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00:00We're known as the Smarty Pants Society.
00:02Intellectuals who gather in the dead of night
00:04to swap ideas and share discoveries.
00:07This week, you'll hear from Lily Du,
00:10Ty LeClaire, and Cameron Esposito.
00:13Welcome to Smarty Pants.
00:15Presenters are responsible for their own research.
00:17The makers of this program cannot guarantee anything to say exactly.
00:20Welcome, members of the Smarty Pants Society.
00:23I'm your host, Rekha Shankar.
00:25And tonight's speakers have prepared presentations
00:27on a topic of their choice.
00:28But before we begin, let us say our sacred motto.
00:33Give me a V. Give me an E.
00:35Give me an R. Give me a Y.
00:37Give me a G. Give me an O.
00:40Give me another O. Give me a D.
00:42What's that spell?
00:43Very good.
00:45Now, let's bring up our first presenter.
00:52Since the Industrial Revolution,
00:54women have entered the workforce en masse
00:56and made incredible gains towards gender equality.
00:59In the 20th century alone,
01:01second-wave feminism has brought on
01:02the Equal Pay Act and Title IX.
01:04Yet true gender equality continues to elude us.
01:08Until now.
01:09Women should have second families.
01:12For too long, only men have been able to reap the benefits
01:18of having a second family.
01:20Mm-hmm.
01:20Benefits.
01:21Coincidentally, kind of looks like Rekha.
01:23Sorry.
01:26There we go.
01:27Creeping too much.
01:31Loneliness is an epidemic
01:32and leads to an increased risk
01:34of heart disease, stroke, and dementia.
01:36The Surgeon General's office called it a health crisis.
01:39But with the love and support of two families instead of one,
01:43you will be quantifiably less lonely.
01:46Mm-hmm.
01:47Back up, family.
01:48Yeah.
01:48Mm-hmm.
01:49Let's say your first family dies in a freak accident.
01:52I think about my family dying all the time.
01:54Now you don't have to waste time starting from scratch.
01:56And lastly, biological imperative.
01:59It fulfills one's primitive need to procreate.
02:02Mm-hmm.
02:02To spread one's seed, or in this case, one's eggs.
02:05Mm-hmm.
02:05Now, at this point, I want to address
02:06that not all families look the same.
02:09And I personally cannot speak
02:11for every sexual orientation or gender identity.
02:14I can only speak for all cis-heterosexual couples
02:17who choose to have kids.
02:19Mm-hmm.
02:19Right.
02:20Let's look at the current gender distribution
02:22of people who choose to have second families.
02:25Wow.
02:26Yeah.
02:27That's...
02:27Yeah.
02:28Yeah.
02:28That's a big one.
02:29Yeah.
02:30Yeah.
02:30But I'm hoping through this presentation
02:32and spreading awareness about this issue,
02:34we can reach this.
02:36Wow.
02:3750 by 50.
02:38Yeah.
02:39Yeah.
02:39I'm hoping for 50% of the people with second families
02:43to be women by the year 2050.
02:46Yeah.
02:47Yeah.
02:47Now, we'll have to start small
02:49with just maybe one woman.
02:52And I'm willing to be that woman.
02:54Yeah.
02:56Sandra Day O'Connor,
02:57the first woman Supreme Court justice.
02:59Amelia Earhart,
02:59the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic,
03:02as well as the first woman to disappear
03:04while flying solo across the Pacific.
03:06I am ready to be...
03:08Lily Dew.
03:10The first woman with a secret second family.
03:14You might be wondering,
03:16why me?
03:16First off,
03:17I already have one family.
03:19Yeah.
03:19I'm halfway there,
03:21barring any freak accidents.
03:22Mm-hmm.
03:23Yeah.
03:23Secondly,
03:24I'm incredible at compartmentalizing.
03:26I would never let my feelings for one family
03:29get in the way of the other.
03:31In fact,
03:32when I'm with my second family,
03:33I would just pack up all my feelings
03:35for the first family
03:36into a figurative box
03:37and put it to the side
03:37in a way that is simply pathological.
03:40Cool.
03:41And lastly,
03:42and most importantly,
03:44I'm willing,
03:45where nobody else was,
03:47how I would do it.
03:48First off,
03:48there's the classic work trips.
03:50Mm-hmm.
03:51I'm a working woman
03:52and work might take me out of town
03:55six months out of the year,
03:56every year.
03:57Yeah.
03:57Mm-hmm.
03:58Now,
03:59there's also the new,
04:00self-care.
04:01If I should need to travel
04:03for a month-long yoga retreat
04:05or a restorative girls trip,
04:07you know,
04:08six months out of the year,
04:09cumulatively every year,
04:11then who is my husband
04:12to question that?
04:14Yeah.
04:14Lastly,
04:15we have the hybrid.
04:16It's becoming the CEO
04:17of an innovative female-focused startup.
04:20You know the kind?
04:21It's disrupting pimple patches
04:23or blush brushes.
04:26Mm-hmm.
04:26I would need to travel
04:27six months out of the year,
04:28every year for work
04:29and also just to, like,
04:31center myself, you know?
04:33Mm-hmm.
04:33Women have been hiding pregnancy
04:35well into their third trimester,
04:37eight, nine months.
04:39Courtney Cox on Friends
04:40to Julia Louis-Dreyfus
04:41on Seinfeld
04:42have been hiding their pregnancies
04:44sitcom style.
04:45Yeah.
04:46Whether that be
04:47behind a big Amazon package.
04:48Mm-hmm.
04:50Behind a big grocery bag
04:51or behind a big stack
04:54of Ulysses S. Grant biographies.
04:57This is a tried-and-tested,
05:00fail-proof method
05:01to hide your baby bump
05:02up until delivery.
05:04Mm-hmm.
05:04Now, at this point,
05:05I feel like I've addressed everything.
05:07Maybe you have
05:08one or two questions left.
05:09Does this mean
05:10double the domestic labor?
05:13No.
05:13Oh, great.
05:14I'll only be with each family
05:15half the year,
05:16so actually that's
05:17a normal amount of labor.
05:18Will your absence
05:19hurt your child's development?
05:21No.
05:21Oh.
05:22Growing up,
05:23my father worked overseas
05:24six months out of the year
05:25every year.
05:28And I am perfectly normal.
05:30And so,
05:31next question.
05:33Will it be
05:33a financial strain
05:35to have two families?
05:37No.
05:38I'll be rich.
05:39Mm.
05:39Yeah.
05:40Isn't pregnancy
05:41incredibly difficult
05:43and painful?
05:44Yeah, absolutely.
05:45Lastly.
05:46Lastly.
05:47Are you worried
05:48your kids
05:48will find each other
05:49causing irreparable
05:51psychological harm?
05:53No.
05:53Oh.
05:54I plan to breed
05:55a deep distrust
05:56of technology
05:57that will prevent them
05:58from ever wanting
06:00to do a mail-in DNA kit
06:01or even FaceTime me
06:02while I'm away.
06:03Yeah.
06:05I can't do it alone.
06:06I need you
06:07and you
06:08to pledge your support,
06:10to raise awareness,
06:11and commit
06:13to starting
06:14a second family
06:15or encouraging
06:17a woman in your life
06:19to start a second family
06:20by 2050
06:21and post about it
06:22using the hashtag
06:2450 by 50.
06:27Thank you
06:28and have a good night.
06:29Wow.
06:32Lily,
06:33thank you for that
06:34enlightening presentation.
06:36Mm-hmm.
06:36And now to kick off
06:37the Q&A.
06:38I gotta say,
06:39you know,
06:39as somebody
06:39who's in a sapphic marriage
06:41and does gender fuckage,
06:42I think you're really
06:43leaving something
06:44on the table here
06:44mathematically.
06:45Mm-hmm.
06:46Because, see,
06:46now if a woman
06:48is with a woman
06:49or whatever I am,
06:50right,
06:50then here's this opportunity
06:52over here
06:53to additional families.
06:54And down here,
06:55to additional families.
06:57And then
06:57to additional families.
06:58Multi-level markets.
06:59A pyramid scheme
07:00of families.
07:01Exactly.
07:02I guess it's my pitch
07:03that we pay lesbians more
07:06so that we can really
07:07enact your dream,
07:09I would say,
07:09maybe even earlier
07:11than 2050.
07:12Wow.
07:12What do you think
07:12about this?
07:13Oh, wow.
07:15Just to clarify,
07:17I personally will not
07:18be paying anyone
07:19to have a second family.
07:19I'm hoping for people
07:20to do this for free.
07:22Right.
07:22I love your idea.
07:24I just didn't want
07:25to speak for other people,
07:27but if you would like
07:28to speak for all...
07:29I speak for all homosexuals.
07:31Wow.
07:32And Ty knows this.
07:34This is a verifiable thing.
07:35And Jen,
07:36you know this tale?
07:36Yes.
07:37And then, Anna,
07:38you know this?
07:39Yep, I know this.
07:39Wow, Anna, okay.
07:40Could there be a world,
07:41if you have a supportive husband,
07:42where you tell him,
07:44hey, if you believe
07:45in gender equality,
07:46I'm going to start
07:47a second family?
07:48I personally plan
07:50to have a secret
07:51second family.
07:52That's your choice.
07:53But you can have
07:54a public second family
07:56as well.
07:57Yeah.
07:58How do you handle
07:59holiday cards?
08:00Are you sending
08:00a happy Hanukkah,
08:01a Merry Christmas,
08:02a Happy New Year?
08:04No photographic evidence.
08:05I want to know
08:07if your two biological children
08:09from the two different marriages
08:11meet each other,
08:12let's say,
08:13at college
08:13or sleepaway camp
08:15and fall in love,
08:16how would you stop them?
08:19Royal families
08:19have been doing this
08:20for centuries.
08:21Stop it.
08:22And look how pasty
08:23and interesting-looking
08:25they are.
08:26They became interesting-looking.
08:28If I want to be
08:28a good ally,
08:29how can I encourage
08:30my wife to start
08:32a second family
08:32without, like,
08:33openly suggesting
08:34that to her?
08:35That's a brave question.
08:36Yeah.
08:36You could drop
08:37lots of hints.
08:39Okay.
08:39So maybe, like,
08:40while I'm ignoring her
08:42and looking at my phone
08:43in bed,
08:44I could be like,
08:44wow, seems like
08:45a lot of women
08:46are starting second families.
08:47Seems like a lot
08:48of eligible bachelors
08:49in Arizona.
08:50Aren't you traveling there
08:51for work next week?
08:53That's good.
08:53What if you just
08:54introduce her to me?
08:56Wow.
08:56Okay.
08:56All right.
08:57Yeah, well,
08:58get your number after this.
08:59And then you think
08:59it'll happen,
09:00kind of like...
09:01Mm-hmm.
09:01If your plan succeeds,
09:07what do you see
09:07the trajectory
09:08of the lip liner industry
09:09looking like
09:10with so many CEOs?
09:11You can't forget
09:12about your shell company.
09:13It's a lot of disruption.
09:15We're hoping to go public
09:16by 2050.
09:17Oh, okay.
09:18A follow-up question
09:19on that.
09:20What about the inevitable
09:21sex scandal
09:22that happens
09:23within the company?
09:24You know,
09:24we all know
09:25these feminist companies
09:26and then the big thing
09:27is you're a predator.
09:28That's how it goes.
09:33That's how it goes.
09:34Yeah.
09:34Or is your sexual scandal
09:35going to be
09:35that you allowed
09:36two of your children
09:37to have a family together?
09:39I think that's sweet.
09:40Yeah.
09:42If the two young people
09:45I love the most
09:46fall in romantic sexual love
09:48with each other...
09:49Busting.
09:50Well spoken, your leash.
09:51Well spoken.
09:53I have a question.
09:54Wait, hold on.
09:55I have to answer.
09:56Oh, yeah.
09:56What was the question?
09:57What kind of sexual predator
09:58I'm going to be?
09:58Yeah, like talk me
10:02through the...
10:03What is your sexual...
10:04At least give me one headline.
10:05Yeah, blue sky dream in here.
10:06The kind of toxic CEO
10:08I plan to be
10:09is like the CEO of Thinx
10:12changing in front of people,
10:14changing in front of employees.
10:15It's a classic.
10:16Oh, that's the best answer
10:16you could have given.
10:17A classic.
10:18How are you going to disrupt
10:20the lip liner industry?
10:21Thicker.
10:22How thick?
10:22What?
10:23What are you about to do?
10:25What are you going to do?
10:27Kiss, kiss, kiss.
10:28We got a second family here.
10:34I actually didn't
10:36give that permission.
10:39That was a straight kiss.
10:41That was a straight kiss.
10:42Okay.
10:42All right.
10:42Yeah, unfortunately,
10:44that was an extremely boring
10:45straight kiss.
10:46Okay.
10:46Yeah.
10:47I am not...
10:47How thick?
10:48Do you mean like it would be...
10:49You could feel it from here?
10:50That's how thick it is?
10:51Yeah, people usually
10:52have been thinking about
10:53lip liner thickness
10:53as on the face.
10:55I'm thinking out.
10:56Vagina lip liner?
10:58And it rolls off the tongue.
11:01Wow.
11:01Lily, thank you so much.
11:03Thank you so much.
11:12I have one question for you.
11:14What is history?
11:16Is it a simple retelling
11:18of facts from the past?
11:19Or is it the winning side
11:21stumping the truth
11:21in their favor?
11:23Well, I can tell you
11:24for a fact,
11:25as a Native person,
11:26Native history
11:26is often overwritten.
11:28Our stories are not included,
11:29sometimes on purpose,
11:30within the history books.
11:32And today,
11:32I'd like to shine light
11:33on something that I believe
11:34has been kept from you
11:35for the last 200 years.
11:38Sacagawea,
11:38the Shoshone woman
11:39who led the Lewis and Clark
11:40expeditions.
11:41A couple cool things about her,
11:42she was badass.
11:44She was a guide
11:45and an interpreter
11:46that traveled thousands of miles,
11:47all while being
11:48a working mom.
11:50Yep.
11:50She had a baby on her back
11:51the entire time
11:52she was doing this.
11:53And she's now on a coin.
11:54Yeah.
11:55But what if she is
11:57more than this?
11:57What if there is a part
11:58of her story
11:59that I am so passionate about,
12:01I am ready and willing
12:02to stake my personal
12:03and professional reputation
12:04on it?
12:05After extensive research,
12:07I've come to the conclusion
12:08that Sacagawea
12:09was America's first fag hag.
12:17We're getting into
12:17the gay portion
12:18of the presentation.
12:19Yes, yes.
12:21And for those of you
12:22uncomfortable with me
12:23using the term hag
12:24in reference
12:24to my auntie Sacagawea,
12:26please know it comes
12:27from native love.
12:29Okay.
12:29And for those of you
12:30uncomfortable with me
12:31using the term fag,
12:33please know that I can
12:34because I'm a Capricorn.
12:39Why do I believe
12:40Sacagawea was a fervent ally
12:42of the gay community?
12:43Well,
12:45Lewis and Clark were gay.
12:46If they existed
12:47in the last 10 years,
12:48they would be two
12:49Chromatica Oreo cookies.
12:50Yes.
12:52How did I come
12:53to this conclusion?
12:54Well,
12:54general vibes.
12:58Secondly,
12:59they're bad with directions.
13:01Oh, yeah.
13:02They couldn't tell
13:03north from south,
13:04left from right,
13:05but they could tell
13:05European mink
13:06from North American
13:07and beaver fur.
13:08I don't think so.
13:11Lastly,
13:12they're little bitches.
13:14They would complain a lot
13:16and they were
13:16objectively rude.
13:18So much,
13:18and this is a fact,
13:19that when they did meet
13:20Sacagawea the first time,
13:21they didn't call her
13:22by her name,
13:23but gave her the pet
13:24nickname,
13:24Janie.
13:25Oh,
13:26oh,
13:27okay.
13:28That sound can only
13:28mean one thing.
13:30It's time for
13:30gay native science.
13:34Also,
13:36that sound
13:37was not an eagle,
13:37but a red-tailed hawk,
13:38but Hollywood says
13:39it's an eagle,
13:40so here we are.
13:41I want to talk about
13:41what I call
13:42the gays and gals ecosystem.
13:44This was a deep dive
13:44into three areas
13:46where the FH dynamic
13:47exists,
13:48FH being
13:49fag-haggery.
13:51Small boy,
13:51tall girl.
13:53Since the dawn of time,
13:54these two would find comfort
13:55and solace with each other
13:56on the playground
13:57and kind of be
13:59the coolest kids.
14:00Second,
14:00workplace settings.
14:02Because a toxic workplace
14:03besets a toxic
14:04toxic relationship.
14:05Hence,
14:06Sacagawea and
14:06Lewis and Clark.
14:07The 90s.
14:09If you were alive,
14:10aware,
14:11or know someone
14:11who existed in the
14:121990s,
14:13there's a chance
14:14that you are closer
14:14to an FH dynamic
14:15than you even realize.
14:17How did Sacagawea
14:17fall into the fruit fly trap?
14:19Well,
14:19the same way anyone does.
14:22She was bored.
14:24There was no Advil,
14:26no ketamine,
14:27no fun.
14:29Secondly,
14:30she's a hot mommy.
14:31Was she a teen mom?
14:32Yes,
14:33but the times are different.
14:33And lastly,
14:34did you say free trip?
14:38These are basically
14:38the abracadabra words
14:40that create the perfect dynamic
14:41all to end with
14:42the perfect fruit bowl.
14:43I want to take a minute
14:44to talk about the actual
14:45expedition to the West.
14:46The only reason
14:47they got from North Dakota
14:48to the Pacific
14:49was because of her.
14:50She did trade negotiations,
14:53often exchanging
14:54the items on her
14:55for goods.
14:56She went to exchange
14:57a belt on her own body
14:59in exchange for horses
15:00across the Rockies,
15:00and that's an FH move.
15:03Lastly,
15:03she used her intrinsic knowledge
15:05of the land
15:05and her language
15:06to just keep everyone alive.
15:08Again,
15:08doing this with a baby
15:09on her back.
15:11And as someone
15:11who's moved from New York
15:12to Los Angeles,
15:13I can relate.
15:16Oh,
15:16we know what time it is.
15:18Gay Native Science!
15:21Ah, incredible.
15:22I asked myself,
15:23if NORAD can track Santa,
15:25then I can track this.
15:27And in a method
15:27the government uses
15:28to track tornadoes
15:29and terrorists,
15:30I created the Flame Dame Scale.
15:31The first level is FD1.
15:33A-OK.
15:33This is the most common
15:34of the FH dynamic relationship.
15:36They're usually BFS
15:37for four to five minutes.
15:39It's a short-lived scenario.
15:40Usually in the bathroom
15:41of a bar
15:42at like 2.45 a.m.
15:44A lot of things
15:44are being spilled.
15:46FD2.
15:46This is where things
15:47are starting to get
15:48a little dangerous.
15:49OK, at this point
15:50she knows the best gay bars.
15:52She knows when to go
15:53and who to go with.
15:54He has her best shirt,
15:56her favorite shirt
15:57that he says
15:57he looks cuter in.
15:58And objectively,
15:59he does.
16:00Lastly,
16:01this is the part
16:02that you should be most scared.
16:03They're traveling in packs
16:04specifically
16:05for Bachelorette weekends
16:07in Austin and Nashville.
16:09If you see a group
16:10in white cowboy boots
16:11with one gay,
16:13move.
16:13The final scale,
16:14FD3.
16:15Run,
16:16don't walk.
16:17This is basically
16:18the pairing that's like
16:19if Hiroshima happened
16:20on top of a
16:21Sabrina Carpenter concert.
16:25Wait for the storm
16:26to pass.
16:27But sadly,
16:28for Secretary Lewis Clark,
16:29it ended.
16:30Like every M. Night Shyamalan movie
16:31in the third act,
16:32it kind of just went
16:32somewhere else.
16:34But what causes this?
16:36Well,
16:37unfortunately,
16:37it's men.
16:39In a move that sadly
16:40upholds patriarchy,
16:41the gay and the gal
16:42exit back to men
16:44in their respective corners.
16:45And I have to ask myself
16:47as a gay person,
16:48how do I feel
16:50letting go of this
16:51powerful dynamic
16:51to uphold the patriarchy
16:53just to ogle
16:54some cum gutters?
16:55And well,
16:56I could say that
16:57because I'm a Pisces moon.
16:59But guys,
17:00this is our win
17:00for forgotten history.
17:02We need to celebrate this.
17:03We need to honor
17:04the forgotten queens,
17:05the forgotten fag hags
17:06of the past,
17:07including
17:07Mary Todd Lincoln.
17:08Oh, wow.
17:09Yes.
17:10Obviously.
17:11Marie Antoinette.
17:12Oh, my God.
17:14Whose fag haggery
17:14arguably led
17:15to the gayest thing ever,
17:17the French Revolution.
17:18Right.
17:19Whoa.
17:20Slay.
17:21Pinocchio.
17:23R.I.P.
17:24R.I.P.
17:25May he rest.
17:26Pinocchio.
17:28Lastly,
17:29if you feel any guilt
17:30for what happened
17:30to my people,
17:32either native or gay,
17:33feel free to Venmo me.
17:34DM me.
17:36I like all numbers
17:37to end with two zeros.
17:39Wow.
17:40This was my research
17:41on the hidden story
17:42of Sacagawea.
17:43Hi.
17:44Thank you so much
17:45for your enlightening presentation.
17:47Now to kick off the Q&A.
17:49I want to know,
17:49do we know anything
17:50about Sacagawea's sexuality?
17:52I will say that's her business.
17:53Okay.
17:53Yeah.
17:54And actually,
17:54if you could not.
17:56You know what?
17:56I'm going to go.
17:59Do you have any thoughts
18:00about how we could, like,
18:01further the usage
18:02of Sacagawea
18:03in our currency?
18:04In the honor of resistance,
18:05I think we should
18:06turn it into a weapon.
18:07That's great.
18:08Yes.
18:08I think we should get
18:09some sort of
18:10Nerf-style gun
18:11that can hit,
18:12harm,
18:13but not kill.
18:14Yeah.
18:14Enough to leave
18:15a Sacagawea print
18:16kind of just right on the cheek.
18:17Like that one
18:17Ninja Turtles toy
18:18that fired pizzas
18:19but for golden dollars.
18:20Yes.
18:21Okay, great.
18:21Also,
18:21Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
18:22are indigenous.
18:24Wow.
18:26People never talk about that.
18:27I don't.
18:28I am a cishet male,
18:31but I have often been
18:33a small boy
18:34with a tall girl friend
18:37and I just,
18:39you know,
18:40I'm not sure
18:41what the question is
18:42but I'm just sort of wondering
18:43what's that about?
18:45You're gay.
18:46Yeah.
18:47You're gay.
18:47I am?
18:49I'm a very short girl.
18:51What dynamic do I fall into,
18:53if any?
18:54I'm just gay.
18:54I don't know.
18:57Okay, sorry.
19:00You listed several
19:01historical figures
19:02that fit into the same category
19:03as Sacagawea.
19:05Are there any that you would say
19:06are the polar opposite
19:07that you can think of?
19:08Madeleine Albright?
19:11Yeah.
19:13Maybe Janet Reno.
19:15Perfect.
19:16You mentioned that
19:18when you moved here
19:19it was similar to how
19:19Sacagawea had a baby
19:21on her back.
19:21What was your baby?
19:22My baby was
19:23an eight-pound cat
19:24named Beans.
19:25Beans.
19:27Who we thought
19:28died on the plane.
19:29Right.
19:29It turns out
19:30he was just very cold.
19:32Hi, thank you so much
19:33for this wonderful presentation.
19:43Well, like a pig in pants,
19:45I wanted to introduce you
19:46to my topic.
19:47The most pivotal moment
19:48in film history
19:49was Linda Hamilton
19:51in Terminator 2.
19:52I know I could just stop here.
19:54We all already know this,
19:56but why don't we talk it through?
19:57Why don't you get
19:58your thoughts affirmed
19:59by me, Cameron Esposito?
20:02Let's start at the top.
20:05Yeah.
20:06Yeah, absolutely.
20:07Wow, wow.
20:08Oh, yes.
20:09This next patient's interesting.
20:11Like Linda,
20:12I too have been to the loony bin.
20:13And my shoulder caps?
20:15Not that bad.
20:16Ooh.
20:17Yeah, yeah.
20:17Yeah.
20:18Woo!
20:19Okay.
20:20Yeah, I mean,
20:21this is honestly
20:22what most women
20:22walking a red carpet
20:23want to look like.
20:24Why don't I run through
20:25my three indisputable points?
20:27Number one,
20:27Sarah Connor
20:28has the greatest character arc
20:30in film history.
20:31Now, not since
20:32the Virgin Mary
20:32has a more important person
20:36off-screen
20:36birth to savior.
20:37But we all know
20:39prior to this film
20:40how was birth
20:42depicted?
20:44Ellen Ripley
20:45straight out of the chest.
20:47Rosemary
20:48and her baby?
20:49Too scary to look at.
20:51And even my own mother
20:52would not positively
20:54review birth.
20:57But because of
20:58Linda Hamilton
20:59and the way she
21:01is connected
21:01to her son,
21:03John,
21:03we have a new view
21:05of motherhood.
21:06Strong motherhood.
21:07Mother that wants
21:08to be a mother.
21:09And because of
21:10Linda Hamilton's turn
21:11in this film,
21:12we got Emily Blunt
21:14in a quiet place.
21:15Just as a side story,
21:16I recently had to be
21:18in a TV show
21:19where a prosthetic nail
21:20was driven into my arm.
21:21I had to go
21:21get fitted
21:22for a prosthetic arm.
21:23The person who was
21:24directing it
21:24saw my arm,
21:26yelled out to his assistants,
21:28Horatio,
21:30bring me
21:30Emily Blunt's arm.
21:34Wow.
21:35And they just
21:36cast it off of that.
21:37They just cast it
21:38off of that.
21:39And then the next day
21:40I still had to live.
21:41But it was hard.
21:42It was hard
21:43to follow that up.
21:44Now,
21:45greatest general
21:45improvement in hair.
21:46Let's check it out.
21:47She's beautiful.
21:48I mean,
21:48it's permed and poofy.
21:50It's bushy.
21:50It's of the moment.
21:51But then look at this.
21:53Look at this!
21:53Look at this!
21:54Taught and tempting.
21:56Now,
21:56if there's anybody
21:57who understands
21:58hair evolution,
21:59it's me.
22:00I grew up with a bull cut.
22:01That's why I'm
22:01a stand-up comic.
22:02Eventually,
22:03in middle school,
22:04I had sort of
22:05what I would call
22:05a flight attendant.
22:06It was right down here,
22:07kind of a triangle.
22:09And then,
22:09for some reason,
22:10I also wore a scarf
22:11around my neck,
22:12tied facing forward.
22:13We don't know
22:15why that was.
22:17After that,
22:18I had my legendary
22:19side mullet,
22:20you remember,
22:20where I had
22:21no hair here,
22:22but a lot of hair here.
22:24Briefly,
22:24I had a greaser swoop.
22:25Now,
22:25I'm sort of doing
22:26the tie Leclerc.
22:28All right.
22:28Damsel in distress
22:29to Hunter Killer.
22:35Maybe we think,
22:37well,
22:37that's the end
22:38of Sarah Connor.
22:38She's going to run
22:39from murderous robots
22:41forever.
22:43But here she is,
22:44a damsel in distress,
22:46and don't worry.
22:47By T2,
22:48she is the hunter.
22:49She is the killer.
22:50Hunter Killer,
22:50obviously,
22:51also the name
22:51of the flying Terminator.
22:53Again,
22:53this is stuff
22:54you already know.
22:55Yeah.
22:55Training for film.
22:56Previously,
22:57this is what we got.
22:58Women in sci-fi
22:59and action films.
23:00Now,
23:00Ellen Ripley,
23:01we love her.
23:02Why is this
23:02the size of her underwear?
23:06She's a space-born trucker.
23:07Yeah.
23:08That's not the right
23:09size underwear.
23:10No.
23:10Right.
23:11Now,
23:11obviously,
23:12Princess Leia,
23:13and we love Carrie Fisher,
23:14to death.
23:16Yeah.
23:16This is her more relaxed look,
23:17but we all remember
23:18the bikini.
23:19Either way,
23:19what she's going for
23:20is a sister
23:21you kind of want
23:21to sleep with,
23:22and that's a different thing.
23:24Jane Fonda,
23:25Barbarella,
23:26obviously,
23:26huge political activist,
23:27but also like a robot
23:29that's going to sex kill you.
23:31Yeah.
23:31Yeah.
23:32What do we have now
23:33after Linda?
23:34Ilona Marr
23:34from Dancing with the Stars fame.
23:36Also an Olympic rugby player
23:38that will score a try
23:39just by running you down.
23:41This is what we have
23:42in terms of bodies,
23:44bodies to look at these days,
23:45and it's all due to Linda.
23:47Why is that?
23:48Linda trained
23:48three hours a day,
23:50six days a week,
23:51starting two weeks
23:52after she gave birth.
23:54That's how she prepped
23:55for this film.
23:55Nobody had done
23:56that kind of physical prep
23:58before this film.
23:59In fact,
24:00Linda weighed 112 pounds.
24:02She could bench 85.
24:04Four.
24:04Chris Hemsworth,
24:05when he was training,
24:06yeah, pound for pound,
24:08she could outbench him.
24:09And by the way,
24:10all Marvel heroes
24:11and their bullshit training
24:12and their bunches
24:14of hard-boiled eggs
24:15and their chicken breasts,
24:16they all owe it to her.
24:19We weren't doing this before.
24:20Do you remember
24:21Christopher Reeve
24:22as Superman?
24:24Not a muscle on the fella.
24:26Just a straight up and down.
24:28Just a real Halloween costume
24:30without the fake muscles.
24:32And that's who we believed
24:34would be a superhero.
24:35This shit,
24:36this is Linda.
24:37Now listen.
24:39Whoa!
24:40Okay.
24:41Okay.
24:42Okay.
24:43Even if we're anti-gun,
24:45we have to admit
24:45that a one-arm shotgun reload
24:48is just cool.
24:49Yeah.
24:50Yeah.
24:50It's like when you see
24:51smoking in movies
24:52and you go,
24:54yeah,
24:55lung cancer's worth it.
24:56Yeah.
24:57Oh!
24:58You want to hold that?
24:59Yes.
25:00Whoa!
25:01Oh!
25:03There's live ammo in there, baby!
25:06What are you doing?
25:07Well, here, quick.
25:08Point it at everybody
25:09while you live in.
25:12Relationship to technology.
25:14What Linda was able to do,
25:15there hasn't been
25:16a bigger moment
25:17in film tech
25:18and FX since.
25:19She had to act
25:20opposite animatronics.
25:22A robot so slow
25:23it feels like Frodo
25:24and Sam
25:25trying to get to Mount Doom.
25:28The level of acting
25:29that she is doing
25:30to run
25:31from essentially a puppet.
25:33It's like making
25:35It's a Small World scary.
25:37And I can't do that,
25:38can you?
25:39But not only
25:40was she acting
25:41opposite old school tech,
25:43she also was acting
25:45opposite new school tech.
25:46Now, in Terminator 2,
25:48there is groundbreaking
25:49facial morphing technology
25:50that had only before
25:51been used in Michael Jackson's
25:53black and white video.
25:54Now, these days,
25:54we can do this all on our phones.
25:56We've got AI,
25:57we've got filters,
25:58but at the time,
25:59nobody had acted
25:59opposite something like this.
26:01Robert Patrick
26:01in motion cap dots,
26:04and she's trying
26:05to make it seem like
26:06he's made of liquid metal.
26:08Wow.
26:08So we've got
26:09old school tech,
26:11we've got new school tech,
26:12but there's also
26:13one-of-a-kind technology
26:14in this film.
26:15Because you see,
26:16Linda, she's a twin.
26:17Her sister, a schoolteacher.
26:19And at the end of the film,
26:20when the T-1000
26:21doubles Linda,
26:23doubles Sarah Connor,
26:25so that John Connor
26:26will be confused
26:27about who his real mom is
26:28and try to save
26:29the wrong one,
26:30well, that was just
26:31Linda's actual sister.
26:32What?
26:34She played
26:35opposite animatronics,
26:37groundbreaking effects,
26:38and the co-resident
26:40of her mother's womb.
26:42Nobody's done this
26:43before or since.
26:45I know this was
26:46really fun to watch,
26:47but would you
26:48like to participate?
26:49Yes.
26:49Yes.
26:51Please bring in
26:52the chin-up bar.
26:53Oh!
26:54Oh!
26:56No!
26:57Cameron, no!
26:58Nobody's ever done
26:59exercise on dropouts.
27:01No!
27:04Cameron!
27:05You just jumped up there.
27:07Who's first?
27:09Let's go, baby!
27:10And you know
27:12what I always say?
27:12If you're not wearing
27:13a velvet blazer,
27:14that's a mistake.
27:15That's right.
27:16You got this, Rekha.
27:17Whoa!
27:18There it is!
27:19There it is!
27:19Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
27:35There it is!
27:36Oh!
27:36Oh!
27:39How dare you?
27:39There's those twisty legs!
27:40How dare you?
27:42What's that?
27:43I'm going to kill you!
27:44I'm going to kill you, Terminator!
27:45How dare you be this strong?
27:47Oh my God.
27:48I mean, one thing I'm going to say
27:49is your tweet is going to smell terrible.
27:51Oh yeah.
27:52You get that from being an animator?
27:54So not only was Linda Hamilton T1 and T2,
27:59but she took a break from Hollywood.
28:00And just as a sidebar,
28:02she has bipolar disorder.
28:04So do I.
28:05Yeah!
28:06Represent!
28:08But not too long ago,
28:09she came back in her mid-60s
28:10to reprise her role of Sarah Connor
28:13in Terminator Dark Fate.
28:15She had normal aging on her face,
28:18gray hair.
28:19I mean, I don't know
28:20what's going to happen to me
28:21in the future,
28:23but what I know is that I hope
28:25once I leave today,
28:28leave anywhere,
28:30leave this plane.
28:31Well, I hope.
28:33I'll be back.
28:40Oh!
28:40Woo!
28:41Woo!
28:42Bravo!
28:43Wow!
28:43Wow.
28:47Thank you for that
28:48enlightening presentation.
28:51Now, let's kick off the Q&A.
28:52Yeah.
28:53You mentioned that
28:54Sarah Connor
28:55and this, like,
28:56fake Sarah Connor
28:57are, like,
28:58pitted against each other.
28:59Right.
28:59If I'm Linda Hamilton's
29:01twin sister,
29:02who you said is a teacher,
29:03school teacher,
29:04hasn't been working out
29:05for a million hours a day.
29:06That's a great point.
29:07Did she look as ripped?
29:09I'm quaking in my boots
29:11to go on that set
29:12with my jacked-as-hell
29:13twin sister,
29:14and it's supposed to be like
29:15we're being confused
29:16for each other.
29:16Yeah, that's a really great point.
29:18So it's a pretty quick sequence,
29:19and she does look good.
29:21I've always wondered
29:22about her return
29:23to the classroom,
29:24because Sarah Connor's
29:25a terrifying character,
29:26and if that was your teacher,
29:28I just feel like
29:28you'd do your homework.
29:29Yeah, totally.
29:31Can you talk about
29:32the Linda Hamilton
29:33to Michelle Obama arms pipeline?
29:36That's such a great question.
29:37Great question.
29:37And the answer is
29:38Angela Bassett.
29:40I see.
29:41Yes, yes.
29:42What celebrity's arm
29:43do I have?
29:44Like, you were lucky enough
29:45to have...
29:45Yeah, I'll give it to everyone.
29:47Take it off.
29:48Take it off.
29:48Take it off.
29:50Wow.
29:50Wow.
29:51Wow.
29:51Whoa.
29:52Cool.
29:53And show...
29:53And pop me a...
29:54Yeah.
29:54Oh, sorry.
29:55It might not pop.
29:56But that's just
29:57a today thing.
29:57And now just sort of relaxed
29:59and just hanging.
30:01Alexis Bledel.
30:02You know what I'm saying?
30:03Oh.
30:04A long and sorry grip.
30:06A Gilmore arm.
30:08She's beautiful.
30:09She's got a lot to say.
30:10Yeah, Yale.
30:10And she's going to do
30:11a huge career pivot,
30:12you know?
30:13That's right.
30:13I have a Yale arm.
30:14I have a stealing a boat arm.
30:16Mm-hmm.
30:16Okay, I love that.
30:18That's a perfect answer.
30:18Yeah, you're welcome.
30:19Do you think she would
30:20do another Terminator?
30:21She was pretty worked up
30:22about not wanting
30:23to do this Terminator,
30:25and I don't know
30:26the answer,
30:26but what I will say
30:27is that Mackenzie Davis
30:28was a Terminator
30:29in a film that Linda
30:30wasn't in,
30:31and that was just
30:34really excellent.
30:35Also, Lena Headey
30:36played Sarah Connor
30:37in a Terminator TV show.
30:39Ooh.
30:40And so, I mean, listen,
30:41I don't work in Hollywood,
30:43but if I had to pick,
30:44I would say Mackenzie Davis,
30:46Terminator,
30:46and Lena Headey,
30:48Sarah Connor,
30:49but they have a sexual
30:51relationship,
30:52and it's at my house.
30:53Okay.
30:53Okay, I'm kind of
30:55getting the sense
30:55that Terminators
30:56are like jokers for women,
30:58that every woman,
30:59it's like prestigious
31:00to be one.
31:01Yeah.
31:01Mm-hmm.
31:02Is that okay?
31:03I can't believe
31:04I have not been cast.
31:06That's kind of what
31:06this whole thing is about.
31:07I think this is
31:08a great audition.
31:09I think this is fantastic.
31:10This is my reel,
31:12and you are all here for it.
31:13Thanks for reading with me.
31:15So, we see a slate
31:17for your audition
31:17for Sarah Connor.
31:19And can you slate
31:19from that?
31:20Yeah, yeah, of course.
31:21Oh, yeah, perfect.
31:21Bar, perfect.
31:22Bar, please.
31:23Hi, I'm Cameron Esposito.
31:25I'm 5'4".
31:25I live in Los Angeles,
31:26and I am reading
31:27for Sarah Connor.
31:29Yeah!
31:30Yeah!
31:31Woo!
31:32Woo!
31:32Oh, my God, Cameron.
31:35That was incredible.
31:36Thank you so, so much.
31:39Woo!
31:40Woo!
31:40Woo!
31:40Woo!
31:41Woo!
31:41Woo!
31:41Woo!
31:41Woo!
31:42Woo!
31:45Woo!
31:47Well, we learned a lot
31:49tonight, everyone.
31:50And with that,
31:51our secret meeting
31:52must come to an end.
31:53Let us retreat back
31:54into the shadows
31:55just a little more
31:56enlightened
31:56than we were before.
31:58Thank you,
31:59and good night.
31:59Woo!
32:00Woo!
32:00Woo!
32:01Woo!
32:01Woo!
32:01Woo!
32:02Woo!
32:02Woo!
32:03Woo!
32:03Woo!
32:04Woo!
32:04Woo!
32:04Woo!
32:05Woo!
32:05Woo!
32:06Woo!
32:06Woo!
32:07Woo!
32:07Woo!
32:08Woo!
32:09Woo!
32:09Woo!
32:10Woo!
32:11Woo!
32:11Woo!
32:12Woo!
32:12Woo!
32:13Woo!
32:13Woo!
32:14Woo!
32:14Woo!
32:15Woo!
32:15Woo!
32:16Woo!
32:16Woo!
32:17Woo!
32:17Woo!
32:18Woo!
32:18Woo!
32:19Woo!
32:20Woo!
32:20Woo!
32:21Woo!
32:21Woo!
32:22Woo!
32:22Woo!
32:23Woo!
32:23Woo!
32:24Woo!
32:24Woo!
32:25Woo!
32:25Woo!
32:26Woo!
32:26Woo!
32:27Woo!
32:27Woo!
32:28Woo!
32:28Woo!
32:29Woo!
32:29Woo!
32:30Woo!
32:30Woo!
32:31Woo!
32:31Woo!
32:31Woo!
32:32Woo!
32:32Woo!
32:33Woo!
32:33Woo! Woo!
32:34Woo! Woo!
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