Aspiring college cheerleader Cassie Stratford consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. It has an unforeseen side effect - she starts to grow and grow and grow. Look at the size of those pom poms!
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Let's go! Be friends! Let's go! Let's go fuck!
00:00:21Our next victim is Cassie Shratford?
00:00:33Hi, Brittany. Do I know you?
00:00:36You are my guide for freshman orientation, and I'm pledging Zeta Moo.
00:00:40Oh, that's right. You're the legacy.
00:00:45Too bad your Zeta mommy's not here to help you now.
00:00:48This is Cheer Squad. If you want it, come down and earn it.
00:00:52Go, get him.
00:00:55Hit it!
00:00:57Five, six, seven, eight, one, two, shake that ass bitch.
00:01:07Like that?
00:01:08Yeah!
00:01:10Woo! Cheer.
00:01:11Two, three, hike.
00:01:13Try not to hurt yourself.
00:01:19What kind of happens?
00:01:21Next!
00:01:25Brittany, please give me another chance. I swear I'll do anything.
00:01:28Oh, you really shouldn't have said that.
00:01:36The physics lab will be having a freshman mixer this Thursday at 6.30 at the quad.
00:01:45Hey!
00:01:46Yo-ho!
00:01:47How were the tryouts?
00:01:51You know that Hindenburg footage where people jump to their deaths to avoid a hellfire burning hydrogen?
00:01:56That bad, huh?
00:01:57Worse.
00:01:59Yeah, well, screw them.
00:02:00You don't understand.
00:02:01My mom was captain of the Cheer Squad three years running and president of her sorority.
00:02:06She has expectations.
00:02:08Okay, no offense, but screw her, too.
00:02:11Okay, thank you for coming on such short notice, Mr. Gray.
00:02:13Zemchem poured a ton of money into this project, Doc.
00:02:16I know.
00:02:16If you've made a breakthrough, I need to know about a punch hole.
00:02:18Just tell me one thing.
00:02:19Yeah?
00:02:19Can it fix this?
00:02:21I don't understand.
00:02:22What's the biggest problem with plastic surgery, Doc?
00:02:24Well, sometimes patients get lost.
00:02:25Wrong!
00:02:26It's goddamn turkey neck!
00:02:29Today's lecture by Dr.
00:02:30These middle-aged broads come out of facelift surgery,
00:02:32and their throats still look like my Uncle Bob's scrotum!
00:02:35Well, that's an interesting picture.
00:02:40Kyle.
00:02:40Kyle.
00:02:41Cassie.
00:02:42This is Cal Brooks, Cassie Stratford, my assistants,
00:02:46and this is Mr. Gray, rep from Zemchem.
00:02:49All right.
00:02:50Well, he's just a kid.
00:02:51I know.
00:02:51Well, I'm a kid with a master's in biochemistry.
00:02:54Listen, kid, degrees don't mean a squatting shit to me.
00:02:57Sure as hell I'm going to get you a job.
00:02:59What I want is results.
00:03:00Okay, well, take a look, then.
00:03:02Just right over here.
00:03:03This was taken three days ago.
00:03:05Right before we administered the Renew compound.
00:03:07Okay, it's a rat.
00:03:09Well, actually, sir, it's a mess.
00:03:10Whatever.
00:03:11So what?
00:03:16You saying Renew did this?
00:03:18The compound was created to rejuvenate aging epidermal cells.
00:03:22But it's gone so beyond that.
00:03:23Yeah, and here's the really cool part.
00:03:26Come here.
00:03:27Just one second.
00:03:29See, Renew is actually morphing chromosomes.
00:03:33It's aiding replication, so only the healthiest cells undergo mitosis.
00:03:36In other words, it turns ugly and acute.
00:03:41I have one question.
00:03:43Will it work on titties?
00:03:44Oh, we're a long way from that.
00:03:46Yes, it'll work on titties.
00:03:47Oh, you're beautiful, Doc.
00:03:48I love you.
00:03:49Zen Kim's going to piss fireworks.
00:03:51That's good?
00:03:52Good.
00:03:53Good.
00:03:53That's better than good.
00:03:54Funding for Renew is going to go through the goddamn roof.
00:03:56Great.
00:03:57You know what?
00:03:59This calls for a meditative moment.
00:04:00Ladies and gentlemen, how do you like your hookers?
00:04:02Oh, I don't...
00:04:03I wouldn't think...
00:04:04Come on.
00:04:04Let's get some champagne up here and celebrate.
00:04:07Come on.
00:04:08I can't.
00:04:08I have another appointment I have to go to.
00:04:10What?
00:04:10You're bailing?
00:04:11Cass, what do you mean?
00:04:12This is what we've been waiting for.
00:04:13This is our big moment.
00:04:14I'm so sorry.
00:04:15See you later.
00:04:17Cass.
00:04:18Bye.
00:04:19Oh, there you are.
00:04:21It's Cassie, isn't it?
00:04:23I'm Sandra, the Zeta's house mother.
00:04:25Let's have a seat in the living room.
00:04:32Oh, where are my manners?
00:04:35Would you like a tea?
00:04:36We have a wonderful chamomile, and it's very soothing.
00:04:40Don't go to any trouble.
00:04:42No, no, no.
00:04:42It's no trouble at all.
00:04:43Not for Zeta's youngest sisters.
00:04:45Here.
00:04:46I'll just put on a fresh pot.
00:04:48Be back in a minute.
00:04:55Wow.
00:04:56She's nice.
00:04:57I was afraid there was going to be a hazing.
00:05:01The kettle's on.
00:05:03Shall we begin?
00:05:03Okay.
00:05:12So beautiful.
00:05:32Girls, life's out.
00:05:42Step inside, you dumb skanks.
00:05:44I said move!
00:05:46Let's do it before I rip your tits off!
00:05:51May God have mercy on your souls.
00:05:55What is that?
00:06:04I don't want to get hurt.
00:06:06I really want to get out of here.
00:06:07Here, Pledgy, Pledgy, Pledgy.
00:06:09Here, Pledgy, Pledgy.
00:06:11Here, Pledgy, Pledgy.
00:06:13Here, Pledgy, Pledgy.
00:06:15Here, Pledgy, Pledgy.
00:06:17Here, Pledgy, Pledgy.
00:06:19welcome to hell month sluts I said hell month most houses do a week but if you
00:06:29want to be a Zeta moo you have to earn it starting tonight strip we need to work
00:06:43on this and here oh my god gross
00:06:50I thought I told you to strip
00:06:52you're like perfect you disgust me get out of my sight
00:07:12yeah
00:07:20yeah
00:07:26yeah yeah
00:07:39Yeah!
00:07:40Yeah!
00:07:41Yeah, right?
00:07:42Make this fit, baby.
00:07:43My spirit fit.
00:07:44Yeah!
00:07:45Go for her, Mommy.
00:07:49Dear God.
00:07:51Cassie, what happened to your face?
00:07:54I'm fine.
00:07:55Just some of the girls messing around.
00:07:57Oh, thank God.
00:07:59I thought you were breaking out again.
00:08:01Remember Spanish Club?
00:08:02What did they call you?
00:08:04Senorita Blotchy Face.
00:08:06Yeah.
00:08:07Thanks for the memories, Mom.
00:08:08Oh!
00:08:09Did you hear your sister's big news?
00:08:11Her squad won the city tournament.
00:08:14Whoop!
00:08:15Whoop!
00:08:16So, any news on the tryouts?
00:08:21Yeah.
00:08:22I, uh, I made a squad.
00:08:25And you wanted to quit trying?
00:08:30You remember what I said.
00:08:32Cheerleading is not just for the pretty girls.
00:08:34So you'll send a check for the rest of the tuition?
00:08:37Yep.
00:08:38You earned it.
00:08:39Go, Cassie.
00:08:40Go, Cassie.
00:08:41Go, Cassie.
00:08:42Oh, no, stop.
00:08:43What is that noise?
00:08:44Nothing.
00:08:45Guerrilla Week on History Channel.
00:08:46Gotta go.
00:08:47Bye.
00:08:48No!
00:08:49No, no!
00:08:50No!
00:08:51Crazy bitch!
00:08:52Get away from me!
00:08:53It's organic!
00:08:54No!
00:08:55Somebody help me!
00:08:56I think I need to eat!
00:08:57Oh, hey Cass.
00:08:58Hungry?
00:08:59I'll pass.
00:09:00Okay.
00:09:01Oh, hey Cass.
00:09:02Hungry?
00:09:03I'll pass.
00:09:04Okay.
00:09:05I'll pass.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:07I'll pass.
00:09:08Okay.
00:09:09I'll pass.
00:09:10I'll pass.
00:09:11I'll pass.
00:09:12I'll pass.
00:09:13I'll pass.
00:09:14Um...
00:09:16What do you have that I know?
00:09:36Look at you and look at me.
00:09:38I know you have a blotchy face.
00:09:40Sam!
00:09:41Too bad you're Satan, Mom.
00:09:42You're not here to go out here now.
00:09:43Do I know?
00:09:44It's not just you, it's not girls.
00:09:46Look at you and look at me.
00:09:47Oh my gosh.
00:09:48I'm not here.
00:09:50I'm not here.
00:09:51I'm not here.
00:09:52I'm not here.
00:09:52I'm not here.
00:10:14I'm not here.
00:10:20Hold on to that ticket stub.
00:10:35It's worth a free soda and jimmy squid.
00:10:49I'm not here.
00:11:10SIREN SIREN
00:11:40Jet? Jet? Jet! Wake up!
00:11:53What is wrong with her?
00:12:10Yeah!
00:12:32Britt, you look amazing.
00:12:34I do, don't I?
00:12:37Holy shit.
00:12:40I never saw your impression that your allen won't out.
00:12:43But I'm not afraid my last day, you will go.
00:12:49Oh my god.
00:12:50Yeah!
00:12:52Uh...
00:13:06Oh, sadistas!
00:13:08Hi, Brittany.
00:13:23How is this possible?
00:13:25Just a little makeover.
00:13:26I have a stylist on Broadway.
00:13:28A stylist?
00:13:29A stylist did all this?
00:13:31What's his name?
00:13:32It's kind of a secret.
00:13:34He likes to keep exclusive clientele.
00:13:36Tell me.
00:13:38Tell me his name or I'll slice your fucking throat.
00:13:41Whatever.
00:13:41You need to grab a leaf and start fanning or they'll be hell to pay.
00:13:48She looks incredible.
00:13:52Hello?
00:13:53Hey, Cass.
00:13:54It's Kyle.
00:13:56Listen, something weird happened at the lab last night.
00:14:00Define weird.
00:14:02I don't know.
00:14:02Something broke into Fluffy's cage and ripped him apart.
00:14:06I mean, I am talking full on, like, Wolverine style.
00:14:12I mean, there's nothing left but blood and fur.
00:14:15Um, can you just, can you come over here and help me inventory supplies, please?
00:14:19I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.
00:14:20In the middle of what?
00:14:22A kegger at the Zeta house?
00:14:23Come on, Cass.
00:14:24This is important.
00:14:25Kyle, I'll be there in a few hours.
00:14:26I promise.
00:14:27You know what?
00:14:27No.
00:14:27Forget it.
00:14:28Okay?
00:14:29Have fun at your party.
00:14:29Oh, son of a bitch.
00:14:43Jeez, I'm so sorry.
00:14:45I was in my face.
00:14:46Really?
00:14:47I'm so sorry.
00:14:48I really am.
00:14:50You know what?
00:14:51Don't even worry about it.
00:14:52It never happened.
00:14:53Okay?
00:14:53We're just going to race that one.
00:14:55Um, who are you?
00:14:56I've never seen you before in my life.
00:14:58I'm a freshman in the Pledge.
00:14:59I'm a senior on campus.
00:15:00Oh, you're a senior on campus?
00:15:02Yeah.
00:15:02Freshman Pledge.
00:15:03Trudy, what's up?
00:15:04Hey, Brandon.
00:15:05It's Trudy.
00:15:06She does all my math homework.
00:15:09Looks like Brandon's on the rebound.
00:15:18Zeta pledges!
00:15:20Front and center!
00:15:21Here at the Zeta House, there's nothing more important than loyalty.
00:15:30And what better symbol of loyalty than a man's best friend?
00:15:37I give you the Zeta Kedon Challenge!
00:15:41Ladies and gentlemen, Zeta Movehouse proudly presents the K-9 Challenge!
00:15:56Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:15:58And we have a...
00:15:59Laugh it up, you!
00:16:01Laugh it up!
00:16:02Go on, now!
00:16:03Freak me wrong!
00:16:04Laugh it up into the last drop!
00:16:06I know mermaids that can suck the barnacles off my ship quicker than you!
00:16:09Now, laugh!
00:16:10Come on, now!
00:16:11Faster, will ya!
00:16:12That's right!
00:16:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:16:14Thank you, sir!
00:16:15Very good!
00:16:16You're done!
00:16:16Off you go!
00:16:17Ha, ha, ha!
00:16:18Come on, you little dear!
00:16:20Make it quicker!
00:16:21Make it quicker!
00:16:22There you go, lass!
00:16:23Good for you!
00:16:23Go, little, off you are!
00:16:25Now, off you go!
00:16:26Go on, now!
00:16:26Ha, ha, ha!
00:16:27Quickly!
00:16:28Quickly, I tell ya!
00:16:29You, come on, you slow-ho!
00:16:31Ha, me paint's drying on me ship!
00:16:33Now, let's go!
00:16:34Ha, ha!
00:16:35And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, the canine slalom!
00:16:40Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:16:41Come on, you saucy wenchel!
00:16:43Come now!
00:16:44Ha, ha!
00:16:44Off you go, lass!
00:16:45Have a cha!
00:16:46Ha, ha!
00:16:47Ha, ha!
00:16:48Leave!
00:16:48Bobbin' leave!
00:16:49Bobbin' leave!
00:16:49Bobbin' leave!
00:16:52Last one!
00:16:53Last one!
00:16:54Roundabout!
00:16:54Over here!
00:16:55Here, pop!
00:16:55Here, pop!
00:16:56Ha, ha!
00:16:57Ha, ha, ha!
00:16:57Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:16:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:01Follow the line!
00:17:02Follow the line!
00:17:03Walk me, flake, lass!
00:17:04Walk me, flake!
00:17:05Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:05She's not looking so good!
00:17:07Ho, ho, ho!
00:17:08Oh!
00:17:09Oh!
00:17:09Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:13Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:14Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:15Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:18And now, the best for last!
00:17:20Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:21Come on now!
00:17:22Away you go!
00:17:23Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:24Oh!
00:17:25Oh, my!
00:17:26Ha, ha!
00:17:29Impressive!
00:17:30Ha, ha!
00:17:31Shiver me timbers!
00:17:32Ha, ha!
00:17:33Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:34Oh, my!
00:17:41For the ball challenge!
00:17:42Ha, ha!
00:17:43I don't...
00:17:44I don't...
00:17:44Oh!
00:17:45Oh!
00:17:45Oh, my!
00:17:48All right, I got nothing else.
00:17:59There you go.
00:18:16I cannot believe you did that.
00:18:18I don't know what came over me.
00:18:19Ever since I injected the renew, I felt this weird confidence.
00:18:23Hey, Cass, look at those guys checking you out.
00:18:26No chance in hell, Dirkos.
00:18:27Just keep moving.
00:18:30Okay.
00:18:34Jeez, they didn't even look my way.
00:18:37Not sure I like what we got going on here, Cass.
00:18:40What did Kyle say about your little science experiment?
00:18:44Yeah, about that.
00:18:45Are you shitting me?
00:18:46You haven't told them yet?
00:18:47Cassie, this renew stuff turned you into a Barbie overnight.
00:18:56I meant to tell him, but I got distracted.
00:19:00If you were mine, then the stars would align.
00:19:08Our hearts and minds would sing in perfect time.
00:19:13We'd never be blue if it was just me and you.
00:19:20Please tell me you do.
00:19:23You, little slut, you totally want that quarterback to shy your little douche, don't you?
00:19:30I don't even know what that means.
00:19:32You know, beef your burrito, pound your mollywog.
00:19:35Okay.
00:19:35Make this sexy time.
00:19:36You can stop now.
00:19:37All right, just promise me you'll tell Kyle, okay?
00:19:46Oh, hey, look, it's Ryan.
00:19:50Hi, Ryan.
00:19:52How about a pickle next time?
00:19:54Why does he look so scared?
00:19:59What?
00:20:01It might have something to do with a cucumber.
00:20:11Hello?
00:20:17Anybody there?
00:20:17Hello?
00:20:26Stupid jackhole.
00:20:27I almost peed myself.
00:20:28I'm sorry, baby.
00:20:29I couldn't help myself.
00:20:31Well, you'll be helping yourself from now on.
00:20:33I hope you and your hand will be very happy together.
00:20:35Come on, Tiffy.
00:20:36Don't be like that.
00:20:37We got the showers to ourselves.
00:20:39I thought we could do the sexy slip inside.
00:20:42Oh, you smell like a hobo.
00:20:44Go take a shower and find your wallet.
00:20:46Because you're taking me out for lobster.
00:20:49Oh, man.
00:20:51So unfair.
00:21:14Mecca fits you, I swear to God.
00:21:16It's your final warning.
00:21:17It's your final warning.
00:21:17It's your final warning.
00:21:18I don't know.
00:21:48Everyone, thank Tiff for freaking out over a stupid bug and twisting her ankle.
00:22:04It wasn't a little bug.
00:22:05It was a spider and it was gibungous.
00:22:07Like cow-sized?
00:22:08Sure.
00:22:09A spider cow.
00:22:10Sounds like Matt finally bought what's left with your brains out.
00:22:15I know what I saw.
00:22:16Anyway, because of Tiff's accident, now we have to rearrange all of our routines.
00:22:22No, you don't.
00:22:23I've seen all of your routines and I'm a really quick learner.
00:22:26You had your chance and you choked down a big one.
00:22:29Like Tiff on prom night.
00:22:31Hey!
00:22:34Anyway, we can't use you.
00:22:37Bye-bye now.
00:22:37Come on, Brittany.
00:22:43Let's give her a chance.
00:22:45Yeah, come on.
00:22:45Brittany, let's give her a chance.
00:22:48Yeah, yeah.
00:22:49She's like really pretty.
00:22:52Fine!
00:22:56Try not to embarrass yourself this time.
00:23:00Hit it!
00:23:01I'm a dirty girl.
00:23:16I'm a dirty girl.
00:23:19Don't tell me what you want to do to me.
00:23:23I can give you everything you need.
00:23:27Let me satisfy your fantasies.
00:23:30Come on, baby.
00:23:32Just give it to me.
00:23:34See that I can be a dirty girl.
00:23:38I will be a dirty girl.
00:23:42Dirty, dirty.
00:23:43It's a dirty world.
00:23:45Dirty, dirty.
00:23:47I will be a dirty girl.
00:23:49See that I can be a dirty girl.
00:23:53See that I can be a dirty girl.
00:23:56I will be a dirty girl.
00:23:58See that I can be a dirty girl.
00:24:01I will be a dirty girl.
00:24:04I made the squad.
00:24:18Okay, congratulations.
00:24:22Hey, you think your mom will quit writing your ass now?
00:24:25Mm-hmm.
00:24:25That's why you tried out, right?
00:24:27Yeah, of course.
00:24:28Mm-hmm.
00:24:29Is this really necessary?
00:24:31Dean Willis observed my class last semester.
00:24:33It's university policy, professor.
00:24:36You know that.
00:24:37What's the school afraid of?
00:24:38That I'm going to use the F word or maybe show one of the co-eds my stimulus package?
00:24:44I find your crass attempt at humor very unprofessional.
00:24:50Watch yourself, professor White.
00:24:51I'm going to have my eye on you.
00:24:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:59You all right?
00:25:00You eat a bad burrito or something?
00:25:02No, I'm fine.
00:25:03Good morning, class.
00:25:05We have a guest observing today.
00:25:08Dean Hinkle.
00:25:08Well, okay, guys, it's time to put your phones away.
00:25:15Put your phones away.
00:25:21Put your...
00:25:22Please put your phones away.
00:25:28Okay, that one hurt.
00:25:30Whoa.
00:25:31Cass, are you okay?
00:25:32So I trust everyone has read their assignment?
00:25:35John Maynard Cain's.
00:25:37Cain's argument that inadequate aggregate demand could lead to extended periods of unemployment.
00:25:45Cain's also said...
00:25:47Son of a whore!
00:25:56Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:25:58Get after it!
00:25:59Get after it!
00:26:00Fire!
00:26:00I'm blind!
00:26:02What the hell is it?
00:26:03Ow, ow!
00:26:04I'm blind!
00:26:05Oh, my God!
00:26:06Ow, ow, ow!
00:26:08Ow!
00:26:09Did it hurt?
00:26:10It stings!
00:26:12It hurt!
00:26:13Did it hurt?
00:26:15It hurt!
00:26:15It hurt!
00:26:15It hurt!
00:26:16It hurt!
00:26:18Jesus Christ!
00:26:20Someone's in big trouble!
00:26:23I am so...
00:26:23Thank God this lecture wasn't televised.
00:26:26Why me?
00:26:28Why me, God?
00:26:29Why not one of the students?
00:26:31Why me?
00:26:39It's clear.
00:26:40Cass, Kyle's not around.
00:26:43Come on.
00:26:46I got you.
00:26:47I got you.
00:26:48Oh, God.
00:26:49Cass, we really need to get you some help.
00:26:59No, I'm fine.
00:27:00I'm...
00:27:01Oh!
00:27:04Okay.
00:27:05No, you're not.
00:27:10Oh!
00:27:10Oh!
00:27:13Oh!
00:27:14Hey, guys.
00:27:16What's up?
00:27:18Hey, Kyle.
00:27:27Kyle, let me explain.
00:27:31Shit.
00:27:31A brick.
00:27:32Are you kidding me?
00:27:33Explain what?
00:27:34You took an experimental compound to impress some pom-pom-waving twits?
00:27:37You should be happy.
00:27:39Renew works better than we imagined.
00:27:41There's just one tiny side effect.
00:27:43Tiny?
00:27:44I wouldn't call this tiny, Cass.
00:27:46You're a she-hulk.
00:27:47Don't forget the tennis ball.
00:27:49Oh, yeah.
00:27:49I can jump really high, and I'm kind of a cheerleading stud.
00:27:53Okay.
00:27:53You know what?
00:27:54No.
00:27:54I'm calling Dr. Higgs.
00:27:55We're gonna see if we can flush or renew from your system.
00:27:57No.
00:27:58Yes.
00:27:58No!
00:27:59I don't want it out of my system.
00:28:01Um, Cass, I think a superdork might be right here.
00:28:06You have no idea what that's doing to your body.
00:28:09I don't care.
00:28:09I've been homely, forgettable, Cassie, my entire life.
00:28:12Now, people notice me, and I like it.
00:28:16Uh, where are you going?
00:28:19I need a bigger uniform.
00:28:20I want to be hanging with the it crowd.
00:28:27A limousine will take you to a club downtown.
00:28:32I'll put you down, maybe you the three.
00:28:36You could be with the bees and the wannabe.
00:28:39Yeah!
00:28:42Come on now.
00:28:43You want to fight with the hailing.
00:28:46Defense!
00:28:47Defense!
00:28:48Four, five, five.
00:28:56Come on now.
00:28:58Do you want to shine?
00:29:00Just like a celebrity.
00:29:02Flash and die.
00:29:04I'm the father I see.
00:29:07Yes!
00:29:08Let's go, let's go.
00:29:13Let's go!
00:29:14Let's go!
00:29:15Let's go, Panther!
00:29:17We're here to beat the panders!
00:29:21We're here to beat the panders!
00:29:24We're here to beat the panders!
00:29:27See you at practice.
00:29:54See you, Kathy.
00:29:55I got your hat.
00:29:57Oh, my God.
00:29:59Hey, Kathy.
00:30:02What's going on?
00:30:03You haven't answered my calls.
00:30:04I've been busy.
00:30:05Yeah, well, so has your pituitary gland.
00:30:07Okay, it looks like Renu has accelerated the production of your growth hormones,
00:30:10which explains the increased vitality and dexterity.
00:30:13I don't want to talk about this right now.
00:30:15Oh, okay.
00:30:16Well, let's talk possible side effects, like liver failure or cardiac arrest.
00:30:20I feel fine.
00:30:21I feel better than fine.
00:30:22I feel freaking awesome.
00:30:23But for how long?
00:30:24I mean, come on, Cass, be reasonable, okay?
00:30:26At least let us monitor your condition before all this pom-pomming sucks your IQ dry.
00:30:32What'd you say?
00:30:33You heard me.
00:30:34The Cass I knew was a scientist.
00:30:36I get thrown all that away to be some bimbo cheerleader.
00:30:39I happen to like cheerleading.
00:30:40Okay, you know what?
00:30:42Fine.
00:30:44I'm going back to the lab.
00:30:45I'm going back to the lab.
00:30:49Hey.
00:30:51Hey.
00:30:52Is that, uh, what's up, little guy?
00:30:54Is he, uh, see you bothering you?
00:30:56Not anymore.
00:30:57All right, because, uh, I'll kick his ass.
00:30:59All right, just for you.
00:31:00No problem.
00:31:01Free of charge.
00:31:02I mean, not that, you know, you need my help to probably squash that guy like a bug.
00:31:05Are you making fun of me?
00:31:06Oh, no, no.
00:31:06I'm a big fan of the new look.
00:31:08Um, read all about the state press.
00:31:09I'm about a weird family gross birth thing, like genetic.
00:31:13Something like that.
00:31:14Gotcha.
00:31:15Um, I saw your picture of your mom, though, at the Zeta house.
00:31:18How come she isn't tall?
00:31:20It skipped a generation.
00:31:22Too bad for her.
00:31:23Because this whole thing is, uh, you look good.
00:31:31Thanks.
00:31:32Um, you're going to do the, you're doing the fun run, right?
00:31:35Me and the other pledges.
00:31:37Okay, cool.
00:31:38Well, uh, I'll see you there.
00:31:40And maybe we could, uh, hang out or something.
00:31:45See you later.
00:31:46Okay.
00:31:50Dude, you are a flink.
00:31:54She is like a mountain.
00:31:57Oh, a sexy, sexy mountain.
00:32:01Yes.
00:32:02She is mountainous.
00:32:03And I am going to climb that shit like Mount Everest.
00:32:07Kill him in Jaro, that shit.
00:32:10Get the pack ready.
00:32:12Oh, I've got it.
00:32:15I think we need O2 on this one.
00:32:17Welcome to the 12th Annual Undie Fundraise.
00:32:37Remember, all proceeds benefit to sticular cancer research.
00:32:44So screw you, cancer.
00:32:46Give your hands up our fun.
00:32:51The race will begin momentarily.
00:32:54But first,
00:32:56Zeta home month is almost over.
00:32:59To celebrate, we thought the pledges deserved a little treat.
00:33:07And don't forget the whipped cream.
00:33:12Hugs of doubt, girls.
00:33:14Okay, that's enough.
00:33:30We want to make sure that the pledges have plenty of fluids during the race.
00:33:35You need to kill this before the end of the run.
00:33:40Are you on a Zeta moon?
00:33:43But I'm too young to die.
00:33:45Yeah, me too.
00:33:46I can't fit that in my mouth.
00:33:49I don't know, Britt.
00:33:50That's a big bottle.
00:33:52It's not safe.
00:33:55Every last drop.
00:33:58Are you on a Zeta moon?
00:34:00Make your choice.
00:34:01The race is about to start.
00:34:29Screw it.
00:34:31Is that what you want?
00:34:45See?
00:34:46That's what I'm talking about.
00:34:47That's what I'm talking about.
00:34:49Right there.
00:34:50There it is.
00:34:52What do you think you're doing?
00:34:53I'm sick of being your bitch, so you can feel a few inches taller.
00:34:56But Helmuth is almost over.
00:34:58No one ever quits Zeta moon.
00:35:00Watch me.
00:35:06Run, bitches!
00:35:08Yeah!
00:35:13Hey, Cassie.
00:35:18That was awesome!
00:35:21seriously you're like my hero where did that even come from like you were what's wrong you're
00:35:28all right you're all right hey talk to me oh i think i'm my earl
00:35:40and this is not helping you know what um i just had a good idea okay my room is like right down
00:35:47the you know over there and you can uh shower and you want to get me out of these wet clothes don't
00:35:52you what no i mean i just want you to be you know clean and everything and yes i want you out of
00:36:00the schools shut up
00:36:01i didn't know you're this type of girl neither did i kind of used to be the one in control here
00:36:31okay okay what i said take sharks is not what i was talking about not you're getting bigger
00:36:46why are you getting bigger oh shit what the what is that
00:36:51oh that's a fucking spider is that a giant spider that's a fucking giant spider that's a
00:37:00fucking giant
00:37:04brandon your big robot cassie on your own
00:37:14uh
00:37:26thank you thanks appreciate it uh come on uh take care stay tight with you you're great
00:37:42uh
00:38:03son of a
00:38:04sorry uh it's okay it's not like you just spat hot coffee in my eye wait yes you did
00:38:13this this is okay uh we we can yeah we can fix this no problemo really i look like
00:38:20slutty statue of liberty and you say no problemo okay uh you know i i could have said oh dear god
00:38:27you're a ginormous freak i'm sorry carl about everything i just i just wanted to be pretty
00:38:34i know it's i know it's okay cass all right we'll we'll do what we can i'll call dr higgs
00:38:44we'll figure this out you better make that call quick we've got a mess to clean up
00:38:51hey hey no stop stop it stop pulling around stop okay let's just go please
00:38:58where is she in the pool yes but listen uh uh the renew has sped up quite quite a bit and she's
00:39:11growing a lot faster than i anticipated so how much i'm not sure the calculation but how you doing
00:39:16i think my aorta just crapped its pants you grew again my little pinkies look like fat hogs
00:39:32the renew compound must have altered my hypothesis yes uh resulting in extreme gigantism
00:39:39it's truly amazing be amazed from over there dr feelgood oh okay i'm sorry doc the renew compound
00:39:50must be making me more spontaneously aggressive yes uh among other side effects
00:39:58how is that counteractive agent coming along you're working on the antidote well yeah i mean once the
00:40:04renew started showing adverse effects i i hit the lab but it's not going so well cass okay i mean once
00:40:11the renew roots itself in your cells it digs in deep so what do we do okay okay look i'm gonna call them
00:40:21chem because they're the only ones with enough resources to help us but in the meantime you hide
00:40:27her a little better uh there's eyes everywhere yeah what are you hide i have nothing to wear okay i have
00:40:37an idea but i'm gonna need your help fine but no peeking oh right the rest of the world is just freakishly tall
00:40:57so i'm with cassie and there's this spider and she starts growing like
00:41:12growing she gets huge and i ran and then i passed out and oh god i think i'm i think i'm gonna mute
00:41:21oh my god oh my god oh they're all numb okay oh my god it's terrifying okay the spider had these
00:41:35fangs okay these fangs were like were like okay and then it's like and it's all like and i was like
00:41:44freaking out and she's getting huge and i just ran and i passed out i have no idea what happened
00:41:48enough about the spider tell me more about cassie
00:42:02i see you buck on earth let's get a mic it's game day and the stage is set for a homecoming brawl
00:42:10between iron coast university and their rivals the panthers with two undefeated records on the line
00:42:19anything can happen this is sophia long reporting
00:42:24oh really dude get out of here we're gonna have to do it over
00:42:38uh hey
00:42:50what's going on here
00:42:51oh uh didn't animal control call you guys yeah a pack of um giant pygmy uh uh howler monkeys
00:42:59they uh escaped from the lab you know they infested the whole gymnasium
00:43:04really nobody told me about it i better take a check oh okay well hang on a second if you're
00:43:10you're gonna go in there you might want to wear this
00:43:17what for well uh two words okay explosive diarrhea yeah some some laxative company were uh
00:43:26we're using monkeys as test subjects yeah i'm not gonna lie it's like a poop apocalypse in there
00:43:31i don't need no monkey shit today i'll tell you what tell animal control i was here okay yeah you
00:43:42got it will do i'll just i'll lock lock this up take care
00:43:53ah okay they won't be bugging us anytime soon what's up i'm not sure
00:43:58but i think your antidote may be working check out these gh levels okay okay inside voice please
00:44:11no i can't tell okay let's take another sample
00:44:15oh
00:44:28oh you think that's funny maybe that's really funny isn't it yeah yeah you think it's funny
00:44:32oh my god i'm so sorry sure you are what are you doing here i thought my roomie could use some
00:44:44non-nerd company what's up big mama nothing much just growing into a gigantic mutant you better than you
00:44:51do
00:44:53instead of a that keeps happening hey cass check this out you're right the spider's gh levels are getting
00:45:02lower
00:45:05what's that it's an artificial antibody hopefully it'll target the altered cells like a
00:45:10antigen and disable the renew compound will it work i don't know let's find out
00:45:15should something be happening now
00:45:30look i'm i'm sorry whoa uh guys guys you kind of want to see this
00:45:36oh yeah who rocks huh me you rock kyle you rock where are you going back to the lab i got more
00:45:46antibodies there you know he's kind of cute in a nerdy puppy kind of way you notice that too huh yeah
00:45:55it's a shame you'd have to go spelunking to have sex with you though
00:46:00hmm
00:46:06what are you doing blending in what's it look like you want a dog no listen i thought zim cam
00:46:23was sending specialists to help pass they did these guys would be my idea now they can run all over
00:46:29campus and everybody will think they're just big fans i was expecting medical professionals and
00:46:35scientists who are those guys zim cam security ex-military mostly nice fellas why don't you get to
00:46:42know them listen this is not necessary cassie is not a threat to anybody oh really yeah really the 50
00:46:50foot cheerleader with a superhuman strength she's a dying grad student you know i'm so glad you cleared
00:46:55that up let's roll boys this isn't right listen you egg-headed pussy there is no right
00:47:05are wrong just profit and loss and right now your freaky cheerleader has profit written all over
00:47:12her perfect gigantic ass so she's going with us one way or the other now get in the goddamn van okay
00:47:20shutt gun okay i'll just walk in the van or get in the van
00:47:34you're the cheerleader right shouldn't you be getting ready for the game i am getting ready for the game
00:47:59you see the cheer squad has this tradition
00:48:09before every homecoming game we pick one lucky guy and we strip more um all right you do one now
00:48:17guess who i picked oh no listen you you can't stand here
00:48:28if you want me to leave you need a manhandle please
00:48:31is that the stuff that made cassie beautiful
00:48:45what did you say come on you can tell me is that the stuff
00:48:52please just go okay please all right leave right now
00:48:55uh uh listen don't don't don't freak out don't freak out
00:49:09oh shoot
00:49:32that's not good
00:49:33excuse me excuse me watch out so you want to tell me what's bothering you what are you talking
00:49:42about well kyle found a way to make you normal again shouldn't you be doing like big ass car
00:49:48wheels or something maybe i don't want to be normal so you'd rather be gigantor the sex
00:49:52bitch no i just don't want to be me in case you didn't notice being me sucked
00:49:57cass your mom's skyping you again you have to talk to her sometime fine but adjust the camera
00:50:06she'll crap puppies if she sees me like this okay
00:50:17ready yep
00:50:18cassie it's me mom but you're so pretty that's some great parenting mom
00:50:31i'm your mother i'm supposed to say you look pretty but this time i really mean it you look beautiful
00:50:39i found a good stylist on your campus better than good this guy's a miracle worker i mean i've had my
00:50:46stellar work in the past but look what they had to work with okay mom i mean you you could say that
00:50:54rome wasn't built in a day in your case okay mom wow really this guy should get a nobel prize or
00:51:01something okay we're done here oh but i haven't told you my good news yet i'm coming to homecoming
00:51:08isn't that great i'm overcome with joy my daughter makes the cheer squad and now this i couldn't not
00:51:17come i'll see you on the field wow it's like life is taking a steaming pee on my birthday cake
00:51:32would ice cream help 20 gallons mint chocolate chip all right well that's gonna take a few trips i'll be back
00:51:41i'll be back
00:51:49i'll be back
00:51:51cassie
00:51:52cass
00:51:53cassie
00:51:54cassie
00:51:54cass get out of here
00:51:56mr gray what is this taking you to remote installation miss strafford we can run some tests
00:52:13i hate to admit this but that outfit is giving me just a tiny little chubby
00:52:18you
00:52:19ew hey jen cass you guys all right hey dr hick what's going on it's okay cassie
00:52:26sam cam has the resources to help you we don't if they're trying to help me then why are they armed
00:52:32there's no need for concern they're only tasers for our own protection protection from what we're
00:52:38afraid that the renew might compromise your mental stability your wardrobe for example no no you know
00:52:44what that's it i'm calling the fda or something why don't you set your phone to shut the fuck up
00:52:51kyle okay that's it no more screwing around bring me the big boy
00:53:01you're going with us girly or you're eating five hundred thousand votes cassie they will lock you up
00:53:08like a lab rat run don't do it
00:53:14son of a bitch that is one hell of a stride
00:53:23look at you you could have had it all you could have been swimming in money and drowning in hookers
00:53:29but no you threw it all away and for what
00:53:33tough luck kid
00:53:43right now her vagina is a freaking echo chamber you're just gonna be yodeling in the canyon
00:53:50yodeling
00:53:54let's get cracking doc
00:53:57huh
00:53:57college kids
00:54:10look it out
00:54:13cover me
00:54:14got it
00:54:16cover me
00:54:16where are you gonna hide cassie you're 50 feet tall and we got eyeballs everywhere
00:54:28i will not be zimkim science experiment well you should have thought of that before you ejected
00:54:33company property up your ass
00:54:36you know if you want something done right
00:54:56you know if you want something done right
00:55:13all right get the witches hooked up got to get her out of sight
00:55:16but first somebody take my picture over here boss
00:55:24no wait wait wait hold on one more for safety
00:55:26hi uh is brit here
00:55:37i'm afraid miss andrews is upstairs
00:55:39ah
00:55:40young man
00:55:43follow me
00:55:45okay
00:55:46you know of course that no dude conduct is allowed in this house
00:56:01of course yes ma'am
00:56:05so i expect you to be on your best behavior
00:56:09because if your crank sees the light of day in there i will cut it off with a rusty pipe wrench
00:56:16uh
00:56:20tea
00:56:21no thank you no no i'm i'm good
00:56:32okay
00:56:34you can't do it
00:56:36one
00:56:38two
00:56:39brit
00:56:42are you in there
00:56:46what are you like waxing your pubes or something
00:56:57no you idiot
00:57:00what's going on in there
00:57:02nothing absolutely nothing
00:57:04okay
00:57:16okay uh you know what something crazy just happened coach just called me i gotta be at the practice field so i'm gonna
00:57:21i'm gonna
00:57:22i'm gonna see you later
00:57:24promise
00:57:26you're not going anywhere
00:57:29huh
00:57:30yes
00:57:34yes
00:57:36yes you're all right
00:57:36all creep
00:57:39she's gonna be fine
00:57:40vitals are very strong
00:57:43you sold her out you piece of
00:57:44shit
00:57:45uh i wouldn't be too hard on him kid
00:57:48sem camp can't afford another company finding her
00:57:51they get cassie's blood they get renewed
00:57:54so what are you gonna do you're gonna sneak her out
00:57:56it's homecoming there's thousands of witnesses
00:57:58who said anything about sneaking
00:58:00we're flying around
00:58:02plain sight
00:58:17oh god
00:58:18oh god
00:58:19oh god
00:58:20oh god
00:58:20oh god
00:58:21oh god
00:58:21oh god
00:58:21oh god
00:58:22you got on the blimp you're crazy
00:58:25no believing a woman could grow into a 50-foot giant
00:58:28that's crazy
00:58:30we are floating over the stadium
00:58:32with zemchem pharmaceuticals new mascot
00:58:36a 50-foot plastic cheerleader
00:58:40what about cass stopping all over campus i mean people had to see her
00:58:44ah it's a special effect
00:58:46hologram or some
00:58:46shit part of a publicity stunt to promote zemchem
00:58:51listen to me kid look around you
00:58:53your peers have got their noses buried so deep into their smartphones
00:58:57i could stage this year's cheerpalooza with a hundred cassies
00:59:01and unless it's on this
00:59:04your peeps just don't care
00:59:20no i don't believe that
00:59:22well you better believe it buster
00:59:24because it's simple and logical
00:59:26and most people are freaking morons
00:59:28who believe anything the internet will tell them
00:59:31okay boys
00:59:33let's bag this big bad barbie up
00:59:36take these two to the lab
00:59:37do a clean swing
00:59:38cass i'll be back for you i promise okay
00:59:41get off me
00:59:44no he won't
00:59:46you're on your own now kid
00:59:48hey
00:59:50that's what you came to college for isn't it
00:59:54you're on your own now
00:59:56all right
00:59:57buccaneer fans on your feet
00:59:59as we get ready to rock
01:00:00all the way it goes down
01:00:02come on i see you in my life
01:00:04let's show these panther fans
01:00:06what it's like
01:00:06oh
01:00:06take off of these buccaneers
01:00:11hey sugar
01:00:13oh brenda girl you look fantastic
01:00:16hello well you know my motto
01:00:18set of moves never get old we just get better plastic surgeons
01:00:22let's go big guns
01:00:31well i hate their chocolate thunder
01:00:33want to go down under
01:00:36just get over there
01:00:39what a lovely school
01:00:42i am so glad you made it
01:00:44you know i never miss a homecoming game
01:00:46well sure but we thought you're going to skip this year after we heard what happened to cassie
01:00:52what happened to cassie you don't know
01:00:54no oh honey
01:00:56my daughter said cassie quit his age a week ago and hasn't been to cheerleading camp
01:01:02oh really candy
01:01:05if that's true heads are gonna roll
01:01:07how could she do this to me
01:01:10those douchebags take cassie
01:01:12why no we won't okay check it out it's for elephants
01:01:16we're gonna inject her with the antidote
01:01:17i thought you said it needed more testing
01:01:19well we don't have any time okay
01:01:34great man hey what's up brandon
01:01:38i remember my rules
01:01:39what's up brandon
01:01:43what's up brandon
01:01:47all the cops
01:01:51really
01:01:54hey
01:01:55great you know look in tall good really good
01:02:00listen all right in the heat of the moment i said some things
01:02:03i think you may have you know misunderstood them a little
01:02:05you call me a freak
01:02:07in a good way like what's up you sexy freak you know
01:02:11like come on
01:02:13we're good
01:02:14you knew the times memories there
01:02:19no no i'm gonna eat you right now
01:02:22no i'm gonna eat you
01:02:23oh no there you go babe have a beer have a beer there you go relax
01:02:35hey how about this
01:02:40gets up on the podium and he says um i've synthesized metabolic essence i've uh re-engineered
01:02:47cell walls but i but you forgot to extrapolate the data
01:02:52you heard it before all right um uh you strap cassie i'll inject her okay and then take out dr dicks
01:02:59okay good because i really want to have time yeah okay let's go all right
01:03:04uh maybe being big won't be so bad i mean after all you won't have to look for skirts anymore you
01:03:10can just use a tent oh oh listen there's no need for violence okay
01:03:16how about this we'll find you a guy we could advertise in large and tall women weekly for you
01:03:29oh my god
01:03:31or not you want to suck some volts
01:03:36didn't think so
01:03:39hey stop it
01:03:40oh oh no no no cassie no
01:03:54this stinks
01:03:59better late than never
01:04:00let me give you a hand there superman
01:04:11get a kick to the stomach is highly overrated
01:04:13okay are you okay i'm great too thanks for asking
01:04:19oh hey hey wait wait don't do that
01:04:22okay listen to me i'll inject you with the antidote you'll shrink back to normal size just slip right
01:04:27out of those okay yeah i'll help or not
01:04:36no i don't want it
01:04:40don't you get it gray is just afraid you're gonna go to a rival company all right if we eradicate renew
01:04:46from yourselves you know he'll leave you alone i heard about britney's rampage renew made me more
01:04:52aggressive but in her it'll put the bitch factor way past 11. no way zim kim's men can stop that
01:05:00but i can
01:05:04we're moments away from kickoff here at iron coast university stadium as you can see fans are streaming
01:05:10into this
01:05:20whoa
01:05:21god look at it
01:05:31so help me bob if you're not getting this i'll turn your nutsack into a coin purse i'm getting
01:05:43it i'm getting it do you have a statement is there anything you want to say
01:05:49uh
01:06:10okay chicka playtime's over coming with us and who are you supposed to be we're the only guys who can
01:06:18help you we're also the guys who can cut you down aside so what's it gonna be sister
01:06:28i've never missed a game and i'm not about to start now
01:06:35can we talk
01:06:49you think they scared her off oh god did she kill him
01:07:09oh lower no he's breathing
01:07:13all right where is she then
01:07:22right now the icu buccaneer makes a risk
01:07:28that might jump your shit out of the bay table
01:07:32oh my god
01:07:50come on you guys where's your spirit
01:07:52let's do the wave
01:07:57i got spirit yes i do i got spirit how about you
01:08:04i see you number one
01:08:08come on you guys don't you want to see me cheer
01:08:12my name is britney don't mess with me i run say to move i'm the queen of ideas
01:08:22you guys are so
01:08:42britney
01:08:42you've been at my butt since the day we met what did i do to you you were the nerdy little science girl but
01:08:52it wasn't enough
01:09:12that was a low blow
01:09:14you got to step into my world
01:09:44you got to see me
01:09:46you got to be a monster
01:09:48but you sure did
01:09:50you bet in the day they step for the trail
01:09:52you think only one of these giants is going on today
01:09:54oh
01:09:56uh
01:09:58oh
01:10:00oh
01:10:02oh
01:10:04oh
01:10:06yeah
01:10:08Yeah!
01:10:09Wheeee!
01:10:10Oh!
01:10:11Oh.
01:10:12Oh!
01:10:14Oh!
01:10:15Oh!
01:10:16Oh!
01:10:17Oh!
01:10:18Excuse me!
01:10:21Oh my goodness!
01:10:22Oh my goodness!
01:10:23That's all right.
01:10:24Look out!
01:10:25Look out!
01:10:26Hey, hey!
01:10:27Hey, hey!
01:10:28Hey!
01:10:29Hey!
01:10:30Oh my goodness!
01:10:31Hey, hey!
01:10:32Hey!
01:10:33Hey!
01:10:34Hey!
01:10:35Hey!
01:10:36Hey!
01:10:37Whoop, whoop!
01:10:39Thanks, Mom.
01:10:43Hey.
01:10:45Hey, guys. Check it out.
01:10:54Looks like your antibodies worked.
01:10:56I guess it'll take a while to whip up another batch.
01:10:59Well, it's a good thing I have these.
01:11:04Now, you are aware, this will reverse all the renew effects.
01:11:07That's okay. I think I like the old me better.
01:11:13Didn't I tell you she was a great cheerleader?
01:11:36You've never looked better.
01:11:37Wait.
01:11:51What's wrong?
01:11:53I think we might have messed up the dosage of antibodies we gave Brittany.
01:11:57I'm sure it's fine.
01:11:57Yeah?
01:11:59Uh, guys, I'm pretty sure it's not fine.
01:12:06Oh, is she? What's going on?
01:12:08It's me, Brittany.
01:12:09Brittany, are you okay? Is she in there?
01:12:12I don't know.
01:12:13Oh, she's really.
01:12:14I don't want to be.
01:12:15Oh, my gosh.
01:12:15Ooh.
01:12:16It is Brittany.
01:12:19Hey, Brittany.
01:12:19Hey.
01:12:19Oh, gosh.
01:12:24Okay.
01:12:24Brittany, stand up!
01:12:27I am standing up!
01:12:30Yes, yes, yes, yes.
01:12:32Oh, my gosh.
01:12:32Didn't you come with my Happy Meal?
01:12:37You're not Snow White anymore.
01:12:39Now you want to go.
01:12:40You're gross.
01:12:44No!
01:12:47No!
01:12:49No!
01:12:52No!