:03:14Pando.

01:03:15Pando.

01:03:16Pando.

01:03:17Pando.

01:03:18Pando.

01:03:19Pando.

01:03:20Pando.

01:03:21Pando.

01:03:22Pando.

01:03:23Pando.

01:03:24Pando.

01:03:25Pando.

01:03:26Pando.

01:03:27Pando.

01:03:28Pando.

01:03:29Pando.

01:03:30Pando.

01:03:31Pando.

01:03:32I am.

01:03:33I am so proud.

01:03:34Pando.

01:03:35Pando.

01:03:36Pando.

01:03:37Pando.

01:03:38I am.

01:03:39Pando.

01:03:40Pando.

01:03:41Pando.

01:03:42Pando.

01:03:43Pando.

01:03:44Pando.

01:03:45Pando.

01:03:46Pando.

01:03:47Pando.

01:03:48Pando.

01:03:49Pando.

01:03:50Pando.

01:03:51Pando.

01:03:52Pando.

01:03:53Pando.

01:03:54Pando.

01:03:55Pando.

01:03:56Pando.

01:03:57Pando.

01:03:58Pando.

01:03:59Pando.

01:04:00Pando.

01:04:01Pando.

01:04:02Pando.

01:04:03Pando.

01:04:04Pando.

01:04:05Pando.

01:04:06Pando.

01:04:07Pando.

01:04:08Pando.

01:04:09Pando.

01:04:10Pando.

01:04:11Pando.

01:04:12Pando.

01:04:13Pando.

01:04:14Pando.

01:04:15Pando.

01:04:16Pando.

01:04:17Pando.

01:04:18Pando.

01:04:19Pando.

01:04:20Pando.

01:04:21Pando.

01:04:22Pando.

01:04:23Pando.

01:04:24Pando.

01:04:25Pando. Pando.

01:04:26I've heard a bit.

01:04:28I promise.

01:04:30Oh, no, no, no, you don't.

01:04:32Oh, wait!

01:04:34Oh, my God, I think I'm in love.

01:04:36Dean Fox?

01:04:42You are not Dean Fox.

01:04:44No, honey, I'm the new Dean.

01:04:46Ooh-wee!

01:04:48What?

01:04:50Look what the gods done sent me!

01:04:56In 1925, Dr. Bob Stern discovered this.

01:05:04He believed that this was some sort of symbol for, oh,

01:05:08people who would go into the cave and tell them how to get out,

01:05:11because he himself had gotten lost at this point at once,

01:05:15telling people to travel to Lord's Word.

01:05:18Why'd you knock it off?

01:05:20It was a map of some sort.

01:05:23The Stern map, we call this the Stern map.

01:05:26They used this at NASA to get the spaceship from Earth to the moon and back,

01:05:32without this, uh...

01:05:33Hondo, take me!

01:05:35Ah!

01:05:37Ah!

01:05:39Ah!

01:05:41Ah!

01:05:42Ah!

01:05:43Ah!

01:05:44Ah!

01:05:46Ah!

01:05:47Ah!

01:05:48Ah!

01:05:49Ah!

01:05:50Ah!

01:05:51Stutley, I don't know if I like this anymore.

01:05:56Hondo, this is every man's dream.

01:05:58I'm scared and I'm tired.

01:06:00Go away!

01:06:02Scared of what?

01:06:03Every woman I see wants me.

01:06:05That's wonderful.

01:06:06No, it's terrible, Stutley.

01:06:08I am greedy.

01:06:10I'm like King Midas.

01:06:12Everything I touch turns to poontang.

01:06:15What?

01:06:16What is this?

01:06:17All this fuss, this commotion?

01:06:18Over who?

01:06:19Over Pando?

01:06:20Of course, in the total scope of things, he wasn't asking for very much.

01:06:36He just wanted to get himself a little, that's all.

01:06:40What?

01:06:41Oh, they're trying to do it.

01:06:42I'm like, oh, I'm just kidding.

01:06:43They're trying to get him.

01:06:44We don't know what to do.

01:06:45They're trying to get him.

01:06:46They're trying to help you.

01:06:47They're trying to do it.

01:06:48I'm just kidding.

01:06:49Go home, dear.

01:06:50You're welcome.

01:06:51I got to.

01:06:52Over here.

01:06:53How was your name?

01:06:54You're welcoming.

01:06:55I'm the people!

01:06:56What's your name?

01:06:57I'm just kidding.

01:06:58It was a bad guy.

01:06:59I'm just kidding.

01:07:00I'm feeling like a bad guy.

01:07:01You're listening to a seat.

01:07:02Let's get out there!

01:07:04Oh, my God.

01:07:34Oh, my God.

01:08:04Oh, Pando.

01:08:23For white boy, he did all right.

01:08:26For white boy, he did all right.

01:08:56I can feel it.

01:08:59And it seems so real.

01:09:02I can taste it.

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