The Studio (2025) - Season 1 Episode 5 -
The War
#ShowMovies
The War
#ShowMovies
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You
00:24Yeah, I'm just getting in now there was a million motherfuckers trying to get on the lot this morning
00:28That Netflix Waterloo miniseries started shooting today. Oh, that's right. Don't remind me
00:32We're running out our stages to those fucking hacks
00:35Also, Chris Hemsworth is in town this week and wants to get martinis, but he looks solid. Oh, no, really
00:41Okay, look any slot opens up instantly fill it with Chris Hemsworth. I love that dude. Okay, where we out on wink, man
00:47Are we close almost Parker just wants me Matt before wrapping this up. I told you that's gonna happen Matt wants to do it
00:54He said to me actually this morning
00:56I can't wait to meet Parker Finn. So tell Parker that so he can close the deal sign some papers
01:02Also Parker still worried. It's too similar to smile. He doesn't want to direct the exact same movie again. Yeah, don't even worry about that
01:08He's gonna talk to Matt who will assuage him and we are gonna make a great movie
01:17Trust me, it'll be fine Quinn stop dicking around has Matt even read Owen's script or not
01:21Matt has got a lot on his plate right now, but I'm gonna follow up with him first thing this morning
01:26You've been saying this for months. We went with you because you said you had a lot of sway over there
01:30Can you get a movie made or not? I absolutely can get a movie made. I just I I'm I'm sorry
01:36Can you can you hold on a second?
01:38Hi. Hi. I'm so sorry. What is happening?
01:41Miss lots fool gonna have you park in the remote garage down the street
01:46But it's 845. So I was already full. Well, we lost two floors this week for a production
01:53Okay
01:55Officer Anderson, is it would it be possible actually to get a permanent spot next to my office because I've worked here for five years
02:02The operations can help you with your assigned spot for now. You might be parked down the street
02:08Okay
02:10You know, I'm a CE that stands for creative exec, which I guess means fucking nothing
02:16Hey still here. Good luck finding a parking spot and get all kinds fucking movie made
02:22Fuck my fucking ass
02:25Hey
02:29Hey, can I get a water from you?
02:36Look who decided to show up to work
02:39Literally two minutes after night. I'm just kidding. But seriously we started not, you know, of course
02:44Hey, did you get a chance to read that script? I sent you which one was that the low-budget slasher that Owen Klein wrote for
02:49Himself to direct. I think he's so talented and so smart
02:52Yeah, no, it was actually a really fun read but Sal's been also developing a low-budget slasher movie
02:57I don't think we can do both, you know the ripoff of smile. We're still definitely doing that. Oh, yeah, definitely
03:02Yes, you got a director on board. He's really psyched about we were just gonna go meet about it
03:06Why don't you just help him with his instead?
03:09Yeah, totally
03:11Oh
03:16What up, baby
03:21Fresh draft nice cut off the press
03:24Hey Sal, how are you?
03:26Hey
03:28Matt I thought you and I had a meeting right now. Oh, yeah Quinn's actually gonna jump on board the wink stuff from now on
03:34Hey Patrick, can you come in here and take some notes, please?
03:37Okay
03:40Sorry, don't be sorry just take notes. All right, so wink love that script go set wink before they murder. Ah, oh
03:48That was cool
03:50Script is really great Parker Finn offer out. He wants to meet you, which I said was fine
03:55Isn't that the guy who directed smile? Yeah, really him
04:02Why'd you say that like that
04:03Just because I feel like if we're already ripping off his movie it makes sense to hire like a new cool director
04:08You know just so it doesn't feel stale. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's gonna feel stale, you know
04:12The offers out the meetings being set for this week, but that was awesome. Great idea
04:15Yeah, but maybe we shouldn't settle, you know, we should probably take some more meetings. Oh, what about Owen Klein?
04:20He's been dying to make a slasher for forever. That's actually a really interesting idea. Wait a minute the Owen Klein
04:26Follow-up, who the fuck is Owen Klein? He literally made one of the coolest movies of 2022
04:32Yeah, it's called funny pages and it went to can
04:35Stop doing that a 24 released it the Safty Brothers repeated
04:39jokes aside
04:40Con a 24 and softies. I like all of that
04:44So do I wink is not an a 24 movie? All right, it's not for a bunch of pansexual mixologists living in Bed-Stuy
04:50This is a wide release for normal American people who like cool movies. Okay, but if we are making a low-budget movie
04:56Maybe it makes sense to take a big swing on a direct if you take a big swing you can strike out Matt
05:01I got you the original director of smile to basically remake his own movie for this studio and a scary smile
05:09Could gross over 200 million
05:11Imagine what a scary wink could do
05:15Just because that worked one fucking time doesn't mean it's gonna work again
05:18All right, there are 11 fast in the furious movies that prove your little theory fucking stupid, man
05:23I would love to be proven wrong by you are I would love to be but I just think this idea as it stands
05:29It's just a little
05:31Lame
05:36Lame it is not. Yeah, it's not lame. I mean
05:41Honestly, I kind of had like fears. It was a little way
05:49I don't want this whole thing to come across as like a cynical cash. Well, you need a head
05:53So it kind of is well, but it doesn't have to be that, you know, I'll meet the smile guy
05:57But I'll also meet Owen Klein. He sounds cool. He's so cool
06:01That is great news
06:02Matt Remick's office. Oh, yes one second
06:07Get out I'm gonna take this knocks knocks motherfucker. Oh, I mean, yeah, I'll hold for Johnny
06:15Quinn what the fuck was that? What was what Owen Klein? I'm making a deal
06:20I've been trying to get Parker fit on this for weeks. Owen Klein is cool. It's not a cool contest
06:25That's literally all Matt talks about Matt let you into my meeting and absolutely derailed derailed it
06:30Helped you you said the word lame and you know, that is very triggering to Matt
06:37When I was a
06:39first year creative executive
06:41I did not pitch directors willy-nilly I shut the fuck up because if I didn't someone would throw a stapler at my head
06:47Well times have changed you throw a stapler at my head. You're gonna end up dead like Scott Rudin. Just got rid of that
06:54Professionally, yeah, okay. Well professionally if you don't start respecting the hierarchy, you'll probably be gone, too
07:00Are you threatening me? Is that a threat trying to give you some fucking friendly advice?
07:23Oh, you scum no, oh
07:27So good this is so good
07:33Fuck oh my god. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It's not you. I'm sorry. I
07:40Just had a really shitty day at work
07:42Are you thinking about it now? Yes. I'm sorry. Also when you fucking me from behind my mind wanders sometimes
07:49I was just pissing me off about what?
07:52He said when he was my age you just listened in meetings
07:55He didn't speak isn't that crazy to not talk at work. Maybe it's your job to just listen sometimes
08:03Well, then why'd I get promoted if I can't talk in meetings? I swear to God. He's just threatened by me
08:09You haven't said repeatedly that you think you're smarter than him and that you want his job
08:13Well, why shouldn't I have his job because I'm young
08:17Alexander the Great was king by 20 years old
08:19This is literally 2,000 years ago and everyone was dead by 28
08:25My talents are being wasted
08:34You guys excited a little Musso and Frank's on a weekday Wow, what a cool dad
08:43You guys can get whatever you want you want to get a glass of wine get a glass of wine
08:46I don't give a shit. Don't tell your mother. Please. I saw a pretty funny meme this week. It was
08:51Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers doing the predator hand. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you
08:58girls
08:59Thanks
09:02Thank you
09:04Sky why are we still doing the baby voice?
09:10Yeah, Oh Bella, hey, how's photography classes going your mom sent me a photo you took it was gorgeous
09:16Darkroom class sucks. It takes like two hours to develop a single photo
09:22Yeah, that does kind of suck. Just take it on your phone, you know easier
09:27Hmm
09:28food
09:30Steak for her. This is the Bolognese girl right here. If you can get a little
09:33Cheese right now. You're not gonna talk right now sky sky sky sky sky sky
09:38All right. Hey Bell, do you want a claw or do you want part of the tail or what dad?
09:42I've been a vegan since last week
09:45Why didn't you tell me that before I ordered all this food
09:48I told you last time you called and you forgot and I don't want to be here in the first place
09:51This place is so old and lame like you you don't get anything. You're so cringe
09:57I'm gonna go vape outside
10:00You know, I canceled a meeting with Eli Roth to be here with you
10:03Who?
10:15How's lunch so good you like lobster
10:18Hey, did the Parker Finn meeting get set because he needs to meet Matt for that deal to go through. Yeah
10:23It's confirmed for tomorrow 2 p.m. Okay, I need you to reconfirm it because if it doesn't happen
10:27I'm dead and I will take you with me Daniel. Okay
10:39Hey, you're still here. Yeah, I have so much work to do. Do you need any help?
10:43No, you go home you guys you're right. Okay. Have a good night. We've died pretty Miss Bay
11:10And
11:13Hey Parker's here, where's Matt? Oh, he's right there. Oh great
11:20You ready for a little meeting buddy
11:23I have a meeting. I have no idea what you're doing. I'm going to a meeting with you and Parker Finn right now
11:28Parker Finn the wink guy
11:31That's him in the black right there. I
11:33Don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I got lunchtime martinis with Chris Hemsworth right now. No, no, no
11:37This was your calendar. Maybe Petra got her wires crossed, you know, she's still new
11:41She's figuring shit out and she's honestly not that smart, but I definitely have lunch genies with Chrissy Hams
11:46We are on the one-yard line with this movie. All right, this guy needs five minutes of your time. Give me five minutes
11:51I'm still need hands work. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll just tell Chris to sit around with his giant Australian thump his fucking ass. Absolutely
12:02Parker Finn
12:05Sup Sal, how you doing, baby? Good, man. Good good. Did one of these mob girls offer you water or coffee? Yeah
12:11Yeah, no, I crushed like three waters. I was waiting for you and Matt. Let's do this nice
12:15So Matt not gonna join us today, but I think we can get a lot of work done
12:19We can talk about casting and what are you talking about?
12:22Yeah, but the whole point of me coming down here was to meet with Matt. It was
12:27Huge problem on one of the sets that he had to go deal with but it's right, dude
12:31You remember when you told me this project was a huge priority for your studio?
12:34I said that because it is okay, and there was an explosion on one of the sets
12:39Some people died and and it's not personal not personal. I mean, it's not personal
12:46You guys are asking me to basically rip off my own fucking movie
12:49Okay, it's personal when Matt doesn't show up to the meeting. I feel so
12:53Angry about it. So do I
12:55Give me one more chance
12:57Tomorrow you Matt you name the time we work around Parker Finn. I
13:02Can do 915 that's it 915 done done deal. Thank you. Yeah, I'll bring the courage bagels my friend
13:18Hey, Daniel
13:20Why didn't Matt know about that fucking me? I don't I don't know. I don't I don't know I said it
13:26I swear I swear I swear. I hope you're right. Look
13:33Oh
13:37How come the Parker Finn meeting was not Matt's calendar
13:41It was I put it in someone must have deleted it. Oh my god. I got hacked
13:45Yeah, you definitely got hacked. Your password is one two, three four, and it's written on the post note on your monitor
13:52915 a.m. Tomorrow Matt Parker Finn me. It cannot be moved
13:56Oh my god, I'm gonna get in trouble not you
14:02Oh
14:24You guys meeting Owen Klein
14:27Gonna join
14:28Well, it's kind of a preliminary meeting sort of get to know you can't wait to get to know him
14:32There he is in our fountain just like Frank Lloyd Wright envisioned
14:37Owen hi
14:41Always nice to see you so nice to meet you. I loved your film. I missed it, but I've heard great things great
14:47Thanks, Jesus fucking Christ. How old are you? You're a baby
14:5132 year old man bullshit. I really am
14:54Let's get it. Come on little fella. We get your homework in here. Yeah
14:59Yeah, I mean to be honest when when Quinn first came to me with this idea
15:03I was a little bit hesitant at first
15:04But look if you guys are actually open to doing something different I have a lot of ideas
15:07We love new ideas just not too new because we got a pretty tight formula that we gotta hit
15:12I wouldn't say it's a formula so much as a structure that we 100% no work
15:16So we're gonna do it over and over again, right? Okay. Well, look I want to entertain audiences just without compromising creativity
15:22Trust me. You're gonna have to compromise your creativity
15:26I was just trying to say is these movies they do well at the box office and we just want to maintain that as much as
15:33possible
15:34That makes sense pop quiz hotshot
15:36We make the movie we edit it. Yeah, you love it. Yeah favorite movie. You've ever made nobody test it and it gets a
15:4423 what do you do?
15:47What do I do, yeah 23 out of what exactly out of what's out of a hundred what the fuck what do you do?
15:53What do I do?
15:54I would consider the feedback and take it into serious consideration and if there's criticisms that make sense
16:01I would probably make some changes
16:03If you get a 23 you're rewriting that thing whether you like it or not. Okay, 30 pages of reshoots in three days
16:13Actually
16:16What he says if his movie tests like shit, that's a good question
16:21I've heard a lot of good movies get low scores. I'm gonna again a lot of pretentious art house shit that dies
16:28Those Tesla we want this to not be
16:33Not gonna be my I appreciate you got a strong vision for this though. I'm really
16:38We should just revisit
16:41Godspeed little fella that kid was not as cool as I was hoping he'd be I like him, but we dodged a bullet
16:47Yeah, maybe someone who went to con isn't the best guy to remake a movie. That's already been remade twice
16:52You know three times if you count the short, but hey
16:54Parker Finn, oh, yeah excited to meet him. You're gonna look next time Quinn. You'll get him
17:01That is tit-for-tat, what are you talking about? What am I talking about? Don't play dumb with me. Come on
17:07I know you had something to do with Matt not being at the Parker Finn meeting
17:10But now, you know don't fuck with my slate. You're the one fucking with my slate
17:16Okay
17:16I've been trying to get my first movie green light while you're remaking movie for the third fucking time
17:21Stay in your lane. Wait your turn at this rate. I'm never gonna have a turn
17:26honestly
17:27Yeah, you're probably right
17:29I'm smarter than you. I watch more films than you. I actually went to film school and I care about filmmaking
17:34Okay, we don't make films. We make movies and we're not artists. We're executives and you're not even that
17:40you're just a
17:42Fucking d-girl
17:47Did you steal that from the Sopranos your birds aren't even original come on Daniel come to me
17:58D-girl fucking d-girl
18:00I'll show you fucking d-girl
18:09Great work Daniel. Thank you
18:30I
19:01Oh
19:03We brought the Perry's out to impress Parker Finn, yeah, that's how you seal the deal. Yeah
19:14What the fuck
19:20Oh the golf cart in your spot
19:31I
19:34Saw you at my desk yesterday. Did you take the keys? No, I did not do that
19:39What I don't believe you. I don't fucking believe you. Okay
19:48Hi, I'm calling from the Steinberg building
19:50There's a Porsche parked illegally right out front license plate number 8 a 7 6 h 3 someone needs to tow it away immediately
19:58Thank you so much
20:01Stop eavesdropping. God Daniel. Are you so obsessed with me?
20:08Fuck it's happening
20:10Sir, you can't park here. Yeah, no fucking shit. That's my space. I'm Sal someone parked their golf cart here
20:17Do you have like a like a universal key or something?
20:19Unfortunately, not so the golf cart keys are usually on the desk and they're not but I swear to God it was Quinn
20:24You're gonna have to move your car. I can move it. No, you will scratch it again for the million time. I'm sorry
20:30It's 915 and Parker Finn shows up. You tell him I'll be there in three fucking seconds run Daniel go now go go
20:36Thank you for nothing officer Johnson
20:42Thanks, sir
20:52Fucking Christ
21:00Move you fucking French pussies. Oh, excuse me, please
21:18Hey can't park here fine. I'm fine. Oh
21:24My god, I'm so sorry
21:30Oh
21:41Obviously get the fuck out of the way
21:51Excuse me, you know time we're getting started. It's 925 and have to leave soon for another meeting. Yeah, we're just waiting on Sal one second
21:57Where is he?
22:01You know where Sal is? No, he was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. What are we doing here?
22:06What do you want to go in the right side?
22:08Absolutely, not. I don't know this fucking guy. I'm not gonna make small talk with him shit. He's coming
22:12I'm pretend to be on the phone. Let me know if Sal gets here. Uh-huh. Totally totally totally totally. Yo, I'm sorry
22:18I'm on a call. Yeah, I think I'm gonna head out. Great. Cool. Thanks for coming in. Have a good one
22:26Huge fan of smile
22:30Yeah
22:34Profit Sal, are you kidding me man? Was it? No. No, dude. What get away from me. Sorry, dude. Look at you
22:40You're late. You're coming. What is this sauce? It's chilly. No, fuck you. Fuck Matt. Fuck this whole place
22:47Parker stop. Just let me fucking explain. Holy Sal
22:52You got a little something on your shirt
22:54I
23:02Know this was you
23:04How could this possibly my first time in your life?
23:06I know you put that fucking golf cart in my parking space and why would I do that Sal fuck with me missy? Hey
23:13Do not talk to me like I'm 12
23:18What are you gonna do with that Sal
23:21I'm gonna throw in your stupid little fucking face. You're gonna throw a burrito at a young woman. Yes. Yes, I am
23:27No, you don't have the balls to fucking do that
23:30Fucking try me make my day make my life old man. Come on. What you got? Come on. Let's go old man right here
23:37Here's your target
23:44No, no, no
23:51Oh
24:01Well, no one got seriously hurt so that's good that's great
24:05Yeah, thank fucking God for that one
24:06But Netflix needs us to investigate the accident to get insurance to cover the damages. Well, who caused the accident?
24:12Well, we don't know who caused it, but we do know what a quesadilla. I thought it was a burrito
24:17Hey Sarita is a type of burrito. Well, why wouldn't you just say burrito? I was being specific
24:22Do you want to run this meeting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't give a shit about any of that
24:26Just tell me how this caused the accident, please
24:28So this quesadilla hidden ad driving a golf cart in the face causing him to crash into the set
24:35Why would somebody throw a burrito at an assistant director's face?
24:39Great question Jesus HR will be handling things from here on out
24:44If it was an accident it'll slide but if it wasn't
24:48It's another story. Well, the important thing is no one got hurt. So it kind of doesn't matter. I mean it matters
24:54I want to know if I got a fire somebody over this feels like an accident though
24:57Thanks guys, but if it's not definitely find out who did it accident or not
25:13Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me in the ass, fuck me in the ass
25:19Oh
25:42My god HR is on to us so we need to get our story straight. All right
25:47There was a burrito there was a be right there on the top of the burrito
25:49So I fucking hit it and I went flying and hit the guy and that's bad
25:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we we are not getting out of this. I am getting out of this
26:00You are going down
26:04Yes
26:06My chance motherfucker, I'm gonna tell her that you threw that burrito at me and when I do you're
26:11Hey
26:12Asking for it. Oh, yeah, that's not gonna hold up in the court of HR. You are so good. All right, yo, for real
26:18I will get massacred and I'm technically a bit of a minority a bit of a woman of color. So you're double fuck
26:23I'm gonna be a hero. There's emojis in my name
26:27Please don't do this. Okay, so when you get fired, I'm definitely gonna get promoted, right?
26:31That means I am getting your office and your parking spot and your salary. Holy shit
26:36Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you
26:37I have two daughters and they are not smart and they are not talented and I'm gonna have to bankroll their lives and I'm here
26:44Begging you to let this go
26:47Okay, so it's not personal. Okay
26:51It's business
26:53Quinn
26:55Hey, I'm sorry. I treated you like shit because you're young. Okay, it's just you remind me of my daughter
27:00Oh, I'm not falling for that. I'm not like that. They also think I'm a loser
27:05You all have the same
27:08Youthful disdain when you look at me and when you said that my wink idea was lame in front of Matt
27:13it made me feel very old and
27:16irrelevant
27:19But also
27:20Okay, you kind of stopped acting like a little petulant brat
27:24You can't get me fucking fired because I was a little mean to you. Okay? Oh, yeah. Yeah, watch me
27:30No, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, don't do this. Quinn, Quinn, please do not
27:45What are you doing?
27:47I don't know
27:49I'm crying because you're gonna destroy my life
27:51Oh
28:00Now what are you doing supposed to be fun for me? Okay, and you're ruining it Quinn Quinn. Oh my god
28:10When does this mean what I think it means when when
28:16No, no, don't touch me. Oh
28:19Oh
28:20Fine fine fine. Okay, we'll do what you said. We will get our story straight
28:26We'll make it seem like a whole accident if you agree to the following anything you want
28:29You have to actually help me get my own movies made. Okay. I know we don't have the same taste
28:33I know the movies I want to make aren't the most commercial
28:36But that's why I actually need all the help I can get and you've done this a million times before and I want my shot
28:40You got it. Okay
28:43You gotta be a little more respectful to me
28:45Okay, just because I hate movies with subtitles doesn't mean I have nothing to teach you I've been doing this shit a very long time
28:51Quinn
28:53Deal
28:56Uh, I would like one more thing your parking spot
29:02Where the fuck am I supposed to I don't give a shit do we have a deal
29:16Fuck she's good
29:37Good morning, Sal morning Quinn
29:40Hey, fuck you Quinn, I need some help on a director ideas for wink max up my ass about it
29:45Oh, yeah, I got a big list
29:47Is that a new cologne? I smell Pinto is it so good. You owe me $3,000 for the suit
29:53What no, I don't
30:09I
30:39You
30:55You