- 4/23/2025
Pierre's Christmas Crap Tour 2023
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00whoa it's you welcome come in it's Santa Pierre and it's time for your tour of our Christmas
00:13crap this is the beginning you must enter in the kitchen just little things to show you little
00:19things little things little things little things little things Elvis can't have Christmas without
00:24Elvis now the thing is dear citizens just because something breaks as Christmas ornaments will
00:29you don't need to worry about it falls down just prop it up somewhere it's good now let's we've got
00:39that entrance we've got this entrance the thing is about decorations don't worry throw them wherever
00:46they land they're fine they're fine and they're fine you also need to have a black Christmas cap
00:54because it adds to the goth thing maybe we'll find Sarah and we could give this to her now again just
01:01wrap and throw don't throw something out because it's past its year 2017 was a perfectly fine year
01:08the thing is don't throw anything out we'll start with our brother station brother Benjamin and he's
01:16down here let's see if any of the DJ's are home they're kind of they don't like to be disturbed
01:22all right now we'll head down the hall oh look at this again coagulation is the name of the game you
01:34don't need to sort things out pesky things sort of slap them slap them slap them you have a box of
01:41Christmas stuff merry bright just put it up against the wall falls down don't worry about it things
01:48get crowded things get busy don't worry about it slap slap this is the auntie Martha Stewart Christmas
01:56we also don't want to pay attention to Hanukkah our dear late friend rabbi we have a lovely frame for
02:03the rabbi and so we slapped up some old um some old like but you see they come across
02:13what's that called menorah a menorah we've got the menorah so slap the menorah up there slap slap get a
02:24little blue you're covered we got hallways down there and again this used to be a Santa that would go up
02:31and down he broke and he doesn't do that anymore so just tie him to something let him hang or let
02:38him drop it's all good now come on down it gets a little thicker here which is what we want and again
02:46you don't worry about things just because you only have a little bit left slap it somewhere it's good
02:52to go slap slap slap wait a minute what about that door decoration from a couple of years back that
03:00was on the front door pull it out roll it out slap it up again slap slap slap slap slap Christmas lights
03:09don't work anymore don't worry about it even though these are like you know Asian or Japanese or Chinese
03:16or whatever they are they're so cool they don't work who cares slap slap slap where's Sarah why she's not
03:23here there's Connor where's your Christmas hat right here oh look at that all right now that might not
03:33say Christmas to you but I found it somewhere and it says it to me but you have to look at the detail
03:39the detail Christmas plungers who doesn't need one under your Christmas tree wait there's Betty Boop
03:48you got Betty Boop and again this was one of these things you put on a hedge or something outside we
03:54just hang it it doesn't work anymore but that's okay come on down come on in now this is the legendary
04:01microphone stand and in there you can sort of see the base of a microphone right well one of our great elves
04:10discovered that this would be perfect to hang used crap from so again it's all about slap slap slap slap slap
04:20throw it on everything tacky these are things you wouldn't want in your house a pink plastic Christmas
04:29tree not a natural fiber in it made probably in the plastics of DuPont or who knows now we had a Santa
04:36he doesn't work anymore but we just let part of him hang here with a Budweiser can on him and the other
04:46part his legs are in there that's his feet there covered with light before we go in there though
04:54come back here because I've got more things I need to show you oh look it's Rodney our chief engineer
05:00you love this don't you Rodney it's great he's also a fireman always concerned about the electrical
05:05power now this is our green room and in here is a great example of what I'm talking about
05:12for example a fireman Santa right that's where Rodney some of our lights work some of them don't
05:18don't worry oh the upside down penguin we've had him for years we just get it you know these are things
05:24again you wouldn't want in your house now wait you've got a garbage lid this is a perfect hanging
05:31ornament isn't it Connor yes it is it's perfect there's a couple hanging around elsewhere there
05:36are some hanging elsewhere the thing is it's the detail you got to focus in you got to see things
05:41we this was a Santa Claus that used to do sit-ups but he doesn't work anymore but he used to do
05:48sit-ups he was he was exercising Santa and these are all figures that used to work and make noises
06:00oh never mind this never mind him uh this one most of them don't work anymore they don't work
06:08don't worry slap them up put things up upside down what says Christmas more than some bad plastic grapes
06:15put them up hang them up slap them up better yet if you've got a bag full of crap don't unwrap it
06:23just hang the entire bag do you see where I'm going dear citizens that's what I'm talking about
06:29now over here who's this guy Connor
06:34that's the guy from our uh safety internet videos oh he's the guy from our safety internet videos
06:42we want what's his name human error his name is human error we wanted to have him up there and
06:48this is one of our many Christmas trees this is our rainbow Christmas tree actually has several
06:54colors but you can't see it this is another of our Christmas trees this ghastly thing I found at the
07:00g-boys it was priced at 50 bucks it cost maybe two dollars to make it but it would you want this in
07:08your house no of course you wouldn't that's why we have it here for you your santa doesn't work
07:14anymore slap them up I got this train set it didn't work after one year so what do you do
07:22I still have the tracks you you hang the tracks and you hang something from the track this little
07:29santa used to do things but he doesn't do them anymore maybe he needs batteries I don't know you
07:34hang you slap you put slap everywhere crap crap crap wait oh oops this is a half Christmas tree
07:43because if you don't have a lot of space you can put this in a corner but we want it so you can see
07:50that it's clearly a half Christmas tree and it works perfectly a pink Christmas tree right what says
07:57Christmas more than that now let me show you this this to me is the genius of what we're doing here
08:05this is an old inflatable happy birthday balloon celebration balloon obviously it has deflated
08:14do you throw it away no what you do is you hang it and then attach some of my parking tickets to it
08:21from the city of philadelphia violation parking authority the evil and wicked parking authority
08:28the bah humbug about them can be celebrated not only there but pancake came up with this great idea of
08:36hanging more of my parking tickets in a circular moving thing as we enter the studio along with elvis
08:43who's up here bells over there wait where's maryland maryland address blowing up here things of that
08:50nature again most people would throw that away oh wait where's sarah sarah look what i got for you
08:56a goth hat this i hear we're slapping the crap a goth hat because apparently eggplant purple is a goth
09:03shade well it looked black in the other light it'll go great with my acdc ugly sweater nice very nice
09:11that's our rocker sarah keep on slapping keep on slapping and again so slap slap slap don't worry
09:17about if you have a coagulated mess of goo just tie it up let it swing baby let it swing lights don't
09:25work don't don't even concern yourself with it wait let's come into the main studio now now these are
09:30important to have these things they necessarily not won't stay up but that's okay you put them up
09:38backwards you make a little window so people can still see in the studio now where are we oh here's a
09:44nice rainbow christmas tree here's the other part of santa's legs a couple of years ago we had a box
09:53of christmas lights and we thought why not just hang the entire box don't unspool it it broke chuck
10:01domico our new program director went out and bought a whole spool of lights but the idea is who's got the
10:08time to unroll them let them just be like that or like that and i have a pig there you've got the
10:15billy bass these are the medicated figures do any of them work we're seeing
10:23if you've got medicated figures there they go look at them look at that
10:39put them all on at the same time
10:45you'll be tempted to smash them against the fireplace because they will drive you crazy or
10:51they might work their way off oh poor thing over it goes come on in this i found at the g boys
11:02about 20 years ago it's an absolute piece of crap piece of plaster a bad plaster at that they were
11:09selling it for 99 dollars i kid you not it was on sale for like 52 it cost maybe one dollar
11:16dollars don't throw that kind of thing away that's valuable right maybe the piece de resistance of
11:24the art is the shotgun shells what says christmas more than red and green shotgun shells in the form
11:33of a wreath in the form of christmas lights in the oh and of course we've got beer gotta have beer lights
11:39but even if the shotgun shell lights don't work anymore hang them oh oh look at this see there's
11:47always something new you're saying what could this possibly be pierre these are jackie bam bam's
11:56chewed pens that's right zero in on that if you could kyle and you will see some marvelous dna
12:05from mr bam bam as he has chewed these pens pancake brilliantly decided to make an ornament out of
12:12them that's something happened oh you're good you're good keep going pancake decided to make a beautiful
12:19ornament out of them didn't you pancake yes i did yes he did now you also want a black christmas tree
12:25that's another one for sarah a goth one and hang a little 45 on it this is what you too can do
12:32get a cheap sign that says cheers you're happy you got an ornament just put it in a candle
12:38you've got stuff that doesn't match don't worry about it you've got an upside down christmas tree
12:42because you've got to have one and you've got to have it next to a palm tree but wait
12:47there's more this is one thing we always love this is the headless goose the goose lost its head years
12:56ago don't throw it away put the head in one side there's the head there's the body it's a headless
13:03goose hello yes i have been good santa goose thank you all right now that's that let's head over here
13:12and oh look at this this is another medicated moving figure it's snoopy and the thing opens the
13:21mailbox opens this probably was 150 and again cost no more than eight if that to make but the idea is
13:30also get really bizarre lights what are these lights you've got to find weird lights we've got
13:35guitar lights we've got bear lights we've got shotgun shell lights we've got every light known to
13:42humankind now cake am i missing anything uh no i don't think so we had tractor lights over there the fish
13:48are down there fish where we got pancake all right this is the great pancake hello here's some fish
13:54we got beautiful we got chinese chinese lanterns yep we have pigs right we have bunnies we have what
14:03else is on here oh some cows cows you've got to have cows guitars guitars is very important very good
14:12important there it is look at your shirt by the way what shirt are you wearing i'm wearing the uh santa's
14:17got to go bill weston shirt i tied on it that is a great producer what else do we have over here let's
14:23see as we come around the bend uh more shotgun show lights and again if you don't have the ability to
14:29unpack a spool of lights don't concern yourself that don't confront you as long as you get your money next
14:36friday all you need to do is hang the entire box that is the essence of crap you've got some piece of
14:44you know cardboard santa that's half broken don't worry about it slap it up there here's more pieces
14:50of the track of my bad christmas train slap it up there if you bring your stuff over have a little mmr
14:56ornament oh there's ryan our wonderful christmas elf he's there and everywhere you turn is christmas crap
15:06and for preston who doesn't want any of this in the main studio he's got coal coming his way that's
15:14right this is charlie cole and he will go to you if you've been bad all right is there anything else
15:22have i missed anything out here pancake uh no all right and the other thing is go to a party store
15:30oh look at the upside down santa see if you don't have the energy to put them up right don't worry
15:36hang them upside down hang them any way you can hang them put lights on lights don't work don't worry
15:42don't worry about a thing just always remember to make always remember to make an entrance and get loud
15:52ugly flashy things and put them in your house even if they don't work don't worry about it don't worry
16:01about it and so from all of us to all of you the christmas crap continues uh-oh our cameraman just
16:10almost fell over overwhelmed with the spirit by the way these lights don't work anymore don't worry about
16:17it just hang them anyway slap slap slap christmas crap look at this this is magnificent candles that
16:25actually do work we never took them out of the bus what says christmas more than this would you want
16:30it in your house no of course you wouldn't would you want that in your house no would you want that in
16:35your house no that's what you do put all of that in your house and have a happy holiday season
16:43from all of us to all of you that's your tour oh wait one more thing one more thing got to ring the
16:49plastic bell ding dong let the christmas bells ring now that i tell you is christmas happy holidays live long
17:02and prosper
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