- 13/06/2025
Catégorie
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00Hey everyone, it's been a while since my last video flex, how are you?
00:11I don't give a damn, last time, I showed you around my apartment, my kitchen, and even my bathroom, but this time, my bathrobe is even milkier.
00:19Come with me, let's take a shower because I stink.
00:23Hey, it's Allmeyer from Ritek again, and as usual, I'm going to talk about the liver off because the fee is really low.
00:29Huh, this bastard obviously paid me very badly.
00:31Oh, my little ducks, well his bathroom is beautiful, annoying, well I shower in a tod, guys, when I shower.
00:38So let me introduce you to my two yin and yang baddies.
00:42One for washing, one for drying, and both together to launder my money extremely quickly.
00:48And what is this idiot talking about, do you have any ideas?
00:51Because I didn't follow.
00:53It's a boy.
00:55I furnish.
00:56And speaking of furniture, this is what the rich call a built-in wardrobe.
01:01Well, it's a closet.
01:02No, look, this is dirt.
01:04You should know, you're putting them at a disadvantage.
01:07Nothing like your monthly salary to wipe away this stain.
01:11Right here, I have a first aid kit in case I never injure one of the parts of my body, even though it's fully insured.
01:17It's important, and to feed the insatiable appetite of my two baddies,
01:20I have this basket where I put my dirty clothes but also the butchered bodies of all my enemies.
01:25I invite my enemies into my luxury kitchen.
01:28I kill them with a knife then I cut them up like Marco in SNK.
01:31Then I wash them, dry them and eat them in a salad.
01:34Yum.
01:36Stylish.
01:38And in this second closet, we have a superb steamer.
01:42Note, not streamer.
01:43Those are two different things.
01:44By the way, subscribe, I'm losing a lot of buzz.
01:47But no money, my girl, thanks to my sponsor of the day.
01:51Oh, it's me guys, incredible.
01:55I look so good on the cover.
01:57Maybe it's because I'm drawn.
01:59Fasten your seatbelts and get in the car.
02:01We are flying.
02:02We are flying.
02:05It's going fast.
02:07And right at the back of this closet, there's this little hatch where I hide my coke for my evenings with a manual.
02:12We tear off our nasal septum like in a club.
02:15Worker's very smart.
02:18What?
02:19Do you know what's also magical?
02:22Magic cloud mirror.
02:25I'm sorry, Bridget.
02:27I love you and I admit, the mirror is cool.
02:29Every morning, that's where I see the extent of my bodily slackness.
02:34And the first person who mentions Diet 3 to me, all, them.
02:37And when Snoop Dogg smokes a big Cali joint in the next room, I press this button, and the smoke disappears, like my exes with the divorce money.
02:472,000,005 each time.
03:01Damn, it's.
03:02Still nice when a rich person cries.
03:04I'm still not paid well, so I don't give a damn.
03:08A box in this little corner where I put my utensils like this razor that he should use more often given my disgusting beard or this little saber to give me his thumbs up if I ever earn minimum wage.
03:18And upstairs, that's where all my perfumes are.
03:31It's impressive, right?
03:32Not like your Scorpio boxes that your big tents gave you for Christmas.
03:35Actually, it's a joke from my last video.
03:37By the way, it's really good.
03:39Go watch it but he hates me so he won't put the link in the description.
03:42Jerk.
03:43And right there, we have the Phantom Perfume which, as its name suggests, is a robot.
03:49My little brother wrote a blog post about this launch.
03:52It's so brilliant that every time I watch it, I want to optimize my tax bill but also call my brother.
04:03Oh, bro, look at that champion face.
04:08So, the blood.
04:10Yeah, how are you doing, my friend?
04:13Uh, just one little thing, I'm on video so no mention of the time I sold some crap to a Masta.
04:18Okay.
04:21Lots of money.
04:22Lots of money.
04:23Oh yeah, my friend, I really screwed him that day.
04:26In fact, I was showing subscribers the Phantom which is a robot but which is neither a ghost nor a robot and more like a bottle of perfume.
04:33And I thought of you.
04:35Go ahead.
04:39It's big, man.
04:40He's got a huge one too.
04:48Tell me, what advice would you give to my subscribers who dream of getting rich while lacking empathy?
04:53Do you know what they say?
04:56Yeah, I do all the voices by myself.
04:58The market is a difficult animal to tame.
05:00You have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
05:02Kind of like when you fart in an elevator, you know.
05:05Oh my gosh, it's fantastic.
05:07The guy who improvises the voiceover is really funny.
05:10And obviously he won't be credited as the author.
05:13Right, Kevin?
05:13Yeah, I'll see you on the yacht.
05:15Come on.
05:16Bye bye.
05:17Bye bye.
05:19Everything he touches turns to gold, which is really hard for jerking off.
05:23I won't hide it from you.
05:25Okay, I'm lazy in my bathroom.
05:27The poor and the FDP.
05:29The little baby you see right there is an electric radiator because despite my overconsumption,
05:36I have an ecological conscience.
05:39We're not dogs, after all.
05:40If I were a dog, I'd bark.
05:45And now, it's time for the main attraction that you all wanted to see.
05:49Remember, last time, I had a bathtub, but I realized that my thing was ugly bathrobes
05:55that were more popular.
05:56And right away, a little magic trick.
05:59Is here with the tiling.
06:01The custom-made tiling comes from Italy.
06:08And well, thank goodness I cover this crap with my own.
06:11Otherwise it would be mega canceled.
06:14Of course, everything here comes from Groay.
06:18They really are the number one for fighting hemorrhoids.
06:21And this is Dicky Duck.
06:22It's a duck statue that my subscribers gave me on my brother's live for my birthday.
06:26Are you okay?
06:27You've had your fill of air rims.
06:29You have no idea how much all this means to me.
06:32That a group of deadbeats pooled their savings to lick a rich guy like me.
06:38It's both stupid and touching.
06:40Damn, one thing's for sure, that bastard is squatting in the gym.
06:50Oh, another musical passage.
06:58Oh please, I'm sick of it.
07:00That's Alex, who's a ragdoll, who's settling with me.
07:03We've been here for five hours.
07:04We're really, really sick of it.
07:06Quick, come on.
07:07No, but quicker now.
07:08It's good.
07:09That goat is ugly.
07:10You may remember that hideous, deformed goat.
07:13That gain.
07:14I introduced it to you last time.
07:15Is it me or the more you look at it, the worse it gets.
07:18Well, the goat.
07:21What are you animal rights activists going to do?
07:24Put me in prison?
07:25I just hit this mistake of nature and you're not going to do anything at all.
07:28And this GTE has the unspeakable honor of watching over the gots room.
07:38What the hell is this?
07:42Those are
07:42Some girl's pants.
07:46Which one of them belongs to?
07:48You don't give a damn.
07:51So, let me introduce you to the folder.
07:54I'll show you how it works.
07:58Ah, that's great.
08:00I need a tool to fold my clothes when any normal person can do it without one.
08:05And this is the basketball team t-shirt I had in high school.
08:09Hot ass.
08:10So, let's try folding it.
08:13A little flick to the left.
08:15A little flick to the right.
08:17And we bring it back to the center so you don't know who I'm voting for.
08:20That's not true.
08:21I'm a turbo Macronist.
08:23It's still pretty cool to see a man folding a t-shirt.
08:25And that's why I called it folder.
08:27Incredible, right?
08:29Be careful, friends.
08:31We're going to have to be very vigilant.
08:33This place is the most dangerous in all of western America.
08:36So, make sure to check it out.
08:38This apartment dates back to the 17th century.
08:41Back then, your big old men didn't have bald spots.
08:43People were really stupid back then.
08:45So someone must have fallen.
08:46But I have a solution.
08:48Change the subject completely because what I'm saying is just a series of ineptitudes.
08:51And
08:52A video projector, my friend, was cool in 1980.
09:03Hey!
09:03This video is awesome.
09:11Who came up with this masterpiece?
09:13This bed, obviously king size like the condoms I use every day, is called the vision.
09:19If you remember correctly, last time I said that hey, it's Kevin from flashbacks.
09:25So now I'm going to put a bed in and it's going to be great.
09:27The vision has become a reality.
09:29And for all the young people watching this video, remember one thing.
09:32If you have a dream and you really want to achieve it, visualize it in your head.
09:37All you have to do is take action, work, and want to change the world.
09:41My power is to make verbs appear on the screen.
09:44And that's what we call a demonstration.
09:46It has nothing to do with the way you demonstrate on Saturdays at 2pm in Place de la République,
09:50with people who stink, hold signs and smash everything.
09:53No, no.
09:57Can you concentrate please?
09:58Okay guys, to finish, we have here the 8th wonder of the world.
10:05It was thought up by someone much more eminent than me.
10:08Hold still, I'm going to get my camera.
10:10I'm back guys and I'm with Enki, my very dear cameraman.
10:14What you're going to do Enki is put your head in this hole there while I go down to the living room.
10:18Come on, quicker than that.
10:23Guys, I'm about to reveal to you the biggest mystery in my entire apartment.
10:28And this secret is right here in my living room.
10:32And if you lift your head a little, you can see that Enki is half buried in the wall.
10:39His head, shoulders, and arms are in the living room.
10:42But his F.I.A.C. is still in the bedroom.
10:58Just imagine all the crap you can find in the blue light on the walls of my room.
11:03Plus, the view is pretty nice.
11:05It looks directly onto the Louvre Pyramid.
11:07Oh no, oh, I'm going to fall.
11:10No, it's fine, it's fine.
11:12Sorry, I'm a man dressed as a lady, at least according to my haters.
11:16But to my mom, I'm the most beautiful baby in the world.
11:18He said,
11:21Oh, yes, the end.
11:23I can't take it anymore because we've been in the studio for eight and a half hours and I'm dying.
11:27That's it, quite simply.
11:28I have no more pie, no more skirt, no more voice.
11:31So really shut up.
11:32That's it.
11:32If you could or we don't care about your shitty basement that we'll see next time.
11:35Not with me, obviously.
11:37So really shut up.
11:38Stop.
11:39That's it.
11:39That's it.
11:40Goodbye.
11:41Bye and forever.
11:42B
Recommandations
32:50
|
À suivre
14:00
16:31
12:56
14:56
27:16
26:48
17:37
15:54
10:54
24:10
1:05:54
16:24
6:50
32:03
46:55
14:42
22:37
21:26
12:30
18:30
19:17
15:26