Is musterbation really Harmful.
By
Kashif Mag
By
Kashif Mag
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Okay, let's talk about masturbation. When masturbation's lost its fun, you're effing
00:08healthy or not. Let's decide. Welcome back. Today we're going to talk about masturbation. Is it
00:14harmless or harmful? So on the internet or the outer web, as my kids call it, you can find
00:24professionals telling you that not only is masturbation fine, that it's healthy for you,
00:30that it's something that you need. Well, today, let's break it down. Is it harmful? Is it harmless?
00:36Is it helpful? Is it healthy? Well, let's check it out. We are specifically going to talk about
00:43how masturbation relates to pornography. We're going to talk about how it relates to sex toys.
00:51This was a question by someone who has asked the question multiple times in the comments. So
00:56please leave comments. I read every single one and I'm trying to show up here in a way that you want
01:02me to do so to help you on this journey. Another viewer asked for me to talk about arousal templates
01:09and fetishes. So we're going to break down those things in this podcast. But before we do, welcome
01:15back. I'm Dr. Trish Lee. I'm your hostess with The Mostest. And this is part of my outreach program.
01:21To first of all, help people who are struggling with screen addictions and who want to get on track
01:27and on purpose in their life to elevate their mind over life's challenges. So thank you for coming
01:33back. And if you're interested in helping me in the journey on this mission, please go over to
01:39pornbrainprevention.org. It is a nonprofit organization that I founded to help children and
01:44young people never get into a situation where they're addicted to explicit matter. Donate. I
01:50always match the donations. All right, cool. Now let us dive in. Today, we're going to talk about
01:55masturbation. And if you have a masturbation habit or a compulsive masturbation habit, that means you
02:02go back frequently, consistently, and basically you need it to not feel bad. You might think you need it
02:08to feel good. You actually need it to not feel bad. And if you don't know what I mean by that,
02:13just try to stop. You will find out quickly that your anger, irritability, anxiety, depression,
02:19general malaise will all go through the roof. So if you have a compulsive masturbation habit,
02:25this video is for you. And it's not about shame. It's about awareness. It's about knowledge,
02:31inspiration, empowerment. That is what I'm on a mission to do. I want everybody to find their
02:38authentic life, have the courage to chase it down and to live it because then guess what happens?
02:43You feel great. You're on purpose and you don't need to go to masturbation for high levels of dopamine
02:50that you will find out about in a minute to escape from your life. So many people are escaping and they
02:56don't even know why I'm going to tell you. So first, let's talk about what happens in the brain.
03:03What is the brain science showing behind masturbation? When you mix masturbation with
03:09internet pornography, this is very different than a person who may have developed a, you know,
03:17let's call it a casual masturbation habit for the lack of better verbiage here. Someone who never found
03:23porn and maybe they go to masturbation here and there. That is very different. That's a casual
03:29masturbation habit versus a compulsive one. What we know from the science is that if you found
03:35pornography, usually when you were younger and adolescence or now childhood, and you coupled
03:41that with masturbation, that became a linked super normal stimulus for your brain. What that means is
03:49your brain receives very high levels of dopamine from masturbation. Now the sleuthy or the tricky
03:56part of pornography is that once you viewed it enough, especially with frequency, consistency,
04:03any level of intensity, you can internalize it. It becomes about fantasy. It becomes about euphoric
04:10recall of the past things you've seen before, or perhaps fantasy of things you want to see
04:17or experience in the future. None of that is about the present. So porn, when linked with
04:23masturbation, internalizes that fantasy about past, future, escapism, somewhere else, that's what
04:31fantasy is, and it takes you away from your life. We know from the brain side, what's happening is the
04:39dopamine reward center in your midbrain, it has dopamine receptors. Those are being flooded in dopamine,
04:46where if you had a sexual experience with your partner, which has dopamine at lower levels, those
04:52dopamine receptors would be lit up a little. But when you go to porn and masturbation over and over
04:59compulsively, you're basically lighting those receptors up on steroids. You're flaming them up
05:06often. You're desensitizing them. And what happens from there is the reward center becomes desensitized,
05:13and the reward pathways that feed forward to the frontal lobe. They become desensitized. There's
05:19scientific studies that show that the frontal lobe basically becomes knocked out and functioning.
05:26It's no longer performing at the levels that it would without pornography and chronic masturbation.
05:32So casual masturbation and chronic masturbation, two different things. And masturbation linked
05:39to pornography, very different than a person who masturbates and stays with a sensation in their
05:46body in the present. So casual masturbation is a present type of activity. And masturbation
05:54compulsively, especially with pornography, is a past and future or another realm type of activity,
06:02not a present activity. These are two different things. So when we have that compulsive nature,
06:08and you continue to go back frequently, this is neuroplasticity. And I know some people think,
06:14you know, I'm hyperbolic. That's a word. When I say that neuroplasticity can be your best friend or
06:23your worst enemy. When you keep going back to porn and masturbation, that act is making neuroplasticity
06:29and the neural rewiring a saboteur in your brain. It's actually linking your brain to go back and to
06:37need to go back to not feel bad. That's the compulsive nature. So number one, they're very
06:43different. Casual masturbation, chronic compulsive masturbation. My first challenge to you is figure
06:49out which category you fall into. Masturbation one time a month, even at that, I would say would be
06:55a casual habit more frequently than that. And especially if you have a plan around it, especially
07:01if you consider yourself having sessions, especially if you masturbate in the shower very frequently,
07:07if you have a habit around this, you fall into compulsive. Now, what we know from the brain
07:12sciences is that a compulsive masturbation habit can lead to erectile dysfunction from this
07:18desensitization of the dopamine center in the brain. We also know that this is what can change your
07:25arousal templates. So I had the question on fetishes. Now, if you're chronically compulsively
07:32masturbating to one type of scene that you find to be the highest level of pleasure, it doesn't even
07:39matter what scene is. This is what makes a fetish. You are linking your brain neural pathways fired over
07:46and over and over and over and over with that one stimulus. So that becomes your highest level
07:53arousal template. It becomes the fetish, no matter what it is. I don't even have to tell you what it
07:58is because I don't want the hijacker in your brain getting any ideas, but it can range from anything.
08:05That's why there's so many different genres. They're counting on, the industry's counting on your
08:09brain getting linked to it. This is how your arousal template changes. So now that becomes the highest
08:15level arousal scenario or act for you, then when you go back to have a sexual experience with your
08:22partner, it's boring to quote someone. I was on his podcast. It hasn't come out yet, but I recorded
08:28it the other day and he's like, this is why it's boring when you go back to have sex in the real
08:32world. I'm like, you know, you just called sex with your wife boring, right? And you know, he clarified,
08:37no, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean that. But I love that he said that because that is how it registers
08:42in the nervous system. Now your gorgeous knockout smoking hot wife, like he said,
08:47feels boring to your brain because it's not that distorted arousal template that you've linked
08:53your brain to 10, 15, 20, 100, 10,000 times, 100,000 times for some people. So think about it.
09:00That arousal template gets changed because you're linking your brain to it over and over and over.
09:05And then now you go back into your real life intimacy and it's meh, right? Your partner's
09:12meh. I can't compare. Level 20 in the screen, linked to masturbation, partner sex of being with
09:19another person. Eh, it's like a six. That's what happens. That's how ED happens. That's how the
09:26arousal template gets changed. Your brain and your body get bonded to that scene. Now let's talk about
09:33sex toys. Another person asked me questions about sex toys. It's the same. If you're bonding your
09:40brain and your body through the neurochemistry in your brain, namely dopamine, now what's happening?
09:48Now you are creating a self sex scenario with toys. Those toys are more exciting than just masturbation.
09:57All of this is tolerance building and escalation for more dopamine. They are not healthy for you.
10:05And of course, it depends what your goal is. My goal for you, healthy, real world pleasure from your
10:11work, enjoying your work like I'm enjoying it. This is my work. This is my mission. This is why I get up
10:17in the day. I'm psyched to do it all the time. I'm psyched to serve the clients that we work with.
10:22If I had a hundred million dollars, I would still be here. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't be here for
10:27the next month. I'd be on a beach. After that, I'd be back tan and relaxed, but I would be here. This
10:33is my mission. There's no amount of money that can stop me. So that's the empowering, you know,
10:39vocation, not just work, the vocation that a person is here for purpose and in the hobbies,
10:45the things you love to do. It's gorgeous out today. I'm going to get out there, do my kickboxing and
10:51boxing. It's a beautiful day. Maybe I'll hit the lake on my paddleboard because we're moving into
10:56summer. So that's amazing. But then also I want you to have real life intimacy with your partner.
11:01I want the number one sexually satisfying thing for you to do is to be with someone who wants to be
11:08with you, not a sex toy, not a fake artificial scene that is put on by performers. That's not what
11:17I want for you. So think about it. Okay. So now what can you do? If the problem is you are linking
11:23your brain to the screen, to the easy button, to sex toys, you're changing your arousal template
11:29through the saboteur of poorly pushed neuroplasticity in the wrong direction,
11:35what's there to do about it? The solution is in the problem. You have to stay away from porn.
11:41I know easier said than done because it's highly addictive and your brain is, it is trained like a
11:49puppy to go back to those scenes. It might be trained like a puppy to go back to those fetishes
11:53or to those toys. So you have to untrain that puppy. And my dog, Chewy, he's actually been begging for
12:01food more. Every time he comes near Saoirse, my youngest daughter, she goes, scram. And she said it
12:07the other day. She's like, I've actually taught him to go away just at the word scram. And he's 13.
12:13You can teach an old dog new tricks. You can teach your brain new tricks too, no matter how long
12:20you've been pushing it in that direction. That's the beauty of neuroplasticity. It can become your
12:25best friend, but here's what you have to do. Hard stop on the artificial dopamine from the arousal
12:31templates you've been feeding it, from the sex toys, from the porn, from the compulsive masturbation.
12:36Now you need a dopamine detox from those things and a dopamine stack from your real life.
12:43Figure out the parts of your work you like to do the most. Do them. Figure out the hobbies that
12:48you love to do. Do them. This is my husband's birthday weekend. He's golfing four times. How
12:55fun is that, right? He loves to golf. If I had to golf four times in a weekend, that would not serve me.
13:01Do what serves you. Figure it out. Do it. Build it into your week. Schedule it in. If it's not
13:06scheduled, it's not real. Then it's imperative to get a good morning routine going. Wake up. Don't
13:12touch your phone. Teach your brain to be present. Remember, this is about being present and enjoying
13:16it. Even the challenges you can enjoy. Even a difficult conversation with your partner about
13:22your sex life and spicing it up so it has more dopamine if that's necessary. You can stay present
13:27in that and be very proud of yourself and glad that you have the courage in the face of fear
13:32to communicate and to use higher level emotional intelligence and interactional style. That's what
13:38this is about. Then you organize your day so that it's brain boosting. Your brain's on and it has
13:45enough break time so you're not tipping yourself into strained brain. Strained brain's wired and
13:50tired, stressed and exhausted. It basically necessitates porn and masturbation at the end of the day
13:56in the way that you've trained it. We need to train this old dog that at the end of the day,
14:00you take a beautiful walk. You take Chewy for a walk like I do. You listen to the birds. You feel
14:05the wind in your hair. You see a neighbor. You chat. On my walk the other day, I saw one neighbor
14:11struggling with a ladder. Another neighbor came across and helped him and they were chatting.
14:15And I thought to myself, if those two were plugged in, that never would have happened.
14:19And if I was plugged in, I never would have noticed it. I gave them a hey. We gave each other a wave
14:24and a laugh. Beautiful. Real life, real world experiences. Go for that. In the evening, cuddle
14:31with your honey. Build real world intimacy. Get some foreplay going. Build some excitement towards
14:37being together. Real world sexual satisfaction. Then be with your partner and enjoy it. Don't go
14:44to fantasy in your mind. Remember, euphoric recall pulls you out of the present. It takes you into the
14:49past into the future. Stay present. You're going to have to stay away from masturbation for a while,
14:54but maybe you could include it in your sexual experience with your partner. If they're up for
15:00it. Remember that discussion you're going to have? So let's double down on dopamine detoxing
15:06from the screen, dopamine stacking from your real life. Okay. Now, if you're looking for help on this
15:12journey, please go over to drtrishlee.com. This is what me and my team help people with
15:16all day, every day. When people have a compulsive masturbation habit, it gives them a lot of shame.
15:22It gives them fear. When you realize you can't stop and it's impacting your sex life. When you have
15:28ED and you don't know who to turn to, or maybe you've turned to a professional and they told you
15:32it's in your head or it's fine for you. It's healthy for you. It's not healthy. So to be very,
15:37very clear, compulsive masturbation is harmful to you and the goals that you are setting for your life.
15:45It is harmful. It's not harmless. There's big impact here flying below the radar. If you need
15:52help, please go to drtrishlee.com, schedule a consultation or get your brain map scheduled.
15:58In your brain map, we'll be able to show you where the brain dysfunction is from the compulsive
16:03masturbation. We'll be able to show you what your brain needs to reverse that and use neuroplasticity as
16:09your best friend. I would love to help. Okay. So until next time, control your brain or it will control
16:16you. I'll see you then.