Ooh yeah, let’s laugh at the wild 80s and 90s when everyone tried to steal cable! From rigging black boxes to decode HBO to climbing utility poles for free MTV, we’re joking about the sneaky tricks people pulled to watch The Sopranos or Beavis and Butt-Head without paying. Relive the era of descramblers, jerry-rigged splitters, and “borrowing” the neighbor’s signal. Were you a cable pirate? Share your funniest cable hack story below! #CableTheft #80sNostalgia #90sNostalgia #RetroTV #Nostalgia #CableHacks #BlackBox #HBO #MTV #PopCulture #Throwback #80s #90s #TVHistory #FunnyStories #RetroVibes #Descrambler #BeavisAndButtHead #TheSopranos #Viral #Humor #PirateCable #OldSchoolTV #Nostalgic #TVNostalgia #CablePiracy #CultTV
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00:00:00In a world where the it-thing is always changing, sometimes you need a tour guide or two to help you find your way to Pop Culture's Paradise.
00:00:07If you find yourself reminiscing or in need of a good recommendation, these two have you covered.
00:00:12And now, here's your hosts, Joey and Jeff!
00:00:21Welcome back to Pop Culture Paradise, my name is Joe.
00:00:24Hey, and I'm Jeff.
00:00:25And today, I have to warn Jeff about the dangers of stealing cable.
00:00:32Dude, I'm not really sure what we're gonna watch today, but the topic has me super intrigued.
00:00:38I'm not gonna confess to stealing cable as a kid, but it was definitely a lot easier than some would think back in the 90s.
00:00:44Am I right or am I right?
00:00:46Oh, I think without naming names, somebody very close to you may have owned what they called a descrambler.
00:00:55So without, you know, getting anyone in trouble, can you tell a story about a descrambler?
00:01:02Well, you had the descrambler, right, and then you also had the little black box.
00:01:07I think they may have been the same thing, a little bit different.
00:01:11Essentially, if you tried to go to a certain cable channel, it'd be all out of whack and scrambled.
00:01:16Now, this particular device would do exactly what it's called, right?
00:01:19It would de-scramble it, so it would put everything into order to where you could actually get a picture and, you know, an audio signal
00:01:27and watch channels that you weren't necessarily supposed to.
00:01:31And people would sell these boxes, and I just remember several different, you know, versions of this just growing up
00:01:40and watching wrestling almost specifically through this descrambler.
00:01:45Now, was it necessarily legal?
00:01:47No, as we're going to find out in today's podcast, but it was exhilarating is what it was.
00:01:54Yeah, because each time you take one of these events, you're like, guess who didn't get my 50 bucks?
00:02:01Because everything was super expensive.
00:02:03I think nowadays, because I always see this debate when an AEW pay-per-view comes up, people are like, 50 bucks for a pay-per-view?
00:02:10Everything's $9.99 and whatever subscription I'm on and this streaming service is only 10 bucks.
00:02:16But back then, everything was so expensive, so every event that you got for free was like this major, major big deal
00:02:24because you felt like you're getting one over on them.
00:02:27I'm not going to pay for WrestleMania 6.
00:02:30In theory, you probably should have because it's a great show, but I kind of look back at it then.
00:02:35It was like, gosh, I think the standard pay-per-view was probably like $29.99 up to like 50 bucks for the, you know, big ones.
00:02:45And mind you, this is in the 90s, so this is in standard def.
00:02:48So you're paying $50 of your hard-earned money, which I don't even know what that translates to in today's money.
00:02:55I'm sure you could do some research to find out, but 50 bucks for standard def.
00:03:00What you would do before the Scrambler is you'd have all your buddies on your street and in your town and your friends to come over.
00:03:07Everybody would pitch in 10 bucks.
00:03:09You'd order some pizzas.
00:03:11You'd watch the event like it was a big deal.
00:03:13And I think now with just the WWE Network on Peacock and everything being 10 bucks and streaming services, everything is so much more easily accessible.
00:03:25I think that's why it's not $50 for pay-per-view.
00:03:30You know what I'm saying?
00:03:31Yeah, which is how like you could justify buying a descrambler that, you know,
00:03:36eventually the cable company would figure out how to do a workaround and then you come home and wait a minute.
00:03:43It's not working anymore.
00:03:44Well, what happened?
00:03:47Cable company repairs now caught on.
00:03:50Now we got to go go to the shady contact who knows how to make these things or has that contact and great.
00:03:58We got to drop some more money for this thing.
00:04:00So it's like you're still paying somebody.
00:04:03Right, but you think you're getting one over on the cable company, but I mean that that was the thing eventually they would just catch on and then it was like, okay.
00:04:11Well, how can we outsmart them this time?
00:04:13Not we as in you and I were not admitting to that.
00:04:16We as in like the probably we're too young.
00:04:19Yeah, it was a it was exciting is what it was and I'm really really curious to see what you have prepared for us today before we go into these clips.
00:04:28I want to talk about some of the earliest ways of piracy.
00:04:31Do you remember having to figure out what tape had like a good recording on it and which tape was disposable like, all right, don't tape over this but this tape right here.
00:04:42This this is no good.
00:04:43I mean your mother's already watched all the things on here.
00:04:47Yeah.
00:04:47Well, I mean the difference between the tape was there like your standard play and then extended play and if you recorded in extended play, it would give you, you know, more room on the on the tape,
00:05:00but it would be lesser quality.
00:05:03Was that the case?
00:05:04Yes.
00:05:04So you'd have those some tape for one hour some with two hours, but then there was those ones that could go eight hours and it just had a roll spool.
00:05:12They just seem like it went on forever and ever and those were the perfect tape right there.
00:05:17Could you like, you know what?
00:05:18I don't know when this event is going to end just throw it in there.
00:05:21If I fall asleep, whatever.
00:05:23I'll catch the event.
00:05:24I'll catch the event the show after the event.
00:05:27I'll probably have part of the Tonight Show on there.
00:05:31Well, I mean dude, it was it was it was cool because you could just let those tapes run forever and that was like, okay, if you if you purchased something you were completely allowed to record it from my understanding.
00:05:46If you have the device to be able to do so, but you obviously couldn't sell it.
00:05:50Now, if you're using a de-scrambler, which which is which is questionable in its own right and you're taping this and sharing it with your friends back and forth, I mean, it's it's kind of harmless stuff, but it's still it's it's wrong as we're going to find out.
00:06:07You could take VHS's that were actually made by a company and then inside if you open up the flap and you tape down this little button part in there, you could override the copyright protection.
00:06:19Yep.
00:06:19When Jeff talked about getting a de-scrambler, I think he's thinking of this kind of transaction.
00:06:26And let's just toss it out there real quick that this this whatever this mystery man or person is that you're going to buy this de-scrambler from.
00:06:33This isn't the kind of person that he would invite over for Thanksgiving dinner.
00:06:37All right, you do not want this person to know where you live.
00:06:40They're that shady of a character.
00:06:41No, in fact, one of the guys that we will see here today is exactly who Jeff is talking about.
00:06:47I kind of described him as somebody that if you went to their home out in their hallway or in their kitchen, they have like six trash bags filled with beer bottles that haven't been returned to redemption.
00:07:00So it has a lingering smell in the air and like he's just he's not going to give them away because that's money for more beer.
00:07:09Right. He's not actually going to return it yet.
00:07:12It's going to wait for the house to smell terrible.
00:07:14Jeez. So this is a transaction that I think Jared's been thinking about.
00:07:19As of September the 1st, take this as a new law.
00:07:22This new law allows me to give it a back alley somewhere.
00:07:25Like, dude, keep this on the low.
00:07:27I mean, he couldn't have put the box in a bag or something.
00:07:29So at least it could have been mistaken for drugs, at least.
00:07:33Like, just keep it out in the open.
00:07:35And how much did did he even pay for that?
00:07:37Can you look? Because these boxes weren't cheap.
00:07:41As of September the 1st, take this as a new law.
00:07:44This new law provides tough penalties for stealing cable TV services.
00:07:48That had to have been a good 50, 60 bucks right there, right?
00:07:5150 or 60 bucks, but it also looks like counterfeit money.
00:07:57I think the purchaser is about to have another problem if he's trying to rip off the scrambler guy.
00:08:04What you're also talking about is the idea of de-scrambling being illegal.
00:08:08And what I found out through these video clips is the idea and the act of de-scrambling isn't actually illegal.
00:08:16No, what the device is legally allowed to do is de-scramble over-the-air channels that are free anyway.
00:08:24So as this guy describes, you can maybe use it to find a home shopping network.
00:08:30But if you were to use it to try to get, I don't know, BH1 back in the day, then it would be illegal.
00:08:36Do you really want BH1 that bad that you're going to meet a guy in a back alley and buy a de-scrambler out of his back of his Buick?
00:08:45Yes. You went that into behind the music.
00:08:50First, the signal has to be scrambled, what they call encrypted, or the law doesn't apply.
00:08:55I guess that means the...
00:08:56This guy's an undercover. I don't trust him.
00:08:58No, and if you look on that screen, I am pretty sure that was porn.
00:09:04He's looking, he's looking, he's looking.
00:09:08What's going on there?
00:09:11It definitely is. That is a group orgy right there.
00:09:16At this point, you probably want to know who's the kind of guy who makes his business selling a legal product.
00:09:22Can you maybe make a guess at who you think this guy is?
00:09:26It's a very, very assuming person.
00:09:31It's that estranged uncle that you don't really talk to.
00:09:37He's not invited over a lot.
00:09:39It's definitely that type.
00:09:42It's the VideoCypher 2 de-scrambler.
00:09:44And he wears a trucker hat, definitely what I expected.
00:09:48The VideoCypher 2?
00:09:51There are now over 40 scrambled channels and the list is growing every day.
00:09:56Scrambled channels simply cannot be accessed without VideoCypher 2.
00:10:01Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:10:03I thought these were like back alley shady deals.
00:10:07I didn't know that these people made infomercials to sell de-scramblers.
00:10:12I thought these were like on the super low. Were they not?
00:10:15I was kind of surprised to see this guy, too.
00:10:18This guy's going to make a legitimate business out of this.
00:10:21He's a pitch man for illegal, well, not illegal, I guess.
00:10:27I think he's like the target poster boy there.
00:10:30That like, he's the guy who got the big fine
00:10:32because everyone else got swatted on the hand.
00:10:34They're like, this guy, he's too outspoken right now.
00:10:37He's really trying to make a profit. We have to shut him down.
00:10:41He's just taunting the cops at this point.
00:10:44In other words, if you want to see the best channels, you must have a VideoCypher 2.
00:10:50You know what would be really crazy?
00:10:52Is if this commercial came up while you were watching TV on a de-scrambler
00:10:57and you're like, we only have the VideoCypher 1.
00:11:00Dad, we need VideoCypher 2.
00:11:02He's advancing technology. He's de-scrambling time and space.
00:11:07He is the de-scrambler.
00:11:11Golly, and now he's wearing the pinwheel hat trying to...
00:11:15Hey, kids, tell your parents to buy the VideoCypher 2.
00:11:19You want that Nickelodeon?
00:11:23So come on, get happy and get your own VideoCypher 2.
00:11:27It's about time, isn't it?
00:11:29I know, me too. Get happy, get arrested.
00:11:32I like the fact too, he's like, you know,
00:11:35I don't think people are exactly excited enough to get all these free channels
00:11:38because of my product. We need balloons. It's a party.
00:11:42Right, so this was one way to essentially steal cable.
00:11:47Another way, which I've seen firsthand,
00:11:50if you live in some sort of big apartment complex
00:11:53and each individual person in their unit pays for their own cable,
00:11:58I've seen so many people just cut their cable,
00:12:02splice it and put a splitter on it and run it into your place.
00:12:05Like so many people used to do that.
00:12:07Like we would find, oh my God, these four apartments above us
00:12:11have been stealing cable from us,
00:12:12but they didn't know we're stealing cable from the guy downstairs.
00:12:16So the signal just keeps getting worse and worse and you're like,
00:12:20damn it, my signal is terrible. And then somebody ruins the party by calling
00:12:24and everyone shut off and we will come back to that
00:12:28because one of these ads does address that situation.
00:12:32Now, why would somebody even bother to steal cable?
00:12:34What are some reasons why you would just not pay for it?
00:12:38Because you just don't want to pay for it.
00:12:40I mean, you have to think over the air.
00:12:44I mean, you kind of get all the major networks.
00:12:48You can watch all the big games per se in your town, in your area,
00:12:53but just to have those premium channels that you need to pay for,
00:12:57that you probably need to pay extra for.
00:13:00And I think honestly, probably just part of the excitement of it.
00:13:05Like you're not supposed to do it.
00:13:07It's definitely kind of sort of maybe illegal.
00:13:10This is the ultimate dad activity right here.
00:13:13This is nothing mom got involved with.
00:13:15Oh God, mom, she doesn't even look at it.
00:13:18She's like, no, no, I'm not even going to acknowledge that in the house.
00:13:22But this is something that dad with his other buddies,
00:13:26they've all discussed this and they're all figuring out how to game the system.
00:13:30And one person had some success with it.
00:13:32So now everyone's trying it out.
00:13:35It's too expensive. That's the problem.
00:13:37And there probably isn't, you know,
00:13:39just a multitude of cable providers in your area.
00:13:43Like for us, it was what? Time Warner or Bust?
00:13:47Like you didn't have multiple options until DirecTV and Dish came along.
00:13:52But even then, those were only available in certain parts,
00:13:55in certain towns in Southern Maine.
00:13:57They really could not handle bad weather.
00:13:59So you didn't want to deal with that either.
00:14:01No, I specifically remember we had DirecTV
00:14:05and we were hyped about it because we got the NFL Sunday ticket.
00:14:09I don't know if that's still a thing or not,
00:14:11but it was a really big, big deal.
00:14:14Just imagine a Cowboys fan, a Rams fan, you know,
00:14:18and it's like, oh, well, we can watch all these games at different.
00:14:20Like this is amazing.
00:14:21So that was the like specific reason that we had it.
00:14:24But it pretty much snows in Maine almost seven, eight months out of the year.
00:14:30So I remember distinctly during games being up on the roof
00:14:35with a broom trying to brush the snow off the satellite.
00:14:38And Tim's like, no, no, keep going, get more off it.
00:14:40It's almost back.
00:14:42All right, turn it a little bit this way.
00:14:43I learned that you're supposed to put Pam on like the actual antenna.
00:14:47Like you're supposed to like grease up the antenna
00:14:49so that ice can't stick to it and snow slides right off of it.
00:14:53And apparently that keeps it stable enough.
00:14:56Why didn't we learn that in school?
00:14:58What's this history stuff?
00:14:59Learn to grease up your satellite equipment.
00:15:03So lawmakers got involved.
00:15:05People are complaining about the rapid run up of rates.
00:15:09Government has not been on the side of the cable consumer for the last 30 years.
00:15:14Is that Al Gore?
00:15:15That is Al Gore.
00:15:17Is he trying to take credit for inventing cable as well?
00:15:21He's trying to, he's trying to be like the everyman.
00:15:23He knows our struggle.
00:15:25Right.
00:15:26He knows that cable is just screwing us over.
00:15:30He probably owns the, he probably owns the decipherer.
00:15:33Oh, yeah, definitely.
00:15:35He owns the like decipher beta 3 model that like isn't even out yet.
00:15:41He invented the decipher.
00:15:43Oh, yeah.
00:15:44So cable knew they kind of had us, right?
00:15:47Like how was, how big was it?
00:15:49Because nowadays it's like I don't even need cable.
00:15:51I got the internet.
00:15:52It's got everything I want.
00:15:53But back then when we were growing up, most important thing,
00:15:56your social pariah if you don't have it.
00:15:59Yeah, I mean nowadays like honestly, I mean you hit the nail on the head.
00:16:03I haven't had cable in I don't even know how many years just because it's
00:16:09it's not a necessity like it was back when we were kids like back then you
00:16:14had to have it.
00:16:15It kept you connected.
00:16:16It told you what was new, what was hot, what was cool, what wasn't you had
00:16:20like you needed it and now it's kind of like not really, you know?
00:16:26Yeah, because back then it was like, all right, I'm going to watch wrestling.
00:16:29Well, maybe wrestling might be on one of the free channels at like a really
00:16:34crappy time and far from having the best product like it was like the CD
00:16:39list wrestlers if you had cartoons you had to wait to a certain time of the
00:16:43day, but if you had cable, I mean you can see all the shows you can watch
00:16:48that.
00:16:48You could watch the superstars.
00:16:50You could watch you could watch Rugrats all day.
00:16:53I think Jesus and they did a great job.
00:16:56These are some of the promos that they just throw out there and the
00:16:59whole theme is cable is freaking amazing.
00:17:03You need cable in your life.
00:17:05It's national cable month TV.
00:17:07You gotta see TV.
00:17:09You gotta see why was that Charlie Sheen's mugshot because cables now
00:17:14cables cool.
00:17:15Yep.
00:17:15Cables hot.
00:17:16Look at cables cool.
00:17:17Entertaining cable hot 24 hours a day got cable.
00:17:21So sexy.
00:17:22Yeah, they were hyping it up.
00:17:24You had your TNT in there your USA in there your CNN like you had you had
00:17:29all the big hitters in cable and it's just kind of crazy because when
00:17:34we watch that now we're like, no, it's not I don't I don't I do not
00:17:39need that at all because everything now is straight from the creator
00:17:45to the consumer like more often than not.
00:17:48They kind of have their own streaming platform for you to watch stuff
00:17:50on so cable isn't really a big deal, but they definitely did their job
00:17:56hyping it up right then.
00:17:58It made me want to get it.
00:17:59Telling me that cable doesn't just rock cable is America's choice and
00:18:04April is national cable month TV.
00:18:06You gotta see you gotta see the most choice the best choice AMC from
00:18:11college to the pros 24-hour news.
00:18:14HBO around the corner round the clock and TV from the National Network
00:18:20Yeah, any AMC dude like I don't I don't even know.
00:18:31All right, let's think how many of those cable channels that we saw
00:18:36right then have their own streaming platform essentially anything on
00:18:40any kind of streaming service Nickelodeon's got its own right MTV's
00:18:46part of Paramount, which also has a ton of MTV's side stuff CNN is
00:18:52always being advertised even when I don't want it.
00:18:55I saw Discovery TLC.
00:18:57All those are on the Discovery Plus, which is Spike TV, which then
00:19:03became Paramount then you have USA and I think USA is universal.
00:19:09So that'd be on Peacock.
00:19:12And then the only stuff you're not getting is well, I mean who cares
00:19:16somebody probably recorded it and it's online.
00:19:17Anyway, you don't well, they make me feel terrible about it.
00:19:23Cable is 24-hour news.
00:19:26What in the hell total sports coverage total not even just like partial
00:19:31sports coverage is in tune in touch and it no, but dude, it was completely
00:19:36revolutionary.
00:19:37That's why you have a conductor to show you how how big this all is like
00:19:41to me, I think the invention of on-demand was was so much so much bigger
00:19:49than the invention of cable, but it's not now that I'm going back
00:19:52watching this is because on-demand was built off of cable, but cable
00:19:56was built up itself.
00:19:58So it wasn't only pay-per-view stuff that people were scrambling.
00:20:01It was just regular everyday TV, right?
00:20:04You got to remember probably your basic cable package was 50 60 bucks
00:20:09to too much man.
00:20:12That's that's the problem too much.
00:20:14And then the problem is you get a kid to see this ad and I'm there more
00:20:18susceptible and they're like, oh my God.
00:20:20What am I missing yet?
00:20:22It's got everything and then you market to the adults that like this
00:20:27ad says it's got to make you classy and sophisticated to why settle for
00:20:31a little of something you love when you can have a lot more is this an
00:20:36advertisement for the Bachelor arts and culture than ever you get arts
00:20:41and culture, I guess the hell so and then the other thing too is you
00:20:45can use it as a social status like hey, come over to my house.
00:20:49I have cable.
00:20:50I have all these channels and that kid was always way cooler.
00:20:54Yeah, we can watch all the big games at my place.
00:20:57We can watch the big shows.
00:20:58I got everything over here and you think about it to like, all right,
00:21:02this kid's a jerk or I don't like her.
00:21:05But dude, you know how many things I could watch over there, right?
00:21:09I go home.
00:21:10I'm not seeing any of this stuff.
00:21:12No, and then, you know, the people who are dating at this time.
00:21:16Well, you know what bitches love?
00:21:19Bitches love cable cable.
00:21:21Yep.
00:21:22That's how I get them all.
00:21:23I tell him, hey, do you want to come to my place and watch cable?
00:21:26What?
00:21:27Come on.
00:21:30Cable TV turns me on.
00:21:31Oh gosh, lady.
00:21:36Cable TV.
00:21:36This is ridiculous.
00:21:40Oh my gosh, they're going there.
00:21:42Cable TV.
00:21:43Seagal, you got Goofy.
00:21:47Dude, it's gonna, this is nuts.
00:21:49It's gonna turn you on.
00:21:51And then if you're a kid, you're getting advertised this channel.
00:22:02Oh, slimed.
00:22:06Call 1-800-OK-CABLE.
00:22:09Yes, I'd like Nickelodeon, please.
00:22:13They got the kid on the ad to tell the other kids.
00:22:16Tell your parents you want Nickelodeon.
00:22:18And then your dad's like, ha, I'm not paying for that.
00:22:23I'll just go see Timmy.
00:22:25He'll hook me up with the Decipher 2.
00:22:27And in the early days, like some of these channels you think have been
00:22:30around forever, you had to order them and you had to make sure that
00:22:33they came to your part of the world.
00:22:36So Nickelodeon wasn't everywhere.
00:22:38MTV wasn't everywhere.
00:22:40Nope.
00:22:41So they had to get people to want to see their channel.
00:22:44And how do you do that?
00:22:46You get big stars.
00:22:47Is that Bill Cosby?
00:22:49So an early Nickelodeon show, you would have saw.
00:22:58What is he doing?
00:23:00Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
00:23:05That was the kind of quality content they wanted to get you to pay for.
00:23:10What is going on?
00:23:11Because the regular quality content you would get, you know, on your
00:23:16basic channels was still stuff like this.
00:23:19And this is just too old fashioned for me, even though I love it.
00:23:23Just when you thought you had the best price on vinyl siding and
00:23:26replacement windows, along comes the Aluminum Siding Corporation.
00:23:35That's cable for you, man.
00:23:36They got those great ads, man.
00:23:38What in the world was that?
00:23:41And how long was that company in like in business?
00:23:44Not long, right?
00:23:45Let's be real.
00:23:46I think they stuck around forever with that quality jingle.
00:23:51And then you get access to all the best movies, stuff like your major
00:23:58blockbusters behind the paywall, but then they'd have to build their
00:24:02content in other ways.
00:24:03So, you know, let's just get every movie out there to watch.
00:24:07I'm pretty sure you've seen so many crappy movies just because they
00:24:12needed to kill time.
00:24:13Yeah.
00:24:14Would you watch this one?
00:24:15I'll tell you.
00:24:20I definitely recognize her.
00:24:30That's a big problem.
00:24:31What?
00:24:33Why have I never heard of that?
00:24:34Have you?
00:24:35No, but it seems like a porno starring Dan Aykroyd more than a movie.
00:24:39No, it does.
00:24:41That's bizarre, bro.
00:24:43I don't know.
00:24:44I don't know what to make of that, but I'm kind of curious to watch
00:24:46it now.
00:24:47Dan, you have a problem, okay?
00:24:49You see ghosts everywhere.
00:24:51He gets ghost blowjobs and Ghostbusters 1, and now his stepmother's
00:24:58an alien.
00:24:58This is bizarre.
00:25:01So finally we get to that point where, all right, we're going to do
00:25:06this.
00:25:06We are going to steal cable.
00:25:08And the cable company thinks that you're a loser.
00:25:12You sound a lot like this guy.
00:25:14I've got a great way to save a few bucks.
00:25:16I've been doing it for months.
00:25:20It's easy.
00:25:22So what?
00:25:22If I get cable without paying, right?
00:25:25He's just saving a couple bucks.
00:25:26No big deal.
00:25:27Exactly.
00:25:29It's no big deal.
00:25:29They're making him out like the biggest criminal, and he's just
00:25:33like, I don't know.
00:25:34He just seems like a guy who's losing so much at life that this
00:25:38is the one.
00:25:39This is where he gets went over on them.
00:25:41Exactly.
00:25:42Like, this is the uncle you're talking about that nobody hangs
00:25:46around with.
00:25:47You don't see him that often.
00:25:48Yeah.
00:25:49And then he pulls you to the side and he's telling, like, the
00:25:52nine-year-old how bad the cable company is screwing you.
00:25:54Oh, yeah.
00:25:55They are.
00:25:56And then you're just like, all right, when can I leave?
00:25:59When can I leave?
00:26:00I have this hot dog on my plate.
00:26:02I just want to go over there.
00:26:03Yeah.
00:26:04I don't know what the cable company is doing.
00:26:05I don't have a job.
00:26:09Besides, what have I got to lose?
00:26:13Oh, $2,000 in jail time to get cable the legal way.
00:26:18I'm going to get caught.
00:26:22Never.
00:26:24You like the face at the end.
00:26:28No one's going to catch him out of all the hundreds of thousands
00:26:31of people doing this.
00:26:32No, no.
00:26:34And that guy's they're going to settle for, like, I don't know,
00:26:38maybe a letter that says, hey, we'll forget about it for 300
00:26:41bucks or something, right?
00:26:43And then this guy's going to grumble, pay it, and then I don't
00:26:46know, try it again in three years.
00:26:48The cable company, I think, had no respect for anyone who would
00:26:51steal from them.
00:26:51So every ad makes these guys seem like the biggest losers.
00:26:54I'm going to hook up his TV to cable without paying for it.
00:26:59Look at this guy.
00:27:00His first cousin is the converter converter.
00:27:03He's trying to modify his cable TV.
00:27:06Do I know how to use this computer?
00:27:08Right.
00:27:09This old man would not be doing this.
00:27:13He'd say, I'm fine with my black and white screen.
00:27:15I don't care.
00:27:17He wouldn't be tinkering with his cable box.
00:27:20Yeah, it's really odd how they think that this old man is so
00:27:25worked up about not having cable that he's going to go tinker
00:27:27with the box.
00:27:28They're not going to pull one over on me.
00:27:30I'll show them.
00:27:33Marge, where's the flathead?
00:27:35No, not the I need the flathead.
00:27:38Oh, this flathead is too big.
00:27:40We need one of the smaller flatheads.
00:27:42What'd you call me?
00:27:44So you know what happens to him now?
00:27:46What?
00:27:47Every state in the country has laws that make stealing cable
00:27:51service a crime punishable by substantial fines in some cases.
00:27:56Clearly only the cable company knows how to operate this stuff.
00:27:59Yeah, so that's why don't think stealing because it is.
00:28:06Oh, I'm stupid.
00:28:08Don't guess.
00:28:10I'll call the co-op cable operator.
00:28:13Yeah, you must be the phone man.
00:28:19Now the problem is if you call this cable operator, some of them
00:28:23just aren't the friendly people you think they are.
00:28:26No, and I would think like the cable company would go out of their
00:28:30way to make you think like, oh, these are just friendly people.
00:28:34But this ad, I'm pretty sure that this guy is going to straight
00:28:38murder this dude.
00:28:39There is no life behind this cable operator's eyes.
00:28:43Yeah, we're checking the lines for cable theft, really cracking
00:28:47down, fines, convictions.
00:28:49Before you embarrass yourself and get caught in the audit, come
00:28:52on down. Call TCI today and legalize your connection.
00:28:55No questions asked.
00:28:56I'm the cable man.
00:28:57The audit is underway.
00:28:58I'm the captain now.
00:28:59And if you're still here.
00:29:01Like, this guy's like, he went up there.
00:29:03He thought he had a great idea.
00:29:05He's going to take over the actual lines.
00:29:08Right.
00:29:08Like, these guys had a box.
00:29:10This guy, he's going a step further.
00:29:12He's climbing up poles.
00:29:14People didn't actually do that, did they?
00:29:18I never saw anybody on the street being like, you know what I really
00:29:21want to do?
00:29:21I want to go climb that pole and tinker with the entire neighborhood's
00:29:25reception.
00:29:26Right, because if the lines up there, it has to come down to the
00:29:30house anyway.
00:29:31So split the line from the house.
00:29:32Oh boy, the cable guy here.
00:29:34What do you think he was the inspiration for?
00:29:37The Cable Guy movie?
00:29:39I think that is absolutely correct.
00:29:42All right.
00:29:43Yeah, we're checking the lines for cable theft.
00:29:45Really cracking down.
00:29:46Fines, convictions.
00:29:48Before you embarrass yourself and get caught in the audit, come on
00:29:51down.
00:29:52Call TCI today and legalize your connection.
00:29:54No questions asked.
00:29:55Look at him just snowbusted.
00:29:56The audit is underway.
00:29:57I'm counting to ten.
00:29:58And if you're still here.
00:30:00I'm up a pole without a paddle?
00:30:01Close enough.
00:30:05That's a good ad.
00:30:06Yeah, but you look at that guy and you're like, well, that nerd's
00:30:08going to get caught.
00:30:09Not me though.
00:30:10Oh, exactly.
00:30:11Like I'm a little more suave and slick than this guy.
00:30:15I'm not going to go up the pole while the cable man's there.
00:30:19No, if you even saw that thing coming down the street, because
00:30:21that's a big van with a lot of equipment on it.
00:30:24A giant ladder on it.
00:30:26And it's got to say TCI and huge letters on the side.
00:30:29Yep.
00:30:30And if you saw that guy coming, I would already be on alert.
00:30:33Even if he was out of uniform.
00:30:34See how crazy his eyes are.
00:30:36Yeah, he was definitely not somebody you want to go out and have
00:30:40some beers with.
00:30:41Well, Jim Carrey must have studied him for some method acting.
00:30:44Yep.
00:30:44One thing.
00:30:45I have this friend and he gave his cable guy $50 and then he got
00:30:50all the movie channels for free.
00:30:52Did you ever hear of anything like that?
00:30:56You stealing from TCI?
00:30:59You stealing from TCI?
00:31:02How dare you even ask me?
00:31:05Now, do you think the cable company thought that you, you would
00:31:12steal from them?
00:31:12Absolutely not.
00:31:14That's what you're wrong.
00:31:15Everyone is a potential criminal.
00:31:17What?
00:31:19These people are talking about breaking the law.
00:31:21No, they're not.
00:31:23They're talking about stealing.
00:31:24They're talking about the game on Sunday.
00:31:26I think you're looking way too far into that.
00:31:35That is one paranoid owner of a cable company.
00:31:38That guy's thinking of stealing.
00:31:40She's thinking of stealing.
00:31:41Steven, go home.
00:31:44Go home.
00:31:45Yeah, like when in theory, he's probably thinking, man, I should
00:31:49have got that promotion that, you know, Alex so-and-so doesn't
00:31:54deserve it.
00:31:54And then this woman's like, I went on this blind date and it was
00:31:58terrible.
00:31:58They could be talking about anything.
00:32:00Just for you to just quickly assume that, oh, they're definitely
00:32:03talking about stealing our cable.
00:32:05It's just crazy.
00:32:07Well, in Comcast world, we need to live in a surveillance state.
00:32:11So if I have to go through all this trouble just to get some pictures.
00:32:15Alright, that one guy looks like he might be.
00:32:18That's the guy selling the illegal cable.
00:32:20Oh, yeah.
00:32:20Illegal cable is a crime and we'll treat it that way.
00:32:24I think they have more important things to look out for in Baltimore
00:32:27than stealing cable.
00:32:28Right.
00:32:28Now this one upset me because honestly, I think if the guy in this
00:32:33commercial just would have hung out with the bros, this whole
00:32:37situation would have been avoided.
00:32:38Yeah?
00:32:39Yeah.
00:32:40Working hard or hardly working, Shiny?
00:32:45So, alright, it seems like the boss is kind of a jerk, right?
00:32:48Yeah, he's kind of just a tool.
00:32:51I mean, he's just picking on this bootleg George Costanza, but then
00:32:55you're like, well, other people must like him because he's going to
00:32:58have a party with his friends.
00:32:59Hey, anybody want to watch the fight at my house this weekend?
00:33:03Charlie knows somebody who hooked up his cable.
00:33:06Gets all the pay channels for free.
00:33:08It's a beautiful thing.
00:33:10What if someone turns you in?
00:33:11Who's going to turn me in?
00:33:14I think you've seen this commercial.
00:33:16Get out of here.
00:33:17Who's going to turn me in?
00:33:19Back to work, Shiny.
00:33:23Maybe the guy you've been ragging on all day.
00:33:26Report Cable Theft.
00:33:27Oh gosh, he's going to the CableTheftReport.com snitch.
00:33:32I don't care what you say.
00:33:33That guy is a snitch and I like him the least in this commercial.
00:33:38You gotta admit, his boss is kind of a dinkhole, but for you to
00:33:43really go to CableTheft.com to report him, it's like, alright,
00:33:47that's just, come on.
00:33:49That's like when somebody posts online, they're like, am I the
00:33:51asshole in this situation?
00:33:52And you read the story and you're like, well, you're not the
00:33:55asshole, but you aren't the innocent angel either.
00:33:58Exactly.
00:33:59Like, who knows what that guy on his computer was doing?
00:34:02Maybe like all week, he's been stalling on the project that
00:34:05they're supposed to be working on.
00:34:06And today, the boss just kind of had it with him.
00:34:08And he's all like, how dare you criticize how I work?
00:34:11You steal cable.
00:34:15I wonder if those sites are around still.
00:34:17Do you think?
00:34:18No.
00:34:20Geez.
00:34:22Alright, you know what?
00:34:23I'm going to make an edit.
00:34:24If you see it here, I'm going to check online and screen record
00:34:27it. CableTheft.com.
00:34:30Now, if I was to tell you that I stole cable, what would your
00:34:33reaction be?
00:34:35I'm not surprised.
00:34:36Would you shame me or would you say, hey, what did you get?
00:34:40I'd say, is it easy to get and how can I get my hands on it?
00:34:45So you wouldn't be like this friend group.
00:34:48Do you really think it is stealing?
00:34:51Yeah, I mean, it's not Grand Theft Auto, but Cable Theft is
00:34:55definitely stealing.
00:34:56Oh, please.
00:34:57I'm with her.
00:34:58Geez, it's not the end of the world.
00:35:01Come on.
00:35:01It's not Grand Theft Auto, but it's like saying it's not it's
00:35:07not murder, but you're still stealing.
00:35:10It's still illegal.
00:35:11Technically, you're right, but it's like, all right, come on
00:35:14now. You could be doing a lot worse.
00:35:16Kick this 90s Karen out of your house for just being that whiny.
00:35:20And then she's about to throw away a friendship over this
00:35:23whole stealing cable thing.
00:35:25Take you on your conscience and hit the door.
00:35:28Did you steal these?
00:35:29Look, I'm sorry I brought it up.
00:35:30Fine, me too.
00:35:31We just never thought of it as stealing.
00:35:34No, we didn't.
00:35:35No, we didn't.
00:35:37Stealing cable is a crime.
00:35:39To legalize your connection, no questions asked.
00:35:42Call today.
00:35:43Are those my earrings?
00:35:45All right, suddenly.
00:35:48Okay, this is getting a little bit.
00:35:50Are those my earrings?
00:35:51It's like, well, you stole cable.
00:35:53Maybe you'll steal my valuables.
00:35:55She's like, lady, get a grip.
00:35:56And also the funniest part about that is if this commercial
00:36:01were recorded from somebody stealing cable, that would be the
00:36:06best. Yes, it would be.
00:36:07Now, I don't think that lady or any person was alone in doing
00:36:12this. Screw this into the connector right here.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15Yeah, then that goes into that.
00:36:16There you go.
00:36:17All right.
00:36:18You know, industry sources say that nearly half the homes hooked
00:36:21up to cable are ripping off the signal.
00:36:23Good to know, MacGyver.
00:36:25Good to know, brother.
00:36:27Now, earlier you were talking about how the place you were
00:36:30living at, everybody was stealing the same signal, right?
00:36:33Yeah, it was like one person was paying for it, but everybody
00:36:38was splicing off the next one.
00:36:40Well, Ken Griffey Jr.
00:36:41Here has a problem with it.
00:36:43Why?
00:36:43Who's stealing his cable?
00:36:45I get service calls like this all the time.
00:36:47Guy down the street makes an illegal cable connection.
00:36:50And all of a sudden, your picture isn't what it used to be.
00:36:53No, that's not all he has to say.
00:36:54He wants you to snitch on your neighbors.
00:36:56Illegal connections and receivers can leak signal and play
00:36:59havoc with reception all through the neighborhood.
00:37:01Think about it.
00:37:03They steal cable and your picture gets messed up.
00:37:06Victimless crime.
00:37:08What do you think?
00:37:10Well, I mean, no.
00:37:11I'd be pissed if somebody were stealing it for me or I would
00:37:15go to them and say, look, throw me 20 bucks a month and we'll
00:37:19call it good.
00:37:20It used to be so bad where I lived that we didn't like if
00:37:25a person changed the channel in their room, it would change
00:37:31the channel for the next person because they didn't have
00:37:34their own individual box.
00:37:36People like, hey, I'm watching this.
00:37:39What's going on?
00:37:40That's how bad it was.
00:37:42If you didn't have your own individual box, you can only change
00:37:44channels on your TV and whatever line you were taking from
00:37:47them was coming from their box.
00:37:49So if they changed it, you had to watch whatever they were
00:37:52watching. You didn't have a choice.
00:37:55So this ad, I think actually it's perfect because it's not
00:37:58playing up that, oh, you're helping the cable company or, oh,
00:38:02this is just the right thing to do.
00:38:04This one is just saying, yo, they're messing with your signal
00:38:07because if you pay, well, why should they get it for free?
00:38:11Playing up the selfish angle.
00:38:13Yep.
00:38:14Yep.
00:38:14You're not a better person.
00:38:16You're just the person who paid for it.
00:38:17So you should get what you paid for.
00:38:18Uh-huh.
00:38:19Now, it wasn't just stealing cable.
00:38:21Eventually, you stole satellite signal and I found out that
00:38:25they could detect that as well.
00:38:27So if you were to get a pirated signal and they found out about
00:38:32it, it would bring you to a specialized signal just for you.
00:38:37The pirate.
00:38:38Are you serious?
00:38:42Oh my goodness.
00:38:44Yep.
00:38:47Why is the rum always gone?
00:38:50Hi, you've tuned in to Dish Network's Pirate TV and you've been
00:38:54enjoying the first-rate programming of entertainment, news, weather,
00:38:57and sports.
00:38:57Is this for real?
00:38:58The only thing Dish Network can offer to its subscribers.
00:39:01But did you know that you were not a legitimate subscriber?
00:39:04That's right.
00:39:05I'm speaking to you on a channel that only viewers who are legally
00:39:09obtaining the Dish Network can see.
00:39:10Dude, low-key, this would terrify me.
00:39:13That is when you're like 12 and you go, oh, what did I do?
00:39:17Oh, no.
00:39:17Oh, no.
00:39:17Oh, no.
00:39:18Oh, no.
00:39:18Oh, no.
00:39:18Like, have you ever gotten that very stern email from the, you
00:39:23know, internet company?
00:39:26That's like, we noticed this type of whatever you're up to and
00:39:31you need to stop.
00:39:32But if this actually popped up on its own individual channel
00:39:36specifically aimed at, I would, dude, I would have peed my pants.
00:39:39No, you couldn't Darryl and hide behind an ISP from another
00:39:44country.
00:39:45So that last lady was a little more comforting.
00:39:48She kind of gave this like mom older sister vibe of what you're
00:39:52doing is wrong.
00:39:52This guy straight up terrifies me.
00:39:55Hello, you're watching Dish Network's Pirate TV channel.
00:39:59Take a seat.
00:40:00Did you know you're not an authorized subscriber?
00:40:02What are you doing here?
00:40:04Geez, I will say though.
00:40:06I would have loved to have been the actor that got to got to be
00:40:09on camera for these and to be like, so did you really think
00:40:13you were going to get away with this?
00:40:15Did you really think you were just going to splice somebody
00:40:17else's dish signal and get away scot-free?
00:40:22We're coming for you.
00:40:23Not only you, every person in your family, everyone that sleeps
00:40:27in that apartment.
00:40:28You're all going to prison.
00:40:30Not grandpa.
00:40:31He just watches the Golf Channel, especially grandpa, but
00:40:37Dish Mommy here.
00:40:38She's just upset.
00:40:40She didn't think that you were the type of person who would
00:40:43steal Dish signal.
00:40:44She's just disappointed in you.
00:40:47We know you were not an authorized viewer of the Dish Network
00:40:50signal.
00:40:51Unfortunately, how do you know that the system and programming
00:40:54you purchased was sold to you by someone who was not authorized
00:40:58to tell us where you got that signal from Johnny.
00:41:00Tell us.
00:41:00Yeah, this isn't my fault.
00:41:02This is their fault.
00:41:03Claiming to be an authorized dealer telling you that they could
00:41:06also sell you discounted programming packages.
00:41:09Yeah, I thought they worked for you.
00:41:11You just wait to your Dish father comes home with his Patrick
00:41:15Bateman like inner rage.
00:41:17Oh, no, right.
00:41:18I'm speaking to you on a channel that only someone receiving
00:41:20programming without proper authorization can view.
00:41:24So if you're watching me, you're a satellite pirate.
00:41:27How do I become a satellite pirate?
00:41:29Right?
00:41:29How can I get that jacket?
00:41:31I just feel like this guy is holding back an inner rage.
00:41:34No, he really is.
00:41:35Like he wants to murder things.
00:41:38Now we understand that some of you may not even realize you've
00:41:40been receiving Dish Network programming without proper authorization,
00:41:43but the fact that you're seeing this channel right now means
00:41:46the receiver you're using has been modified to receive programming
00:41:49without payment to Dish Network.
00:41:51Yeah, see this isn't my fault.
00:41:53I thought that I purchased this from Dish.
00:41:57Stupid me.
00:41:58I thought it was all legitimate.
00:42:00If I see you around Dish again without proper identification
00:42:05and a pretty much for signal, you will never see your father
00:42:08again.
00:42:09Oh my God.
00:42:11Who is the who is he Dexter?
00:42:16That's it.
00:42:17I want my Dish mom back.
00:42:19Yeah, you're receiving stolen signals.
00:42:22Now.
00:42:22What do you do?
00:42:23It's simple.
00:42:24Yeah, Dish Network is offering you the opportunity to sign up
00:42:27now.
00:42:27Good cop, bad cop.
00:42:29Yeah, without penalty or consequence.
00:42:31Oh, you're not in any trouble.
00:42:32Just sign up now and pay for it.
00:42:34333 Dish in order programming legally.
00:42:37Once you've called and become authorized.
00:42:39You can know my question is, is this something that they're
00:42:41still battling in 2021?
00:42:44Programming.
00:42:45Absolutely.
00:42:46It's got to be.
00:42:47Millions of legitimate Dish Network.
00:42:48I gotta think there's got to be like different ways to hack
00:42:52even now.
00:42:53Well, I know, I know you can do the, you know, you can jailbreak
00:42:58your Amazon Fire Stick and you can essentially do the same
00:43:02thing, but all online.
00:43:06And then also with DirecTV and Dish you get passwords so you
00:43:10can log in on your, you know, iPad or your MacBook or whatever
00:43:14and you can watch even if you're not at home.
00:43:17So you got to think people are sharing their passwords so you
00:43:20can watch Dish or watch DirecTV, right?
00:43:24Yeah.
00:43:25Well, and then you get your ISP address and everything else
00:43:27like that.
00:43:28And then they can kind of track the amount of users.
00:43:31And then if you're like using a VPN or something in another
00:43:33country, I mean, they know that you're doing something to
00:43:37work around it.
00:43:38Yep.
00:43:39So they're trying to figure that out.
00:43:40So like we were talking about a certain somebody who gets a
00:43:43lot of letters, even though they're behind a VPN, they know
00:43:46something is messed up.
00:43:48So we get to this point where it's like, do you trust them
00:43:52that they're going to give you amnesty?
00:43:54If you were to be like, all right, I confess I was stealing
00:43:56the whole time.
00:43:57I'll pay for it now.
00:43:59I think anybody that this would happen to, they're just
00:44:03going to play dumb.
00:44:04I didn't know.
00:44:04I thought this guy worked for you.
00:44:07I didn't know it was illegal.
00:44:09What do you mean?
00:44:10Well, we have 50 ads stating that this is like a highly
00:44:13illegal procedure.
00:44:16I never saw those.
00:44:18What channel?
00:44:19All of them.
00:44:21I don't watch commercials.
00:44:22Are you sure about that?
00:44:24Our customer service representatives will treat you with
00:44:27the same respect and courtesy.
00:44:28They would treat any other returning customer who already
00:44:30has equipment and is ready to start after you put a knife
00:44:33in my back.
00:44:34You want to know what I'm honestly waiting for is Hulk Hogan
00:44:39or Ric Flair to tell me how terrible stealing cable is.
00:44:43I have a feeling that's coming up at some point.
00:44:46Unfortunately, no real celebrity wants to come out and
00:44:50lecture you on this.
00:44:52They'll lecture you on other stuff, but when it comes to
00:44:55playing hardball and getting you to pay up, these people
00:44:59are going to do the Mafia-like tactics.
00:45:01Should you choose not to contact us and become a subscriber
00:45:04in the future, you will lose your investment in the equipment
00:45:07you purchased and there will be no amnesty period available.
00:45:12Okay, so you've discarded the illegal equipment.
00:45:14Here's your options.
00:45:16Yeah, now you're an authorized subscriber.
00:45:18You pay us and we break your arm.
00:45:21This is what you're going to do and you're going to like
00:45:23it. That may be impossible.
00:45:24The only way to get your money back from the individual who
00:45:27sold you the illegal equipment is to contact them and request
00:45:31a refund.
00:45:32And if you can't contact them, and unfortunately, you probably
00:45:35won't be able to, your only recourse is to contact your local
00:45:38law enforcement officials to file a complaint.
00:45:42Now, maybe you're arrogant enough.
00:45:44Maybe you're like the person we talked about earlier who
00:45:46hides down their VPN and just thinks they're above it, that
00:45:50they're not going to get caught.
00:45:52Oh, it'll never happen to me.
00:45:54Well, guess what, Bub?
00:45:56They're on to you.
00:45:57You should also know that Dish Network is nearing the end
00:45:59of a massive upgrade to a new secure programming access
00:46:03card. You may have already noticed that you're no longer
00:46:05receiving the majority of our programming.
00:46:08Dang it.
00:46:08They got rid of my Playboy and Spice.
00:46:11They're on to you, Bub.
00:46:13Don't be tricked into wasting your money on new devices
00:46:16in hopes of regaining programming.
00:46:18New electronic countermeasures are being implemented to
00:46:20shut down this type of equipment.
00:46:22Yeah, and your countermeasures will always be countermeasured.
00:46:27Like, there's just a never-ending game.
00:46:30It's a never-ending cycle.
00:46:33They found the most emotionless guy to deliver this news.
00:46:36Yeah, it's like, all right, here's how they stopped us.
00:46:38Here's how we can get around it.
00:46:39All right, here's how they stopped that.
00:46:41Here's how we can get around this.
00:46:43So, are you going to give up your life of crime?
00:46:46Dish Network understands that you may be the victim of
00:46:49unscrupulous...
00:46:49You don't want to disappoint mom here.
00:46:51I am the victim.
00:46:52I didn't know what I was doing was illegal.
00:46:55Anyone receiving unauthorized programming...
00:46:57Amnesty, amnesty.
00:46:59The white flag.
00:47:00...of Dish Network programming with no questions asked.
00:47:04No, this guy, he said he worked for Dish.
00:47:07He sold this box to my wife, and I had no idea.
00:47:13And you know what?
00:47:15You don't seem like the type of person who'd steal.
00:47:18You're not a bad person.
00:47:19Hulk Hogan's not going to come out and lecture you not to
00:47:21steal. This lady will.
00:47:24I don't think it's right to steal, even if it's little stuff.
00:47:27When you steal little stuff, you're going to go to big stuff
00:47:29because you think you're never going to get caught.
00:47:32Ah, she makes a good point.
00:47:35You just look like the type of person who was raised proper.
00:47:38As a parent, you are the greatest influence in your child's
00:47:41life.
00:47:42You set examples of what's right and wrong.
00:47:44I do.
00:47:44Stealing cable TV is not only wrong.
00:47:47It's a federal crime.
00:47:49What kind of example are you setting for your children?
00:47:52The example I'm setting is don't let the cable company bully
00:47:56you into a corner.
00:47:57Because then they just, they're just setting a bad example
00:47:59for the kids.
00:48:02Right.
00:48:03And you don't want to set a bad example for the kids because
00:48:05they could turn out like this.
00:48:10Is that Ryan?
00:48:12No, he just steals socks.
00:48:16Yeah, yeah, I did.
00:48:19Wow, they took this to another level.
00:48:21Wow.
00:48:27Chocolate bar.
00:48:29They literally took this kid home for a chocolate bar.
00:48:33And then he's going to say, well, it could go from a chocolate
00:48:37bar today, a convertible Corvette tomorrow.
00:48:40We don't know.
00:48:42You wouldn't steal a car.
00:48:44I mean, if I had the opportunity to, if the perfect scenario
00:48:47presented itself, I mean.
00:48:52I want to see him spank him.
00:48:54Just give him an old-fashioned woman.
00:48:58Then where on earth did you learn to steal?
00:49:00Where did he learn to steal?
00:49:03Well, from, from, from, from, from you dad.
00:49:08You sure didn't learn it from me.
00:49:11Yeah, I did.
00:49:13You steal satellite signals.
00:49:24You know, parents suck.
00:49:26Why don't we just let TV raise the child?
00:49:28If you're not cheating, you're not trying to.
00:49:30I am concerned about what they're watching.
00:49:32Young minds take in a great deal of what they see and we can't
00:49:36always be there to check.
00:49:38Face it.
00:49:39Your kids are going to grow up with TV.
00:49:41Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Ann.
00:49:42I couldn't be happier that cable has these channels and shows
00:49:45specially for young people.
00:49:47I like the face it.
00:49:49Your kids are going to grow up with TV.
00:49:50Just give in.
00:49:51Just give in.
00:49:52Just yeah, just yeah, hang it up.
00:49:54It's over.
00:49:56Obviously the cable company is going to be a better parent
00:49:58than you are.
00:49:59And you know what?
00:50:00There are times I'm happy just to sit down and watch right
00:50:03along with them.
00:50:05Cable TV bringing it all home.
00:50:08And earlier we said, you know, why do they make the cable
00:50:11company guys seem like such creeps who are going to murder
00:50:14you? Can't we just find a guy who looks like he's there to
00:50:17help you out?
00:50:19Yeah.
00:50:20Now tell me if you've ever had a cable operator work at as
00:50:24hard at his job as this guy right here.
00:50:26Can I get by?
00:50:26I have to be at a service call in five minutes.
00:50:29Nah, you're going to have to take the detour.
00:50:32The detour?
00:50:34Come on.
00:50:35God damn it.
00:50:37He's got a job to do.
00:50:38Yeah, right.
00:50:39He said between one and five.
00:50:42Yeah, and you know, they always will show up at 459 and just
00:50:46leave a little note on the door.
00:50:48Sorry.
00:50:48We missed you.
00:50:50And there's just because they poorly planned it.
00:50:52But this guy in this commercial, if he said, hey, listen,
00:50:55a lot of things happen.
00:50:56This is why I showed up late.
00:50:57I believe it.
00:50:58Yeah.
00:51:03Oh my God.
00:51:04It's Paperboy's sequel, Cableman.
00:51:07Yeah, I'd play that game.
00:51:10He's still on the run, man.
00:51:12He's not giving up.
00:51:13No, but he's still going to help out the community, even though
00:51:16he has a job to do.
00:51:22What's wrong?
00:51:23My cat's stuck in the tree.
00:51:24Fine.
00:51:25Gosh, I'm going to be at this place here in three minutes.
00:51:30Here's your cat, kid.
00:51:32The sprinkler got him.
00:51:35Is he going to make it on time?
00:51:37I don't know.
00:51:38That clock is getting pretty close to when he was scheduled
00:51:41to be at this lady's place.
00:51:42Yep.
00:51:44Is she going to get her CNN?
00:51:47Oh, yeah, he made it.
00:51:48He's there.
00:51:50He made it.
00:51:51Hi, I'm Ray from TCI Cable.
00:51:52I'm looking.
00:51:54Oh, nice of you to show up.
00:51:58He completely no-sells it, too.
00:51:59He's like, man, you wouldn't believe what I just had to do
00:52:02to get here.
00:52:03Somebody get that man a new contract.
00:52:06Wow, you are completely on time.
00:52:09Yeah.
00:52:11I mean, he put all his effort into this commercial and she
00:52:13put none of it.
00:52:15None, none at all.
00:52:18He went 110.
00:52:19She went negative 10.
00:52:20Yeah.
00:52:21So with all this evidence, Jeff, are you still thinking about
00:52:24stealing cable?
00:52:26Do you want to turn to a life of crime?
00:52:28You know, other people get caught, but not me.
00:52:32Come on, little old me.
00:52:34No way.
00:52:36I'll still give it a shot.
00:52:37Well, this guy's job is to make sure that you don't even give
00:52:40it a second thought.
00:52:42Oh, sure.
00:52:42You may save 20, 30 bucks a month, maybe more if you get
00:52:45some of the pay-per-view events, but getting caught will cost
00:52:49you.
00:52:50Unauthorized use of a scrambled cable signal is a federal
00:52:53crime.
00:52:54If you steal it for your own home, you can be fined up to
00:52:57$2,000 and get six months in federal prison.
00:53:00If you steal it and charge others for it, that's a fine of
00:53:03up to $50,000 and up to two years in the pen.
00:53:07So not only would you be stealing, but you'd be dealing.
00:53:11Gotcha.
00:53:12No, you usually just steal cable for yourself.
00:53:16Except for decipher guy.
00:53:18Oh, yeah.
00:53:19He's a he's a dude.
00:53:20You got to respect him.
00:53:21The guy's an entrepreneur.
00:53:26Look at all that illegal equipment.
00:53:28It's a felony.
00:53:29Felony.
00:53:36Golly.
00:53:3850 grand.
00:53:40And the next reality show, Cappy the Cable Hunter.
00:53:59Take some of that face out of your voice when you talk to
00:54:01me, Cappy.
00:54:02Call us before the police.
00:54:03Call you.
00:54:05Call us for the police.
00:54:06Call you.
00:54:08Tuesdays, NBC 8 o'clock, you know, you know how now they
00:54:12do those live cop shows where they're just like a 24-hour
00:54:16feed of just police out doing their job.
00:54:19Can there be ones that are just specific for people stealing
00:54:23cable?
00:54:23That's just live.
00:54:25Even if there isn't a lot like happening.
00:54:28I just want to be able to watch this.
00:54:30No, no, no.
00:54:31I can't go to jail.
00:54:32The decipher is only to get the home shopping channel and
00:54:35only the home shopping channel.
00:54:37I don't have any responsibility for what they do after that.
00:54:40Well, ma'am, you're going to have to tell us where you got
00:54:42this from and we'll be willing to make you a deal.
00:54:45I got it from my husband's brother, Jared.
00:54:48Jared said it's okay.
00:54:50Yeah.
00:54:51Well, this guy says it's not okay.
00:54:54As cable coverage more and more of the country, more time
00:54:56and money is going to be spent catching cable crooks knowing
00:55:00your risk and the price you may pay if you get caught will
00:55:03give you the legal edge.
00:55:06Oh Michael James Bryant.
00:55:08Okay.
00:55:11Why did you mess with our signal?
00:55:12Yeah, what did it?
00:55:13Why did what was the point of that?
00:55:15Just a dramatic outro.
00:55:17Now you seem like the type of person who'd plead ignorance,
00:55:19right?
00:55:20Oh, yeah.
00:55:21I had no idea.
00:55:23What?
00:55:23Wait, who?
00:55:24Well, our attorney here.
00:55:26He's going to let you know your options at this point or a
00:55:28second exception.
00:55:29If you think you can prove you had no clue, you are violating
00:55:32federal laws, but that shock can actually reduce somebody got
00:55:36fancy dollars.
00:55:38And if you think stealing the all the angles, you should try
00:55:41making or selling one of these black boxes.
00:55:43Whoops.
00:55:44I would never try to make one.
00:55:46That's just too much work.
00:55:48Why do you add whoops at the end?
00:55:49Like wait, were we supposed to get that in the shot or yeah,
00:55:52whoops.
00:55:52I shouldn't have made this illegal satellite box.
00:55:55Yeah.
00:55:56So at least if you're going to steal the signal, don't go
00:55:58making the black boxes.
00:56:00That's where your trouble starts.
00:56:01No, a conviction could mean a fine of up to $500,000.
00:56:06Okay.
00:56:06I thought it was 50,000 out in two years violation.
00:56:10One last thing.
00:56:10I got serious.
00:56:11Also, as the years went on company to recover a turn because
00:56:14people just didn't stop.
00:56:15They didn't care.
00:56:16If the fine and the damage award are small, the legal fees
00:56:19could be 10 times that amount.
00:56:21I mean, you know how it why are you talking to me while I'm
00:56:23outside?
00:56:25What is this?
00:56:26Just sit him down in the chair and just talk to me.
00:56:29He came to lecture you like he's still going on about how
00:56:33much I'd have to pay if they caught me.
00:56:35I'm going outside to garden.
00:56:36You just keep talking.
00:56:38Yeah, just keep letting it roll, man.
00:56:40I don't know.
00:56:41I don't even watch TV.
00:56:43The house is filled with books.
00:56:45Yeah, there is an amnesty program.
00:56:48So the last thing I'll remind you people is if you're stealing
00:56:51the cable currently, but also you can redeem yourself call
00:56:58Chambers cable.
00:56:58Now during our amnesty program will properly install your
00:57:02cable services free of charge.
00:57:04No questions asked.
00:57:05No fines.
00:57:06No jail sentences.
00:57:08No, this is a commercial brought to you and paid for by a
00:57:10scammer.
00:57:12Absolutely.
00:57:13Oh, yes.
00:57:14This is the low rent attorney.
00:57:15This is that cipher guys brother.
00:57:17Yeah, he knows all the law.
00:57:21So look, we'll sell them the box.
00:57:23We'll get them in trouble and then we'll get their money on
00:57:25the back end to for the amnesty program entrepreneurship.
00:57:32So today we have provided probably one of the greatest PSAs
00:57:36there's ever been.
00:57:38Yeah, I think so.
00:57:39Now.
00:57:39I think the modern day version of this and it's crazy how that
00:57:45they're just catching onto this stuff.
00:57:47But like sharing a Netflix or Hulu password.
00:57:51So would you steal?
00:57:53Hell?
00:57:54Yeah, I'd still do it.
00:57:57They got an amnesty program.
00:57:59How much trouble can you actually get into?
00:58:01Come on.
00:58:02Yeah, you know what?
00:58:03I think I would too and then you plead ignorance get amnesty
00:58:06and you're like, hey, listen, it was like a two-year discount
00:58:09one-year discounts three-month discount.
00:58:11However long you can ride it until that guy went from the
00:58:13pirate satellite shows up and says I'm here to collect cheese.
00:58:19Dude.
00:58:20This was this was cool stuff.
00:58:23I'd love to do a more like like 2000s version of this but
00:58:29specifically for pirating music.
00:58:32I think if we could do a PSA on that as well kind of similar
00:58:36to this one that could be a cool, you know, one after the
00:58:40other look at the two different types of piracy the two
00:58:43different types of stealing.
00:58:45Do you think the video decipher guy figured out how to get
00:58:47himself some free music too?
00:58:50Oh, he's all had news call up call up Gateway got got myself
00:58:55one of them their computers on a payment plan paid the first
00:58:59month never called them back and then from there I downloaded
00:59:02Napster Jorrell told me about Napster.
00:59:06I got me the dr.
00:59:07Dre CD and I never look back.
00:59:10You have to think the generation before us that was that was
00:59:15doing this stuff.
00:59:16But with cable they knew about the decipher one and the
00:59:20decipher to and when they caught on to that they moved on
00:59:23to the little black box version one and verse, you know what I
00:59:26mean?
00:59:27Like it's just kind of I don't know.
00:59:29It's it's interesting to me.
00:59:30It really really is and you know, this is one of those
00:59:35not even like a class thing to because I remember like
00:59:40maybe an uncle.
00:59:42I guess I'm not throwing anybody's name out there.
00:59:45Nobody's name.
00:59:45Nobody social security number, but you know, they may have
00:59:49ended up with a black box as well.
00:59:51They had a good paying job.
00:59:53Yeah, but you know what for the investment in that thing?
00:59:57Well, hey, guess what kids you get to watch Jurassic Park to
01:00:01tonight how
01:00:05I just have to hook up.
01:00:07I got he's cool.
01:00:08I know a guy though.
01:00:10There was there was always that store.
01:00:11I know a guy.
01:00:12Yeah, and then you're like, I don't know how but every time
01:00:17I go over there I get to watch the latest movie now.
01:00:21I don't have to pay to watch Congo.
01:00:23No and dude.
01:00:23I think there's just a big collective FU towards the cable
01:00:27company.
01:00:28No matter what like tax bracket your family might be in it's
01:00:32like you're just been ripping off people for so long.
01:00:36So F you like I don't think and nobody has any sympathy for
01:00:40the cable company.
01:00:42No, they really don't as much as I would legit drive past
01:00:48time Warner in South Port.
01:00:50We flip them off every single time we drove by as a ritual.
01:00:55We wouldn't ever it didn't matter.
01:00:57We could be mid conversation.
01:00:59We drive by it flip them off.
01:01:01Well, yeah, you don't get one out of five stars in your
01:01:04ratings online with stellar customer service.
01:01:10So for Joe, my name is Jeff.
01:01:12Thank you so much for watching pop culture Paradise steel
01:01:15cable or don't steal cable.
01:01:18Let us know what you would do in the comment section.
01:01:20Just don't leave any details that would have them find you
01:01:24if you like this video like click and subscribe and you
01:01:28know what get a downloader and pirate all my videos too.
01:01:31Okay, you know, yes.
01:01:33Let's just make it fair for everybody if I'm going to
01:01:35advocate take it take it and share it you heard it right
01:01:40here.