In 2023 we rebranded to Max after our marketing accidentally deleted half of our logo during a manic episode. It was an incident that our friends, family, subcribers, and shareholders called “stupid” and “bad”. And to that we say: haven’t you ever tried bangs? Well think of Max as our bangs. Bangs that we had for a year and half out of pure stubbornness but now we’re hitting control Z on that keyboard and adding the HBO back in! It’s a move that some are calling exhausting but we’re calling “a Demi Lovato”.
Cast:
Michael Strauss as Head of Marketing
Crew:
Written by Sam Schaefer
Edited by Gabrielle Williott
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#hbomax #hbo #parody #comedy #honestads
Cast:
Michael Strauss as Head of Marketing
Crew:
Written by Sam Schaefer
Edited by Gabrielle Williott
Join this channel to get access to perks:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-0dXntqR76zT7b3-iB7Q1g/join
Honest Ads Merch: https://the-cracked-dispensary.creator-spring.com
Cracked.com: https://www.youtube.com/@UCjD2KyAEm84yVH8cTilID7Q
#hbomax #hbo #parody #comedy #honestads
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00Hi, I'm the head of marketing for HBO.
00:02Uh, I mean Max.
00:04I mean, F***!
00:05Hi, I'm the head of marketing for HBO Max.
00:08In 2023, we rebranded after our marketing intern accidentally deleted half of our logo
00:13during a manic episode.
00:15It happens.
00:16But now we're hitting Control Z.
00:17Max is once again, HBO Max.
00:20It's a move that subscribers and shareholders called stupid and bad.
00:23And to that we say, haven't you ever tried bangs?
00:25Well, think of Max as our bangs.
00:27Bangs that we've had for a year and a half out of pure stubbornness.
00:30Because the truth is, we knew that Max was a mistake almost instantly.
00:34Internal polling found the name was only the 36th most favorable option,
00:37just below piss and just above holocaust.
00:40And trust me, I wish we could stop rebranding too.
00:42I mean, we're going back and forth more than my mistress outside of a planned parenthood.
00:46And it's like, hey, just make a decision so I can react properly.
00:50But the fact of the matter is that it was time for a change.
00:53We've added a larger global audience as well as 22 million subscribers over the past year.
00:58We were doing that under the name Max.
01:00That's not a streamer name.
01:01That's the name of a kid who eats sand.
01:03Our executives also keep stating this move is to amplify the uniqueness of our larger brand.
01:07And nothing is more unique than not knowing who the fuck we are.
01:11We're basing this off of consumer insights that we've been gathering for the past year and a half.
01:14Insights such as, stop changing your name.
01:17And whatever your app is called, the user face is trash anyway.
01:20At the end of the day, this is all a byproduct of the streaming age.
01:24Consumers don't want shows to be prestige or good.
01:27They want their slop.
01:28And they want that slop unchanged but repackaged a million different ways so they think it's changed.
01:32And that's what this name change reflects.
01:34Which is why we're excited to announce our newest tagline as well.
01:37HBO Max.
01:39This where the slop go.
01:40While we're here, please stand by for our exciting pride announcement as we rebrand to gay.
01:45June only though.
01:46Otherwise, it's just a lot.
01:48Okay.
01:49But above all else, we're so excited to put this final rebrand behind us so we can get
01:53back to what we do best.
01:54Showing you just an absolutely tasteful amount of penis.
01:57Because whether your programming takes you to a five-star hotel in Thailand or to a church
02:01down south, we're going to show you that dick.
02:04Oh, and one final thing.
02:06Please stop doxing me or the judge is going to give my wife full custody of the kids.
02:11Okay.
02:11Thanks everyone.
02:13Um, go with Christ.
02:19Two, three, three, four, four, five, five, five, five, five, six, six, seven, seven, eight, nine,
02:31five, six.
02:31Okay.