Vampire Hookers" is a 1970s exploitation horror-comedy that blends eroticism with campy horror. Directed by Cirio H. Santiago, the film doesn't take itself too seriously, offering viewers a mix of absurd humor, exploitation tropes, and gothic vampire thrills. John Carradine stars as the ancient vampire leading the bloodthirsty hookers, adding to the film’s cult status.
With its unapologetic camp and playful take on the vampire genre, "Vampire Hookers" remains a quirky favorite among exploitation and B-movie fans, delivering a unique mix of horror and humor.
With its unapologetic camp and playful take on the vampire genre, "Vampire Hookers" remains a quirky favorite among exploitation and B-movie fans, delivering a unique mix of horror and humor.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00She, meanwhile, with strawberry lips cajoles, and like an asp writhing on burning coals.
00:00:13Moist are my lips, and I can lull to sleep thine ancient conscience in my couches, dear.
00:00:20I am so learned in the amorous heart, that when men I crush to my dreaded heart,
00:00:26or to their mumbling kisses bear my bust, so frail, so bold, so shy, and so robust,
00:00:38that impotent angels damn themselves for me.
00:00:56I am so learned in the beginning, but I love always.
00:01:05I love you.
00:01:08I love you.
00:01:12THE END
00:01:42All my life I've heard about sailors having a girl in every port, and this is the first port I've seen.
00:01:51You know, I don't think you'd know what to do if you got your hands on a girl.
00:01:56I'd know enough to get more than my hands on her.
00:01:59By the time you figured it out, she'd be more worked over than a $2 hooker at a Shriners convention.
00:02:04Oh, I can handle it.
00:02:06I know. You've been handling it all the way from San Francisco.
00:02:09And you'll be dreaming about it all the way back to San Francisco.
00:02:12Why don't we just stow these bags in the barracks and hit the town?
00:02:16I'm with you.
00:02:17Okay.
00:02:20Man, are we lucky to be stationed here?
00:02:22Yes, we are.
00:02:24Would you look at this place? It's fantastic.
00:02:26You know, this is the Paris of the Orient.
00:02:28I bet you could find anything you wanted on this street, just like Eddie said.
00:02:33If Eddie said it, you can bet your bottom dollar on it being here.
00:02:35Oh, yeah. Chief wouldn't steer us wrong, man.
00:02:38Nope. Nope.
00:02:39You know, that old salt's looking out for us.
00:02:41That is?
00:02:41Uh, somebody has to, huh?
00:02:45Hey, Chief!
00:02:46Hey, Eddie!
00:02:48How did you get down here so fast?
00:02:50I just happen to know the right people.
00:02:52Julio here is the best damn cab driver in this city.
00:02:55Julio, this is Tom Buckley and Terry Wayne.
00:02:57Hi, fellas.
00:02:58Listen, you guys need anything around town while you're here.
00:03:02Anything at all, just, oh, just ask me and Julio can find it for you.
00:03:06If Julio can't find it, it can't be found.
00:03:09Now, listen, I know everybody around here and they know me around here.
00:03:12So if you need anything, just ask.
00:03:14But don't ask now.
00:03:16We have to shove off.
00:03:18Where are you off to?
00:03:19Oh, we got some important business to, uh, take care of.
00:03:22Oh, yeah? What's her name?
00:03:24And does she have a sister, huh?
00:03:25Later, fellas. Later.
00:03:27Here. Let's go, Julio.
00:03:30See you later, Eddie.
00:03:31Take it easy.
00:03:32Can you believe that?
00:03:33He's already got something set up.
00:03:36Well, there's nothing to worry about.
00:03:38We're gonna have something set up, too.
00:03:40Faster than a cat can lick its ass.
00:03:42I know how to find women.
00:03:43Is that right?
00:03:44That's right.
00:03:45Then why are we standing over here when all the girls are over there?
00:03:49Whew!
00:03:50This is gonna be easier than falling in a creek.
00:03:52And a whole hell of a lot more fun.
00:03:56Woo-hoo!
00:03:57Woo-hoo!
00:03:58Yeah!
00:04:08Yeah!
00:04:09Bye-bye!
00:04:10Bye-bye!
00:04:10Bye-bye!
00:04:10Bye-bye!
00:04:11Bye-bye!
00:04:13I'm so Amy Lewis and I'll be happy!
00:04:16Bye-bye!
00:04:17Bye-bye!
00:04:20Bye-bye!
00:04:24Bye-bye!
00:04:27Hey Joe, come on, we're having a party.
00:04:55We're going to find girls, but just gotta be neighborly.
00:05:02Let's have a beer with you.
00:05:04You're having a birthday.
00:05:06His birthday.
00:05:08Happy birthday.
00:05:15Now you taste our food.
00:05:17Better yet, this one.
00:05:18What?
00:05:19You take it, this is a balut.
00:05:20A what?
00:05:21A balut.
00:05:22A balut?
00:05:23Yeah, it's good for you.
00:05:24Oh yeah?
00:05:25Oh yeah.
00:05:26It makes you strong in bed.
00:05:27Oh, well then.
00:05:28We'll try some of this then.
00:05:30What do you do, just crack it on the table?
00:05:32Hey, no, no, no.
00:05:33We don't do it that way.
00:05:34What?
00:05:35We do it this way.
00:05:36How do you do it?
00:05:37Look for the big end, see?
00:05:38And just crack it a little.
00:05:40Uh-huh.
00:05:41Then fill it.
00:05:42Yeah.
00:05:43You can see inside, there's some water on it.
00:05:45Uh-huh.
00:05:46And then you put some little salt.
00:05:47A little salt?
00:05:48Uh-huh.
00:05:49And then you sip the water.
00:05:50Sip the water?
00:05:51Yeah.
00:05:55Tastes good, huh?
00:05:56Not bad.
00:05:57Why don't you try it?
00:05:58No.
00:05:59Then what do you do?
00:06:00Then what do you do?
00:06:01Peel it, you know, all the way.
00:06:02Peel it.
00:06:03The rest of the way, huh?
00:06:04All the way.
00:06:05Uh-huh.
00:06:06Peel it on out here.
00:06:07Mm-hmm.
00:06:08A little bit?
00:06:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:10Put some salt, add some salt again.
00:06:12More salt.
00:06:13More salt, huh?
00:06:14You know, just for seasoning and all of that.
00:06:16Mm-hmm.
00:06:17Okay.
00:06:18And eat it.
00:06:19Eat it.
00:06:20All the way.
00:06:21Eat it.
00:06:22A little piece, huh?
00:06:23No, the whole thing.
00:06:24Whole thing?
00:06:25Yeah, swallow it all.
00:06:26Just put the whole thing in.
00:06:27Yeah, yeah.
00:06:28What is it?
00:06:29Balloon.
00:06:30What is balloon?
00:06:31Oh, it's a duck.
00:06:33A what?
00:06:34An unborn duck.
00:06:40It's good.
00:06:41You mean like...
00:06:42Quack.
00:06:43Quack.
00:06:44Duck.
00:06:45Yeah, right.
00:06:46Quack.
00:06:47Quack.
00:06:48Duck.
00:06:49Hey, come back.
00:06:51You want to try it?
00:06:53No.
00:06:54Come on, come on.
00:06:55You want to try it?
00:06:56No.
00:06:57Come on, come on.
00:06:58You want to try it?
00:06:59No, come on.
00:07:00Hey.
00:07:01Hey, Joe.
00:07:12Well, you're the one with the girl on your lap.
00:07:15Well, how was I supposed to know what she was?
00:07:17Or he.
00:07:18Or it.
00:07:21That's funny.
00:07:22Real funny.
00:07:23Got any more bright ideas?
00:07:26Uh, well, let's see.
00:07:28Uh...
00:07:29No, forget about it.
00:07:30I don't even want to hear.
00:07:31No, no, no, no, no.
00:07:32Come here, come here, come here.
00:07:33Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:07:34The only thing I was going to say
00:07:36is if the first oldest rule in the book doesn't work out,
00:07:40all you do is turn to the second oldest rule in the book.
00:07:43Yeah, what's that?
00:07:45Want a date?
00:07:50Meet the second oldest rule in the book.
00:07:53Hi, darling.
00:07:54How you doing tonight, honey?
00:07:56Oh, sweetie pie, how are you?
00:07:58Oh, yeah.
00:08:00This looks like a real thing.
00:08:02Yeah, I think this is the real thing.
00:08:04Uh-huh.
00:08:05All right.
00:08:06Here we go.
00:08:08This way?
00:08:11You wait here.
00:08:12We'll tell our friend we need her apartment.
00:08:19Told you I'd get us some action, huh?
00:08:32Come on, fellas.
00:08:33Get in.
00:08:41Come on, fellas.
00:08:42Get in.
00:09:02You want to know, come on.
00:09:03Get in.
00:09:04Come on.
00:09:05Come on.
00:09:06Come on.
00:09:11Come on, let's go, let's go.
00:09:12Come on.
00:09:21Come on.
00:09:23Come on, let's go.
00:09:24Come on.
00:09:26What's the matter, man?
00:09:28Come on.
00:09:30Come on, let's go, let's go.
00:09:32Tell me, Julio,
00:09:34what's the question you get asked the most?
00:09:36What question do I get asked the most?
00:09:38Yeah. Can you drink the water?
00:09:40Sure, sure you can drink the water.
00:09:42You can also drink the rum.
00:09:44We should get your bundle out quicker than the water.
00:09:48You can also drink
00:09:50tuba. We should make here
00:09:52out of palm trees.
00:09:54Tuba.
00:09:56Pound trees. Tuba.
00:09:58Yeah, they call it that because, fellas,
00:10:00one drink of that and you see stars and stripes
00:10:02forever.
00:10:10My God.
00:10:24Hey, good-looking, can I buy a drink?
00:10:30Mark.
00:10:32Mark, if you can get me a girl like that.
00:10:36What's it worth to you?
00:10:38Everything I got.
00:10:40Put it on the table.
00:10:42Here you go.
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:46I saw first.
00:10:48Yeah, I'm already paying.
00:10:50I'd like you to meet my friend Cherry,
00:10:52Eddie Taylor.
00:10:54It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:10:56Shall we go?
00:10:57Shall we go?
00:11:00Well, she was looking at me.
00:11:02Look at me all night.
00:11:04Hey. Hey.
00:11:05Hey.
00:11:06Take your hands over him.
00:11:08Take my hand.
00:11:09Stop.
00:11:10Come on.
00:11:11Whoa.
00:11:12Hey.
00:11:13Hey.
00:11:14Don't be right here.
00:11:16Now,
00:11:18ав examples here.
00:11:19Ah.
00:11:22You are only doing the police doing that.
00:11:23Don't die!
00:11:50You know, it gives me the creeps going past the cemetery.
00:11:53We're not going fast.
00:11:56No?
00:11:57Are we going to turn off someplace?
00:12:00We go in?
00:12:01We go in?
00:12:02You mean we're going to do it in a cemetery?
00:12:05This is where I live.
00:12:07You live here?
00:12:08Oh, you're the caretaker or something.
00:12:11Or your father's the caretaker?
00:12:14My father's dead.
00:12:16And you wanted to be close to him?
00:12:19People live where they have to live.
00:12:21Yeah, but honey, nobody has to live in a cemetery.
00:12:24People live in cardboard boxes under railroad bridges.
00:12:28And they live on benches in the park.
00:12:31I knew a guy once who lived in 54 Plymouth.
00:12:33Yeah, I've done it in 1954 Plymouth.
00:12:35But never in a cemetery.
00:12:37You'll never know it's a cemetery once you get inside.
00:12:50Inside?
00:12:50A red-blooded man like yourself couldn't be afraid of the dead.
00:12:58Hey, friend, do me a favor.
00:13:15Don't go anywhere, okay?
00:13:16Don't worry.
00:13:18I'll take good care of you.
00:13:20I'll take good care of you.
00:13:50I don't believe this.
00:14:06Not in a coffin.
00:14:09Coffins are for being laid to rest.
00:14:12Not for being laid.
00:14:14Please, I want to be with you.
00:14:29Oh, man, that's something.
00:14:40God only knows what the caretaker would say if he found out that somebody was living down there.
00:14:45No one will find out tonight.
00:14:53Hey, listen, baby, I got a little money.
00:14:55Not a lot, mind you.
00:14:56But you just got to get yourself an apartment.
00:14:59You learn to like it here.
00:15:01How the hell with the caretaker.
00:15:07You better pray that the health department doesn't find out about this.
00:15:11I'm not very good at praying.
00:15:13I'm getting better at it all the time, baby.
00:15:15I'm getting better at it.
00:15:16I'm getting better.
00:15:17Okay.
00:15:18I'm getting better.
00:15:19I'm getting better.
00:15:19Let's go.
00:15:49Let's go.
00:16:19Let's go.
00:16:31Master!
00:16:33Damnation.
00:16:35These things only happen when I'm decently dressed.
00:16:39A man comes.
00:16:41I hope it's a red-blooded American this time.
00:16:49You know, you sure couldn't get a room like this at the Holiday Inn.
00:16:52Cherish?
00:17:05Hello?
00:17:07I'm coming, darling.
00:17:10Hey, uh...
00:17:11Don't go disappearing like that, uh...
00:17:13Okay?
00:17:14Take your clothes off for me.
00:17:15Where the hell did she go?
00:17:21Phew.
00:17:33Don't be afraid, my darling.
00:17:35Do you like the way I look?
00:17:47Yeah.
00:17:48Most beautiful.
00:17:50Why don't we just do it and let me get the hell out of here, okay?
00:17:54I thought you wanted you to stay with me.
00:17:56Well, maybe we ought to go to a nice hotel.
00:18:00What do you say?
00:18:01Stay with me.
00:18:03Uh, well, don't take this personal now.
00:18:06Ah, splendid.
00:18:08A red-blooded American.
00:18:09What the hell is this?
00:18:12That, my friend, is not the question.
00:18:15To be or not to be, that is the question.
00:18:18To die.
00:18:20To sleep.
00:18:21No more.
00:18:22And by a sleep to say we end the heartache
00:18:25and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is aired to.
00:18:29It is a consummation devoutly to be wished.
00:18:32Hmph.
00:18:33You're out of your mind, pal.
00:18:34It is time for you to shuffle off your mortal coil.
00:18:39You stop right there, or I'll break your china doll in half.
00:18:46Back.
00:18:49Ah!
00:18:57He's probably still shacked up with that oriental chick.
00:19:00Well, the least he could have done
00:19:01is brought her to the brig to cheer us up a little.
00:19:05We were only in there a week.
00:19:07He's not going to let go of that china doll
00:19:09until his liberty's up.
00:19:10All he had was a week.
00:19:11A better week than we had,
00:19:13and you can bet your boots on that one.
00:19:16Come lovely and soothing death,
00:19:19undulate round the world,
00:19:21serenely arriving,
00:19:23arriving in the day,
00:19:26in the night.
00:19:27To all.
00:19:32To each.
00:19:35Walt Whitman must have been a vampire.
00:19:38Only a vampire would have written so much about the night,
00:19:42about death.
00:19:46Walk out with me,
00:19:48toward the unknown region.
00:19:49All I know is I haven't had a suntan in 136 years.
00:19:55Has it been that long since we came to this place?
00:19:58I have no complaints.
00:20:00We are safe here,
00:20:01the blood supply is high,
00:20:03and the competition is pretty low.
00:20:05That's true.
00:20:07Go to bed.
00:20:08I like sleeping here.
00:20:12It's nice and warm.
00:20:14Go to bed.
00:20:15Go to bed.
00:20:15Go to bed.
00:20:34Go to bed.
00:20:41Go to bed.
00:20:45Oh, my God.
00:21:15I'm telling you, Eddie would not have gotten himself on that list.
00:21:26Well, he's due back from Liberty last night.
00:21:29Maybe something happened to him.
00:21:30Well, something's gonna happen to him as soon as we find him.
00:21:39He was always bragging.
00:21:41He was so experienced.
00:21:43Experience has nothing to do with a girl hitting you over the head,
00:21:45taking your money, and leaving you in the alley.
00:21:48No, man.
00:21:50That girl couldn't have hurt anybody if her life depended on it.
00:21:54That cab driver could have.
00:21:55How come we can't find him around here anyway?
00:21:57How am I supposed to know?
00:21:59But I'll tell you one thing.
00:22:00I'm not going back to base until we get to the bottom of this.
00:22:02Well, then we'll be on that list right next to Eddie.
00:22:05We just have to be a little bit more forceful about getting some answers.
00:22:07forceful.
00:22:19Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, guys.
00:22:22Can we talk this over?
00:22:23Now, wait, wait, wait.
00:22:24Now, come on.
00:22:25Come on.
00:22:26We're not looking for problems.
00:22:27Come on.
00:22:27Get out.
00:22:28Get out.
00:22:28Get out.
00:23:58Oh, come on, man.
00:24:06We've been everywhere.
00:24:08We've been to the bar, nearly got killed there.
00:24:10Been to the cab company.
00:24:12Walked every damn street.
00:24:15Just a couple more places, all right?
00:24:17Oh, man.
00:24:18Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:24:31That's her.
00:24:34Hey, hold on.
00:24:35Hey, hey, hey.
00:24:36Hey, hey, hey, no.
00:24:39Come on.
00:24:39Come on.
00:24:43Looking for a little action?
00:24:49Follow that cab.
00:24:50Oh, I'm not getting mixed up in anything.
00:24:52No, he's a friend of ours.
00:24:53He left his wallet at the base.
00:24:54We're just bringing it to him.
00:24:55He's not going to have enough money to pay his driver.
00:24:57Come on.
00:24:58Come on.
00:25:03No.
00:25:03not so fast well how do you expect me to catch him we don't want you to catch him
00:25:31yeah well we want to be a surprise well listen i don't want to get mixed up in anything
00:25:35there's nothing to get mixed up in
00:25:37a graveyard
00:25:58i'm not going in in the graveyard we gotta follow them i don't go into graveyards even in the
00:26:08daytime i had a very bad experience in a graveyard when i was a kid so that's texas courage no it
00:26:15isn't that's a psychological problem a hell of a buddy you turned out to be hey listen you don't
00:26:21understand what this was man i was only about seven or eight years old see i was coming back
00:26:26from the store and this big old dog starts chasing me you know what i mean there's only one place i
00:26:31could hide is in this graveyard hey at least wish me luck good luck hey the meter's running
00:26:38oh man this was the biggest damn old dog you ever seen in your life had teeth the size of fence posts
00:26:47you know
00:26:49you know
00:26:53you
00:26:55you
00:26:57you
00:26:59you
00:27:01you
00:27:05you
00:27:07you
00:27:09Oh, my God.
00:27:39Oh, my God.
00:28:09Oh, my God.
00:28:39Oh, my God.
00:29:09Oh, my God.
00:29:39Oh, my God.
00:30:09I'm so sick and tired of these bloody Marys.
00:30:24You know, I could go for some good scotch and water.
00:30:45Blood is thicker than water.
00:30:51Pavo.
00:30:51Drink.
00:31:00Drink.
00:31:01Drink.
00:31:01You'll never become a vampire.
00:31:11Give him time.
00:31:13What's the matter, Pavel?
00:31:25What's the matter, Pavel?
00:31:39It's all right.
00:31:45You'll be a vampire someday.
00:31:47Soon, Pavel.
00:31:48Soon.
00:31:49Soon, Pavel.
00:31:51Soon.
00:31:52Pavel, what fangs?
00:31:57Oh.
00:31:58I know.
00:32:00Someday, Pavel.
00:32:03Someday.
00:32:04There's someone here.
00:32:18There's someone here.
00:32:19Sure, as soon as we are having a good time.
00:32:22We'll have a better time after we catch him.
00:32:24I'm leaving.
00:32:46I didn't mean it.
00:32:51I didn't mean it.
00:32:53I didn't mean it.
00:32:55Terry!
00:32:56Just like that.
00:32:57Terry!
00:32:58Tom!
00:32:59Hurry!
00:33:00I can't go in there.
00:33:01Hey, hey, we can get out of here.
00:33:02I gotta help him.
00:33:03Well, look.
00:33:04He's the one who wanted to go in.
00:33:05He's my buddy.
00:33:06Wait for me.
00:33:07Yeah, sure.
00:33:08Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:33:09Where are you going?
00:33:10Terry!
00:33:11Tom!
00:33:12Terry!
00:33:13Hey!
00:33:14Hey!
00:33:15Hey!
00:33:16Hey!
00:33:17Hey!
00:33:18Hey!
00:33:19Hey!
00:33:20Hey!
00:33:21Hey!
00:33:22Hey!
00:33:23Hey!
00:33:24Hey!
00:33:25Hey!
00:33:26Hey!
00:33:27Hey!
00:33:28Hey!
00:33:29Hey!
00:33:30Hey!
00:33:31Hey!
00:33:32Help me!
00:33:35Let me go!
00:33:36Let me go!
00:33:37I didn't see anything!
00:33:44It's me!
00:33:45I'm here!
00:33:46Good!
00:33:47Now we can kill us both!
00:33:50He mustn't get away!
00:33:53How can he get away?
00:33:54Power never lets anybody get away!
00:33:57To get a good look at him, he's gonna kill ten of us!
00:34:00They're vampires! They killed Eddie and they drank his blood!
00:34:03A little rich for my taste.
00:34:05Who? Who's there?
00:34:06Only the dead.
00:34:09I'm Marcy.
00:34:11Susie.
00:34:13I am Cherish.
00:34:14I am Richmond Reed.
00:34:17A name which you all know by sight very well, but which no one can speak and no one can spell.
00:34:22What?
00:34:24Doesn't anyone understand poetry anymore?
00:34:27I'm just an aviation fire control technician.
00:34:31That was written by Robert Southey.
00:34:33He died in 1843.
00:34:35I died in 1847.
00:34:38I outlived the pompous bastard.
00:34:41You, uh, died in...
00:34:441847.
00:34:47He was born in 1775.
00:34:49Well, that would make you, uh, vampire.
00:34:59We are all vampires.
00:35:01We're all dead.
00:35:03And we don't like you very much.
00:35:05Oh, die now.
00:35:09Stop being afraid.
00:35:12We won't tell anyone.
00:35:13Just let us go, huh?
00:35:15You joined the Navy to see the world.
00:35:17Yeah, this world, not the next one.
00:35:19Where's your sense of adventure?
00:35:21This is a moment to treasure.
00:35:24Death comes once in a lifetime.
00:35:27This is not death.
00:35:28It's murder.
00:35:29It's not murder.
00:35:31It's dinner.
00:35:46The sun!
00:35:51Back inside.
00:35:53Maybe if I stayed out just this long every morning,
00:36:05I could get at least a little tan.
00:36:07What I want is a little sailor.
00:36:09Your adventure must wait.
00:36:34I shall remember while the light lives yet.
00:36:37And in the night time,
00:36:40I shall not forget.
00:36:50We gotta tell somebody about this.
00:36:54We gotta get out of here.
00:36:56We gotta tell the authorities.
00:36:59What authorities?
00:37:01I don't know,
00:37:01but that's what you always hear people saying,
00:37:03that we gotta report this to the authorities.
00:37:04Well, they're gonna throw us right back in the brig
00:37:06for going off limits.
00:37:07Terry, they're killing guys.
00:37:09They killed Eddie.
00:37:10As long as they didn't kill us.
00:37:12And one chance is all I plan to give them.
00:37:14Listen, we report this to the authorities.
00:37:16First thing they're gonna do
00:37:17is drag us back out here.
00:37:19So now, if you want to report it,
00:37:21you go right ahead.
00:37:22Leave me out.
00:37:23Terry, they ain't gonna believe just one witness.
00:37:26You think they're gonna believe vampires?
00:37:28Vampires?
00:37:28Vampire, you saw a vampire.
00:37:40You're the first ones in 14 years
00:37:43who got drunk enough to see a vampire.
00:37:45Chief, we weren't drunk.
00:37:46Yeah.
00:37:48The vampire was drunk.
00:37:50Yes, Chief, he was.
00:37:51They all were.
00:37:53All of them?
00:37:54All four of them, sir.
00:37:56The man and the three girls.
00:37:57And the big ugly guy, probably.
00:38:01You guys been drinking that too, but haven't you?
00:38:03Chief, vampires are luring men out to that cemetery.
00:38:05Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38:07And next you'll see Rodan
00:38:08rising out of the South China Sea.
00:38:10Chief, that cemetery is full of dead bodies.
00:38:14Naturally.
00:38:16Get out of here.
00:38:18Nobody believed the Wright brothers either.
00:38:22Oh, the Wright brothers were there too, huh?
00:38:25Just flying over the tombstones.
00:38:27Vampires, my ass.
00:38:30A blood-sucking ghost or body of a dead person
00:38:33believed to come from the grave by night
00:38:35and suck the blood of the living.
00:38:39Any member of a South American family...
00:38:42Any member of a South American family?
00:38:44Small bats.
00:38:46They're highly destructive to cattle.
00:38:48Oh, I'm going back to sleep.
00:38:49No, wait.
00:38:50Wait a minute, Wayne.
00:38:50Listen to this.
00:38:52The legends do not reveal
00:38:54how the corpse gets out of the grave
00:38:56and into the locked houses to attack people.
00:38:58A supernatural being returned from the dead
00:39:00and at the same time a material being.
00:39:04All the vampire's powers and actions
00:39:06exist for only one purpose.
00:39:08To satisfy his lust for human blood.
00:39:13What the hell is this?
00:39:14Boy Scout camp?
00:39:16You want to tell ghost stories,
00:39:17go find a tent.
00:39:18Your life could depend on this.
00:39:19So could yours
00:39:20if you don't let us get some sleep.
00:39:22I saw them.
00:39:23I saw a guy hanging by a rack
00:39:24with his throat cut
00:39:25and they were drinking his blood.
00:39:26If you don't shut up,
00:39:27them vampires will go out to your blood
00:39:29with a mob.
00:39:29Well, right.
00:39:31I saw you lying about that.
00:39:31All right.
00:39:45I saw you lying.
00:39:46I saw you lying.
00:39:47I saw you lying.
00:39:48I saw you lying.
00:39:48uh
00:40:18Hey, wait a minute.
00:40:48Come on.
00:41:18Come on.
00:41:48Come on.
00:42:18Come on.
00:42:24I trust you slept well.
00:42:28I've got to be going.
00:42:30Oh, you stay.
00:42:31We have guests so seldom.
00:42:32We'd love to have you for dinner.
00:42:34Maybe some other time.
00:42:37Please do stay with us.
00:42:40Unbidden guests are welcome when they're gone.
00:42:44And Shakespeare was a man who knew about unwelcome guests.
00:42:46Can I have my clothes back?
00:42:49No.
00:42:50They might get damaged.
00:42:52You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?
00:42:54They might fit some needy person after you're gone.
00:42:58Gone?
00:42:59But not forgotten.
00:43:00At least let us have something to remember.
00:43:06You're so human.
00:43:08A girl can have a good time once in a while.
00:43:11We won't let him get away.
00:43:13A bird in a hand is worth its weight in gold.
00:43:17We won't let him out of our hands.
00:43:20I don't mind being a vampire, but this is like being a nun.
00:43:25Bob will watch.
00:43:26One night with them, he'll kill you anyway.
00:43:36I've got to get out of here.
00:43:43First thing in the morning.
00:43:44He's too scared to go AWOL.
00:43:57Well, he wasn't too scared to leave without a pass.
00:44:00Look, just give me your roll call to find him.
00:44:06Okay, you've got till tomorrow.
00:44:08There you go.
00:44:14Take me to the market.
00:44:44You've got to the market.
00:45:15There must be something else besides vodka that will mix with blood.
00:45:22You think that after all these centuries, the march of civilization would have marched across one other product that mixes with blood?
00:45:31Parvo.
00:45:33If you want to get rich, find something that will keep its own flavor without affecting the flavor of the blood.
00:45:39Though I look old, yet I'm strong and lusty.
00:45:46For in my youth, I never did apply hot and rebellious liquors in my blood.
00:45:54Shakespeare was a vampire.
00:45:56Who?
00:45:56Who?
00:45:57Who?
00:45:58Shakespeare.
00:45:58Shakespeare.
00:45:58Here we go.
00:46:28Don't go anywhere.
00:46:37That's the 200th time you told me not to go anywhere. I'm not going anywhere.
00:46:42I've always been a little scared at a graveyard.
00:46:45That's the 300th time you told me that.
00:46:47I couldn't have been five or six years old, see?
00:46:50Then what the hell are you doing coming here in the middle of the night?
00:46:54I'm looking for somebody.
00:46:57If they're here, my friend, they'll be here in the morning.
00:47:02Yeah.
00:47:02I'm looking for somebody.
00:47:08I'm looking for somebody.
00:47:14I'm looking for somebody.
00:47:16This damn door hadn't been open in 50 years.
00:47:46Who's turn is it?
00:48:10Ha!
00:48:16Ha!
00:48:20Ha!
00:48:24Bravo!
00:48:28Bravo!
00:48:36I have trodden the winepress alone and of the people there was none with me.
00:48:42I will tread them in mine anger and trample them in my fury.
00:48:49Their blood shall be sprinkled upon my garments and I will stain all my raiment.
00:48:54Tell the girls if they plan to spend the night in there, spread a little dirt on the bed.
00:49:16Get the blood out of that rat before it evaporates.
00:49:24Hey, you got any tools or anything?
00:49:26Yeah.
00:49:27Tire, iron, big screwdriver, something like that?
00:49:29Yeah, yeah.
00:49:31There you go.
00:49:50Whose turn is it?
00:49:52Not mine.
00:49:53Not mine.
00:49:54Not mine.
00:49:55Not mine.
00:49:56Not mine.
00:50:07Master.
00:50:09Master.
00:50:10Man, come back.
00:50:12Open door.
00:50:13What the devil are you babbling about?
00:50:15Bavo, take away.
00:50:16Bavo, take away.
00:50:17Bavo, take away.
00:50:18You are the single most incoherent specimen of humanity it's ever been my misfortune to encounter.
00:50:33Why in my day we had servants who...
00:50:38What's that smell?
00:50:39It smells like pizza.
00:50:41Did someone send out for pizza?
00:50:43It's garlic!
00:50:44Oh!
00:50:45Oh!
00:50:46Oh!
00:50:47No!
00:50:48No!
00:50:49Garlic!
00:50:50No!
00:50:51Don't you read Shakespeare, you imbecile?
00:50:53Eat no onions or garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath.
00:50:58Shakespeare was a vampire.
00:51:02What else have you got there?
00:51:11Cover them up!
00:51:12Cover them up!
00:51:13Cover them up, you don't!
00:51:23Take those away.
00:51:26Take the crosses away.
00:51:28Take the garlic away and take yourself away.
00:51:32I shall take care of our visitor.
00:51:41If you don't see him, no.
00:51:42Next time of the line.
00:51:43Thanks, Peter.
00:51:44Annoyed.
00:51:46Like them?
00:51:47If you kill him.
00:51:48John очень picky but you can't go Esp camera.
00:51:50I have enough誰 auge.
00:51:51There they are!
00:51:52Death of the type in the nuit up to get a pet to get some sick.
00:51:53Now coming out with a pet can saying,
00:51:54all...
00:51:55You're a thief.
00:51:56I
00:52:26Come on, let's get out of here
00:52:30Come on, let's go
00:52:33You're not going anywhere, are you, buddy?
00:52:56Now what in the hell am I going to do?
00:53:21There's got to be somebody who can help me
00:53:26No, we've already been out there once
00:53:38And we're not going out there again
00:53:42But they killed a taxi driver
00:53:44There's a whole bunch of vampires out there
00:53:47Why can't you sailors just have a good time
00:53:50Instead of getting drunk and bothering us with your crazy ideas
00:53:54You've got to do something
00:53:55All right, I'll send out a man tomorrow
00:53:58Tomorrow?
00:54:00That's going to be too late
00:54:02My buddy's out there
00:54:04Sorry, that's the best I can do
00:54:06Well, what about this guy Julio?
00:54:07Maybe he knows something
00:54:08Why don't you pick him up for questioning?
00:54:11We have no reason to do that
00:54:12Well, if you won't do it
00:54:15Could you tell me where I could find him?
00:54:17Well, you can find him most any night down on Harrison Street
00:54:22He works the graveyard shift
00:54:25Graveyard shift?
00:54:30I might have known
00:54:32Hey, say, you know a cab driver named Julio?
00:54:59You know where I could...
00:55:00Yeah, in here
00:55:02Yeah, in here
00:55:03In here?
00:55:05I've been looking for you
00:55:17I've never seen you before in my life
00:55:19Hey, don't give me that
00:55:20You know me
00:55:21They're my two buddies, too
00:55:23Eddie Taylor and Tom Buckley
00:55:25Oh, oh yeah, now I remember
00:55:27How'd you find me?
00:55:29Cops told me where you hung out
00:55:31Cops?
00:55:32What are you going to the cops for?
00:55:34Because there's an awful lot of crazy stuff going on out at that cemetery
00:55:37One of my buddies is dead
00:55:39One of my buddies is dead and another one could be
00:55:41People out there at that graveyard are vampires
00:55:44I think you've been drinking a little too much
00:55:47That girl Cherish, she's a vampire
00:55:50Oh, yeah?
00:55:51The last time I saw her, it wasn't blood
00:55:52She was sucking
00:55:53They're all vampires
00:55:54And somebody's got to go out there and help me stop
00:55:56Okay, okay, sailor
00:55:58It'll make you feel better
00:55:59I'm going to the graveyard with you
00:56:01You don't have to go running to the cops
00:56:03Julio can help you out
00:56:05There aren't really any vampires in that cemetery
00:56:07You'll see
00:56:08I don't know
00:56:09They seemed awful real to me
00:56:10I was just your imagination
00:56:11Graveyard's going to be real scary
00:56:13Oh, you don't have to tell me that
00:56:15Ha!
00:56:16I spent a night in a graveyard once
00:56:18It was the worst night of my life
00:56:19Oh, yeah?
00:56:20Yeah
00:56:20See, I was coming home from the store
00:56:22This big damn dog starts chasing
00:56:25Whose turn is it?
00:56:49When are we going to kill him?
00:56:56We need some fresh blood
00:56:58We can't kill him when he's asleep
00:57:00Sure we can
00:57:01He takes all the enjoyment out of it when they're asleep
00:57:04They never scream
00:57:05I miss that human cry of terror
00:57:08When they see grim death looming above their gizzard
00:57:11Look
00:57:13And flash the living lightning from his eyes
00:57:17And cries of horror rend the affrighted sky
00:57:20Let's kill him now and get it over with
00:57:23I don't think I can stand the noise
00:57:25As soon as he wakes up
00:57:27Whose turn is it?
00:57:33The worm
00:57:34Why don't you go and wait for us?
00:57:39We'll be right there
00:57:40Well, I completely lost track of whose turn it was
00:57:43Now
00:57:50And try not to waste any
00:57:54Master
00:58:05Sailor
00:58:06Back again
00:58:07In taxi
00:58:08So that's why I'm scared of graveyards
00:58:15Yeah, that
00:58:17Stiff grabbed a hold of me like a grizzly bear
00:58:21Took me nearly an hour to get out of that graveyard
00:58:23I think it worked me for life
00:58:27You ever been scared like that, Julio?
00:58:32Julio?
00:58:32Julio?
00:58:32Julio?
00:58:33Julio?
00:58:34Julio?
00:58:35Julio?
00:58:36Julio?
00:58:37Julio?
00:58:38Julio?
00:58:39Julio?
00:58:40Julio?
00:58:41Julio?
00:58:42Julio?
00:58:43Julio?
00:58:44Julio?
00:58:45Julio?
00:58:46Julio?
00:58:47Julio?
00:58:48Julio?
00:58:49Julio?
00:58:50Julio?
00:58:51Julio?
00:58:52Julio?
00:58:53Julio?
00:58:54Julio?
00:58:55Julio?
00:58:56Julio?
00:58:57Julio?
00:58:58Julio?
00:58:59Julio?
00:59:00Julio?
00:59:01Julio?
00:59:02Oh, I see you have reconsidered our dinner invitation.
00:59:22Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:59:52Back!
01:00:16Back!
01:00:18Get on the back!
01:00:22Ha!
01:00:23Ha!
01:00:24Ha!
01:00:25Ha!
01:00:26Ha!
01:00:27Ha!
01:00:28Ha!
01:00:29Ha!
01:00:30Ha!
01:00:31Ha!
01:00:32Ha!
01:00:33Ha!
01:00:34Ha!
01:00:35Ha!
01:00:36Ha!
01:00:37Ha!
01:00:39Right now.
01:01:09All right, where's what are you done with
01:01:39Oh
01:01:46Oh
01:01:48Oh
01:01:52Oh
01:01:58Oh
01:02:00Oh
01:02:02Oh
01:02:04Oh
01:02:17Oh
01:02:18It's so long
01:02:20I'm dying
01:02:22And you have survived
01:02:25Only to be destroyed
01:02:28By a sailor
01:02:30Tom
01:02:35Tom
01:02:36Tom
01:03:00Help
01:03:05Help
01:03:08Wait
01:03:09I never thought I'd see you again
01:03:10I never thought I'd see anything again
01:03:14Wait
01:03:15I don't have to close
01:03:17Close
01:03:19Here
01:03:22Put that on
01:03:24Who cares about closer time like this
01:03:26Let's just get out of here
01:03:28All right
01:03:49Julio
01:03:56Julio
01:03:57Julio
01:04:00Boy am I glad to see you
01:04:02You're a life saver
01:04:04Julio
01:04:09Julio
01:04:10Julio
01:04:11Julio
01:04:12Boy am I glad to see you
01:04:13You're a lifesaver
01:04:14Julio
01:04:15Julio
01:04:16Julio
01:04:17Julio
01:04:18Julio
01:04:20Let's get out of here!
01:04:26Wake! Wake! Wake!
01:04:30Wake! Wake!
01:04:49Don't get hooked by a hooker when you sail in southern seas
01:04:59Even though she's a looker, she can bring you to your knees
01:05:06She'll take you to the graveyard and try to ease your fears
01:05:13But her friends out in the graveyard have been dead for a hundred years
01:05:20They're vampire huggers
01:05:23Yeah, they're vampire huggers
01:05:26Oh, they're vampire huggers
01:05:29And blood is not all they suck
01:05:33These girls are delusions
01:05:41They slit throats from ear to ear
01:05:45They want you for transfusions
01:05:48They'll never shed a tear
01:05:52They mix real bloody marries
01:05:55And have a grand old time
01:05:58But you won't find out if you visit
01:06:01That your life's not worth a dime
01:06:05To those vampire huggers
01:06:08Yeah, they're vampire huggers
01:06:11Oh, they're vampire huggers
01:06:14And blood is not all they suck
01:06:18So, if you meet a hooker
01:06:26And she seems so sweet and kind
01:06:30Be careful if you date her
01:06:33Your life may be on the line
01:06:36They're beautiful and sultry
01:06:40But they're not what you expect
01:06:43You'll be begging them for mercy
01:06:46As they bite you with the neck
01:06:49Because they're vampire huggers
01:06:53Yeah, they're vampire huggers
01:06:56Oh, they're vampire huggers
01:06:59And blood is not all they suck
01:07:02Blood is not all they suck
01:07:06Blood is not all they suck