Actress and podcaster Khadeen Ellis, sits down with Sharí Nycole and discusses the joy in juggling marriage, motherhood and her professional purpose.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Let's talk about this work, because you've got four voices.
00:02Yes, ma'am.
00:04So cute.
00:05So your mom, super mom, super wife, you know, you and your husband have done some incredible things together.
00:11Yes.
00:11So balancing that.
00:13Yes.
00:13Which it appears, and I don't think it's capped, that you're doing an incredible job.
00:17But then also making room for your goals and your dreams.
00:21Whether it's collectively with your husband, I mean, or yours.
00:23Yes.
00:24How does this song and dance, and I know you can ask this a ton of times.
00:28Yeah.
00:29But I'm just curious, because I've never been able to ask you, how does that song and dance work?
00:33Yeah.
00:34You know, I think it was Michelle Obama that said at some point that, women, we can have everything, but just not all at the same time.
00:42Yes.
00:42So I've realized that over the course of the past, I want to say 23 years, because that's when I, my husband and I started dating in college around 18,
00:50that I've realized that there's certain moments in my life that certain things took precedence.
00:55Mm-hmm.
00:56And it was okay, though I felt the guilt sometimes, whether if I felt like in a certain moment, my husband had to take a backseat, or my children had to take a backseat, or my career had to take a backseat.
01:05I had to learn to be okay with knowing that I wasn't able to give 100% to every single area of my life, every single time.
01:14But what I did do, in order to kind of make up for that deficit that I felt, was A, give myself a little grace.
01:22And that took some time, because mom guilt, wife guilt, all that stuff, it creeps in.
01:26The guilt of like, Kadeen, you should be at this point in your career, and you're not.
01:29So I had to release myself of that, but then also surrounding myself with a strong village of people who are able to be there in my absence and in those moments, who I can entrust with my children.
01:39My parents live with us. God bless my husband. He moved my parents in about five years ago.
01:45You know, so if I do have to get up and come to Accelerate Her 2025, I can do it easy.
01:50Right there, it's a down to the house, taking care of the little ones.
01:52They're taking care of the babies, and I have a sense of relief that I can work in peace, because who better than me and my husband to then be there with my children?
02:01So yeah, it's definitely a balancing act. I believe that there are some times I'll drop a ball. You know, I'm human. It happens.
02:10But it's about just trying to be really intentional with my days and my time, and I'm still working on that.
02:15Like, I don't have it all figured out. I will never profess to have it figured out.
02:18But I've learned that being intentional with my time and being very deliberate with how I spend it, meaning not necessarily having to take every gig or having to do the hustle.
02:29It's like, what exactly is going to move the needle for me in my career?
02:32When do I need to clock out and say, you know what, I need time with my husband?
02:35You know, when am I going to show up for my children collectively, but also individually?
02:39Because they're four different people.
02:40So I try to be very intentional, like I just had a, you know, a date with my son, Cairo.
02:44He's my second son. And I'm like, well, today's your day. What do you want to do?
02:48And we did the movies, you know, and we got to hang out a little bit after.
02:51So just really being deliberate and intentional about these 365 days that I have in a year.